Prota's Journeyby Caramel MoonChaptersPart 1Part 2Part 3Part 5Part 4Part 1My early life wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t born in the safety of a hospital with loving parents to raise me. I was made. I am the product of a scientific experiment to create a powerful soldier that would be used to take over Equestria. My earliest memories aren’t pleasant at all. Back then, I didn’t look nearly like a timberwolf as I do now. I didn’t have horns and I still had the tail of a pony. My senses weren’t as powerful then either. I remember one time, I was sitting with my “father” Night Twister at the dinner table. He had killed a deer in the forest for me to eat. “Why do I have to eat this, daddy?” I asked him as I stared at the meat on my plate. Night Twister was having a fruit salad for dinner. He looked up from his meal and stared at me as if was the most stupid creature in existance. He was probably wondering why he’d made me in the first place. I doubt this was the first time he thought that and it wouldn’t be the last either. “You want to grow up to be a strong general one day don’t you, sweetie?” He often tried to be nice to me at first, doing his best to act like any other parent. “You could lead an army across the land and claim it. We would rule together, father and daughter.” “But you said it came from an animal,” I wined. “Why should I eat something that was once alive? That’s wrong isn’t it?” This only served to infuriate him. He stood up from his seat and stomped over to me. “You aren’t a real pony and you never will be” he said into my ear. “You are my creation and nothing more. Eventually, your Timberwolf instincts will kick in. Sooner or later you will hunt for food and eat the flesh of animals.” “But what if I don’t want to eat animals?” I asked innocently. In my young mind, it seemed wrong to eat something that had a life. “Bitch!” he said as he slapped me, I fell to the ground and started crying. “You’re not a pony, you’re a monster! And you always will be. Perhaps I’ve been too soft on you. Outside, now!” When I didn’t move, he yelled even louder. “NOW!” I quickly scrambled to my feet and exited the laboratory where I was born. He followed me outside and stood in the doorway. “From now on, you sleep out here like the animal you are.” he then slammed the door shut and I heard a click as he locked it from the inside. That wouldn’t be the last time I would defy him. That night, I gathered a pile of fallen leaves and slept on them. Winter was coming soon, but I didn’t know that. Each night, I pounded on the door, desperately wanting the warmth of inside. But Night Twister would only scowl at me and close the windows so he couldn’t see me. As the nights got colder, my acts became more desperate. I took rocks and threw them at the windows to break them. Night Twister then put steel shutters on the windows. One time, I tried to go down the chimney. But then, he would have a fire going every night to prevent me from doing that again. Finally, as I ran out of methods to get in, Night Twister came one day and offered me a deal. “You’ve run out of ideas, haven’t you?” he said with a sneer. “The nights will get far colder than they are now and there is a chance that you may freeze to death in the coming days. But I will offer you a deal, you mean a lot to my plans and I’d be a shame to lose you,” he sat down in front of me and stared me in the eyes. “Go out, kill an animal, bring it to me and I will allow you inside this winter, does that sound like a deal?” I didn’t think it through then. I just said, “yes” and watched as Night Twister walked back inside the lab. Only after he was gone, did I realize what I had agreed to. How could I kill? I was just a filly then. I walked through the forest trying to figure out what to do. I eventually came to a tree that had some dirt rustled up beneath it. The strong scent of squirrel came to my nose. This was it! My ticket inside. Something must have cached this for later, but didn’t do a very good job of covering it up. I quickly dug up the dead squirrel and carried it in my mouth. It tasted terrible, but I would have to endure it for a little while as I walked back. I trotted triumphantly up to the entrance of the lab and knocked. Night Twister opened the door and smiled, this was one of the few times I would see him smile. “Excellent,” he said to me. “Now come inside, you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. You’ve proved you have a killer’s heart and that makes me proud.” I tossed the squirrel to the ground and stepped inside. The warmth of the laboratory filled my body and I smiled at having outsmarted Night Twister. I washed the blood off of my claws and mouth. We both had a bowl of fruit for dinner and afterwards, we sat together by the fire as Night Twister read me Little Red Riding Hood. It was my favorite story because I wished I had a grandmother who lived in the woods I could visit. I also related to Riding Hood, because back then I was trying to escape the instincts of the timberwolf that made up half of my DNA. Part 2The years had passed. I was now entering my adolescent years. I now had stubs where my horns would grow in and my teeth were beginning to fall out and be replaced by sharper ones. This was a time of great change for me, not just physically, but I’ll get to that later. For now, know that as I began to change my relation with my “father” did as well. While I still harbored a hatred for him because of how he had treated me as a filly, he had begun to trust me more. One day, he came up to me with an eager smile and said “you’ve come to the age where I feel that you are ready to see all of my work. Come with me and I’ll show you the lab,” I cocked my head in confusion. We were already in a lab. This was a small cabin in the woods that had several vials of chemicals and solutions stored in its cabinets. There were Bunsen burners on tables and even a few flasks that served as candle holders when the need arose. “Not this one, the true lab,” Night Twister said as he walked over to a bookshelf. He reached for a book and went to pull it off the shelf, but just before it was off he released it and I thought for sure it would fall to the floor. Instead it stayed there, on the edge of the shelf completely solid. It didn’t look like it was going to fall anytime soon. As I puzzled over this strange phenomenon, I heard the turning of gears as the bookshelf popped out of the wall and slid to the side to reveal a small room. “This is called an elevator,” Night Twister explained. “It allows me to travel down to the lower lab I’ve built beneath the ground. That’s where I conduct all the fun experiments!” He stepped inside and motioned for me to join him. I slowly walked over and watched as he pushed a button labeled “Lower Lab” I felt the floor drop and was worried that I’d be falling to my death. But I was still in the elevator, the floor hadn’t gone anywhere. After about thirty seconds, the doors of the elevator opened to reveal a hallway with walls lined with cages containing various creatures. As we walked down the hall, I glanced around and saw that there were many strange pony-like creatures. There was a large bird that stood on four legs and had two cat paws as its hind legs. There were black bug ponies that hissed as we walked by. There was even a pony that seemed to have a mane like a lion and a slimmer tail. This one was screaming as every few seconds she would burst into flame. I tried not to gag at the atrocities I witnessed as Night Twister led me through the hallway. Some were so horrifying I dare not speak of them. This was truly a hall filled with nightmares. Eventually, we came to the end of the hall where there was a large steel double door. Night Twister’s horn glowed red as he hummed a tune. When he had finished, the steel doors lit up with his magic and swung inward to reveal a pony strapped to a table. “HELP ME! PLEASE!” the pony screamed as we entered. She looked to be about the age of Night Twister, early twenties. She lashed and struggled to break free, but she was not strong enough. “Now, my dear,” Night Twister said to me. “This is where the fun happens, where I carve up creatures and see what they’re made of, where I alter their forms until they no longer look like what they used to,” he led me over to a table with many different surgical tools laid out on it. “Would you like to go first? We can carve her up together, have a little father-daughter bonding time,” I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt sick and needed to get out. “No! It’s wrong” I shouted as I raced out of the room. “Come back here, you little shit!” Night Twister yelled. “You’re pathetic. Weak! You can’t be a monster and you’ll never be a pony. You’re nothing! You hear me? NOTHING!” he kept shouting at me, but I was already taking off. I made it to the elevator and pushed the button that led me upstairs. I did my best to keep from losing my lunch. I ran through the cabin and eventually made it up to the little loft that was my bed. I laid there crying for several hours before, finally, I fell asleep. Later that night, I woke to hear Night Twister angrily stomping around. “That little bitch is such a failure, good thing she’s just a prototype,” he said as he stomped around. “What a fool I was to think I could raise her to be a monster, but she did have the look. Perhaps next time I can make a pony that can change between looking normal and looking like a monster.” the was silence for several moments as Night Twister began rustling through the cabinets. “Where did I put that vial? I probably left it in the lower lab. I’ll put her to sleep and start anew in the morning,” I then heard him leave and walk over to the elevator. I didn’t know what it was he was talking about, but I didn’t like the sound of it. I needed to escape and this was my chance. I grabbed a basket and stuffed as much fruit and nuts in it as I could. I then left and ran off into the forest in the hopes that there would be a town nearby. It was just turning to summer, hopefully I could find a place to live before winter came. If not, I was going to have to survive on my own. I could do this, I could live without that bastard taking care of me. The more I thought about it, the faster I ran. I would run so far away I would never have to see his face again. Part 3After a few days traveling through the woods, I came to a village. When I walked up to the village, I saw that all the ponies that were going about their day ran away screaming when I arrived. This didn’t stop me, I had no idea yet why they had run. I walked over to a pony who was cowering behind a bench. “Hello!” I said with a friendly smile. But to the pony, my smile must not have been enough. “Monster!” she screamed before running off. I glanced around looking for this monster she had spoken of. I couldn’t see any sort of beast around. But she couldn’t have been frightened by nothing, what could have scared her? I kept walking through the town, ponies kept running and screaming about a monster when I came near them. I began to think that I was the monster. Surely, I wasn’t that different from them. Yeah, I had wooden claws but I couldn’t help that. I was now walking through an area of the town where there were many stores and shops. Ponies kept running at the sight of me. I glanced around again, certain I wasn’t the monster and saw what they’d been running from. It was a strange pony that looked more like a beast. She had two small protrusions on her head and a snout that resembled a wolf. Her coat was a light green, much like mine. She was standing in front of a shop window. “I’ll protect you!” I said to some nearby ponies that were hiding. I then charged straight at the monster not sure of what else to do. I leaped to tackle her, but instead the pony disappeared and I crashed through the shop’s glass window and into the store. “I’ll get her next time” I said to myself as I dusted the shards of glass off of me. Luckily, I hadn’t been cut. I turned to a family of ponies that was cowering in a corner of the shop. “Don’t worry,” I said gently. “I’ll make sure that monster doesn’t hurt you,” for a moment the fear on the faces of the parents was replaced by confusion. “What are you talking about?” the father said. “You’re the monster, see for yourself. There’s a mirror over there” he pointed to a small rectangle that showed the area of the store behind me. In front of me, I saw the same creature that had been in the shop window. I slowly walked forward and the creature copied me. I raised a hoof, it did the same. The thing copied every single move I made. What game was it playing? After several moments of staring at the creature and watching it copy me, the truth dawned on me. This wasn’t some hideous creature, this was me. I was the monster. I glanced back at the family, they were still cowering in the corner of the shop. A mixture of rage and sadness began to come over me. Rage at everyone for running away when I came near and sadness that this was my appearance. I glanced around slowly, I was in a clothing shop. Perhaps there was something I could use to hide myself. I looked around until I found a black cloak. I grabbed the cloak and threw it over myself before storming out of the town. Perhaps I could find better luck in the next town. I’d be more careful next time. The journey to the next town lasted five days. This time, I stood at the edge of town watching ponies making sure no one saw me underneath my cloak. Everyone seemed to be acting normal so I started to walk in. I made sure to keep my head down so no one would see my face. Things were going smoothly so far. I visited a few shops just to look around. I didn’t have any money, but it was nice to imagine one day being able to afford the things I wanted. When the sun had set, I walked over to the local inn. I walked up to the innkeeper who was currently tending the bar. “Can a weary traveler get a room for the night?” I asked. “That depends, don’t it? Got any bits?” he asked in a somewhat rude tone. I shook my head no. “Then if ya don’t have bits, I can’t give ya a room. Got a family to feed, no one stays for free” he began to walk over to another customer, but I stopped him. “Wait,” I said. “Perhaps I can earn my stay,” I looked around the room. Everyone seemed to be drinking and chatting, some were laughing but not many. “Let me be entertainment for tonight, I’ll give you a show if you give me a room.” “Aight,” the innkeeper said. “It’s a deal, but you better put on a good show. It’s been a while since this place has had any entertainment. Our last bard got old and retired.” What was I doing? I had no experience with an instrument or anything funny to say. Guess I’ll just make it up as I go. I stood up on an empty table to address the room. “Greetings one and all, I am the Hooded Dancer and I have traveled far and wide to provide you with tonight's entertainment” I had no idea what I was saying, words just kept coming out of my mouth. I began to sing some silly song I made up in the spur of the moment as I danced on the table. Eventually, I stumbled and fell off the table. I was too giddy to feel any pain, so I just stood right back up and kept singing. Everyone laughed, they thought it was part of my routine. When I had finished, everyone cheered and clapped. I got back on the table and said “thank you all, I hope you enjoyed the performance. Treasure this moment forever. The Hooded Dancer will be off tomorrow for her next gig” remarkably my hood hadn’t come off. I reached up and touched my horns, they’d grown a bit and were probably what had kept the hood on during the performance. “Excellent work,” the innkeeper said, clapping. “You’ve certainly earned a room at the inn. Is it true you’re leaving tomorrow? I’d love it if you could stay, as I said before it’s been a while since this place has had a good laugh,” “I’m afraid it is true,” I said as the innkeeper led me to my room. “I have places to be” In truth, I had nowhere to go and would have loved to stay. But I was too afraid of what would happen if I was discovered. I stepped inside my room, said goodnight to the innkeeper and closed the door. I then took off my cloak and laid it on a dresser in the corner by the door. I ate some of the fruit from my basket. It was running low, I didn’t know if I’d be able to make it to the next town with what I had. I brushed that thought away, I’d worry about it in the morning. I could probably ask the innkeeper for something I could pack with me. I laid down on the bed and went to sleep. It felt nice not having to sleep on the hard ground for once. I awoke to a creaking sound, I looked up and saw that my door was open. A young pony, about a year older than me was standing in the doorway gaping in surprise. “Don’t scream!” I pleaded, hoping she would listen. I must have forgotten to lock the door and this pony opened it, thinking no one was inside. The pony didn’t listen, she screamed loudly and in a few moments the innkeeper arrived. “What’s this? The so-called ‘Hooded Dancer’ is nothing but a monster,” he said. “Your performance wasn’t even that good,” he then left the room. Probably to call the city guard. I cursed and threw my cloak on. I opened the window and glanced out. I wasn’t too high up, I could probably survive the fall. I glanced back at the doorway, the pony from before had gone. This was a small town, the guards probably weren’t too far and would be here soon. I took a running leap and jumped out the window. I fell for a couple of seconds before landing in a pile of wood. It hurt a little, but I didn't have time for pain. I ran into the street and stopped to glance behind me. The guards were right on my tail. I took off running, doing my best to evade them. But they knew these streets better than I and were always around the corner. I ran over to a house on the edge of the town but the guards were waiting for me. I leaped to climb the building. The guards swung their swords, cutting off my tail, but I landed on the side of the building and climbed to the top. One of the unicorn guards teleported up to meet me, but by then I had already leaped off the roof and into a nearby tree. This was my life now, I was on the run. They would hunt me all across Equestria until I was dead or captured. Now I couldn’t linger in any town I stayed in. Nor could I hope to settle down and make a home. Part 5I was now on my way back to Night Twister’s lab. He was right. I was just a monster. If I couldn’t be a pony, I’d be a monster. The greatest monster in Equestria. Fate seemed determined to cast me in this role, so I would embrace it. As I drew closer and closer to the place that had been my home for a good part of my life, I began to wonder. Did he miss me? Sure, he treated me terribly but maybe he loved me deep down. I was almost there. I had just passed the first village I visited, the place where I saw my reflection for the first time. I’d also begun to hunt for food like a true wolf. That was how I’d sustained myself for the journey. After about thirty minutes, the lab came into view. It was strange, I felt a sense of longing for a place I had wanted to escape just a year ago. I approached the door and went to knock, but I heard him talking inside and went by the window to listen. When I glanced in, I saw him writing notes down and talking to himself as he did so. “That’s what I need to do with this one!” Night Twister exclaimed as he scribbled more notes down that I couldn’t see. “If I splice Changeling DNA into her, she’ll be able to transform from pony to timberwolf. But what if it throws off the balance?” he gripped his head in frustration. “And I’ll leave her in a wooded area that is home to Timberwolves. That way, they’ll raise her as their own and she’ll be a true monster. Not like my prototype at all. That one was just a failure.” My heart split in two. Not only did he still think I was a failure, but he was planning to replace me as well. That bastard! I should have expected this. I pounded my fist on the wall, which sent a thud into the cabin. “Who’s there?” Night Twister said as he put down his notes. He started walking toward the door. I couldn’t face him. Not now, when my heart was broken. I was still a failure to him. I ran as fast as I could, trying to get as far away from there as I could before Night Twister opened the door. Now that I’d visited, I realized I couldn’t go through with being a monster. What was I? I couldn’t be a pony and I wouldn’t be a monster. An animal? Was I an animal, just trying its best to survive a cold cruel world? That had to be it. I’d find an isolated wood and live out the remainder of my days there. I kept running as fast as I could. Eventually, I stopped. What was I thinking? How could I live with just the company of animals? I’d be forever alone with no one to talk to. Very well, I would have it both ways. Isolation and company. Back when Baguette was showing me the map of Equestria, there was a place to the north labeled Yakyakistan where creatures called Yaks lived. Tears filled my eyes as I thought of that memory. I’d ruined Baguette’s life; I no longer deserved the name he gave me. Willow. It was the name of a tree he’d said. No! Stop thinking about that, it’s too painful. Better to not think at all, live off of instinct. I began my journey north. I walked the entire way. As the air got colder, I felt refreshed. I hoped the climate would freeze my heart and make it so that I no longer felt the pain of my past. The journey was long and difficult. At night, I would do my best to find a cave or something to keep warm. A few times I’d run into some ponies and large fluffy creatures camping. While I longed to come up to their warm fire, I forced myself to stay away. That would only end in disaster. I gave them quite a scare, though. They might not have seen me, but I didn’t doubt they’d heard me. When I finally made it to Yakyakistan, I saw more of the large fluffy creatures. They seemed to live in villages. A lot of them wore pointy helmets that, in addition to their size, scared me. I wouldn’t want to get in a fight with one of them. Began walking away from the village, hoping to find a place to set up my den. Not too far from the village, I didn’t want to feel alone but not too close either. Eventually, I found the perfect place. Far enough away where no one would find me, but close enough to where I could hear the village. I began digging. I’d seen a couple of other animals digging dens on my journey here and I did my best to copy them. Once my den was dug, I searched for leaves to fill it with. That way, I could have a comfortable bed. Not only that, but it might provide insulation from the snow. After my den was complete, I began hunting for food. I ate some and cached the rest in places I’d be able to remember. The first night was difficult. A fox wandered near my den, so I emerged and growled at it. I didn’t think my growl was that scary, but maybe my size scared it because as soon as it saw me it ran off whimpering. I would have to defend my territory, if I wanted to stay. That fox wouldn’t be the last challenger. The next day, I set scent markers around my den. Unfortunately, the area wasn’t big enough so as the winter came in full force I found myself wandering into other territories for food. Next winter, I expanded my territory. Establishing dominance over the previous owners like a conqueror. But I didn’t want the territory for some stupid reason like greed, I needed it to survive. I made sure to only take as much territory as I needed and let the other animals have enough for themselves. Years passed this way. Each year, I would hunt and store food for the winter. Then when it came, I would eat and defend my territory. A few times, I wandered near the town and stole newspapers from the mailpony’s cart. It was the only way I could keep the balance between the wolf and the pony that I was composed of. I’d read the papers at the end of the day, by the light of the sunset. That was how I’d learned of my replacement. She’d been living in a place called Dodge City, but in the paper I was reading, she’d disappeared a few days ago. Of course, my papers were probably out of date. I searched through the pile of unread papers and found one that told of a timberwolf working with a vampire and a snake pony. It sounded like fiction to me, and I ignored it. But about a week later, the vampire showed up. He was walking through the forest with an axe one night. I racked my brain, trying to remember the name of my… I guess she was my sister. I think the paper said she was Misty Leaves. I followed the vampire into the town. What was I thinking? But, I’d heard from the papers that Misty carried a magic amulet. Maybe that amulet could make me look normal. I needed that amulet. By the time he reached the town, I realized the sun was rising. If I went in now, someone might see me. Better to wait until the next night. That way I’d have time to learn more about this stranger. I scoured my collection of papers for more information about the vampire and my sister. According to reports, Misty looked like a normal pony during the day but at night she changed into the timberwolf. It must have been the amulet. As night fell again, I worked up the courage to enter the village. I told myself over and over that no one would be out and about this time of night. But my heart beat faster and faster as I entered the village and searched for the vampire’s hut. I found him quite easily, his was the only door that wasn’t locked. Perhaps he thought himself too powerful to lock a door. Or perhaps the fool forgot to lock the door when he went to sleep. Either way, I entered and stood there waiting for him to wake up. When he finally did, I spoke to him. “You,” I said to him. “I’ve heard of you. You work with my sister. Take me to her!” it came out a bit more demanding than I intended, but I was desperate. “Hold on,” the vampire said as he got out of bed and turned the lights on. He stared at me for several minutes. “Yes, I’m a monster,” I said to him. I was eager to get going as fast as possible. “Take me to my sister now! I’ve read a few papers, I know she works with you. She calls herself Misty Leaves,” the vampire sighed. Finally, he was giving in. He saw that he had no choice and was going to do as I asked. “Alright, I’ll take you to her,” the vampire said. He walked out of the hut. I followed him and watched as he walked over to a different hut and poured a brown liquid into a cup. Once he was done with one, he took out another cup and poured more brown liquid into it. “What are you doing?” I asked as he handed me the cup. “For the road,” he said as he threw some coins on the hut’s counter and began to walk out of the village. I followed him. “We’ll be taking the long way back to Manehattan since I don’t exactly know what your intentions are with Misty,” he took a sip from his cup and smiled. “Plus, we can get to know each other. My name’s Shadow Fang, what’s yours?” I was silent as I followed him out of the village. My name? I’d had a name once. What was it? Now that I thought about it, I didn’t remember much about my past. As we finally exited the village, something came into my head. It was a name I’d heard before. But I wasn’t sure about it. “I don’t remember much of who I was before this,” I said. “Just call me Prota.” Part 4Remember how I said that in my adolescent years, the changes I faced were more than physical? This is where those started. I’d lost track of how long I’d been traveling and I had run out of food a few days ago. Now, whenever I would see a deer or any other creature my stomach would growl. I was actually beginning to consider killing a creature and eating it, despite the moral implications of such an action. But even my morals were put to the test as I was faced with a difficult question: Is killing really wrong when you do it to survive? I fought this for as long as I could. I would not prove Night Twister right by killing an innocent creature just to survive. If I did that, I would become something less than a pony. An animal, or worse, a monster. That would not happen, I told myself. I foraged for berries, but often stopped, not knowing if they were safe or not. I traveled this way, not eating anything, until I came to a town. My heart pounded as I stared at it. It was bigger than the villages I’d visited previously. What could I do? I couldn’t go in for fear of being caught and I couldn’t stay on the edge of the town without fear of starvation. I began to walk around the perimeter of the town not sure of my next action. Eventually, I saw a young foal playing on the edge of the town. I walked over to approach him, staying in the shadows where he couldn’t see me. On one hoof, I didn’t want to be seen. What if he got scared and ran off to tell his parents or something? But on the other hoof, I needed help. Maybe he could steal food for me or something? I began to pace as I pondered this dilemma. Finally, fate decided for me. I accidentally stepped on a twig, snapping it. “Who’s there?” the young foal shouted. He looked to be about five or six years old. “Mother said there might be monsters in the woods. Are you a monster?” I hated that word. I was not a monster and I never would be. After making sure my cloak was secured, I stepped closer to the young boy. “No monsters,” I said in my most reassuring voice. “Just a traveler in need of food,” the young foal smiled at me. He was a yellow pegasus with a blue mane. “If you need food, come with me!” he shouted excitedly. “My mommy makes the best fruit tarts in town! She owns a bakery. I bet she would give you bread and a place to stay for the night if you asked.” The foal began to trot off toward the village, but he stopped halfway when he realized I wasn’t following him. “Aren’t you coming?” he asked with a confused look. “I can't,” I said as sorrow began to fill me. Why couldn’t I just have a normal life? “I’m afraid. I’m different, your mother might be scared of me and lock me up” this only seemed to confuse the young foal even more. “My mommy likes everypony! I doubt you’d be an exception. She’s pretty much friends with everyone in town. She even gets along with Ol’ Smeller, and he doesn't get along with anyone” I smiled. I was beginning to like this kid. He filled me with optimism, but I couldn’t take the risk. “I can show you why I can’t come, if you promise not to scream” This was a risk I had to take. If I didn’t show him who I was, he might drag me into town whether I liked it or not. “Do you promise?” I made sure to say it in a way that let him know I was serious. The young foal nodded and I removed my cloak. He gasped in surprise, but didn’t scream. “You’re a monster!” he cried joyfully. “I’m friends with a monster!” there was that word again. The one that had haunted me all my life. “You can’t tell anyone, or I might be taken away from you” I told him seriously. “And please stop calling me that, I don’t like it,” I stared at the young foal. “Stop calling you what?” he asked, not understanding. That was the problem with young ponies. They were very trusting, but sometimes didn’t understand. Could I bring myself to say it? I’d have to try if I wanted him to stop. I started to say it, but it came out slowly. “Mmmmmonsssster” I’d have to try again. It took several embarrassing attempts, but eventually I was able to force it out. “Monster!” I spat the word like a piece of rotted fruit. “Don’t call me a monster. It’s not who I am,” “Then what should I call you?” the young foal asked. “Do you have a name?” a name? I’d never been given a name before. What was it that Night Twister had called me? No, don’t go there. You can’t have a name he gave you. Besides, all those names weren’t too nice. “I don’t have one,” I said finally. “Perhaps you could give me one?” It wasn’t too much to ask, I thought. I wanted a name now, it wasn’t something that I had known before. But if I wanted to be a pony, I would need a name. “Ok,” the foal said as he thought for a few minutes. After a while his eyes widened as an idea came into his little head. “How about Willow? It’s the name of a tree, I learned it in school. And since you seem to have some wood on you, it would fit, right?” he stared at me earnestly awaiting my approval. “Willow,” I said, testing the name out. I liked the sound of it. It would be my name. “I like it,” I shouted excitedly. “My name is Willow, what’s yours?” “I’m Baguette” the young foal said as he held out his hoof to me. I stared at it blankly, not sure what to do. Finally, Baguette took my claw and placed it on his outstretched hoof. “It’s called a hoof shake,” he explained. “Ponies do it when they meet each other. It’s another thing I learned in school,” that was the second time he’d said that word. School. “What’s school?” I asked. He seemed shocked at my question. Had I said something wrong? “What?” asked. I needed to know if I’d made a mistake. If I wanted to live with other ponies, I had to make sure that I said and did things right. “Oh, it’s just I’m surprised you’ve never heard of school before” he said casually. “But it’s fine, you probably grew up in the forest and never heard about it. School’s great! It’s this building where me and other ponies learn about stuff. How to read, write, the history of Equestria, and a whole lot of other stuff!” he jumped up and down as he said these things. “I’ll have to see if I can’t sneak off with some books tomorrow so that I can teach you!” He then raced off and I wondered if I would ever see him again. My first friend! I was so excited, I leaped into the air. See Night Twister? I’m not a monster! Monsters don’t have friends. Baguette returned later that night with a loaf of bread and an apple for me to eat. As I ate, Baguette told me all about his life here in this little town. He said the town was called Berryberg and that the road that led out of the town was called Raspberry Road. Baguette also explained that the town and road had been named that way because of all the berries that grew around it. After I’d finished eating, Baguette helped me find a place to sleep and build a bed of leaves that I could be comfortable in. It was fall, soon winter would roll in and then I would have to worry about freezing. But I didn’t think of that, I was sure that Baguette would take care of me. Each day, I would hide in the bushes and in the afternoon when Baguette got done with school he would bring me a fruit tart and teach me things he had learned in school. I learned to read. It was something that Night Twister had never taught me. He probably thought that if I became who he wanted me to be, it would be safer to send messages with magic. After Baguette had taught me how to read, I began to learn how to write. He brought an inkwell with him and watched me as I dipped my claws in it and wrote words. Simple ones at first, but then I was writing longer words, and then sentences. He taught me everything about math, geography, history, and science. It was so thrilling to learn things that were previously unknown to me. As my reading skills improved, it began a tradition for us to sit in the forest together and read a book. I would read and Baguette would listen, correcting me or helping me pronounce a word if I got stuck. It was great, I was living the way I had always dreamed. But it was not to last. One night, while we were reading a young filly came up to us. “I always wondered what you were doing in the woods at night, Baggy,” the filly said. Baguette sat up and scowled at her. “Go away, Harm Queen,” Baguette said to her before turning to me. “That’s Harmony Bliss, I call her Harm Queen because she’s always mean to me and the younger ponies in class,” he then turned back to Harmony and shouted at her. “My friend here, will tear your face off if you don’t leave!” he gestured to me. I’d never hurt anypony, he was probably just saying that to scare her off. “Oh, I'm shaking in my boots,” Harmony said sarcastically. “I told my father and he rounded up the town guard to catch the boy who was friends with a monster. I saw you together yesterday! I don’t know what you’re planning, beast, but you’re not going to use Baggy to take over our town!” With that, Baguette’s parents and four guards stepped out of hiding and surrounded us. “Please, son, don’t do this!” Baguette’s father said to him. “You can’t trust her, she’s been using you to get what she wants,” his mother also begged him to come back to them. “Behind me,” I said to Baguette as I stood up. I knew what was coming. No matter what happened next, a fight would break out. I had to protect Baguette. “No!” Baguette shouted. “You don’t understand, she just wants a home. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone!” “That’s what she wants you to think,” Baguette’s mother said. “You’re going to come back one way or the other. Either come willingly, or the guard will drag you back to a cell at the jailhouse” when Baguette stomped his hoof on the ground indicating his decision, his mother stared at him sadly. “Very well,” she said sadly. The guards then advanced on me. I gave over to instinct. My rage over having my heaven ripped away from me fueled my actions. I leaped at the guards and tacked two to the ground. I bit at their throats killing them before turning to the other two. They screamed and started running. I chased after them but Baguette stood in my way. I saw his mouth move, but couldn’t hear the words. He was probably pleading for me to stop. But I was too enraged to listen. My prey was escaping and I wouldn’t let that happen. I slashed at Baguette’s face, clawing his eyes. He screamed in pain, but I was too focused to hear it. I ran farther, getting closer to the guards, but I was stopped again by Baguette’s parents. “What did you do to my son!” his mother shouted as she charged at me but a mother’s rage couldn’t stop the fury of a timberwolf. I scratched at her chest and she fell to the ground. But his father stepped in front of me. I leaped and placed a claw on his neck as I thrust forward, using the action to gain momentum. I kept running, but I soon realized the two guards had escaped. As soon as I stopped the fog of anger lifted and I saw what my actions had done. Baguette’s father lay next to his mother. Blood seeped out of the father’s neck, already dead, while Baguette’s mother choked and coughed in her last moments. Farther on, Baguette was screaming while Harmony was smiling smugly, knowing she was right. No! It couldn’t be true. My anger at the guards was now replaced by anger at myself. As well as sadness. I really was a monster. I had no one to blame except myself. I could blame Harmony for leading the guards to me, but it had been my claws that blinded my best friend and killed his parents. I ran off into the woods, not looking back. That damn bastard was right, I was nothing but a monster, and I always would be.
Part 1My early life wasn’t perfect. I wasn’t born in the safety of a hospital with loving parents to raise me. I was made. I am the product of a scientific experiment to create a powerful soldier that would be used to take over Equestria. My earliest memories aren’t pleasant at all. Back then, I didn’t look nearly like a timberwolf as I do now. I didn’t have horns and I still had the tail of a pony. My senses weren’t as powerful then either. I remember one time, I was sitting with my “father” Night Twister at the dinner table. He had killed a deer in the forest for me to eat. “Why do I have to eat this, daddy?” I asked him as I stared at the meat on my plate. Night Twister was having a fruit salad for dinner. He looked up from his meal and stared at me as if was the most stupid creature in existance. He was probably wondering why he’d made me in the first place. I doubt this was the first time he thought that and it wouldn’t be the last either. “You want to grow up to be a strong general one day don’t you, sweetie?” He often tried to be nice to me at first, doing his best to act like any other parent. “You could lead an army across the land and claim it. We would rule together, father and daughter.” “But you said it came from an animal,” I wined. “Why should I eat something that was once alive? That’s wrong isn’t it?” This only served to infuriate him. He stood up from his seat and stomped over to me. “You aren’t a real pony and you never will be” he said into my ear. “You are my creation and nothing more. Eventually, your Timberwolf instincts will kick in. Sooner or later you will hunt for food and eat the flesh of animals.” “But what if I don’t want to eat animals?” I asked innocently. In my young mind, it seemed wrong to eat something that had a life. “Bitch!” he said as he slapped me, I fell to the ground and started crying. “You’re not a pony, you’re a monster! And you always will be. Perhaps I’ve been too soft on you. Outside, now!” When I didn’t move, he yelled even louder. “NOW!” I quickly scrambled to my feet and exited the laboratory where I was born. He followed me outside and stood in the doorway. “From now on, you sleep out here like the animal you are.” he then slammed the door shut and I heard a click as he locked it from the inside. That wouldn’t be the last time I would defy him. That night, I gathered a pile of fallen leaves and slept on them. Winter was coming soon, but I didn’t know that. Each night, I pounded on the door, desperately wanting the warmth of inside. But Night Twister would only scowl at me and close the windows so he couldn’t see me. As the nights got colder, my acts became more desperate. I took rocks and threw them at the windows to break them. Night Twister then put steel shutters on the windows. One time, I tried to go down the chimney. But then, he would have a fire going every night to prevent me from doing that again. Finally, as I ran out of methods to get in, Night Twister came one day and offered me a deal. “You’ve run out of ideas, haven’t you?” he said with a sneer. “The nights will get far colder than they are now and there is a chance that you may freeze to death in the coming days. But I will offer you a deal, you mean a lot to my plans and I’d be a shame to lose you,” he sat down in front of me and stared me in the eyes. “Go out, kill an animal, bring it to me and I will allow you inside this winter, does that sound like a deal?” I didn’t think it through then. I just said, “yes” and watched as Night Twister walked back inside the lab. Only after he was gone, did I realize what I had agreed to. How could I kill? I was just a filly then. I walked through the forest trying to figure out what to do. I eventually came to a tree that had some dirt rustled up beneath it. The strong scent of squirrel came to my nose. This was it! My ticket inside. Something must have cached this for later, but didn’t do a very good job of covering it up. I quickly dug up the dead squirrel and carried it in my mouth. It tasted terrible, but I would have to endure it for a little while as I walked back. I trotted triumphantly up to the entrance of the lab and knocked. Night Twister opened the door and smiled, this was one of the few times I would see him smile. “Excellent,” he said to me. “Now come inside, you don’t have to eat it if you don’t want to. You’ve proved you have a killer’s heart and that makes me proud.” I tossed the squirrel to the ground and stepped inside. The warmth of the laboratory filled my body and I smiled at having outsmarted Night Twister. I washed the blood off of my claws and mouth. We both had a bowl of fruit for dinner and afterwards, we sat together by the fire as Night Twister read me Little Red Riding Hood. It was my favorite story because I wished I had a grandmother who lived in the woods I could visit. I also related to Riding Hood, because back then I was trying to escape the instincts of the timberwolf that made up half of my DNA.
Part 2The years had passed. I was now entering my adolescent years. I now had stubs where my horns would grow in and my teeth were beginning to fall out and be replaced by sharper ones. This was a time of great change for me, not just physically, but I’ll get to that later. For now, know that as I began to change my relation with my “father” did as well. While I still harbored a hatred for him because of how he had treated me as a filly, he had begun to trust me more. One day, he came up to me with an eager smile and said “you’ve come to the age where I feel that you are ready to see all of my work. Come with me and I’ll show you the lab,” I cocked my head in confusion. We were already in a lab. This was a small cabin in the woods that had several vials of chemicals and solutions stored in its cabinets. There were Bunsen burners on tables and even a few flasks that served as candle holders when the need arose. “Not this one, the true lab,” Night Twister said as he walked over to a bookshelf. He reached for a book and went to pull it off the shelf, but just before it was off he released it and I thought for sure it would fall to the floor. Instead it stayed there, on the edge of the shelf completely solid. It didn’t look like it was going to fall anytime soon. As I puzzled over this strange phenomenon, I heard the turning of gears as the bookshelf popped out of the wall and slid to the side to reveal a small room. “This is called an elevator,” Night Twister explained. “It allows me to travel down to the lower lab I’ve built beneath the ground. That’s where I conduct all the fun experiments!” He stepped inside and motioned for me to join him. I slowly walked over and watched as he pushed a button labeled “Lower Lab” I felt the floor drop and was worried that I’d be falling to my death. But I was still in the elevator, the floor hadn’t gone anywhere. After about thirty seconds, the doors of the elevator opened to reveal a hallway with walls lined with cages containing various creatures. As we walked down the hall, I glanced around and saw that there were many strange pony-like creatures. There was a large bird that stood on four legs and had two cat paws as its hind legs. There were black bug ponies that hissed as we walked by. There was even a pony that seemed to have a mane like a lion and a slimmer tail. This one was screaming as every few seconds she would burst into flame. I tried not to gag at the atrocities I witnessed as Night Twister led me through the hallway. Some were so horrifying I dare not speak of them. This was truly a hall filled with nightmares. Eventually, we came to the end of the hall where there was a large steel double door. Night Twister’s horn glowed red as he hummed a tune. When he had finished, the steel doors lit up with his magic and swung inward to reveal a pony strapped to a table. “HELP ME! PLEASE!” the pony screamed as we entered. She looked to be about the age of Night Twister, early twenties. She lashed and struggled to break free, but she was not strong enough. “Now, my dear,” Night Twister said to me. “This is where the fun happens, where I carve up creatures and see what they’re made of, where I alter their forms until they no longer look like what they used to,” he led me over to a table with many different surgical tools laid out on it. “Would you like to go first? We can carve her up together, have a little father-daughter bonding time,” I couldn’t take it anymore. I felt sick and needed to get out. “No! It’s wrong” I shouted as I raced out of the room. “Come back here, you little shit!” Night Twister yelled. “You’re pathetic. Weak! You can’t be a monster and you’ll never be a pony. You’re nothing! You hear me? NOTHING!” he kept shouting at me, but I was already taking off. I made it to the elevator and pushed the button that led me upstairs. I did my best to keep from losing my lunch. I ran through the cabin and eventually made it up to the little loft that was my bed. I laid there crying for several hours before, finally, I fell asleep. Later that night, I woke to hear Night Twister angrily stomping around. “That little bitch is such a failure, good thing she’s just a prototype,” he said as he stomped around. “What a fool I was to think I could raise her to be a monster, but she did have the look. Perhaps next time I can make a pony that can change between looking normal and looking like a monster.” the was silence for several moments as Night Twister began rustling through the cabinets. “Where did I put that vial? I probably left it in the lower lab. I’ll put her to sleep and start anew in the morning,” I then heard him leave and walk over to the elevator. I didn’t know what it was he was talking about, but I didn’t like the sound of it. I needed to escape and this was my chance. I grabbed a basket and stuffed as much fruit and nuts in it as I could. I then left and ran off into the forest in the hopes that there would be a town nearby. It was just turning to summer, hopefully I could find a place to live before winter came. If not, I was going to have to survive on my own. I could do this, I could live without that bastard taking care of me. The more I thought about it, the faster I ran. I would run so far away I would never have to see his face again.
Part 3After a few days traveling through the woods, I came to a village. When I walked up to the village, I saw that all the ponies that were going about their day ran away screaming when I arrived. This didn’t stop me, I had no idea yet why they had run. I walked over to a pony who was cowering behind a bench. “Hello!” I said with a friendly smile. But to the pony, my smile must not have been enough. “Monster!” she screamed before running off. I glanced around looking for this monster she had spoken of. I couldn’t see any sort of beast around. But she couldn’t have been frightened by nothing, what could have scared her? I kept walking through the town, ponies kept running and screaming about a monster when I came near them. I began to think that I was the monster. Surely, I wasn’t that different from them. Yeah, I had wooden claws but I couldn’t help that. I was now walking through an area of the town where there were many stores and shops. Ponies kept running at the sight of me. I glanced around again, certain I wasn’t the monster and saw what they’d been running from. It was a strange pony that looked more like a beast. She had two small protrusions on her head and a snout that resembled a wolf. Her coat was a light green, much like mine. She was standing in front of a shop window. “I’ll protect you!” I said to some nearby ponies that were hiding. I then charged straight at the monster not sure of what else to do. I leaped to tackle her, but instead the pony disappeared and I crashed through the shop’s glass window and into the store. “I’ll get her next time” I said to myself as I dusted the shards of glass off of me. Luckily, I hadn’t been cut. I turned to a family of ponies that was cowering in a corner of the shop. “Don’t worry,” I said gently. “I’ll make sure that monster doesn’t hurt you,” for a moment the fear on the faces of the parents was replaced by confusion. “What are you talking about?” the father said. “You’re the monster, see for yourself. There’s a mirror over there” he pointed to a small rectangle that showed the area of the store behind me. In front of me, I saw the same creature that had been in the shop window. I slowly walked forward and the creature copied me. I raised a hoof, it did the same. The thing copied every single move I made. What game was it playing? After several moments of staring at the creature and watching it copy me, the truth dawned on me. This wasn’t some hideous creature, this was me. I was the monster. I glanced back at the family, they were still cowering in the corner of the shop. A mixture of rage and sadness began to come over me. Rage at everyone for running away when I came near and sadness that this was my appearance. I glanced around slowly, I was in a clothing shop. Perhaps there was something I could use to hide myself. I looked around until I found a black cloak. I grabbed the cloak and threw it over myself before storming out of the town. Perhaps I could find better luck in the next town. I’d be more careful next time. The journey to the next town lasted five days. This time, I stood at the edge of town watching ponies making sure no one saw me underneath my cloak. Everyone seemed to be acting normal so I started to walk in. I made sure to keep my head down so no one would see my face. Things were going smoothly so far. I visited a few shops just to look around. I didn’t have any money, but it was nice to imagine one day being able to afford the things I wanted. When the sun had set, I walked over to the local inn. I walked up to the innkeeper who was currently tending the bar. “Can a weary traveler get a room for the night?” I asked. “That depends, don’t it? Got any bits?” he asked in a somewhat rude tone. I shook my head no. “Then if ya don’t have bits, I can’t give ya a room. Got a family to feed, no one stays for free” he began to walk over to another customer, but I stopped him. “Wait,” I said. “Perhaps I can earn my stay,” I looked around the room. Everyone seemed to be drinking and chatting, some were laughing but not many. “Let me be entertainment for tonight, I’ll give you a show if you give me a room.” “Aight,” the innkeeper said. “It’s a deal, but you better put on a good show. It’s been a while since this place has had any entertainment. Our last bard got old and retired.” What was I doing? I had no experience with an instrument or anything funny to say. Guess I’ll just make it up as I go. I stood up on an empty table to address the room. “Greetings one and all, I am the Hooded Dancer and I have traveled far and wide to provide you with tonight's entertainment” I had no idea what I was saying, words just kept coming out of my mouth. I began to sing some silly song I made up in the spur of the moment as I danced on the table. Eventually, I stumbled and fell off the table. I was too giddy to feel any pain, so I just stood right back up and kept singing. Everyone laughed, they thought it was part of my routine. When I had finished, everyone cheered and clapped. I got back on the table and said “thank you all, I hope you enjoyed the performance. Treasure this moment forever. The Hooded Dancer will be off tomorrow for her next gig” remarkably my hood hadn’t come off. I reached up and touched my horns, they’d grown a bit and were probably what had kept the hood on during the performance. “Excellent work,” the innkeeper said, clapping. “You’ve certainly earned a room at the inn. Is it true you’re leaving tomorrow? I’d love it if you could stay, as I said before it’s been a while since this place has had a good laugh,” “I’m afraid it is true,” I said as the innkeeper led me to my room. “I have places to be” In truth, I had nowhere to go and would have loved to stay. But I was too afraid of what would happen if I was discovered. I stepped inside my room, said goodnight to the innkeeper and closed the door. I then took off my cloak and laid it on a dresser in the corner by the door. I ate some of the fruit from my basket. It was running low, I didn’t know if I’d be able to make it to the next town with what I had. I brushed that thought away, I’d worry about it in the morning. I could probably ask the innkeeper for something I could pack with me. I laid down on the bed and went to sleep. It felt nice not having to sleep on the hard ground for once. I awoke to a creaking sound, I looked up and saw that my door was open. A young pony, about a year older than me was standing in the doorway gaping in surprise. “Don’t scream!” I pleaded, hoping she would listen. I must have forgotten to lock the door and this pony opened it, thinking no one was inside. The pony didn’t listen, she screamed loudly and in a few moments the innkeeper arrived. “What’s this? The so-called ‘Hooded Dancer’ is nothing but a monster,” he said. “Your performance wasn’t even that good,” he then left the room. Probably to call the city guard. I cursed and threw my cloak on. I opened the window and glanced out. I wasn’t too high up, I could probably survive the fall. I glanced back at the doorway, the pony from before had gone. This was a small town, the guards probably weren’t too far and would be here soon. I took a running leap and jumped out the window. I fell for a couple of seconds before landing in a pile of wood. It hurt a little, but I didn't have time for pain. I ran into the street and stopped to glance behind me. The guards were right on my tail. I took off running, doing my best to evade them. But they knew these streets better than I and were always around the corner. I ran over to a house on the edge of the town but the guards were waiting for me. I leaped to climb the building. The guards swung their swords, cutting off my tail, but I landed on the side of the building and climbed to the top. One of the unicorn guards teleported up to meet me, but by then I had already leaped off the roof and into a nearby tree. This was my life now, I was on the run. They would hunt me all across Equestria until I was dead or captured. Now I couldn’t linger in any town I stayed in. Nor could I hope to settle down and make a home.
Part 5I was now on my way back to Night Twister’s lab. He was right. I was just a monster. If I couldn’t be a pony, I’d be a monster. The greatest monster in Equestria. Fate seemed determined to cast me in this role, so I would embrace it. As I drew closer and closer to the place that had been my home for a good part of my life, I began to wonder. Did he miss me? Sure, he treated me terribly but maybe he loved me deep down. I was almost there. I had just passed the first village I visited, the place where I saw my reflection for the first time. I’d also begun to hunt for food like a true wolf. That was how I’d sustained myself for the journey. After about thirty minutes, the lab came into view. It was strange, I felt a sense of longing for a place I had wanted to escape just a year ago. I approached the door and went to knock, but I heard him talking inside and went by the window to listen. When I glanced in, I saw him writing notes down and talking to himself as he did so. “That’s what I need to do with this one!” Night Twister exclaimed as he scribbled more notes down that I couldn’t see. “If I splice Changeling DNA into her, she’ll be able to transform from pony to timberwolf. But what if it throws off the balance?” he gripped his head in frustration. “And I’ll leave her in a wooded area that is home to Timberwolves. That way, they’ll raise her as their own and she’ll be a true monster. Not like my prototype at all. That one was just a failure.” My heart split in two. Not only did he still think I was a failure, but he was planning to replace me as well. That bastard! I should have expected this. I pounded my fist on the wall, which sent a thud into the cabin. “Who’s there?” Night Twister said as he put down his notes. He started walking toward the door. I couldn’t face him. Not now, when my heart was broken. I was still a failure to him. I ran as fast as I could, trying to get as far away from there as I could before Night Twister opened the door. Now that I’d visited, I realized I couldn’t go through with being a monster. What was I? I couldn’t be a pony and I wouldn’t be a monster. An animal? Was I an animal, just trying its best to survive a cold cruel world? That had to be it. I’d find an isolated wood and live out the remainder of my days there. I kept running as fast as I could. Eventually, I stopped. What was I thinking? How could I live with just the company of animals? I’d be forever alone with no one to talk to. Very well, I would have it both ways. Isolation and company. Back when Baguette was showing me the map of Equestria, there was a place to the north labeled Yakyakistan where creatures called Yaks lived. Tears filled my eyes as I thought of that memory. I’d ruined Baguette’s life; I no longer deserved the name he gave me. Willow. It was the name of a tree he’d said. No! Stop thinking about that, it’s too painful. Better to not think at all, live off of instinct. I began my journey north. I walked the entire way. As the air got colder, I felt refreshed. I hoped the climate would freeze my heart and make it so that I no longer felt the pain of my past. The journey was long and difficult. At night, I would do my best to find a cave or something to keep warm. A few times I’d run into some ponies and large fluffy creatures camping. While I longed to come up to their warm fire, I forced myself to stay away. That would only end in disaster. I gave them quite a scare, though. They might not have seen me, but I didn’t doubt they’d heard me. When I finally made it to Yakyakistan, I saw more of the large fluffy creatures. They seemed to live in villages. A lot of them wore pointy helmets that, in addition to their size, scared me. I wouldn’t want to get in a fight with one of them. Began walking away from the village, hoping to find a place to set up my den. Not too far from the village, I didn’t want to feel alone but not too close either. Eventually, I found the perfect place. Far enough away where no one would find me, but close enough to where I could hear the village. I began digging. I’d seen a couple of other animals digging dens on my journey here and I did my best to copy them. Once my den was dug, I searched for leaves to fill it with. That way, I could have a comfortable bed. Not only that, but it might provide insulation from the snow. After my den was complete, I began hunting for food. I ate some and cached the rest in places I’d be able to remember. The first night was difficult. A fox wandered near my den, so I emerged and growled at it. I didn’t think my growl was that scary, but maybe my size scared it because as soon as it saw me it ran off whimpering. I would have to defend my territory, if I wanted to stay. That fox wouldn’t be the last challenger. The next day, I set scent markers around my den. Unfortunately, the area wasn’t big enough so as the winter came in full force I found myself wandering into other territories for food. Next winter, I expanded my territory. Establishing dominance over the previous owners like a conqueror. But I didn’t want the territory for some stupid reason like greed, I needed it to survive. I made sure to only take as much territory as I needed and let the other animals have enough for themselves. Years passed this way. Each year, I would hunt and store food for the winter. Then when it came, I would eat and defend my territory. A few times, I wandered near the town and stole newspapers from the mailpony’s cart. It was the only way I could keep the balance between the wolf and the pony that I was composed of. I’d read the papers at the end of the day, by the light of the sunset. That was how I’d learned of my replacement. She’d been living in a place called Dodge City, but in the paper I was reading, she’d disappeared a few days ago. Of course, my papers were probably out of date. I searched through the pile of unread papers and found one that told of a timberwolf working with a vampire and a snake pony. It sounded like fiction to me, and I ignored it. But about a week later, the vampire showed up. He was walking through the forest with an axe one night. I racked my brain, trying to remember the name of my… I guess she was my sister. I think the paper said she was Misty Leaves. I followed the vampire into the town. What was I thinking? But, I’d heard from the papers that Misty carried a magic amulet. Maybe that amulet could make me look normal. I needed that amulet. By the time he reached the town, I realized the sun was rising. If I went in now, someone might see me. Better to wait until the next night. That way I’d have time to learn more about this stranger. I scoured my collection of papers for more information about the vampire and my sister. According to reports, Misty looked like a normal pony during the day but at night she changed into the timberwolf. It must have been the amulet. As night fell again, I worked up the courage to enter the village. I told myself over and over that no one would be out and about this time of night. But my heart beat faster and faster as I entered the village and searched for the vampire’s hut. I found him quite easily, his was the only door that wasn’t locked. Perhaps he thought himself too powerful to lock a door. Or perhaps the fool forgot to lock the door when he went to sleep. Either way, I entered and stood there waiting for him to wake up. When he finally did, I spoke to him. “You,” I said to him. “I’ve heard of you. You work with my sister. Take me to her!” it came out a bit more demanding than I intended, but I was desperate. “Hold on,” the vampire said as he got out of bed and turned the lights on. He stared at me for several minutes. “Yes, I’m a monster,” I said to him. I was eager to get going as fast as possible. “Take me to my sister now! I’ve read a few papers, I know she works with you. She calls herself Misty Leaves,” the vampire sighed. Finally, he was giving in. He saw that he had no choice and was going to do as I asked. “Alright, I’ll take you to her,” the vampire said. He walked out of the hut. I followed him and watched as he walked over to a different hut and poured a brown liquid into a cup. Once he was done with one, he took out another cup and poured more brown liquid into it. “What are you doing?” I asked as he handed me the cup. “For the road,” he said as he threw some coins on the hut’s counter and began to walk out of the village. I followed him. “We’ll be taking the long way back to Manehattan since I don’t exactly know what your intentions are with Misty,” he took a sip from his cup and smiled. “Plus, we can get to know each other. My name’s Shadow Fang, what’s yours?” I was silent as I followed him out of the village. My name? I’d had a name once. What was it? Now that I thought about it, I didn’t remember much about my past. As we finally exited the village, something came into my head. It was a name I’d heard before. But I wasn’t sure about it. “I don’t remember much of who I was before this,” I said. “Just call me Prota.”
Part 4Remember how I said that in my adolescent years, the changes I faced were more than physical? This is where those started. I’d lost track of how long I’d been traveling and I had run out of food a few days ago. Now, whenever I would see a deer or any other creature my stomach would growl. I was actually beginning to consider killing a creature and eating it, despite the moral implications of such an action. But even my morals were put to the test as I was faced with a difficult question: Is killing really wrong when you do it to survive? I fought this for as long as I could. I would not prove Night Twister right by killing an innocent creature just to survive. If I did that, I would become something less than a pony. An animal, or worse, a monster. That would not happen, I told myself. I foraged for berries, but often stopped, not knowing if they were safe or not. I traveled this way, not eating anything, until I came to a town. My heart pounded as I stared at it. It was bigger than the villages I’d visited previously. What could I do? I couldn’t go in for fear of being caught and I couldn’t stay on the edge of the town without fear of starvation. I began to walk around the perimeter of the town not sure of my next action. Eventually, I saw a young foal playing on the edge of the town. I walked over to approach him, staying in the shadows where he couldn’t see me. On one hoof, I didn’t want to be seen. What if he got scared and ran off to tell his parents or something? But on the other hoof, I needed help. Maybe he could steal food for me or something? I began to pace as I pondered this dilemma. Finally, fate decided for me. I accidentally stepped on a twig, snapping it. “Who’s there?” the young foal shouted. He looked to be about five or six years old. “Mother said there might be monsters in the woods. Are you a monster?” I hated that word. I was not a monster and I never would be. After making sure my cloak was secured, I stepped closer to the young boy. “No monsters,” I said in my most reassuring voice. “Just a traveler in need of food,” the young foal smiled at me. He was a yellow pegasus with a blue mane. “If you need food, come with me!” he shouted excitedly. “My mommy makes the best fruit tarts in town! She owns a bakery. I bet she would give you bread and a place to stay for the night if you asked.” The foal began to trot off toward the village, but he stopped halfway when he realized I wasn’t following him. “Aren’t you coming?” he asked with a confused look. “I can't,” I said as sorrow began to fill me. Why couldn’t I just have a normal life? “I’m afraid. I’m different, your mother might be scared of me and lock me up” this only seemed to confuse the young foal even more. “My mommy likes everypony! I doubt you’d be an exception. She’s pretty much friends with everyone in town. She even gets along with Ol’ Smeller, and he doesn't get along with anyone” I smiled. I was beginning to like this kid. He filled me with optimism, but I couldn’t take the risk. “I can show you why I can’t come, if you promise not to scream” This was a risk I had to take. If I didn’t show him who I was, he might drag me into town whether I liked it or not. “Do you promise?” I made sure to say it in a way that let him know I was serious. The young foal nodded and I removed my cloak. He gasped in surprise, but didn’t scream. “You’re a monster!” he cried joyfully. “I’m friends with a monster!” there was that word again. The one that had haunted me all my life. “You can’t tell anyone, or I might be taken away from you” I told him seriously. “And please stop calling me that, I don’t like it,” I stared at the young foal. “Stop calling you what?” he asked, not understanding. That was the problem with young ponies. They were very trusting, but sometimes didn’t understand. Could I bring myself to say it? I’d have to try if I wanted him to stop. I started to say it, but it came out slowly. “Mmmmmonsssster” I’d have to try again. It took several embarrassing attempts, but eventually I was able to force it out. “Monster!” I spat the word like a piece of rotted fruit. “Don’t call me a monster. It’s not who I am,” “Then what should I call you?” the young foal asked. “Do you have a name?” a name? I’d never been given a name before. What was it that Night Twister had called me? No, don’t go there. You can’t have a name he gave you. Besides, all those names weren’t too nice. “I don’t have one,” I said finally. “Perhaps you could give me one?” It wasn’t too much to ask, I thought. I wanted a name now, it wasn’t something that I had known before. But if I wanted to be a pony, I would need a name. “Ok,” the foal said as he thought for a few minutes. After a while his eyes widened as an idea came into his little head. “How about Willow? It’s the name of a tree, I learned it in school. And since you seem to have some wood on you, it would fit, right?” he stared at me earnestly awaiting my approval. “Willow,” I said, testing the name out. I liked the sound of it. It would be my name. “I like it,” I shouted excitedly. “My name is Willow, what’s yours?” “I’m Baguette” the young foal said as he held out his hoof to me. I stared at it blankly, not sure what to do. Finally, Baguette took my claw and placed it on his outstretched hoof. “It’s called a hoof shake,” he explained. “Ponies do it when they meet each other. It’s another thing I learned in school,” that was the second time he’d said that word. School. “What’s school?” I asked. He seemed shocked at my question. Had I said something wrong? “What?” asked. I needed to know if I’d made a mistake. If I wanted to live with other ponies, I had to make sure that I said and did things right. “Oh, it’s just I’m surprised you’ve never heard of school before” he said casually. “But it’s fine, you probably grew up in the forest and never heard about it. School’s great! It’s this building where me and other ponies learn about stuff. How to read, write, the history of Equestria, and a whole lot of other stuff!” he jumped up and down as he said these things. “I’ll have to see if I can’t sneak off with some books tomorrow so that I can teach you!” He then raced off and I wondered if I would ever see him again. My first friend! I was so excited, I leaped into the air. See Night Twister? I’m not a monster! Monsters don’t have friends. Baguette returned later that night with a loaf of bread and an apple for me to eat. As I ate, Baguette told me all about his life here in this little town. He said the town was called Berryberg and that the road that led out of the town was called Raspberry Road. Baguette also explained that the town and road had been named that way because of all the berries that grew around it. After I’d finished eating, Baguette helped me find a place to sleep and build a bed of leaves that I could be comfortable in. It was fall, soon winter would roll in and then I would have to worry about freezing. But I didn’t think of that, I was sure that Baguette would take care of me. Each day, I would hide in the bushes and in the afternoon when Baguette got done with school he would bring me a fruit tart and teach me things he had learned in school. I learned to read. It was something that Night Twister had never taught me. He probably thought that if I became who he wanted me to be, it would be safer to send messages with magic. After Baguette had taught me how to read, I began to learn how to write. He brought an inkwell with him and watched me as I dipped my claws in it and wrote words. Simple ones at first, but then I was writing longer words, and then sentences. He taught me everything about math, geography, history, and science. It was so thrilling to learn things that were previously unknown to me. As my reading skills improved, it began a tradition for us to sit in the forest together and read a book. I would read and Baguette would listen, correcting me or helping me pronounce a word if I got stuck. It was great, I was living the way I had always dreamed. But it was not to last. One night, while we were reading a young filly came up to us. “I always wondered what you were doing in the woods at night, Baggy,” the filly said. Baguette sat up and scowled at her. “Go away, Harm Queen,” Baguette said to her before turning to me. “That’s Harmony Bliss, I call her Harm Queen because she’s always mean to me and the younger ponies in class,” he then turned back to Harmony and shouted at her. “My friend here, will tear your face off if you don’t leave!” he gestured to me. I’d never hurt anypony, he was probably just saying that to scare her off. “Oh, I'm shaking in my boots,” Harmony said sarcastically. “I told my father and he rounded up the town guard to catch the boy who was friends with a monster. I saw you together yesterday! I don’t know what you’re planning, beast, but you’re not going to use Baggy to take over our town!” With that, Baguette’s parents and four guards stepped out of hiding and surrounded us. “Please, son, don’t do this!” Baguette’s father said to him. “You can’t trust her, she’s been using you to get what she wants,” his mother also begged him to come back to them. “Behind me,” I said to Baguette as I stood up. I knew what was coming. No matter what happened next, a fight would break out. I had to protect Baguette. “No!” Baguette shouted. “You don’t understand, she just wants a home. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone!” “That’s what she wants you to think,” Baguette’s mother said. “You’re going to come back one way or the other. Either come willingly, or the guard will drag you back to a cell at the jailhouse” when Baguette stomped his hoof on the ground indicating his decision, his mother stared at him sadly. “Very well,” she said sadly. The guards then advanced on me. I gave over to instinct. My rage over having my heaven ripped away from me fueled my actions. I leaped at the guards and tacked two to the ground. I bit at their throats killing them before turning to the other two. They screamed and started running. I chased after them but Baguette stood in my way. I saw his mouth move, but couldn’t hear the words. He was probably pleading for me to stop. But I was too enraged to listen. My prey was escaping and I wouldn’t let that happen. I slashed at Baguette’s face, clawing his eyes. He screamed in pain, but I was too focused to hear it. I ran farther, getting closer to the guards, but I was stopped again by Baguette’s parents. “What did you do to my son!” his mother shouted as she charged at me but a mother’s rage couldn’t stop the fury of a timberwolf. I scratched at her chest and she fell to the ground. But his father stepped in front of me. I leaped and placed a claw on his neck as I thrust forward, using the action to gain momentum. I kept running, but I soon realized the two guards had escaped. As soon as I stopped the fog of anger lifted and I saw what my actions had done. Baguette’s father lay next to his mother. Blood seeped out of the father’s neck, already dead, while Baguette’s mother choked and coughed in her last moments. Farther on, Baguette was screaming while Harmony was smiling smugly, knowing she was right. No! It couldn’t be true. My anger at the guards was now replaced by anger at myself. As well as sadness. I really was a monster. I had no one to blame except myself. I could blame Harmony for leading the guards to me, but it had been my claws that blinded my best friend and killed his parents. I ran off into the woods, not looking back. That damn bastard was right, I was nothing but a monster, and I always would be.
