Spike: The Unwilling God of Chaos
Havok's Rest Day
Previous ChapterHavok sipped at a cup of Coffee that was pitifully small yet never seemed to run low as he lay in his sick bed, needing to rebuild his power after having died and revived, his team had threatened to go on strike if he didn't take sick leave, and since she was still second in command Havok had given Sweeite full administrative rights to run the next game however she saw fit.
Now on something of a vacation, Havok let Lars have a taste of his drink before the Manticore continued gossiping about Saddie, Havok was introduced to the fact that Manticores worked quickly as Lars and Sadie were already planning a honeymoon location, "I'm sure Fluttershy would love to host you two at her sanctuary for a few weeks," Havok assured Lars, "Just make sure to ask in advance, oh and you have to have a wedding if for no other reason than so we can have an excuse to make a massive cake, can you eat cake? Eh who cares I'll just make it so you and Sadie can eat cake just to be safe,"
With Lars doing a fine job of keeping Havok entertained Shade and the rest of Team Chaos gathered with their thrones, Havok's throne was parked next to Luna's honorary throne as they began their important meeting.
"Starlight just seems like the obvious choice," Vile argued, "Nothing wrong with that but I feel like we could do better, We should hold an audition!"
"Easier said than done," Storm snorted, "We'd all have to pick a candidate and then judge them, and we'd all just pick our candidate as the winner, I vote we just hold off on replacing Twilight in the main roster until Havok's feeling better, and then we all laugh at Vile when he picked Starlight,"
"We're not denying he's going to pick Starlight," Shade confirmed, "cause duh, come on Vile be better," Vile responded to the hate with the most exaggerated pose he could before flopping out of his throne onto a fainting couch, earning a sold laugh from Shade as he spoke in an overly pathetic voice.
"You're all just too basic for my visions," He declared, "I bet you all like Pumpkin Spice in your coffee," he earned a few chuckles before having his throne pick him up and return him to his seat, the fainting couch fading away as he did so, "Anyway, jokes aside you pick a prank yet Shade?"
"No," she said with a huff, I love this Pinkie Curse, but it just seems like it could easily get out of hoof. Turning all the water into Jello just sounds like we're reaching, It's funny, sure, but what would even be the game?" Shade began looking through prank ideas that had already been agreed upon by the group and let the entire group pick ideas to see if any seemed fun.
"Turn Equestria into a Comic book," She muttered, "No we can't do that one without Havok,"
"Ogeres and Obituaries Real-Life addition," Vile shook his head, "No that one was Spike's idea,"
"Canterlot the Water-We already did this one who forgot to shuffle the deck," Rust looked around suspiciously as Rot picked a card.
"Swap-a-palooza," Rot looked at the card for a moment before checking the back, "no...nope that's all it says, what was this one again I feel like I voted for it,"
"Swap-a-palooza?" Shade muttered as she and the other members tried to rack their memories on what it was. "Oh dangit! That one requires Twilight to play," The entire group let out an initiated moan, having to deal with the fact they couldn't use one of Spike's or one Spike would love and had to be a team of five versus five since Twilight was banned and the backup squad was now down a member due to Bulk Biceps putting in his resignation during the last game.
"There has to be at least one!" Shade began looking through the deck, handing off any to Rust that were old pranks they had already used. "Ok, here we go!" Shade held up a few cards that met their criteria and the group looked over the options.
"Curse of ReGendering," Vile muttered, "no, we have to get Thorax's reaction to Female Spike," Agreement was firm across the board.
"I found it," Rot Cheered with glee, "The perfect prank, not only will Spike not mind too much about missing out on this one, but it's not for either team,"
"Oh one of our lucky winner pranks," Shade smiled, "Spike didn't seem too thrilled at working with a random team for a prank, so this should work flawlessly, we only made a few, did you have one in mind?"
Rot showed off her card and laughter sounded across the meeting.
"All in Agreement speak over one another!" Shade declared as everyone began talking about random things for a moment.
"-And that's why I don't eat Grapefruit," Vile declared as he was the last to finish and thus the only one who managed to say something that was collectively heard by the group.
"Alright team, hope you all end up with a lovely playmate!" Shade chuckled as she and the rest of team Chaos began working on starting the prank, needing a little more set-up time than Spike to keep it in a confined area.
Celestia and her agents were all gathered in an intelligence hub Blue Blood was going over a map of Equestria, looking as though he had failed to sleep more several days in a row.
"We have confirmed sighting of the element of Loyalty," He said as he used a marker to circle the dragon lands, "We have reason to believe Ember might have it stashed away, we have yet to confirm if she knows what it is but we have confirmed reports she recognized it was enchanted as it currently trying to use its power with the Dragon Lords Scyeptor,"
Blue Blood wiped at his forehead, his eyes seemed to be having trouble staying in focus, and he looked dangerously close to falling ill due to his poor self-care following the Chaos Carnival.
"Following this, we have no confirmed sightings of it, but words are Thorax has Kindness somewhere in his Hive, we just need...um...to send a team to inspect it," Blue Blood's eyes grew hazy as Bon Bon and Spitfire forced him to take a seat.
"We're still missing the other three still intact," Celestia noted, before turning to Blueblood and patting him on the head. "But they can wait, you need sleep and you need it yesterday,"
"So much to do," Blue Blood replied sleepily, "So little time,"
"I'm afraid my search has come up empty," Bon Bon informed Celestia with a disappointed sigh, "Unlike Blue Blood and I, Spitfire has a civilian identity that requires a lot of work to keep under wraps so I doubt she found much,"
"Barely have time for this meeting," Spitfire replied as she tried to get Blue Blood to drink some water, the unicorn's magic failing him as he lay sluggishly in the chair. "Maybe it's time Blue Blood tried for a less bratty personality, I'm sure we could craft a believable story for his bratty character to have some character growth, having everyone hate him must be eating away at him, even if only a little,"
"That's a problem for later," Celestia told her follower, "We have a lot of things to deal with,"
"I'm sorry," Bon Bon cut in suddenly, Celestia could tell her apology was not in response to her words, Celestia motioned for her to continue, "I didn't make time today to talk about elements and what not, I heard some unsavory rumors and just...needed to hear confirmation," Celestia sighed, knowing what Bon Bon was going to ask before the question came out. "Is it true Princess Twilight tried to kill Havok?"
"It is," Celestia made a face that sent a shiver down both Spitfire and Bon Bon's spine, it might have sent one down Blue Bloods but he had his comfy chair had claimed him and sent him right to Luna's dreamscape.
"Starswirl burning beard," Bon Bon muttered, she remembered when Twilight had first become a Princess and had been tasked with keeping a firm eye on her along with Carrot Top, Bon Bon had liked what she had seen, she had expected great things from Twilight and had even been prepared to become her fulltime Agent when it came time for Twilight to join the other Three Princesses in running the Government, but cracks had started showing recently, and this news was the last crack needed to Bon Bons support to crumble.
"How Disappointing," Bon Bon sighed, Celestia looked over to Bon Bon, knowing full well the mare had been planning to work under Twilight and let her expression soften, even if only a little.
"Of that opinion, we can agree," Celestia gritted her teeth, "But Disappointment is feeling too light of a word,"
"Oh Don't be so mad," Celestia and her two still awake agents turned at the voice as Havok hobbled up to them, parts of his body visibly cracked as he used a cane to keep himself upright, "You won the bet,"
"Are you ok, I mean should you be walking around?" Spitfire demanded, being the leader of Celestia's team, and now knowing Havok was basically Celestia's only son, she, Bon Bon, and Blueblood had been forced to accept that Photo Finishes claim to being a Havok loyalist counted as he was by all means a part of the royal family, meaning it was their job to protect him.
"Oh I'm not real," Havok assured her, "My Real Body is all cuddled up with a Minotaur and an army of enchanted armor, although a lot of them have been damaged in the Pukwudgie war,"
"War?" Celestia shook her head, "Real or not when I tried to contact you, your follower Shade told me you were in no shape to use magic,"
"Eh," Havok shrugged, "I stored this doppelganger here a while ago, although as you probably noticed," The Havok Doppelganger held up one of his arms and it proceeded to start crumbling a little, "It's not fairing well," Havok hobbled up to the map and flopped next to it, "Don't worry about that," He added pointing to the map, "My Team made sure each Element was handed off to a trusting party, although if Ember and Thorax have found out about my attempted murder they might be a tinnie bit mad,"
"Are you sure it's safe to use that?" Bon Bon asked as she inspected Havok's body, which shrugged.
"my real body is sleeping right now, in doing that it's drawing in more magic that this exerts, The body might crumple away but the head should keep together fine, and I just wanted to make sure it was put down here, that way one of you spy guys could get in contact with me if you needed anything, the forest is a little dangerous right now so you should probably avoid it,"
"Yeah, speaking on that what do you mean war?" Spitfire demanded.
"Don't worry about it," Spike waved her off, "My problem to solve, but if you see a floating castle, assume it's mine and we lost the war and ditched the forest," Spike chuckled before adding, "No but seriously that might happen so don't freak out, we're looking at relocation options but with all that's happening it's hard to find a nice open plot of land so it's most likely gonna be Havoks moving castle for a while,"
"I'll warn the Wonderbolts," Spitfire saluted before quickly faltering "Once I figure out how to without giving too much away,"
"Just call it a friendly tip from a chaotic source," Havok smiled, as his arm fell off, "Welp this body's out of juice, don't go killing Twilight just cause she's stupid,"
"I wouldn't kill her," Celestia laughed at the idea, "She'd never learn her lesson from that, no I have other ideas,"
"Ominous," Havok cheered as his eyes started dimming out. "Oops, Time's just about up. Just drag this husk to a corner. I'll properly set it up as a form of communication when I'm back...on...feet. " Havok's eyes flickered off, and the doppelganger swiftly crumbled to dust, save for the upper part of its skull.
Spitfire did as was requested and set the Skull on a side table for later use, Celestia looked back at Blueblood's map before going over to him and using magic to summon a blanket and give him some good coverage.
"Since the elements are confirmed to be handed out to specific creatures, we will just have to wait until Twilight is ready to redeem herself," Celestia turned to board to the opposite side, "Now, I understand Blueblood has been trying to set up his new home in Ponyville for the sake of being closer to Havok for observation, as we have since found out who Havok is, does he still plan to follow through with that?"
"Yes," Bon Bon replied immediately, "Although he is now planning to observe Twilight as well,"
"Good," Celestia turned to the empty board, "Then let's get a map of Ponyville and set up some key points of interest he should keep an eye on, make sure he doesn't kill himself trying to do all the setup alone in his room,"
Author's Note
This chapter was originally longer but I decided to cut it into two chapters, so you guys didn't have to wait an age for me to finish it without any updates.
