Princesa Celestia De La Manecha

by Crow T. Robot

Rating: everyone
Tags: Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Adventure, Derpy Hooves, Princess Celestia
Length: 2187

A white alicorn reads so many fantasy books, she starts believing she is a princess and goes mad.

Gotta show my Spain pride every once in a while, you know?

I'm probably going to be alternating this and The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of.

Published 2012-09-09 20:44:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-09 20:44:01 UTC

Chapter 1: The Origins Of Princesa Celestia

In the dusty plains of La Manecha, in a village whose name I care not to remember, there lived an alicorn. This particular alicorn was of about the age of 60, but appeared to be no older then 20. All beings have their particular obsessions, and our alicorn’s obsession was of fantasy novels. You know- dragons and princesses, chaos gods and hydras and all that gobbledygook. Everyone loves a good story, but the alicorn couldn’t get enough of them. She had spent quite a few years and quite a large amount of money collecting these books.

Not that our alicorn was a rich mare who could afford to lie around reading all day. No, she worked as a plain hilgado in the fields; she was richer then a peasant but poorer then a noble. Her home was spacious enough but plain, certainly a far cry from her stories of rich ivory towers and brave princesses fighting wrongs. She was not alone in her field work as she shared her home with a sister of 40 and a nephew of 20. Despite her age, our alicorn was an early riser, a quick runner and a keen hunter…or at least she was until she discovered the stories I mentioned. The trouble was that when she finished one story, she would just go on to another and another and another still, her thirst for fantasy never truly being quenched. She would frequently talk with her friends in the town- the village librarian and the local dressmaker, about which character was more powerful or whom would be the victor in a fight. They chuckled behind her back about this but the truth of the matter is that our alicorn began to believe that these stories were completely real.

Finally, her mind drying up from countless stories being read, she went completely crazy.
One morning, the alicorn awoke in her armchair and said "Right, I've decided. I'm going to be a princess."
"A what?!" said her eavesdropping nephew, concerned about the hours that his aunt was spending reading by herself in her private study.
"Do you know nothing, my dear child? I wish to be a great ruler, fighting hydras and helping my citizens."
"But Auntie!" the nephew gasped. "There are no such things as hydras and who are these citizens that need helping?"
Ignoring him, the alicorn flew up to her attic, where, after a few moments of searching she found a rusty crown and breastplate that her nephew had purchased as a trinket from a marketplace. Our mare scrubbed and she scrubbed, but they still ended up looked like old saucepans. This did not concern the alicorn, who was pleased by her handiwork and levitated the crown to her head and the breastplate to her chest.

“And now, I shall need a name for myself. I shall have to pick one that is appropriately regal.” she announced to her family. For about a week, the alicorn muttered to herself, suggesting and rejecting various names before deciding upon “Princesa Celestia”. That is "Princess Of The Sun". Only the daughters of queens were called princesses, but our alicorn was too mad to care. With this she decided to add the surname “De La Manecha”, so anyone could know where this Celestia came from, I suppose.

“And now, I must help my citizens in need!” Celestia crowed in triumph.
“But do you HAVE any citizens?! I don’t think you do.” The nephew said, trying to get his aunt to see sense.
“Nonsense. All of the world are my citizens and it is my duty to go out and help them.”
“But in what way, auntie, WHAT WAY?!”
“Simple, my child. I must right wrongs and help those who are weak or oppressed. That is what the princesses in my stories have done.”

While the two of them were arguing, the alicorn’s sister took her books to the backyard and burnt them in a small bonfire.
“EVIL THINGS!” The sister cried as she stared at the paper burning and turning into ash. “The poor mare would still have her wits about her had she not opened your devil pages!” Having finished disposing of the source of the problem, she turned and went inside to see what the fuss was about.

“I am terribly sorry, my dear boy, but I cannot stay in this home any longer. For the first time in my life, I am seeing clearly. It is adventure I seek. Do not try and hold me back, my friends! I am off to seek my destiny!” And with that, Princesa Celestia was off, bursting through the front door, as her sister and nephew stood there, mouths agape as they began wondering what would happen to her.

The alicorn had just gotten to the edge of her village when a horrifying thought entered her mind- she was a princess who hadn’t been crowned.
“What an oversight!” she thought to herself. “I cannot call myself a true princess for then I would be a fraud. I’ve got it! I shall call myself an apprentice princess until I can find someone who can put such responsibility on me.”

She flew around and trotted for a while, looking for someone to assist but nothing of note had occurred. As the sun went down, she began to get tired and noticed an inn a little way down the road. “Perhaps the owner of that castle would take me in.” she said.

The inn was little more then a shack for weary travelers to spend a night or two but to Princesa Celestia, it was an enormous castle, towers stretching as far as the eye could see. As she approached the inn, she noticed two mares sitting outside and idly talking to each other about their day. But to Celestia, they were beautiful suitors there to greet her.

“Good evening, my fair maidens. I am Princesa Celestia de La Manecha. As you can tell by my appearance and title, I am a princess…or at least in training. I have arrived here seeking shelter and I hope that I would get a treatment fitting of my status.” After a brief pause, the two mares burst out into laughter which angered Celestia.

“What is with this laughter?! The arrival of a princess, even if she is an unofficial one demands a proper greeting!” Princesa Celestia fumed. Things could have ended very badly for the two mares, was it not for at that very moment, a street musician was wandering by, playing his trumpet. To the madness of Celestia, the off-key noodling of the musician was a chorus of 24 horns, all playing in perfect union.
“AH! That is much better, my dears! I am terribly sorry for my outburst at you but now I am confident that this lovely home shall have all the right accommodations!”

“What’s all this about accommodations?!” Came a voice from inside. “If it’s a room you want, we’re all out of luck. So you should just…”
The owner of the inn, a light blue pegasus with a mane of rainbow goggled at the sight of the alicorn, standing tall and proud wearing rusted metal on her body.

“Good evening. I was hoping that you would be so humble as to take my presence upon this night.” Celestia said warmly.
The innkeeper smirked at this. It just so happened that this pegasus fancied herself as a bit of a prankster and decided to have some fun at the alicorn’s expense.
“Why, we would be delighted to have you here, fair and noble princess. Please, do come in and I sincerely hope that you are comfortable for the evening.” She said, unable to stop giggling at the sight of the alicorn.
“You are most kind, my subject. Tell me, is there a chapel nearby?” Celestia responded, ignoring her snickering.
“A chapel? For whatever reason would you need a chapel for?!”
“To be perfectly honest…I’m not a real Princess yet. But I would be most kind if someone could bestow that honour upon me.”
“If you could like…I could do so, my lady. I may look like an innkeeper but I am actually the Queen Of Cloudsdale!” The rainbow-maned innkeeper lied as a plan began entering her mind. After a short supper of daisies and tack bread, the alicorn start demanding that she be given some task to prove her worth as a princess. Finally, the innkeeper, frustrated with her constant begging, decided to have some more fun with her.
“Do you really wish to be crowned, dear guest? Then I have a challenge for you. Prove your worth by defending a magic well I have outside. Only then shall you be a princess.”

Celestia giddily agreed to this and ran outside to complete her duty, although there was no such ‘magic well’, merely a fountain where thirsty visitors would come and refresh themselves. After a short while, a customer came to partake in the water, only to be confronted with a large horn to his face.

“HALT. I, Princesa Celestia have been assigned with the task of defending this well. You must leave immediately.” She said coldly.
“But I want a drink. And it’s a fountain, you fool, not a well. Get out of my way!” The pony said before being rapped on the head and knocked unconscious. She leviated him with her horn and threw him into a nearby bale of hay.
“This is much easier then I expected! I shall be coroneted in no time!” Celestia said excitingly as the innkeeper stepped out.
“Excuse me.”
“Greeting, my liege! I am doing a fine job with the vigil!”
“…I’m sure you are. Now onto business, how do you intend to pay for my hospitality for the night?”
“Pay?” A confused expression appeared on Celestia’s face. “In all of the books I have read, there has never been any mention of princesses having to pay for goods or services. They are given carte blanche, as a gift for their noble deeds.”

“Money talks and princesses can walk!” The innkeeper spat back. “I’ll let you stay for the night, but don’t expect any breakfast. Get on with your vigil.”
The alicorn nodded to the innkeeper who went inside, muttering about the fact that this kook was worth more trouble then she thought.

2 minutes later, yet another pony came to refresh herself, but this time, Celestia gave no warning, sticking her horn in the other pony’s face who managed to scream out: “Help me.” A group of ponies came to the aid of the yellow one, tossing stones at Celestia who surprisingly deflected them with some skill. “These enemies are using projectiles on me. But my horn can fend them off!” She said to herself.

Eventually, the noise got so unbearable that the innkeeper stepped out to see what the matter was. She was alarmed to see Princesa Celestia fending off her other customers. Fearing retribution, she took the other ponies aside to talk to them.
“She’s as mad as a hatter. No jury in the world would convict on her insanity alone! Let me settle this.” By now, the innkeeper was quite upset at her little joke having backfired on her and she simply wished to be rid of this lunatic.

“My dear mare, I do hope that those violent thugs weren’t too hard on you.” She said, changing her demeanor in the blink of an eye.
“No, they were no trouble at all for me!” Celestia said as she picked herself up off the ground, where she was lying due to being overwhelmed by the stones.
“I do believe it is time for your coronation now.”
“REALLY?! But what of the chapel?”
“Forget the chapel, this place of battle is good a place as any to conduct the ceremony! Kneel, dear pony.”
Celestia did as she was told and kneeled for the innkeeper.
“Are you, Princesa Celestia, truly prepared to fufill your duty as a princess?”
“I am!”
“I HEREBY DECLARE YOU AN OFFICAL PRINCESS. MAY YOUR ADVENTURING BE TO YOUR LIKING, PRINCESA CELESTIA DE LA MANECHA AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU.” The innkeeper loudly declared as she slammed Celestia’s crown back on her head.
“Thank you, my queen! I will gladly repay you for your services to me one day.”
“Forget the payment! You are a free mare! GO! COMPLETE YOUR DUTY AS A PRINCESS!"
Princesa Celestia squealed with happiness as she ran off into the night.

"Well, that's the last we'll be seeing of her!" The innkeeper said to the ponies who were staring at Celestia dumbfounded.

Meanwhile, Celestia had decided to turn around and go back to her village where she could possibly find a royal assistant but the hour was too late for her. Celestia decided to sleep in the fields that night. As created a makeshift bed out of grass, she gazed at the many stars and began to sing
"To dream the impossible dream...To fight the unbeatable foe..."

She sang loud and clear unti she fell asleep, dreaming of her soon-coming adventures.