Equestria's Biggest Princess

by The Psychopath

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1816

After her return, Princess Luna realizes that her sister has become the biggest princess -or any form of nobility for that matter- in Equestria's history. She's going to use her artsy-fartsy to make sure it stays that way.

Luna realizes that her sister has become something of both an idol and a symbol of Equestria since she was -ahem- on forced leave. In fact, Celestia has, perhaps, become the biggest figure in Equestrian history. The moon princess decides that she's going to use her skills in the artsy fartsy to make sure her sister remains the 'biggest' for decades to come by submitting her latest piece to the Professionals' Equestrian Art Contest.

On EqD now too!

Published 2023-02-10 22:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2023-02-10 22:20:02 UTC

Cake Eating Champion 1,001 Years in a Row

Luna stared at the canvas in front of her, looked at her model, then resumed painting. Her sister lay upon a red ottoman with orange-tinted, iron trim, and was currently eating her sixth serving of 'diet' ice cream. Sure, it was the sixth day that Celestia was posing for her sister, but Luna thought differently, and so would her patrons. She was going to have her revenge once and for all! The studying and training in the art of painting were going to pay off, and she herself would have to give a good 'bonus' to the pony who had the courage to train the 'big and scary night princess'.

"You have a great side to this, dear sister," Luna said. She took another glance and grunted before scraping off some paint.

"Thank you, Luna," Celestia said before taking another bite of ice cream.

"I just needed somepony to paint, and who better than my dear sister?" Luna let slip a smirk but quickly covered herself with her wing.

"Something the matter?" Celestia asked.

"Just the fumes from the paint. I'll probably have to cut the painting short," Luna said while pretending to struggle not to cough. "And don't move!" the blue alicorn chastized.

Luna redressed the red curtains wrapped around a brass beam above to hang at four different levels, with two encapsulating the ottoman at its sides. The wood beneath added to the feeling of the same. Luna hoped that her observers would hallucinate the smell of freshly carved and polished wood at the sight of them with all the minute details she was adding. The white alicorn rested her foreleg against a cushy red pillow, making her consumption of treats all the more enjoyable and comfortable. For the two ponies, time was of the essence, however. The annual 'Professional Artist Competition' was in just a few days.

The blue pony shivered when she thought about the first time she entered an art competition. She went into the beginner's competition to get criticism, but wow. She received a lot of it. It was disheartening, but the mare had her goal in mind and pushed on and on until she submitted her work anonymously and saw that it was extremely well received. That's when she knew she was ready and Celestia wasn't. What a sneeeeaky little pony, Luna felt she had become. All for the better.

A few more strokes of the brush were left before Luna dropped it into a water bucket beneath the canvas. "There we go," she said. "I just have to put a few finishing touches on my own, and the art will be ready for the contest."

"Oh, let me see!" Celestia said.

"No, sister." Luna pulled a white cloth from a small table behind her easel and carefully pulled it over her work of art. "It's a secret, even to you."

Celestia puffed up, frustrated. "Come now, sister. It's a painting of me! I must see it!"

Luna shook her head. "I said no, sister," she stated firmly. "Now finish your ice cream while I get what I need to add the finishing touches."

Celestia floated the small glass cup to her face and angrily chomped another piece from her silver spoon while Luna walked away into the art supply closet. The white alicorn inched as slow as possible toward the covered canvas while constantly shooting nervous glances toward the illuminated doorway. Her heart was beating a mile-a-minute and she could feel her fur start to become soaked in sweat. Slowly, carefully, quietly, Celestia started to lift the 'curtain'.

Luna jumped out of the supply closet in hurry. "What's happening?" she blurted out.

"Ow! Ow! Ow!" Celestia shouted. "Make it stop, Luna!" she cried out.

The moon mare shook her head. "I warned you, sister," she started. "You shouldn't have tried to look at the canvas." She watched silently and apathetically as her enchanted paintbrushes kept smacking the white alicorn on the head and hooves and ignored Celestia's cries for help. "Maybe get out. That might work," Luna suggested flatly.

The white alicorn acquiesced and hurried out, allowing the brushes to return to the easel and lose any semblance of an enchantment.

"Hehehheh. You'll see my work soon, dear sister," Luna said before imitating Nightmare Moon's raucous laughter.

Canterlot Castle's entrance had been left open for all visitors. All, regardless of social class, had dressed up cleanly for the occasion. Tuxedoes and stylish dresses were a common sight for the richer ponies, leaving the poorer ones with more modest but still respectable attire. Ironically, despite the needs of the nobility to distinguish themselves, the 'lower classes' were actually more varied and displayed more personality in their choice of wear.

Luna noticed it from a balcony on the third floor. She watched the guards standing on either side of the cobblestone pathway guiding and directing everypony toward the art competition further inside the castle itself. The mare already noticed some talking about how the grass was perfectly trimmed and the statues placed aside the pathway were perfectly well maintained and sculpted. Brown muzzles. Not one of them actually thought anything they said, but today that didn't matter.

The princess cackled silently to herself when somepony knocked on her door. "Princess, it's time!"

"I'll be right there!" Luna answered.

She had put on a blue dress with a white base that gradually shifted into the deep blue of the night sky. Her wings acted as the clouds that hid the stars and the moon thanks to a little enchantment done to the cloth. The silver hoof wear and crown accentuated the color gradation of both her fur and said attire choice, leaving a regal pony behind.

The mare opened the door to a guard who immediately bowed. The further away from her room she was, the louder the castle became. A distant murmur became a white noise became a few voices became a veritable brouhaha of voices mixing together. The ballroom was used for the occasion, and the moon alicorn enjoyed seeing the plentitude of paintings placed on various levels thanks to some tan-colored, wooden podiums placed atop one another. The immense windows that served as the room's walls let in so much light that it was impossible not to see the most minute details of every piece of work.

Several of them were simple self-portraits, others portraits of models. The more grandiose displayed vast scenes with much going on within. A war between the tribes, a train being freed of its heavy cargo by workers, a painting where faces and features could be discerned by the way each individual item was shaped and placed. There were so many that Luna wanted to see, but first...

"Everypony, may I have your attention?" Celestia called out. The voices gradually died out and everypony looked at the white alicorn who was standing on an elevation a step from the ground. She was draped in a gold dress covered in many white sparkling gems. A 'modest' dress by royalty standards. "To see Equstria's art develop along its science is a magnificent sight for me to see. So often has Equestria been swept up in dangers and threats that I worried that we would not develop culturally as a people." She gestured to all the paintings with a hood. "But look at everything you have shown me today. It brings me to tears to see such talented devoted to creativity than destruction or fear." She took a deep breath, and her smile widened. "Today, however, I have something special to present you. As you know, my sister has taken to the arts." The crowd grumbled in response. "She has found the courage to place her first painting in this esteemed competition, and I hope you will see to judge fairly her craft for the work rather than her position." She stepped to the side, revealing Luna's large painting hidden by the white cloth. "Sister, if you will," Celestia invited with a smile.

Luna flew over the crowd and landed softly next to her sister. She glared at the crowd, implying that they were beneath her, but Celestia jabbed her with an elbow, bringing out a weak 'ow' and a scowl.

"Yes. As my sister says: I have made a portrait of her. I have spared no time to add in the most details possible and to bring out the 'inner glow' of my sister." A wide, mischievous grin started growing on Luna's face. "It was tough, grueling work, but I finished in time for you all to admire." She grabbed the sheet with her magic and tore the cloth off violently. "Behold!" she declared.

Many nobles feigning eagerness had already started cheering for Luna's work until they finally saw what had been painted. It was still the scene of Celestia on the ottoman, but she was a slovenly lard whose belly hung off the side of the furniture. Her face was just a protuberance of rolls and undulations, and her hooves didn't even fit her usual golden hoof wear.

"What's going on?" the white pony asked when she noticed the crowd went silent.

Celestia was seen literally stuffing three cakes into an oversized mouth that couldn't handle that quantity of pastry.

"It can't be that good."

Around her were dozens of cakes of various colors, designs, and layer amounts; All of them terrified of the beast that lay in the middle of their assembly.

Celestia's pupils shrank when she gazed upon the work of her sister. She looked at her with a look of utter disbelief while her sister simply gave her the widest grin imaginable.

"I call it 'Cake Eating Champion for a Thousand-and-One Years in a Row!" Luna declared. "In thanks and celebration for the biggest figure in Equestria's history!"

The crowd, unable to hold itself, burst out in laughter when they saw the reaction of the sisters in response to the heavily exaggerated and extremely unflattering painting.

"Stop laughing! It's not funny!" Celestia yelled angrily. It was too late. She lost the crowd. "You!" She pointed tow her sister accusingly.

"It's my revenge, sister!" The moon alicorn cackled maniacally at the reddening mare before her. She dodged a hoof swipe and dove into the crowd while laughing. "Enjoy my work!"

"Luna!" Celestia bellowed in the Royal Canterlot Voice. "Get back here!"

"You don't like being the biggest pony in history?!" Luna laughed.

"When I catch you I'm sending you back to the moon, and this time you're going to stay there!" Celestia shouted. "No! I'll turn you into a moon! Luna!" the white pony screamed.

Her voice ended up cracking from her elevated pitch, causing Luna to laugh even harder and bringing the guards into the fun.

"No need to be such a harsh art critic, big sister," Luna said playfully.

"Aaaaah!"