The Cummy Bandit!

by Flutterpriest

Rating: mature
Tags: Original Character, Porn, Mystery, Fetish, Comedy, Non-consensual, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1129

A Surreptitious Semen Stealer is afoot in Ponyville! It's up to Dicktective Dick Magnum to find this Perilous Penis Pumper and put them to justice!

A Surreptitious Semen Stealer is ahoof in Ponyville! It's up to Dicktective Dick Magnum to find this Perilous Penis Pumper and put them to justice!

WITH HIS COCK!

Includes: Dubious Consent, Blowjobs, Public Use, Way Too Much Alliteration, Jokes

Written for jjrock7H

With help from anonpencil, M00setasm, s0llace who helped with silly names in chat and editing :)

Art by anonpencil

Consider supporting me on Patreon because I'm bad at life.

Published 2021-08-31 19:50:04 UTC
Last updated 2021-08-31 19:50:04 UTC

The Jizzler

The stage was set. Dicktective Dick Magnum was ready to catch his newest target. Tonight, he was after Ponyville’s serial semen stealer, the unidentified Cummy Bandit that has left stallions sleeping in a mild orgasmic daze. It was his job to catch this testicular titillating terror and put them to justice.

The singular common thread in each of the pleased stallion’s wive’s complaints was that the bedside window was open! Plus, it always happened in the middle of the night. Usually while the unsuspecting coomers were sleeping.

He took a deep breath, laid down on the bed, and looked to the open bedside window. Hiding just underneath the window was a set of stocks in which he could catch the semen siphoning sneak as they tried to take advantage of poor old Dick. All he had to do was pull the pin, which was held by a thin, transparent fishing line, and the stocks would slam shut as they climbed in the window.

Dick commended himself on the ingenious plan. It just proved that when you’re dealing with Dick Dick’s Dick, he never comes half cocked.

Now all that was left was to lay in bed, pretend to sleep, and await the infamous Cummy Bandit to arrive.

Dick closed his eyes, but just peeked out to watch the windowsill. He couldn’t help but admit he was excited to see if the Load Looter would leave their mark tonight. Not just because of his rock hard erection, but also because this was totally one of his fetishes.

That was his secret. Everything was Dick’s fetish.

Then, he saw, just in the corner of the window, a shadow of somepony’s head.

‘Oh shit it’s happening!’ Dick thought to himself.

The shadowy figure poked their head in. Dick Magnum smiled to himself. This was it. All he had to do was wait for their hooves to come over the windowsill and then the Cummy Culprit would be the Cummy Captive!

Then their head extended further into the room. And further. And further.

The Cummy Caperer originally had Dick’s interest, but now Dick stood at full attention. This was no ordinary pony. No, she was too tall to be a pony. She was long and bulbous, like a... Dick's head twitched. A giraffe. The girthy grabber was a giraffe!

“Mmm,” a gentle feminine voice whispered. “This looks like a great midnight snack.”

Dick’s dick twitched in anticipation as he felt the hot breath of the Cummy Bandit against his head. His eyes darted to the windowsill. The giraffe’s neck was so long that she was able to suck him off purely by poking her head in through the window! The fearless fetish fiend!

She extended her tongue and deftly wrapped herself gently onto Dick’s cock. And not just the tip, the full length. He did his best to hold in his gasp of pleasure. The way she swirled her tongue across the full length of his dick felt like the sweet embrace of a pony desperate to break her dry spell.

The giraffe’s skill was unparalleled in all of Dick’s years of cocking up investigations. It was as if she knew all of his most sensitive spots, and rather than overstimulating them, caressed them lovingly with her warm, gentle tongue. She massaged his shaft, and he felt himself having to actively resist. He didn’t expect to be overwhelmed so easily by her incredible skill.

His breathing quickened. He actively fought to hold his hooves to his side and pretend to be asleep.

She lowered her head completely over the tip of his cock, and added a whole new warmth and pressure to the sensation. He let loose a gasp of pleasure. The Cummy bandit hummed approvingly.

At this rate, he wasn’t sure how long he could hold it in. This didn’t bode well. How could he catch the bandit at this rate?

He got exactly what he needed, he saw the giraffe close her eyes, becoming fully invested in the moment. She was savoring the taste of his swollen stallionhood. His eyes darted around the room, trying to fight through the sexual haze and think of what to do next. There had to be something, but it was just on the tip of his penis.

That’s when he realized! The head of a giraffe is much larger than their neck! If he closed the stocks in this very moment, the neck of the giraffe would become stuck, and she would be captured!

At that moment, he relaxed. And it was all that the Cummy Bandit needed to claim her creamy prize.

Dick lost himself to the sensation and thrusted forward gently, unleashing a torrent of cum deep down the throat of the unnamed giraffe. She moaned happily in approval of her midnight snack. He moaned at the incredible release of his turgid tremblin tool.

But he had to remain focused. He had her right where he wanted her. And he was ready to claim her ass. Figuratively.

He pulled the string and sprung the trap! The stocks slammed down and the lock clicked shut.

The giraffe pulled off Dick’s dick in an instant to look at the trap she found herself in.

“Hah!” Dick gasped in a wheezy afterglow. “Now I got you right where I want you.”

The giraffe looked from the stocks, to Dick, to dick, then back to the stocks.

“Actually, this is really hot.”

Detective Dick Magnum blinked in surprise.

“Oh, well in that case,” he said.

“This is reporter Runny Rivers from Channel 69, reporting from a rented house where the notorious Cummy Bandit has been captured. I’m here with Dicktective Dick Magnum who captured the Great Girth Grabber.”

In the background, several stallions were plowing the Cummy Bandit from front and behind, still held in the stocks. Plus, a line was forming.

“Well, Runny. I’m just happy everything came together nicely. The Cummy Bandit, also known as Jizelle the Giraffe, has accepted her fine for 100-hours of cum-munity service instead of spending time in horny jail. Then afterward, I believe it’ll just be every Thursday and Saturday night, right?” Dick said, turning to Jizelle.

“MMhhhf!” she gagged in happy affirmation.

“Yeah, the stocks aren’t even locked anymore, honestly.” Dick said to Runny Rivers. “It seems to me that justice was served.”

“Well it sounds like a happy ending for everyone involved!”

The two ponies laughed and turned to the camera.

“This is Runny Rivers, Channel 69, cumming to you from Horny Ridge. Now if you don’t mind, I gotta get in line!”

Author's Note

Consider supporting me on Patreon because I'm bad at life.

Also a massive thank you to everyone in my twitch stream that made this ... thing possible.