what do you expect when you let your toddler dye your hair

by a touch of sparkles

Rating: everyone
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, King Sombra, Radiant Hope
Length: 3423

Sombra decides that letting his toddler choose what colour to dye his hair is a completely and utterly sane idea

the problem of being an umbrum is that your hair can't be cut. it can, but it grows back by the next day making it obsolete. Sombra has managed to raise the rest of the Umbrum so they were able to offer him ideas on what to do with it. despite going from tribes to an empire they kept many things such as the traditional braids they put their hair in, many of which were suggested to Sombra. along with the copious amount of gems and metal beads that can be woven in. he would ask his mother but her styles take to long to do. so he gets an idea off of his daughter, even if he was forced into it. except she's a toddler. so nothing could go wrong...unless you have a fragile masculinity. which thankfully Sombra doesn't.

Published 2021-09-06 18:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-09-06 18:30:01 UTC

the dyeing of my hair was a choice I shouldn’t have given to a toddler

If there was one thing Sombra was always proud of, it was his appearance. It had changed throughout his life of course, but in terms of dress it had changed rather recently. He had raised the Umbrum finally after a ridiculously long time and created a slowly growing empire deep in the uncharted areas of the North. He had swapped out the iron armour for gold and silver, because its fabulous. His crown had become far more ornate and was decked with rubies and emeralds. All of these changes were partly due to his mother, whom he could finally reunite with, who was rather flamboyant.

However as he grew one thing became more and more of a problem. His mane. Being an umbrum he had the godawful magical gene that his hair would regrow completely within twenty-four hours of being cut. This would be fine is you only lived for eighty or so years like most ponies. But Umbrums have a five-thousand-year life span. So it could become incredibly long by the time you were an elder. Considering Sombra was only one thousand six hundred and thirty-three years old and it was hanging over his shoulders he had growing concern on how long it’s going to get, let alone what to do with it. But if there were some things he was grateful for it would be that Umbrum hair floated (until it gets incredibly long unfortunately) and that his beard wasn’t being as ridiculous.

So here was Sombra just looking at himself in the mirror. Slowly braiding his main in various Umbrum styles and weaving in the beads. He heard the bedroom door open and looked behind him in the mirror to see his wife Radiant Hope. On her back was their youngest foal Etéra.

“You are coming for breakfast right?” She asked him. She was by his side now and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. He was up here for quite some time and he hadn’t realised it was nearly nine o’clock.

“I still have no clue what to do with all of this. I miss when it was only a few inches long” Sombra lamented as he undid one of the braids that he didn’t find good enough.

“Why don’t you ask your mother? She would know something” Hope replied with a smile, which being as beautiful as it was, made him do so.

“You are kidding me. I would be in her room for an unimaginable number of hours as she puts far too many styles in and takes them out promptly as she doesn’t like it or has a different idea”

“Why don’t you dye it?” it was the adorable voice of little Etéra who had suggested it. Sombra looked back at his daughter. She was a pony sized foal. In other words incredibly small for Umbrums. She inherited his dark fur and magic. It was unknown if her eyes would be red or blue, she had inherited the umbrum gene where foals have green eyes and they change in puberty. Her hair though was a stripy mix of blue and black, but it floated and assumably grew like his.

“You could always cut it off if you don’t like it” Hope told him when he pulled a rather strange face at the idea. She was right though. All he had to do was shave it off and by the morning it would have mostly grown back.

“I suppose so. But I don’t think many colours would work well on me” Sombra stated as he imagined himself with the odd coloured hair he had seen on some ponies. Although he couldn’t deny the fact that he had seen some Umbrum experimenting with their hair in colourful ways.

“Oh I’m sure Etéra’s got that sorted for you. Haven’t you sweetie?”

“mmhm”

The next day came around and Sombra was moderately concerned when Hope shoved him into the bathroom and chucked a bottle of hair bleach at him. So it was safe to say he was concerned about what colour his daughter has picked. But as far as he knew, it was common for dark hair to be bleached before-hoof. So he didn’t know what he was expecting really.

“May I asked what colour she’s chosen?” he asked with mild to moderate concern.

“She wants it to be a surprise. She also wants to do it herself. Although I didn’t want her touching the bleach, just promise me you won’t let her hurt herself when she uses the dye” Hope told him as she started to prepare the bleach and his hair.

“You clearly forget the time someone with a grudge against half-breeds tried to drop a chandelier on Mags and I pushed her out of the way and nearly ended up paralysed for it. You think I wouldn’t stop Etéra hurting herself with the dye?” it was a gruesome memory to remember but it certainly said something about his style of being a father.

“First of all that injury was a pain in the rump to fix even with healing magic, second maybe turn to shadow next time so it didn’t hurt you, third I know you wouldn’t let her get hurt.” It would sound quite sarcastic if she wasn’t partly laughing and punching him lightly in the shoulder.

And so Hope began to bleach his hair. Apparently they only bought enough for his mane and maybe his beard. She still hadn’t let up what colour it was though. They had to open one of the castle windows halfway through so they didn’t burn their nose hairs out, along with their eyes (even if it didn’t do much the windows are tiny.) But eventually after an excruciatingly tingly and nose burning process Sombra was left with a strange orange yellow which to be fair, didn’t look the worst, but it was certainly off putting to look at.

“Just be glad it didn’t fry. Although to be fair that wouldn’t be so bad for you” Hope joked as they looked in the bathroom mirror. Sombra could tell she was holding back a laugh.

“Is the colour its going any worse than this?” he asked.

“Depends how fragile your masculinity is”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh nothing”

Once again Sombra was walking back into his bathroom, this time Etéra was on his back. She was clutching a few bottles of premixed hair dye in her magic, refusing to let him see them. Sombra was somewhat nervous considering everyone but him had been told what colour his hair would be. Just put it his bodyguards were telling him just how great it’s going to look on him and that he should really consider keeping it that colour just for his daughter.

As he sat down on the floor once again only a few days later, Etéra hopped of his back and onto the floor next to him. She reared up and placed her hooves onto his neck, while using her magic to squeeze the contents of the bottle onto the roots of his mane. She still refused to show him the bottle.

“At least give me a hint?” he asked, Sombra just really needed to prepare himself for what he’s going to see when he dries his hair off.

“Nope” Etéra merrily said as she smushed more dye into his dirty blond mane. Apparently Hope had told her what to do but being a foal she was messy with it.

“Just a little hint?”

“Nope” Etéra kept refusing as she worked down his mane. Little hoof prints were painted on the floor when she landed back on all fours. As of which gave Sombra his first hint. They were a pale pink.

Oh Tartarus.

He had a somewhat bad feeling that he was going somewhere in the shades of red and pink. And considering this was his six-year-old daughter. He was leaning more towards the pink side. He didn’t question it. After all he did ask for it letting his daughter choose. Although he was sure his older kids wouldn’t do anything to different. He simply waited as Etéra slowly worked the pink down his mane, even trying to catch and dye the unstable bits of shadow she was convinced was his hair. He kept a good eye on her though. At one point he whipped a bit off that fell a little too close to her eye.

“Finished!” Etéra said with glee as she looked at her work. Her little cloven hooves were covered in dye. Sombra stood up and moved over to the mirror. He flipped his hair over and noticed a small patch buy the roots that was uncoloured.

“You missed a bit Te” Sombra said as he pointed to the missed patch. She pulled his head down by grasping his mane in magic, then proceeding to smush some more dye in. then the wait for it to set in started. the shadow struggled to keep his hair afloat. eventually the time ended and it was time to wash it out.

“I’m going to wash this out. And you can wash those hooves off before you put hoof prints everywhere” Sombra told her as he started to run the shower. As Sombra slowly walked over his daughter trotted over and leapt into the tub. She splashed around in the shallow water with all the foalhood innocence she had (even if adults do indulge in splashing, it was still very childish the way she did it). Sombra laughed as he stepped in and helped her wash of the remaining dye that she smeared on her face.

“Now go dry of. I’ll be out in a bit” Etéra hopped out of the tub as she trotted out of the bathroom. There was a big grin on her face, Sombra new it was to do with his hair.

He began to scrub the dye out of his hair. His suspicions of the shade of colour were settled when he saw the water come of an almost fluorescent pink.

Calm down. you are slightly colour blind.

Sombra slowly came to the realisation that the dye was certainly in the very bright pink range. He tried to calm himself from whatever he was feeling. A strange mix of surprise and amusement. He honestly couldn’t wait to see it.

I am absolutely fabulous

The living quarters of the emperor and empress were certainly a comfortable place to sit and wait. In it currently was Empress Hope, Rabia (Sombra’s mother) and Etéra.

“Etéra please calm down. I know your excited but please just sit down” Hope asked her daughter who was practically bouncing of the walls with excitement. Right know she was doing a little dance on the coffee table.

“Why don’t you give your best grandma a hug?” Rabia knew it would calm her down, until of course her dad walked in. Etéra leapt into her grandmother’s forelegs and almost completely relaxed until the door opens. And there stood was one of the most amazing things the three of them had ever seen.

There stood Sombra, with a flowing mass of hot pink hair, somehow even the shadow had been dyed, accompanied by a very amused smile.

“Dad!” Etéra was the first to react. Launching out of her grandmothers embrace and galloped towards her father with an ear-to-ear smile. It was safe to say she was proud of her work, even if it was a little patchy in places.

“Oh wow Sombra that’s amazing on you” Hope complimented her husband, instantly taking a liking to the colour.

“I’m honestly not against it… don’t laugh at me mother” Sombra commented, then he noticed his mother holding back a laugh.

“I’m sorry. Is just that I can imagine your father would be on the ground rolling right know.” She blurted out as she laughed at the thought, it’s a shame it was tainted by death, but it was certainly something that would happen.

“Ok but seriously, does it look good?”

“It’s pink! Why wouldn’t it” Etéra said in full confidence of her decision. Hope and Rabia agreed with the toddler. And to be fair, Sombra did have the ability to pull most things of (like that time Hope but him in stockings, which he rocked with pure pride, even if they did rip).

“Just kidding, I know it looks good. Te, do you know where the brother and sister are? I think they would like to see wouldn’t they” he didn’t get a response from her, but he assumed they would be down by the barracks. After all magnolia is the army general.

“You better put that armour and crown on. I want to see the full outfit and it better work or I will change it” Rabia instructed him, but she got a nasty glare from Etéra from the threat of destroying her hard work. She quickly altered her words.

“Maybe you can just keep it for a few days if it doesn’t work” she gave a nervous chuckle. Sombra turned back to put his armour and crown on, which were displayed on a mannequin which stopped it being damaged. Fortunately the gold did somewhat suit the pink, although the rich yellow was definitely competing with it.

He set of to find his other two children. Magnolia was his oldest, Platino was his middle. They were both drastically different in appearance from each other. Magnolia had inherited her mother’s purplish fur and his eyes and mane. She also inherited Umbrum characteristics such as the sharp teeth and back claws, however she didn’t get the height. Platino was almost completely opposite. He was almost the exact same as his younger sister, but his mane was solid blue and he inherited the skin stones from his mother’s crystal genes. He had his father’s height, which ticked Magnolia off as she was older but significantly smaller, despite him only being a teenager.

He found them when he rounded a corner and saw them walking together, they were most likely already coming to see him. The second he made eye contact with them was when Magnolia came out with one of her best quotes.

“oh my North your as gay as Platino now!”

“Sister!”

“I saw the chance and I took it. you can’t argue with me!” the short exchange causes the small chunk of the family to burst out laughing, except for one who wasn’t quite used to his sister’s new quips after he came out.

“You know when Te said hot pink I wasn’t quite expecting that hot of pink dad” Magnolia said as she swirled his mane around in her hoof.

“Although it is a little patchy” she commented on the chunk of mane that was slightly darker in places.

“Well a six-year-old isn’t going to be good at everything” Platino said with heavy sarcasm.

“Watch what you say about your sister Pea’s” Sombra told off his son, he wasn’t quite used to dealing with a teenager phase yet. He was in prison for all of Magnolia’s so his experience was rather limited. But he should be fine by the time it comes to Etéra’s in another five hundred years just after Platino’s.

“Can you stop calling me that. Also don’t you have a meeting with the elements of harmony in like three days or something?” Sombra had forgotten about that. It just meant he would have to cut it all of the day before so it would be back to normal by the next day. But at least he got to enjoy for a few days.

He definitely wasn’t sad to shave it all off.

a rainbow of inspiration

Sombra woke up the day after shaving his mane and it had almost fully grown back in its usually ebony. There were still some pink strands stuck in his fur. He didn’t expect to miss it so much. But it was fun while it lasted. He stretched out his legs as he started to neaten his fur and hair. He had a long day today. He didn’t mind the company of the elements, even if they did blast him to pieces multiple times. But they were better than some of the nobles he had to deal with in court.

Having and interest in chemistry and science in general (which is what helped him free the umbrum) he got on well with Twilight. They shared a common interest in books to and he was more than expecting another book trade later today.

Rarity was the reason he was paying so much attention to how he looked, especially with polishing his armour. She was like a mini Rabia but white and purple.

Fluttershy was still scared to the feather tips of him for valid reasons but he literally hadn’t started any wars so he just assumed it was like her. Although she did lead to him meeting discord, who did more than a good enough job of keeping Etéra entertained through previous meetings.

Rainbow Dash was already popular in the Umbrum empire because she put some long-needed colour in the sky, even if it didn’t last more than a day it was still greatly appreciated. However the hell she didn’t freeze up there.

Apple Jack had offered to extend export of apples to the empire as of which one bite out of one and a gulp of cider was more than enough convincing. He had met the rest of the Apple family briefly and quite enjoyed their company. Which being somewhat introverted was a nice change.

Pinkie just scared the life out of him. The fact that she can handle chaos magic as an earth pony is what set of that feeling. Along with just spontaneously existing confetti cannons.

Spike was just there. Although there was a mild saltiness Sombra held against him.

When the hour came he sat on his throne waiting for the saviours of Equestria to step into his castle. The castle must have been strange to them when they first came around. It wasn’t tall and fantasy-esc like theirs. Instead it was much more squat and fort like which helped it not collapse in the northern winds. Even if they were in the eye of the north where storms generally didn’t touch. There was still the occasional gale force wind that would take down a castle like Canterlot.

The doors to his throne room opened and the group of chipper ponies appeared before him yet again.

“Good morni- er. What time is it?” Twilight asked. She would usually know but polar days and nights really threw that ability of skew.

“Eight thirty. So yes, good morning” Sombra greeted her as he stepped of his throne and made his way over. The group was still on rocky terms with him, but each visit only smoothed the ground.

“So this meeting. What was it about I got completely distracted this week and forgot” he didn’t mention the pink hair. Although if they had walked through town they would have seen the newspapers.

“Celestia was supposed to come check on you but she couldn’t fit it into her schedule so she sent us instead. I believe I mentioned that in the letter” Twilight re-informed him.

“By distracted ah assume yah mean the hot pink hair in the news” It was Apple jack who commented on his little “distraction” from his work.

“Speaking of pink. I made strawberry meringues and cherry cakes!” of course Pinkie had bought something sweet. Sombra really didn’t know why he was surprised. He sent one of his guards of to go get his family. If he was caught eating treats without them he would be murdered in his sleep.

He led them off into a side room where he held most of his smaller meetings. The small windows gave a nice view of his Empire. As they were sitting down and Pinkie was overly cheerily laying out the treats his kids and wife entered the room. Hope would stay but he knew his kids would leave after taking their fix, this stuff bored them. Etéra however always wanted to stay and play with the brightly coloured ponies that were rare in this empire. She started to take great interest in Rainbow dashes mane and tail. But who wouldn’t.

“I know. It’s awesome right. Having a rainbow mane. Lots of colours are common but perfect rainbows, not so much!” there was a slight pause.

“*gasp* DAD!”