Prota's Journey

Remember how I said that in my adolescent years, the changes I faced were more than physical? This is where those started. I’d lost track of how long I’d been traveling and I had run out of food a few days ago. Now, whenever I would see a deer or any other creature my stomach would growl. I was actually beginning to consider killing a creature and eating it, despite the moral implications of such an action. But even my morals were put to the test as I was faced with a difficult question: Is killing really wrong when you do it to survive?

I fought this for as long as I could. I would not prove Night Twister right by killing an innocent creature just to survive. If I did that, I would become something less than a pony. An animal, or worse, a monster. That would not happen, I told myself. I foraged for berries, but often stopped, not knowing if they were safe or not. I traveled this way, not eating anything, until I came to a town. My heart pounded as I stared at it. It was bigger than the villages I’d visited previously.

What could I do? I couldn’t go in for fear of being caught and I couldn’t stay on the edge of the town without fear of starvation. I began to walk around the perimeter of the town not sure of my next action. Eventually, I saw a young foal playing on the edge of the town. I walked over to approach him, staying in the shadows where he couldn’t see me. On one hoof, I didn’t want to be seen. What if he got scared and ran off to tell his parents or something? But on the other hoof, I needed help. Maybe he could steal food for me or something? I began to pace as I pondered this dilemma. Finally, fate decided for me. I accidentally stepped on a twig, snapping it.

“Who’s there?” the young foal shouted. He looked to be about five or six years old. “Mother said there might be monsters in the woods. Are you a monster?” I hated that word. I was not a monster and I never would be. After making sure my cloak was secured, I stepped closer to the young boy.

“No monsters,” I said in my most reassuring voice. “Just a traveler in need of food,” the young foal smiled at me. He was a yellow pegasus with a blue mane.

“If you need food, come with me!” he shouted excitedly. “My mommy makes the best fruit tarts in town! She owns a bakery. I bet she would give you bread and a place to stay for the night if you asked.” The foal began to trot off toward the village, but he stopped halfway when he realized I wasn’t following him. “Aren’t you coming?” he asked with a confused look.

“I can't,” I said as sorrow began to fill me. Why couldn’t I just have a normal life? “I’m afraid. I’m different, your mother might be scared of me and lock me up” this only seemed to confuse the young foal even more.

“My mommy likes everypony! I doubt you’d be an exception. She’s pretty much friends with everyone in town. She even gets along with Ol’ Smeller, and he doesn't get along with anyone” I smiled. I was beginning to like this kid. He filled me with optimism, but I couldn’t take the risk.

“I can show you why I can’t come, if you promise not to scream” This was a risk I had to take. If I didn’t show him who I was, he might drag me into town whether I liked it or not. “Do you promise?” I made sure to say it in a way that let him know I was serious. The young foal nodded and I removed my cloak. He gasped in surprise, but didn’t scream.

“You’re a monster!” he cried joyfully. “I’m friends with a monster!” there was that word again. The one that had haunted me all my life.

“You can’t tell anyone, or I might be taken away from you” I told him seriously. “And please stop calling me that, I don’t like it,” I stared at the young foal.

“Stop calling you what?” he asked, not understanding. That was the problem with young ponies. They were very trusting, but sometimes didn’t understand. Could I bring myself to say it? I’d have to try if I wanted him to stop.

I started to say it, but it came out slowly. “Mmmmmonsssster” I’d have to try again. It took several embarrassing attempts, but eventually I was able to force it out. “Monster!” I spat the word like a piece of rotted fruit. “Don’t call me a monster. It’s not who I am,”

“Then what should I call you?” the young foal asked. “Do you have a name?” a name? I’d never been given a name before. What was it that Night Twister had called me? No, don’t go there. You can’t have a name he gave you. Besides, all those names weren’t too nice.

“I don’t have one,” I said finally. “Perhaps you could give me one?” It wasn’t too much to ask, I thought. I wanted a name now, it wasn’t something that I had known before. But if I wanted to be a pony, I would need a name.

“Ok,” the foal said as he thought for a few minutes. After a while his eyes widened as an idea came into his little head. “How about Willow? It’s the name of a tree, I learned it in school. And since you seem to have some wood on you, it would fit, right?” he stared at me earnestly awaiting my approval.

“Willow,” I said, testing the name out. I liked the sound of it. It would be my name. “I like it,” I shouted excitedly. “My name is Willow, what’s yours?”

“I’m Baguette” the young foal said as he held out his hoof to me. I stared at it blankly, not sure what to do. Finally, Baguette took my claw and placed it on his outstretched hoof. “It’s called a hoof shake,” he explained. “Ponies do it when they meet each other. It’s another thing I learned in school,” that was the second time he’d said that word. School.

“What’s school?” I asked. He seemed shocked at my question. Had I said something wrong? “What?” asked. I needed to know if I’d made a mistake. If I wanted to live with other ponies, I had to make sure that I said and did things right.
“Oh, it’s just I’m surprised you’ve never heard of school before” he said casually. “But it’s fine, you probably grew up in the forest and never heard about it. School’s great! It’s this building where me and other ponies learn about stuff. How to read, write, the history of Equestria, and a whole lot of other stuff!” he jumped up and down as he said these things. “I’ll have to see if I can’t sneak off with some books tomorrow so that I can teach you!” He then raced off and I wondered if I would ever see him again.

My first friend! I was so excited, I leaped into the air. See Night Twister? I’m not a monster! Monsters don’t have friends. Baguette returned later that night with a loaf of bread and an apple for me to eat. As I ate, Baguette told me all about his life here in this little town. He said the town was called Berryberg and that the road that led out of the town was called Raspberry Road. Baguette also explained that the town and road had been named that way because of all the berries that grew around it.

After I’d finished eating, Baguette helped me find a place to sleep and build a bed of leaves that I could be comfortable in. It was fall, soon winter would roll in and then I would have to worry about freezing. But I didn’t think of that, I was sure that Baguette would take care of me. Each day, I would hide in the bushes and in the afternoon when Baguette got done with school he would bring me a fruit tart and teach me things he had learned in school.

I learned to read. It was something that Night Twister had never taught me. He probably thought that if I became who he wanted me to be, it would be safer to send messages with magic. After Baguette had taught me how to read, I began to learn how to write. He brought an inkwell with him and watched me as I dipped my claws in it and wrote words. Simple ones at first, but then I was writing longer words, and then sentences. He taught me everything about math, geography, history, and science. It was so thrilling to learn things that were previously unknown to me.

As my reading skills improved, it began a tradition for us to sit in the forest together and read a book. I would read and Baguette would listen, correcting me or helping me pronounce a word if I got stuck. It was great, I was living the way I had always dreamed. But it was not to last. One night, while we were reading a young filly came up to us.

“I always wondered what you were doing in the woods at night, Baggy,” the filly said. Baguette sat up and scowled at her.

“Go away, Harm Queen,” Baguette said to her before turning to me. “That’s Harmony Bliss, I call her Harm Queen because she’s always mean to me and the younger ponies in class,” he then turned back to Harmony and shouted at her. “My friend here, will tear your face off if you don’t leave!” he gestured to me. I’d never hurt anypony, he was probably just saying that to scare her off.

“Oh, I'm shaking in my boots,” Harmony said sarcastically. “I told my father and he rounded up the town guard to catch the boy who was friends with a monster. I saw you together yesterday! I don’t know what you’re planning, beast, but you’re not going to use Baggy to take over our town!” With that, Baguette’s parents and four guards stepped out of hiding and surrounded us.

“Please, son, don’t do this!” Baguette’s father said to him. “You can’t trust her, she’s been using you to get what she wants,” his mother also begged him to come back to them.

“Behind me,” I said to Baguette as I stood up. I knew what was coming. No matter what happened next, a fight would break out. I had to protect Baguette.

“No!” Baguette shouted. “You don’t understand, she just wants a home. She doesn’t want to hurt anyone!”

“That’s what she wants you to think,” Baguette’s mother said. “You’re going to come back one way or the other. Either come willingly, or the guard will drag you back to a cell at the jailhouse” when Baguette stomped his hoof on the ground indicating his decision, his mother stared at him sadly. “Very well,” she said sadly. The guards then advanced on me.

I gave over to instinct. My rage over having my heaven ripped away from me fueled my actions. I leaped at the guards and tacked two to the ground. I bit at their throats killing them before turning to the other two. They screamed and started running. I chased after them but Baguette stood in my way.

I saw his mouth move, but couldn’t hear the words. He was probably pleading for me to stop. But I was too enraged to listen. My prey was escaping and I wouldn’t let that happen. I slashed at Baguette’s face, clawing his eyes. He screamed in pain, but I was too focused to hear it. I ran farther, getting closer to the guards, but I was stopped again by Baguette’s parents.

“What did you do to my son!” his mother shouted as she charged at me but a mother’s rage couldn’t stop the fury of a timberwolf. I scratched at her chest and she fell to the ground. But his father stepped in front of me. I leaped and placed a claw on his neck as I thrust forward, using the action to gain momentum. I kept running, but I soon realized the two guards had escaped.

As soon as I stopped the fog of anger lifted and I saw what my actions had done. Baguette’s father lay next to his mother. Blood seeped out of the father’s neck, already dead, while Baguette’s mother choked and coughed in her last moments. Farther on, Baguette was screaming while Harmony was smiling smugly, knowing she was right.

No! It couldn’t be true. My anger at the guards was now replaced by anger at myself. As well as sadness. I really was a monster. I had no one to blame except myself. I could blame Harmony for leading the guards to me, but it had been my claws that blinded my best friend and killed his parents. I ran off into the woods, not looking back. That damn bastard was right, I was nothing but a monster, and I always would be.