Red's First Date

Red had been apprehensive at the beginning of the night, justifiably so as the opening hour of their activities had been wrought with egregious issues that had caused him no end of shame. However, with the change in venue, things were going well, and he was starting to relax a bit more. His worries were fading, and his smile was less and less forced, slowly turning more genuine.

"I had no idea there were so many different Nightshades," smiled Red. "You know a lot about flowers."

"It comes with being a florist," chuckled Lupine. "You work with flowers for a few years, it's natural to pick up some things. Usually, it's the stuff you check for several times, at which point you stop looking it up because you know for certain. Repetition makes for easy memorization."

"It's the same with mercenary work. You start to find constants mixed in with your variables, and you become more proficient with your work. Very interesting stuff to think about."

"Here we are," smiled the waiter, with seven other members of the waitstaff right behind him with big smiles. "Are you ready?"

Red looked at the collection of ponies just off the side of the table. He thought it odd that they were all looking at him, and questioned how many ponies the owner thought it took to deliver a burger and a salad to the same table. He'd seen other restaurants have one waitress deliver eight meals at once to two tables pushed together, and while he thought that was a bit much for just one waitress, she'd pulled it off just fine. Eight for just the two of them seemed excessive in the opposite direction. "I... guess?"

"Yeah, I think we're ready to eat," smiled Lupine nervously.

The waiter turned around, picked up the salad he'd brought and placed it in front of her, in a completely normal and respectable manner, as is expected of a server in a restaurant. With a sly smile, he turned around and grabbed Red's plate.

"TWO! THREE! FOUR! HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, FROM ALL OF US TO YOU! WE WISH IT WAS OUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE COULD PARTY TOO!"

Red almost leaped out of his chair, yelping in shock as the waitstaff started bouncing and singing ridiculously loudly, clapping and honking little clown horns. He'd been brought what was called a single-serve cake, but was enough for four to six ponies.

"HAPPY HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAY ALL YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE! WE WISH IT WAS OUR BIRTHDAY, SO WE COULD PARTY, TOO! WOO!!!"

With the final bounce of the waiter, Umbra, looking in from outside the window, put a bit more kick into the waiter that was holding the cake. It left the platter, sailed through the air, and came down on Red's face, covering him in yellow cake crumbs and pink icing.

The waitstaff quickly dispersed from the accident, excepting the waiter who'd dropped the cake, who was frozen in a bit of shock. He didn't know how he could have been so clumsy as to drop the cake, but he had. This had never happened before, in the entire history of the restaurant. Before he beat a hasty retreat, however, he moved an extra napkin dispenser over to their table.

Red found himself about to cry, and was a little bit glad that she couldn't see his face as clearly. All he'd wanted out of tonight was a pleasant coffee and dinner with a nice mare. He felt that wasn't too big an ask, but the world just didn't seem ready for him to have it. He slumped down in his seat. He looked and felt like a loser. At this point, he just wanted to pay for their meal and go home.

"You have a little something on your nose, there," came Lupine's voice. As cake dripped off his eyebrow, he looked up to see her smiling kindly and offering him a napkin. "I don't know if you noticed."

"Thank you..." Red's voice cracked a bit as he took the napkin and wiped his face. He didn't clear even a quarter before the napkin was full.

"I'm glad you didn't just run off this time," she smiled, preparing more napkins for him. "If you're truly upset by this, we'll call off the date now, and we can try again some other day. This just isn't your night, is it?"

"It's not even my birthday," whimpered Red. "It's not for months." He paused as he picked up the candles. "They thought I looked forty-six?"

Lupine shook her head. "That's not a six."

"Forty-nine?" Red dipped his head. "I'm only in my mid-twenties. I don't look that old, do I?"

She shrugged. "When you're all covered up, I can't tell. You looked fine earlier."

As Red wiped up the last big glob of cake, he dropped the napkin on the platter the cake was delivered on and pushed it aside. He didn't even want to think about it right now. "You know I didn't order a birthday cake, right?"

"You wanted a burger and fries. I remember."

"That's what I really wanted. A mushroom burger with a nice, crispy side of hay fries. I feel as if..." he looked down despondently, "I'm losing my only dream. I could use some guiding light; some place to go."

Lupine pushed her plate into the middle of the table. "Would you feel better if you had some cucumber inside of you?"

"Oh, no," Red said, wiping his face. "I couldn't just take your meal away just because things aren't going well for me. Just because I'm having a bad night doesn't mean I have to ruin yours to make up for it. Don't worry about me."

"Nonsense. We'll split it. I don't mind. Besides, it would be all kinds of rude if I just sat here and ate in front of you. You're having a bad night, I'm not going to make it worse for you."

Red smiled and wiped his face one last time. "You'd do that for me?"

"It's just a bit of bad luck. It'll pass. It's not like you intended for all of this to happen."

Despite everything that happened, she was right. He'd not planned for any of these terrible things to happen. It was beyond his control. It was as if there was some malevolent force outside of his perception, playing with the odds to his detriment. He wasn't that far off from the truth with this thought, either.