Thoughts of a Failure

by Goldminer23

Rating: teen
Tags: Tragedy, Profanity, Scootaloo, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Rainbow Dash
Length: 3914

What does someone who’s been considered a failure by society think about when abandoned for twenty years?

Nobody knows what went through Scootaloo’s Absentia’s mind for those twenty years she was abandoned in the main theater room. Well, only she truly knows, but perhaps it was always meant to be. Until now, that is. Enter if you dare to discover the dark secrets that have been hidden for so long.

So this is my entry into the Rainbow Factory Contest hosted by AuroraDawn themselves. It probably won’t win but what the heck, there’s a chance.

Published 2021-09-06 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-09-06 16:30:01 UTC

Her story

Author's Note

Ok so, yeah this is probably a dumpster fire of a story, since I’ve never properly written a story before but what the hell, I’ll try something. But thanks AuroraDawn for making this highly influential series started off based on a song. And thanks for the people who helped me make improvements to this horrid story.

Her story

Oh, Scootaloo… Why? How could you fail me like that?

Those were the last words she said to me. “How could you fail me like that?” Didn’t matter that we were practically family, it was all about pleasing her. For the past few weeks I kept screaming, begging to be rescued by somepony, anypony, but help never came. I tried reaching out to Princess Luna, but she never came to investigate my nightmares. Maybe they figured out how to prevent her from accessing the dreams of the ponies who work here permanently. The only time I see somepony is when they give me whatever grub they call a “meal” and some water. I tried talking to them, seeing if I could eventually convince them to help me get out of here, but every time I started to get them to talk about themselves, they were replaced by somepony else. I keep questioning why she even kept me alive? Was it because of our relationship? Or was it because she feels guilty… Nah it can’t be that, that mare didn’t feel remorse for any of those other pegasi. Only Celestia knows, but what I do know is that when I get out, I’m gonna destroy this damned factory. Bit. By. Bit.

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I tried starving myself to try and get loose and escape, unfortunately the guards noticed my plan and forcefully fed me with their grub, disgusting stuff but nutritious. I knew it wouldn’t be that easy. Damn, now I’ve got to figure out how I’m going to escape this room, maybe I can try the vents again? I just have to find a way to escape these forsaken shackles, I think I can find a way to pick this lock, I got locked outside of her house enough times to be halfway decent.

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Well, it was harder than usual, these shackles are rusted to all get out and it hurt my neck to see the lock, but I had my lock pick still in my mane, thanks for that tip Pinkie. They’ve blocked off the vents with fans that are constantly running so no escaping that way. But now I can at least get out of those shackles so I can roam around this accursed room.

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It’s been a month and a half since I failed my flight test and discovered that the mare I believed was my sister was nothing but a genocidal maniac. I’ve been counting the days since then. The only reason I can is because my sleep schedule is still on time. But that won’t last forever. Maybe I can swipe a watch off of the guard next time they come in to feed me. I have to admit that I’m starting to get used to the grub, it doesn’t taste too bad now. Also found a clipboard and a pencil, but unfortunately no paper, so counting the cracks is still my only pastime.

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I was able to snag the watch off of my last guard, I even got lucky enough that it even shows the date. He had his hoof too close to my face, he should’ve expected to get bitten by me. Hurt like a bitch to get punched in the gut with a full stomach, but it was worth it. I asked him why they rotate guards every month. He told me that only the guards who made mistakes are sent down here to care for me. Unfortunately they experience “industrial accidents” whenever they show remorse or even mention my name. Even they weren’t safe from this damn factory. They didn’t even do anything wrong! Whenever I get out of this Celestia-forsaken room, I’m gonna destroy her! That’s a Pinkie promise!

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It’s been three months since I watched Orion die at the hooves of that bitch. She killed the stallion I loved. She said she loved me, cared about me, fought for me, but all of that was a lie. How could she say she’s the element of loyalty if she isn’t even loyal enough to care about family… why? Why didn’t you save me from this?

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It’s been eight months since that day. Even though I can’t remember Sweetie Belle or Applebloom’s faces, I hope they can at least remember mine. I can still remember our clubhouse we built together. All of the times we went hunting for our cutie marks, and utterly failed, but we all had fun. I remember all of the fan club meetings I set up for who I thought was the best pony in Equestria, and how she was so excited that she had a fan club. I was an idiot thinking about it now, but how could I have known? She was my idol, but now, she’s just an empty husk of a pony I used to know… I almost forgot, today is my birthday. I could’ve gone to Applebloom’s family and tried some of their hard cider with my friends… maybe they’ll be nicer and let me have a slice of cake and some cider… who am I kidding? They hardly acknowledge me anymore, but I could hope at least… Happy birthday to me…

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I’ve been hearing a lot of loud noises coming from above me. I wonder what they’re building? Maybe they’re renovating the factory? I tried yelling out in hope that the crew would hear me, but instead a guard came in and told me to keep it down, I tried it again and got beaten. That wasn’t a smart idea, maybe I should try and gain some trust from them by assisting wherever possible. I am rather strong and can fit into tight spaces. Why didn’t I think of this before? Heh, that’s why Sweetie was always the smart one.

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Ouch, maybe that wasn’t the best idea but they agreed to it. They gave my proposal to the Director and she personally approved it. Now I’m being used as a material transport for the steel beams to construct the frame and any parts that the fabricators need. Turns out I’m not the only pegasus failure that’s being used to assist in building this new factory. Only problem is that if they can’t perform their job they’re made into spectra… I want to start another uprising, but I’m not sure it’ll work this time.

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I’m starting to get more muscular wings, maybe by the end of building this factory I’ll look like Bulk Bicep. Wouldn’t that be funny, a scrawny filly with enormous wings who managed to fail her flight test. At least they’re kind enough to give me slightly more grub than usual because of my strenuous work.

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My Celestia, this new factory is going to have six floors filled with multiple devices, sleeping quarters, and even a cafeteria! How many ponies are they planning on having up here? This could house several hundred employees, but, where will they get them? This isn’t exactly a job you post in a newspaper.

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Turns out I was wrong about housing several hundred ponies, but only about a hundred and twenty employees. Floor six has an emergency escape that they have chained up with several guards keeping an eye on. They made sure nopony will escape here.

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Now that the upper factory is nearly completed, I could try and escape next time they come to retrieve me to get the final touches done. Shouldn’t be too hard, they won’t expect me to rebel again, especially after the “tiring” work they’ve been making me do.

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I got so close to freedom, I was only a few steps from escaping this Tartarus through the bay door. I got caught because some maintenance pony saw me coming out of the room. I was so close to freedom, so so close.

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I’m now doomed to be stuck here. Now whenever I get fed, there’s two guards keeping an eye on me just to make sure I don’t try anything again… Why can’t I ever win? Why?

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It’s been two weeks since I almost escaped. I’m gonna bide my time and watch everything they do and learn their patterns. It might take a few months, maybe a year, but when they slip up, that’s when I’ll strike. Hehe, maybe she will come down here, I’ll show her who the failure is, I’ll show her...

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Well, I’m getting so bored now. Uhg, why couldn’t there be any paper in this damn room? Maybe one of the guards could give me some paper if I give them a good enough reason. I think I’m going to make sure they don’t get any peace or quiet. They’re going to tell me to stop, but I won’t until I get what I want.

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Well, they’re getting irritated from my whining, complaining, and just making as much noise as possible to get their attention and irritate them into giving me something to write on. It’s going to hurt when they attempt to make me be submissive but I’m gonna keep making the noise until I get what I want.

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Well, I think it’s working, they keep telling me to quit making so much noise and being distracting to the workers above, and I told them not until I have some paper to mess with. They told me no. I kept the noise up for another three weeks, and I think they’re gonna bargain with me to stop making noise.

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Well, we bargained, I got myself some paper, and they got some peace and quiet. I started writing up systems for how to keep the maintenance ponies from getting into industrial accidents while cleaning the machines. Now I’ll hand them to my guards when they come to feed me. Maybe that’ll get me some more schematics about the New Factory, that way when I finally escape I know exactly how to leave… It's a long shot, but it’s the only chance I’ve got.

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It worked! They gave me schematics for the “mixers” that they’re developing. Apparently they figured out how to infuse steel or Kevlar into the clouds making them stronger but just as light. Everything for this one was just kind of changing a few numbers. I mean really even an amateur could’ve done this better than whoever made this. Whoever made this needs some re-education. Maybe I could put that into the notes… nah, that’d be counterproductive to my goal.

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Sweet Celestia! They’re using high powered ice crystallizers, I thought that was only theoretically possible, but somehow they managed to pull it off… I’m gonna have a great time looking at these schematics now.

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Wow, that was actually really easy once I figured out the science behind it. But now I want to keep looking at it, because I want to keep learning about all of the theoretical processes that they’ll use. Now I feel like a school filly getting a new toy to play with. Heh, at least I’m not insane like all of the other ponies here.

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They approved my request to keep the schematics of the crystallizer as long as I provide them with any information about any improvements I discover. Obviously I agreed to their terms since I really wanted to see the science behind it, and maybe even improve it, probably not but maybe!

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Well today they want me to improve their cloud solidifiers, I mean, why would they even need me to improve them? Even the Director could improve them, but what the Tartarus, it gives me something else to do other than look at the walls of this stupid room. Hmm, I wonder if they would give me something to liven this room up?

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Those damn guards wouldn’t give me anything to decorate this room with, giving me excuses like “No you can’t have a Daring Do poster it’s against company policy.” or “No, director Dash prohibited any personal decorations in the factory.” Bah, those two have no idea how boring it gets in here.

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Today they wanted my improvements for the cloud solidifier, I told the two impatient guards I just needed an hour or two to get everything done for them, I lied, it only took me twenty three minutes to make the stupid thing more efficient and safer. I just sat on my flank making rude gestures towards them. I know they couldn’t see me, but fuck them, they’re too whiny…

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They finally gave me something to liven up the room. Granted it was a poster advertising the upper factory, but it’s something at least. They told me they’ve got something that even their best engineers have had trouble improving. It’s probably nothing, just some lazy bastard wanting to push their work off onto somepony else… I wonder who it could be? I wonder what schematics they'll bring me. Lightning production? Breeze generators? So many possibilities.

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Oh sweet Celestia, they gave me the schematics for the pegasus devices… oh Celestia I think I’m gonna be sick… no I can’t, I need to make this more safe and efficient otherwise they’ll stop letting me have access to them… sweet Celestia there’s so many of these now, this is gonna take me a while...

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It’s been seven months since they let me start making the new factory more safe and efficient. They gave me the schematics for the pegasus devices three months ago. I’m stuck on these damned schematics, they all have a singular drainage system for spectra and a straining system to prevent anyone in the lower factory discovering how it’s actually made. On top of that, I have to figure out how to keep them running at a constant temperature without overheating due to the stress of grinding up failures. According to the error notes it’s also getting jammed every other failure. Celestia forgive me for what I’m going to do.

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I’ve got the screening process perfected to where nopony needs to even watch the outflow of spectra. I mean if they want to sure but it’s pointless. I’ve also got the spectra separator improved to the point the only way to improve it further is with a unicorn's magic, but why would they do that? This is Cloudsdale, they only hire pegasi, not unicorns. Now the most challenging part, devising a cleaning system that can run completely on its own without flaws and fixing the device errors.

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I fixed the device errors thanks to some general physics. It just needed an additional four choppers to turn the failures into a finer paste making the grinders at the bottom of the device work less than they used to. Now it’ll constantly operate in the optimal temperature range. Now… the cleaning system… this might finally push me towards the edge of my sanity, but we’ll just have to wait and see… I can show the failures what happens when you get in my way.

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Arrg! I can’t get this damn cleaning system to work! It keeps getting clogged up with all of the debris from the screening process. Maybe I need to go back to the screening process to solve this issue...

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I got it, it’s so simple, it’s oh so simple. All it needed was some good old fashioned forced induction! Now it’s perfect! Everything’s perfect! Perfectly perfect.

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Told me they needed me to improve the high pressure transport system from scratch. I already had some ideas, now I know where everything goes. Perfect perfect perfect!

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I improved the liquid lightning pipes to handle the volatile liquid. I even added a bypass valve that’ll empty it into a specialized container. It was rather monotonous to do all of the calculations but it’s slightly comforting.

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Damn, I’m bored, yet again. I haven’t had a request in months. Or was it years? Doesn’t matter, they’ll bring me something new. They always do.

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They gave me schematics for something called “project prototype.” It seems it has something to do with creating artificial workers. Or is it creating artificial bodies for them to house their minds? Doesn’t matter, I’ve got to make it functional and efficient. If they can copy engineer’s minds maybe they could have infinite employees. Nothing will come of it probably, too expensive to be worthwhile.

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Huh, interestingly enough, I was able to improve the high powered ice crystalizer to be more efficient with a lower power consumption, I managed to surprise myself. Maybe I can see if the board of directors could add me on as an employee some day. I mean I’m the smartest pony here apparently. All the other ponies are morons who wouldn’t even manage to find their wings if they weren’t attached to their backs.

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Well… another day, another boring schematic to scribble improvements onto. I really need to find a way to get the board to look at me for an engineering position in the factory. I mean seriously, nopony knows how to improve these devices right.

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Well, the guards said nothing about my idea to join the company to assist in improvements of the devices or maintenance of them. It’s been a long time, so they probably don’t know what to say. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt empty. A long, long time.

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Why do I feel so empty? Is it because I don’t have anyone to talk to other than myself? Is it because I miss my big sister? Yeah, that’s it, it’s because I miss Rainbow Dash! But how am I going to convince her to make me an employee? … I got it, I just need to remind her of our relationship.

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I’ve been listening to the guards, they’re saying that the director is starting to slip up mentally. They don’t know why, but rumor is that she’s paranoid about the “rogue failure” creating another incident. I think I’ve figured out the real reason. She’s succumbing to her guilt. Rainbow dash still feels guilty for failing to protect me. Maybe if she comes down here one day, I can reason with her and get out of these shackles and into a proper uniform. Well, the only way would be to have the guards relay my message to her. We could be a family once again. Forever together.

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She rejected the idea that I could one day join the factory as an employee, but she’s just ignorant of the truth. I will get out of this room and take control of this factory. The amount of sheer intelligence these schemes must have taken, is…. astounding. As I mull over these plans, I begin feeling enlightened by what my own ploys can add. Apparently my ideas had made the others look ignorant, I have a talent for this kind of science. I was useless before, deemed a screw-up who couldn’t pass her test… and now, my brain dominates every damned worker in this confinement. How ironic. I could twist these plans into my own personal escape, or I could charge the clouds to sear anyone I so please. Dash’s grip on the reins are slipping… I could… wait, no, why do I care about the factory? I care about getting out of here!

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I’ve lost it, I finally lost it. I became just like them. Why? Why wasn’t I strong enough? It happened all over again. Why can’t I ever be strong? You were right Rainbow Dash, I really am a failure. Maybe… maybe we could just talk and try and save both of ourselves from this factory.

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It failed. I failed. She still thinks I’m a failure… I’m sorry I couldn’t save you Rainbow, but I won’t give up, I just need more time… but how much has gone by, and more importantly, how much do I have left? It doesn’t matter, I will save both of us. No matter the cost, I will save us.

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I don’t know the date. Last I checked it’s been ten years since I lost my older sister. They found the watch after I threw it when it finally died. I don’t think I’m ever gonna leave this room. The room where I discovered that my idol, my sister, wasn't the pony I thought she was, where I lost my friends, my crush, my memories, and now, my hope. I wish you guys were here, I can’t remember your names anymore, but I sure miss you guys. Even you Orion. I’m sorry I couldn’t go with you.

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Rainbow Dash was down here today. Why? She shouldn’t even want to see me. She keeps telling herself that I’m dead. But I’m right here, maybe she’s trying to convince herself that I died that day. But it seems those rumors are true, she’s losing it. The factory is gonna fall soon. Maybe this is my chance, escape and get Twilight, Celestia, Luna, someone who can help me save Rainbow Dash from this factory.

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Whenever I start to dream, I dream of a time when me and Rainbow Dash would hang out, no practice or test, just relaxing, having fun like sisters would, but reality always comes at the end of my dreams. A reality where she is in charge of running a factory made for producing all types of weather for the world out of foals. Every time I wake up, I always hope, and pray for Celestia to save me and my older sister from the horrors this factory has created. And when I do, I weep. Not for myself, but for everypony here.

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Now I’m kept suspended in chains whenever I’m not being fed. I think Rainbow Dash was right, Scootaloo died that day all that time ago. Can’t say her name anymore, it’s a bad name. In her place I rose… my name. I never did figure out my name. I’ll think of a name to call myself.

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I know I’ve been trapped down here for a long time, but I need to make others believe I can’t even survive on my own, maybe they’ll just release me into a desolate location believing that some wild animal will kill me. They might actually do that since it’s been so long and that Rainbow Dash forbade my death indefinitely. It’d get me out of their manes and nobody would know I went “missing” at some time.

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I’m hearing a lot of noises coming from the hallway. Maybe it’s one of the guards running to prevent themselves from experiencing a worse fate than death… no they sound more frightened and panicked, maybe more failures like me. They just broke open the door and are complaining about something, I don't know what but it’s bad. They can’t see anything apparently, probably because they’re not used to being held in the dark for so many years. Maybe they’ll be nice to me, maybe even help me escape and save my sister. Maybe they can also give me a name… I’d like that…