A Discordic Adventure

Chapters

The Beginning
The Annoyance
The Challenge
The Rescue
The Night
The Connection
The Break
The Separation
The Wedding

The Beginning

Magic is everywhere, even when it’s hidden.

For beyond the reach of the beautiful forest of green, beyond the hills that stretched high above to meet the horizon, one would think there was nothing there except for what nature already provided.

But that would be wrong. For even within the ether of the air, one who listened closely enough may be able to hear someone speaking, as if they were just on the other side of a wall that couldn’t be touched.

"Once upon a time, there was a lovely princess....

But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away in a castle, guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave knights had attempted to free her from the dreadful prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep, in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true love's first kiss…

“Oh, gag me with a spoon.” A tall creature groaned. He looked like a sculpture of different animals mashed together. “There are so many tropes within that single page that I’m wondering if I should even eat this! It could be bad for me!”

He ripped the offending page out of the book, then unzipped the portal from another dimension. A strange land was his backdrop as he zipped the portal back closed.

He tossed the crumpled storybook paper up in the air and caught it. A smile slowly grew across his face.

“But then again…” He tossed the paper ball once more, high enough that it reached the height of a tree before dropping back down. Rearing his head back, he opened his maw and caught the paper in his mouth to devour. Mmm. It tasted good, despite its cliché plot devices.

A sardonic smile grew across his face.

“...Since when did I ever care about what was good for me or not? Speaking of which…” He peered up at the sky. Evening was approaching. His grin grew.

“Methinks it’s almost mob time! Oh, I do love a good mob!” And with that, he snapped his fingers, and disappeared.

The group of ponies stepped through the door and into the open air. “Woah, hold on!” the one said, taking a few steps away from the door. “Do you even know what that thing will do to you?”

One of the others gulped. “Yeah…” he said nervously. “It’s said that he turns your insides out…”

“That he puts you in a cocoon to eat later…” a third said with a shiver.

A chuckle came from behind the three of them. “Oh, no,” a voice said. “You’re thinking of changelings.” They all whirled around to see what they had feared—the dreaded draconequus, leaning against thin air and grinning at them.

“Now, draconequui,” he said, floating towards them. “Ooooh, we’re much worse.” He grinned and said in a hiss, “We turn you into the worst version of yourself.”

He flicked his claw against the forehead of the leader, who quickly backed away. “N-No!” he cried.

“Oh yes,” the draconequus continued. “We make you hate everything you love...we make you turn against them, until all that’s left is for you to accept chaos and darkness…”

One of the ponies grabbed a torch, quickly lighting it and waving it in front of the draconequus’s face. “Back! Back!” he shouted. “Beast, back I say!”

The draconequus stared at him blankly for a few moments, raising an eyebrow. Finally, he lifted his fingers...and snapped. The flames of the torch instantly turned into a swarm of fireflies, which all flew away as the pony waved his torch.

The once-brave pony gulped, dropping the torch. The group huddled closer together, the ones who still had their improvised weapons clinging onto them tightly.

“Right,” the draconequus said, stretching and popping his back. He growled and leaned forward, then roared in their faces—a loud sound that made their eardrums vibrate and their manes blow back. They all stared at him with wide eyes, their faces extremely pale.

“Ahem,” he said. “This is the part where you all run.” The group was still frozen in fear, so he rolled his eyes and took a deliberate step towards them. “Boo.”

This was enough to knock them out of their stupor, as they all shrieked and rushed back out the door, quickly disappearing into the woods. The draconequus leaned against the door, watching them and laughing. “And stay out!” he yelled after them.

Only the quiet woods responded. With a snort, he turned back to face his dimension, slamming the door shut behind him.

In a clearing in the same woods, not terribly far from the door to the chaotic dimension, there was a camp set up.

It wasn’t a normal camp of tents, filled with creatures having a good time as they told stories and ate food roasted over fires. No, this was a camp filled with and run by soldiers, made up of prison-like carts and carriages, with cages scattered about.

The soldiers were strange burly creatures, not like ponies in any way, dressed in armor. The exception was the smallest one, a mole-like creature in a suit who was glaring at the group of ponies in front of him.

“You don’t come back with the strange magic creature you promised me, and you think I’m going to let you take another mission to save your hides!?” he shrieked.

“...yes?” the lead pony said hopefully.

“Wrong!” the mole shouted. With a snap of his fingers, two soldiers approached. “Take these fellows away. Put them in the next carriage to meet with the crown.”

“Yes, Sir Verko,” one said with a salute, the other reacting quickly to grab the ponies before they could flee. They were shoved into a carriage, next to other ponies, along with a few things like caged phoenixes and dragon eggs.

“Next!” the mole, Verko, called. A bat-like creature stepped forward with a magical artifact in his hands. After inspecting it, he handed over a few coins, and the bat left (though they seemed disappointed by the meager amount).

Another pony, further back in the line, watched the whole process. Her ears drooped, and even her poofy mane seemed to deflate as worry entered her eyes.

Her gaze turned to the tall, grey, lizard-like creature standing next to her, holding a rope that was tied around her torso. “Please don’t do this?” she said hopefully. “I won’t wake you up with pop songs again! I’ll bake you cupcakes! I’ll even throw away my yovidiophone if you don’t do this!” She smiled brightly and with a squee, though her eyes were desperate.

“Nothing doing,” the lizard grunted, moving forward in line. “You and your ability are more trouble than they’re worth! Even if I only get a few copper pieces, at least you’ll be off our hands at last.”

“Pleeeeease?” she said, her eyes and smile widening. The lizard just snorted, tugging her forward as the line crept forward.

In almost no time at all, they made it to the front of the line. “And what are you here to sell?” Verko asked, leaning forward.

“This pony,” the lizard said, nudging her forward. “She’s been a thorn in my side for months! Her magic is just the start of the problems she’s caused me…”

Verko raised an eyebrow. “That is an earth pony,” he said. “We’re only buying magical creatures here...most sellers at least attempt to disguise whatever earth ponies they catch as unicorns or something.”

“No, you don’t understand!” the lizard-like creature said. “This earth mare...she has magic!” He nudged her forward. “Go on, Pinkie! Show him your Pinkie Sense!”

Pinkie grinned and innocently tilted her head. “Me? An earth pony? With magic?” She beamed and nodded to herself. “Well, I do admit that I have a certain magic with an oven! I can whip up some mean cherrichangas!”

“Gah, not that!” the lizard growled. “The thing where your tail twitches and pretty much tells the future!?”

Pinkie giggled. “I can’t tell the future, silly!” she said. “If I could, I wouldn’t have been caught by you, would I? I would have seen it coming and avoided it!”

“She has a point…” Verko mumbled, leaning his cheek against his fist.

Pinkie grinned. “Though...if I told the future and it made my tail twitch, wouldn’t that be tailing the future? Eh? Eh!?”

The lizard just groaned and buried his face in his hands. “Good lord,” he said. “Please, not more puns…”

Verko sighed and stood up straight. “Right, that’s enough of that,” he said. “We will not be accepting any non-magical ponies, especially not ones who are going to tell puns for the foreseeable future. Next!”

“Wait!” the lizard said. But Verko just snapped his fingers, and both he and Pinkie were shoved out of the line, and the next creature stepped forward, holding a cage with some small creature inside it.

Pinkie breathed a sigh of relief...though that didn’t last long, as the lizard snarled at her, baring his teeth. “Don’t think you’re getting off that easy,” he said. “I’m going to keep trying until I can get rid of you...and until then, I’m going to make sure neither of us is happy.”

She gulped and backed away a bit. Then, she froze, as her tail began shaking wildly. The lizard noticed, his eyes widening. “Oh no,” he said. “What now?”

“Twitchy tail means ‘look out for falling objects’,” she said, glancing around the area, crouching low to the ground. She saw one guard lean against a table and send a jar of Breezies flying through the air...right towards the two of them!

She yelped, and saw that the lizard had already ducked out of sight. She quickly jumped to the right, and the jar landed and shattered right where she had been standing, releasing the Breezies. They chittered in their language, quickly flying out and swarming around her, covering her in some kind of golden dust that made her start floating into the air and out of the rope tied around her.

“You imbeciles!” Verko shouted at the guards as the Breezies vanished into the trees. “Now we have to catch them again! And someone lasso that mare and shake that pollen off of her before it wears off and we lose that magic, too!”

Pinkie’s knees wobbled, making her gasp and quickly paddle to the right. A second later, a lasso flew from behind her, only to catch empty air. “You missed!” Verko yelled. “How could you miss!? She’s only three feet in the air!”

“I told you, she predicts the future!” the lizard yelled.

Pinkie paddled through the air as she kept rising, trying to ‘swim’ away from the glade. “Well, maybe a teensy bit?” she said, dodging another lasso foretold by her wobbling knees. “But it’s not all that magical, I assure you! Nothing like my magic in the kitchen, so I’ll just be going now…”

“I’ll be the judge of that!” Verko snapped. “Forgot the pollen, just catch her!”

Pinkie kept paddling forward. “Nope, nope, nope, not today!” she said, floating just out of their reach and past the border of the glade. “You’ve seen pegasi fly and dragons fly, but today, Pinkie flies!”

She felt her tail twitch again, and she glanced up. “Huh, there’s nothing…” The pollen covering her tingled, the magic slowly flickering out. “Oh…”

The magic dissipated, and she fell harshly to the ground. She lifted her head slightly, grinning innocently as everyone stared her down. “Um...bye!” she shouted, springing to her hooves and galloping into the woods.

“Catch her!” Verko shouted. She heard the sound of footsteps, and tried to run a little faster. But it was hard work, dodging all the trees, and even though she could put plenty of distance between her and her pursuers, she was starting to feel a little out of breath.

“I knew I should have taken gym instead of that second baking class,” she huffed, trying to put in an extra burst of speed. She spared a glance behind her, and saw various creatures chasing after her, including the lizard that had tried to sell her.

While she was busy looking back, she ran into something and fell back on her haunches. “Oof!” the ‘something’ said. She gulped and turned her head, glancing forward...and slowly raising her gaze upwards.

Looming above her was a creature unlike any she had ever seen—one made of the body parts of different creatures. He glared down at her, releasing the magic that was shimmering around his claw and turning to face her. Behind him, a tree had been manipulated into an unnatural twisted shape, and there was some signature painted on its trunk. Her ears flattened a little when she noticed the large fang poking out the side of his mouth, and his gleaming, predatory eyes.

The footsteps from behind her grew louder. She glanced back and forth between her pursuers and the strange creature, and decided that she disliked the group chasing her more. She quickly jumped to her hooves and darted behind the creature’s legs (one goat-like, and one dragon-like).

Verko and his crew stopped in front of the tall creature that was in front of the pink pony. They all stood there a bit frightened by the creature that was before them. Verko gulped loudly but stood up straight.

“I see you’re the draconequus. Well, I’m sorry to inform you that by the law of Lord Tirek I’m authorized to place you both under arrest,” he said, “ And you will be transferred to a resettlement facility.”

“Oh really, you're going to arrest me? Please don’t waste your energy, I’m serious, you are wasting your time… by the looks of it your partners don’t seem to agree with you,” the draconequus said as Verko looked behind him, seeing he was all alone now.

Verko glanced between the empty space behind him and the draconequus in front of him. The draconequus’s mouth stretched into an impossibly large smile—the corners of his mouth literally stretching past his muzzle. His mouth was also filled with sharp, gleaming fangs, and he growled slightly.

That was all the encouragement that Verko needed to turn and flee, yelping a bit as he ran after his companions. The draconequus chuckled, his grin shrinking to a normal size as he stretched and began to stroll away.

Pinkie paused, looking back and forth between the retreating creatures, and the scary yet helpful draconequus. After only a second of hesitation, she bounced after her accidental rescuer.

“That was amazing!” she said cheerfully, bouncing next to his side. He froze, turning his gaze to her and raising an eyebrow. “How did you do that thing with your mouth and fangs? Can ponies learn it? Do you think you could scare off even bigger groups with that trick, or do you think I could do it with my own fangs?” She reached into her mane and pulled out a set of fake plastic fangs, bouncing in a circle around him.

He paused for a second, turning to see where the source of this new annoyance was. “Are you talking to…” When he looked to his side, she had vanished. “Me?”

He stood in place for a few seconds, then shrugged and turned back around. “Rah!” the pink pony said, jumping suddenly in his path, bearing her obviously-fake fangs at him. It was one of the least intimidating things he had seen...though she did earn a few points for surprising him.

Couldn’t let her know that, though. He just gave her a deadpan look. She grinned sheepishly and spat out the fangs. “Of course I was talking to you, silly!” she said, her good mood seeming undampered. “I’m the only one around, and that’s thanks to you. It was uncredible, what you did!”

“‘Uncredible’?” he said, raising an eyebrow and inching away from her. What was withthis pony?

“Unbelievable and incredible!” she said, bouncing even closer. He took a few more steps away, summoning a pole behind his back. Maybe he could push her away…

Before he could, she started bouncing around him and happily babbling. He tried to shove her back with the pole, but he was too slow, and she barely even reacted. “I mean, you’re doing uncredible things right now...is it magic? I can’t imagine what it could be if it isn’t magic…”

He grit his teeth, dropping the pole and quickly walking forward. She kept bouncing around him, following him without missing a single step...and her chattering was really starting to annoy him. Let’s see how you like being on the end of my ‘uncredible’ magic… he thought. He whirled around, preparing his magic to scare her like he had scared the rest of them.

“This forest is no place for ponies!” he hissed right in her face. To emphasize his message, he bore his fangs at her, using his magic to make green flames flare up from the ground behind him.

She stared at him blankly for a few seconds. He stared her right in the eyes, huffing and puffing, hoping that he could unnerve her enough that her fright would take over and cause her to flee.

“Oh, wow!” she said, recovering after a few moments. To his surprise, she even began applauding. “That was super duper scary! Have you ever considered working in a haunted house for Nightmare Night, or even just in a theater?”

He blinked in surprise, taking a few unconscious steps away and a little closer to his destination. “I mean, I once tried to get into theater, but it was hard to find any around the rock farm. And I was never scary enough for any of the haunted houses in the nearby towns, can you believe that?” she babbled, moving along with him.

He continued moving forward, trying to ignore her rambling. But after the second or third time she hung upside-down from a branch he was passing, he turned towards her. “Who are you, and why are you following me?” he snapped. “What are you up to?”

“Why?” she said. “Well, you see…” She bounced into his path, posing and taking a deep breath.

“It all started back on an old rock farm,” she sang. Discord cringed, taking a few steps back. “We needed bits to avoid alarm. So I left to work with those guys...but it seems that wasn’t wise!”

She bobbed her head, and her singing became more upbeat. “Things were downhill, until you—”

“Gah, enough!” he cried, pulling off his horns and shoving them into his ears. “I asked why you were following me, not for your life story! Especially not in the form of a…musical number!”

“Oh...okay!” she said. “I guess it’s because you seem nice.”

He stared at her blankly, his jaw dropping as he placed his horns back where they belonged. “I’m sorry...I still had my ears plugged. Repeat that?”

“You seem nice!”

He continued to stare at her...then sighed, placing a hand against his forehead. “Look...you’re an obnoxious, fluff-headed pony,” he said, pointing to her. He then pointed to himself. “Now, what am I?”

She tilted her head. “Um...are you a really tall chimera?”

“No!” he said. “I’m a draconequus.” She didn’t seem very fazed by this, so he elaborated, “You know...abandon town before it all turns upside down, grab your torches and pitchforks! Dangerous magical beast!”

She still seemed unfazed. “Doesn’t that bother you at all?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Hmm,” she said, raising a hoof to her chin in thought. After a few seconds, she shook her head and said, “Nope, I don’t think so.”

His eyebrows rose enough to almost fall off of his head. “...seriously?” he said. For a moment, he was completely unsure how to feel.

“If you want me to be!” she said. “I prefer being silly, though.”

“How...interesting,” he said slowly.

“My name’s Pinkie Pie!” she said happily, holding her hoof out to him. “What’s yours?”

“Uh...Discord,” he said. He lifted his paw and slowly pushed her hoof back down before turning and heading on his way again.

“Discord?” she said, sounding out his name. She mulled over it for a moment...and then smiled. “I like that name! I think it suits you very well.” She bounced along after him.

He just grunted and continued on his way. After just another minute of walking, he came to the top of a hill, looking over a small, flat clearing. In the middle of the clearing, a lone, colorful door stood, without any walls around it.

“Ooh,” Pinkie said from right beside him. “That’s really odd...what sort of place is this?”

“This,” he said, gesturing to the small clearing. “Is where I live.” He walked past her and towards the door.

“Oh, it’s...nice!” she said with a smile. “It’s a very lovely clearing. I like the...small little wildflowers you’ve let grow here, and...and that boulder is quite nice...and the random door is a nice touch!” She slowly followed behind him, looking around the area.

“Thank you,” he said. “But it’s not entirely random, you should know. Now, if you’ll excuse me...I could really do with a small bit of chaos-causing, followed by dinner and a rest in bed.” He stretched and grabbed the door handle.

“Um...where’s the rest of your home?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head. “Like...your kitchen, and your bed?”

“Past the door,” he said, opening it and showing off the shimmering purple sky inside. “If it were up to me, there wouldn’t even be a door, but apparently pocket dimensions need a tether or something…” He rolled his eyes. “Like someone decided that magic had to have arbitrary rules, just because.”

“Woah…” Pinkie said, her eyes widening as she stepped closer to the door. “It looks so cool in there…very colorful and fun.”

He held out a hand to stop her before she could step in. “Woah, woah, woah,” he said. “Who said you could come in here?”

“...no one,” she said, her mane deflating a little. “But, but...those sellers, they’ll come after me!”

“Probably not anytime soon,” he said, heading through the door. “They got a pretty good scare...that usually keeps them away for a couple of days.”

“Please!” she said, grabbing onto his leg. He flinched, trying to pull away, but her grip was like iron. “I don’t have anywhere else to go except back there, but I don’t wanna go back there! Can I please stay with you, please please please please…”

“Gah, alright!” he said, clutching his ears and considering tearing them off. “Alright, fine, you can stay!” He opened the door a little wider, shaking her off of his foot and holding up his index finger. “But for one night only, got it?”

“Thank you!” she cried, releasing his foot and diving through the door. He had expected her to flounder in the lack of gravity, which he would have found absolutely hilarious—but to his slight disappointment, she seemed to adjust almost instantly, pedaling her hooves and ‘swimming’ towards his house.

“Hey!” he said as she dog-paddled towards the front door. He teleported in front of her, holding out an arm to try and stop her. “You can’t just—”

Undeterred, she landed on the ground in front of him and dashed to the door. “This is going to be great!” she exclaimed, marveling at all of the odds and ends he had as decorations. “We can stay up late, like a sleepover, and swap crazy stories!” She bounced over to and landed on his couch, making herself right at home.

“And in the morning, I’m making omelet cupcakes!” she said. “My favorite’s jalapeno red velvet, but you strike me as more of a habanero lemon zest kind of guy.” She paused, looking around. “Um...where am I sleeping?”

“Outside,” he said, opening the front door and pointing.

“Oh…” she said, her ears drooping a little. “Um...don’t you have any guest rooms? Or a blanket, or I can sleep on the couch?”

His eyelid twitched. “Well...I do have one guest room, but you’d have to share it…” He marched over to one of the doors and threw it open, revealing a bedroom completely covered in spiderwebs, with a spider the size of two ponies resting on the bed. “Meet ‘Midnight-Snacker’! She likes to eat in her sleep.”

Pinkie yelped and rushed towards the front door. “Nevermind, outside sounds good!” she said. Discord sighed and relaxed, closing the guest room door. Pinkie poked her head back in. “But...could I at least have a blanket and pillow?”

“Here!” he said, tossing her a thick plaid quilt and a large marshmallow. “There’s your stuff! Stay outside and go to sleep!”

“Okay, okay,” she said as he closed the front door. He could still hear her through the window he left open. “This is fine...they still can’t get me in here...and this’ll be just like camping!” She grinned at him through the window. “Hey, could I get a tent and—”

“If you keep asking me for stuff, I will mute you, you earsore,” he growled, massaging his temples. Pinkie squeaked and ducked out of sight, and he breathed a sigh of relief, leaning against the wall.

“Just one night, just one night,” he told himself as he rubbed at his temples. “I’ll just deal with her for one night, and then kick her right back out.”

It’s just one pony, he told himself. How hard can it be? He smiled, already feeling a little bit better.

The Annoyance

Time passed, with Discord busying himself by arranging the halls in his house into more of a maze. The sun was setting in Equestria, and after a long day of well-caused chaos, his stomach was starting to growl.

He sat at his kitchen table, snapping his fingers a few times. Several pieces of fruit appeared, all of them coming to life and starting to loudly duel with forks and spoons.

“Ah, nothing like dinner giving you a show,” he said with a smile. A small cotton candy cloud rained chocolate milk into a wine glass for him, and the dueling fruit began to pile their victims on his plate as an offering. On the stove, a pot of noodles began to boil and stir itself.

He sipped at his chocolate milk, sliding a slice of orange onto the rim of his glass. Another flick of his claw, and a record slid into its player. A jaunty jazz tune, though quiet, filled the room, and the fruit soldiers started to choreograph their movements to it.

Soon, the pot of noodles dished part of itself on a plate for him. They smelled strongly of peanut butter. He licked his lips, tying a checkered napkin around his neck.

Ah, a chaotic meal, he thought to himself, swirling his noodles around his fork. What could make this any better?

Something in the back of his mind made him lift his head. His eyes flicked towards the window, where he knew that...pony was resting, right outside. The first pony in at least a couple of years that didn’t panic or scream at the sight of him. And who seemed appreciative of chaos...he shifted in his seat slightly, almost standing up.

But just before he rose, he froze. He frowned, shook his head, and sat back down, turning his attention back to his meal. With a sigh, he stuck the noodles into his mouth and slurped them up.

Just as he was smacking his lips, something bright and vibrant caught his eye. He turned his head, and though he was too slow to see whatever it was, he still saw something out of the corner of his eye—a flash of pink.

He scowled, dropping his fork. “What happened to staying outside?” he snapped at the retreating pinkness.

“What?” he heard. He turned towards the window, and saw Pinkie standing up and peering through it. “I’m still out here,” she continued. “Unless...you’ve changed your mind about inviting me in?”

“Nope,” he said bluntly, standing up. Something was going on here…

“Aww,” she said, her ears flattening as she disappeared from his sight again.

He went around the table, turning the corner and glancing at where he had last seen the flash of pink. He heard whispers, and the sound of shuffling...and the door to his coats-and-statues closet was slightly ajar.

Scowling, he crept towards the door. The whispering continued, and his ears swiveled forward to pick up the voices. “...a good idea,” one voice said. “What if we’re caught?”

“We won’t be caught,” another said. “Cutie Mark Crusaders: Sneaksters, remember?”

“Sneaksters isn’t a word,” a third voice said. “What are we looking for, anyway?”

Discord grabbed the doorknob and threw the door open. “Trouble, apparently!” he yelled at whoever was inside.

Three fillies stared back at him with wide eyes—they were barely preteens. They appeared to be building some makeshift nests with the coats and scarves he kept in the closet. One was a white unicorn, another an orange pegasus, and finally, an earth filly with a large pink bow in her mane—that must have been the flash of pink he’d seen. All three of them had similar cutie marks, not that it mattered to him.

“What are you doing in here!?” he snapped. “And how did you get in, anyway?”

The fillies shivered, their eyes widening even more. “S-someone left a window open!” the unicorn said. “We just came in because we were curious, and wanted a place to sleep…”

“We’re sorry!” they all yelped, running between and around his legs, dashing into another room and going through the open window there. They carried a few coats off with them, but that didn’t matter quite as much as something they had said.

“...someone left that window open?” he said, raising his eyebrow. With a flick of his claw, their escape route closed behind them. “I know I didn’t leave it open...the pink puffball couldn’t have opened it...those intruders didn’t open it…”

His eyes widened. “There are other intruders.” He scowled, gritting his teeth and sneaking his way back towards the kitchen. His sharp ears could pick up something from in there...whoever they were, they would be sorely mistaken if they thought they could get the drop on him!

“En guard, intruder!” he shouted, whipping out a purple plastic sword and waving it in the general direction of the noise in the kitchen.

A grey pegasus mare with a blonde mane whipped around, knocking over the cookie jar as she did so. A pile of chocolate and blueberry muffins spilled out, one of them already stuffed in the intruder’s mouth.

“Hey! I baked those desserts for me, not for ponies who think they can invite themselves in!” he shouted. “Out!” He waved the sword at her, making her jump.

“S-sorry!” she said, muffled by the muffin. Her golden eyes drifted in different directions, and she ran past him, heading for the door...and running into the wall just a foot away from it.

She slumped to the ground, dropping the muffin as letters and more muffins fell out of her saddlebags. There were stars in her eyes, and her limbs were all sprawled out. He sighed and dropped the fake sword.

“I guess the pink annoyance is getting a friend to camp with after all,” he said, picking the pony up by the scruff of her neck. She dangled limply in his grip, and he rolled his eyes. “And I might as well feed Midnight-Snacker some muffins...maybe she’d like to work as security for me.”

He went into the living room, dropping the knocked-out pegasus onto the couch. It grew spider-like legs from its sides and scrambled towards the door. While it was dropping off its cargo, he opened the door to the guest bedroom.

To his surprise, there was another intruder inside—this time, an Abyssinian with brown, fluffy fur, wearing a red, patchwork coat. And he was lying casually on the bed, tossing snacks at his scary guard spider!

The feline looked up from the bottles he had been inspecting, tossing another slice of stale bread at the arachnid. “Uh, hey,” he said with a wave. “The spider’s not the worst security system I’ve seen, but you might wanna get locks for your windows. ...are you interested in buying anything?” He gave a smug grin, his hand starting to dig into his jacket.

Discord stared blankly at him for a few moments...then scowled, summoning a spray bottle into his paw. “Out!” he shouted, aiming the spray bottle and sending a jet of ice water at the feline.

“This is undignified!” he complained, his fur bristling. Still, Discord continued to spray, reaching forward and grabbing him by the back of his jacket when he felt the Abyssinian wasn’t moving fast enough for his liking.

The cat complained, and Midnight-Snacker looked upset that the new source of tasty treats was being taken away, but Discord ignored both of them.

(Still, he used his tail to toss the muffins towards the giant spider. No point in letting anyone else bribe the arachnid without doing something about it.)

Five unexpected intruders all in one day, in his house, was starting to make his blood boil. “I swear, if I see one more creature in my dimension…” he snarled to himself, baring his fangs.

The Abyssinian winced. “Uh...if you put me down, I promise I’ll head right out,” he said quickly. “You don’t need to worry about throwing lil’ old me out the door.”

“Oh, and let you sneak away, to find some other way to leech off of me?” Discord said, raising an eyebrow. “No chance! As soon as I kick you out the door, I’m locking everything down and sweeping the whole place for anyone else. I’d suggest that you leave my dimension as soon as possible.”

“That’s...going to be a bit tricky,” the Abyssinian said, struggling in his grip. “Look, if you put me down, you can just watch me leave and be sure I won’t come back…”

Discord was starting to feel suspicious. “Why don’t you want me to open my own front door?” he said, narrowing his eyes. He kept his grip tight on the feline’s jacket as he reached for the door.

“Wait!” the Abyssinian said. Discord paused for a brief moment, watching him struggle to come up with a quick excuse. (If he hadn’t felt so annoyed, it probably would have been much more amusing). “Well, you gotta understand, there’s a reason I snuck in here. The name’s Capper, and a lot of creatures were asking me for a quick favor or solution…”

Suddenly, the front door creaked open, and Discord’s couch skittered back inside. “Ah, just in time,” he said. “I stopped paying attention to your story after ‘understand’. Time for you to find some other place to sleep, preferably on some cold forest grass!”

Discord stepped forward, rearing his arm back to lob the feline away. But what he saw made him freeze in place, dropping the final (or first) intruder in shock.

His dimension was teeming with creatures, most of them pastel ponies. Unicorns were using their magic to try and build organized structures out of the debris he let float around. Pegasi flitted between the floating islands, seeing how everyone else was doing. A handful of earth ponies paced back and forth. There were families comforting crying foals, Breezies floating and offering the most forlorn-looking creatures flowers, a grey griffon nearby helping up the cross-eyed pegasus and trying to distract other creatures with some small, magical trinket.

His eyelid slowly twitched. He could hear Catter or whoever it was scamper away, along with the sound of ponies...ugh, singing to each other about their difficulties, or to try and cheer each other up. His hands clenched into fists, and his boiling blood grew even hotter. It felt like steam was pouring from his skin.

“Um...Cordy?” a voice said. His head snapped over towards the source—that pink pony, who was now offering small treats to a couple of younger ponies. “You okay?”

His eyelid twitched again, and he felt something inside him (perhaps his patience) snap. “No, I am not okay!” he snapped at her. She jumped, and he whirled back around towards the bunch of freeloaders that had come into his home!

“What. Are you doing. In my dimension!?” he yelled, anger and magic making his voice echo through the whole area.

An immediate quiet fell over the dimension, heads turning to look at him. The first creatures to react were the Breezies, who chattered to each other in a panic, quickly flying and hiding in a patch of bell flowers (a terrible hiding spot, really...the flowers rang as they trembled inside of them). The ponies were next, most of them trying to hide behind their friends, a few of them starting to wail and moan.

“You have all overstayed your never-received welcome!” he yelled. “Leave!” He snapped up a broom and swung it in the general direction of some of the nearest ponies, like they were some sort of vermin he could chase off and scare away.

(Well, who was to say they weren’t? He chuckled to himself.)

The few ponies closest to him shied away, a few of them dropping off the edge of the island and paddling through the air to try and escape from him. But more of them ran around him, trying to avoid the edge.

"Hey!" he snapped. And with a snap of his fingers, stop signs appeared in front of them before they could even think about heading inside his house. "What do you think you're doing!?"

The ponies just flinched, dropping to the ground and cowering with their hooves covering their ears. He snorted and rolled his eyes...then turned to Pinkie. "You," he said between his teeth. "What, was your little camping trip not enough? Did you have to invite some intruding friends, too?"

She looked hurt, then shook her head and shrugged at the same time. "Don't look at me—they just started showing up an hour ago," she said. "I didn't invite them."

"Of course not!" a new, female voice said. He glanced up just as a griffon with grey feathers landed in front of him, with the three fillies from earlier paddling through the air behind her. There was a mailbag slung over her shoulder with a couple of letters poking out of it...along with the top of a potion bottle, unless he was mistaken. "No one invited us here. We were all…kind of arrested and forced to come."

She rubbed the back of her neck, while the three fillies flopped next to her with varying degrees of grace. The yellow earth pony was the first to make it back to her hooves. “It was Lord Tirek!” she declared, her lip wobbling pitifully.

The white unicorn sniffed and was helped onto her hooves by the orange pegasus. “He...he rounded up everypony, and any creatures who had magic, and he...he…” She looked up at her horn, screwing her eyes shut in fierce concentration. A measly green spark was all she could manage, and even after that, her legs wobbled and she looked close to falling again.

“He...took our magic,” the pegasus clarified. “And...after all that, we couldn’t even stay. All of us were led here and shoved in.”

The griffon spread her wings over the fillies, draping an arm over the grey pegasus and trying to comfort all of them. She tried to smile, but her eyes shone with sadness. “He even captured some creatures who weren’t even citizens...like me,” she said.

Discord raised an eyebrow. “Why would he care about you, if he’s interested in magic? Griffons don’t have that.”

“I...like to collect things,” she said. “Magic things, but he...took almost all I had collected.”

He sighed, looking past her at all the ponies that were trying to make themselves at home. “If I take care of this situation with this ‘Lord Tired-wreck’,” he said, using air quotes and rolling his eyes at the lord’s name, “Would you all get out of my mane?”

The griffon and trio of fillies all looked around at the chaos surrounding them. A swirling purple sky, floating islands and random debris, strange plants growing everywhere...they all turned back to him.

“...yeah, I think we’d leave if we could,” the orange pegasus said with a nod.

Well. At least that offered a possible solution. “Alright,” he growled, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Does anyone happen to know where this lord lives?”

“I do!” Pinkie said, bouncing up and down and waving her hoof in the air. “It’s called Duloc! It’s a pretty recent town-city-palace-place, but I’ve made deliveries there, and—”

“Does anyone else know?” Discord said. The other creatures just mumbled and shrugged, or shook their heads. “Oh, c’mon! There’s got to be a couple dozen of you, and only one of you knows how to find the person who sent you all here!?”

He turned towards the griffon and grey pegasus with mailbags. “You two don’t even know!?”

The griffon shrugged. “They blindfolded me when they brought me here,” she said. “And...I didn’t make too many deliveries there, anyway.”

“I made a few deliveries there!” the pegasus said, her eyes veering in different directions. “But I don’t know where I am and how to get there...and I got lost a lot of the time, anyway.”

“Anyone else?” Discord said with a groan. He looked around for any more mail carriers, or even any volunteers...but no, only the pink terror was jumping up and down, waving her hoof wildly in the air.

“Duloc’s a pretty new place!” Pinkie said helpfully. “And most ponies aren’t exactly welcome there. I only know where it is because I had to run deliveries there before that one guy tried to sell me—”

“And out of all of you, it’s the most annoying one who knows how to find the place?” Discord said. Most ponies shrugged, shying away from him, though a few glanced over at Pinkie and nodded. He frowned when he noticed a few of them grinning, like they were enjoying his annoyance. Typical candy-colored creatures...all happy and smiley, but secretly enjoying the ‘monster’ facing a trial.

He shook away his dark thoughts with a groan, casting one last glance around his dimension. Most ponies and Breezies were (futilely) trying to hide from him, and out of the ones who weren’t, the pink puffball was the only one saying she knew the way...and still trying to get his attention.

He sighed and snapped his fingers, creating a megaphone. “Attention squatters, freeloaders, and general annoyances!” he shouted through it. “You might not be happy to be here, but I’m even unhappier! So I’m going to talk to this ‘Lord Tired-Wreck’, give him a piece of my mind...and get you all out of here!”

The ponies and other various creatures stared at him silently for a few seconds. Then, cheering and clapping broke out. “Our hero!” “Thank you!” “You’re so kind!” several voices called out.

“Ugh, no!” Discord said. A swarm of Breezies flew over to drape a lei of purple flowers over his shoulders. “This isn’t me being a hero, it’s me wanting to get rid of you annoyances!” Still, the creatures continued to cheer.

He rolled his eyes and stormed away, grabbing Pinkie’s foreleg as he walked past her. “You! You’re coming to help. Try not to be too much of an annoyance.”

“Oooh, this’ll be fun!” she said, bouncing along beside him. “I know tons of travel songs! And travel games! And one or two travel stories, although I think the songs are better…”

“No songs,” Discord said. “And I’m not interested in games...I just want to get this over with.”

“One song?” Pinkie asked as they went through the door, entering the normal forest. “Pleeease?”

“No,” he said bluntly. “Which way?”

“Aww,” she said, pointing towards the east. “Can I tell the travel stories, at least?”

“Are they all by ponies, about ponies?” he asked. Her pause was telling. “Pass.”

“...can I hum?” she asked, giving him a wide-eyed, pleading look.

He sighed, his head flopping back until he could stare up at the stars. “Fine,” he said, “Yes, you can hum.”

“Thank you!” she said. Immediately, she began humming a peppy, upbeat tune. Discord sighed, closing his eyes and continuing to follow behind her.

At least this journey should be short, he told himself. I mean, how long could this take?

Meanwhile, in a castle not far away, but not terribly close, a centaur clopped through the halls.

Each of his hooves were loud against the stone floors, alerting all workers and soldiers ahead. Everyone jumped to work at the sound, or saluted him as he went by. But he ignored them, giving them only a wave of his hand at most...he was too focused on his destination.

Eventually, he reached a set of metal double doors, with armored guards at each side. They quickly stood to attention, saluting him and opening the doors. He nodded, satisfied, and went inside.

A small, young-looking pink pegasus was inside, standing at a table with her back to him. “Golly,” she said to whoever else was there. “It’d be a shame if anymore of these lovely cupcakes would have to be destroyed for no reason…” She placed a cupcake with sapphires in the frosting on the table, holding a hammer above it.

“No, not another one!” a young male voice moaned.

“I could just give it away if you told us what we want to know…” the pegasus said, the hammer hovering just above the pastry.

“I don’t know anything!” the voice said. As the centaur approached, it was clear that this prisoner was a small dragon with purple scales and green spikes.

The pink pegasus’s grin twitched...and the hammer came down. In a blur, the cupcake and the gems that had decorated it were all smashed into a glittery mush. The young dragon looked just as crushed.

“Well, Cozy Glow?” the centaur said, stepping forward with his hands clasped behind his back. He was a few heads taller than her, and thankfully there were no adult ponies to compare him to...and no one would remark upon his height (or lack of it) if they knew what was good for them. “How go the interrogations?”

Cozy Glow glanced up at him as she scraped the cupcake remains into a trashcan. “Golly, Lord Tirek..ten tempting cupcakes taken away, but he still hasn’t said anything,” she said. “If I could just get another hour or so…” She widened her eyes.

Lord Tirek rolled his eyes and waved her away. “You’re too soft...like all ponies,” he scoffed. “Stand aside and let me take care of this.” He turned to face the young dragon, barely missing the scowl Cozy made behind his back.

He stepped forward, his hooves clopping ominously against the stone floor. The young dragon cowered away. Cowering was fairly difficult since being tied to the chair made it hard for him to shift around much.

“Tell me!” Tirek said, leaning forward and slamming his hands onto the table. “Where are the other magical creatures!?”

“I told you, I don’t know!” the dragon said. “Everyone I knew scattered as soon as you showed up!”

Lord Tirek growled, his eyes flashing. “Cozy,” he said with thinly-veiled annoyance. “Did you remember to grab the item from the safe room?”

“Of course!” she said cheerfully. With a wide smile, she went to another, smaller table, and brought over an item on a plush red cushion. On it, there was an ancient crown—a light teal color, with patterns of dark blue, and run through with plenty of dark cracks that betrayed its age.

The dragon’s eyes widened at the sight of the crown. “Is...that what I think it is?” he asked worriedly.

“Ah...right. You’d know what this is, being the assistant of that know-it-all alicorn,” Tirek said. He pointed the crown at the dragon, pausing for effect. After a few seconds where nothing happened, he frowned and gave the crown a small shake.

It made a ringing sound, one that caused fur to raise and scales to crawl. At that sound, something, some kind of small, glowing strand, was dragged out of the small dragon, pulled into the inside of the crown.

The dragon moaned, slumping tiredly in his chair, bags forming in his eyes as though suddenly exhausted. He coughed several times...but instead of green flames, only puffs of thin smoke came out of his mouth.

The door at the top of the stairs opened. “My lord?” a knight said, saluting him. “We found the item you requested.”

“Good,” Tirek said with a nod. “Bring it down here...and take this with you, too.” He pointed at the dragon. “He has no information, and now, no magic...put him with the others. Cozy, make sure everything goes smoothly.”

The pink pegasus nodded, and the knight saluted him. She started giving a few instructions, making his wishes more clear without disturbing him...just as he preferred.

Tirek stared down at the crown as knights worked around him. There was shouting and grumbling from them as something was brought down the stairs, and moaning from the small dragon as he was ‘escorted’ away. But he ignored the bits of chaos around him.

Instead, he slowly, almost expectantly, put the crown on top of his head, right between his horns...and waited. And waited. Nothing happened. With a frown, he tapped on the side of the crown, as though that could kickstart it. Still nothing.

With a scowl, he removed the crown and set it on the table in front of him. He looked up at the knights in front of him, clasping his hands behind his back as they finally placed something large but flat in front of him. It was currently covered by a white sheet.

He waved his guards away, then nodded to Cozy. With a nod in understanding, she grabbed the cloth and tugged it off, sending up a cloud of dust and unveiling a very large, ornate mirror. His reflection in the glass was clear and untarnished.

Nothing happened for the first few moments, even after everyone but Cozy had stepped to the side. He tapped one hoof impatiently. “Ahem,” he said. “Mirror mirror on the wall…”

His reflection rippled, and a face appeared in the mirror. A lavender alicorn stood there, ruffling her wings and scowling at him. “Don’t patronize me, please,” she said, her brow furrowing in annoyance. “Wasn’t putting me in here enough?”

“Hello, Princess Twilight,” he said patronizingly. “I thought it was, but you’re the most knowledgeable creature around here...and I have a few questions for you.”

Twilight snorting, looking away. “Flattery won’t get you anywhere,” she said. Cozy peeked her head over the table and grinned menacingly, while Tirek cracked his knuckles. She sighed, her wings drooping. “But I guess I don’t have a choice but to answer. What is it?”

“This crown,” Tierk growled, picking up the artifact and holding it out to her. “Is supposed to let me use the magic of other creatures. Why isn’t it working?”

Twilight frowned, leaning a little closer to the mirror’s surface. “What...is that Grogar’s Crown!?” she said. “How did you—?”

“That doesn’t matter!” Tierk said. “What matters is that it’s broken, and it isn’t working for me!” He ground his teeth. “I can fill it with magic from dozens of creatures, but no matter what I do, the magic refuses to come back out!”

“Of course not,” Twilight said. “That crown only works for kings and queens. Even if you force an area of land under your rule, that doesn’t make you worthy of the crown.”

Tierk growled. “Cozy?” The small pegasus perked up. “A demonstration, please.”

Cozy smiled sweetly, walked over to one of the non-magical mirrors...and tipped it over, causing it to shatter into tiny pieces. “Now, you were saying?” Tierk said.

Twilight swallowed, and even through the glass, it was clear she was sweating bullets. “W-well, land ownership isn’t what the crown activates by,” she said. “It checks to see if you have any royal blood...or failing that, you could use some kind of crest to activate it.”

“Crest?” Tierk said.

“A royal crest. Sometimes in the form of a ring or necklace,” Twilight explained. “But the only way that will work is if you have some connection to whatever family the crest belongs to—usually through marriage.”

“So if I marry a royal, the crown will work,” Tierk said. “Tell me...are there any unmarried princesses close by?”

Twilight scowled. “You’re not marrying me,” she said. “Even if you did let me out of the mirror...never in a million years.”

“I don’t like the idea of that, either,” he said with a sneer. “But if you don’t find some other eligible bachelorette, I guess you’re the only one around…”

Twilight went pale, then turned a bit green. She sighed and closed her eyes, her horn glowing faintly. Tierk sneered at the display of magic, glancing over at his crown. “There’s...a few somewhat close by,” she said. “But you’re not going to like this…”

“What?” he said.

“They’re all ponies.”

Tirek froze, then groaned, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Seriously? There’s not one centaur, or gargoyle...not even a griffon?”

“Most of the royalty around here are ponies or changelings!” she said. “And the only unmarried ones are ponies. Maybe you should have founded Duloc in an area with less of them, if you find them so beneath you…”

Tirek growled. Cozy Glow helpfully held up a hand mirror and smashed it against the edge of the table, making Twilight gulp. “I suggest you start going through the list, and telling me about each one,” he said, cracking his knuckles.

Twilight closed her eyes, her horn glowing. Her reflection rippled, soon replaced by another alicorn—this one taller, with a pink coat and a mane with streaks of purple, pink, and yellow. She wore golden regalia, including a small crown on top of her head.

“The first option I found was Princess Cadance,” Twilight said, though she didn’t appear. “Hailing from the Land of Sweets, far in the frozen north, she’s currently under a curse that only the rare Crackatook Nut will be able to cure.”

For a split second, the alicorn’s image changed into something much less beautiful—something horrifying. But it was replaced by Twilight before Tirek could see anything more about her.

Tirek rose an eyebrow. “The Land of Sweets, in the north? Isn’t that quite far?”

“Yes, but she’s come quite a ways because of...her curse,” she said slowly. “That’s common, among royalty, to leave their kingdoms if something such as that happens to them.”

He frowned. “You said there were more?”

She nodded, slowly closing her eyes and igniting her horn again. This time, her image was replaced with that of a unicorn—one with a pure white coat, purple mane, and blue eyes. She wore a baby blue dress, and glass slippers on her hooves.

“This is Princess Rarity,” Twilight said. “One of few descendants of Princess Platinum, she’s been named as heiress to the Ancient Unicornlands, both for her generous spirit and royal blood. She originally hails from the small town of Ponyville, though.”

“Ancient Unicornlands?” Tirek said, raising an eyebrow. “Isn’t that just fields of rocks and gems?” He scowled. “And is that really noble enough to make the crown work?”

“She has the blood, she’s been named an heir...and the Ancient Unicornlands are historically important! Not to mention the…” Twilight trailed off as he rose an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Just...go on,” he said, waving her along. “Who’s next?”

Twilight sighed. “The third option I found is Princess Fluttershy.” Her horn glowed, and her image in the mirror rippled again. This time, she was replaced with an image of a buttercream yellow pegasus wearing a forest green dress.

This princess was sitting in the window of a tall stone tower, staring expressionlessly out at the horizon, her pink mane draping over her teal eyes. “Hailing from the land of...Far Far Away,” Twilight narrated. “She’s currently being held captive in an old castle by a large dragon.” A silhouette of a large beast rose behind the tower, smoke pouring from their muzzle.

Before he could see any more details, the image vanished, once again replaced by an unamused Twilight. “She’s one of the last princesses in the nearby area,” she said. “Any others are probably more than a month’s journey away from here.”

Tirek sighed. “Not great choices,” he muttered. “I do wish they weren’t all ponies…”

“Is there anything else you’d like to know?” Twilight said. “I only gave very brief descriptions on all of them, but there’s probably more you should know...especially about—”

“The first one obviously isn’t any good,” he continued with a scoff, talking more to himself than to her. “If I must marry a pony of all creatures, it won’t be a...prissy pink one. And having all that natural magic…” He grimaced.

“And whatever that curse was, I do not want to deal with it,” he finished, shuddering at the memory. “So that first one is right out.” Twilight let out a silent sigh of relief, her shoulders relaxing.

“What about the second one?” Cozy Glow asked. “She looked pretty enough, and she can’t be as magically powerful as an alicorn…”

“Yes, but she still has magic,” Tirek said with a scoff. “And her title only comes from a hint of noble blood...even if she is an heir, that’s no real guarantee the crown would activate for her. There’s no way I’m going to be stuck with a wife with more magic than me!”

“It would probably work…” Twilight mumbled quietly. “And the Ancient Unicornlands are nothing to sneeze at…” She was ignored.

“So that just leaves Princess Fluttershy,” Tirek said.

“She didn’t seem so bad,” Cozy Glow said.

“Yes...out of all the ponies, she seems to be the most...tolerable. I mean, she’s a pegasus, right?” Tirek said. “No magic to worry about.”

“Well, actually,” Twilight said. “There’s a curse, and—”

“And no magic means she’s less of a pain than other ponies,” he continued. “That’s it. She’s the one. We’ll have a tournament immediately, to find the best creature to retrieve her!”

“There’s a magical occurrence that happens at night—” Twilight tried to continue.

“Enough!” Tierk said. “No more talk of magic, unless it involves me finally getting what’s rightfully mine.” He sighed and placed the crown back on its velvet cushion. “Soon enough…”

Twilight sighed. “Fine,” she said. “Don’t listen to me...even if I am the only one who actually knows anything about magic around here…” With that, her image faded into a blur, and the mirror showed his reflection.

Tirek snapped his fingers. Cozy quickly covered the mirror with the white cloth, then gently picked up the cushion with the crown and carried it towards the safe room. With that taken care of, Tirek left, already plotting.

“Soon, Duloc will have a king and queen,” he said aloud to himself. “And the crown will work...making me the most powerful magic user in the land!” His eyes gleamed, a spark of ominous orange light forming between his horns.

The Challenge

“...and that’s when I first learned about my Pinkie Sense,” Pinkie said to Discord as they walked up a hill.

“Mhmm, fascinating,” he said with a nod, having ignored about ninety percent of what she had been saying. “First, what happened to the ‘humming only’ agreement? Second...when are we going to actually get to this place?”

“I don’t know,” she said. “But the story wasn’t just about ponies...it had rocks! Also…” She dashed ahead of him, pausing at the top of the hill. “We’re here!”

“Really?” he said, walking a little bit faster. He paused when he was by her side. True to her word, there was a city visible in the distance. It was built of a white stone that shimmered in the sun, a tower-like castle rising up and over the orderly paved streets and buildings below.

“It looks...so…” he said, his eyes widening...right before he scowled, sticking out his tongue. “Clean and orderly. Ugh.”

“Oh, yeah!” she said cheerfully. “I haven’t spent a huge amount of time inside, but it’s pretty well-organized! Things are kept clean, there are rules for the citizens to follow...Lord Tirek runs a pretty tight ship, from what I’ve seen.”

“Ugh,” he repeated. “Don’t say anything else...just the thought of all that order…” He gagged, his nose wrinkling.

“Are you going to be okay going in?” Pinkie asked, sounding concerned. “And do you need lemon-lime soda for your nausea? I might have some lemon-lime soda.” She reached into her mane.

“No, no soda,” he said, holding up a hand and shaking his head. “And...I’ll be fine. I just have to disregard rules and authority, not follow their orderly patterns, and take care of this quickly.” He paused, then stroked his beard, a wicked grin on his face. “Unless you know of a way to ambush this ‘Tired-Wreck’ outside of the town limits…”

“Nope, sorry!” she said, shaking her head. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen him in person, anyway! Just a lot of statues and engravings.”

He sighed. “I guess we have no choice but to go in, then,” he said, standing up straight. He began to head towards the city.

Tall walls of polished white stone surrounded the city, with empty walkways on the top clearly meant for guards to patrol across, keeping everything orderly and whatever else guards did. Fortunately, the side of the city Pinkie had guided him to had a small door in the wall, with a small empty booth next to it, and long ropes laid out to organize a nonexistent queue.

“Huh,” Pinkie said as they reached the ropes. “That’s odd. Usually there’s some guards out, or someone in the booth, even if there isn’t a line…”

Discord just shrugged, walking into the ropes and pushing them over, not even bothering to acknowledge their presence as they toppled. “Oh well,” he said with a sigh. “As much as I do love causing a good panic, it makes it easier for us to get inside.” His gaze flicked over the wall, hoping to spot anything out of the ordinary, even just a crack or a smudge of paint. But there were only bland, monochrome posters next to the door, laying out a few city rules.

“‘No magic inside the walls of the city’,” he read from the signs. “‘Surrender all magical items at the front gate’...what does this monarch have against magic, anyway?” He crossed his arms, his voice dripping with disdain.

“I dunno!” Pinkie said, bouncing over the ropes he hadn’t knocked over. “I heard rumors that he loves having magic of his own, though.”

“Ah, the classic case of jealousy,” he said, shaking his head. “If he can’t have all of something, no one else is allowed to even think about it.”

“I guess!” she said. She stopped at the turnstile and pushed, but it didn’t budge. “Hey...I think this is locked.”

“I guess they don’t want creatures sneaking in with no one manning the front gate,” he said, peering into the empty booth. Plain and dull, with only a box for bits and a few pamphlets that probably went on and on about how lovely and perfect and delightfully boring the kingdom was. “Except, oh yes...you can crawl under these.”

“Are you sure we don’t have to pay for access?” she asked.

“Who cares?” he said. “No one’s here to say otherwise.”

Pinkie looked guilty, but bent over backwards and limboed under the turnstile. He walked up to them once she was through, and looked over the metal bars and the stone ground below. There was no way he was letting that touch his fur. It looked so...polished and orderly.

And so, he grabbed the bar. With a spark of magic, he bent the metal bar upwards so that it was sticking straight up. “There,” he said, strolling through unimpeded. “That’ll teach them to have lax security.”

“You couldn’t have done that before I went through?” Pinkie asked, now back on her hooves.

“I could have,” he said. “But hey, at least you got the chance to practice your limbo.”

She pursed her lips. “I guess it would be good to get back in practice before limbo contests start up again.” She looked up at him. “Say...have you heard of any limbo contests happening around here?”

“How should I know?” he said with a shrug, walking down the paved street. “So...where are we heading? I’m assuming the large castle in the center, because where else would a monarch be...unless you’re going to surprise me with another suggestion?”

“Nope!” she said, bouncing ahead and looking around. “The streets are more quiet than normal...usually there’s someone out on the street.” She paused in the middle of the street, putting a hoof to her chin in thought. “I don’t think there’s a holiday or anything today…”

“Maybe it’s an event you weren’t invited to,” he snarked. “Not that I would blame him.” He walked past her, glancing every which way and scanning the streets. They were quiet, in a way that was almost eerie...it didn’t help that there seemed to be signs plastered on every other building, filled with all sorts of rules. No magic, no magical items, no potion brewing, no causing a disturbance, no littering...he stuck his tongue out. “Has this ‘kingdom’ always been like...this?”

“For as long as Tirek’s been around, yep!” Pinkie replied. “There’s lots of strict rules, especially for ponies who want to live here!”

Discord scoffed, tearing off one ‘no magic’ rule flyer, crumpling it into a ball and tossing it over his shoulder. “Because just telling someone not to do something is obviously going to work,” he said.

“Well...that, and having lots of trained guards. Plus a system that keeps the citizens watching each other, enforcing the rules in an effort to earn more favor or freedom,” Pinkie said, picking up the flyer and lobbing it towards a trash can. It rolled around the rim a few times before finally falling in, while Discord stared blankly at her. “But all it does is keep the current rules in place, using the citizens as tools and giving rewards that don’t really make anyone happy at the end of the day…”

He shook himself out of it, pressing a claw against her lips. “I don’t need a lesson in political theory, thanks,” he said dryly.

“Aww, but I still remember what my sister told me…” she pouted. “She took it as a gen-ed working on her rocktorate.”

“Still don’t care,” he said, pacing further down the street, getting ever closer to the castle. She pouted a little more, but still followed behind him.

The streets were just as empty the further they went, although there was something going on closer to the castle that he couldn’t quite pick up. Every so often, he would tear down some sort of rule-enforcing flyer that he found particularly egregious. His last stop was just a block away from the castle, in front of a statue of a tall centaur with large horns, looking down on anyone in the streets with an ancient crown on his head.

After a few moments of thought, as Pinkie continued further ahead, Discord snapped his fingers. The crown turned into a silly balloon hat, and a pink, fuzzy mustache grew on the statue’s upper lip. He smiled and chuckled to himself, turning and following the pink annoyance. With just another block of walking, the two of them quickly approached the towering castle.

The first thing Discord heard upon nearing the castle of this Lord ‘Tired-Wreck’ (who wasobviously compensating for something, because his entire kingdom just screamed ‘look at how important I am!’), was a voice projecting itself out to what he assumed was a crowd of people.

“That champion shall have the honor--no, no--the privilege, to go forth and rescue the Princess Fluttershy, from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place, and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but that’s a sacrifice I am willing to make.”

Discord rolled his eyes so hard that it was a miracle they stayed in their sockets. Ugh. Monarchies.

He was thankful that at least he was here. His inconvenient little journey here, complete with the annoying little pink accessory pony, was nearly over.

“Let the tournament begin!” he heard Lord Tirek shout. The lord’s ringing voice made Discord’s sensitive ears twitch as he stepped out onto the cobblestones, and found that he was right. He had definitely been speaking to a crowd. A rather huge one.

“Woah!” Pinkie marveled as she hopped onto the street herself. “Is this a party!? Oh, I love parties!”

But Discord’s muscles ever-so-slightly tensed at the sound of gasping, a noise he was far too familiar with to associate them with lame pony parties.

He looked around, though he didn’t need to bother. He knew what caused the gasping.

“I don’t think this is a party, Pinkie…” he said, watching as the knighted ponies and creatures slowly reached for their weapons, their eyes still trained on him.

Tirek gasped. “What IS that? It’s hideous!”

Discord tracked the voice now to match it with a face, and looked at Tirek.

"Now, that's rude," he said, gesturing at Pinkie Pie. "It's just an earth pony!"

But Tirek already had a hungry look in his eyes. “Knights!” he shouted, standing and thrusting a pointed finger at Discord. “New plan! The one to kill the dragoney-kiss will be named champion!”

Discord nodded. Ah, there we go. NOW they were getting into more familiar territory.

“First of all,” Discord said. “It’s pronounced drah-kahn-eh-kwiss’. If you’re going to attempt to kill me to make me the most fabulous mount on your kill wall, then at least say it right. Second, come now! Can’t we just settle down, and talk this over with a pint of delicious cider?” he said, backing up and picking up a wooden mug, turning on the tap with the cider.

He glanced at the crowd, and the knights didn’t seem interested in their cider today. Instead, they now looked determined, shouting dumb things like “kill the beast!” and “let’s get him!”

But Discord only grinned, glancing down at the earth mare who was backed up next to him.

“Pinkie? I take it back.”

He then shoved his elbow into the keg, bursting it open. Using his magic, the cider jetted out and hit several of the nearest targets. When it splashed on the floor, he snapped his fingers, turning it into cider-flavored ice, causing several knights to slip and crash onto the floor.

“Let’s party!”

“Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Rumble party!” Pinkie cheered, before reaching behind her back. Discord had to admit, even he was impressed when the mare took out a huge cannon out of nowhere. (And slightly unsettled.)

“Who wants a taste of my confetti cannon?!?”

She yanked on the rope to activate it, and it exploded confetti out so quickly that it sent more knights careening into the air.

“Pinkie!” Discord gaped. “What the… Why didn’t you use that when creatures were trying to sell you back at my place?!”

“‘I dunno!” was all she said before she sent another boom of confetti in another direction.

Discord just sighed and shrugged, stepping causally to the side as a knight lunged towards him, going for a surprise attack. Discord tripped him over with his foot, before levitating a red banner.

“But if this is a party, let’s at least make it a five-star smoozefest! Let’s roll out the red carpet, shall we?!?”

And with that, he rapidly unfurled the banner, making it smack a few knights as he did so, and then used it to curl around several knights within it like a lasso.

He released them by whipping them out, sending them whirling out in tornados.

And the crowd was loving it.

They were even… rooting for them?

Discord, his chest puffing in pride, took a bow. “Thank you, thank you! Hmm, perhaps this crowd isn’t as boring as they usually are! ¡Muchas Gracias! Please, yes, don't stop the praise! I’ll be here ‘till Thursday, try the haydogs!” He laughed.

The crowd continued to applaud, and he drank in the praise. With a few snaps of his fingers, some of the cider puddles rose to life and wrestled the few standing knights into submission. This was how things should be—plenty of chaos, creatures admiring him, a tugging on his tail…

Wait. That last one was less than ideal. He glanced down, and saw that Pinkie was standing close to his legs, and had grabbed onto his tail and started tugging to get his attention.

“Ugh,” he said, whipping his tail out of her grip. “What is it?”

“Discord!” Pinkie said, blinking rapidly as her hooves shivered. “My Pinkie Sense is going off!”

“Right now?” he said. “What exactly is it saying to you this time?”

“To beware of sharp objects,” she said. She gasped and pointed upwards. “Like those ones!” She dove behind him, peeking out from around his legs as he glanced up to where she had pointed.

On the walls high above them, what appeared to be a small army had gathered, each member aiming a crossbow directly at them. He just rolled his eyes and raised his paw into a snapping position.

“Really?” he said, raising his voice. “You think a couple hundred arrows are going to scare me, after what I just did to your...I think you called them ‘knights’, but I’m not convinced about that.” He heard some creature off to the side moaning and whining for help, and he gestured over to them, raising an eyebrow.

“Just try it!” he said. “I’ll bet my magic can work faster than you can shoot...are you all willing to bet yourselves, and this whole area, on that I’m wrong?” He raised his paw a little higher, bringing his fingers closer together. He couldn’t help but grin a little when he saw a few of the soldiers flinch.

No one seemed willing to fire first. The soldiers turned towards Lord Tirek, who was regarding Discord with a thoughtful expression. One of the knights asked him something, but the centaur waved him off.

“I have a better idea…” he seemed to mutter. Raising his voice, he announced to the crowd, “Creatures of Duloc! I give you...our champion!”

“What?” Discord said, glancing around to see if one of the knights had managed to get to their feet. But no, it was just him and Pinkie standing there, which meant… “Oh, you have got to be kidding,” he groaned.

“Congratulations, dracon-kiss,” Tirek said. “You’ve won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest—for me!”

Discord rolled his eyes. “Drah-kahn-eh-kwiss,” he emphasized, scratching the back of his neck. “And...how about no? I’m allergic to honor, and I’m certainly not in the mood to do you any favors...especially since I’m busy on a quest of my own, to get my dimension back!”

“Your...dimension?” Tirek said.

“Yes!” Discord shouted back. “My dimension! You dumped a bunch of magical creatures in there, remember? I want them out!”

“And freed!” Pinkie added. The crowd murmured.

Verko approached Tirek along the wall and whispered something to him. Discord’s ear twitched in their direction, and a little magic made his voice crystal clear. “—easiest place to put them,” he was saying. “Since we couldn’t capture the draconequus and get him out…”

Tirek frowned and waved him away. “Yes...your dimension. The door to it was in the woods?” Discord nodded. “Alright...why don’t we make a deal. Go on this quest for me, and you’ll have your dimension back.”

“And the ponies? And magical creatures?” Pinkie asked.

“Won’t be of concern to you,” Tirek said. Pinkie frowned, and was about to say something, but Discord waved a hand in front of her, gesturing to stay quiet.

He frowned in thought, stroking his beard as he weighed his options. “Alright, I’ll bite,” he said. “Exactly what kind of quest do you want me to go on?”

The Rescue

“So to recap,” Pinkie said, walking alongside him. “We’re going to fight a dragon and rescue a princess for Tirek, so that he’ll give you back your dimension, which you’re only doing because he filled it with ponies in the first place? And he might send the ponies somewhere even worse after we do this?”

Discord grunted. “First of all...I’m doing this. There is no ‘we’. You can leave anytime you want. In fact, please do!” He shoved through a row of crops. “Secondly, I don’t know why I should care about what happens to those ponies later. They’ve never given a second thought about disturbing me, so why should I care about their well-being?”

Pinkie ignored his hints and bounced along, not pushing past plants, but still easily getting past them. “I just don’t get it,” she said. “Why didn’t you use some of your chaos magic on him? Spook him into doing what you wanted?”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “Oh, I know!” he said. “I should have hypnotized him into doing my bidding, sent half of his kingdom into another dimension—that’s not mine—and transformed the other half into a chaotic playground of madness!” He turned back to Pinkie, who looked a little pale. “Is that something you would have wanted to see?”

“Well...not really, no,” she said. “But…”

“But what?” he said. “I should have done something anyway? Waste my magic on this...frankly rather boring dimension, just to push things a little in my favor?”

“Well...maybe just a little,” she said. “Isn’t that what you always do?”

“No,” he grunted. “For your information, there’s more to draconequui than you ponies think, with your heads full of sunshine and fluff…”

“Oooh, example?” she asked, her good mood still undeterred.

“Example...uh...” he stared forward a bit blankly. “Well...draconequui...are like straws!” For emphasis, he snapped off a stalk of some sort of plant, and with a bit of magic, it morphed into a straw.

Pinkie tilted her head. “They hurt the environment?”

“Yes!” he said. “Wait, no!...well, when we want to, yes, but no!”

“They’re hollow?”

“No!” Discord said, gesturing to his torso. “I have organs in here, you know!”

She grinned and jumped up and down, taking a deep breath. “Oh! You get a paper one, and you use it a couple times, but because the paper ones are more environmentally friendly they're also less efficient and they get all soggy and you wished you hadn't used it in the first place despite them making you feel environmentally conscious?!?”

“NO!” he shouted. “Straws are flexible! Flexible! Adaptable! Malleable!” He tapped the straw roughly on her forehead, making it bend. “They change based on the situation, and they give forms to things that shouldn’t have it!” He turned away, tossing the straw aside in disgust.

“Oh, flexible,” she said. “You’re flexible and give form to things…” She paused, deep in thought. He kept walking forward, hoping that her thoughts would keep her busy long enough that he could lose her.

“You know...some ponies don’t use straws. The analogy might not work…” she said. She gasped and ran back up to him. “Mint molds! They change the form of things, and they’re flexible! And everyone loves cream cheese mints!”

“I don’t care what everyone loves!” he snapped. “Draconequui are like straws, not mint molds!”

“You know what else everyone else loves?” she continued. “Parfaits! They’re delicious, and you can put different ingredients in them, so you could call them chaotic!”

“Draconequui are not parfaits!” he snapped at her, whirling around and pressing his finger into her muzzle. “You dense, annoying, ridiculously eyesore of a pony! We are like straws, end of story! Goodbye.”

He snorted and stormed away, hoping deep down that she would be too frozen to follow. Unfortunately, the hoofsteps right behind her told her that wasn’t the case. “Parfaits might be the most delicious thing in the world,” she said conversationally. “Especially if there are cake and ice cream layers in them. Those are the best.”

Discord sighed, rolling his eyes. “I think I preferred your humming,” he said. He swallowed thickly before his stomach ended up growling. Later, he told himself. At a time where she won’t spot it and hold it over me.

“Can we grab ice cream along the way?” Pinkie asked. “I can make cupcakes and make those special parfaits if we grab ice cream. Are you able to make ice cream with magic?” He sighed and rolled his eyes again, trying to mentally prepare himself for the long, long journey he would be facing.

They traveled on hoof the next few days. Teleporting there was extremely tempting, but without a clear idea of where he was going...it was too risky to teleport too far and use too much magic. That didn’t stop him from complaining every time his feet felt sore, though.

Pinkie still followed him every step of his way, her upbeat attitude not even slightly damped by his sour and snarky one. She kept offering songs and snacks to cheer him up—he strongly denied the first but accepted the second—and helped set up camp each night, whenever the sun had set and it was too dark to see where they were even stepping. He almost considered continuing on and trying to lose her, but...walking was exhausting. He passed out as soon as he laid down!

...and Pinkie didn’t make the worst meals ever. Her desserts were pretty good, he had to admit. Still, that didn’t make hearing her ramble on any less irritating. Especially as they got further and further from his dimension, and the terrain became rockier as they approached a tall set of mountains.

“...and that’s how my sister Maud taught me how to make our special rock candy,” she said, finishing one of her latest childhood stories. The two of them were in the middle of scaling a large mountain with dark rocks, the sky overhead dark and ominous.

He sighed, lifting up and rubbing at his sore dragon foot. “Since you’re so experienced,” he said. “Couldn’t you use a little bit of that rock knowledge to find a path around the mountains? Perhaps one with less sharp rocks?” He lifted up his goat hoof and picked out a good-sized pebble from the crack.

“Sorry, I’m not as much of an expert as the rest of my family,” she said, skillfully bouncing up and over a few large boulders. “Besides, isn’t the Keep supposed to be surrounded by mountains? If we went around, we might miss it, silly!”

He opened his mouth to protest...then closed it, letting out a huff of frustration through his nose. He grumbled to himself as he continued climbing up the mountain after the nimble pink pony.

Pinkie continued hopping up the side of the mountain, smiling and seemingly undeterred by the hard rock. She suddenly stopped in place, giving him the chance to catch up. Her muzzle was raised into the air.

“...do you smell nachos?” she suddenly asked, sniffing at the air.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “Pinkie, please. We’re in the middle of nowhere, and the only creatures probably around here are a pony princess and a dragon. Why would there be…” He paused, sniffing at the air himself. The air did smell strongly of boiling cheese…

“Huh,” he said. “That’s...interesting.” He continued clambering up the mountain, peering over the side. Down below, there was a lake of what appeared to be glowing, boiling, roiling...nacho cheese. Right in the middle, on a rocky cliff, there was an old, dilapidated stone castle.

“Very interesting…” he said, frowning in thought as Pinkie came to his side. “Are we sure we have the right castle? This has to be magic, but it’s way too creative of an obstacle for ponies to have made it.”

“I don’t think there are any other old castles nearby with lava...sorry, boiling liquid of some kind around them,” Pinkie said. “...how can the boiling cheese be coming out of the ground?”

He sniffed at the air again. Underneath the heavy smell of cheese, he could just barely pick up the faintest trace of magic. “Magic,” he answered simply. “Can’t tell what sort of creature cast this spell, though...maybe they turned a mountain into a boiling-cheese volcano, or the lava in a volcano into cheese.” He shrugged and headed over the rim of the mountain, towards a small, old wooden bridge that stretched towards the castle.

“Frankly, why they chose to cast this spell and who cast it doesn’t matter,” he said. “I mean, it’s slightly original, but they could have done so much more with this idea! So it’s worth maybe...a quarter of a creativity point. Ponies as a whole are still vastly uncreative and boring.”

“A lake of boiling cheese seems pretty creative to me!” Pinkie said cheerfully, bouncing along beside him.

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “Of course it does, because you’re a pony. You don’t consider how so much more could have been done!” He gestured to the area around them. “What about a mountain of chips? What about jalapeno boulders, or sour cream foam splashing against the mountainside?”

“Oooh,” Pinkie said. “And an onion-and-olive bridge, maybe?”

He opened his mouth to argue against it, then clicked his mouth shut. “That...is a decent idea,” he said. No way was he going to tell a pony that they had come up with an idea that was more than decently chaotic.

He came to a stop at the edge of the cliff, looking down at the boiling lake, and then at the old bridge. Up close, it seemed even older, the ropes worn and frayed and a few of the panels starting to rot away.

“This seems dangerous,” he said, approaching and tapping one of the bridge’s support poles. It quivered, but didn’t snap in two or anything.

He had to fight a devious grin from spreading on his face. He turned to Pinkie, setting his face into a serious expression. “You know,” he said. “The way this bridge looks, the slightest breeze could cause it to snap apart, or crumble into dust. And step on the wrong plank...the next thing you know, you’ll be bathing in nacho cheese!”

“Just stepping onto this could lead right to death,” he said in a grave voice, staring intently at her. Most likely she’d be scared off, at least enough that she wouldn’t dare to cross…

“Thanks for the warning!” she said cheerfully, stepping towards the bridge. “But this will all be fine. I’ve seen worse bridges than this hold up just fine.” She hummed a little to herself as he took a few steps forward.

His jaw dropped. “Wha...you’re not frightened at all by the chance things could go wrong here?”

“Of course I am!” she said as he slowly followed behind her, holding onto the ropes. “But Granny Pie taught me that hiding from your fears isn’t the way to deal with them at all! That I just needed to face them. All you gotta do is—”

She took a deep breath, and Discord winced. “If this is leading into a song, please don’t,” he said. “Or else...I’ll start rocking the bridge!”

The first note died on her lips. She froze mid-step and turned to look at him. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would,” he said. “I’ve already said ‘no songs’. If rocking an extremely old bridge you’re on over a lake of boiling liquid is what it’ll take you to stop, I will do it!”

“Not even...a short reprise?” she asked, bouncing a few more planks ahead. She took a deep breath, placing a hoof against her chest.

“No. No. No!” he said. He gripped the ropes and swayed his long body back and forth, causing the bridge to sway back and forth.

Pinkie squeaked and froze in place, gripping the ropes to keep her balance. The bridge swang left, then right, then left...and slowly came to a stop. Discord let out a deep breath, then continued forward. Pinkie slowly moved forward, one plank at a time.

Suddenly, a plank broke under one of her hoofs. She yelped and reared back, knocking into his stomach. “...giggle at the ghosty,” he heard her quietly sing under her breath.

He bore his teeth, pinning his ears back against his skull. With a quiet, low growl, he continued to rock his body. The bridge continued to swing.

“Cordy, Cordy!” she said, jumping over the gap and hopping a few planks forward. “It was only a hint of the chorus!” She skipped forward as the bridge kept swinging. “I don’t think this bridge was built to be used like this!”

He followed after her, one step at a time, flapping his wings just in case any other planks were too unstable for his weight. The bridge continued to swing, without that much further encouragement from him. Pinkie still seemed a little nervous with every sway, though, and he swore he saw her mouthing the words to whatever song she was using to give herself false bravery. He scowled, glaring at her and daring her to sing aloud, to test his patience as he was moving towards her right above a boiling lake...

His hoof and claws clicked against solid stone, interrupting his thoughts. He and Pinkie both blinked, looking down. In the midst of their back-and-forth, they had fully crossed the remainder of the bridge.

“...ah,” he said, looking back up. He narrowed his eyes at her. “You’d better not try to finish this song...or try to start a new one!”

“Aww,” she said, following him as he strode towards the looming front doors of the castle. “Not even on the way back?”

“I will pick you up and drop you over the side of the bridge,” he said bluntly.

“...what if the princess wants to hear a song?” she asked. “Or sing one about how she’s happy about being freed?”

He stared blankly, freezing in place. A sweet, sappy song, a duet between two mares who would probably become best friends before the song was even over...he gagged. “I’ll tie both of your muzzles shut, or eat my own ears,” he said. “Whichever’s easier.”

“So, um…” Pinkie said, glancing around. “Where’s the fire-breathing danger, anyway?”

“Inside, waiting to be rescued,” he said, pushing open the old wooden doors. They creaked loudly, the sound echoing through the stone halls. “...or did you mean the dragon?” he asked with a chuckle.

“Yes, I meant the dragon,” she said, giving him a Look that said he wasn’t that funny. He just rolled his eyes and headed deeper into the castle, his claws and hoof clicking against the stone floor.

The inside of the castle was dark, though a few small rivers of cheese were flowing throughout, giving the area a faint magical glow. A few pony skeletons were littered about, most of them wearing armor...and a lot of them looking burnt and smelling like burnt cheese. Pinkie shivered, stepping closer and wrapping her forelegs around his goat leg, humming to herself.

He shook her off and stepped closer to a group of knights. Maybe they were working together, or maybe one knight after another had rushed forward and fallen in the same spot...it was morbidly funny.

Most of the armor was badly rusted, or had pieces missing...although two of them had intact helmets. Discord hummed, an idea forming in his mind. “Lots of skeletons around,” he said, pulling the two good helmets off of the skulls. One of them was pretty stuck, so he had to tug at it quite hard. The skull popped off and rolled away. “What do you think: the dragon’s too lazy to clean, likes the decor, or hates the taste of pony?”

“I’d rather not think about that,” Pinkie said, standing a good distance away from the skeletons. She jumped out of the way as the skull rolled past, making him roll his eyes (and suppress a smirk).

He looked between the two helmets. He tried one of them on (after giving it an extra shake to make sure nothing else was hiding in there). It pinched his ears a bit, and it was a bit loose around his muzzle, but it fit as well as a pony's helmet could.

Tossing the other over his shoulder, he snapped his fingers. The helmet shifted, becoming a bit more comfortable, as extra magic poured into it.

"Why do you need a helmet?" Pinkie asked. "And, do you really want to take it from..." She swallowed and glanced at a nearby skeleton.

"It's not like they're going to miss it," he said. "And the helmet is for protection and disguise."

"...I'm not sure it'll make for great protection or disguise," she said tactfully. "You might want more armor pieces for that."

"I know that," he said. "That's what my magic is for."

"Oh, you used magic on the helmet?" she asked, curiosity piqued. "What'd you put on it?"

"An easy enchantment," he said. "And relatively simple...anyone who sees me might recognize that I'm not a pony, but they won't realize I'm a draconequus."

Pinkie blinked and tilted her head, staring at him. "I don't think it's working," she said.

"Because you already know I'm a draconequus, you pink puffball," he said. "All that matters is that the princess doesn't start screaming or crying or trying to run away when she sees me."

“You really think she’d do that?” Pinkie said.

“Of course,” he said. “She’s a princess. If she doesn’t faint, she’ll panic about going from the clutches of one ‘monster’ to another.” He adjusted the helmet on his head. “Now...let’s start looking for stairs.”

“I thought we were looking for a princess,” she said, poking her nose into nooks and crannies.

He sighed. “The princess is in the tallest tower,” he said. “Obviously, since that’s where every princess is locked up in every castle. No originality...” He shook his head. “Anyways, we find the stairs, we find the princess. Go start looking...over there somewhere.” He waved her off in the opposite direction he was heading in.

“Right...stairs,” she said. “You deal with the dragon, I’ll find the stairs, and we can both leave quickly…”

“That’s the general idea,” he said, heading forward and deeper into the castle. Pinkie glanced back and forth between him and the direction he had told her to go in. Finally, with a deep breath, she headed off into the castle alone.

“Stairs...stairs,” she mumbled to herself as she pushed through another set of double doors. They creaked loudly, but she continued moving, undeterred. “But there’s lots of stairs. I’ll need to find all the stairs, so we can figure out the best stairs.”

She smiled a bit, hopping up a few dilapidated steps that she found. “Here’s a few stairs, but probably not what he’s hoping for,” she said. She giggled, allowing some of her nervousness to melt away.

But while she was enjoying the small piece of humor she found—she failed to notice the large, emerald green opening right behind her, a thin black pupil focusing on her.

Meanwhile, Discord had only moved through one more hallway before he entered a brick courtyard. A few weeds grew between the cracks in the stone, surprisingly, but he was more focused on looking up.

A stone tower loomed ahead. A large window was towards its top, a light shining from inside. “Well…there’s the princess,” he said, adjusting his helmet to see a little better. “Now hopefully we can get her and get out without running into the—”

“DRAGON!” he heard Pinkie shriek. His head whipped around towards the direction of her voice.

He had looked just in time to see her dodging a large jet of fire...no, boiling melted cheese! Pinkie yelped and scrambled towards him as the liquid cheese dripped along the floor and walls.

Suddenly, a huge dragon burst through the wall, chasing after Pinkie and roaring loudly. Its scales were a bright orange, with brown spikes sticking up on its head and back. And naturally, its teeth were sharp, and longer than a pony’s foreleg.

Before he could notice anything else about it, the dragon opened its jaws, cheese starting to bubble up in the back of its throat. “Pinkie!” Discord shouted as she made a beeline towards him. “Look out!”

Pinkie’s eyelids fluttered, her ears flapping about. Just as the stream of cheese shot towards her, she dived to the right...leaving Discord directly in the path of the breath weapon. He fell to the left just in time, but he could feel the tips of his fur sizzling and scorching from the heat.

“Death by melted cheese is not what I had hoped for,” he grumbled, crawling backwards before any of it could land on him. “I am not a fondue snack!”

The dragon roared, probably not caring about his opinions. It glanced between the strange creature that was prone on the ground and the pink, quivering pony that was watching it warily...and started to move towards Pinkie.

Pinkie yelped and scrambled backwards about a foot or so. The dragon growled and reared its head back, and Discord noticed Pinkie’s knees start to shudder. With a yelp, she turned around and dropped to the ground, covering her head with her hooves...just as a stream of boiling cheese shot overhead, barely grazing the top of her poofy mane and tail.

The dragon continued to march towards Pinkie. “Oh no you don’t,” Discord growled, having managed to get back to his feet. He rushed forward and wrapped his arms around the dragon’s tail, his claws scrabbling against the scales until he found purchase in between them, hopefully digging into the dragon’s skin.

“Gotcha!” he said with a grin. With a bit of magic, he gave himself a burst of strength, enough to tug on the dragon’s heavy tail. The dragon snarled and whipped its head around to glare at him, so it didn’t seem to appreciate that.

He watched as Pinkie jumped to her hooves, running away and into a short, nearby tower. He sighed slightly in relief, his grip slightly loosening on the dragon’s tail.

The dragon looked between where Pinkie had disappeared, and the annoyance clinging to its tail. The tail shifted, causing his feet to skid slightly across the stone ground.

“...I didn’t think this through,” Discord said, his face going pale as the dragon turned its head to glare at him. Apparently he was the bigger annoyance...and possibly the easiest to deal with at the moment.

Its tail rocked back and forth, and so he tightened his grip, digging his feet into the ground. The dragon kept whipping its tail until it managed to actually lift Discord from the ground, swinging him through the air.

“Hah! It’ll take more than this to stop—” Before he could finish his boast, the dragon flicked his tail forward, causing his claws to slip away from the scales. He started to sail right over the dragon’s head, right past its large jaws.

Fortunately, he was able to use magic and wings to twist and twirl around in the air, landing on his feet right on the edge of a convenient hole in the side of the princess’s tower. “And that...is a ten-point landing,” he said smugly. “Just as planned.” At least, that’s what I’ll tell Pinkie…

Still, Pinkie had run off, and there was an angry dragon barely a few feet away—while he was at the perfect height to be hit with a breath weapon. That was all the motivation he needed to duck into the tower’s stairwell.

The dragon roared angrily, and he watched as boiling cheese sprayed into the stairwell. He pressed against the wall next to the hole, avoiding the attack, even though he felt the heat on his skin.

With another roar, he heard the dragon turn away. Hopefully Pinkie can handle herself for a few minutes, he thought. He stepped out onto the center of the stairs and started heading up them.

Pinkie, meanwhile, had scrambled up the short tower’s stairs and was dashing across the bridge it led to. The dragon had been briefly distracted, maybe long enough for her to get away…!

Her tail started to twitch, and the knees of her forelegs started to pinch. With a gasp, she dug her hooves into the stone, screeching to a stop. A second later, a dragon tail smashed into the bridge, blocking her path!

With a yelp, she scrambled and turned the other way—but the dragon was already there, his front claws perched on the bridge as his head towered above. It roared in her face, spraying flecks of nacho cheese everywhere and making her back up as much as she could, bumping into his tail.

“Oh no, oh no!” she said. “W-what large teeth you have! Which are really, really shiny, by the way! And that’s after your nacho cheese breath—that’s super impressive! You must bleach or something, because that’s a dazzling smile you’ve got there!” The dragon blinked in surprise, dropping their ferocious snarl and instead regarding her with curiosity. “And you know what else, you know what else, you’re…”

She stared at him, searching for something else to ramble about and keep herself out of a dragon’s jaw for just a few seconds longer. The dragon smiled, showing off their fangs, and swallowed nervously...drawing Pinkie’s attention to the large Adam's apple on their throat.

“A boy dragon!” she said in realization. “Aww, of course! Why didn’t I see it? Boys love nachos! I mean, mares too, but I feel like I see boys eat them more often, y’know!?” He nodded, confirming her realization and observation.

“But hey!” she said. “Instead of blistering me with super hot nacho cheese, you should let me go! ‘Cause I gotta tell ya, I’ll bet if I were you, I’d be super-duper-LOOPER tired of the taste of nacho breath all the time!” He nodded, a bit sadly. “You’re probably thinking, ‘gosh, I’d really just like a cupcake for once!’ But you poor thing, you can’t even get to a ye olde grocery store, can ya?” He shook his head.

“But you’re in luck! My Pinkie Sense told me to bring some of these!” She reached into her mane and pulled out a cupcake, dropping it on the bridge between the two of them. “Here ya go! So don’t melt me up, ‘kay? The scales on your head kinda look like a floofy mane, and we floof-heads gotta stick together!”

With his tail still blocking her path, he leaned down and curiously sniffed the cupcake. “Yup! There ya go!” she said. “I’ll bet you like chocolate peanut butter, huh?”

“So you can have allllll of that, and then let me go, and then we can just take that princess, and you get the cupcake, and we all go on our merry way and you never see me ever again! Everyone’s happy!”

The dragon nabbed the cupcake with his teeth and tossed it into the air. He snapped it up and swallowed it as it fell, licking his lips and smiling. “Great!” she said. “Have a baker’s dozen!” She reached into her mane and tossed a small pile of cupcakes onto the bridge. “Eat it niiiice and slowly…” She began slowly backing away, trying to get around his tail.

His head snapped back up towards her, and he leaned in close, staring at her intently. His nostrils flared.

“Oh, no no, Mr. Cheese Dragon, you don’t want me, remember?” she said, inching back. “You want the cupcakes! And I gave you a whole baker’s dozen! Juuust enough to make you forget about the princess in the tower, which I definitely don’t want to help Discord take! Nope!”

Cheese Dragon glanced between the tower, the pile of cupcakes, and Pinkie...and then leaned closer to Pinkie, grinning. “Um…” she said, starting to sweat.

He began to sniff at Pinkie curiously. She backed away, and he bowed his head, still keeping his eyes trained on her. Suddenly, her left eye twitched, and her tail flicked violently left and right. She gasped.

“Oh no...my Pinkie sense is telling me...You…” She backed away more quickly. “YOU THINK I’M HOT!”

He blushed a little, and nodded slightly. He blew a cloud of nacho-smelling smoke in her direction...in the shape of a heart.

“Well, that’s um, really sweet,” she said, inching away. “But I’m uh, I’m an asthmatic, so I don’t think that will work out, with you making nacho smoke rings and all that stuff…” The dragon frowned and covered his snout with his claws, looking at her with wide, sad eyes.

She whimpered at the look he gave her. “I’m sorry…!” She turned and shouted in the direction of the princess’s tower, “Discord!”

The dragon sniffed and closed both of his nostrils, carefully gripping her fluffy tail in between his teeth. He lifted her up with a lovestruck expression on his face.

“No! Discord! Cordy! Cordy!” Pinkie continued to shout as the dragon carried her further into the castle, making sure to be careful with her.

Princess Fluttershy had dared to allow herself to hope, when she heard Cheese Sandwich the dragon start to roar and fight someone, someone she hadn’t been able to see. Had her rescuer finally arrived?

But each time before this, her hopes had been dashed. And so, she tried to clamp that hope down, waiting for the sound of fighting to be over, and then for Cheese to peer up at her tower and solemnly shake his head, for her dreams to be torn away again...but still, there was a tiny spark of hope.

The fighting and shouting stopped quickly this time...but Cheese didn’t show up. Curious, she peeked out of her window, but didn’t see her dragon captor anywhere. Despite the small sorrow in her heart that Cheese had possibly been killed, she couldn’t stop the spark of hope that began to grow. Could it be that...finally, a knight had won?

She hurried to her door and pressed her ear against the door. It was faint, and a bit far away, but...yes, she could hear a shuffling sound, and hoofsteps coming up the stone stairs!

Hope bloomed in her chest, and she couldn’t help but dance a little giddily. She quickly unlocked the door, then checked herself in the mirror. Her mane was fine, nice and brushed, her dress still looked nice, her gold necklace sparkled against her coat...her rescuer was here!

Happily, she went back to her bed and laid on her back, placing her head against the pillow. She had imagined this day for so long...and thank goodness, they hadn’t come at night, like she had been worried about for a while...she shook her head. Today wasn’t a day for worrying, not at all.

She reached to the glass vase beside her bed, where a large white lily was being kept fresh with water. She picked it up and held it between her hooves, with it placed against her chest, just under her chin, as she peacefully laid on her back.

But oh, she was too anxious to just sit still, knowing her knight would be here soon! She shifted, adjusting her dress slightly before gripping the lily between her front hooves again. She closed her eyes, listening intently as she heard hoofsteps approaching from the stairs.

Would this finally be it? Was her rescuer finally here? She had dreamed about this day for years, but now that it was happening, her heart was racing, nervousness pooling in the pit of her stomach.

Just stay calm, she thought to herself, swallowing. Her throat was so dry...she could only hope her lips weren’t chapped. There wasn’t time to do anything about it. Just stay calm, and wait…

Her nervousness reached a fever pitch as she heard the door creak open. It took all of her willpower to keep her eyes closed instead of stealing a glance at her knight, and she clung tightly to the lily’s stem to hide the fact her hooves were trembling.

Discord opened the door, adjusting his helmet. Good thing it hadn’t fallen off...it would have been a pain to remake the enchantment.

The room here was very small, though still clearly designed for royalty—a small chandelier hung from the ceiling, a couple of tapestries were on the wall, a rug was on the floor...and there was a bed right across from him, right under the window. A yellow pegasus in a green dress was asleep on the bed, holding a pure white lily against her chest.

Ugh. Did all princesses train themselves to even sleep in what was the most cliche way possible? He rolled his eyes as he approached.

The air held still for a second as he stood right by her bedside. The light streaming through the window was soft, and everything was silent. For a brief moment, he had the odd sense that there was an almost...expectant feeling in the air. He could also swear that she was starting to pucker her lips, just the slightest bit.

He promptly discarded the idea, grabbed the pegasus’s shoulders, and violently shook her.

“Waagh!” she said as she head flopped up and down onto the pillow, now awake.

“Wake up!” he hissed at her. “Are you Princess Fluttershy? I’m guessing you are, since this is the only tower in this area I’ve heard of that has a technicolor yellow bird horse inside.”

“I-I am!” she said, blinking and shaking her head to recover from being shaken. She smiled softly, sitting up and leaning forward. “Awaiting a knight so brave as to rescue me!”

“Uh huh, yeah, that’s great,” Discord said, glancing around and keeping one of his ears perked up. “Now let’s go!” He grasped her foreleg and tugged her up and onto her hooves.

“B-but Sir Knight!” she protested, digging her hooves into the ground as he tried to lead her to the door. “This is...be-ith our first meeting? Shouldn’t it be a wonderful, romantic scene?” She batted her eyelashes at him.

“Oh, gag me with a spoon,” he said, rolling his eyes. “Except that we have no spoons, and no time!”

Her face fell, her expression shifting between confusion and sadness. “Well...can I...at least know the name of my rescuer?”

“Um...Discord,” he said, still tugging her along. He finally managed to get her onto the stairwell, at least.

She inhaled deeply. “Sir...Discord. I pray you take this as a token of my gratitude.” She reached into her dress, then offered him a pure-white handkerchief, embroidered with golden thread along its edges.

“Thanks!” he said, plucking it out of her hoof. “Embroidery is a bit too perfect for my taste, but it’ll do.”

“O-oh…” she said, looking heartbroken and offended.

He took a bite out of the cloth. “Mmph, good material, though. Is that silk?”

She gave a horrified gasp as her embroidery work disappeared into his jaws. She appeared completely mortified, and even more confused and offended.

“Hey!” he said, snapping up the rest in a few bites. “You gave it as a gift, which gives me the right to use it as my dietary fiber should I choose to use it as such. But what I need even more is to find the pink terror and get all of us out here!”

She chuckled nervously, glancing around and trying to think of a way to make the most of this...off-script, less than ideal situation. “Ahem...alright...well! Shouldn’t you escort me out yonder window?” She gestured back to the window in her room, batting her eyelashes.

“Nah, I just ate,” he said, continuing down the stairwell. “I prefer to let myself digest before using window-based chaos.”

“...but sheesh, you’ve had a lot of time to plan this, haven’t you?” he said as he passed the hole he had used to enter the tower.

“Mhmm,” she said, reluctantly following behind him, dragging her hooves a bit. “It is what you’re supposed to do after slaying the dragon, after all!”

Discord was silent, and she remembered the rest of his unorthodox behavior. “...because you definitely slayed the dragon, right?” she continued, her eyelid starting to twitch.

“Slay the dragon?” he said. “Where’s the fun in that?”

She froze in place, then forced a laugh. “Ha ha...I’m sorry, what!?”

“I find that it’s much more chaotic if you keep the dragon alive and motivated,” he said as though it was perfectly normal. “Hold tight, bird horse princess!” He scooped her up under her forelegs and stepped out of the hole, gliding towards the stone bridge below.

She stammered in complete shock. “You didn’t slay the dragon!? Or trap him, or...or do anything besides irritate him!?”

“It has cheese breath,” he said as he landed, dropping her back on her hooves. “I didn’t think slaying it was necessary. Aren’t you frou-frou princesses supposed to love animals anyway, or something?”

“It’s...not like I want Cheese Sandwich to...to die…” she said guiltily, scuffing the ground. “If he could stay alive, if we could all get out of this safely, I would be relieved… But, I’m allergic to cheese! If he gets near me...b-besides, if you don’t at least trap him or anything, he’ll...someone will get hurt!”

“Ohhh, I see! I get it now!” he said, “My eyes see the light! That just because this creature was born with a trait it had no choice in, a trait that inconveniences you personally, as a species it had no choice about, then it’s okay to treat it worse! Of course, of course, I keep forgetting that you’re more than just a princess that can’t even leave a tower—you’re a pony, too! Which is synonymous with entitled hypocrite!” He jabbed his claw against her nose.

She stared at him blankly for a few moments, her eyes widening as she reeled back. He scoffed and turned away, continuing forward. “Anyway!” he said. “Regardless of whether the dragon’s been stopped or all monarchs and ponies are hypocrites, there is something I need to take care of before we can actually leave. I gotta go save the annoying pink one.”

“...pink one?” she asked, her brow furrowing.

“Yeah, I brought another mare with me,” he said casually. “I should probably grab her on the way out.”

“And...you’re just going around, traveling with and saving several mares?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“If it makes you angry to see it that way, then...yes,” he said, turning and heading down a hallway that smelled the strongest of draconic nachos. That large door at the very end seemed to be a likely place… “Now excuse me while I go grab her. It sounds like she’s gotten herself an unwanted admirer.”

She stood in place, gaping at him for a moment. “...what kind of knight are you?” she asked, sounding almost aghast.

He paused for a moment as he pressed a hand against one of the wooden double doors. “One of a kind,” he said, turning back for a moment and smirking at her. After taking a moment to watch her stunned reaction, opening and closing her mouth, he turned back around and silently pushed the door open.

The room inside was very large, big enough that the dragon could comfortably fit—which it was. Its attention was currently focused on the pink terror, wrapped up in its tail and sitting on a large pile of...rubber chickens.

“Now, uh, you seem like a real nice guy and all, and I have to admire someone dedicated to collecting joke items,” Pinkie babbled. “But, you know...the asthma, and I’m always on the road so much, so maybe we should just start off as pen pals?”

The dragon just smiled, his claws gently patting down a stray strand of Pinkie’s fluffy mane. He glanced around the room for a few moments, and Discord quickly ducked behind the door. No point in ruining a good chance for a sneak attack. The dragon’s eyes flicked over the metal chandelier above, the assortment of rubber chickens below...finally landing on a metal bowl.

The giant reptile reached for the bowl, leaning up towards the chandelier. He breathed a very fine jet of boiling cheese over the candles, causing the wicks to suddenly light from the heat. Discord shivered, feeling suddenly very glad that he hadn’t gotten hit by that.

Meanwhile, he brought over the bowl and breathed a large amount of cheese in it, suddenly dropping a large amount of chips in, as well. He offered the hot snack food to Pinkie with a hopeful grin.

Pinkie grinned widely, but the corners of her mouth were twitching, and her eyes betrayed how nervous and anxious she was. “Um, thank you, but I...I had a big breakfast, so uh, not feeling too hungry…”

He didn’t think he could stand anymore of her babbling, or watching the dragon try to woo her. “You like pies, huh?” he said, eyes gleaming with an idea. With a roll of his eyes and a snap of his fingers, he teleported her out of the ‘treasure’ hoard and to his side, a giant box with a lever on its side taking her place. Cheese snorted in surprise, dropping the bowl of nachos.

Pinkie blinked as she appeared in a flash of light, looking around in confusion. Her eyes locked on him, and she beamed. “Cordy!” She rushed forward for a hug, but he placed his paw against her face and held her back a foot or so, her forelegs extending uselessly towards him.

“...Sir Discord?” the princess whispered, creeping forward with her head down. Pinkie was still waving her forelegs in the air, trying to hug him. “Shouldn’t we leave now?”

“In a minute,” he said, waving her off. With a flick of his tail feathers, the lever of the box began to turn, a simple jack-in-the-box tune playing. Cheese blinked and began to nod to the music, though he still looked very confused. “I want to see this.”

“I just think—” Before she could finish, he pushed Pinkie away and towards her. They could talk to each other about escape and sunshine and rainbows and whatever else ponies thought of...as long as they didn’t distract him too much. He chuckled and rubbed his hands together. This had to be one of his best ideas yet!

“Hi, your majesty!” Pinkie said brightly, holding her hoof out to the princess. “I’m Pinkie Pie! Nice to meet you.”

“H-hi,” she said, taking Pinkie’s hoof. Pinkie shook it vigorously enough that her head started bobbing up and down. “It’s...nice to meet you. I’m...Flutter, er, Princess Fluttershy.”

Discord leaned away from the two of them, poking his head through the door to get a closer look at his ingenious plan. The dragon was still too confused by the running jack-in-the-box to have noticed him at all. He chuckled quietly to himself, rubbing his hands together.

Cheese Sandwich tilted his head, sniffing at the box. The lever continued to turn, the chime playing and becoming faster and faster with each loop.

“Sir Discord, I really think we should go…” the princess said, grabbing his wrist and trying to tug him away.

He pulled his paw away and shushed her. “I don’t want to miss this! Oh, this is going to be gold…” Already, he could barely contain his grin.

The lever of the box began to slow down, the music gradually slowing with it. The last few notes played, the pauses in between them growing increasingly longer. The lever and music both came to a stop, and for a few moments, everything was still and silent.

Then, the top of the box popped open. A donkey-like puppet sprang out, flinging a gigantic pie into the dragon’s face. A tinny cackling sound came from the box as whipped cream and shampoo covered Cheese’s face.

Cheese roared in both surprise and pain, flailing backwards and swatting at the pie. He managed to knock the tin away, and began to furiously rub at his eyes, trying to get the stinging shampoo out.

Discord clasped his hands over his mouth, trying to stifle his giggles...but he just couldn’t help it. He leaned against the wall and placed a hand on his chest, guffawing. “Oh, that’s just priceless!” he said, laughing so hard he was starting to tear up. “The look on his face! Ah ha ha ha!”

He kept laughing and laughing...until Pinkie tapped his side. “What?” he said, flicking a tear out of his eye with his claw.

Both she and the princess were standing completely still, their eyes wide and faces pale as they stared straight ahead. Pinkie pointed forward. He slowly turned his head to see what had spooked them...and froze in place.

Cheese Sandwich had raised his head to the level of the door and was glaring right at the three of them. There were still flecks of whipped cream and shampoo suds covering his face, and his emerald eyes looked red and irritated. Discord swallowed, hoping he was still at least a little blinded...but the way the draconic pupils focused on him and narrowed disproved that.

Cheese roared in anger, showing off his impressive fangs to Discord as boiling cheese bubbled in the back of his throat. “Run!” the princess shrieked. Pinkie didn’t need any further encouragement, jumping into the air with her legs peddling before zipping down the hall in a pink blur.

The princess galloped right behind her, looking back over her shoulder at Discord. He gulped, taking a few steps backwards as the dragon glared him down...and then turned and ran right after the two mares.

There was an angry roar behind him, and the sound of something very large crashing through the doors and possibly the wall. Discord felt sweat form on his brow, and a bit of heat on his back encouraged him to use a little magic to catch up to the others. Heavy, fast footsteps caused the floor to shake and told him the dragon wasn’t far behind them.

He and the princess caught up to Pinkie, who sped up once they were close enough. The three of them continued running. “Right!” Pinkie shouted as they approached a fork in the corridor. They all made a sharp turn, and Discord prayed that Pinkie remembered the shortest way to the exit. They weren’t heading deeper into the keep, as far as he could tell, at least...

“Being chased for my life really isn’t the rescue I was hoping for,” the princess panted, galloping at his left. “I really don’t think taunting Cheesy was a bright idea. He’s sensitive.”

Discord scoffed as they turned another corner. “I’m puh-lenty bright, princess,” he said. “And it’s not like you’re the only one getting chased here! He’s not being sensitive to us at all!” The dragon roared from far behind...but not far enough. “Just keep running, would you!?”

“I am running,” she said. “But...I don’t know...if I can make it…” She was starting to look pretty tired. He scowled, gritting his teeth.

I am plenty bright, he thought to himself. Bright enough to think of a way to get us out! He started wracking his brain for something, anything just crazy enough to work...and maybe get the princess to quit snarking at him.

Suddenly, an idea sparked in his mind, a crazy one that made a manic grin spread across his fun. He could almost feel himself already shivering with excitement. “You know,” he said. “There is one place it can’t breathe that boiling cheese at me…”

“W-what?” the princess said, glancing up at him.

“Does that mean you have a plan!?” Pinkie said, still running ahead.

“For once, yes! Sort of,” he said. “You two keep running to the exit...while I go back and add ‘dragon rider’ to my extensive résumé.” He grinned and turned on his heels, dashing back towards where he could still hear angry roars.

“Sir Discord!” he heard the princess call out. He glanced back, just in time to see Pinkie continue pulling her forward by her hoof and around a corner. He nodded in satisfaction, and kept heading towards the dragon, stretching his arms and legs as he moved.

In no time at all, the dragon rounded the corner and locked its emerald eyes on him. It growled and charged forward, and the air grew heavy with the smell of nachos as cheese dripped from its jaws.

He stopped in place and began counting on his fingers, focusing on the large dragon...and on his magic. “Three...two...one,” he said. On one, the dragon opened its jaws and launched a stream of boiling yellow liquid at him...and he snapped his fingers and teleported away.

He reappeared on the dragon’s back, right behind its neck. He cackled and wrapped his arms around the thick neck in front of him, gripping on tightly as the dragon turned it’s head, growling angrily.

“This is amazing!” he said, laughing as the dragon tried to bend his neck and grab him in its jaws. “Oh man...now, what do I do with you?” He snapped his tail feathers and created a cloth collar around the dragon’s neck, with reins he could grab and pull back on.

The dragon roared, breathing a stream of boiling cheese right over his head. He easily ducked, huddling close to his scales. “I wouldn’t do that!” he said. “Even your scales might be a bit burnt by that...not to mention you can’t reach me that well!”

He only received a snarl in response...and then, the dragon beat its wings and flew up into the air. He laughed. “Oh no, not heights!” he said. “My one weakness!” He chuckled, shaking his head. “Really, you think this is going to convince me to get off?”

The dragon just snorted, climbing up the walls and reaching a great height, flapping his wings to shake upside down. Discord gripped tightly onto the reins and swallowed. “Oh...I see what you’re doing,” he said. “But it’s not going to—!” Before he could finish, one of the dragon’s wings smacked him in the side, knocking him off-balance.

He tried to keep his grip on the reins, but the dragon’s wing struck him again. Before he could recover, the dragon snagged him with one of his claws, tossing him away.

Discord flinched, covering his head. “This’ll hurt...oh wait!” With a laugh, he flapped his wings and twisted in the air, floating in midair and grinning up at the dragon. “You’re not the only one with wings,” he said. “What now?”

The dragon growled, baring its fangs...and let go, dropping down towards him with his jaws open, boiling cheese bubbling in the back of its throat. “Oh,” Discord said, eyes widening. He let his wings snap back to his side, and quickly snapped his tail feathers, disappearing in a flash of light.

He only managed to reappear about halfway down the hallway. The dragon’s jaws snapped on the air where he had just been floating, and boiling cheese dribbled onto the floor. Its emerald eyes darted and quickly locked onto him, and it began to charge again.

Discord snapped his fingers, trying to teleport, but his magic only made faint sparks and flashes. “Ugh, I hate being away from home!” he said. He dropped to all fours and scampered away, quickly darting around corners, his ears perked up to hear the dragon chasing him.

Scampering had never been Discord’s forte. Floating was much more his speed, and quite literally. He was always a lot faster floating. But scampering and running for his life like some common quadruped? It was like putting rusted wheels on a limp noodle.

But he was close to the exit, and he spotted the lemon and bubblegum-colored dots ahead of him. “Keep.... Going!” he gasped, looking behind him. The dragon wasn’t far from him. They’d never make it if he didn’t come up with some way to slow him down.

He was so busy worrying over his own life that he didn’t watch as his tail flopped around his foot and he nearly tripped, stumbling a bit before regaining his balance.

That was a close one! he thought. Had he fallen, he’d be dragon food, with no time to…

Wait a minute.

This castle was full of support columns, and his tail had a natural stretch to it that only needed a small bit of chaos magic to give it an extra boost.

His grin stretched into a smirk.

“So you’re into annoying pink fluffballs, hmm? Oho, you poor, big cheesy sap…” Discord suddenly stopped and grabbed a column, his tail fastening around it.

The dragon growled, digging his claws into the ground to slow down, his talons making sparks against the tiles.

Discord shot himself to the other side, his tail stretching out just long enough to block the entire hallway.

The dragon had no chance; it happened too fast. It’s legs went crashing as it slid into Discord’s tail, making him land and roll forward and against his head.

Discord yanked his tail back to his body, seeing the dragon temporarily knocked out.

“Discord, three, Dragon—zero,” he said with a smirk. “Maybe next time...except that’ll be never!”

The dragon snorted, a bit of nacho-smelling smoke pouring from it’s nostrils. Discord flinched. “Aaaand I should probably run instead of staying and gloating,” he said, dropping onto all fours again. He continued running forward in the direction Pinkie and the princess had been running in.

He found them right at the front entrance. Pinkie’s back hooves were planted in the ground as she tried to drag the princess along, but her own hooves were firmly planted. “You’re back!” she said happily as soon as Discord approached.

“What are you still doing here?” he said. “C’mon, go go go! Unless you want to leave a note apologizing for knocking him out?”

“I was waiting for you,” she said. “I didn’t want to leave you behind...although a note might be a nice thing to do…”

“Nope, no time,” he said, grasping her foreleg and tucking her along with him out the door. “We stop for you to write a note, and the next thing you know, the dragon will be up and chasing us again!”

Pinkie yelped, and immediately joined him in tugging the princess along. “But...Cheese isn’t a bad dragon, really. He always meant well, it wasn’t his fault he was forced to guard me. My allergy is the only reason we couldn't be better friends...” the princess said, glancing sadly over her shoulder. “We’re just going to leave him without saying anything?”

“Yes,” Discord said bluntly, pulling her outside. Freedom laid just beyond a fragile old wooden bridge over a lake of molten cheese!

Of course, the princess stiffened up at the very edge of the bridge. “I...I don’t know about this…” she said quietly, looking nervously at the boiling cheese below.

“Oh, for the love of—” he growled. He scooped her up under his arm, then began to rush across the bridge. She yelped, her hooves pedaling as they dangled high above the wooden planks.

He ran across the bridge, skipping the planks that looked particularly unstable. A glance between him told him that Pinkie was following, but extremely slowly and hesitantly. With a growl, he stretched out his tail again, wrapping it around her waist and lifting her up.

Though he was a bit slowed down by having to carry two ponies, he rushed quickly across the rest of the bridge. He dropped Pinkie, who managed to land on her hooves, then dropped the princess to the rocky ground with slightly more care.

“Now we just have to climb down this mountain before the dragon wakes up,” he said. “And we’ll be done. C’mon, c’mon! We may have gotten past the worst parts, but we’re not exactly done yet!”

“R-right!” Princess Fluttershy said. She stumbled to her hooves and finally began trotting forward, though not without several glances back behind to make sure the two of them were following her.

He rolled his eyes and followed close behind her, mentally urging her to go faster. Fortunately, Pinkie was hurrying ahead and up the slope.

The princess paused briefly at the very top of the mountain. He got ready to push her, but fortunately, she moved forward, sliding down the slope on her hooves. Pinkie leapt forward just after her, rolling down the hill instead of sliding.

After pausing and watching for a second to make sure they wouldn’t run into any rocks (he did not want to deal with a crying, injured princess or any angry lord who was mad that she got hurt), he began to walk down the mountain. Rolling just like Pinkie was tempting, and quick, but could dislodge his helmet.

But of course, using so much magic out of his dimension had drained him, and now that his adrenaline was wearing off, he realized how weak and limp his legs felt. He sighed and dropped to the ground, following Pinkie’s example and rolling over himself, all of his limbs feeling tired and weak.

“I hate being away from home,” he grumbled as he bounced through a hole in the slope.

Eventually, he reached the bottom, with a few new bruises to add to his collection. Pinkie was already at the bottom on her hooves, and the princess reached ground just seconds before him. He ended up as a tangled knot when he finally stopped rolling, his limbs wrapped around themselves and his head under his arms and tail.

“You did it!” the princess said, twirling as soon as her hooves were on flat ground. “You rescued me! You were amazing, you were…”

She turned to face him just as he was picking himself up from the tangle he had tumbled himself into. “...a bit unorthodox, I must admit,” she said slowly. “But...your actions were brave, and you showed mercy to the dragon—you must be a very kind soul.”

He raised an eyebrow, adjusting his helmet to ensure it hadn’t fallen off. “Weren’t you just angry with me? About...pretty much everything?”

“W-well…” she said, seeming to be caught off-guard. “You...aren’t a typical knight, at all, your methods of facing Cheese were...bizarre, and your words and actions did...annoy me a bit…” She shook her head. “But your deed was great, and your heart is pure. I am in your debt.”

She beamed up at him. “Well,” he said, shifting. “I don’t know about ‘pure of heart’ or ‘kind soul’, but I do make a good knight, don’t I?” He puffed up his chest, allowing himself a bit of smugness. “Probably the first one to think of something besides ‘pray and charge in’ as a strategy.”

“Ahem,” Pinkie said, coughing into her hoof and looking at him expectantly.

“...and I guess I had a little help,” he said begrudgingly, patting her on the back. “Though I was still the main rescuer, here! I had to save both of your pastel technicolor coats.”

Pinkie just smiled and rolled her eyes at him. “And there’s nothing wrong with receiving help from a...friend?” Princess Fluttershy said. Pinkie grinned and nodded, while Discord just shrugged.

“Besides, where would a brave knight be, without his…” Princess Fluttershy paused, tilting her head and looking over Pinkie. “...bard? To tell of his great deeds?”

Pinkie smiled, puffing out her chest a little. “Bard...well, I am a one-pony band...I do like the sound of that!”

Discord groaned. “Great. Another excuse she’ll use to start singing...just what I always wanted.” He noticed that the princess was staring at him, her smile soft but her eyes scrutinizing. “Um...can I help you with something?”

She flinched a little. “Um...the battle is won, Sir Discord. Aren’t you going to remove your helmet now?”

He blinked, and pretended to think. “Well...nope. I’ll leave it on.” Last thing I need is for her to run off scared…

“Why...why not?” she asked, sounding a little upset. “I want...I would’st look upon the face of my rescuer.”

“Trust me, you don’t want that,” he said. “Or should I say...you wouldn’t—’st, princess?”

She frowned, scuffing at the ground with a hoof. “But...if you won’t take off your helmet, how are we to kiss?”

Discord choked and backed away, coughing. “That—! That wasn’t a part of the job description!”

“Might be a benefit,” Pinkie said. “A perk, even, if you asked...well, I think a lot of ponies would call it a perk.” She glanced over at the princess and winked.

The princess blushed. “N-no,” she said. “It’s...it’s destiny. In every tale, a princess locked in a tower or kept prisoner by some dragon or monster is rescued by a brave knight...and then they share true love’s kiss.”

“Oh, yeah!” Pinkie said cheerfully. “That happened in all the fairy tales Granny Pie read to me as a filly. It was always—” She paused, staring blankly forward. “Wait, wait. You think that Discord,” she gestured toward him as he tilted his head, “Is your true love?”

“Well, yes,” the princess said, smiling sweetly at them.

Discord and Pinkie both blinked. They looked at each other, then at Princess Fluttershy...then both burst out laughing.

“You...you think Discord is your true love!” Pinkie cackled. Discord was laughing so hard that he had to lean against the nearest rock structure, clutching his stomach.

“Y-yes!” the princess said. “And I...I don’t understand why you think that’s so funny!”

Pinkie giggled, her laughter coming to a halt (though Discord’s keen sense of hearing picked up a few quiet snickers from her). He straightened up and swiped a tear out of the corner of his eye. “Heh...let’s just say that I’m not your type,” he said with another chuckle.

“What do you mean?” she asked. “Of course you are. You rescued me. Even if your methods weren’t conventional, you must be a kind and brave po—” She froze and tilted her head, her brows furrowing.

“You’re...not a pony,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “What...are you?” She looked troubled, as though she could see all of a puzzle but wasn’t able to figure out where all the pieces went.

“Discord,” Pinkie said. “You should take off your helmet...I think you’re starting to upset her.”

Discord opened his mouth, about to say that she would be more upset without the enchantment...then noticed the pained expression on the princess’s face, almost like she was about to cry. He rolled his eyes and grabbed the helmet.

“Alright, fine,” he said. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” With that, he removed the helmet and chucked it aside, wiping a bit of sweat off of his brow.

He watched as her eyes widened, lighting up in realization. “Oh…” she said, her expression morphing into one of confusion, then one of sadness. “You’re...a draconequus.” She took a few steps back, but stumbled and fell back on her haunches. “You’re…you’re not supposed to be a…”

“A draconequus?” he said. “Let me guess, you were expecting Prince Charming? Some handsome, perfectly boring pony stallion?”

“Yes, actually,” she said. She still hadn’t gotten up, and was staring off into space. “This is...this is all wrong. This isn’t how this is supposed to happen…”

Discord groaned, rolling his eyes. “Look, I’m not interested in ‘being your true love’ or whatever. I was sent to rescue you by Lord Tirek. He’s the one who wants to marry you.”

The princess lifted her head, looking genuinely upset. “Then...why didn’t he come rescue me himself?”

He shrugged. “Cowardliness, laziness, fear of being set on fire, etcetera...you can ask him the exact reason why when we get there.” He grabbed one of her front hooves and pulled her back onto her hooves.

Before he could start leading her away, she yanked her hoof out of his grip. “No!” she said. “I’m supposed to be rescued by my true love, not by a draconequus and his, his—”

“Bard?” Pinkie said, a little hopefully. The princess just inhaled sharply and took a few steps backwards. Pinkie frowned in disappointment.

Discord sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose. “Look, Princess. I came here to do a job, and you’re not making it any easier. The sooner you just...come along with us, the sooner we all don’t have to put up with each other anymore.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, turning her nose up into the air. “But I can’t do that. You can tell Lord Tirek that if he wants to rescue me properly, I’ll be waiting right here.” She huffed and laid down next to one of the closest rocks, turning away from them both.

He growled a little. “I did not walk all this way, only to be sent back. Especially since I’ll either be sent back again to fetch you, or I won’t be given what I was promised for doing this in the first place!” He marched forward, rolling up his skin as though they were sleeves.

The princess looked up at him, a little worried. “What...what are you…?” Before she could finish her question, he bent down and scooped her up, throwing her over his shoulder.

“Hey! Put me down!” she yelled. She flailed, uselessly striking his back with her hooves.

He just rolled his eyes and started walking away. “You coming, Pinkie?”

Pinkie frowned. “Discord...this seems...kind of wrong,” she said, glancing at the princess who was still futilely wailing at his back.

“Oh, would you rather wait for your admirer to wake up?”

Pinkie flinched and trotted up to him. “I’m right behind you,” she said. “Sorry, princess…”

“Please, put me down!” she said. She had stopped hitting him, but was still trying to struggle out of his grip. “This is undignified...I can’t believe you’d do this to a princess! Put me down!”

Discord just rolled his eyes, tightened his grip, and kept walking forward.

The Night

“So...princess,” Pinkie said. “Mare to mare, what’s the best way to dissuade someone who...kind of likes you and seems a little nice, but you’re not really interested in him like that...and you want to turn them down really nicely so that they don’t cover you in boiling cheese?”

Fluttershy sighed, still draped over Discord’s back. He didn’t trust her to not run off and get lost in the woods. “Well...you just tell him he’s not your true love,” she said. “True love is...something you’ll know, when you see them for the first time…”

“And yet, you thought I was your true love before seeing what I looked like,” Discord said with a roll of his eyes. “Now I think we both know that that’s not true, so your reasoning is a little bit faulty, isn’t it, princess?”

Princess Fluttershy scowled, making another pointless attempt to strike his back with her hoof. She sighed, and became limp. “The sooner we get to Duloc, the better,” she muttered, a sentiment Discord agreed with.

“Oh, yeah. It’s really nice there, Princess Fluttershy!” Pinkie said cheerfully, a sentiment Discord disagreed with...though he made a face of disgust instead of saying anything. “I’m sure that you’ll like it.”

“And...Lord Tirek?” she asked, her curiosity piqued. “The one who sent you...what is he like?”

“Well…” Discord’s lips twitched into a smirk. “Creatures like Tirek are in short supply.”

He winked at Pinkie, who grinned and mouthed, ‘puns?’. His grin widened, and he nodded. “Though…” he said slowly. “There are some who think little of him.” Pinkie snickered, pressing a hoof to her lips to try and stifle it.

“Stop it,” Fluttershy said, sounding annoyed and pushing against his back again. “You’re just...just jealous because this Lord Tirek has more noble blood, and, and you can’t measure up to him!”

Discord rolled his eyes (my, they were getting a lot of exercise today) at the weak, barely-attempted argument. “You can do the measuring yourself, when we get to Duloc tomorrow,” he said. “Then we can all go our separate ways and be done with all of this.”

“Tomorrow?” she said. “I didn’t know Duloc was that close…”

“It’s not,” he said. “But I want you off my hands as soon as possible, and if that means traveling through the night, so be it.”

“T-travel through the night?” she said nervously. “Shouldn’t we stop to make camp?”

“That’d take longer,” he said. Although resting and getting some magic back is a bit tempting… “We’re traveling through the night.”

“B-b-but…” the princess said. She began suddenly squirming, surprising him enough that she dropped to the ground. Thankfully, even though she landed on her hooves, all she did was rush forward to block his path. “T-there are robbers in the woods!”

“Robbers?” Pinkie said. “...Discord, stopping for camp actually sounds really good right now.”

Discord sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose and rubbing at his eyes. “You two...you do realize that robbers are no match for me, right?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “I can get us through this forest without any trouble—nothing is going to stop us!”

The princess’s gaze turned downwards, and her face became obscured by her mane. Discord’s eyebrow rose even more. Is she giving up? he thought. Then, her shoulders began to shake.

She started sniffling, and a tiny whimpering sound left her throat. Oh, no, Discord thought as his heart froze. I don’t care, I don’t care, I don’t care…

The princess lifted her head, revealing shimmering eyes with tears brimming on their lashes. Despite how much he absolutely did not care about how ponies felt, much less this one—his heart felt a cold twinge of guilt.

“Ugh, fine!” he said, throwing his hands into the air. “We’ll stop for the night! Would you stop making that face?”

“Yay, thank you!” she said, her face brightening. He snorted, crossing his arms and turning away.

“Guess we need to find a place to set up camp…” he muttered. “I’ll go and look.”

“Oh, I’ll help!” Pinkie said. Discord snorted again, storming off into the trees with Pinkie bouncing along beside him.

After a few minutes of searching, a fidgety princess fussing near him as the sun sank lower in the sky, the three of them stumbled on a small clearing in between the trees. There was a cliff nearby, though the drop didn’t seem that large.

The important thing, though, was the very large rocks scattered around the area. Drained as his magic was, he could still muster up the energy to levitate a few rocks!

With a flick of his claws, he moved the rocks into the shape of a makeshift, one-room abode. “There,” he said. A snap of his claws, and glue appeared in between the boulders to hold them together. “Does that satisfy thee, milady?”

The princess scowled, giving him an unimpressed look. “Discord...maybe we can do better than that,” Pinkie said. “It’s kind of small, and doesn’t look that comfortable…”

Princess Fluttershy glanced over at the setting sun, then turned back to the ramshackle stone house. “No, no, it’s perfect,” she said, stepping forward and towards it. “It just needs a few...homey touches.”

“Such as?” Discord said, raising an eyebrow. Hopefully she wouldn’t start begging him to make renovations with his magic…

She glanced around for a bit, then flew over to a nearby tree. She grabbed several thick vines that were hanging from its branches, then flew back to the stone house, quickly shoving them into one of the cracks so that they draped over and blocked the entrance. “A door,” she said, looking quite proud of her work.

He snapped his fingers, making sure the vines stayed in place, and making the green curtain a little thicker. “Anything else?” he said dryly.

“No, thank you. This is good,” she said. “And so...good night, you two.” She pulled back the vines and stepped inside.

“Oh!” Pinkie said, stepping forward. “Would you like any bedtime stories? My Granny Pie had lots of stories that put me right to sleep and gave me good dreams—”

“Nonono, thankyou, goodnight!" the princess said, her words as quick as her closing of the curtain. Both Discord and Pinkie blinked in surprise at her sudden end of the conversation.

Once Discord had recovered from his shock, he blinked and then snorted. With a flick of his claw, another large rock that he hadn’t used in the structure moved over and began to move in front of the princess’s vine curtain.

“Discord!” Pinkie said.

“What?” he said innocently. “She wanted a door, didn’t she?” Pinkie gave him an unimpressed look, and he dropped his claw with a huff, the boulder stopping to the right of the vine curtain.

“I was kidding,” he said with a huff. “I swear, you ponies...no sense of humor.” He headed off into the forest, searching for a berry bush he had seen a while back, while Pinkie rolled her eyes at him.

Hours after the sun had set, and Pinkie and Discord had eaten their fill of berries and cupcakes, the two of them were lying on their backs near the small cliff, looking up at the night sky.

“And...over there,” Discord said, pointing to another constellation. “That one that looks like the time I stole three wheat fields. It was fun, seeing the farmers’ confusion and watching them all accuse each other…” He drew an imaginary picture in the stars, one of him reaping wheat and shoving it into a burlap sack.

“Uh-huh…” Pinkie said. “You know...when I asked if you knew stories about the stars, I thought it’d be connected to the constellations that are really there. Or about what futures you can see in the stars!”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “There’s no real constellations—just ones that ponies made up and decided must be the true ones. And I don’t read the future from the stars—or palms or tea leaves!—unless I’m trying to con someone. And who needs money when there’s magic?”

Still, he found and traced out another constellation, this one of him running a fortune-teller’s stand and tricking a long line of ponies into believing their lives were terrible...while lightening their wallets and saddlebags. “I’ve had a little fun infiltrating fairs that way, but there have been better times,” he said aloud.

“Like going on the rides, and eating all of the sugary, greasy food?” she asked. “That’s my favorite part of going to fairs!”

“How surprising,” he said snarkily.

“Say, Discord,” she said. He turned his head to her, and she smiled. “What are we gonna do when we get our chaotic dimension back?”

“Excuse me, our dimension?” he said, his eyebrows raising.

“Yeah, you know!” she said. “When we’re through with saving the princess and Tirek gives us a reward that may or may not involve all the other creatures getting in trouble…”

“‘We’?” Discord said, eyebrows rising even more. He scoffed. “Pinkie, there is no ‘we’ in this. No ‘our’. This is about me, and my dimension!” He jabbed his thumb against his chest, narrowing his eyes at her.

“But to answer your question,” he said, glancing back up at the stars. “The first thing I’m going to do is to build a wall. Several walls, even.” He lifted his hand, tracing ideas between the stars. “Perhaps one around the door, and then one behind the door for good measure…”

He rolled on his side, turning away from her. Pinkie’s mane deflated slightly, her ears flattening. “That’s harsh,” she said. “Real harsh…”

A second later, she stood up and walked around, looking him in the eyes again. “You know what I think?” she said. “I bet that this wall idea is to keep somepony out.”

“What, did you think it was to play racquetball with?” Discord snarked, scowling and rolling onto his other side. Even before he finished moving, Pinkie had bounced over to make eye contact again.

“Are you hiding something?” she asked.

“Drop it, Pinkie,” he growled, rolling onto his back to look up at the stars instead. The twinkling stars, that didn’t try to question him or annoy him…

But a pink muzzle entered his vision. “Is this a straw-draconequus thing?” it asked.

“No, it’s a ‘drop it already, Pinkie’ thing!” he snapped, lips curling back to show his fang.

“Why don’t you want to talk about it?” she asked calmly. “Getting things off your chest would make you feel better…”

“Why do you want to talk about it so badly!?” he said.

“Why are you blocking?” she asked, still as calm as ever.

“Why can’t you just leave this alone!” he hissed. No matter which way he turned, Pinkie bounced or stepped around to meet his eyes.

“I just have one question!” she said. “Who exactly are you trying to keep out, Discord? Just answer me that?”

“Everyone, alright!” he yelled. “Now would you drop it?”

Pinkie’s ears flattened back, and she shrank back a few inches...until a smile spread on her muzzle. “Thank you,” she said, sounding smugly happy. “Now we’re starting to get somewhere…”

“Oh, for the love of chaos!” he said, standing up and throwing his hands into the air. Neither of them noticed the vine curtain of the princess’s temporary house being pulled back, or the teal eye watching the two of them carefully.

Discord turned and stormed away from Pinkie, towards the cliff’s edge. Pinkie followed after him as he sat down, feet dangling over it. “What’s wrong with the world, anyway?” she asked. “I mean, there are so many nice creatures, and good friends, but all you want to do is shut them all out. Why?”

He looked over his shoulder at her and scoffed. “Oh, sure. The world is full of nice creatures and good friends for ponies,” he said. “But when a draconequus approaches, even if it’s a young cub-foal-hatchling?”

His voice raised an octave in pitch, and he clenched his fists. “Ah, help! Run away! A scary, ugly, dangerous draconequus!”

He sighed heavily, his shoulders and ears drooping. “They judge me before they even know me,” he said, his voice back to normal. “That’s why it’s not worth trying to give the world a chance.”

Back inside the rock shelter, the teal eye widened...and then looked down, full of guilt. The vines swished closed as the princess retreated back into the darkness, still having gone unnoticed.

Pinkie also frowned, her ears flattening as she looked down guiltily. After a few moments, she looked back up and slowly approached him. “You know…” she said. “When I first met you, I didn’t think you were an ugly, dangerous draconequus.”

He glanced over at her. “...yeah, I know.” He turned his attention back to the night sky as she took a seat beside him, just a few inches away.

“...so,” she said. “Do you have any other stories about the stars? Maybe with earth ponies in them?”

“Eh…” he frowned and looked at the stars, then pointed to a few dim ones near the moon. “There’s, ah...Shrill Song. The loud and annoying.”

“I think I see it,” she said, narrowing her eyes. “The one that looks like she’s climbing up the side of the moon, right?”

He paused, then shrugged. “Yeah, sure. Why not.” He chuckled. “Let me guess, she used a rope to climb her way there from the earth?”

“Mhmm!” she said with a nod. “And she’s using it like a tightrope!” She drew her imaginary picture between the dim stars.

Discord chuckled, putting his hands under his head and leaning back against the ground. “Heh...I oughta try that sometime…” He yawned loudly, showing off his wide collection of fangs, and let his eyes drift closed.

He must have been more tired than he thought, especially thanks to all the magic he had been using...as soon as his eyes were closed, he already felt his body and mind going numb. He pushed away from the cliff edge, and heard Pinkie yawn and lay near him right as he drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

Duloc was completely silent as the moon shone overhead, the polished walls and streets glistening under its light. The night air was cold and still, aside from the shuffling of knights patrolling the streets in search of troublemakers, ruffians, and magic users.

Aside from them, most of the kingdom’s citizens were asleep, or at least lying quietly in their homes in hopes of drifting into slumber. But one creature was very much awake, the clopping of his hooves muffled on the rug of his bedchambers as he paced back and forth.

“So, we have a dress,” Tirek said to himself...almost. It wasn’t directed at the large mirror he had ordered to be brought into his room, but the alicorn inside still had to listen. “We’ve guessed at her size, but all ponies are basically the same, anyway.”

Twilight’s feathers ruffled, but she grit her teeth and bit back a comment. “We’ll start baking the cake once she’s here...cake will keep the crowd pleased, I believe,” Tirek continued, pacing from his bed to his balcony. He paused there, staring out at the starry night sky. “That...beast better not dally on this task.”

While his back was to her, Twilight sharply glowered at him from behind the glass pane, her horn flickering with rage-filled magic she knew she couldn’t release. She had been experimenting whenever no one was watching, and doing calculations in her head whenever she suspected someone was. But it all came out the same—she couldn’t just push her way through and into the outside world. Tirek needed to be defeated in order for her curse to break.

And as far as her scrying spells could reach in this form, she knew she couldn’t defeat Tirek alone with her current...predicament. And if she tried, well, she’d probably get a close view of how Grogar’s Crown worked. Her scowl deepened.

Tirek’s gaze flicked back to her, and she quickly shifted her expression into one slightly more neutral, with the light on her horn dying out, though she couldn’t completely hide her disdain. She’d just have to keep thinking and come up with a new plan, that was all. Hopefully whoever he sent to rescue Princess Fluttershy would fail, or at least take a long time...for both her sake, and the princess’s.

“Twilight,” he said, turning and trotting back towards her mirror. “How many creatures in the city can officiate the ceremony? To make the Crown work?”

She bit back a sigh. Of course she was here to answer his questions. She closed her eyes before she ended up rolling them at him, her horn glowing faintly as her scrying spells scanned over the kingdom.

For each spell she cast, she resisted the urge to see exactly where Princess Fluttershy was right now. Even after Tirek had finally chosen who should officiate the ceremony and gone to bed...she couldn’t risk her spell leaking onto the mirror itself. If Tirek saw her secret…

The thought made her shudder. She didn’t even want to think of what would happen to her, how Tirek would react. So she closed her eyes and allowed her image to fade from the mirror, falling into as deep of a sleep as she could.

The Connection

The sun slowly rose, making the whole forest glitter with dewdrops. A yellow hoof slowly drew back the vine curtain, and the pegasus princess slowly poked her muzzle out into the open. She glanced around the area.

Discord and Pinkie were lying on the ground a good distance away from her small shelter. They were both fast asleep, with Pinkie curled up on top of Discord’s chest as he snored loudly, his mouth hanging open. The sight made a small smile flicker across her muzzle.

Her stomach growled. Maybe breakfast would be a nice gesture, she thought. I’m sure there are some more berry bushes around here...maybe some roots, too. With that thought in mind, she fully left her shelter and headed into the forest.

As she searched the undergrowth for bushes, her ears flicked up. Birdsong was in the air...it had been so long, too long since she had met a bird! She smiled widely and headed in the direction of the song.

She soon found a small tree with white flowers, bluebirds flitting between the branches and trading bits of food and branches, which they used in their nests. “Um...hello,” she called softly, taking a step forward into the clearing.

The birds flinched at her presence, a few of them flying away. Some of them stayed behind, though, landing on the branches and watching her warily. She took a few cautious steps forward, doing her best to avoid making them uncomfortable.

She paused a few feet away from the tree. After a few moments of hesitation, one of the birds tweeted something at her—a question about who she was. “I’m...Fluttershy,” she said with a smile. “I’m just...exploring the area and looking for some food. I didn’t mean to scare all of your friends away…”

That’s okay, one of them tweeted. They’ll come back.

“That’s good,” she said with a smile. After another few moments where they all regarded each other with some curiosity, she took a breath and whistled a few high notes.

The birds seemed pleased, and a few of them whistled the same notes back to her. She smiled and kept whistling, and a few of the birds dropped from the branches to circle around her. Eventually, with the birds whistling and chirping along with her, her whistling began humming, and her humming became singing.

“There’s music in the treetops, and there’s music in the vale,” she sang, fluttering her wings to join her new bird friends. They began to slowly fly away, guiding her somewhere. “And all around the music fills the sky!”

As she continued her song, the birds showed her plenty of places—a bush full of juicy ripe blackberries, an old tree whose roots a wild raccoon was willing to help her dig up, as well as a few bulbs of garlic and a hoofful of nuts. By the time her song had reached simple vocalizations, she had an armful of food to prepare for breakfast.

Slowly, she finished her vocalizations, bringing the song to a close. The birds all chirped, complimenting her on her voice. “Oh...thank you, friends,” she said with a smile, brushing a bit of her mane in front of her face to hide her faint blush. “And thank you for helping me find all of this!”

It was no trouble! they assured her. Are you sure you have enough?

“I hope so,” she said. “Actually...I’d better get all of this ready before my friends wake up.”

We understand, they chirped, flying back into the tree branches. We hope they like it!

“Oh, I hope so, too,” she said. “Thank you again for all of your help!” She smiled and headed back to where they had made camp last night. Thankfully, Discord and Pinkie were still fast asleep.

It was easy enough to portion enough food for all of them on some flat rocks, but...she frowned in thought, biting her lip. Serving breakfast uncooked wouldn’t be much of a nice gesture, she thought. But…

She glanced over at her two rescuers. They were both fast asleep, and it didn’t seem like they would wake up anytime soon…

Still biting her lip, she glanced around the area. She headed over to the small, flat rock she saw about a foot away. Glancing once again at the sleeping duo, she placed one of her forehooves on the rock and closed her eyes.

After a few seconds of focusing, she felt the rock heat up, smoke pouring from its surface. She quickly pulled her hoof away and set her foraged foods on top, looking over at Discord and Pinkie. Still asleep...so they couldn’t have seen her.

Letting out a sigh of relief, she began to cook the roots, mixing in other things for flavor.

A wonderful smell reached Discord’s nostrils. It was...new, but had some elements that he recognized. There were some roasting nuts, definitely...not that many, though. And was that...a bit of garlic?

He smacked his lips, sniffing at the air and slowly blinking awake. Once he opened his eyes, he saw a bright blue sky above him, a few puffy white clouds overhead...and a faint wisp of smoke.

Blinking, he turned his head in the direction of the smoke’s source. Princess Fluttershy was sitting just a few feet away, behind a flat rock of some kind, tending to something on top of it with a soft, tired smile on her face.

As though she knew there were eyes on her, she lifted her head and locked eyes with him. To his surprise, an amused smile spread across her muzzle, and she giggled slightly. He frowned, furrowing his brow. “What’s so funny?” he asked. She just kept smiling, and lifted a hoof to point at his chest.

Discord blinked, and glanced down to where she was pointing...and his eyes widened as he realized there was a pink ball of fur curled up on his chest that should not have been there.

“Pinkie!” he yelled, trying to shove her off. “Get off of me!”

Pinkie snorted, lifting her head slightly, her eyes bleary and a bit of drool dribbling from her mouth. “Five more minutes?” she moaned, not even waiting for a response before snuggling back into his fur.

“No! I am not a bed!” he yelled, sitting up and shoving her off and onto the ground. He wrinkled his nose and summoned a towel to wipe a spot of drool off of his chest.

“Awww,” Pinkie moaned, slowly getting onto her hooves. “But you’re so warm and soft! I had to curl up by you!”

He froze, staring at her. “Never call me that ever again,” he said, frowning deeply. He opened his mouth, already preparing another lecture about draconequui to be quoted for centuries, but stopped when he heard melodic giggling.

He and Pinkie both glanced over to see Princess Fluttershy giggling. “I’m sorry,” she said with a smile. “It’s just...you two make quite a pair.” She giggled more, turning her attention slightly back to whatever she was doing.

Discord shoved Pinkie another few inches away with his paw, sitting up and leaning forward. His nostrils flared, again picking up the smell of…something cooking. “What are you doing?” he said, moving to get up.

Princess Fluttershy approached, holding two flat rocks. “I...I thought I’d make breakfast,” she said a little bashfully. “I know it’s not much, but…” She set the rocks in front of them both. Discord leaned forward, scrutinizing the contents.

Both his “plate” and Pinkie’s had an equal amount of food—a good-sized pile of blueberries and blackberries, a few large yellow flowers, and some slightly steaming...roots, maybe? They were whitish, and a little bit cooked.

Pinkie sniffed her food and began to nibble at one of the flowers as the princess brought a third plate over (with the same amount of food as theirs, Discord noted). “I know it’s not much,” she said. “But my friends told me it should all be very filling, and…” She blushed. “I wanted to make up for how I treated you yesterday…”

“Friends?” Pinkie said, her ears perking up. “Where?”

The princess smiled and pointed to one of the nearby trees. They both looked up and saw a small group of bluebirds flitting around some of their nests. Discord turned back to the princess, raising an eyebrow.

She blushed, avoiding his gaze. “I-I know it sounds crazy,” she said. “But...I’ve always had a connection with animals...enough that I can understand them.” She whistled a small tune, and one of the bluebirds flew over to land on her hoof. She smiled and lightly nuzzled them.

“Great,” Discord muttered. “Of all the princesses I have to rescue, I end up stuck with the wannabe Disneigh Princess.”

Pinkie nudged his side. “Be nice!” she hissed. “She made breakfast for us!” Discord rolled his eyes and picked up one of the roots to start nibbling on it.

To his surprise, it actually wasn’t that bland. “Is that...garlic?” he said, eating a bit more of the root.

“Yes!” she said happily. “I found a little bit of wild garlic...I thought it would be better to add it as a seasoning than to just cook bland roots…”

“Good idea,” he said, quickly eating another of the roots. “Mmm. I’ve never thought of eating roots before...it’s slightly chaotic, I suppose.”

“Always chaos with you!” Pinkie said with a chuckle, eating one of her roots. “By the way, Princess, how did you manage to cook these? I don’t see a fire anywhere…”

The princess’s face went blank, and she looked away. “Um, I...I found a rock...that the early morning sun warmed up! Enough to cook the roots. I-I wouldn’t know how to start a fire, or heat things up…”

Discord raised an eyebrow. He had met liars, and was often one himself, but he didn’t think he had seen a creature with a worse poker face before. The princess sat down and began daintily nibbling at her own food. He shrugged it off and continued eating. She’s a princess. Maybe she has some secrets, but they’re probably boring ones, he thought. Really, how interesting could they be?

After breakfast, the three of them set off into the forest. Discord decided that carrying the princess was too much strain on his back, anyway...and that he supposed he trusted her enough to not randomly run off into the forest.

He summoned a toothpick and began picking roots out of his teeth. “I must say,” he said. “That was a surprisingly good meal. I didn’t expect that you would know how to cook, being a prissy princess.”

“Discord!” Pinkie hissed. “That’s rude!”

But Fluttershy just smiled. “I didn’t really learn how to cook until...after I was locked in the tower, away from home.” She looked a little sad. “I had to take care of myself...especially since all Cheese knew how to make was nachos.”

“Nachos are delicious!” Pinkie said. She looked away guilty. “...I don’t know if I’ll be able to enjoy nacho cheese as much ever again, or if it’ll just taste vaguely of guilt.”

“I’m...sure they’re delicious,” Fluttershy said. “But I couldn’t really eat them. I’m lactose intolerant, so...there are actually a lot of things I can’t eat.”

“You must be good with making food from plants and vegetables, then,” Discord said. “Is there anything else you can even eat?”

“Oh, there are dairy-free substitutes for milk, like soy,” she said. “If those are used in a dish, I can eat it.” Her ears lowered. “Though...I couldn’t really get any of that in the tower,” she continued. “I had to keep my own small garden to grow food, if Cheese couldn’t scavenge something…”

Discord blinked, staring at her as she continued forward. “Cooking, gardening…” he said. “You...you’re not really what I expected a princess to be like.”

Her ears lifted a little, and she looked back at him with a smile. “Maybe you should be careful to not judge ponies before you know them,” she said.

He blinked, his brow furrowing. The words stuck into his mind, and he frowned a bit in thought. He opened his mouth to say...something in response as she kept walking ahead—but before he could, a net trap suddenly shot up from under the princess’s hoof, scooping her up and into the branches of the trees!

She yelped as her hooves left the ground, dangling limply from the holes of the net. “Um, help?” she squeaked, struggling in the trap.

He stepped forward, but before he could move very far, a voice called out, “Not one step further, beast!” He paused for a moment, looking around the clearing...and noticing the small herd of goats appearing from the bushes and stepping into the clearing. For some reason, these goats all had bows and quivers full of arrows slung over their backs.

A moment later, another creature stepped out of the brush, this one nearly as tall as him—a great and muscular blue minotaur. When it came down to height, including horns, though, Discord had him beat. He was aiming a crossbow at Discord. Discord growled, getting his tail feathers into a snapping position behind his back.

The minotaur turned his attention to the captured princess. “That necklace...that dress…” he said, his eyes gleaming. “You are some sort of noblemare, are you not?”

“U-um…” the princess said, shifting in her net. “Something like that…”

“Well then!” The minotaur gestured to one of the goats. They pulled out a small knife, and with one quick motion, they cut the supporting rope and let the princess fall to the ground.

“Oof!” she said, landing in a heap. Discord stepped forward, but that minotaur was still aiming that crossbow at him.

“Iron Will apologizes for catching you in our trap,” the minotaur said, helping her back onto her hooves. “Iron Will is glad to save you from the clutches of a beast, though. You can call Iron Will ‘Iron Will’.” He bowed low at the waist.

“Um…” Princess Fluttershy said, inching away. “That’s not...quite...why did you have a trap set up, anyway?”

“Oh!” Iron Will said. “Well, you see...Iron Will’s goats and Iron Will are quite skilled archers. But there’s no jobs or money to be had in towns for us. We are simply a humble group, living in the forest and trying to make ends meet—”

“They’re robbers,” Discord said bluntly. Iron Will and the goats all flinched, and Pinkie gasped in shock. “Oh, come on. The only thing a trap on a path like this would catch is passerby, passerby you try to rob.”

“W-well!” Iron Will said, his face red. “We may have to do...some unpleasant things to make our ends meet, but no more!” He held up the princess’s hoof. “By saving a noblemare from a beast and protecting her, we’ll be heroes! Rich heroes!” The goats gave bleating cheers.

“Hey!” Discord snapped. “That’s my princess! I found her first, so go get your own!”

“A princess?” Iron Will said. His eyes gleamed, practically shining the color of golden bits. Princess Fluttershy frowned and started to pull her hoof away, but the minotaur’s grip was tight. “We’re going to be incredibly rich!”

“I, well…” the princess said, still trying to tug her hoof away. “I’d be willing to help you, but I’m currently going somewhere with Discord right now…”

“I’m sure there’s a peaceful solution to this!” Pinkie said. “We can find a way to get you the bits you want without you having to hurt anyone, and we can leave and continue on our way—”

“Just hand her back over!” Discord snapped, interrupting her. He grimaced and stepped forward, putting his fingers into a snapping position.

“Stop right there!” Iron Will shouted. The goats all snapped to attention, grabbing their bows and arrows. They stood on their back hooves, arming their bows and pulling back the drawstrings to aim at him.

“Wow! How can you all do that?” Pinkie asked. “Don’t you ever lose your balance, or accidentally let go of the string, or—”

“They’ve all gone through rigorous training for weeks on end!” Iron Will shouted. “Iron Will made sure to teach them well. Now stop throwing off Iron Will’s bandi—professional archers!” A few of the goats seemed a bit unsure of themselves at Pinkie’s words, stumbling on their back hooves.

“Feh. Arrows don’t phase me,” Discord said, brushing invisible dust off of his shoulder. “You’re probably all terrible shots, and I have magic, so why don’t we just cut to the chase, with me leaving with the princess and leaving you stuck to a tree with strawberry jam?”

Iron Will’s eye twitched. “You dare insult us!?” he said. “My loyal guard goats—no mercy! Teach this beast a lesson on what happens to monsters that cross our path!”

Pinkie’s hooves started shaking, and she blinked rapidly. “Uh oh,” she said, freezing in place as the goats drew back their drawstrings. A second later, they all fired at Discord.

Discord ducked, barely dodging the arrows. He dropped to all fours and rushed to the cover of the surrounding undergrowth. “I’m starting to get very sick of having arrows pointed at me,” he grunted as he pulled Pinkie under the cover of the bushes with him.

“Find them!” Iron Will shouted. “Don’t hesitate to bring down that draconequus!” Princess Fluttershy was still standing by him, shaking, her face covered by shadow.

“Oh man...what are we going to do, Discord?” Pinkie whispered, shaking just as much.

“Use magic, obviously,” he said, holding his fingers into a snapping position. “I just hope I have enough to take out all of these goats before I run out.” I hate being away from home, he thought grumpily to himself.

With a snap of his fingers, he teleported behind one of the goats. “Guess who?” he said, right before whacking them with a rubber mallet. The goat stumbled away, dropping his bow and quiver as stars circled above his head.

“Get him!” Iron Will yelled. The rest of the goats aimed their bows, but Discord snapped his tail feathers again, teleporting behind the closest one of them.

“Too slow!” he said happily, swinging the mallet again. As soon as he made contact, he teleported away again, just barely avoiding a volley of arrows.

Another two strikes, and he teleported into the bushes again, watching as the goats either stumbled around dizzily, dropping their weapons, or firing arrows in random directions in hopes of hitting something. He allowed himself to smile slightly. Ahh...sweet chaos.

“Stop, you fools!” Iron Will said. “You’re just wasting your arrows!” The goats slowly stopped firing, and a few of them even stopped stumbling about, leaning against tree trunks to support themselves. Discord frowned, already missing his precious chaos.

“You can’t just fire randomly!” the minotaur continued. “Search the area and find him before you do anything else foolish!” The goats hung their heads and split up, heading towards the edges of the clearing and searching the bushes.

“Got any other plans?” Pinkie whispered, suddenly right next to him. All of his fur bristled up, and he just barely stopped himself from jolting into the air.

“Don’t startle me like that!” he hissed at her. He frowned, watching as the minotaur took even more control. Under his barked orders, the archers paired up, watching each other’s backs as they searched the bushes. And he was still tightly holding onto the princess’s hoof, meaning it was probably impossible for him to steal her out from under his nose.

Discord grit his teeth. “How’s this?” he hissed. “You go distract them, I’ll snatch the princess, and then we’ll run until we lose them.”

“What if they shoot at me?” Pinkie asked.

“Use your uncanny ability to dodge,” he said. “Or, alternatively—start running, and keep running.”

Pinkie glanced between him and the slowly approaching goats. “...alright!” she said. She took a deep breath, stretched all of her legs...and then jumped out of the bush.

The goats all jumped, turning their bows to her...but none of them fired. Pinkie took another deep breath, then ran across the clearing, dashing around and swerving past each archer. They each followed her with their eyes and aim, and one almost fired—

“Fools!” Iron Will shouted. “Keep looking for the beast—don’t shoot at innocent ponies!” The goat stumbled, quickly gripping onto the drawstring to keep from firing. Pinkie hesitated for a few more seconds, then dove back into the bushes on the other side of the clearing.

“Discoooord!” she yelled, heading further into the undergrowth (and away from him). “We need a new plaaaaan!” A few of the goats followed behind her, making Discord relax a little...but that leading minotaur was still standing in place, watching his followers and keeping his grip tight on the princess’s hoof. She was still standing quite still, shaking slightly and keeping her face downcast.

Well. Pinkie’s distraction had lured a few goats away, but it probably wouldn’t work long. And that minotaur seemed to only care about getting rid of him and using the princess to get bits...he sighed. He was the most distracting creature he could think of…

With another sigh, he stood up to his full height and stepped out from the bush. The few goats left in the clearing bleated and turned their bows to him. “Hold on just a minute!” he said, holding his hands up. “I’m sure your leader would like to take a shot at me himself, wouldn’t he?”

The goats paused, glancing back at their leader for confirmation. Discord took a few quick steps towards Iron Will while they weren’t looking. “He’s just trying to trick you!” he snapped. “It doesn’t matter who does shoot him, just that he stops being an obstacle!”

“Oh, I see,” Discord said. “You’re just trying to hide the fact you’re a terrible shot from your followers.”

The goats’ eyes all widened, even the few who had just returned after briefly following the pink terror. Iron Will’s face turned red, and he snorted, steam pouring from his nostrils. “You...you dare!?” he shouted. “Everyone, stand back! I’ll take care of this beast myself.”

Discord had to fight to keep from grinning. He would probably get a second between when the minotaur grabbed his weapon and when he fired...hopefully enough time for him to grab the princess and skedaddle.

Iron Will reached behind his back as the goats backed away. “Your pelt will look lovely on my wall,” he growled, pulling out a large crossbow...and a huge wooden bolt. Discord almost swallowed in nervousness.

“In the tacky hut you probably have?” he taunted. “I don’t think so. My pelt is far too rich for your blood.”

A vein bulged in the minotaur’s forehead, and with a growl, he armed his crossbow. Discord tensed up, getting ready to run and trying not to think about what a huge bolt like that could do to his body. Iron Will slowly raised the crossbow and pointed it at him—letting go of the princess’s hoof. Discord grinned, his fingers getting into a snapping position. He just had to wait for him to fire...

“No!” the princess shouted, head snapping up. Both Discord’s and Iron Will’s attention shifted to her as her wings flared out, her eyes blazing.

Discord was about to take the opportunity to teleport, grab her, and run while the bandits were distracted...but something unexpected happened. A beam of pink light shot from her chest, striking Iron Will...and causing him to disappear.

The goats bleated in horror. Discord wasn’t worried—he knew a teleportation when he saw one—but rather, he was amazed. His eyes widened as Princess Fluttershy flew into the air, shining with a halo of magic.

A few of the goats tried to aim their arrows at them both. But they were struck by the same pink light, and teleported away. Some tried to flee, but vines shot from the ground and tied them up, leaving them helpless.

In a matter of seconds, the remaining bandits were either gone or incapacitated. Princess Fluttershy wobbled in the air, slowly descending as the magic disappeared.

With wobbling legs, she stumbled further down the road. “Let’s, um...continue,” she said, trying to sound as casual as possible...as though Discord was going to forget that amazing spectacle!

He rushed up to her, which wasn’t difficult, as she was still regaining her footing. “You have magic!” he said, walking alongside her. “A pegasus with magic...how delightfully chaotic! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“I...I couldn’t,” she said, letting some of her mane fall in front of her face. “It’s...not normal...I shouldn’t have magic.”

“Pssh,” he said. “You think Pinkie and I would judge you for not being ‘normal’? Look at me. I’m about as far away from normal as you can get, and Pinkie barely bats an eye at me anymore, so…”

“But...don’t you care about why I have magic?” she asked, brushing a little bit of her mane away to peer up at him.

“Frankly, I should have seen it coming,” he said. “You princess and royalty types are just brimming with magic...even if it’s just the really corny, ‘power of love and-or friendship’ type of magic.” He stroked his beard. “I guess a few years in a tower gave you some time to practice and channel it, even though you’re a pegasus.”

“...you could say that,” she said quietly, her eyes darting back down to the ground. “Though that’s...not entirely why…”

“Hmm?” he tilted his head, staring at her with curiosity. She glanced back at him...and gasped, pointing at his lion arm.

“What?” he said, following where her hoof was pointing. There was an arrow sticking out of it, just below his shoulder. A bead of blood dripped from it. “Oh...I guess I didn’t feel that. Adrenaline is a powerful thing, I suppose.”

“D-don’t be so...are you in shock!?” she asked. “W-we need to treat that wound, quickly!”

“I’ve got this,” he said, waving off her concerns...even if it was a little touching to have someone be concerned for him. Huh.

“Princess, Discord!” Pinkie said, jumping up and out of the bushes. “I saw everything! The magic, and your magic, and they all disappeared! That was—” She froze and stared at the arrow in Discord’s arm, her mouth agape.

“Is...is that blood!?” she said, her hooves flying to her mouth as her face became pale.

“It’s just one arrow,” Discord said, grabbing the shaft and yanking it out. He hissed as a stab of pain shot through his arm. “One of them got a lucky shot…”

“Oh my stars, Discord’s bleeding out!” Pinkie yelped. “I don’t know what to do! Discord’s going to die! Um, maybe there’s some herbs, or a healer in the woods, or...” She whirled around in a frenzy. Discord just rolled his eyes.

“Pinkie, calm down,” Princess Fluttershy said. This did nothing to stop the pink pony’s panicking. “Pinkie...Pinkie!”

She grabbed onto Pinkie’s shoulders, stopping her in place and looking her in the eyes. “If you want to help Discord, I need you to get me some very specific flowers,” she said in a stern but even voice. “Blue flowers with red thorns. Do you think you can find those for me?”

“Blue flowers, red thorns,” Pinkie said with a nod, turning to head into the forest. She paused and looked back. “Remember, Discord, keep your wound elevated, and don’t go into the light!”

“Pinkie!” the princess reminded her. Pinkie quickly nodded and leapt into the underbrush, mumbling to herself about the flowers.

“What are the flowers for?” Discord asked.

“...to keep Pinkie distracted,” the princess admitted. “Your wound needs to be cleaned, and if she’s panicking...what are you doing!?”

“Cleaning the wound,” he said, his tongue sticking out of his mouth and almost touching the wound. “Don’t give me that look, I’m part cat! You know enough about critters to know this is how cats quite literally lick their wounds, right?”

“Well, yes,” she said. “But you’re not fully a cat, and I can tell that’s not a cat’s tongue.” She pulled a bottle of some clear liquid out of her dress and flew up to him.

“Where did you get that?” he said, backing away suspiciously. “And what is it?”

“It’s something to keep your wound from getting infected,” she said, flying ever closer. He took a few more steps back. “And...I’ve had to learn a lot about medicine, and growing plants on my own. I usually extract this from plants like those.” She pointed over his shoulder.

He instinctively turned to look, realizing a second later that there was nothing behind him but trees and random underbrush. Before he could turn back around, something wet was dabbed on his wound, causing a prickling pain. He hissed.

“Sorry!” she said. “I didn’t want to trick you, but it’s important to clean your wound.” He growled. “It’s okay, I’m almost done.”

She finished and pulled away after a few more seconds. He scowled and shook his arm, which was still tingling painfully. “I can’t believe you got me to fall for the ‘behind you’ trick,” he grumbled. “I thought princesses were supposed to be bad liars…”

“I usually am…” she said, landing and tucking away the little vial of pain. “I tried to hide it by rambling about the truth first...I guess it worked?”

“Well, consider it the first and the last time,” he said. “I won’t fall for a trick like that again.”

She nodded. "I know...I figured it would only work once. You’re...pretty clever.” He blinked and stared at her. Was that...flattery? He didn’t want to get his hopes up that it was, but he did enjoy a little flattery and praise now and then...

“We need to bandage the wound now," she said, snapping him out of his thoughts. She searched her dress, pulled out a white handkerchief, and moved forward, but paused. "Don't eat this one, okay?"

"Why do I even need it bandaged?" he said. "It can heal on its own!"

"It could get infected!" she said. "Now, just let me wrap this around, it won't hurt—"

"That's what you said about cleaning it!" he said, taking a few steps back. "You're just lying so that I accept it and you can put me through more of that torture!"

“It won’t hurt this time, I promise!” she said. She darted forward, but he dodged. “Hey! Let me—” She moved forward a little faster, but he darted to the side, covering his wound with his hand.

She huffed and pouted, then closed her eyes, frowning and squeezing her wings closed. He could feel the soft thrum of magic in the air, but before he could react with his own, she shot towards him, a yellow-and-pink blur.

Unfortunately, she apparently didn’t know how to stop, and ended up ramming into his side. He yelped in shock, pinwheeling his arms and trying to regain his balance, while she squeaked, wobbling on her hooves.

Gravity took hold of them both, though, and they fell to the ground, the princess landing on top of his chest. She groaned, trying to shift off of him, but was moving sluggishly, her eyelids drooping. “I am not a pillow, so don’t you dare fall asleep on me,” he said. He tried to grab her shoulders, but moving his arms caused his wound to twinge in pain again. “Gah!”

“Discord?” he heard Pinkie say off in the distance. “Hold on, Cordy, I’m coming!” He heard hoofsteps coming back, and quickly turned his attention back to the princess on top of him.

She seemed much more alert, now...and even more focused on his wound, if that was possible. “No!” he said, trying to shield it as she reached for it.

But it was a futile effort. She maneuvered past him and wrapped her handkerchief around his wound, to which he greatly protested. His protest died down into grumbles as she tied the final knots, as he realized that though it wasn’t exactly pleasant to have something pressed against his wound, it wasn’t nearly as painful as he was expecting it to be.

The princess finished tying the makeshift bandage into a bow (rather quickly and skillfully for a creature without fingers, he had to admit), a small, pleased smile on her face. And then, to his surprise, she leaned forward slightly and kissed his wound.

It was a very small gesture, her lips barely brushing against him, and not even touching any skin. But the action still made him gasp, his ears shooting up as tingles ran up and down his arm, centered around where she had touched him.

She backed away, blushing a little. “S-sorry,” she said. “It’s just...whenever I treat my animal friends, I give them a kiss to make them feel better...I guess I forgot that you’re not an animal…”

He blushed, rubbing his arm, still being careful around his wound. “I...think it might be working,” he admitted. He saw that the blush on her face only grew at his words...and that a sunbeam on both of them made her eyes glitter like gemstones, her pink mane perfectly framing her face…

“Princess,” he said, before his tongue suddenly tied itself into knots. What is wrong with me!? he thought. Ponies aren’t pretty! Nothing should be this pretty! The knots in his tongue multiplied as she glanced back at him, and he swallowed thickly, trying to recall what he had been trying to say…

“Ahem.” The clearing of a throat shook them both out of the moment, and both of their heads whipped in the direction of the sound. Pinkie stood there, watching them with a smug grin on her face, and began shaking a bouquet of blue flowers at them.

“You know,” she said. “If you two wanted some alone time, you could have just said something…”

Princess Fluttershy squeaked, a bright red blush covering her face. She quickly started to scramble off of him, as he tried to stand up. “It’s not like that!” he said. “I just...she wanted to bandage it, and she knocked me over…”

He was about to spring up to his feet, but paused to give her a second to crawl off of him. As soon as she was off, he was on his feet, dusting himself off and looking away. “And I think we’ve wasted enough time! We should get moving if we want to make it back to Tired-Wreck soon.”

“If you say so,” Pinkie said, bouncing forward on the path, still with a grin on her face. “Are you two sure you don’t want me to ‘search for flowers’ for a few more minutes?”

“Pinkie!” both he and the princess snapped at the same time. They blinked and stared at each other for a second, then glanced away quickly.

“It really wasn’t like that,” Princess Fluttershy said as she walked beside Pinkie. “I just wanted to make sure that his wound was taken care of properly, and…”

Discord tuned them out, walking a few feet behind them. He reflected back on the moment when he had been so tongue-tied...and now, he couldn’t even remember what he had been trying to say in the first place! He scowled a bit, twisting a nearby branch with his magic to cheer himself up a bit.

But as soon as he tried to push that moment out of his mind, a new one popped up—the one where she had kissed his wound. For a second, he smiled, and carefully touched his wound, remembering what the gesture of affection had felt like…

He glanced up and noticed that the princess was looking back at him, an almost-worried expression on her face. He quickly snapped himself out of his thoughts and grinned at her, taking several quick steps forward and catching up with the pony duo.

“Now, those bandits were interesting,” he said. “But did I ever tell you two about the time someone tried to mug me...in my own dimension?”

“Really?” Princess Fluttershy said with a gasp, her eyes widening. “How did that happen?” Discord grinned and straightened up, preparing his magic to launch into an enrapturing tale.

“...and then I lifted the disguise and revealed who I was,” Discord said with a chuckle. “The look on his face was priceless!”

Princess Fluttershy bit her lips, but a few giggles still managed to escape her. Discord grinned. Pinkie laughed at his story, though not as much as he had been expecting—she seemed too busy giving him and the princess that Look, the same one she had been giving when she found the two of them while Fluttershy was cleaning his wound.

“What happened after that?” the princess asked, bringing his attention back to her.

“Well, he was frozen for a few seconds,” Discord said. “Then he bolted. I haven’t seen him since—the whole thing probably scared him out of my dimension for good!”

The princess giggled a little more. “I bet that made him think twice before trying to mug someone again,” she said with a small smile. For a brief moment, he was once again struck by how pretty she was…

The thought made him freeze in place as the others kept walking forward. He shook his head, trying to get rid of the sudden thoughts. Ponies were not cute, they were not pretty...except for this one, apparently.

Darn it, he thought, huffing to himself. Whenever he thought he was rid of the thoughts, another one popped right back up. “Discord?” the princess said, a couple feet ahead of him. “Are you alright?”

“Never better,” he quickly said, jogging to catch up. “Just...checking to see if any bad weather is going to come our way. That’s all.” He sent out a quick tendril of magic to find out, so it technically wasn’t a lie.

She paused, then lifted a wing into the air, letting a slight breeze ruffle her feathers. “It doesn’t feel like a storm is coming,” she said after closing her eyes for a few seconds.

He blinked, looking at her in shock. His magic confirmed that she was absolutely correct. “How did you do that?” He hadn’t sensed any sort of magic from her!

She blushed, scuffing a hoof against the ground. Pinkie grinned at the two of them, bouncing ahead to leave them alone. “I...picked up a few things in that tower,” she said. “Like figuring out the weather, gardening, sewing…” She glanced away nervously. “And other...things.”

Ah. She was still evasive about her magic, though he couldn’t fully understand why. To him, it was chaotic and wonderful, even if she was a pony monarch! Maybe if he played his cards right...

“So,” he said conversationally, polishing his claws. “...how strong is that magic of yours, princess?”

Princess Fluttershy froze up. “Um,” she said, biting her lips and glancing away. “Does it...matter?”

“I suppose not,” he said. “But I am very curious. And...wouldn’t it be nice to use your magic, try a few things?” He gestured to the quiet, thinning forests around them. “No one’s here to spot us.”

“But…” She frowned, looking down at her hooves. “M-my magic is...dangerous. What if...I did something that hurt you, or Pinkie?”

He chuckled, making her flinch. “I have my own magic to protect me,” he boasted. “And besides...I’m half-convinced that Pinkie’s partially made of silly putty.” He pointed to the pink earth pony, who was hanging upside-down from a tree branch up ahead on the path, trying to grab a piece of fruit.

“Besides,” he said. “Magic might be dangerous, but it can also be useful.” Pinkie began to slip from the branch. With a snap of his fingers, a small trampoline appeared under her, sending her back into the tree. Her limbs tangled in the branches again, and she snatched the fruit. “See?”

“I...suppose so…” she said slowly. “And...my magic has been useful for things before...but, I...I shouldn’t…”

He placed his paw on her back. “Just a few spells?” he said. “You don’t have to worry about what you should or shouldn’t do as a princess. I promise I won’t gossip about it. And...Pinkie probably won’t, either.”

He made a zipping motion over his lips. Princess Fluttershy lifted her head enough to look up at him, and gave a small, grateful smile. He couldn’t help but smile back…

“What are you two doing?” Pinkie said, suddenly appearing behind them. They both flinched, and Discord quickly pulled his paw away, as though he had been burnt.

“N-nothing!” Princess Fluttershy said, taking a few quick steps forward. “Just...talking, that’s all!”

“About what?” Pinkie asked, taking a bite out of the apple she had managed to find. Her face scrunched up. “Pleh! Sour.”

“About...me using...a little bit of magic,” Princess Fluttershy said slowly. “Pinkie...if I used magic here, would you...promise not to tell anyone else that I did? Or...that I have magic at all?”

“Of course!” Pinkie said. “I think it’s a really cool thing, and you should totally brag about it, but I’ll let you take the honors of telling anyone!”

“That’s not quite…” Princess Fluttershy started to say, before pausing and shaking her head. “Nevermind. Thank you.”

Pinkie beamed, setting her sour apple aside. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!” Discord and Princess Fluttershy blinked, watching in confusion as she went through the motions of her...chant. “My patented Pinkie Promise!” Pinkie explained with a smile. “It’s unbreakable! I won’t breathe a word to anyone.”

“Thank you,” Princess Fluttershy said. “Um...what sort of magic were you thinking, Discord?”

He froze. “I, um...whatever you’re comfortable with,” he said awkwardly. He hadn’t really thought past convincing her to cast a spell.

She paused, and started to look around. Her eyes briefly settled on Pinkie’s apple, and she tapped a hoof against it. Its skin became a bright, deeper red at her touch, though she wobbled slightly on her hooves as she stepped back.

Pinkie picked the apple up again, peering at it curiously. She took another bite...and closed her eyes, smiling widely. “Mmm! Tasty!”

Princess Fluttershy beamed. “I’m usually pretty good at using magic on food,” she said. “Mostly seasoning it...it’s been a while since I’ve tried to ripen a fruit or vegetable, though. I usually stick to small things.”

“Well, I’d say you did an excellent job,” Discord said, gesturing towards the apple...or what was left of it. Apparently, it had been so tasty that Pinkie devoured it in a few seconds flat, leaving just the core behind.

“Mhmm!” Pinkie said with a rapid nod. “That magic must be so useful! You could use it to keep pastries fresh longer, or make frosting a little sweeter, or make a cake a little fluffier…” She babbled about magic’s possible uses as she continued bouncing down the road.

Discord sighed, shaking his head. “I swear that pony’s brain is either made up of fluff or sweets,” he said. “There are plenty of other uses for magic besides doing things to food.” Although most of the fun things he could think of doing with his magic probably weren’t to the princess’s tastes.

“Oh, I’m sure magic can do a lot of good things,” she said with a smile. Her face slowly fell, and she looked away. “I’m just...not the pony who should be doing those things with magic.”

Drat, her concern was back again. Before he could think of something to say that would jolt her out of it and see how being a little odd was a good thing in his books, Pinkie called from over the hill. “Fluttershy, Discord, there’s a river in the path!”

“A what?” Discord said, furrowing his brow and jogging ahead, the princess trotting alongside him. They made it over—and indeed, there was a river flowing across the path they were heading on.

“Huh, would you look at that,” Discord said, stopping a foot away from the bank. He had decided to go on a slightly different path on the way back, for a little more variety and a possible shortcut, so he wasn’t completely surprised that they were running into new obstacles. The river was wide and clear, probably waist-deep in the middle. He looked left, then right. The river stretched in both directions, and there was no bridge, natural or ponymade, in sight.

“Hmm. Well, just standing here isn’t going to get us across,” he said. He started walking towards the river, fully prepared to wade right through.

“Wait!” Princess Fluttershy said suddenly, reaching out and grabbing his wrist. He froze in place, shocked, and turned his head to look at her. After a few moments, it finally seemed to sink in what she had done.

“I-I don’t know if wading right through it is safe,” she said, quickly letting go of his paw and looking down at the ground. “I mean...it’s wide enough that there could be a sudden deep spot, or a sudden rapid current, or…!”

She paused, taking a deep breath. “I just...don’t want to see you get hurt,” she said, almost in a whisper.

Discord’s heart skipped a beat. A pony caring for his well-being, not wanting him to rush into danger? ...maybe it was a holiday. Or a once-in-a-century celestial convergence. Either way… “If you insist,” he said with a shrug. “Would milady like to search for a shallower crossing spot, or want a bridge built?”

He paused, glancing between her and the river. “Or...would you like to try your hoof at making a bridge yourself?” he said.

“W-what?” she said, her head whipping up to look at him. “I-I don’t...I haven’t made anything that big before…”

“...Princess Fluttershy,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. Saying something nice and complimentary wasn’t his forte, but...she deserved it. “I think that you have some great magic potential. Something like this will be a snap for you.” As emphasis, he snapped his fingers, causing a small white flower to bloom between her hooves.

Fluttershy stared at him for a few moments as he grinned, still looking somewhat nervous. Despite his comments about magic potential, he hadn’t seemed to figure out the source just yet...and she had already performed a few feats of magic in front of him. So…

She swallowed and stepped a little closer to the riverbank. “I’ll try,” she said, her voice not exactly filled with confidence.

“That’s the spirit! ...sort of,” Discord said. “But I think you’ll do well, your highness.” He took a step back, pulling Pinkie with him to give her some space to work. She smiled gratefully...who knew if her magic would go haywire around her?

She took a deep breath, planting her hooves into the ground and closing her eyes. She focused deep inside of herself, feeling the magic well up inside of her.

The thought of using magic out in the open made her shiver, almost losing focus...but then she remembered Discord and Pinkie were with her. They wouldn’t judge her for this, especially since neither of them were questioning why she could do this yet...and this would help them.

After a few more seconds of focus, her eyes snapped open, and she let the magic flow through her hooves and into the ground. Almost immediately, thick, green vines sprouted from the ground, twisting around themselves and stretching, growing towards the other side of the stream.

In just a minute, they burrowed themselves into the ground on the other side. She shivered, and another burst of magic escaped her, causing small flowers of all colors to bloom along the vines. With a deep breath, she stepped away, withdrawing her magic. The vines and flowers all stayed stable.

Nervously, she glanced back at her watching audience. Pinkie seemed stunned, while Discord’s expression was, for a moment...unreadable. For a second, she worried...and then he smiled, clapping enthusiastically.

“Very nice!” he said, taking the first step onto the bridge. It held steady under his weight. “I kind of like the nature theme you have going with your magic...though the flowers are a bit...not to my taste.”

“Those...were kind of an accident,” she admitted, following along beside him. “Those happen sometimes when I use magic…”

He looked down at her, eyes wide. “You must have quite a bit of magic,” he said. “I mean...to create so many of these small things by accident. It’s…” He looked away. “...kind of impressive, actually.”

“You...think so?” she asked, feeling a bit stunned.

He nodded. “It looks like you’re a natural with nature magic,” he said.

She blushed and looked away, feeling a bit of pride filling her chest. “I...thank you,” she said shyly. “I...maybe it has to do with me liking plants and animals…?”

“Oh, probably,” he said, stepping off of the bridge. He offered her a paw, and she smiled and accepted his help stepping onto the shore. “Magic tends to be connected to your emotions, your passions, your desires…”

“I see…” she said. “So...does that mean you’re passionate about...chaos, then? Is that why you’re so good?”

Discord had to blink for a second. He hadn’t been expecting that question, much less the compliment. Ponies usually considered his magic bad, awful, terrifying...even Pinkie hadn’t specifically called it ‘good’.

“That...is a part of it,” he said with a nod. “But I’ve also put a lot of time and practice into it.” He snapped his fingers, creating a glowing emerald and cyan dragonfly, whose buzzing wings made a kazoo sound.

The princess gasped, surprised. The dragonfly flew around her head, and she turned around and around to follow it with her eyes. It finally flew off into the distance, disappearing into the woods and only leaving streaks of fading neon light behind.

She kept her eyes on the place it had disappeared, a wide grin on her face. “That was amazing!” she said, her eyes sparkling. “Can you create anything? Just...make life anywhere?”

He couldn’t help but puff out his chest a bit. “Well...there are a few small limitations outside my dimension,” he admitted. “Even so, I am still powerful enough to create simple forms of life and perform a few small tricks.”

Even after admitting he wasn’t at full power, the princess still looked at him with awe. It made his insides feel all warm, gooey, and tingly. He shivered a bit, rubbing his finger and thumb together, his magic swirling as he tried to think of something that would keep her attention (and that amazing, intoxicating look she had) on him.

“So can you make things like...plants? Outside your...dimension, I mean?” she asked, briefly glancing back at the vine bridge that was now a good distance behind them. Before, he would have kept hurrying them onwards until it was out of sight and they were closer to his goal, but now…

“With ease!” he boasted, standing a little taller. With a snap of his fingers, a group of flowers bloomed right in front of her. They were irises, each of them a different color of the rainbow. She gasped in delight.

“They’re beautiful,” she said. She carefully bent down to sniff them, and she raised an eyebrow in surprise. “Is that…?”

“Candy,” he said with a nod. He bent down next to her, loudly sniffing at the blooms. “Gummy candy, if my magic has worked right...which it has!”

“Ah,” she said. “It’s nice, but...I think I really like the usual smell of flowers. Like…” She frowned in thought and tapped a hoof against the ground.

A neon-pink iris sprang up at her touch. Even from a good foot away, Discord could smell it. She giggled nervously, her ears lowering. “That...wasn’t supposed to be that bright a color,” she said.

“I think that it’s...good,” he said with a nod. “I mean, it’s certainly more interesting than a ‘normal’ flower, isn’t it?”

“...I guess it is,” she said. A butterfly flew gracefully past her, landing on her brightly-colored flower. A smile flickered onto her muzzle. “And the butterflies seem to like it.” A few more of the insects were already flitting around the two of them, a few of them landing on Discord’s set, while others landed on the stem of Fluttershy’s flower and waited their turn.

“Hello, little friends,” she said, humming a little. A few of the butterflies flew circles around her, some of them even landing on her ears and back. She giggled, her eyes sparkling. “Oh, dear, that tickles…”

Discord couldn’t help but smile a little watching her. One of the smaller butterflies flew up and landed on the tip of his nose, and he went cross-eyed trying to stare at it.

Princess Fluttershy giggled. “It looks like you’ve made a new friend, Discord.”

He grinned. “Not as many as you.” At least five or six butterflies had landed on her by now, and even the butterfly on him left to land on her mane...though it was soon replaced by another one on his ear.

She giggled again. “They always seem to like me.” That was as plain as day. But what surprised him was that she raised a hoof, allowed a few of her insect buddies to gather on it...and then held it out towards him.

“Why don’t you say hello to Discord, little friends?” she said quietly to the colorful bugs. “I’m sure he wouldn’t mind.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “You’re the princess here, not me,” he said. “I think they’d prefer…” But before he could finish speaking, a couple of the butterflies she had spoken to took off, landing on and exploring his horns. He blinked and tried to turn his eyes upward enough to see them.

Princess Fluttershy laughed. Not the smug laughter of nobles thinking they were better than anyone else. Not the forced laughter of someone trying to schmooze up to him. No, this laughter was genuine, light...and made a smile spread across his face. “See?” she said as his eyes lowered to look back at her. “They do like you. They just needed to get to know you a little better.”

His smile widened. “Alright, alright, you may have a point there,” he said. “Still, I think you’re their favorite.” Any butterfly that wasn’t feeding off the flowers or had been introduced to him was perched on her mane, wings, and shoulders.

She giggled. “Butterflies always seem to like me,” she admitted. “Other creatures, too.”

A bird chirped and flew over, landing on her shoulder. A snake slithered up to her and rubbed against her hooves. She smiled down at gently stroked its head. He grinned. “...for a wannabe Disneigh princess, you’re not that bad to hang around with,” he said. “You’re actually...kind of fun to be around.”

He rubbed the back of his neck as she looked up at him. Compliments like that felt...weird to him. “...I think you’re fun, too,” she said, giving him a warm smile.

His heart started racing, and Pinkie gave the two of them a knowing grin. It’s not like that! he thought, wishing telepathy was one of his powers. But she just kept grinning, and the princess looked so beautiful…

“So!” he said quickly, stepping forward and trying to shoo away his thoughts. “What’s your favorite animal, then? You seem to like feathers and scales, and I’d imagine fur…” As he spoke, he snapped his fingers and summoned a colorful bird of paradise, a chameleon, and a small white cat, all of which cuddled up to the princess.

“Oh, hello, all of you!” she said happily, beaming. “And I don’t know if I could ever have a favorite animal. There are so many wonderful creatures…”

He smiled and listened to her chatter about all the animals she knew. Her voice was so lovely, and she was so interesting...for a while, he just let himself listen and occasionally chip in with a fact or two. He could ignore Pinkie’s knowing looks and just revel in this warm, fuzzy feeling for a while.

The Break

The day just seemed to fly by, even with their long break for a picnic lunch, and the frequent stops they made to watch some interesting animal on their path. Fluttershy and Discord were deep in conversation for most of the way, one or the other occasionally using their magic in some small way to help or show off to the other. Pinkie was always nearby, grinning widely as she watched them and giving them a little space whenever they were particularly occupied with observing or even helping an animal together.

But now, evening was approaching. The trio emerged from the forest and climbed up a short hill, where the sun’s dying rays brushed over a field of flowers, the gleaming white city of Duloc not terribly far away.

“Well, Princess, there it is,” Discord said, pausing at the top of the hill and gesturing out towards the horizon, where the city of Duloc lay before him. “Your future awaits you.”

“Yeah!” Pinkie said, nodding rapidly. “A future in a stifling castle with a guy you don’t know anything about! It’ll be like a surprise!”

Fluttershy bit her bottom lip while Discord sighed. “Yeeeeeah,” he said, glancing once more back at the kingdom that had brought him all this trouble. “Either way, I… suppose we should get a move on.”

He didn’t see Fluttershy bite down her lip even harder. “P-Pinkie!” she blurted.

“Huh?!?” Pinkie said, looking towards her. “What’s up, buttercup?”

“W-Well, it’s just…”

I don’t want to go.

“Um…”

I don’t want to say goodbye to either of you! I don’t want Discord to go back! I need more time with him!

But Fluttershy found her lips blocked by a bubblegum pink hoof.

“Say no more! I know EXACTLY what you’re gonna say!”

“You… You do?”

“Yeparoo! You wanna celebrate, don’t ya?!? And you’ve never even TRIED my famous cupcakes! But don’t worry, Fluttershy!”

She began to hop off.

“Leave it to me! I’ll go make some! Just stay right here, don’t move, and I’ll be back in a jiff!”

Fluttershy’s eyebrows creased in confusion. “But we’re in a forest, and Duloc is the other way… How are you going to…?”

She startled as she felt a finger on her lips.

“Don’t question it,” Discord said, quickly removing his finger and missing her blushing face as he sat down on a rock. “I’ve known that loony tune for only a few days, but she will be back with cupcakes. I guarantee it.”

“O-Oh,” Fluttershy said, before sitting down. “...Okay.”

An awkward moment of silence passed, before Discord started tapping the rock he sat on. “...You thirsty?”

“Hmmm?”

“Thirsty. Because you know, as limited as my magic is, there are still plenty of tricks up my sleeve that you have yet to see. For example…” He held up a solitary pointer finger, and looked up at the sky. Eying a cloud, he levitated it over, and the cloud began to change.

It curled within itself and expanded, its fluffy white exterior slowly changing hue to become a shade of cotton candy pink.

Fluttershy’s eyes widened as it sank down to them, and Discord took two mugs out of thin air. With the snap of his fingers, the cloud shrank and became just big enough for the cups, and began to rain!

“Um, Discord, that water is…”

“Aha! But that’s where you’re wrong, little bird horse! You think I want water? Pffft, no! And brown water is gross. No, that’s not what I’m giving you.”

He grabbed the second mug and handed it to her. “Go on. Have some.” He bent his head back and took a swig, followed by a long sigh. “Ahhhhh~.”

Fluttershy took a sniff and gasped. “Is this…?” She took a sip to confirm, and a wide smile bloomed on her face. “Oh, Discord, that’s wonderful! It’s chocolate almond milk!”

“Bingo, give the mare a prize!” he said, snapping his fingers again, causing a flower crown of marigolds to drop onto her head.

She giggled. “Thank you,” she said before taking another drink. It had been so long since she’d had such a treat!

It had been too long since she had had a lot of things that Discord and Pinkie had given her in the past few days.

“...You’re welcome.”

The sincerity in his voice made Fluttershy feel butterflies in the pit of her stomach. Who knew that Discord was even capable of speaking to her in such a way…?

She stole a glance at him, and he smiled at her. He picked up his mug.

“Cheers?”

She smiled and brought her mug to tap against his. “Cheers.”

Discord took another drink. “You know, back in my dimension, there are plenty of things I could show you… Things that make this cotton candy cloud and chocolate milk rain look like mere child’s play!” he said. “Maybe… sometime you could come down, and I could show you. I do love to show off, after all. It’s good for my ego.”

Fluttershy gasped and put her hooves together. “R-Really? You’d… You’d let me come and visit? But… I thought you didn’t like visitors! Especially not ponies!”

Discord blushed, bringing his hand to the back of his neck. “Well, that’s because they usually come without my permission! And I’m giving you permission, aren’t I? So it’s different!”

His ears twitched at the sound of another giggle.

But her smile was genuine when he dared to glance at her.

“I’d like that,” she said.

The setting sun was behind her, giving her a glow that almost looked as if it was a halo encompassing her entire body. It made Discord’s throat tight in a way that wasn’t totally terrible.

“Um… Princess Fluttershy…?”

“Yes, Discord?”

“Ah…I…”

“Aaaaaand here you go!” Pinkie shouted, suddenly appearing and setting down a plate of three perfectly delicious cupcakes, complete with paper liners. “My famous cupcakes, as promised!

She inserted herself between Fluttershy and Discord, forcing them farther apart as she picked up the plate, pointing to each one.

“This one is lemon-raspberry, which I thought you’d like, Discord, for the tang! And Fluttershy, I made you a niiiiiiice carrot cake cupcake, ‘cause that’s a national favorite, and you haven’t had one in so long! As for me, I made myself a cookies and cream cupcake! And not a peanut butter and chocolate one, because it wracks me with guilt!”’

Discord and Fluttershy exchanged a look.

But Pinkie continued, taking a bite of her cupcake. “Mmm-mmm! Delicious! ‘Course, we could also just share all three of them! It’s up to you guys! And boy, look at that!”

She pointed up at the sky.

“Looks like I made them in just enough time for us to watch the sunset! Ooh, it’s gonna be so pretty and romantic!”

Fluttershy gasped. “S-Sunset?!? Already? Oh, dear, it’s late, it’s so late…”

Pinkie quirked her head. “Yeah, but--” Then it dawned on her. “Ohhhhh! I get it! You’re afraid of the dark, aren’t you?!?”

Fluttershy blinked. Pinkie’s assumptions were being very helpful for her today.

“Um, yes! Yes, I’m terrified! I… I’d better go inside the tower now. I’ll… I’ll see you in the morning! Goodnight!”

She flew off as fast as she could.

“NIghty night!” Pinkie said, waving at her.

Discord sighed. “Goodnight, Flutters,” he murmured.

But he wasn’t the only one with good hearing. A smirk grew on PInkie’s face.

“‘Flutters’, huh?”

Discord used one eye to look over to her. “Hmmm?”

“Don’t play coy with me, mister,” she said, lightly punching him on the upper arm. “You loooooooove her! And ya know what, I think she likes you too!”

Discord blinked, shocked at her words, before shaking his head and growling. “What? What are you talking about? Because I don’t think you even know what you’re saying. And trust me, I’ve said a good deal of nonsense in my time!”

“Awww, c’mon, Cordy!” PInkie said, rolling her eyes. “Even I can see that you two can’t stop thinking about each other. I don’t need my Pinkie Sense to tell me that. Wake up and smell the cupcakes! You can’t take her to Lord Tirek. You should tell her how you feel instead. And then I can bake your wedding cake!”

Discord couldn’t stop himself from blushing, and curled his paw into a fist. “Pinkie, the very idea of me being in… in… that particular emotion, with any other creature other than myself, is utterly insane! You should know by now that chaos is my lady, and no other.”

“Chaos isn’t a lady, and Fluttershy is, and you love her and you need to marry her!” Pinkie insisted.

“No! That’s--There’s nothing to tell, all right? And even if I did feel that way about the yellow birdhorse--which I don’t--it would never work out! She’s a princess, and I’m a tyrant of chaos. I start mobs while she kisses baby animals who follow her around wherever she goes. That’s how it is. And ponies would never let that change. Even if I wanted it to.”

Pinkie’s ears fell back as she frowned. She put a hoof on his arm.

“I would let that change.”

Discord’s barely-existent shoulders sagged. He let Pinkie’s hoof lay there for a second before he stood up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to get some firewood. I need something to munch on.”

Pinkie’s frown continued to grow as he walked away.

Discord walked a good distance away, stopping on a hillside that overlooked a field of rose bushes...and off in the not-so-great distance, Duloc.

With a sigh, he sat down, staring at the sunset over Duloc as he propped his head up with his hands.

What should I do?

The sun sank below the horizon, and he still didn’t have a completely satisfactory answer.

Pinkie waited for Discord to come back. But as the sun set and the stars came out, she felt a chill. Being alone in the dark was never fun—it was lonely, and cold, and she was well-aware that her pink fur made her stick out like a sore thumb (part of the reason those lizards had caught her in the first place).

She glanced between the direction Discord had left in, and the building that Fluttershy had gone into. After a few moments of thought, she went to the building.

The door opened with a loud creak, and Pinkie flinched, expecting the sound to have woken Fluttershy. But there was no response, except for a few birds preening their feathers, and the wind whistling through a few cracks in the walls.

“Fluttershy?” Pinkie asked, creeping further into the building. She flinched as a flock of birds flew away, startled by her presence. “This is spooky...I just wanted to talk, and maybe have a night buddy who’s also scared of the dark…?”

A strange figure watched from the shadows, quickly darting away as Pinkie came closer. The floorboards creaked up their feet, and they panicked as Pinkie’s ears twitched up. “Fluttershy?” she asked.

The figure gulped and scampered towards the nearest ladder, quickly pulling themselves up the rungs and onto the upper level. There was more to this level, with things to hide behind, across a bridge of wooden planks...too close to a window.

They waited patiently for Pinkie to begin searching, becoming focused on what was around her...and not looking forward to the bridge. They quickly darted onto it, flapping their thin wings in an effort to move faster.

But as soon as they were halfway across the bridge, it trembled under their weight and collapsed. They screamed as they fell, a huge cloud of dust bursting around them as they tried to pull themselves out of the pile of broken wood. Pinkie had turned to see them, and they braced themselves for the inevitable reaction.

Pinkie heard a great crash behind her, and whirled around. She gasped, her ears flattening against her skull. Looming high above her, shrouded by a cloud of dust, was a tall, thin, almost serpentine being, with parts that didn’t match—

Another draconequus.

Immediately, she shrieked and tried to rush back to the door. “Discoooooord!” she yelled. “I need help!”

“P-Pinkie!” the strange draconequus said. “Please, please don’t yell!” It took a tentative step towards her...and a little bit of magic caused a web to appear in front of the door. They both seemed to flinch at this.

Pinkie whirled back around, backing away. “How do you know my name!?” she said. “And what did you do to the princess!?”

“Pinkie, Pinkie, it’s me,” the draconequus said pleadingly. “In this body…”

“Oh my Faust, you ate the princess!?” Pinkie said, her eyes nearly bugging out of her sockets. The draconequus flinched, her ears pinning back against the sides of her skull. “P-princess Fluttershy, just hold on!”

She turned and rushed towards the door, trying to tear away the sticky web. Her hooves just got very stuck, and she had to flail to escape rather than make any progress. “Discord! Discoooooord! Cordy!” she yelled as loudly as she could.

She inhaled deeply, her chest expanding with how much air she took in. She opened her mouth, prepared to scream her head off to catch Discord’s attention...but before she could, she felt two paws grab her and quickly pull her out of the web, a pony-like tail covering her muzzle.

“Mmmph!” she said, mostly in surprise as the draconequus turned her around and put her down.

“Pinkie...please,” the draconequus said, bending down to meet Pinkie’s eye level. “This is me…”

Pinkie’s eyes widened. Those teal eyes...they were Fluttershy’s. And the pink tail wrapped around her muzzle hadn’t changed a bit, aside from getting longer. She slowly relaxed, taking a step back and looking her up and down. Fluttershy took a step back as well, dropping her tail from Pinkie’s muzzle when it became clear she was going to stop screaming. She wrapped her arms around herself, looking away as Pinkie scrutinized her.

Now that Pinkie wasn’t freaking out as much, she could get a better look at Fluttershy’s...new form. Her snout was longer and much narrower than her pony one, but her eyes were still the same. Her ears were now long, floppy bunny ones that hung almost to her shoulders.

One of her wings was still a pegasus wing, though slightly bigger, while the other was a pink butterfly wing. Her front hooves had transformed into a rabbit paw and a cat paw, white and cream-colored respectively, while her back hooves were the same pony hooves...though longer, and now with the strength to support her much taller, if thinner, body.

“You look, um…” Pinkie said, trying to find the right words. She wasn’t bad-looking, not at all, but it was hard to say that right after screaming in her face.

“I’m hideous, okay?” Fluttershy said in a pained voice. “You don’t have to lie about it.” She stepped past her and carefully began to pull the web apart, before sighing and sitting down next to a barrel of water, averting her eyes from her reflection.

“Well...no?” Pinkie said, taking a seat next to her. “I mean, you startled me, but it’s not that bad…” Fluttershy glanced at her, her eyes pained and lined with tears. Pinkie frowned and reached out to comfort her, but she flinched away.

“How did this happen, anyway?” Pinkie asked in an attempt to change the subject. “Changing you seems like a prank Discord would pull...do I need to have a talk with him!?”

“No,” Fluttershy said with a sigh. “It...doesn’t have anything to do with him. This has been happening to me for as long as I can remember.”

“But...we’ve been together all the time for the past few days, and I’ve never seen you like this,” Pinkie said, tilting her head.

“It only happens at night...after the sun goes down,” she said with a sigh. She glanced at her reflection for just a second. “‘By day one form, by night another...this shall be the norm, until you find true love’s first kiss, and then take love’s true form…’”

“That’s, um...nice,” Pinkie said. “I didn’t know you wrote poetry.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “It’s not one of my poems,” she said. “It’s a spell. When I was a little filly, someone—a witch, maybe—cast a curse on me. Every night, I become...this!” She gestured to her body.

She wrapped her arms around herself, biting her lip and looking sadly at her reflection in the barrel of water. “I become this...ugly, horrible thing,” she said quietly. “I was placed in that tower to wait for the day my true love would rescue me. That’s why...that’s why I have to marry Lord Tirek tomorrow, before the sun sets and he—or anyone—sees me like this...” Her voice broke, and she pressed her rabbit paw against her mouth, failing to stifle a sob.

“No...no, you’re not ugly!” Pinkie was quick to assure her, placing a comforting hoof on her shoulder. “You’re just not aesthetically pleasing in a way ponies like!” She grinned a little. “But...if Discord saw you like this? He’d probably go ‘ha-cha-chaa’!”

“W-what!?” Fluttershy said, stunned. A blush spread across her muzzle.

“And since he’d think you’re beautiful, and he and I are friends, then of course I think you’re beautiful, too!” Pinkie continued. She gasped, her eyes sparkling happily. “Ooh, do you think he’s pretty, too!? You should tell him! And you should show him yourself, just like this!”

“T-t-tell him!?” Fluttershy squeaked. Her blush disappeared as her face became pale, and she placed a paw against her mouth. “N-no, I just...I can’t…”

Pinkie tilted her head. “Why not?” she asked. “I mean...you two get along so well, and he’d probably be happy if you shared this with him. Why couldn’t you tell him, and maybe...maybe even stay with him!”

Fluttershy was silent, quietly staring at her own reflection. She closed her eyes and turned back to Pinkie, taking a deep breath.

Meanwhile, Discord was walking back to the building, gripping a blooming red rose in his paw. There were a few pricks on his palm because of it, but the task ahead (especially since he couldn’t find the right words at all!) seemed much more pressing.

“So, um, princess,” he said. He shook his head. “No...too formal. Fluttershy?” He frowned. “Maybe...Fluttershy, I—well, I suppose for once I’ll indulge in that small talk you ponies love so much. Soooo… how are you? Good? Ah, good for me, too. I was just out for a stroll, and I saw this rose, and well, you know, I actually despise roses. They are just SO cliché. Seriously, why is it always a rose? I mean, I only brought you THIS one because it’s the only flower I was able to find, but why couldn’t it have been a nice monkey face orchid? Or a bird of paradise, or snake’s head, or even a flame lily?!? They’re SO much more interesting! But I guess even though I don‘t like roses, they ARE pretty in an overrated kind of way, so they made me think of you. Uh, I mean, not that I think YOU’RE cliché or overrated! I hate roses, but you’re different, I like you!”

He groaned, pressing his forehead against his fist. “Why, why, why,” he growled. “Did I eat those books without even reading them once!?” He sighed. “I don’t know what I’m doing…”

He glanced up and saw how close he was to the building. He sighed again, clutching the flower with both hands. “Right, well...here goes nothing,” he said, straightening up and stepping forward.

As he neared the door, his ears twitched as the sound of two very familiar voices came through the closed door. It was muffled, but his hearing was always sharp.

By the sound of it, Pinkie and Fluttershy had been in deep conversation. “I shouldn’t listen,” he said. “That would be the polite thing to do…”

“...true love’s kiss,” he heard Fluttershy say faintly. His ears perked right up.

“Then again, when have I ever worried about politeness?” he said to himself. He leaned closer, pressing his ear against the door.

Pinkie’s voice came through clearly, only a little muffled. “But Fluttershy, I really think that Discord—”

“It doesn’t matter,” Fluttershy said, sounding upset. “Just...just look at me, Pinkie. I...I mean, could anyone honestly care for and love something so...so hideous and monstrous?” Discord froze, unable to move, his heart racing now for an entirely different reason. “‘Princess’ and ‘monster’ shouldn’t go together. That’s why...that’s why I have to marry Lord Tirek. I can’t just...just stay with Discord!”

His heart that had been furiously thumping in his chest shuddered and froze at her words. He took a few steps back, reeling and trying to justify what he had just heard, trying to convince himself that he had misheard, that she hadn’t just…

But there was no way she could be talking about any creature but him. He scowled down at the rose in his paw. Such a pretty thing...one that had pricked him with its thorns as soon as he tried to pick it.

With a snort, he tossed it aside and walked away, shaking his head. He mentally berated himself for being so foolish...for thinking with his heart instead of with his head, as he should have.

He took a deep breath, allowing himself to feel nothing but cold, hard anger...anything to smother the hurt. Another deep breath, and he opened his eyes again, focusing his sights on Duloc.

He kept walking forward, her words fresh in his mind. He would not care. He would not be hurt. He wouldn’t.

“Couldn’t you at least tell Discord the truth?” Pinkie pleaded with Fluttershy, unaware the draconequus had been listening and left. “I mean, you never know! He could get all excited, and then you’ll both be in love, and kiss, and you’ll live happily ever after!” She grinned, gesturing animatedly to Fluttershy’s body.

The princess looked away, biting her lip and rubbing at her arm. For a long, long moment, she actually considered it. Discord was sweet, and he made her laugh...would he really accept her as she was…?

A part of her immediately, instinctively balked at the idea. “No...no, I can’t tell him!” she said, shaking her head. “And...please, please don’t tell him either!”

Pinkie frowned. “Well...I still feel like telling him would go well!” she said. “But...if you really don’t want him to know…”

She pulled a cupcake out of nowhere. “I’ll keep your secret,” she said. “Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” She went through the motions of her Pinkie Promise, ending by pressing the cupcake into her face. “Pinkie Promise! I never break my promises.”

Fluttershy smiled gratefully. “Thank you, Pinkie,” she said. “And...I’ll think about telling him…”

The two of them sat in silence for a few moments. “...do you want to stay?” she finally asked. “I mean, you already know about…” She gestured to her asymmetric body. “And...it would be nice to...have someone near…”

“Of course!” Pinkie said, hopping into the nearby pile of hay. “This’ll be like a sleepover! Sorry I didn’t bring any popcorn. I still have a few cupcakes, though!”

“That’s okay,” Fluttershy said with a small smile, slowly laying on the hay next to Pinkie. “I’m full, anyway. And...pretty sleepy…”

“Sleepy?” Pinkie said. “After all of those revelations and expositions? Me, I’m so excited, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to—!” Her head fell back onto the hay, and she began to snore without even finishing her sentence.

Fluttershy giggled, shifting until she was comfortable, with only her tail hanging off of the hay and sprawling onto the floor. She sighed and closed her eyes, but despite feeling a bit tired, she couldn’t fall asleep right away. What if telling Discord was the right thing to do? Should she just...abandon the idea of marrying nobility, and give up a chance of breaking her curse by going against everything she was taught as a princess...for maybe a little bit of happiness?

She wrapped her arms around herself, shutting her eyes tightly and wishing she didn’t need to make a decision like this, or worry about this...curse, and this form.

The Separation

At some point in her wishing and thinking, she must have drifted off to sleep. Fluttershy slowly blinked awake, only to see nothing but pink in her vision. Her heart jumped for a second...until she realized that it was just Pinkie, who had crawled on top of her at some point during the night.

She slowly nudged Pinkie off of her. Pinkie just snored and smacked her lips, curling back up into the hay. Fluttershy slowly stood up on her four hooves, stretching her wings out with a yawn as early-morning light streamed in through the cracks in the building.

With another yawn, she opened the door and stepped outside into the early-morning sunlight. Perhaps there were some berries she could find, or more roots she could cook for breakfast. Last time, Discord had enjoyed that…

She shivered. Just thinking his name filled her with mixed emotions, and made the questions from last night return again. She shook her head...and her eyes landed on a bright red rose, sitting there just off to the side of the porch.

With a smile, she bent down to pick it up, holding it to her nose and taking in his scent. “To tell him...or not to tell him?” she murmured to herself, letting the petals tickle her chin.

Well. Discord wasn’t here, so she had a bit of time to prepare breakfast...perhaps she could take a bit of time to consider her dilemma. She went inside the building and sat down next to the barrel of water again, stroking the rose’s soft petals.

With a tap of her hoof and a spark of magic, a single petal turned from red to pink. “I tell him.” Another tap, another petal changing color. “I tell him not…”

She continued in this fashion, working her way from the outer petals to the innermost ones. Finally, there were just three petals left. “I tell him. I tell him not…” She tapped the last petal, changing it to pink, matching the rest. “I tell him!”

The rose gave her a bit of confidence. He would understand, after all, of course he would! And chance was on her side, too! She smiled and jumped to her hooves, exiting the building.

To her joy, she could see Discord just coming over the edge of the hill! “Discord!” she called out, dropping the rose and galloping towards him. “Discord, there’s something I want...to…”

She paused, just a few feet away from him. His expression...he seemed annoyed, or maybe upset. He glanced at her, then looked away and moved past her. A chill went through her body. “Discord...are you alright?” she asked.

“Just perfect!” he said, sitting on a boulder and leaning against the wall of the building. “Never been better.” He turned away from her and began to whittle a piece of the firewood with his claws. His entire demeanor felt...cold and frigid.

Still, she swallowed and took a step closer. “Discord, there’s...there’s something I have to tell you,” she said. Her heart was pounding in her chest, butterflies whirling in his stomach.

“You don’t need to tell me anything, Princess,” he spat. With a few flicks of his claws, the wood was hollowed out. “I heard plenty of what you said last night.”

She gasped as the air was knocked out of her lungs. It felt like the ground had disappeared from underneath her, and she fell backward into a sitting position. “You...you heard what I said?” she asked weakly.

“Mhmm,” he said, not even looking up from his little project. “Every. Single. Word.” Each word was punctuated by a slice, holes being carved into a makeshift flute.

She lowered her head. “I...thought you would understand,” she said quietly.

“Oh, I understand perfectly, princess,” he said. “How was it you put it…? ‘Could anyone love something so hideous and monstrous?’” His voice imitated hers perfectly.

Her heart ached. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go...she thought he would understand. That he would maybe even...care? “I...I didn’t think it would matter to you.”

He snorted. “Typical pony monarch,” he said. “You only think about yourself. It did matter.” He paused, continuing to whittle away. “Not that you would care. I certainly don’t.”

She gasped. It felt like a knife was being driven through her chest, and she felt tears pricking the corners of her eyes. She sniffed and turned away, wrapping her wings around herself. ...it really was foolish to think he might have cared, wasn’t it? She knew from the start that he didn’t really care about her.

Uncaring of how much her heart was breaking, he placed the wooden flute to his lips and blew a few crisp, clear notes that echoed over the hill. As soon as he had done this, she could hear footsteps approaching, with something being pulled through the grass. Still, she couldn’t quite find the energy to raise her head and look.

“About time,” Discord grumbled, standing up. “Princess, I arranged a little something for you.”

She glanced up, though didn’t lift her head very much. The sight she was greeted by made her blink. A group of strange, lizardlike creatures wearing silver armor were all approaching. They surrounded a dazzling white carriage with golden trim, being pulled by two earth ponies.

The group came to a stop in front of them. Fluttershy slowly stood up, and the knights all parted, one of them grabbing and opening the carriage door. A small set of wooden steps fell forward, covered with red carpet...and the carriage’s occupant emerged.

He was a centaur, though much shorter than she had been expecting. He was an inch or two shorter than her, and she was quite sure she was in her pony form! He kept his hands clasped behind his back as he exited the carriage and walked across the grass, finally coming to a stop in front of her and pausing for a few moments.

“Princess Fluttershy,” he finally said, bowing low at the waist.

“As we had agreed,” Discord said. “Now, you’d better hold up your end of the deal…” He held his fingers in a snapping position, eyes gleaming.

“Yes, yes,” Tirek said, waving forward one of the knights. They handed a scroll to Discord, who quickly unrolled it, his eyes flicking over the overly-ornate text. “The deed to the acre with your dimension’s door...and it’s been completely cleared out, as we agreed. I suggest you take it and go before I change my mind about our deal.”

Discord snorted, rolling his eyes, scrunching up the scroll before stowing it away in a pocket of his fur. Tirek turned his attention back to Fluttershy. “Ahem. As I was saying...Princess Fluttershy, it is an honor to meet you,” he said, bowing at the waist again. “I am Lord Tirek, and I am quite pleased to meet another noble.”

He gently raised her hoof and kissed it. She flinched, and heard Discord grumbling something under his breath. She slowly lowered her hoof and turned to look, but he just snorted and refused to look her in the eye.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, trying to ignore her heartbreak as she turned away. Lord Tirek was raising an eyebrow at her. “F-forgive me,” she said with a slight bow. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, too. I was just saying a short, er, brief goodbye.” She glanced at Discord, but he still refused to look at her.

“How...kind of you,” Tirek said with a chuckle. “I don’t think you have to worry about wasting good manners on a beast though. It’s not like it has feelings.”

Fluttershy frowned sadly, looking back to Discord. He was annoyed, for sure, but...she was shocked to see that his glare was also focused on her. There was nothing in his face but contempt for the both of them, and she remembered how cold he had been to her, breaking her heart…

“You’re right,” she said, giving into how hurt and angry she felt. “He doesn’t.” She thought she saw him flinch for a moment, but he looked away before she could see his reaction. For a brief moment...lashing out felt good. But it was quickly replaced by a twinge of guilt.

Before she could dwell on it, or take back what she had said, Lord Tirek coughed, and she turned back to look at him. “Princess Fluttershy,” he said, holding her hoof again and dropping to his knees. “Would you honor me with your hoof in marriage?”

A gasp escaped her lips. This was everything she had wanted, wasn’t it? To get married, to finally be free of her curse? Tirek was looking at her expectantly. ...this wasn’t what she had imagined this moment would be like. She wasn’t feeling the fluttering or warmth in her heart that she had hoped for.

...but when she had felt something close to that, she had just gotten hurt. Why throw away her best chance at her happy ending, when her only other option was nothing but contempt?

He was still waiting expectantly for her answer, and only seemed confused and perhaps a bit impatient at her silence. “L-lord Tirek,” she said with a small nod. “I accept.”

“Excellent!” he said, quickly standing up, still holding her hoof. “I’ll have everything prepared once you return to Duloc. We’ll be wed by tomorrow afternoon, and everything will fall into place.” He let go to rub his hands together.

Tomorrow? “No!” she said, backing away with a gasp of fear. What if she couldn’t find a place to hide before sunset? What if she lost track of time and was seen out in the open? What if she couldn’t keep control of her magic until then?

Tirek’s head snapped back to look at her, stunned and unhappy, and she flinched. “I-I just mean...that is…” She scuffed at the ground with a hoof. “Why, uh, why wait? Couldn’t we get married before the sun sets? Today?” The sun hadn’t climbed very far into the sky, so there was still plenty of time…

Both Tirek and Discord stared at her with wide eyes, jaws dropping. Discord snorted and shook his head. Of course she’d latch onto another monarch quickly.

Tirek blinked, quickly recovering. “I understand wanting to do this quickly,” he said with a nod. “The sooner, the better!” He gripped her hoof and guided her towards the carriage. “There’s so much to arrange, and Verko and Cozy will need to round up some guests, but it can and will be done! We’ll be wed by the end of the day.”

She forced a small grin as she followed him. One of the knights opened the door again, and Tirek entered...but Fluttershy paused, her hoof dropping to the ground. She turned and looked back.

Discord had crossed his arms and turned away from her and Tirek. She could still see Pinkie sleeping in the building, but with a couple of snorts, she was starting to wake up and stand up. Even if Discord hadn’t...been what she had started to think, Pinkie had still been a good friend.

Pinkie stumbled out of the doorway, her front hoof wobbling as her eyes teared up. “Whazza...goodbye party?” she mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with her non-shaking hoof.

“Goodbye, Pinkie,” Princess Fluttershy said with a small wave. “And...thank you for helping escort me.” Before Pinkie could respond, she turned away and back to Tirek. She swallowed the lump in her throat. This is the best thing to do.

The centaur snapped his fingers, making Discord cross his arms. That was his shtick, and at least he had the magic to back it up! But at the signal, several of the knights surrounded his carriage, forming a sort of shield for the monarchs.

“Fare thee well, Pinkie and Dis...draconequus,” the princess said for a final time as she entered the small carriage. As soon as she was inside, the door slammed closed, and it began to move rapidly away, the soldiers marching forward as it headed over the hill.

Pinkie looked at the leaving party, then at Discord, her eyes wide. She rushed over to his side, grabbing and tugging on his claw. “Discord, what are you doing?” she said. “You aren’t just going to stand here as she leaves forever, are you?”

He scowled, jerking his hand out of her grip. “Of course not,” he said. “I intend to leave.” He turned and started walking towards the forest, in the opposite direction as Tirek and Fluttershy.

“But...you can’t just leave!” she said, bouncing alongside him. “Don’t you care about her? What if she wants to stay with you? What if there’s something she wants to tell you?”

He snorted, holding his head high and refusing to look at her...or anypony. “Care? Me?” he said. “You must have mistaken me for someone else. A soft-hearted pony, perhaps.”

She paused, narrowing her eyes at him. “What’s wrong?” she said. “This isn’t like you.”

He bore his fangs. “You have no idea who I am,” he said, clenching his fists. “Now. Why don’t you go and run along with your best pony friend?” He gestured in the general direction of Duloc without looking.

“But…” She looked up at him, her mane slightly deflating. “You’re both my friends. I...I want to come with you, too.”

He felt a flare of anger, and his hands shook at his sides with how hard he was clenching them. “We are not friends! And you are not coming with me!” he snapped. She took a step back, her eyes widening. “I told you before—my dimension is mine, and mine alone! I don’t need or want anyone else!”

“Especially not annoying pink ponies who don’t know when to shut up and keep their pastel muzzles out of my life!” he finished, jabbing his finger against her nose. She stared at him with wide eyes, her jaw dropping. After a few seconds with no response, he snorted and turned away.

Pinkie glanced sadly between him, and the hills Fluttershy had long since disappeared over. “But...I thought…”

“You thought wrong!” he said bluntly, pushing his way into the thick undergrowth of the forest. Within a few minutes, he quickly disappeared into the shadows, heading towards his dimension.

Pinkie sat on the hill, her mane slowly deflating as her coat turned slightly grey. “Discord,” she said weakly, staring at the spot he had entered the woods. Even if he had been around to hear her, there wasn’t a response.

She sighed, her head and ears drooping.

Discord soon reached the door to his dimension and stepped inside. He glanced around and sent out a few tendrils of magic through the area, but everything he could sense confirmed one thing—his dimension was completely emptied of ponies.

For a moment, there was a nagging voice in the back of his head, wondering where the ponies were now. (It sounded like Pinkie, and maybe a bit like that princess). He quickly shook the thought away with a scoff, flying up to his house, using his magic to disorganize some of the order it looked like those ponies tried to make in their temporary stay.

He kicked over a tent someone had left near his house, opening the door and stepping inside. A quick glance around was enough to tell him that there had definitely been a few intruders in here...but fortunately, there wasn’t that much order left here. A few snaps of his fingers, and the familiar dust bunnies rushed back to their places under the couch, and maple syrup was once again smeared across the ceiling and windows.

The next place he checked was Midnight Snacker’s room. The giant spider had vanished—and knowing how hard she was to wrangle, she had probably chosen to leave. At least she had left all of her intimidating webs to scare off guests...even if ponies almost never came in here when he was home. Or ever, really, aside from the occasional mob trying to hunt him down, or idiotic muggers and travelers…

He shook his head and continued his inspection of his home. It’d be just like a monarch to order his guards to ‘accidentally borrow’ anything that looked valuable. But although some things appeared to have been moved, almost nothing was taken...maybe they all assumed it was cursed. Which wouldn’t be entirely incorrect for some items.

Everything was in proper disorder in the living room and kitchen, though. The chaise lounge that would chase anyone, the piano-key stairs to nowhere, the cheese-and-chocolate fountain in the kitchen, the stone pillar covered with vines and multicolored roses—

That last one forced him to do a double-take. He froze in place, staring at the colorful blooms that saturated the surface of the pillar. He remembered now—he had wanted to make the kitchen a little more colorful. The idea of rainbow roses had come to him after a walk in the woods, posting warnings about his dimension.

The idea had seemed simple but novel at the time...but now, it just made him remember the last rose he had grabbed, the moment he approached that old building and heard the princess and Pinkie talking…

He shook his head, and realized that he started grinding his teeth while he was thinking. Well. No way he was keeping these around, bringing back memories that were better off buried.

With a snap of his fingers, the entire pillar caught fire, and the stems and flowers were charred black, quickly crumbling away. Normally he would have watched the small act of destruction he had caused, but...he didn’t feel good about destroying the flowers.

So he turned and walked away. A good meal would surely make him forget the whole annoying, painful adventure! He’d skip dessert, though. And anything that had plants in it. Just because he felt like it, and not because he was avoiding memories!

He slammed his hands down on the kitchen counter, trying to jolt himself out of that train of thought, and causing several packs of food to fall from the ceiling, bouncing off of his head and onto the floor. After a few moments spent frozen like that, he shook his head and began to gather up the food packets.

Fluttershy stared blankly at her reflection, watching as a pure white dress was tailored to fit her.

This kingdom had been filled with such strange creatures, with hardly any ponies around...but it had seemed quite orderly, and very clean. At first glance, it seemed like a very nice place. But the longer she spent here, the more uncomfortable she felt.

Hardly a word had been said to her as she arrived—she was instead quickly ushered off to be prepared for the upcoming ceremony. Being rushed was probably her own fault for being so insistent that the wedding happen before the end of the day, but…

Her thoughts were interrupted as she felt the hands leave her side, the tailors stepping back and away from her. She blinked, focusing on her reflection in the mirror. The dress fit her perfectly, and was made of fine, pure white silk, mostly unadorned. “Thank you,” she said to the creatures helping her.

They simply bowed, unsmiling, and turned to leave the room. Her ears drooped slightly—no one seemed to be smiling around her, either. Not to mention the lack of any plant or animal life in the city...as orderly as it all was, it all seemed lifeless.

She closed her eyes and shook her head. This was her last option to break her curse. Especially since Discord...she grit her teeth and pushed the thought away before sadness could well up in her again. Tears pricked the corners of her eyes.

With a sigh, she lifted the veil of thin fabric and let it drape over her face. Hopefully this could keep anyone from noticing her...lack of enthusiasm about the upcoming ceremony. And...there was still so much to prepare before it happened.

She turned away from the mirror and left the room, searching for something else to do, something that could distract her and keep her from being washed away by her own sorrowful thoughts.

Pinkie had wandered into the woods long after Discord had left. She was pretty confident about where his dimension was, but...a part of her said he needed space. Besides, she wasn’t sure what she would even say to him...or to Fluttershy, if she changed directions and headed that way!

After a couple of minutes, she found a shallow river of very clear water. She stopped, bending down to get a drink...and paused afterward, sitting back on the grassy shore when she saw how much her mane had drooped, and how glassy her eyes seemed.

She stared at her reflection in the river, sighing. “Well...this is a fine mess,” she told her reflection. “I really thought my two friends were so perfect for each other...but when I wake up, they’re both upset with each other, and go in different directions without me!”

“Pity party for one, then?” her reflection ‘said’ back to her.

“What else?” she said, reaching into her mane and pulling out a cupcake. Chocolate peanut butter...she sighed again, setting the cupcake down. “A pity party without snacks...I can’t eat this without tasting guilt.”

She heard a sniffing sound from further down the river. She glanced up and saw one of the last creatures she had been expecting—Cheese Sandwich the dragon. He was currently staring at his own reflection, and seemed to be miming some sort of conversation with himself. From the way his spines were drooping, to his hung head and slow movements, everything seemed to scream that the ‘conversation’ wasn’t that happy.

...not that he would have much reason to be happy, she realized with a cold jolt. He had been knocked out and left all alone in an old castle, without even a note! That cold worm of guilt returned to her chest.

Slowly, she stood up, picked up the cupcake, and walked over to him. He lifted his head when he heard her hoofsteps, his eyes widening in surprise when he saw her.

With a sheepish grin, she held the cupcake out to him. “...hi, again,” she said. “Can we talk this out...without you carrying me off somewhere?”

Cheese stared at her for a few moments...then slowly nodded, bending his head to gently tap his nose against the side of her head.

They both smiled shyly (and a bit awkwardly) at each other, their manes (and floofy spines) slowly rising a bit closer to their usual glory. Cheese’s tongue snaked out to snag the cupcake, making her chuckle a little.

Discord poked listlessly at his food. He had thrown anything he could grab into a pot, and the result seemed to be cooked noodles with salsa and ranch. Normally, he would have delighted at the disgustingly chaotic food, with a quiet kitchen all to himself, but...his appetite had gone.

With a sigh, he slurped up some of the noodles, then took a sip of chocolate milk. I’d like that, he remembered the princess saying, a small mustache of the same milk above her smiling lips…

He coughed, quickly slamming the glass down and swallowing the liquid. Great. Now a drink he liked had been ruined by the adventure...and now, he was recalling other moments she had smiled like that at him, her eyes sparkling in the sun…

With a sigh, he leaned his elbows against the table and pressed his head into his hands. If only knowing it had been a lie would make his heart stop singing out for something that wasn’t possible.

Fluttershy stared down at the salad in front of her, all green lettuce and sliced vegetables. It looked very fresh, and was probably very delicious, but…she kept finding herself craving something with more flavor.

Something sweet, like Pinkie’s cupcakes, or juicy fresh fruits she had ripened with her magic, or...or chocolate almond milk raining chaotically from a cotton candy cloud.

Thinking about that cloud, how happily Discord had made it, just to share something with her...she sniffed, a lump forming in her throat. She closed her eyes, pressing her head into her front hooves as though she could push any tears back in.

For the first time, she was grateful that she had been left alone in the massive, polished dining room. That way, no one could see her wrestling with her broken heart.

How could she have been foolish enough to fall for him…? Even if they seemed to...to get along so well, and he made her so happy, happier than she had been in years, he clearly only ever saw her as a means to an end.

But knowing that only made her hurt even more.

Discord wasn’t sure how long he had sat alone at his table, trying not to think of Fluttershy and yet thinking about everything about her anyway. He was only stirred from his thoughts when he heard some kind of commotion coming from outside, like different items being smashed together.

He raised an eyebrow, standing up. He hadn’t used his magic to make noise, there was nothing random enough to make quite that much noise, and his dimension was supposed to be free of intruders. If that monarch failed on his end, after all I went through...he thought, gritting his teeth as he stormed towards the front door.

At least this could provide an adequate distraction for a short while... he opened the door, stepping outside to see what the noise was. To his surprise, Pinkie was there, doing something while floating in the middle of his dimension.

"Pinkie?" he said, floating closer. Now that he could get a better look, it seemed that she was trying to build a structure out of the random objects floating around his dimension.

"What in Equestria are you doing?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Discord!" she said. She pulled a glue bottle out of her mane and applied it between two plant pots without plants. "I thought you'd be able to recognize a wall, since you mentioned wanting to build so many."

He tilted his head. "First, while I love the chaoticness of this...a strong breeze is going to be enough to knock this 'wall' over." He whipped his tail and toppled a tower of books that made up one part of the wall to demonstrate.

"Second...Pinkie, the walls are meant to go around the door," he said. "Or at least, close to it. What is this supposed to accomplish?"

“Well, it still blocks your dimension off from ponies!” she said cheerfully, pushing the books back up. “Well...your half of it.”

“My half?” he said, his eyebrow raising high enough that it popped off of his face. He caught it in his paw and slapped it back onto his forehead.

“Yep!” she said cheerfully. “We both rescued the princess, so we both get half of the reward.” She scratched her head. “It was a bit hard to eyeball, but I made sure to give you more space, just in case. Really, all you’re losing is the door...and did you want that, anyway?”

Discord crossed his arms, a low rumble forming in the back of his throat. “Now,” Pinkie said, looking around at what was bobbing around them. “Could you pass me that lamp? The one that looks like you?”

He grabbed the lamp...and promptly tossed it over his shoulder. “Back off, Pinkie!” he snapped. “And get out!” He pointed towards the door.

“Why don’t you back off!?” she snapped back, catching him by surprise.

He shook off his surprise just as she was reaching for a crystal statue of himself and setting it in her wall. He grabbed it and tried to pull it out of her grip, but she pulled back.

“Quit building a wall in my dimension!”

“Our dimension!”

He growled. “You...you…”

“Oh yeah? What am I?” she said, pressing her muzzle against his.

“You...annoying, foolish, obnoxious, fluff-headed, dense, naive, ignorant, annoying excuse of a pony!” he yelled. “Why can’t you just leave?”

“Maybe I don’t want to leave, you bullheaded, stubborn draconequus!” she snapped back.

He blinked in surprise, then dropped the statue. “You know what? Fine!” He stormed off. “So you want half of the dimension? Big deal! I still have the other half, and I can just block you out! I’ll soundproof your shoddy wall with magic by tomorrow morning.”

“Hey, come back!” she said. She pushed off of the ground and pedaled her legs, chasing after him. “I’m not done with you yet.”

“Well, I’m done with you,” he said, shoving her away.

She just pedaled her way right back. “You know, whenever we talk, it’s all about you,” she said. “You keep talking about how ponies never give you a chance, but have you ever actually listened to one yourself? Why don’t you stay quiet and listen to me?”

He glared at her. He moved to shove her again, but she latched onto his arm. “Yeah?” he said, trying to shake her off. “Well, if I’m such a horrible creature for not wanting to listen to a fluffhead, why do you keep hanging around me? Why did you come back here?”

“Because I want to be your friend!” she said, dropping to the ground. “And that’s what friends do—they forgive each other, and talk things out!”

“Forgiveness, huh?” he mused, stroking his beard. “Alright, you know what? Okay, Pinkie. I forgive you.” He patted the top of her floofy mane.

She raised an eyebrow. “Really? You do? For what?” she asked, sounding a little bit hopeful.

“For stabbing me in the back!” he shouted. He stepped back into his house and slammed the door in her stunned face. A snap of his fingers, and all the windows slammed shut, too, the curtains drawing closed.

“Stab you in the back?” she said. “What did I do? You’re the one who keeps trying to shove everyone away and ignoring your own feelings!”

“Go away,” he growled, shoving cotton balls into his ears.

“There it is again!” she said. “You keep pushing away everypony who actually tries to reach out to you. Me, Fluttershy—”

“Don’t bring her up!” he shouted, his fur bristling up.

“Why not?” she asked. “And why were you so mean to both of us? All she wanted was a chance to be your friend...maybe even love you.”

“Love me?” he scoffed. “Don’t expect me to fall for your lies. I heard you two last night, so you can’t trick me!”

“...which part did you hear?” she asked.

“The part where she mentioned how, as a princess, she couldn’t be with a hideous, mismatched creature,” he said. “And who would I be, to disagree with such a kind pony with noble blood?”

“Oh. Ooooh…” she said. “Discord, um, she...she wasn’t talking about you. That was about...somebody else.”

“She....wasn’t?” he said, pulling the cotton balls out of his ears. The gears in his head began to turn. Had he fallen for the ever-so-cliche misunderstanding plot? But, then… “Well then, who was she talking about?” he asked, throwing the front door open.

Pinkie shook her head, making a zipping motion over her mouth. “I Pinkie-Promised that I wouldn’t say anything,” she said. “Besides, you don’t want to listen to me anyway, right!?”

“Pinkie!” he said. He grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her, her head bobbing back and forth. “Spill, now! Who else could she have been talking about!?”

“No way!” she said. She slipped out of his grip and turned her back to him, huffing and crossing her forelegs.

He growled, clutching his hands into fists. Pinkie continued giving him the cold shoulder. He sighed, deflating slightly. “Look, I’m...I’m s-s-s-sorry, okay!?” he managed to spit out.

Her ears perked up, and she glanced over her shoulder at him. “Fooooor…?” she said, looking at him expectantly.

“For…” He sighed. “For calling you names. And trying to push you away, figuratively and literally. And shaking you violently. And…” He rubbed the back of his neck, ears drooping. “For...being a mean, scary draconequus in general. Can you forgive me?”

She turned around, smiling and opening her forelegs to him. “Of course,” she said. “What are friends for?”

“So...friends?” he said awkwardly, slowly opening his arms.

“Friends,” she said, darting forward and wrapping her forelegs around his torso. He froze for a moment—this sensation was new, but not...entirely unpleasant. He slowly wrapped his arms around her, patting her back.

She smiled, nestling into his thick fur. He chuckled, patting the top of her fluffy mane. It was soft to the touch...not bad, actually. Fluttershy’s was probably much softer, though…that made him remember the topic before their sudden hugging session.

“So, um,” he said, separating from her slowly. She stared up at him. “What did Fluttershy say about me, if that...less-than-pleasant comment wasn’t about me?”

“Hey, if you’re fishing for how she feels about you, you shouldn’t ask me,” she said. “Why don’t you go and ask her yourself?”

His eyes widened. “The wedding!” he said, standing up straight. He began to pace in mid-air. “Even if I had time to completely recharge my magic in here, which I haven’t, my teleportation could never take us straight to Duloc in time! We’re not going to make it…”

Pinkie smirked. “I have a solution!” she said. “How’d you think I got here so fast?” She poked her head out of the door, pressed her hoof to her lips, and gave a loud, shrill whistle.

A loud roar responded, and a gust of wind blew through the trees and into his dimension. A dragon—no, the dragon, the one that had been guarding Fluttershy—descended from the sky and landed on the ground, right in front of his door. He gave a large, toothy grin at Pinkie.

Discord blinked, looking back and forth between Pinkie and the dragon. “Wait...you…”

She smiled at him. “Cheesy and I talked things over, and made up!” she said, bouncing over to the dragon many times her size. “And he’s willing to help you and Fluttershy! C’mon!”

Discord blinked, then followed right alongside her. “Cheese...Sandwich, right?” he asked once he was at the dragon’s head. He nodded. “So, ah...no hard feelings, then?”

Cheese shook his head, then nodded towards his back. “He’s wondering what you’re waiting for!” Pinkie said as she climbed up his tail. Cheese lifted his tail and slid her carefully onto his back. “Like you said, we need to get there before the wedding finishes!”

“Right!” Discord said. With a snap of his fingers, he teleported onto the dragon’s back, right behind Pinkie. “Time to add veteran dragon rider and wedding-crasher to my resume,” he said with a grin, pulling a blue, shell-like helmet onto his head.

Once he had sat down, Pinkie gripped the spines that looked like a fluffy mane on Cheese’s head. “Onward!” she said, pointing up. “To Duloc, to fight for true love!”

Cheese let out a roar, beating his wings. The branches whipped in the wind he created, and he pushed off of the ground and into the sky. Pinkie cheered, throwing both of her front hooves into the air. Discord wrapped his tail around one of the spines behind him.

Any other day, he would probably cheer, too. But right now...with his heart pounding, and the pit forming at the bottom of his stomach, it took all of his concentration to stay focused on the mission without completely panicking.

He could only hope they would make it in time.

The Wedding

Fluttershy and Tirek were standing at an altar in Duloc’s central cathedral. Creatures of all shapes and sizes were gathered in the front rows, while there was a nervous-looking crowd of ponies in the back. All were silent, only reacting if Tirek’s pegasus assistant Cozy Glow held up a new cue card.

A tall gargoyle was standing between the two of them, reading out of a worn book. On the altar behind them was an ancient crown sitting on a velvet cushion. Fluttershy glanced at Tirek every so often, noticing he looked quite pleased, but kept glancing away and around the room...especially at the large windows that showed the horizon.

“People of Duloc, we gather here today to bear witness,” the gargoyle read slowly. “To the union of our lord, now king…”

Fluttershy swallowed as she glanced past him to look out the windows. The sun was slowly moving towards the horizon, but it seemed that every time she looked, it seemed so much closer...

The officiant noticed her discomfort and worry, lowering the book and looking at her. Tirek also turned to her, raising an eyebrow. She lowered her head, scuffing a hoof against the ground and glancing to the windows out of the corner of her eye.

“Could...we just skip ahead to the ‘I do’s’, please?” she requested quietly. The sun just seemed to keep sinking lower and lower, and she shifted her wings nervously.

The officiant looked to Tirek for confirmation. The centaur shook his head with a small chuckle. “Go on,” he said. The officiant held the book aloft again and continued to read.

Fluttershy sighed almost silently, casting another forlorn glance at the approaching sunset. Things would be over soon. She just had to wait, and this would be the last sunset she would ever have to worry about...and if she focused on this sunset, she could banish other unwelcome thoughts.

Cheese landed with a loud thud just beside the cathedral. Discord didn’t wait a second before jumping off and rushing towards the large, ornate wooden doors. Pinkie took a little more time, sliding down the dragon’s front leg and pecking his cheek on her way down.

“Thanks, boo,” she said. “Feel free to explore town, we’ll whistle if we need you!” Cheese nodded, smiling and kissing the top of her head, then turning to meander down the empty streets.

Pinkie smiled, waving goodbye...then turned back to Discord and gasped. “Cordy! What are you doing!?”

“I’m crashing the wedding,” he said, reaching for the door handle. “What does it look like I’m doing?” Now...should he make his presence known with loud fireworks, or just by blowing the door off of its hinges?

In his moment of deliberation, Pinkie ran to his side. “Wait!” she said, grabbing his wrist. He paused, turning back to look at her. “You can’t just barge in and crash the wedding! There’s a specific line you need to wait for!”

“Seriously?” he said, raising an eyebrow.

“Yes!” she said, nodding. “At every wedding, you gotta wait for the preacher to say ‘Speak now or forever hold your peace’, and that’s when you crash the wedding and say ‘I object!’”

“Seriously?” he repeated. “Look, I don’t care about pony rules and never have. I’m going to stop this wedding right now, and I don’t care whether the preacher’s said that or not!”

He turned back to the doors again, but suddenly, Pinkie jumped up to grab his shoulders and whirled him back around. “Look, you love her, don’t you?” she said sternly, keeping her hooves at his sides to pin him to the door, despite their size difference.

“Yes,” he said.

“You wanna hold her!? Please her!?” she continued to press.

“Yes!” he said. “Why else would I be crashing her wedding!?”

“Then you’ve got to do this the right way!” she said. “Be romantic! Isn’t that what Fluttershy would want?”

He paused, turning her words over in his head. “...okay, probably,” he said. “But how exactly am I supposed to know when he’s said it? I don’t know the whole order of pony weddings.”

Pinkie smirked. “I have an idea,” she said. “Do you have enough magic for a little spell?”

“And so, by the power vested in me…” the officiant continued. Fluttershy did her best to pay attention—this was the biggest moment of her life! And it had to be the right decision. It had to be...she forced away the thoughts of draconequui, especially one particular draconequus.

Out of the corner of her eye, she thought she saw a familiar flash of pink. Pinkie? she thought.

Her heart gave a small jump, and her eyes flicked towards where she thought she had seen that flash of pink—the large circular window set high above the front doors of the cathedral.

Of course, there was nothing there but the blue sky. She sighed and chastised herself—it couldn’t have been Pinkie, anyway, because Pinkie wouldn’t be able to get that high.

She pushed back the feeling of unease (and excitement) that the thought of the mare had brought, turning her attention back to the ceremony as the officiant said, “...husband and wife, king and queen.”

“What do you see!?” Discord asked Pinkie as she fell back from the window.

She landed on the large trampoline she had convinced him to create, springing back up and towards the window. “Well, the whole town’s in there, I think!” she said. “They’re at the altar, and right now, the officiant is saying…”

As she neared the window again, she leaned forward, narrowing her eyes, and then gasped. “Sweet caramel cupcakes, he already said it! The wedding’s almost over!”

“Oh, for the love of chaos!” he groaned. He moved past the trampoline, shoving the doors open with a grunt.

Everyone’s attention was towards the front. He quickly summoned a neon megaphone into his paw and shouted into it, “I object!”

The crowd turned to look at him, murmurs spreading throughout about the strange draconequus that had interrupted the ceremony. Fluttershy and Tirek turned away from each other to look at him, Tirek’s face decidedly more angered.

“Discord?” she said, staring at him with mixed emotions.

“Oh, what does he want?” Tirek growled.

Discord stood up taller and marched closer to the altar, ignoring the heated glare Tirek was pointing at him. The crowd was staring at him in confusion, and few inching away worriedly. He chuckled and waved at a few of the more scared-looking ones, making them squeak and cower more.

“Hi, again,” he said as he walked forward, trying to calm his pounding heart. “Everyone having fun here? Doesn’t seem as exciting as my last visit. Still, Duloc’s probably my favorite city run by a stubby dictator centaur...even though it’s also pretty dull.” He had to suppress a grin as Tirek’s face contorted in even more anger.

Fluttershy’s expression went from one of mixed feelings to one of anger. Probably not a good sign for him. “What are you doing here?” she asked, glaring at him. It probably would have been pretty effective against someone who had more respect for monarchies.

“Honestly!” Tirek said. “You’ve gotten what you wanted. Could you not be so rude as to interrupt a ceremony and let everyone else be happy that they don’t have to deal with you anymore?”

Discord ignored him and turned his attention to Fluttershy. She looked lovely...though the pure-white dress was a bit dull, in his opinion. She’d look so much better with more color, maybe a bit of glitter...but this was no time to daydream! “Fluttershy, I need to talk to you,” he said.

“You do?” she said, still glaring. “I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore. You made that pretty clear. Now, if you’ll excuse me…” She turned back towards Tirek.

“But you can’t marry him!” he protested.

“And why not?” she said, raising an eyebrow.

“Well...for one thing, I’m ninety percent certain that he’s only marrying you to be able to use that crown,” he said. He pointed to Grogar’s Crown. “I’d recognize an ancient magic artifact and convenient plot device anywhere.”

“Wha...lies!” Tirek said. “Don’t listen to him, what does he know!?”

“Ninety-five percent certain,” Discord said. Fluttershy was still giving him a glare. “That, and...he isn’t your true love! Isn’t that what you wanted, in the stallion or creature you married?”

“And...and what do you know about true love!?” she snapped, turning towards him. Her eyes flared with anger.

“I…” he started to say, before his words got stuck in his throat. “Well, I, um…” Geez, this room was hot...he rubbed at the back of his neck as he felt his face start to heat up. “I-I mean…” He couldn’t even look her directly in the eyes anymore.

Fluttershy gasped, a pink blush spreading across her face. He glanced up for a second, enough to see her glare melting into complete recognition. His stomach twisted itself into nervous knots, and he looked away again.

“Oh, this is rich!” Tirek said with a laugh. “The monster has fallen in love with the princess!” The room was quiet for a few moments, and he glared and made a gesture to Cozy Glow.

The tiny pegasus wrote something new on one of the cue cards before holding it up. The crowd laughed uneasily.

“Discord...is that true?” Fluttershy asked. He slowly lifted his head, trying to meet her eyes and still finding himself too nervous to do so...but he could still catch the expectant expression on her face.

Tirek stopped laughing, staring at her in shock. “...who cares if it’s true!” he snapped. “It’s absurd! Fluttershy, dearest...we’re so close to our happily ever after!” He leaned forward, puckering his lips. Discord felt sick to his stomach.

To his relief, Fluttershy hesitated to kiss him. She glanced between Discord, the centaur groom, and the large window behind her. The sky was pink, the sun a vibrant orange as it sank closer to the horizon.

She bit her lip as she turned to look at him again. “By day one form, by night another…” she murmured under her breath. His ears twitched towards her, and he tilted his head in slight confusion. “Discord...I-I had wanted to show you this before,” she said, a little bit louder.

He tilted his head even more, confused. She took a deep breath, taking a few steps backwards, closer to the window. The sun sank below the horizon, leaving only a few golden rays hanging behind to light the room.

Fluttershy was suddenly enveloped in a bright golden light, magic seeming to burst from every pore in her skin. She closed her eyes, grimacing only slightly as the magic swirled around her, sinking slowly into her body and...changing her.

His eyes slowly widened as her body started changing right in front of him. She stretched and grew, taller and taller...her limbs became mismatched as she stood up on two legs. Her ears stretched out and flopped down, becoming fuzzy bunny ears.

Then, as soon as it appeared, the magic vanished. Fluttershy the pegasus was gone...and Fluttershy the draconequus stood there, looking at Discord nervously. The crowd behind him gasped, but he ignored them—they weren’t important right now. His brain seemed to short-circuit, his mouth opening and closing for a few seconds as he tried to figure out what to say.

“Oh, w-wow…wowza,” Discord finally managed to articulate. A blush spread across his face as his eyes widened, drinking in the sight of Fluttershy as a...a draconequus. A very attractive draconequus…

He blinked, trying to snap himself out of his sudden stupor. “Well...that explains a lot,” he said, rubbing at the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. Fluttershy grinned sheepishly back, looking content and embarrassed all at once. His heart beat even more quickly in his chest.

“Ugh, it’s disgusting!” Tirek said, his face contorting into disgust. Fluttershy flinched, suddenly looking scared. Discord turned to the ‘Lord’, baring his fangs and shaking a clenched fist at his side. His pupils turned to slits, his eyes glowing red.

“Guards! Guards!” the centaur yelled. Several armored knights around the room came to attention, rushing forward. “Get both of these draconequuses out of my sight! Capture them both!”

Two of the guards suddenly grabbed Discord from behind, holding his arms behind his back and trying to pin him down. He snarled and struggled out of their grip, using the slight magic he had to push them away, but more and more guards began to surround him, pulling him further away from the altar.

Even more guards seemed to swarm around Fluttershy, grabbing her arms and twisting them behind her back. She struggled in their grip, trying to move towards him, but the guards kept pulling her back...until Tirek snapped his fingers, making them stop and holding her in place.

“I hope you didn’t get too comfortable here,” Tirek snarled. He grabbed Grogar’s Crown and set it behind his horns. It flashed with magic...and then, the magic started to slowly seep into him, traveling up his stubby horns and causing them to grow to greater lengths. “Because as soon as this marriage is fully binding, I’ll drain you of that awful, unnatural magic you have and send you right back to that tower! I will be the most powerful creature in the kingdom, the only one with magic!”

He stepped closer to Fluttershy, his horns now grown to almost her full height. “Have the other sent to the dungeons...I can drain him later,” he said, waving Discord away dismissively. Normally, he would have been irked to be so easily dismissed...but the terror shining in Fluttershy’s eyes as she tried to wriggle free made him feel an even stronger emotion—pure anger.

“No!” Discord growled, struggling against the grip of the guards. He struggled to free his arms or his tail, anything he could use to snap and channel magic, but it was all in vain. Tirek pulled Fluttershy closer to him, magic flaring around the crown and his horns. She gave a small cry, either from pain or fear.

That was it. All he could see was red, and if he could use his magic, he would just—!

Snap.

Something inside him seemed to click together, like snapping in the last piece of a puzzle, or a circuit being completed. He felt his magic suddenly flare inside of him—more magic than he had used in the pony dimension, maybe even more magic than he had felt in his own dimension!

With a roar, he released the magic from his body. It burst from his chest, striking the guards holding him back and pushing them back several feet. Before they knew what was happening, their armor suddenly turned into noodles—large, sauce-covered noodles that writhed and grew until their wearers were completely enveloped in balls of pasta.

But he had bigger dishes to fry. He swished his tail, and he disappeared in a flash of light, reappearing between Tirek and Fluttershy. With another snap, the guards holding Fluttershy were grabbed by taffy whips and pulled away, stuck to the wall. “You want magic?” he snarled, his power still welling up inside of him. “Then have some!”

He opened his lion paw, letting a stream of shimmering purple magic blast from it...directly into Tirek’s eyes. The centaur screeched, trying to cover his eyes and back away from the assault. “Guards!” he howled. “Cozy! Someone! Stop him!”

Discord was having none of that. With a snap of his claw, the stone and metal of the building seemed to bend and shift, closing off exits and entrances, and putting barriers between the three of them. Several creatures screamed as the floor under their hooves moved, but he didn’t care, as long as he could protect—

A soft touch on his upper arm made him flinch, turning his head to see who dared come close to him when he was like this. He immediately relaxed (but only slightly) when he saw it was Fluttershy, staring at him with those wide, shining, beautiful eyes…

“Discord,” she said, smiling softly. “You...you’re amazing. And powerful and strong…” Her grip tightened a little bit. “But...you have to stop this. You’re close to hurting ponies.”

“If I don’t do this,” he said. “They’ll try to hurt you. I can’t let that happen.” The building groaned as it moved a little more, though not as drastically. Tirek was still crying and shielding his eyes, so Discord ceased firing raw magic towards him, turning his entire body towards Fluttershy.

She smiled, caressing his cheek. “I know you want to protect me,” she said. “And I’m grateful for that...but I can protect myself, you know.” She held out her other paw, letting a spark of magic drift from her palm and float away.

He relaxed even more. That’s right...she had magic, too. And she wouldn’t want him to hurt creatures...the magic welling around him slowly receded, and with a loud groan, the building stopped twisting.

She smiled softly and gratefully...but then her face fell. “Discord!” she yelped, pointing behind him.

With her warning, he was able to use his magic to throw a shield around the both of them. Unfortunately, it was too late to stop some of the magic from striking him in the back, burning him.

He hissed, gritting his teeth as the orange magic seared his fur and skin. He barely managed to concentrate enough to keep the shield up around the two of them. “Discord!” Fluttershy said, her paw flying to his burn.

“Don’t...worry about me,” he managed to say as Tirek’s magic blast died out. Their shield was standing for now, and his burn wasn’t that bad. Fluttershy still frowned, closing her eyes slightly. He felt magic flow from her and into him, cooling and then healing his burn.

“...thanks,” he said as the pain receded. She smiled at him for a brief second, before her gaze turned fearfully back to Tirek. The centaur glowered at him, orange magic pouring from the crown and arcing through his growing horns.

Discord glowered right back. Tirek may be saturated with magic and larger than he could handle, but...he pressed his fingers to his lips and let out a loud, shrill whistle, just as Pinkie had done earlier.

Suddenly, Cheese’s head smashed through the impressive stained glass window, roaring and showing off his sharp teeth. The creatures gathered screeched and tried to scramble away, but the way the building had been warped prevented them from getting very far.

“Everyone stay calm!” Pinkie yelled. She was perched on top of Cheese’s head, clinging onto his spikes. “It’s just a huge hungry dragon helping a draconequus and pony crash an evil centaur’s wedding! Nothing to worry about!”

Nopony was calmed by this. Lord Tirek scoffed, his magic flaring up again as he turned his attention to his new challenger. “A dragon?” he said. “Do you think a dragon can stand up to my might! This magic has made me invincible!”

Discord allowed himself to grin. “S-see, here’s a piece of advice,” he said with a chuckle. “If you start saying things like that, you’re just begging for a karmic defeat at that point.”

“Oh?” Tirek said, chuckling darkly. “You can’t do anything to beat me, you worm! And I’d like to see this beast try to defeat me!” His horns flared with even more energy, growing a few inches longer.

Cheese growled, opening his mouth to fire a stream of boiling cheese at Tirek. Magic flared up Tirek’s horns, firing in a concentrated beam and countering the breath weapon. Discord quickly strengthened his shield just as magic and cheese sprayed everywhere.

“What are we going to do?” Fluttershy asked, sounding anxious as Tirek and Cheese growled and glared at each other.

Discord glanced between Cheese and Tirek, his eyes sweeping up and down the centaur’s giant horns. The dragon snapped at the phony lord, but he easily blocked the attack with a flash of magic that left Cheese’s lips smoking.

“...I have an idea,” he whispered to Fluttershy. “But we’ll need to attack his horns. Trust me, it’s important.”

“...‘we’?” she said, tilting her head. Her bunny ears flopped adorably to the side.

“Of course!” he said. “I don’t think we’ll get more than one shot at this. I’ll need all the help I can get with this...and who better than the best natural at chaotic nature magic that I know?” He held his paw out to her.

She hesitated...but then placed her feline paw in his. He smiled, and they entwined their fingers together, both turning to face Tirek. “Whenever you’re ready,” he murmured, pressing close to her. It was to channel both of their magic more easily, not just to feel her close to him! “I’ll lower the shield on your word.”

Though there was a faint blush on her face, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath. When she opened them again, they were blazing with an almost calm determination. “Ready,” she said, only an almost unnoticeable waver in her voice. He could feel her magic start to well up within her, just waiting to be directed.

With a snap of his tail feathers, their shield disappeared. Tirek didn’t notice yet, his focus on the large dragon...but he’d certainly notice soon.

“Together,” Discord said, letting his magic well up. She nodded, watching him for directions. Slowly, he extended the arm holding her paw, taking a step forward. She mirrored his movements.

Both of their feet struck the ground at the same time, and Discord shoved his magic through the motion. Fluttershy quickly followed his example, and their magic twisted around each other—until a large vine with glowing teal spikes emerged from the ground.

“And...forward!” he shouted, thrusting his arm forward, aiming at Lord Tirek. Fluttershy copied his motion, and the vine grew rapidly, shooting towards the centaur.

At his voice, the phony lord turned around...and with a gasp, ducked, just as the thick vine struck above his head, the spikes growing out and sparking with electricity. “Hah!” he declared. “Apparently, the powerful magic of draconequuses has been greatly exaggerated, if you can miss that easily.”

Fluttershy nervously shifted a little closer to Discord. “Actually, it’s draconequui,” he corrected. “And who says that we missed?”

A cracking sound could be heard, echoing through the cathedral. Discord grinned smugly, glancing up at Tirek’s horns. Tirek himself paused, his grin freezing as his gaze shifted up.

Just as he looked up, both of his horns finished cracking. They fell over like great black trees, Cheese just barely dodging in time to avoid being hit in the muzzle. The centaur was just left with stumps again, barely larger than what he had started with before his magic boost.

“S-so what?” Tirek scoffed, rolling his eyes. “My magic will just make them grow back...not that horns matter, anyway.” Indeed, an orange magic was already crawling from the crown, making the broken stumps fill in and grow a few more inches.

“So, was that your big plan?” Tirek continued. “To make me look ridiculous? To hope that would make me give up?”

“Not exactly,” Discord said, the grin not falling from his face. “Just...making it a little easier for the dragon.”

“What do—” Before he could finish, he suddenly disappeared inside a pair of giant, scaly jaws.

Fluttershy and the crowd gasped. “Oh, you weren’t expecting this?” Discord said, raising an eyebrow. “He’s a dragon. The only reason he hadn’t been eaten yet was because he wouldn’t fit in his mouth!”

“Ooh…” Fluttershy said, covering her eyes. Discord bit his lip. He didn’t regret helping defeat Tirek this way, but he probably could have given her more warning…

Cheese threw back his head with a loud gulping sound. He smacked his lips, then coughed. After a few coughs, Grogar’s Crown flew out of his mouth, covered with a few splatters of melted cheese.

The crown bounced off of the floor and rolled away, eventually coming to a stop at Cozy’s hooves. It’s magic sputtered, but slowly dissipated.

“...golly,” the small pegasus said. “Well, I guess if Tierk can’t use this anymore…” She picked up the crown, and for a second, her sweet face morphed into an evil grin.

She suddenly found herself being lifted several feet into the air, squeaking and glancing up to see what was happening. Discord had grabbed and lifted her by the scruff of her neck, and was glaring at her with glowing eyes.

“You think I’m foolish enough to let you sneak off with that and leave a sequel thread where you can come back and stab me in the back?” he said. “I don’t think so.” He held out his claw. “Hand it over, you sour candy of a pony.”

She frowned and clutched tightly to the artifact. He growled a little, flicking his claws against each other, making multicolored sparks. The sparks turned into flaming butterflies and circled around the small pegasus, almost brushing against her skin.

She flinched and dropped the crown into his open claw. He, in turn, dropped her. She fluttered her wings just before hitting the ground, flying off and disappearing into the crowd. “Good riddance,” he said, turning the crown over in his hands. With a plaid handkerchief, he wiped off some of the cheese residue.

“May I…?” Fluttershy said, reaching out for the crown. He nodded and handed it to her, already having a pretty good idea about what she had in mind.

She frowned and stared at the crown for awhile...and then gave in a small shake. It glowed in her hands, and made a sound that was almost bell-like...and small globes of magic fell out of it, flying through the walls and off into the distance. Some flew to members of the crowd and absorbed into them, the change greeted with cheering, celebrating...and some crying.

Discord stretched out his fingers, feeling the chaos flowing through his veins. His own magic hadn’t been sealed the same way, but...unlocking an ability that should be totally natural, but hadn’t been accessible for a while? He understood exactly what they were feeling.

“That was...a good thing, you did,” he said, glancing over at Fluttershy. “...that’s probably the first time someone hasn’t used that crown to try and exploit someone into doing something for them.”

“...thank you,” she said with a nod. “...um. Since this doesn’t seem to be something someone could use for good…could you help me…?” She turned the crown over in her fingers, closing her eyes. With a bit of work, and an upwelling of magic, a flimsy wooden crest appeared around the old artifact.

“...with pleasure,” he said. With a snap of his fingers, he summoned an enormous golden lock, which he quickly snapped onto the crest. He snapped up a couple more smaller silver locks, clamping down each point along the sides that he could.

Finally, he held a hand out to Fluttershy. She blinked, but still placed her hand in his. He rested their fists against the top of the chest. “Just let me borrow a little magic,” he said. “I can take care of the rest.” She blinked, but nodded and started pushing some of her magic towards him.

He closed his eyes and focused...and slowly, a shimmering purple seal of magic wove itself around the chest. Once it was completely covered, he let go of her hand, tying the magic off like a ribbon.

The chest was now shimmering with protective magic, something that would give any would-be thief a little shock. He smiled and handed the protected chest back to her, dusting off his hands with a smirk. “Well, that takes care of that.” He looked back up at Fluttershy...and his heart was caught in his throat as he stared at her. With her mane down, and her standing in the light of the setting sun...she was so beautiful.

“You’re...amazing,” he said breathlessly, stepping a little closer to her. With everything taken care of, it could just be the two of them, and maybe he could force the words out...though it was impossible to think of what to say. Especially when she made him speechless.

Fluttershy smiled softly at him, her eyes becoming glossy. “You came back,” she said, her voice almost a whisper as it sank in. “You really came back for me.”

“Of course I did!” he said, standing taller. He glanced away and rubbed the back of his neck. “Granted, I had to get some sense knocked into me by a pink puffball pony, but I—”

Before he could say anything else, she had rushed forward and thrown her arms around him, squeezing him tightly. He gaped for a second, stunned, before slowly wrapping his arms around her and holding her close.

She was much taller than her pony form, but still shorter than him...just tall enough that he could rest his chin on top of her head (which he did). She made a noise he guessed was happy, as she responded by snuggling into the fur of his neck, and clumsily wrapping her tail around his. He smiled and squeezed her tail, curling her pink tresses around his fingers and marveling at how soft they felt—almost like velvet, or silk.

“Awww,” he heard the crowd collectively say. He turned slightly to glare at them all, and Fluttershy gave an embarrassed squeak and tried to hide her face in his neck fur (which did nothing to help his own embarrassment). Their audience still smiled serenely at them, seeming to enjoy the show they were getting.

“Psst!” Pinkie hissed loudly, waving and bringing his attention to her. “Go on, Cordy, tell her!” she said in a stage whisper. She made a ‘go on’ motion with her front hooves, sliding a few inches down Cheese’s snout. He raised a front claw and gently pushed her back up to the top of his head.

Discord wanted to protest the nickname, but he let it go and turned to Fluttershy. He swallowed the nervous lump in his throat. “Um, Fluttershy?”

“Y-yes, Discord?” she said, slowly pulling her face away from his neck and looking at him with bright, shining eyes.

For a heartbeat, she was his own world...nothing else mattered. “I love you,” he said, a lovestruck smile spreading across his muzzle. Were his eyes as sparkly as hers? It would have been cliche, but it felt like he had to be expressing this...this feeling with something more than words.

Her eyes seemed to sparkle even more...must have been the pony in her. Or maybe her chaos magic. “I love you, too,” she said, nuzzling into his neck again.

He gently cupped her cheek with his paw, slowly lifting her head. Their eyes locked, and he slowly leaned forward, tapping his nose against hers, his eyebrows tilting inwards. An unspoken question, a request for invitation.

A smile flickered over her muzzle, and she gave the tiniest of nods, leaning forward a little more. He cupped her chin, tilting her muzzle up. Together, they leaned forward, closing the distance between them and pressing their lips together.

Her lips were soft, pressing so shyly against his own calloused ones, and tasted sweet. Not sweet like pure sugar, but like strawberries and honey, or fresh wildflowers...it seemed that she had deep connections with nature, even to this degree. The world around them seemed to melt away at that moment. He felt her smile softly against his own lips, and he smiled back.

They both pulled away for air, and the rest of the world came rushing back. The crowd, especially the few ponies in the back, were still cooing over the two of them. He just rolled his eyes, ignoring them and giving Fluttershy’s paw a reassuring squeeze.

Not even a second after they had pulled away, the golden magic from before started pouring from Fluttershy’s skin again. She gasped, taking a step back and looking at her hands as tendrils of light danced and weaved around her fingers.

Discord’s eyes widened as she was suddenly lifted into the air, the cloud of magic growing even larger than before, even pouring from her eyes and mouth this time. The magic swirled around her, whispering something as they hissed through the air.

“Until you find true love’s kiss, and then take love’s true form,” it said in a voice that sounded like a mix between Fluttershy’s and...another he didn’t recognize. Female, but hissing and echoey...he ignored the mystery, instead focusing on what was happening to Fluttershy.

Each of her limbs flared with golden light, the words still echoing in the air. With one final flash, the cloud of magic flared outward, filling the whole room before fading away. She drifted back to the ground, still an unchanged lovely draconequus.

He stepped closer, offering a hand to help her up. Her eyes fluttered open, and she took his head. She looked around in confusion as she got back to her feet.

“T-the curse...it’s broken,” she said slowly.

“Whatever caused you to keep transforming, day and night? That’s great!” he said. She looked down at herself, not looking as excited as he would have been if a curse on him had been broken. “...isn’t it?” he said, tilting his head in confusion.

“Yes, it is, but...I don’t understand,” she said softly, staring down at her mismatched paws. “I’m supposed to be beautiful…”

He reached out and gently caressed her cheek, then cupped her chin and lifted it up to look her in the eyes. “You are beautiful,” he said in the most reassuring and sincere voice he could use...which he found coming surprisingly easy to him.

She stared at him for a few moments. Tears brimmed in the corner of her eyes, and she leaned into his touch as a soft smile spread across her muzzle. “Thank you…” she said in a whisper.

A loud honking sound made the two of them flinch. Looking to their right, they saw both Pinkie and Cheese holding handkerchiefs, dabbing at their eyes. “I just love happy endings,” Pinkie sobbed, loudly blowing her nose again.

“As do I!” Cheese said. The three of them stared wide-eyed at him, jaws dropping. “I’ve always looked forward to this day—though I was sure I’d never be able to see it with my own eyes! Oh, this is wonderful, and now Pinkie and I can throw the best party ever for the two of you.”

“...you can talk?” Discord finally managed to say. “Why didn’t you speak up when, oh, I don’t know...any one of the dozen knights trying to rescue the princess tried to kill you?”

“Oh, I wish,” the large dragon said, sniffing and dabbing at his eyes with the too-small handkerchief. “But, well...when you’re chosen to act as the guard-dragon of a princess with a curse, well...no one really wants you to be able to blab about what the curse is, exactly.”

“Ooh, I get it!” Pinkie said suddenly. “You were magically made mute, but when Fluttershy’s curse was broken, you wouldn’t need to stay silent anymore...so that broke your curse, too!”

“Exactly right!” Cheese said. “Though I had feared I wouldn’t be able to speak again...considering that her curse being broken would more than likely come after her rescue and my slaying…”

“...well, I’m very glad that you can speak again!” Fluttershy said, smiling. Cheese smiled back. “...I think this really is a happy ending, isn’t it? For everyone.”

“Everyone who deserves it,” Discord said, wrapping his tail around her waist. She jumped a little, but smiled and leaned against his side. “But, speaking of happy endings…”

He reached up and began to twirl a strand of her mane around his claw. He cupped her chin in his claw and tilted it towards himself, leaning closer. She smiled and leaned in closer, puckering her lips, slowly closing her eyes.

He started to lean in for the kiss...but noticed that Pinkie, Cheese, and the rest of the audience were all leaning forward, watching them expectantly. With a roll of his eyes, he snapped his fingers, creating floating curtains around the two of them.

With a little more privacy, he leaned in and locked his lips with hers. This kiss lasted a little longer, but was no less exciting. Nothing else seemed to matter but her, and it felt like fireworks were going off in his chest...

Their lips slowly separated, and they looked lovingly at each other. Colorful fireworks burst behind them, spawned by his magic. A cheer erupted from around them, and Discord spared a small glance at the gathered crowd.

They were all gathered in his dimension, though the crowd was all split between larger islands, separate from them. Fluttershy had insisted that they invite at least a few ponies, and Pinkie had managed to round up plenty of friends when she was sending out the invitations...as did Cheese, surprisingly.

His ear swiveled towards a sniffing sound. His best mare had apparently been moved to tears by the ceremony...again. “Again, Pinkie?” he said with a playful roll of his eyes.

“I can’t help it!” she said, blowing her nose. She was wearing a vibrant orange-and-yellow dress, which matched Cheese’s large bowtie. “You two are so...so beautiful together!”

A louder noise from just behind Fluttershy made him roll his eyes again. Great. Now Cheese was crying, too. Fluttershy giggled, almost a little nervously, her tail slowly entwining around his.

The officiant cleared her throat. They both turned to the purple alicorn—one who looked particularly young, but claimed to be the rightful ruler of the land Duloc was capital of. The rest of the ponies seemed to agree, and with Tirek gone, no one really had any protests. Discord wasn’t sure about having a pony officiant, but Fluttershy insisted that having someone with legal and royal standing perform the ceremony would be for the best.

“I believe that’s the cue to shift from ceremony to reception,” the alicorn—Twilight said. “Unless you’re going to surprise me by doing something different?”

“Hmm…” Discord said, stroking his beard and pretending to think about it. Fluttershy nudged his side, and he chuckled. “No, I think I’ll pass this time,” he said with a grin.

Twilight sighed, but still smiled at the two of them. Pinkie and Cheese both grinned widely, their eyes sparkling.

“Time to kick off the party?” Pinkie said.

“You two will love it, we’ve been planning it all month!” Cheese added. They both leaned forward in unison, their smiles growing even wider and eyes even more sparkly.

Discord and Fluttershy smiled at each other, then turned and nodded at the two excited party planners. “Woo!” Pinkie cheered, whipping out her party cannon. “Let’s party!”

She fired a burst of confetti high into the air, then leapt off the island and began to paddle towards the island Discord had agreed to let her use. Cheese took off and flew after her, stopping and helping some of the guests make their way in the same direction. Twilight’s wings unfurled as she took off after them, carrying her old mirror behind with her magic...apparently, she was still working on getting her curse bond to it completely broken. Fortunately, a small purple dragon bobbed alongside her, ready to help her carry it.

Fluttershy took a step towards the edge, her wings spreading out. But before she could start to fly, Discord grabbed her wrist. She froze in place, turning to look over her shoulder at him.

“Knowing Pinkie, this party will go on for hours,” he said, stepping closer and wrapping his tail around hers. Already, the DJ was spinning records and ponies were dancing and laughing. “As fun as that sounds, and as delicious as those cake-and-ice cream parfaits look...I’d like to indulge myself by sharing a...brief moment with you.”

She looked hesitant for a moment, considering it, but after a few moments turned to him with a soft smile on her face. His heart started thumping in his chest, his ears wriggling. She chose him, even for just a few minutes!

She leaned up to peck his nose, then his cheek, giggles bubbling in the back of her throat. A happy, wobbly smile spread across his muzzle. He never imagined life could be so wonderful.

“Have I told you,” he whispered into her ear. “That you’re the most beautiful creature I’ve ever seen, with the kindest heart in any land?”

Her wonderful teal eyes became teary, and her bottom lip wobbled...just as it seemed to any time he complimented her appearance. “Y-you have,” she managed to say with a shaky smile. “It’s just...hard to believe sometimes.”

He caressed her cheek, using his thumb to brush away any possible tears. “Well, I’m going to keep telling you until it gets easier to believe.” He gently kissed the nape of her neck, cupping his claws under her chin.

He gently tilted her chin up and pressed his lips against hers. She slowly returned the pressure of the kiss, giving his tail a very light squeeze. Soon, Pinkie and Cheese would come after them (couldn’t have a reception they had planned all month without the bride and groom!), and they would find themselves caught up with dancing, socializing, and stuffing their faces with desserts. After that, he would whisk his bride away, showing her as many amazing places he could find on their honeymoon.

But before all that, they had this moment, with just the two of them. They slowly pulled apart from the kiss for air. Fluttershy’s eyes were sparkling. “I love you, Discord,” she said.

A knot formed in his throat, his eyes threatening to tear up. “I...I love you, too,” he managed to say, wrapping his arms around her.

She lightly pressed her lips against his, and his whole body felt light and airy. Yes, indeed...life had turned out better than he could have ever imagined. With Fluttershy by his side, loving him and accepting his love, he felt like he could do anything.

And with their magic and their love, ‘anything’ could be very possible.