Smoke & Records

by Paper_Pen

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Daring Do, Profanity, Violence, Drama, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2731

A short romance about two total nerds who like Daring Do.

Paper Pen likes a mare, her birthday is coming up, and he has the perfect idea for a gift! Surely nothing could possibly go wrong!

Published 2021-09-04 08:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-09-04 08:50:01 UTC

I

Smokey Eyes and Paper Pen sat on a couch in the former's apartment, chatting idly as they sipped on tea and warmed up from a cold day of enjoying the fresh winter's snow beginning to blanket Manehattan. Any other winter the stallion would have been content to stay inside half-alive under as many hoodies or warm blankets he could find, though Smokey had wrenched him from his comfortable darkness, her damned smile just pierced his outer shell like a spear. Truthfully he had to admit even to his cold dead heart that this made him happy, being near Smokey made him feel something he couldn't perfectly define, a kind of high her place was just full of.

"I still can't get over that waitress today, she thought you were a total freak!" Smokey giggled.

"Well I don't usually drink hot cocoa, how was I supposed to know most ponies don't have it with bourbon?" Pen reasoned.

"It's a cafe, not a bar!"

"I still swear I got thrown out of there a few years ago." Pen attested, "And I only get thrown out of places when I'm drinking with Note!"

"You and Note…" she giggled, "It's gonna catch up with ya' one day, y'know!"

"That's alright, I just need to get successful enough to afford a good lawyer." Pen joked, slamming back the rest of his tea in much the same way he would a shot. Suddenly his vision was obscured by a flash of brown as something flew into his face, Smokey's giggling quickly making it obvious she was behind the attack.

Pen readjusted his glasses and took a good look at the 'something', it was a plush toy of Daring Do, and a well worn one at that. It was something of a contrast in her apartment, being the only object that would actually mean much at just a glance to most ponies. Smokey didn't have any pictures up and the appliances in her well stocked kitchen were formed in an array of different colors, aesthetic just wasn't important to a blind pony like her.

"You're into Daring Do?" Pen casually asked, giving the toy back to her.

"Oh, of course!" She smiled and let her ears perk up, "I loved the books as a foal, my dad was super into adventure novels and he would read to me every night. I was suuuper scared of the Ghoul Queen from book seven so-" She held the plush up in her hooves, "Had her ever since! Have you ever read through the original series? I'd love to just nerd out about it-"

"Oh buck yeah!" Pen smiled, "I analysed the books for a paper back in school, I even got to meet A.K. Yearling a couple of years ago!"

"Seriously?!" Smokey's clouded grey eyes seemed almost starstruck, "Did you get to have a book signed or something?!"

"Well it was less of a fan meetup and more of a 'she almost sued me for copyright infringement' thing" Pen admitted, "But she was absolutely the nicest pony to have threatened me with legal action!"

"There's been enough to rank them?"

"Daring Do for copyright violation, Rainbow Dash for spreading false rumors, Raven Inkwell for identity theft, I'm probably still banned from Ornithia for that whole 'impersonating a world leader' thing but-" Pen paused, "Legal trouble aside- I loved her books!"

"You should probably just be a lawyer…" Smokey scooted closer to Pen, an action he almost shied away from before her hoof began to gently feel through his long mane. "I just wish I could listen to them again."

Texture, especially softness, meant something special to the mare, it was how she saw beauty. Her favorite things were warm blankets just out of the dryer and perfectly cooked pastries, silken dresses and cold ocean water at the beach. Pen's mane was a rather recent addition to that nebulous list of things she could just like without explanation, it was a blanket of softness that somehow always smelt like fruity shampoo.

"Why can't you?" Pen asked, "Don't they sell audiobooks?"

"Well they did…" Smokey groaned, her tone rolling her eyes for her, "The company that had the rights to print the records went under and now nopony else can, I tried to get one second hoof but total flank-face collectors scalped the price up."

"Damned collector's markets, same thing happened to My Alchemical Friendship's first album…" Pen sympathized. Of course, he had a bootleg copy of 'I Brought You My Magic, You Brought Me Your Love', and he couldn't help but wonder if the same seedy sort that sold him that record would happen to carry audiobooks. After all Smokey's birthday was coming up, what better gift than a book?

II

Pen and Note trotted down the city streets of lower Manehattan, huddled in their scarves as the snowy weather beat down into their coats. Today was an especially bad one, a freak accident at the weather factory unleashing a snowstorm that everypony on the ground would just have to deal with. Nonetheless the city that never slept didn't exactly have time to hide inside with hot cocoa, the lifeblood of commerce refused to stop flowing and not a single shop had closed, even the ponies on street corners who sold designer clothing brands at suspiciously discounted prices had only relocated to take shelter in alleys as they sold their wares.

This second kind of merchant was what the pair were after, in particular a mare only known by the name Shady Soup. Soup was a lot of things, the neighborhood's cheapest weed dealer, a classically trained brewer of usually regulated potions, and most importantly the kind of pony who usually happened to have a little bit of everything ready to sell for a quick bit.

"Soup, what the buck is up?" Note greeted, finally spotting the mare hiding out in an alley.

"Business sucks, but it's too cold for the cops to leave their damn pigpens so-" She shrugged with a smirk, "What ya' buyin'?"

"I'll have the usual'!" Note ordered casually, exchanging a hoof full of bits for a zipped plastic baggie filled with a potent plant.

"What about you, horn-face?" Soup turned her attention to Pen, "I got this super cursed book that keeps whispering to me in my dreams, sound like somethin' you'd want?"

"Uh… actually I was looking for the Daring Do original series audiobooks-" Pen stuttered.

"Hey, idiot, do I look like a Noble Barn's?" Soup sneered, "And why do you want audiobooks? Oh- are you going blind? If you don't need your eyes no more I got this great scam-"

"They're not for me!" Pen exclaimed, "Do you know anypony who'd have them around here?"

"No chance!" She shrugged, "Sassafras might have but the ol' MHPD locked her stock up after she got caught selling timberwolf puppies."

"Bucking- ugh-" Pen groaned, turning back to Note, "Well that's that, I guess I should just buy her a Radioherd cassette or something…"

"Wanna bum the tracks from one of mine? My recording setup copies them real nice." Note offered.

"Nah, she's way too much of an audiophile, any copy just won't sound good enough for her." Pen commented, reaching a hoof into his scarf and retrieving an old metal flask. He took a sip of the pumpkin spice cider inside, idly swishing the vessel around as he thought. "Wait… I have an idea, can I use your recording setup?"

"Break it and I murder you, but of course bud!" Note grinned, "You makin' her an EP or somethin'?"

"Nope. She's still getting those books!" Pen smiled, still planning out how he was going to go about this.

The pair stopped at an electronics store on the way back to their building, Pen spending what money he had on him to load up on cassette tapes. It would be an excessively time consuming and somewhat silly task for a payoff that was essentially just a slightly more personal bootleg, but he'd done far more simply for spite, what was reading a book into a microphone for somepony he genuinely enjoyed being around?

The process was as expected a slow one only made bearable by the presence of Note, who he had somehow convinced to read for several roles that needed a far more masculine voice than what Pen could muster. Note's marefried Canvas had also begrudgingly agreed to join the ordeal of a project if it meant getting it done any faster, provided of course that she took the lead role of Daring Do herself. After two semi sleepless days and enough coffee to kill an elephant three times over, the final product was recorded and painstakingly edited. As a final touch Pen arranged each tape into its own small wooden box, each one having a different kind of fabric or silk on its top as a non-visual signifier. The first one was the most special of all, its fabric a clipping from his beloved scarf.

Finally, it was time for the best part of any large project: celebratory drinks.

III

Pen and Note stumbled down the hall of their building, drunkenly laughing as Note nursed a freshly wounded hoof after nearly breaking it on a bouncer's face. Pen had been uncharacteristically light with the cider that night, Smokey's birthday was the very next morning and he had convinced himself that the hangover wouldn't be worth it. It was strange for the stallion, thinking on it he hadn't bothered limiting his cider intake since he was roughly twelve save for a few long term hospital visits, and even then Note had snuck in shots for him. For once, it actually felt good to be semi-sober.

Suddenly a stallion exited one of the apartments, in particular Smokey's place. This gave Pen pause, he seemed to be laughing in that certain kind of way that ponies only laughed around those they truly cared about. Though it was what happened next that stabbed and twisted a knife into Pen's mind.

"Love ya' Smokey!" He smiled as he trotted away.

"Love ya' Gear, see you tomorrow!" She replied, her ears slowly searching for the noise of whatever other ponies occupied the hall.

Pen had frozen in his tracks, unable to move as his mind processed what the buck had just happened. He hadn't even known what it was that she made him feel, and it was at that moment when his heart was ripped from his chest and thrown into the icy sea that he realized; he loved her. He wanted to be around her, he wanted to make her days brighter for no other reason than affection, and he wanted to see her smile every damn day for the rest of his life. Only now that his truth gained a face was it shredded to reveal the ugly visage of reality, everything, anything he wanted just wasn't possible. Note, thinking quickly, grabbed his friend and dragged him into the nearest apartment.

"Dude, uh-" Note struggled for words, "Are uh… you okay?"

"What the buck was that?!" Pen exclaimed in genuine shock, "She has a special somepony, I convinced myself I'm in love, and she was totally just being friendly!"

"I mean, to be perfectly fair I super got those vibes too. The whole mane-petting thing was a little bit romantic." Note tried to comfort him, "I… yeah, sorry."

"I just need to sit for a moment…" Pen sighed, taking a seat upon the apartment's couch. The true tenant, their neighbor Nightwatch, rushed into the room.

"What the buck are you two doing in my house?!" He loudly questioned.

"Look, Night, not a good time." Note explained, "Pen's going through some tough stuff right now, I'd appreciate it if you left."

"Buck you, it's my place!" He exclaimed, "Get out before I call the police!"

"Seriously, dude, I'll rip your wings off and choke you to death with them!" Note unsheathed his pocket knife, pointing its steel blade threateningly at the other pegasus, "Shove off and go the buck back to bed!" This threat worked, seemingly, and Nightwatch rushed away.

"I'm such a bucking idiot…" Pen sulked, "What the buck is wrong with me that a mare shows me the slightest amount of affection and I think she's in love with me?"

"Hey, it's not you, buddy. It's totally natural to just want somepony to love." He patted the unicorn's back, "So… what are you doing with the tapes?"

"She's still getting them, of course." Pen halfheartedly shrugged, "I made them for her, and even if I can't have her in my life like… that… I'll take her smile as a friend. If she's happy... I'm happy."

With that the pair poured themselves glasses of whatever wine Nightwatch happened to have in his cupboard and left, Note wearing a nice new watch he'd found on the table and Pen attempting to hide his tear-stained eyes behind his scarf.

They met again the very next morning, trotting into Smokey's apartment and leaving the now wrapped boxes of tapes on a gift table. The party was a simple one, friends and family of the mare idly chatting and laughing with each other while stuffing their faces with a cake baked by the mare herself. Her cake was some of the best Pen had ever tasted, left warm and moist inside a shell of fine frosting. Everything she put in a pan baked into gold.

The pain Pen felt in his heart was slowly beginning to scab and scar, somewhat subsiding. The stallion she called Gear seemed kind, a genuinely caring pegasus who made her laugh. It still hurt, of course, to see him with her though Pen was at least content to see her happy. He didn't plan to linger too long, though the cutting blade had once again proved its bloodlust, Gear trotting up to Pen to introduce himself.

"Hiya, you must be Pen!" He shook the other stallion's hoof, "I'm Gear, Smokey's told me a lot about you!"

"Lovely to meet you too!" Pen forced a smile, "A friend of hers is a friend of mine!"

"Friend?" He laughed, "I'm her brother."

"...what?"

"She didn't mention me?" He cocked a brow.

"Can't uh- can't say she did, no." Pen stuttered, shaking off yet another sudden realization.

"Eh, I live in Fillydelphia. Probably just didn't come up." He shrugged with a smile, "What, did you think I was her stallionfriend or something?" He laughed.

"Pff, how daft do I look?" Pen chuckled.

"You're sure you want the answer to that question?" He teased, "Hey, I wanted to tell you something. You probably haven't picked up on it since she's a bit shy, but my sister really likes you."

"Seriously?" Pen feigned shock, "Oh wow, you're totally right, I never picked up those vibes… not even remotely."

"Just thought I should let ya' know, you seem like an alright pony." He patted Pen's back before moving into another grouping of ponies.

"Hey, holdin' up bud?" Note asked, trotting up to Pen.

"I think? The emotional whiplash is a bit disorienting."

"What?"

"Gear is her brother." Pen explained, "She's single, Gear is her brother, and I have one hundred percent confirmation that she likes me."

"She has a brother?!" Note was as flabbergasted as his friend.

"Right?!"

Pen rejoined the party, mingling with Smokey and her friends while they devoured a cake that had somehow gotten even sweeter since his last slice. She had reacted to his present better than he ever could have expected, smiling with nothing short of glee when he'd told her what was on the tapes. All night she kept the first tape in the series by her, idly stroking the fabric on it like a fidget. The gathering went into the night though eventually ponies began to leave, Pen almost following before Smokey grabbed him by the scarf.

"Hey, wanna hang around for a little bit?" She offered, "I can't wait to listen through these!"

"It runs a bit long, me and my friends aren't voice actors-" Pen giggled, "But of course! We should order some food, my treat!"

"Dinner and a show, you know how to treat a mare!" She made an adorable giggle before kissing Pen on the nose, "Oh, what about that really good Maretalian place on twentieth and forty, do they deliver?"