Dear Diary,
Remember when I said that whole cheating thing from a while back was the worst day of my life? Well, today, something even worse than that happened. Something that will forever remain as a scar on my psyche.
A new Taco Bridle restaurant finally opened here today, and I was so excited! I went to a different one some time with my
parents and brothers and sisters and it was really good! The food was amazing, and the best part is, even though I was the first to finish, I didn't even have to wait around for the rest of my family to finish theirs, because we got kicked out of the restaurant when I swiped someone else's food off their plate!
The part that wasn't so great was that we couldn't go back to that particular restaurant. Not only did we get banned, but no one else really wanted to go back. Plus, it was kind of far away. And so ever since that day, I've been waiting for the opportunity to try some of their food again. And lo and behold, they have at long last opened one here!
When I found out a couple weeks ago they were opening soon, I kept telling my friends that we all absolutely needed to go. They eventually relented, so all seven of us reserved a table in advance, and today we finally got to go.
At first, I thought this was going to be the best meal I ever ate. And for the most part, it was. No mom and dad to tell me how much I could have; nope, I ate like a queen there. I had three tacos, two burritos, and a huge plate of fries with all the trimmings. At one point, I was afraid we'd get kicked out when Clover dumped a jug of milk over herself (her food was too spicy for her and Bright Eyes told her she needed milk to cool off), but thankfully, that didn't happen.
I wish I could say the part where I actually ate my food (before the disaster happened) went perfectly, but Starlight was being annoying and telling me I was eating too much. I told her to shut up and then went back to enjoying my food.
Some time after I had finished every item of food that I'd ordered, I began to feel a tummyache. I decided to just ignore it and act like everything was okay. I wasn't about to let Starlight have any kind of satisfaction over me.
You just might be wondering, "But Bon Bon, if you had more food than everyone else, then why were you still waiting at the restaurant? Shouldn't everyone else have already finished?" Well, ordinarily that would have been the case, but Patch was playing a practical joke on the other customers in the restaurant; specifically by pouring chili powder over their food. Not only that, but before that, she put on an outfit to disguise herself. Then, when she'd finished sprinkling chili powder over everyone's food except ours, she ran like hell. The rest of us simply waited around out of curiosity to see if she'd get away with it.
Well, no one seemed to recognize her as the one who'd been sitting at the same table as us, so she succeeded on that front. Regardless, I soon ended up regretting that wait.
As were we leaving, my friends admitted that Taco Bridle had actually been pretty good. Satisfying as it was to have them agree, I wasn't so sure Taco Bridle really was all that great anymore, what with the awful tummyache I still had.
If you happen to be a particularly squeamish reader (not that anyone else but me is supposed to be reading this diary), I would really recommend not reading past this point.
You're still here? You really want to hear about it?
Well, okay, then. Here goes.
I couldn't hold it in anymore. My tail lifted up, and with a long, loud, squelchy sound that fluctuated in pitch, the remains of all the Taco Bridle food I had eaten poured out from me, lasting for around thirteen seconds and creating a horrible brown puddle on the floor. To make matters worse, it didn't even happen near a drain that could get rid of any of it.
Judging by the sudden feeling of warmness and pressure in my face, as if there was too much blood there, I can only assume I turned red after that happened. I just stood there like a deer in headlights as everyone else who happened to be around stared in disbelief.
It was a few seconds after the end of the shitting that we had our first reaction. Sweetheart let out a continuous, blood-curdling scream and ran away as fast as she could, and then Melody smacked me upside the head with her guitar, yelling at me, "That is the third worst song I have EVER heard in my entire life!".
As she stormed off, I could only stand there, stammering. That is, until the boys came around the corner.
Teddy and Ace laughed at me, but unfortunately for the latter, he wasn't looking where he was going while he was coming up with some kind of insult at my expense. As a result, he slipped in the diarrhea puddle mid-speech and flew a few feet into the air before he fell flat on his face in said puddle.
While he was running away (presumably back home so he could get a thorough cleaning), leaving hoofsteps of shit as he went, I finally snapped back to my senses and hurried back to my house, doing my best (admittedly not very well) to ignore Teddy's laughter.
I just don't know how I'm going to recover from this. Part of me wishes a volcano would swallow me up. Heck, it hasn't been that long since I managed to clean that diarrhea out of my tail.
