An Unforgettable Luncheon
No matter how busy Rarity's days became, she always made time for lunch with Fluttershy.
It was a chance for the two friends to catch up, exchange the juiciest new gossip, and, for Rarity, an opportunity to forget about the strain of work.
The fashionista spared no expense, brewing a pot of expensive Saddle Arabian tea Twilight had brought her back from her last visit and preparing a platter of canapes and cucumber sandwiches. Fluttershy always stuck to the sandwiches.
Today's luncheon had gone swimmingly so far, and the last hour and a half had flitted away in pleasant conversation.
In Fluttershy's contentment she had experimented with a few of the canapes laid out on the table. She wasn't even sure what was on them, but they tasted good.
Unfortunately her digestive system was not in agreement.
With each nibble, bite and sample of the unusual hors d'oeuvres, a storm had been brewing in the core of Fluttershy's delicate stomach. One that could no longer be ignored. The urge to pass gas was monstrous; Hot, boiling fumes packed Fluttershy's tender little bowels with the density of wet cement. So fierce was the urge to toot that she could no longer sit comfortably on her seatcushion, writhing around and reduced to smiling and nodding at everything Rarity said.
"Uhm... Rarity? I don't mean to interrupt, but I think I need to visit the little filly's-"
"I'm afraid that won't be possible, darling." Rarity dismissed her with a wave of her hoof.
Fluttershy's guts tigthened.
"Wh-What?"
"Oh, did I forget to mention? The commode has been on the fritz all week! We had somepony come in to look at it this morning. He'll be back to finish the job later but said we mustn't use it in the meantime. It's quite an inconvenience, I know."
Feeling the last vestiges of hope slither away, Fluttershy pressed her rump into the seat and frowned.
"Sweetie Belle suggested I use a chamber pot! Pft! Can you imagine such a thing? Fortunately I've been taking only ladylike sips of water today, so I'm sure I can manage until this evening. If not, I suppose I could find a bush somewhere. They are nature's lavatory, after all."
There Rarity was again, prattling. Somehow the topic of pissing into a bush found its way detouring back into a rant about fashion. One that Fluttershy was far too agitated to follow.
Crossing her legs, she wracked her brain for a solution to her problem. Even excusing herself outside seemed too much of a burden to the timid pegasus. As she wriggled on her seat, trying to think of a solution, her guts gave off a long, curdling groan. Rarity went quiet, cocking a brow.
"My goodness! Did you hear that, darling?"
"H-Hear wh-what?"
"Ggrrggrrrggglll..." Rarity mimicked the sound with her voice, "I certainly hope it wasn't the water pipes or something."
"I'm sure it's..."
Fluttershy was at her limit, sweat pouring down her face.
She winced.
"Nothing..."
"You're probably right."
Shrugging and getting back to her food, Rarity soon forgot about the odd noise.
Fluttershy, on the other hoof, had decided there was only one way out of her predicament.
She would have to let a silent one go. Fortunately this was something she had always had a knack for. Even as a filly she was able to let gas out with a low enough pressure that it scarcely made a whisper, and right now she called upon that talent as she leaned over to one side.
Pursing her lips, she eased out a breezy, barely audible puff of air. It rustled against the fabric of her cushion, warming it, but luckily came with little more than a hiss that went unnoticed by her friend. After a few more seconds of steaming her seat, Fluttershy decided it was enough for now and plopped her buttery cheek back down.
Her plan had worked, and she felt a wave of cool relief wash over her body. Slightly more relaxed, Fluttershy dove back into the conversation with Rarity. They talked about how delightful the weather had been lately. Fluttershy was now confident enough in her abilities to creep out some more fumes even while talking. She slanted forwards, her eyes tightening as another silent gust seeped out of her stealthy ponut.
"Yes, it was so w-warm and, hnngh, sunny yesterday! Me and Rainbow Dash did some sun, mmff, s-sunbathing..."
She sighed and set her tush back down.
Quite impressed at herself for letting out some pressure without Rarity noticing, Fluttershy had overlooked one very important detail. And that very important detail slammed into her nostrils with the force of a thousand wrecking balls.
While her gases had been soundless, they were far from odorless. A stench like sour spinach and rotten vegetable husks defiled Fluttershy's senses. She squeaked and clasped a hoof to her snout. The violent jolt back in her seat was enough that Rarity soon caught on.
"Is something the matter dar...dar..."
Rarity's face went pale.
Fluttershy didn't even realize that was possible.
Her eyes widened to the size of saucers as her mouth hung agape.
"Oh, sweet Celestia! What in Equestria is that awful smell!?"
Rarity used her magic to snatch a can of air freshener from the other room and brought it through to the kitchen, drowning out the plague of Flutterfart with a blanket of sweet summer meadow.
"Pee yew! Gosh, there must be a compost cart going by outside! What a horrendous odor!"
She slammed the windows shut, closing off Fluttershy's only hopes of ventilating her flatulence.
The pegasus slumped in her chair, patting her belly which was now starting to grow impatient once more.
"Sorry about that, dear. One of the downsides to living in a town like this, I suppose. Whew! That's one of the most abominable things I have ever smelled!"
Fluttershy's face was redder than a freshly-spanked plot as she sat there and listened to Rarity complain about the smell she was responsible for. The pressure within her trebled.
Weakened by the impact of her own fart stink, Fluttershy wasn't able to tighten her sphincter quite as hard this time. Before she could react her bowels emptied in spectacular fashion, bellowing out a long, beastly roar.
Fluttershy was caught between relief and shame as she emptied out the colossal fart in front of her friend. At the ten second mark it came in sputtering spurts, each one higher pitched, wetter, and more deadly than the last.
After what felt (to her) like an hour, her rump finally died down to a final whimpering squeal, and then silence.
Fluttershy cloaked herself in her wings, shivering.
Trying to issue an apology, all that came was a series of mumbles and mews. Rarity, meanwhile, sat there with utter shock frozen onto her face. She blinked twice, pushed her slacked jaw back into place, and then started to laugh.
It certainly wasn't the reaction Fluttershy had been expecting.
"Oh, Fluttershy! Darling, what a sorry display!"
"E-Excuse me?"
"You break wind like a baby bird! No offence, but that was pitiful!"
Fluttershy was now the one wearing a shocked expression.
"No, no. Admirable effort however. Here's how it's really done!"
Rarity cleared her throat, tossed herself over onto her side to give Fluttershy a good view of her marshmallows, and then pushed.
Carousel Boutique came close to blowing its roof off with the magnitude of gas erupting from Rarity's plot. It sounded like a motorboat sunken in quicksand and smelled like the back end of an ursa major. Dense, brothy, nearly visible mustard gas spewed about the building, fogging up every single window. As for Fluttershy, she was caught in the center of this toxic hurricane.
She could have never seen this coming, and now that she had opened the pandora's box that was Rarity's asshole, things could never go back to normal again.
It was on that day that Fluttershy's innocence gurgled its final breath, and died.
