Celestia and How the Little Horsey Piece Moves

by hamster wizard

Rating: everyone
Tags: Princess Celestia, Slice of Life, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 2693

A short life lesson with Celestia and chess

"Twilight, let me tell you something. Life isn't about being ready for every single possible situation. You can only think so far ahead, and you can't go through life fully prepared for whatever it may throw at you. It's impossible to know everything, you just need to be good enough at faking it to get things done."

Cover art is from that one anime with the really confusing chess matches.

Published 2021-09-10 14:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-09-10 14:50:00 UTC

The Canterlot Gambit

It was a peaceful night. Princess Celestia sat in her study, relaxing by a roaring fire with a fascinating novel and a steaming cup of tea. At times like these, when the world was at peace, the princess could almost forget about the troubles of her past, and the troubles of tomorrow, and enjoy the world as it was.

Eventually, she heard a shuffling near the door, and closer her book with a small sigh. Turning to face the door, she was met with a small purple unicorn filly, cautiously trying to shut the door without making a sound.

“Trouble sleeping, my faithful student?” Celestia asked with a thin smile on her lips. The filly nodded and walked over to Celestia’s seat, dragging a worn doll at her side. She approached, squeezing into the armchair beside the princess. She leaned her head on Celestia’s side and said quetly, “I had a bad dream.”

Twilight Sprakle had only been Celestia’s student for a few short months, but in that time she had grown quite dependent on the princess, and indeed, Celestia found a certain attachment to the bright eyed, inquisitive filly.

Celestia chuckled, “Don’t fret Twilight, dreams may only hurt us if we let them.” Seeing Twilight shirk away from her slightly, she took a different approach, “If you feel comfortable, would you like to tell me about your dream?”

Twilight held her doll tighter and asked, “Will you promise you won’t laugh?”

“Of course.”

Twilight pouted a bit, “You need to say it.”

Celestia chuckled, “I promise I won’t laugh.”

“All right. Well, I had a dream that I had a really important test I had to take, but when I was about to take it, I realized that I didn’t go to any of the lessons, or study, and then the teacher made fun of me, and all the other kids were laughing just like that time I called Ms. Mercury mom.”

Celestia couldn't help but smile, “Twilight, if it makes you feel better, you are without a doubt the most responsible student I know. You can put the idea of such a thing happening out of your mind at once.”

Twilight looked at Celestia sheepishly, “Do you really mean that?”

“Of course. Now, what will it take to help you get back to sleep?”

“Maybe if I could just stay here? Just for a little while.”

“You are welcome to stay as long as you like my student.” Celestia set her book down and took a sip of her tea before continuing, “Now, is there anything I can do for you? I’d offer to read something for you, but I’m afraid this one may make it more difficult for you to rest, perhaps...” Celestia glanced around her study, going over the bookshelves as she trailed off.

“Princess, if it’s not too much trouble, could we play a game of chess?” Twilight asked pointing to a chessboard set up toward the edge of the room, resting atop a dresser.

“Have you played before, Twilight?”

“Yes! Me and dad used to play all the time, I wasn’t ever as good as he was though.”

Celestia brought the board over, setting it on a low coffee table, and spun it so the white side was facing Twilight. She happily took the first move, watching her mentor with awe as Celestia pondered her first move.

“Princess?”

“Yes Twilight?”

Twilight looked away slightly, “I was just thinking, you said I’m a responsible student, but what about the stuff I can’t prepare for? Like there’s going to be a lot of times where I’m not taking tests, or doing projects. What if I have to do something, but I really don’t know what to do?”

Celestia poked a pawn and watched it rock back in place as she pondered Twilight’s question, “Hm, an excellent question my faithful student. It’s true, you can’t prepare for every possible situation. You can try of course, but time and experience has proven to me that you’re better off not obsessing over such things.”

“But, what do I do when I need to do something, but I’m not ready?”

Celestia chuckled, “Well, there are simply going to be times when you need to make things up as you go along.”

Celestia found herself in a foul mood. Winter had been harsh on Equestria, with several areas running short on food and supplies. She’s fought hard to increase trade to compensate, however her allies seemed determined to make life difficult for her, as always. As a result, she found herself forced ever more frequently to stimulate crop growth herself in the middle of winter, and had received no end of criticism from the aristocracy over her “blatantflaunting of power” as they so graciously referred to it.

Still, her subjects were as warm and safe as she could hope, and she would happily move the sun directly into as many noble houses as it should take to keep her ponies fed. Nonetheless, keeping the sun in the sky so long at a time of year when it so vehemently resisted her pull took it’s toll, and as a result Celestia struggled to drag herself down the hall this morning.

“Princess, I do so hate to impose, but we really cannot afford to keep the Minister waiting!” A frazzled retainer called out to the princess, practically twitching as he spoke. It would seem he had quite a long day as well. Celestia sighed and picked up her pace.

On top of her typical woes and duties, on this particular winter day Celestia was scheduled to meet with a representative of Germane, and discuss their alliance, their friendship, renegotiate their trade deals, and so on and so on.

Standing before the double doors to the meeting room, on one hour of sleep and no breakfast, she cracked her neck, smoothed her mane, and took a deep breath. Time to make some friends.

Her retainers swung the double doors wide, and everypony at the table stood in attendance as the princess made her entrance. It seemed the usual suspects were in attendance, and Celestia pointedly ignored the majority of nobles in attendance, focusing immediately on matters of more importance. Now seated at the far end of the table was the Germane Minister and his entourage. He was an older earth pony with a gray coat and a long mustache drooping down. He wore a simple buttoned up uniform and had some sort of silver badge that evidently denoted his importance, distinguishing him from the younger military sort he had brought along.

“Ah, Princess Celestia, a pleasure to finally make your acquaintance. Allow me to formally introduce myself, I am Chief Minister Boysenberry von Pie, official representative of the kingdom of Germane.” He stood and gave the princess a bow before retaking his seat.

“The pleasure is all mine, Chief Minister, although it seems unecessary, far be it from me to neglect my own introduction. I am Princess Celestia, ruling monarch of the kingdom of Equestria, and Shepherdess of the Morning Sun.” Celestia gave the Minister a short bow, “Before we begin official business, might I inquire as to the well being of General Polka Dot? I must admit I am curious as to why she is no longer handling these negotiations.”

“Ah, your concern is touching Princess. You need not fret, the General is perfectly fine, however in recent months she has…

" ...and I suppose that is just about everything. With this trade deal finalized, it should be less than a month before the first gemstones begin their journey east to Germane. You have done a great thing Princess, I am certain this agreement will benefit both our ponies tremendously.” The Minister got up and extended a hoof to the Princess, which she gladly shook firmly.

Night had fallen now, and the Princess was exhausted as the meeting gradually came to a close. The Minister and his entourage were just having their plates removed by Celestia’s waitstaff as the princess herself finished off a cup of wine. She could hear the Minister laughing over something with his companions, and after a few moment he took a seat beside the Princess while still chuckling to himself.

“Hahaha! Thank you once again for your hospitality Princess, in the beautiful land of Equestria!”

Celestia smiled, despite her eyes drooping slightly with fatigue, “Any time Minister, and thank you for your patience, these things do have quite the tendency to draw themselves out.”

“Ah of course, but tis’ all part of the job, is it not?” He smiled, “Now, how about we end things on a more exciting note?” He gestured to one of his allies, who came over and set a small wooden board between the two, passing a bag to the Minister as he left, “Would you fancy a quick game of chess before we call it a night, Princess?”

Celestia glanced at the Minister, then toward the board as he quickly and deliberately set each piece in it’s designated square. Some were white, some were black, and while about half of them shared the same shape, the rest appeared the have little consistent form. She squinted at the board, now fully set up with all the white pieces on her side, and the Minister gave her a wide smile, waiting for her to make the first move.

Alright. Let us think on this. I might simply tell him I haven’t the slightest idea what this game is. However, he did not for a moment think to ask if I knew what it was, nor offer to teach me how to play. As such, there are only two options: Either he believes it so inconceivable that I should not know the rules that he did not think to ask, or he seeks to make me the fool by challenging me to a game he assumes I shan’t know. No matter the purpose, the course of action remains the same, I must play.

Celestia beheld the board, pondering the eight by eight grid as she attempted to uncover the rules of the game from the pieces and playing field alone.

This piece with the crown, we each have only one, and it is the tallest. It must be the strongest one.

“The first move is always the most important, is it not?” She asked the Minister in a thinly veiled attempt to buy time.

The Minister laughed, “Hahaha! Shows what I know about the game! If I could see ten moves ahead, then I’d think as much for certain!”

Surely these little pieces move one square at a time? If I move one, and he says something, I’ll just move it back and say it’s a joke.

“Hm, you like to get the queen out quick eh? Smart, aggressive. Fits you well Princess.”

He jumped the pony piece over the little one?! Okay, calm down. I did something good last turn, but now it’s easy. I’ll just copy what he did. With the pony piece.

“You’re playing a game with me Princess, I can tell. You’re a tough one.”

He moved the little one two now. Should I say something? Maybe I should try to do it with the one I just moved and see what happens.

“Princess?” The Minister asked her.

“Yes?”

“You know you moved your pawn there two spaces?”

Celestia laughed slightly, “Oh, silly me, I meant to move it one space.”

He coughed, “Right, of course.”

WHAT. That stupid pointy piece moved all the way across the board! Fine, two can play at this game.

“Princess?”

“Yes?”

“You uh, moved your knight a bit far there.”

“Did I? Just a slip of the hoof, I mean to move it… Here. No, here?”

“...”

“Here?”

“Princess, are you…?”

“No, stop, I see what this is. I’m not moving my little pony piece. Instead I’m moving my princess piece across the board over here. Your turn.”

“That’s your king, princess.”

“And?”

The Minister dabbed his brow with a handkerchief, “Well, and...” Holy, is this how they play chess in Equestria? I’m making a complete fool of myself, aren’t I? Perhaps I’d better forfeit now, before I make things any worse.

“It is your turn Minister, I would suggest you think carefully, it seems you’re in a tight spot.” Yes, mind games, get in his head. SHOW NO WEAKNESS.

"Yes, of course... Let me just move a pawn. Your move."

"Excellent, I move my castle piece over here."

"Er..."

"Is there a problem?"

"We the rook, it isn't supposed to- never mind. Let me think..."

I have him now. This game is easy. "Are you sure that's the move you want to make, Minister?" She asked him smugly.

"I suppose so?" He responded nervously.

"Very good, I will now move my castle piece over here in attack position, and engage your little piece. Roll for initiative."

"I- what?"

"I apologize Minister, did you forget your dice set? I'm certain I have one around here somewhere you may borrow." She smiled at the Minister.

One of her guards brought over a set of dice and passed it to him, which he wordlessly took with a puzzled expression. He rolled, glancing at the dice as they sat upon the table.

"Ah, a fifteen. Unfortunately, it seems your little piece shall be exiled," The princess swiped his pawn and set it aside, "I regain 200 life points, and draw a prize card. Your move."

The Minister at this point was sweating furiously. His eyes darted around the room, searching for an escape, “I… Must excuse myself, something is disagreeing with me.” The Minister shot out of his seat and quickly darted toward the restroom. Celestia smugly leaned back in her chair, smiling to herself. Mission accomplished.

The next day, the Germane Minister and his entourage were gathered at the castle gates, their cart laden with the supplies for the journey east, and bundled in their winter cloaks. Celestia stood proudly at the gate, out in the morning air, rejuvenated and ready for the coming day with an entire two hours of sleep.

The rest of his ponies loaded themselves onto the cart as the Minister approached Celestia to bid her farewell, “Princess, it has been an honor meeting you, and receiving your hospitality. Next time you find yourself in Germane, I pray we may offer you the same.”

“You humble me Minister von Pie. Perhaps next time we might play a full game then? I will have you know I’ve never been defeated.” Celestia gave him a smile.

The Minister chuckled nervously, “Yes well, I will need to make sure I catch up on Equestrian chess techniques by then. I would loathe to make a fool of myself.” Again.

And so the Minister and his companions rode away into a new day, and Celestia let out a long breath it felt as though she’d held all day, and allowing herself to relax. She took a long stretch, smacked her mouth and turned to a nearby guard, asking, “What is chess exactly?”

Twilight stared at Celestia with a slack jaw as the princess wound up her story, smiling at the filly before her, “You see Twilight, you can’t always be ready for everything, but if you trust in yourself, I know you can overcome any situation.”

“Wow...” Twilight sat back, pondering as she looked at the chessboard. She looked Celestia dead in the eye and said, “I can’t believe you don’t know how to play chess, Princess.”

“What? Pfft, of course I can play chess. That was just a story. It’s been a really long time since then. It’s not like I never… You know.”

Twilight picked up a knight, “How does the knight move?”

“Well, the little pony piece moves uh...” She scratched her chin, “It like… Moves in a circle?”

Twilight shook her head, “I’m very disappointed in you Princess. I getting some juice and going to bed.” With that Twilight did indeed leave Celestia’s study and shut the door behind her, leaving the Princess to contemplate where exactly she went wrong.