Red's First Date

Red looked up at the clock tower. There were still a good four minutes before eight o' clock, the time they'd agreed to meet here. He didn't want to arrive late, because that would only make it seem as if he didn't care, or worse, that he'd forgotten about their date. He was not about to flake, or seem the type to leave somepony high and dry. Especially not on the first mare who'd ever given him the time of day.

As the sun set over the western horizon, he looked up and down the street. It took him a few glances, but he saw her mane in a crowd coming from the south. There was no mistaking it; the bright violet , the vibrant red, the deep blue, and of course, the tall spikes rising up off of her neck. There could be no question.

Suddenly, Red cursed himself. While showing up late would have proven him untrustworthy, showing up too early was worse because it made him seem desperate. What's worse, he hadn't brought her any flowers. It was customary on your first date to bring flowers for your sweetie, and he hadn't picked any up.

In a panic, he thought about running to the nearest flower shop and picking up a bouquet, but he had no idea what she liked. There was the standard long-stemmed roses, but that was perhaps a bit too much. Carnations were nice, but this wasn't a high school dance. A lot of mares liked daisies, but if he presented them to her, she'd think it was a comment on her weight. Daisies were very fattening, it would be like giving her a box of chocolates. He'd be a real piece of work if he inferred that she was too thin.

As he was wracking his brain for some way of presenting himself to her without being incredibly insulting, something grabbed his shoulder. He jumped five feet in the air and yelped at the shock, then realized what had happened. "M-ms. Bluebonnet. Sorry, I was..." he didn't quite know how to finish that sentence, as he didn't know how to explain what he was doing without coming off as some kind of weirdo.

"You can call me Lupine," she smiled. "I'm off the clock, so we can forgo the formalities. Are you feeling alright, or did you want to reschedule?"

"I'm fine," he lied. "I'm not nervous at all. Why would I be nervous? That's ridiculous. Heh, heh..." He fidgeted with his hands a bit.

"I never said you were," she smiled. "And even if you were, that would be okay, you just need a cup of coffee to ease that burden. And hey, you're in luck, as that's where you're taking me tonight. Are you ready to go?"

With a tentative nod, Red took a step to the east, then immediately tripped over a cardboard box that had been placed there while he was having his meltdown. He was prevented from impact with the pavement by a rather burly stallion with a big, bushy beard. "S-sorry."

Lupine covered her mouth and chuckled before walking up to him and helping him back to his feet. "Come on, let's go."

They didn't encounter any more incidents on their way to the coffee shop. Red's right hand was shaking and sweating wildly the whole way there, but his left was cool and calm in hers. As they placed their orders and sat down, Red looked into her eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't pick up a bouquet for you. I wasn't thinking."

She waved her hand. "Don't even worry about it. I'm a florist, I see bouquets every single day. Now, I might have given you a recommendation on what you might pick out for a different marefriend, but for now, don't worry about the flowers."

Red twiddled his thumbs a bit. He felt a little better. "So, you're a florist?"

"I'm a florist. And what do you do for a living?"

Red took a deep breath. "I never made it as a wise man. I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing. And when you combine both of those, I guess it's no surprise that I was caught raiding the pantries of Canterlot Castle. Multiple times, actually."

"So you're a thief?"

"No, not anymore. I've cleaned up my act a bit, I tried mercenary work, and right now I'm just doing odd jobs here and there. However, the princesses did set me up with a place to live, so I'm definitely grateful for that."

"That would explain why you were wearing a carpentry belt when we first met."

"I, uh... I just came back from building a gardening shed. Some lady wanted one behind her cottage."

"And what did you do today?"

"I put the window in, and added shingles to the roof. I'm supposed to paint it tomorrow."

Lupine nodded. "Sounds like varied work suits you. I suppose that's better than monotony, though my brother would disagree."

"You have a brother?"

"Oh, yes. He likes his sedentary life, actually. He thinks it's a far better idea to do the same thing every day. That way, you always know what to do, because it's the same thing you did yesterday. No confusion, no tricks--"

"And no joy from finding something better. I don't think I could stand having a job like that. It'd just feel like I was some sort of machine."

"I don't know how he keeps from going crazy. I could never do that."

As they shared a chuckle, Red noticed that he no longer felt as self-conscious as he had half an hour ago. He was calming down, and things were going well. He was confident that she was starting to like him, and that was making him feel better about himself.

That wasn't going to fly with Gelu. As the waiter was on his way with their drinks, she cast a quick spell to raise the lip of the rug so he would trip, spilling his tray of drinks onto Red's nice, clean clothes. That was sure to make a scene.

Certainly, a scene was caused, but it did not go according to her plan. The drinks were not spilled, Red's clothes were not ruined, but the waiter did trip over the rug. The tray of drinks fell harmlessly onto the next table over, and the waiter collapsed right into Red's lap, knocking over his chair. They were now both on the ground, the waiter's hips pressed against Red's buttocks, his hands on Red's chest, and their lips pressed firmly together. Umbra had to hold on tight to the tree branch he was sitting in, as he was holding back a hard laugh in response to the bedlam he'd caused.