Mrs. Shy didn’t know why she was at the bar. She wasn’t the bar hopping kind of pony. But here she was at the bar. Drink in hoof, standing as close to the door as she could be.
“Excuse me.”
Mrs. Shy was shoved to the floor by the largest pony she had ever seen. Big and Beautiful.
The big pony whirled around, her eyes ablaze in passion. “Did you just TOUCH me?”
“Yes I did.” Mrs. Shy stood up, threw her glasses off and shook her hair loose and wild. “What are you gonna do about it?”
Then Mrs. Shy remembered that she couldn’t see without her glasses. She was blind as all dickens. Luckily the big beautiful pony in front of her had caught her glasses. So she gave them back to her.
The big unicorn picked Mrs. Shy up in her magic and lifted her onto her back. Unicorns can do that, you know.
The big pony burst through the doors of the bar and out into the street. Mrs. Shy was riding on her back like a very inexperienced cow pony.
“Whoa Nelly!” Mrs. Shy screamed.
“How did you know my name?” The big pony kept galloping down the street.
“Whoa Nelly! This is crazy!” Mrs. Shy screamed again.
“HAHA I KNOW! How do you know my name, though?” The big unicorn was laughing and having lots of fun even though she was confused about how this random pegasus knew her name.
“WHOA NELLY!” Mrs. Shy was knocked off the big pony’s back because she ran under a very short tree.
“HOW DO YOU KNOW MY NAME?!” The big pony roared as she kept running down the street. She didn’t know that Mrs. Shy had been knocked off her back by a tree. She had been too distracted with all the fun she was having. She was also distracted by all the confusion she was having. She really wished she knew how this random pegasus that she had never seen before that she bumped into randomly in a bar that she never goes to could possibly in all of Equestria know her name.
Then she stopped because the pegasus that she had never met before that she bumped into randomly in a bar that she never goes to had stopped calling her name as she ran down the street.
She stopped and turned around, but there was no one behind her. This made her sad. More sad than the fact that she really didn’t know where she was at all in this town that she had never been to.
Then she looked up because she thought she heard something. But she didn’t see anything so she guessed that it wasn’t anything.
But the noise was getting louder. She looked up again. She still didn’t see anything.
“AAAAAAAAAAH!” Mrs. Shy sonicboomed a kick into the back of the big unicorn’s head. It wasn’t a sonic rainboom, though, because she’s not Rainbow Dash. Only Rainbow Dash can do sonic rainbooms. duh.
Due to her large stature, the big beautiful unicorn barely budged from the love that she had been shown. She turned around to see Mrs. Shy standing in a karate stance ready for more fun.
The big beautiful unicorn used her magic (Because she’s a unicorn, duh) to pick up a big heavy rock and throw it at Mrs. Shy. This game was really fun.
Mrs. Shy karate chopped the rock in half so that it only shattered her hoof instead of her whole body. She screamed in great love and affection toward the large unicorn that had thrown the rock at her.
Since it was her turn now, Mrs. Shy started flying and kicking the large beautiful unicorn so that she would be full of love and friendship. Because that’s what this show is all about.
After getting her body marked all over with the signs of love and peace and friendship, the big, beautiful, gorgeous unicorn pony hugged Mrs. Shy in her magic and slammed her into the ground. She did this several times because she wanted to make sure she knew how much she was loved.
When she was done showing Mrs. Shy how much the ground loved her, the large, round, pretty, amazing unicorn pony wanted to show her how much her butt loved her. So she slammed Mrs. Shy into the ground one more time and sat on her.
Mrs. Shy was having so much fun, she started flapping her wings. She was flapping them hard and fast. So hard and fast and strong. So hard and fast and strong and intensely, that the big, gorgeous, wonderful unicorn pony started hovering in the air above her. She started kicking her in the air for good measure. Mrs. Shy really wanted this beautiful, big, gorgeous, large, round, pretty, amazing pony to know how much she was loved.
The attractive, large, lovely, great, good-looking, huge, fetching, sizable, appealing, round, charming, immense, pretty unicorn took Mrs. Shy’s shattered hoof in her magic and showed it all the love she could muster with a glorious, stupendous, astounding, amazing, extraordinary, remarkable, wonderful squeeze of friendship.
Mrs. Shy cried out in love and friendship and harmony. Then she roundhouse kicked the gorgeous and grand mare in the teeth. Summoning the energy from all her ancestors, or something, she brought forth a mighty bolt of love and hurled it at the large and lovely unicorn.
The unicorn spun around in the air, unhinged her jaw and ate up all of the love that had been thrown at her. It was delicious. And it made her tumbly go rumbly really really good. It was so full of love. She decided to pass it on back to her new friend.
She spun around in the air again. Because they were still falling. And she was really nimble in the air. She was nimble everywhere she went, but especially in the air.
Anyway, she spun around in the air again, and let loose the most thick and dense cloud of love that she had ever released. Then she turned around in the air again. See? I told you she was nimble. And she blew that condensed cloud of pure brown love straight into Mrs. Shy’s face.
The love cloud was so amazing that Mrs. Shy couldn’t help herself. She regurgitated the most love she had ever regurgitated in her life. It was so much love and friendship, the big gorgeous unicorn had to add to the pile of love on the ground.
Passing out from all the love they had shown each other, the two fell to the ground with a mighty clonk.
_____________________________
They both awoke the next morning in the hospital. They were in the same bed because the doctor said it was good for the plot.
Then they made out.
Author's Note
I just feel like I need to say that I love Whoa Nelly. She’s perfect, just the way she is and she deserves her friends just as much as the rest of them.
