Chapter one : The dream
She was beautiful as always, the mare that sat in front of me. She was a sky blue Pegasus that had a dark brown mane and tail. I looked into her large emerald green eyes drinking them in as much as I could, fearing that this might be the last time that I could, and sadly I knew that it such case now, because I relive this moment every night as the nightmare.
I tried to block out the dream but my body and mind acted against me continuing to reenact the events. I looked at the mare as she looked away shyly, rubbing a hoof against the gold, the tears filling hers. engagement band as she looked at me in line, eyes pain and she opened her mouth to speak a cracked emotional wave coming with it, along with a forced smile.
"So moonlight, how is school in the Canterlot going? '' I smiled as I answered , doing my best to not sound as stressed and tired as I was. "It's going well, I try my best with magic But I can be hard sometimes!” as I spoke I pointed the hoof to the horn on my head and the small chipped missing piece at the tip.
I Shivered as I pushed down the memories that tried to resurface, I shoved them back and looked to my marefriend "How is collage in Cloudsdale going" I saw her tense both mentally and physically at the mention of her schooling, more tears filling here eyes, I moved into comfort her as best as I could wrapping my forelegs around her.
She in turn, leaned into the embrace wrapping her wings around me in turn and let loose a dam of tears and stress that she had been keeping in for a while now. As she cried there on my Shoulder I thought back to what had brought us to this.
It was her second to last year in college, that in itself is more than enough stress for any pony truthfully, on top of that we had a long distance relationship, as she went to cloudsdale and I in Canterlot.
we sent as many letter we could as fast as the mail would allow, and while it was stressful to be sure, we made it work, we truly loved one anther, and on that years heartwarming eve I proposed with a simple gold band, saying after school if we could get married and carry on with our dreams
I will never forget that day as long as I live even with all the pain that It brings. We continued pushing on, always happy to have each other, until tragedy struck and my beloved Fiance's grandfather died suddenly.
She didn't take the news well, as the man had always been like a second father
to her. It was this with all the other stress that broke her and she fell into depression that I could do nothing about, please believe me when I say that I tried. I tried So hard for three months to understand and help her even a little but nothing worked
I tried so hard to get her to smile again even if Just a little, every attempt was met with a fake mask and failure. Soon I couldn't take it and started to blame myself for not being good enough to help her, for the first time I felt completely powerless as our relationship, our way of life fell apart in my hoofs and was put off to the wayside.
That brings us back to today as the two 'of us sat at one of the many rapped off edges of Canter lot crying into each other. I felt as if my mare friend dried her tears and got a firm grip of her emotions. She let her wings drop to her sides and pulled away slowly.
"I.... I'm so sorry" she tried to sputter out as she kicked around a small pebble.
I pulled myself to close to her trying to comfort my loved one "never apologize for that" I whispered in her ear" I will always be there if you need me" I gave her a small peck on the cheek "no matter what"
The comfort I hopped to provide was dashed by more tears as the mare backed away from me. "That's just it," she said. Sadness Soaked into every word as she slid the wedding band from her foreleg and placed it on the ground in front of her stepping back further.
"I can't be with you anymore" she looked away with shame and fear as my brain locked up for the millionth time it seemed like, even after all the times I got to relive this event it never hurt any less.
"Wha... what do you mean'' I asked shakily, doing my best to comprehend what was happening she put on the most genuine fake smile I had ever seen from her as she choked out her words
"Moonlight I am so, so, very Sorry but I just feel as that I don't have enough time for, well us anymore'' a sob and tears freed themselves from her mask "and I don't want to keep leading you on anymore then I have, I love you too much to keep hurting you"
my brain was play keep up as she spoke trying to process everything that was happening "It's not you" she said containing "I promise you, that you have done nothing wrong" she stepped forward to place a hoof on my back "and whatever mare come after me will be the luckiest-in the world.
In the end I let her know that if I had tried to get her to stay I would have done nothing but stress her more “if this is what you believe to be best then I will support you the best I can '' I remember telling her in a few moments I could control my emotions.
It was her leaving me alone at the edge of the Canterlot city that my brain finally caught up to the real world as I tried to put on a brave face. The words of my grandparents playing in my mind 'If you truly love someone let them go' I never understood what that meant till that day,
Because it was on that day, that very day that I let my life fly away in front of my eyes, I let her leave so that she could heal and be happy.
It was her happiness that came at the cost of, well, everything. I watched as I took the gold band in my magic, carried it over to the edge of Canterlot and dropped it. Then I sat and watched it fall out of sight slower than it had any right too, watching as my happiness fell way and disappeared into the nothingness that now sat bellow my dream scale of Canterlot gone was the beautiful first and mountain base that one could see from the edge, replaced with a dark void that seemed to go on for all of eternity, an emptiness that not even the princess would want to explore.
It was at this point the dream usually ended and I would wake up to the real world and all its colorless glory, But this time it was different. I was more aware of the dream than ever before as I looked over the edge into the void, hearing as it called out to me. It called out to me in a voice of the angels that I knew dared not tread within its pits, and for just this once I answered, it was only a dream after all, I couldn't die here as I could in the real world I thought as I pulled myself over the rope and let myself drop closing my eyes as I did.
The feeling of falling weightless over took me as my body was pulled to the void, the fear that I thought I would have felt wasn't there, replaced only with the sadness that the sky blue wings that once saved me from such falls were no longer there to save me again. It was a quick as the feeling came that it disappeared as it landed on something soft and fluffy and with a sigh I opened my eyes expecting to be awake laying in my bed, only to find myself still in my dream laying on a fluffy cloud with a dark Alicorn princess standing in front of me.
Her face was one of confusion and sadness as she looked down on me from where she stood, her mouth opened a soft voice followed out, like that of a mother or considered friend ''what didst thou desire to accomplish with such a task" she asked her eyes showing her sadness with the question.
I didn't move as my brain thought the question over why did I jump even if it was a dream , to get out of the dream trying to wake myself up, to see what would happen, maybe hope against hope that she would, just maybe, come back and save me like she always had. Thoughts ran through my head like wildfire as I watched princess Lana walk closer to me and lay next to me on the cloud.
As she laid down on her spot on the cloud she slowly placed a wing over my back." you have been having this same nightmare for many nights in a row now Moonlight, doth thou wish to speak of it"
my mind slowed when the wing draped over me, I felt so real, So warm, It made me feel so comfortable as I laid under it only for me to tense as I looked to her “are you sure princess, you didn't have to do this”
Princess Luna let out a soft yet scornful smile as spoke to me lighting her horn and letting the dark void we had been floating in transform into a star filled sky just above a peaceful wooded forest “I, my little pony, tis time for us to speak of the matter that ails you” she looked down at me “ for to long have we watched from the shadows hoping thou would solve the matter thy self, but tonight showed that it is time for us to talk, please, let me carry some of the burden in thine heart”
