Fallout: Equestria - Shadow of the Day

by Kaciekk

Chapter 19: Seeking Purpose

Previous Chapter

Steel beams creaked as wind blew through the skyscrapers. As one last favor, the Griffons were allowing the equines to shelter in the garage under their main tower.

“We’ve done enough already,” Julia had said. “We ain’t taking in a bunch of strays. You can handle yourselves. But I suppose I can offer you a roof.”

The wide door rattled as it was pulled open. Sluggishly, SwiftHaze led their group inside. Everyone was exhausted and in pain, and it was getting quite late in the night now. Haze knew the Griffons would want them to leave in the morning, but she so wished to sleep in.

Haze was irked by the Griffons’ lack of hospitality. Yet, at the same time, she had to respect their code. Favors were not free, and the band of mercenaries saw favors as work. This was their business.

They all settled on the cold concrete floor. At least one Griffon had come down to give them blankets. Now, the ponies and Zebras gathered around, waiting for their turn to be treated by Xoqan. Between the team and the edition of three Zebras, their supplies of medicine and food would go fast.

Haze wasn’t sure when she had fallen asleep, but she awoke to the surroundings of the garage. One dim light hung from the ceiling, wavering oh so slightly. Haze was almost certain the tower above them was swaying. That made her feel the opposite of safe.

Not to mention, she awoke with a pounding headache. Lack of sleep? Dehydration? It was like a hangover without the alcohol! She guzzled down as much water as she could along with some painkillers. She sat upright.

GleamingChance was already awake, sitting on his sleeping bag. Haze assumed he was reading by his position, but as she blinked the blurriness away, she noticed he was just staring at his hooves. She sat up.

“You good?”

“Huh?” Chance mumbled inattentively. “Oh. Yeah.”

Haze’s eyes wandered around the garage. Shenzi and Xoqan were both awake. Nobody spoke. Perhaps Shenzi was consumed by the loss of his ally. Yesterday, he had recalled what happened while imprisoned. There were four Zebras on their caravan, including himself. Another stallion was with them, and fell ill when they were brought into the work camp. Due to the conditions, and the slavers’ lack of care, he was overcome by the sickness, perishing.

The pounding in Haze’s head persisted. The rest of her body was feeling achy too. She needed more room to stretch properly. There was a long road ahead that required her wings.

So, she exited the garage, laying the door down as gently as possible. It still made a loud clang. She cringed, and then turned around.

Outside, the alley was cast in the tower’s shadow. However, the sky too was dark with an early dawn. Was it really that early? No way, because she had to have slept in a bit. Or perhaps the clouds hung with awaiting rain.

A flash of color caught Haze’s eye. There, far up in the sky were streaks of bright pink and green. She perked her ears, and thought she could make out gunfire. Among the dark clouds, someone was clashing.

Haze took to the air and scaled up the tower. She found a perch inside a vacant floor. Hoping the extra height would give her a better view, she poked her head out the broken window.

Dark, miniature figures swooped about the sky. Those bright streaks must have been from energy weapons.

Haze shrank back, startled by two wingspans that bounded into the sky, just above her. From the roof were griffons that flew into the battle. Suddenly, it made sense now. It was the Talons fighting Pegasi. The Enclave. The exact reason the Griffons wanted the Skywatcher program to begin with.

Dodging and diving, the Pegasi and Griffons continued on. Haze was able to discern the Enclave’s shots as the glowing streaks. Someone had mentioned once that the Enclave used magical energy weapons, right? Haze couldn’t recall who.

Nor did she have time too. Her attention was caught on a figure descending, just having been struck by a pink laser. A Talon, and they were falling fast. They must have been injured, or perhaps fatal wounded. The Griffon fell behind the skyline, lost to the city.

Anger burned inside of Haze. Those were the people she just helped. And now, her own kind were taking their lives. No wonder the Griffons wanted that program so badly.

The number of Enclave Pegasi began to dissolve. They had fled back above the clouds. The Griffons retreated back towards the city in defeat. Haze waited for them to land on the roof before taking any further action.

Haze wondered why the Enclave attacked the Talons. Well, the answer, so obvious, hit her at the same moment. They were the only true opposition to the Enclave. An aerial fighting force. The Enclave seemed to take the small victories, taking out their enemies one by one to dwindle their numbers.

What was the purpose of all this fighting? What did the Enclave intend to do that required the elimination of the Talons. Why even stay above the clouds, separated from the rest of the population? Haze was troubled by these questions, but couldn’t think where to even start looking for answers.

Just like the Griffons, she retreated below. She returned to the garage.

While her headache was beginning to dim, now her stomach ached with hunger. The night before, Haze was so tired she crashed before she could even consider eating. But the Zebras need to eat first. They need it more than us.

But of course, Haze didn’t want to have to wait that long. Who knew when the Zebra mares would awake. Haze just needed a little distraction...

That’s when she remembered the memory orb they had taken from Stable-Tec University. She was just about to reach for her bag when she realized it was Ray who had stored it. The Earth Pony was still asleep. Haze didn’t want to disturb her, but caught herself before searching through her friend’s bag. She had to prove that she had learned from her mistakes.

Haze gently nudged Ray. “Hey,” she whispered. Ray shifted and gave a peep of discontent. “Can I see that memory orb we found?”

Ray rolled over. She dug her hooves through her bag. Random supplies began to spill out. Tape, tools, bottles of clinking nails, a hairbrush, a wad of bandages, bottle caps...

“Don’t you use the inventory sorting spell on your PipBuck?” Haze asked.

Ray just blinked at her.

“Here.” Haze pulled Ray’s metal foreleg closer to her. She began searching through her PipBuck and showed her how to activate the spell. With it, they were able to locate the memory orb.

“Thanks! I’ll give it back when I’m done,” Haze said. Ray didn’t respond, only nodding.

Once equipped with her recollector, Haze dipped into the memory.

A hoof tapped on a sleek mahogany desk, out of sync with the clock that softly ticked. SwiftHaze’s host took a glance at a terminal screen, then back at the paper they were writing on. Despite its labeling, this was not BlazingFlair’s memory.

No, this pony was a Unicorn, who levitated a pen. Ahead of them was a nameplate with “Dean AgateClef” written on it.

A knock sounded from the door.

“Yes?” Haze felt her host say in a feminine voice.

The door opened to an older orange stallion. He had a ginger beard, but nearly all of his mane was grey and thinning.

“BlazingFlair, come in, come in,” the dean, Agate, greeted. You had concerns about your upcoming exam?”

“Um, yeah. I’m not sure I wanna take it,” BlazingFlair grimaced. He stepped forward, letting the door behind him close.

“Well, it’s required for this course,” the dean put simply. “Overseer training requires more assessments than all other tracks. I’m sure you’ll do just fine on your exam.”

Blazing frowned. “I’m starting to think this track isn’t the right fit.”

“Are you worried you won’t fit in with the younger students? We accept all ages here. And in all honesty, age just means more experience.”

“No, no it’s not that,” Blazing shook his head and held up a golden hoof. “I mean I don’t think I want to become an overstallion anymore.”

“Why? You’ve shown great traits necessary for an overstallion. You said you had a passion for helping others. What has changed?”

“Well for one, training has already taken so much time out of my schedule. I’d like to spend time with my family and my band. And I heard that the overmare for Stable 47 is already chosen. If I were to become and overstallion, I’d be appointed to a different Stable. 47 is the designated Stable for my friends and family. I wouldn’t be able to live with them.”

“I see. So, you seek to drop out? What a shame, I thought you had good potential,” the dean sighed.

“I’m still interested in helping Stable-Tec like I have for the past few years. I just don’t think this whole school thing is the right choice.”

“Well, I’m just a dean, so I can’t control what position you have within the company. But I can send a letter of endorsement.”

“Thank you, dean.” BlazingFlair turned to leave the office. Only halfway through the door, the dean called again.

“Wait!”

Blazing glanced back, giving a perplexed look.

“Perhaps there is something you could do around here. I think you’d make a fine mentor for the younger students. Even if you haven’t completed your training, there’s a lot they could learn from you. And this way, you wouldn’t be here all the time,” the dean explained.

Blazing’s emerald green eyes lit up with interest. “Yes, I think I’d like that. Besides, that gives me more excuses to come back here. Don’t get me wrong, I love Los Pegasus, but Phoenix City is pretty cool too.”

“Perfect. You can be on your way now. I’ll arrange all the details in the coming weeks.”
“Thank you, dean, for understanding,” Blazing smiled.

The dean only nodded her head. Then the memory dissolved.

So BlazingFlair had pursued becoming an overseer, but eventually decided it was not the right path. Haze wondered how this went into his role in Stable 47. Was he a more revered member of the population... besides the fact he was a musician? Did he have any say in the Stable’s affairs?

Haze found it intriguing that BlazingFlair had sought out another career path besides being a musician. Perhaps he wanted to aid society in more than one way, if and when the world did change. Not everyone had to be fixed to their main special talent, which often was adorn on their flanks or displayed in their namesakes.

Once again, Haze emerged to her reality. Everything seemed dimmer, less saturated than in the memory. It was as if she was withdrawing from the Mint-al all over again. The dreariness seemed to be worn on everyone in the room. Now everyone was awake.

To her right was OrchidRays who was stroking her orange hair with a hoof. She seemed to touch it more when it wasn’t braided. To Haze’s left was GleamingChance. He was still staring downward, but instead of his hooves, there was a plate of food on the ground. He noticed Haze moving again. He levitated the plate over to her.

“Here. The rest already got their share.”

“Aren’t you going to eat it?” Haze asked. “It looked like it was yours.”

“It was supposed to be but...” Chance sighed, sounding defeated. “I don’t feel like eating.”

How could he not feel like eating?! Haze was starving! “Well, thank you anyway.” The plate consisted of canned beets, which stained the plate pink, and a stiff croissant, straight from its plastic package.

Haze continued to watch Ray continuously stroke her mane. She let it sling over her left shoulder, where she would have had her braid.

“Do you want me to help you tie it?” Haze offered between bites.

“I can’t,” Ray frowned. “I don’t have a hair tie.”

“Why not use a rubber band?”

“No. I want a hair tie. I don’t like rubber bands,” Ray said.

“You didn’t bring any more with you?” Haze pointed out.

Ray shook her head. “I forgot.”

A few meters over, Shenzi stood up on all four hooves and faced the mares. “I remember passing by an abandoned cosmetic store in the city when we brought our caravan through. Perhaps there would be one there.”

“A cosmetics store does sound like something that wouldn’t already be looted. Oh, and doesn’t sound dangerous for once,” Haze considered.

“Can we go?” Ray begged.

“Sure. As long as Shenzi can show us where it is.”

“I am willing to,” Shenzi said. “But only once everyone is ready.”

Haze nodded and continued to eat.

Chance’s lethargy was beginning to worry her. “Are you sure you’re okay?” she asked him.

“Yeah,” Chance replied. “Just... still tired.”

Part of Haze was certain that wasn’t the case.

“I... we should get our things together if we wanna get moving.” Chance stood up.

Haze’s gaze moved with him, but then fell behind as she spotted Xoqan across the room. He was pressing a cloth to one of the Zebra mare’s forelegs. Haze wondered what he was doing with it. Was it medicine?

“Hey Xoqan,” she spoke up. “I was wondering... do you, or any Zebra, have a cutie mark?”

The young stallion looked at her quizzically. “No. We have glyph marks.”

“What’s that?” Ray said before Haze could.

“They’re in the place of where a pony’s cutie mark would be. But, they don’t exactly tell you what your purpose is. Mine looks like a rose. Not exactly sure what that symbolizes.” Xoqan shrugged. “I think it’s a good thing not to be bound by something that tells you what to do.”

“I don’t think cutie marks really work that way,” Haze brought up. “Sure they can tell you what you’re good at, but it doesn’t have to be your destiny. And... I think there are some ponies out there who get cutie marks like your glyph marks. They aren’t sure what they’re supposed to mean.”

“Are you... speaking from experience?”

Haze sighed. “Yes. I assume my cutie mark means I’m good at flying. Wow, how typical for a Pegasus.” She rolled her eyes, and then stared down at her currently bare flank. A wing, swirled like a mist. Dark like her hair, nearly appearing as a dried blood stain.

“So instead of being told you’re good at something special, you’re told you’re just like everyone else,” Xoqan deciphered what Haze was putting down.

“Yep.”

“That’s like me too,” Ray said. “My cutie mark is a flower. Does that mean I’m good at growing flowers? All Earth Ponies are good at growing flowers.” She looked down, disappointed.

“Huh, that... sucks.” Xoqan wasn’t sure how to respond. “Well, at least it’s not just a Zebra thing. Maybe we just haven’t figured out what our marks mean yet.” His green eyes drifted and rested on Chance. “What about you? What’s your cutie mark?”

“Huh?” Slowly, Chance reacted. “I- um. It’s a compass. I’m good at directions and reading maps, I guess.” He avoided eye contact with anyone.

Xoqan’s ears perked. “Actually that’s a pretty useful talent. I mean, do you know how bad it is to get lost out here?”

“Uh, thanks? I’m glad you think that at least. But really, it’s just another star. Another typical cutie mark for a Unicorn.”

“Hey, don’t sell yourself short,” Xoqan insisted.

Chance turned to face the garage door. He began pulling the chain to roll it open.

“Guess we should get our things together before the Griffons kick us out themselves.”

“But we haven’t even finished eating yet!” Haze threw her hooves into the air.

Chance ignored her and continued to walk outside. The door came rattling back down.

Haze huffed. “What’s up with him?”

Xoqan looked at her with sadness. “Depression. It’s quite a common occurrence out here.”

“But why is he depressed?” Haze asked.

“A lot of the time there isn’t a clear cause. It’s chronic like any physical illness. But unfortunately I cannot heal a mind the same way I can heal physical wounds,” Xoqan explained. His voice seemed to convey regret, as if this was a subject he was all too familiar with.

“Maybe we could cheer him up someway?” Ray said.

“Well, that was part of the reason I was trying to praise him, but the guy can never take a compliment.”

Haze contemplation Chance’s condition. Was there really no cure for his mental illness? All she knew was that she wanted to be there for her friend. Maybe she hadn’t known him for that long, but she did care.

With wheels squeaking through the streets. Pulling the wagon became more burdensome now that there were an added three Zebras, but it wasn’t anything SwiftHaze couldn’t handle. Shenzi had been directing her where to go. Now passed Biltmare, they strolled through the abandoned part of the city.

OrchidRays had been playing her ‘happy’ playlist of music, which surprisingly consisted of very few Linkin Pony songs. Well, I suppose they have songs with positive outcomes, but none that were really cheery and bright. Well... maybe except Battle Symphony. Haze did love that song. She was elated to hear it was on this playlist. She enjoyed the lyrics “If I fall, get knocked down, pick myself up off the ground.” While simple, they made her feel confident.

“Here,” Shenzi said, causing SwiftHaze to halt. To her right was a humble store front. Its wooden sign had fallen off its hinges, which had caused the front windows to crack as it fell. Haze unbuckled and Ray hopped out of the wagon.

“C’mon Chance! Let’s go inside!” Ray cheered.

“I don’t know,” the Unicorn mumbled. “You guys go ahead. There’s probably nothing in there for me.”

“Oh come on.” Haze rolled her eyes. “What if there’s a safe in there? You love cracking locks!”

Chance sighed. “Fine,” but he sounded reluctant. He slowly got out.

“I will stay here and guard our luggage,” Shenzi announced.

Haze nodded and continued to follow Ray into the shop. What she wasn’t expecting was Xoqan to fall in line after her.

“I suppose it would suck to return home without any supplies. I mean, we are bringing back the traders,” he explained when Haze gave him a perplexed look.

“But what are you going to find here?” She questioned.

“I don’t know! But it’s worth looking at.”

They stepped inside. The dust-covered shelves still held some items. It was obvious that nobody had been here for a long while.

Ray began browsing through the hair accessories. Dust that layered the shelves floated to Haze, causing her to sneeze.

“I found some hair ties,” Chance said.

“Oh!” Ray skipped over to where he was standing. “There’s so many colors! Maybe I should get a few.”

“Probably a good idea in case you lose them,” Haze commented.

Xoqan reappeared from the aisle behind them. Objects floated in his dark magic.

“Well, looks like most of the shampoos were already looted. I did find some bars of soap, though.”

“Soap?” Haze echoed.

“Hygienic products can be highly sought after,” Xoqan told her.

“Huh.” Well, perhaps not everyone in the wasteland wanted to be dirty. Although that thought definitely never crossed raiders’ minds.

“Not much else here. I’m gonna check the shops next door.”

Before Xoqan could leave, Chance spoke up. “You should look for perfumes and lotions as well.”

“Smart. Good call.” Xoqan returned behind the other row of shelves. That was able to produce a small, brief smile out of Chance.

Haze moved around her friends and headed for the front desk. She sneezed again as she passed by it. The register had already been broken into, but the terminal had remained untouched, still glowing. Haze approached it.

As she typed, her hooves kicked up dust from the keyboard. She had to turn her head to refrain from getting her sneeze spit on the monitor. Beyond her, Ray sat down and began playing with her mane. She separated it into three sections. Chance stepped up and watched her.

“Want me to help you braid it?” He asked.

“Oh. Okay.”

For a moment Haze wondered how Chance would know how to braid, but then again, she supposed he did have cornrow braids in his own mane. They just weren't as obvious as Ray's single large braid.

Haze couldn't get into the terminal. Too many attempts left her locked out. Of all the terminals she couldn’t get into, it was the cosmetic store clerk’s? Perhaps she was too hasty choosing her options.

She sneezed once more. “Okay, that’s it. I gotta get out of this shop. I’ll be waiting outside.” Haze headed for the door and waved a wing.

Outside, the post-apocalyptic air felt fresh for once. The tickle in her nostrils disappeared. The Zebra mares were still sitting in the wagon. Shenzi stood on the street, keeping a lookout. Something moving down the road caught Haze's eye; round, floating and silver. A sprite-bot? She wanted to investigate.

“I’m going to walk around,” Haze said to Shenzi.

The Zebra stallion dipped his head. “Very well, but be cautious.”

Haze broke into a canter to catch up to the sprite-bot. As expected, the music from the bot stopped abruptly.

“Hello, Haze. I see you have traveled,” the robotic voice greeted.

“Huh, so you remember I existed?” Haze answered. “Wait. I don’t remember telling you my name. How do you know it?”

“I overheard your friends speaking to you.”

“Um... okay. I thought you would have forgotten me by now.”

“That is far from the truth,” Watcher said, lacking emotion.

“Oh yeah? Cause, uh... I kinda forgot you existed myself- until just now.”

“That is fair. It has been getting increasingly harder to access sprite-bots in Los Pegasus.”

“Enclave, huh?”

“Yes, unfortunately.”

“I keep hearing about them, but how come I never see them?” Haze pointed out, skeptical.

“Because that is their goal. At least in the broad term. They do not want to be seen. With lack of surveillance I cannot say exactly what their objective in Los Pegasus is,” Watcher explained.

“Want me to go knock out all the sprite-bots?” Haze suggested, aggressively.

“No!” Watcher quickly shot her down and continued. “I need the sprite-bots so I can examine Los Pegasus. We will have to cut off their access to the bots another way.”

“Why are you so intent on watching ponies anyway?” Haze queried. “Oh, you chose that name on purpose, didn’t you?” She blinked, unamused.

“Did you really think Watcher was my real name?”

“That’s besides the point. Why have you been following me? Why are you looking to spy on others?” Haze pressed for answers.

“It is for a good cause, trust me. I am... searching for ponies to make the Equestrian wasteland a better place to live,” Watcher said.

“Well, luckily for you I’m already working to do that,” Haze claimed and smirked.

“How so?”

“By helping anyone in any way I can.”

“Seems broad. Why exactly are you looking to help others? What motivates you? What do you get out of it?” Watcher asked.

For once, Haze did not answer right away. She pondered those questions.

“I want to figure out my purpose. All my life I’ve never known what I’m meant to do. My cutie mark doesn’t tell me, my name doesn’t tell me. I thought maybe out here I could choose my own destiny. And maybe that’s helping others. Sure looks like they could use it.”

It too took a moment for Watcher to respond. “That’s very bold of you. I do wish there were more ponies like that out here. That is why I must keep searching.”

“And what exactly are you going to do once you find these ponies?” Haze inquired.

“That... I cannot tell. At least not here. We would need a more secure location to discuss that.”

“More secure? But there’s nobody out here!” Haze waved a hoof in the direction of the empty street.

“I’m sorry, we must find another time to speak,” Watcher said.

“But if you can’t access Los Pegasus, how are we going to talk?” Haze exclaimed.

A burst of static crackled from the sprite-bot’s speaker. It began to float away, boasting its oddly cheery music.

Haze grumbled. They do that on purpose, don’t they?

“Where are the others?” Haze asked Shenzi who was still standing by the wagon.

“They are still in there.” He tilted his head back towards the shop.

Haze trotted towards it. Geez, still in there? How long did it take to braid hair? They must have been browsing now!

As Haze entered through the door, the bell above it chimed. OrchidRays and GleamingChance were near the spot she had left them in. But this time it was Ray who was playing with Chance’s mane. His braids had been untied from each other, falling in his face. Each braid had one or two multicolored beads, completely covering his face.

“But you look pretty!” Ray was saying.

Haze snickered at the sight of Chance’s ridiculous hairstyle. “What the fuck,” she snorted.

Ray looked at her. “Chance did my hair, so I did his!”

“I appreciate it, Ray, but I don’t think I can wear this,” Chance said. “I can’t see, and that kind of gets in the way of fighting for my life.”

“Aww,” Ray pouted.

Chance, still sitting on the floor used a hoof to pull one side of his mane out of his face. He saw Ray’s puppy eyes.

He sighed. “Okay. I’ll keep one.”

“Yay!” Ray squeed.

Haze laughed again. “C’mon guys. Let’s get moving”

“Alright. Let me get these off first,” Chance said.

Haze returned outside before she could start another sneezing fit.

“I think we're ready,” she announced to the Zebras. Shenzi nodded to acknowledge her, then went to take his position in the wagon.

While claiming she was ready, Haze truly wasn’t prepared for the long trip ahead. There had to be a faster way to travel, right? Maybe if she wasn’t burdened by the weight of several ponies... of course literally. She wouldn’t want to travel anywhere without her friends. She would just have to brave through the unbearable boredom.


Author's Note

Woops forgot to upload for over half a year! This story still buzzes in my mind but I can't seem to get my hands to type it out! You're awesome if you're reading this message. Much love ~