Failure, Eternally Retold, Part Three: Morality

Kai and Open walked alone through the sand, having separated from the rest of the group. When Kai had said that he still needed to go to the hidden haven, most of the ex-paladins had opted out. So much of their lives, they had been led to believe that the place itself was evil. They wanted to stay far away from it, especially without the protection of their armor. Open, on the other hoof, was considering that he belonged there. He'd just left his father to die, helped a prisoner escape from their cell, and practically lied to his uncle, the highest authority for good that he knew, shy of the sun itself. Today was his darkest day by a wide margin.

"Is the hidden haven as bad as I was told?" he asked Kai, more than half an hour into their thus far silent walk.

"I don't know what you were told," answered Kai, "I wasn't there. I've never been to the place, myself."

Open raised his eyebrow. "Weren't you an agent sent from there?"

"I came from the Great Library of Gim-Palarcanus. I'm a magic researcher. I just came out here for the sun stone. It's one of ten pieces needed to stop this whole ordeal, and hopefully reverse it."

Open's eyes grew wide at this. "How could my uncle lie to us like that?" He couldn't fathom what was going on. He could always tell when somepony was lying to him, but he had detected no lies from either his uncle nor the prisoner he was escorting across the sand. And yet, their facts were contradictory.

"It's possible that he was so sure that he was right that he wouldn't accept the truth. Being overly-judgmental can easily lead to being deluded."

As the sand turned to mud, Open stopped. Thinking something was wrong, Kai turned to face him. "Something the matter?"

"I wish I could apologize to you for what's happened."

Kai nodded. "I accept."

"I haven't offered it yet."

"I accept it regardless."

"It's not good enough."

Kai furrowed his brow. "Why not?"

Open puffed up his chest and raised his head up as high as he could hold it. "An apology consists of four parts. You first have to feel remorse for your actions. Then you admit your guilt, make a vow to correct your mistake, and finally, follow through with it. If all you do is say 'I'm sorry,' then go right back to what you were doing without trying to fix the problem, it's not only clear that you feel no remorse, but it's an insult in the face of the pony to which you are falsely apologizing."

Kai pursed his lips. "That sounded rehearsed. Were you made to repeat that a lot in your youth?"

"All the time."

Kai nodded. "Well, how about this; we have some time before we reach our destination. You already feel remorse, so that's step one complete. Next is to admit guilt, right? Let's walk, and you can tell me of what you feel you are guilty. We'll take the next step after."

For the next half hour of walking, Kai listened and nodded along as Open detailed the many things he regretted doing in his life. It started with the most recent events, such as the whipping and the burning, then came his lifelong disdain for those who didn't join the spire, particularly those who joined the other subgroups. Finally, he concluded with small, petty things that didn't really require an apology at all. Every single one was aimed at Kai in some way or another, and as biting as the words were, even the small ones, he just kept nodding along until Open fell silent.

"Is that everything?"

"I think so. I can't remember doing anything else that may have conveyed hurt to you."

Kai took a deep breath. "Okay. So the next step was making a promise to repay the damages done, right?"

"How can I possibly repay the damages caused to you by this? That's the problem. If I make a promise that I can't keep, then the fourth and most important part of my apology is worthless. I can't make this right."

"So don't."

Open looked at Kai as if he had just told him to leap off a cliff. "What do you mean, 'don't?' You expect me to just leave things the way they are?"

"With a slight modification," nodded Kai. "You feel remorse for your actions. You regret the pain you've caused me. You've also just left the spire for good, and that means you are no longer bound by what they all think. What you can promise is that you will never do any such harm again to one who is undeserving of it. Preventing further damage can be just as healing, if not more so, than picking up the broken pieces left in your wake. Ponies can recover on their own most times, but that's much easier to do if they don't have to defend themselves from new attacks. You can promise me two things: First, that you will never again harm an innocent, and second, that you will help them recover by simply keeping their problems at bay for a short while. Promise me those two things and follow through with them, and you can consider your apology fulfilled."

For a minute or two, Open considered what Kai had said. With a smile and nod, he made his decision. "I can make that promise. I will do everything in my power to uphold it."

Kai suddenly stopped. "Would you say we're about a kilometre away from the river?"

"I was never a good judge of distance. Why?"

"Because I can't fly up and check with my back torn open like this."

"If it makes you feel better, I can't fly at all."

"It doesn't. Can you see the Equestrian border?"

Open looked up, moving his head in multiple directions, trying for a clearer view. "Barely. I don't have great night vision."

With a nod, Kai changed direction. They needed to head north now. "We're almost where we need to be. Another hour, I think."

Open nodded and followed Kai. "So how do you know where the hidden haven is if it's your first time going there?"

"Your dad told me. He was actually very wise, enough so that he changed my opinion of you. Up until you tried to set him free, I thought you were just some brainwashed brute."

Open said nothing. He'd been called that before by ponies he'd captured and beaten, and even a few that he'd killed. Twenty-four hours ago, he would have vehemently disagreed. Now, however, he was considering that they may have been right, at least partially.

They arrived at a chasm and found a thin path to walk down. Kai went first, and made sure to go slowly. He was still a bit wobbly on his hooves, and the walkway was unforgiving. If he fell off here, with no use of his wings and nopony to catch him, he would go all the way to the bottom. The sudden stop would be his end. He had to step slowly and deliberately.