The Elements Of Chaos

This chapter strays from the actual plot and goes into a little about Pinkamena Diane Pie. Don't worry, nothing too graphic.

-Start-

The Castle of the Trolls floated high in the sky, invisible to all methods of detection that ponykind possessed. It was a gigantic fortress inhabited by no more than two trolls the height of a hundred alicorns, protected by a gigantic troll shield. This was an enchanted barrier that could only be bypassed by one thing, a giant beanstalk.

Pinkie Pie bounced around as she usually did. Except, this time she was in the living room of two giant pony-eating trolls without a proper escape plan. It was quite fortunate she was none other than Pinkie Pie; she was her own escape plan.

Two trolls cowered in the corner of the room covering their ears as Pinkie continued to ramble on about redundant matters.

"So then I said to Winona, I don't have any food for you! No cupcakes, no cakes, not even the root of a mandrake! So you know what I did? I gave her a carrot! The most delicious, delectable and delightful carrot I could find! She didn't seem to enjoy it much thought and that made me sad...But I know one thing for sure. She's been eyeing Fluttershy's chickens lately. I think she likes them."

Pinkie began stroking an imaginary beard in deep thought. The trolls let out a sigh of relief as she began thinking intensely.

Pinkie broke the silence.

"HEY! You know what we should do?!" Pinkie beamed proudly at the thought of her wondrous idea. "WE SHOULD TOTALLY THROW A PARTY!"

The younger troll shot a short look of shock at his brother. "What."

Streamers began raining from the ceiling as music blasted into the room from within the walls. The trolls shielded their ears from the obnoxious music that boomed into the room. Pinkie Pie continued thinking out loud, constantly recounting her week. At one point, she talked about a dream where cupcakes ate rainbow-maned ponies and the occasional murderous thoughts she was having. The two trolls should have been concerned for their life but they heard nothing.

Rainbow and Fluttershy waited at Sugarcube corner as Applejack finished off her batch of explosive-but-delicious pies.

"The pies are find to eat but...Just don't eat the black thing in the middle. Don't even touch it." Her orange hoof hovered over the landmines baked into the pies. "Seriously thought, don't bite 'em."

Rainbow rolled her eyes, "Yeah, we get the message. After all, I gave them to you." She threw the pies into a saddle bag and dragged Fluttershy to the castle far in the night sky as Applejack began abseiling down the beanstalk with a crude rope.

The trolls snuck into their kitchen as Pinkie began explaining the importance of turtles stirring bowls of punch.

The elder troll opened the fridge, looking for a beer to pacify his qualms. "That pink pony is quite the annoying one."

The younger troll replied as he shamelessly ate a jar of cookies, "Quite the annoying pony indeed. I believe there is only one way to combat this foe, Brother."

The troll pulled back from the fridge in shock, "You can't possibly be suggesting...The Elder Method?!" He slammed his clenched fist into the marble counter-top. "You swore to me and your country that you would never use such a primitive method!"

"I'm sorry Brother; desperate times call for desperate methods. That pink pony is just too great an adversary for us."

"I'm afraid that I have to agree with you." He downed a bottle of beer in one go. "It looks like we will have to resort to our lowest form of combat: Trolling."

The two troll brothers lumbered into the room. "What the...?"

Their living room had been redecorated in a less-than-elegant way; pink streamers covered the walls and ceiling, gigantic cakes sat on their coffee table, headache-inducing music boomed from an invisible gramophone and their familiar candle-lit room was now lit up by coloured lights. Both trolls eyed the pony; she stallioned (manned) a giant cannon that seemed to fire party decorations as it teleported around the room.

The elder troll stared in awe. "This pony defies all logic..." her murmured.

"Okay that's it. I've had enough. Time to bust out the big guns."

Pinkie turned to face the troll brothers. "HI! I'm Pinkie Pie and I threw this surprise party JUST for YOU! Were you surprised! Wereyou, wereyou HAH HAH HAH?!" she yelled from the floor.

"Very surprised!" the elder troll exclaimed, his brain secretly craving cake. "It's not scientifically possible for you to set this party up!"

"Well duh! When I throw parties for my friends, I have to do the impossible to make them happy! And since you aren't happy, I thought you didn't have any friends! And if you have no friends then you must be lonely. And that made me sad...And that gave me an idea! Which is why I threw you this fantasticker than fantastic party JUST FOR YOU! So now you can be friends with me! And since I'm friends with EVERYPONY in Ponyville, then you can have LOTS and LOTS of friends!"

The elder troll was shocked; despite the speed she had said that, she didn't look like she was tired at all. In fact, her smile was clearly visible to the trolls.

The elder troll eyed the cake before remembering what the pony said about making friends. "Oh dear...And just when we thought she couldn't get any worse..." He turned to face his brother, "What should we do-"

His brother had left the room. "Oh dear..."

The elder troll fell into his ribbon-covered recliner, trying to ignore the pink pony's incessant talking. She stopped when his younger brother came charging into the room with a giant club.

"Yer' goin' dawn!" he yelled.

The elder brother raised his head. "Correct your grammar," he said with an annoyed tone, "At least TRY and be civilised."

"SHART AWP BRUTHAR! Dun't teel we woot ta do! And YOU! PINK PONY! AR GOIN' DAWN!" he hollered while waving club around.

"That's not very nice! Oh well! The cake is still super-fantastic!" She ate the troll-sized cake in a single bite.

"SHART AWP!" He slammed his club into the pony. A slight splat was heard. "GAWT YAR!" Pink cake dripped off the end.

He yelled in frustration, "WHERE DID YOU GO PONY!"

Pinkie floated up to the face of the troll, her hair beginning to deflate. "CLUBS ARE FOR HITTING PINK-PONY-SHAPED PINATAS! NOT! PINK! PONY! SHAPED! PONIES!"

She rolled up her imaginary sleeves, the antics of her regular mind still clinging on before her insane half took over completely. "YOU ARE GOING DOWN MISTER!"

"O RLY!" the troll yelled out.

The elder troll put is forehead into his palm as he watched the scene, "This couldn't get any worse."

Just before he was knocked unconscious, he could have sworn pies flew in through the windows.

As the dust in the room settled, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew in through the giant hole they crafted in the wall. "PINKIE! WHERE ARE YOU!" they both yelled out into the abyss.

"MOAR PONIES! WE MEET AGAIN!" came a voice. A club followed and tore down what was left of the wall, opening the giant living room to the night sky.

"Who are you?" Rainbow put on a funny face.

"YOU SHOULD GU AND JOOMP OAF A CLIFF!"

"Ok. This just got personal." Rainbow rolled up both imaginary sleeves before charging towards the troll. Suddenly, a club fell from the air and knocked the troll unconscious.

Pinkie Pie floated into the moonlight. Her coat was noticeably darker, even in the night and she equipped a giant club. "THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR NOT WANTING TO BE MY FRIEND!" she spat at the troll's twitching body.

Fluttershy slowly approached Pinkie, "Pinkie Pie? Is that...you?"

"NO! THE NAME IS! PINKAMENA! DIANE! PIE!" Fluttershy rapidly retreated to the safety of Rainbow Dash as the club in Pinkie's hoof melted into a silver liquid before rematerializing as a large knife.

"And you sir, will be MY! FIRST! VICTIM! IN THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY NINE YEARS!" She flew towards the troll with a flame in her eyes. Rainbow and Fluttershy turned away and covered their ears as Pinkamena destroyed the troll.

The elder troll slowly recovered from his unconscious state. "What in the world?"

He found himself bounced to a chair by giant handcuffs, "OH, COME ON! SERIOUSLY?! REAL MATURE!" He scanned the room carefully, trying to make sense of his location.

"Wait...wasn't there a hole in the wall...right...there?" His eyes darted around the room looking for something familiar. Only a single light hung from the ceiling, illuminating a ring around his chair. "Oh no...I'm in the basement aren't I?"

A cold voice answered from just beyond the reach of the light. "Right you are..."

The voice sounded strangely familiar. It sounded like the pony from before except it sounded a little bit tortured. "Um...Are you that pony from before...? Smankey Sie? Swanky Pliers? Wait no...Pinkie Pie?" He squinted, trying to get a better look at the figure in the shadows.

"Correct again..." A pink hoof came into view. "Do you know why you're here?" A blade scraped against the concrete of the basement floor. It was odd how despite the troll's gigantic size compared to the pony that he could still hear everything. The thought of it sent a chill down his spine.

He swallowed his fear and answered with a shaky voice, "Um...No?"

"BECAUSE YOU WOULDN'T BE MY FRIEND!" The pony leapt from the shadows and sealed the troll's mouth shut with miles of duct tape as a blur.

Pinkamena tossed the duct tape away and walked on her hind legs up and down the chained left arm of the troll. Her hooves were icy-cold.  The blade in her hoof liquefied and solidified as a scalpel.

"You know, centuries ago, I was once a powerful demon, sealed into this body no more than 20 years ago. Despite the appearance, this body has powers beyond any I could imagine. I can do things like this."

The scalpel began rapidly changing into many different weapons before finishing off as a scalpel. "Or this."

She flew before landing where she had taken off.

"Or what I enjoy most...this." Chains materialized out of thin air and flew in tight circles around the troll, restricting every part of the troll's body.

Muffled screams came from the troll's mouth as the blade in got closer to his face.

The wails of the troll only lasted minutes.

Rainbow trotted impatiently around Fluttershy who was helping herself to a slice of cake. "What do you think is taking Pinkie so long? I know a party for a troll would take a while but, we really have to hurry up!"

"I-I-I don't want to know what Pinkie does." She stared at the door to the basement. "She can get scary sometimes. Remember the surprise party we threw for her two years ago?"

Rainbow remembered it clearly. Pinkie was a completely different Pinkie; she had straight hair, a darker coat and a different personality. Only minutes earlier, Pinkie had straight hair, a dark coat and a different personality; she would never yell at Fluttershy. "Oh sweet Celestia that can't be good," she said aloud.

"What can't be goo-"

Rainbow Dash performed a Sonic Rainboom as she darted towards the door to the basement.

"Rainbow Dash! Where are you going?!" Fluttershy yelled. Her yelling had clearly improved since the Best Young Fliers competition.

"NO TIME TO EXPLAIN!"

Just before Rainbow made contact with the door, Pinkie Pie hopped out as her usual self.

"OH NO! PINKIE GET OUT OF THE WAYYYYYYYY-" Rainbow slid down onto the cold floor. "Owww..."

Rainbow found herself collapsed on the floor after ramming into Pinkie with the speed of a Sonic Rainboom. "Oh Dashie! Are you loco in the coco? You can't go to a party you aren't invited to silly! Lalalalala!"

She bounced away cheerfully humming a tune as Rainbow twitched.

Rainbow whacked the three stars above her head that indicated she was stunned before flying beside Pinkie. "What about the troll? What'd you do to him?"

"Oh silly Dashie, weren't you listening? I threw a party for him! He's so happy, he fell asleep!" Pinkie apologised to Fluttershy.

"Okay then..." Rainbow shot one last glance at the door, curious about what had really happened behind the giant cherry-wood door, before flying away with Fluttershy and Pinkie.

Rainbow and Fluttershy flew Pinkie back to Ponyville as the storm clouds began dissapating. The bell tower rang ten times as they planted their hooves into the mushy ground.

Twilight stood impatiently with Rarity and Applejack at the base of the beanstalk, sheltered by a giant purple umbrella with Rarity's cutie mark printed on it. "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!" yelled Twilight.

Rainbow put on a sheepish look. "We had to take a slight...detour..."

She shot a look at Pinkie who was busy stuffing cupcakes into her mouth. "There were still cupcakes at Sugarcube Corner. Right?"

"Mhm. We found a jar of rainbows that someone left at Sugarcube Corner and poured it all over the cupcakes! And Rainbow was all like, 'Pinkie, isn't that too much?' and I was like, 'It's GOOD!' so then I ate all the cupcakes and drank all the rainbows! Uh-oh." Pinkie leapt into the air, crossed her legs and put her hooves over her crotch.

"Be right back." She was a blur of pink as she flew towards the toilet in the library.

Twilight's eyes followed the pink pony that sped towards the library. "O...K...then...Anyway, let's get going! TO THE LIBRARY!"

Twilight threw a hoof into the air, gesturing her friends towards the library.

Celestia observed the long abandoned mines of the Eternity Mountains. A black gem glistened in some of the rocks. She used her magic and harvested six rocks. "That Discord will pay for what he is going to do to my student."

Discord continued to inhale the power the gems leaked once more before feeling the Spirit of Laughter heading towards the library. It had been almost ten hours since he escaped and it was about time they returned. He set the Elements all over the library before teleporting away.

He snickered as he thought, "If I can only cause a little chaos, I could at least get some when the dragon takes the heat."

-End-

Plot development is beginning to dig itself a grave because of me. Cheers.

UPDATE: I promise I'll release Chapter 6...Sometime within the next year.