Author's Note

Reference to self harm here. If you are experiencing suicidal thoughts please get help. There are numbers to call, text and what not... You're loved and if a sign from a stranger isnt what you needed I dont know what you do need.

Scars of the Past

I gotta say being General is.... kinda scary. Awesome as a title but scary nonetheless... After I drove back home with Applebloom and Diamond I dropped em off and met Scootaloo at Sugarcube Corner. She wanted to sit in her brothers car, give it a quick check to see if there was anything wrong and we shared a few cupcakes that Pinkie treated us to... Eyes didnt stay dry for long because she told me after Ryder became General he was drafted. Told me how she had to be dropped off with Celestia and how scared she was that he wouldnt come back.... I saw the end of that when he showed us the fuselage of the plane. You can bet I wanted to piss myself that night.... Lucky this was just before he died. I was older, old enough to ask him if we could do anything but with the relationship we had I didnt wanna ruin it. Make it creepy... Do I still feel creepy that I fucked an alternate time line version of him? Yeah... kinda... But at least he allowed it and could've asked it to stop at any time.... God now that I think about he could've been the one being a creep hiding that he wanted to fuck me.... No no NO! Bad Babs dont you fucking think that way! But.... As I was saying she started crying which Pinkie had to help remedy... Made us both her favorite smoothie. Blueberry and banana with a hint of strawberry. Nice and sweet and it made her a bit happier. I ended up having to drive her back home before going back to mine... Couldnt stay there because being alone felt weird. Sure I could turn on music, walk around naked and maybe piss on the floor if I wanted to but I'm not that much of a bitch to my cleaning crew. After that one night home I went to Twilight's castle.... Been there for maybe a week or so. Tonight I was just sitting in Princess Twilight's media room watching a movie. It was one of my favorites from when I was a kid. Action movie, explosions and just... gallons of blood. Merc died, hellbent on catching his killers and killing them as revenge. I was half way through the movie already and I was already three beers in.... I wasnt drunk but I was swimming a bit.... Kinda in the seat of my pants but I was padded.... Though I was just wearing that and a teeshirt... Why? Well... Last night I had a nightmare, thankfully didnt piss the bed but I didnt trust myself... nap earlier proved my distrust. Anyways I sighed as I knocked back the last of my beer and set the bottle back in the box. Grabbed another one and cracked it open. "....And another one for you Ry....." I said.

I just tasted it.... Bubbly whiskey... with a lighter taste and alcohol content. I only had one for myself... 'Ryder'.... drank the rest including this one. I was about half way through this beer before the light flipped on and my movie was just getting to the good part where the Dead Merc was gonna gut the guy from the inside out! Wait... oops... spoilers.... But I just huffed as I set my beer down only to look over at the door only to see Twilight coming in. She was wearing a royal looking sleeping gown, her mane still flowing as if it were Celestia's herself.... I still swear to this day you can see a sunset just ending in her mane.... She just looked to me and sighed. "You seem to be up late...." She said just looking me up and down.... I covered myself a bit blushing.... Even paused my movie. She looked at everything. "...Four beers down, two to go.... padded and soaked to the point of leaking.... Bloody action movie..." She sat down next to me and pounded the seat arm getting the magic cooler to pop up... She grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to me while she grabbed a bottle of soda for herself. "...I'd ask if you're alright but I've honestly seen this with him every now and then...." I sighed just looking at my half drank beer.

"....is... is it really that obvious....?" I looked to her. She nodded.

"Babs... He was my General for years.... I've seen him from start to finish.... The start from where he was recruited, scared half to death by a faked kidnapping, still wracked by grief about his parents murders and his own sisters safety and wellbeing... That grief was still there years upon years... and with all the other stresses it came to a head.... I havent spoken of this in years but..." She sipped her drink. "...Do you know about Poison Joke?" I shook my head. "...It's a blue flowering plant. Magical in nature. Beautiful to look at and everything.... Only issue is the plant likes to play jokes on those who get the pollen on them... My friends and I were affected by it when we were.... well... we didnt really know Zecora at the moment and we thought she was just some witch experimenting with Applebloom.... Nope.... Turns out Applebloom was interested and curious and actually made friends with her while everyone else was scared of her.... But Ryder.... He apparently got the worst joke I've seen played on anyone.... I still remember the day it happened...." She leaned back a bit. "....He was having a mental day.... Chose to walk out into Everfree to enjoy nature and perhaps help Zecora.... I had to be with AJ and Pinkie Pie to distract them... next thing you know I get a letter from Zecora telling us to come quick.... You dont know how fast we got into his car and went out there.... We were expecting him either grown out of his clothes, turned into an animal or even with some weird growths that might've exploded if not treated right away.... But no... What we got was a filly... Looked about Scootaloo's size at the time.... Had to dress him in clothes that I had to resize.... He went to see his mother with Dash, Fluttershy and Gilda.... I was in the dark about it. Didnt know what was going on until Dash called me crying... telling me that Ryder tried killing himself with everyone watching.... Fluttershy nearly got hurt distracting him while Soarin had to knock him out.... I didnt tell Luna this but I had to use magic to repress some of the memories.... After that I kept watch over him without him knowing.... made sure he was comfortable and everything...."

"....So you know the signs of just.... utter depression and the pain of just.... wanting to die...." I looked at my arm.... Some of my scars were still visible....

"Yeah... I do... I'm gonna be honest here.... You werent the only one who wanted to keep him here.... After I sent him back I just... I silently begged for him to return... But I had to do it.... If I didnt...? I'm pretty sure it would tear apart space and time as we know it if his movies are anything to think of...." She gave a sigh reaching over and resting her hand on my shoulder. "...Why dont you finish your beer and we put the rest in the fridge and maybe get you changed.... Maybe some water to counteract the hangover you might have tomorrow morning." I just gave a defeated sigh and nodded before chugging the rest of my beer. I set the bottle in the six pack and picked it up before just nearly stumbling over my own feet. She just gave a bit of a chuckle. "...Need some help?" I gave a nod setting my beer down and trying to keep myself upright.... I may or may not have been sitting here for a while... for more than one movie...And I may have skipped dinner. And Lunch.... I swear i ate breakfast though. She ended up taking my beer to the fridge for me while I sat there and drank some water making damn sure I didnt leak at all. Hard to do when you really lost count how much you pissed and how much this stuff holds... Though... I didnt leak thankfully. Twilight had to get a wheel chair for me and something to cover myself... And even a towel to put under me just in case. Didnt have my phone so I just had to keep my head down with every guard we passed. I just.... I honestly felt like they were just staring down into my soul just seeing through the blanket I had wrapped around me. We went to Twilight's room. She helped me out of the chair and kinda had me stay on the floor for a moment while she dug under her bed. "...How you holding up Babs? Everything alright?" I looked at my hands... my arms... I saw the cuts but I felt them pulsating like they were still fresh...."Babs talk to me!"

"...I... I'm scared Twilight...." She put a few things down on the bed. One looked to be a plastic sheet while the other was a blanket. Even pulled a pack of diapers out... these ones were.... Well... Not what I would choose on the first go around but.... They were pink.... She helped me up onto the bed and lied me back.

"...I know you are... I'm here to help you though... to stay strong... I may not be able to take away those scars but to ease the pain without having you having to find that pain relief at the bottom of a bottle of booze. If he were here- and I know you hate it when I say that- he would be keeping you from drinking yourself to the bottom. He's nearly done that before.... Nearly shot himself too...."

"...H-He did...?" She nodded as she started getting some wipes ready.

"It was after his parents were murdered... He was imprisoned for assaulting a guard who tried taking Scootaloo away... To this day I still felt bad about Scootaloo seeing her parents just.... the way they were...." She just started changing me. Wiping me down. "My brother saw things that would've been perfect for the guard... He talked with Celestia, asked for lenience and a chance to join rank. She accepted with leniency and met with him outside his cell.... Next thing you know Celestia's at my castle ready to leave and she wasnt happy... I asked my brother what happened and he was in tears almost.... Told me he was about to put the gun to his head.... He had to tackle him and knock the gun out of his hand just in case he had turned the gun on him or Celestia just in case... I had to comfort him and then that night he woke up, called Shining to pick him up and... he was back on his feet, back in his car and back in his sisters arms... I only found after he became General that Luna challenged him to this again after Scootaloo was nearly kidnapped after she had gotten back to school.... She gave him an unloaded gun, told him to do it but he proved the strength he had to keep going... all for his baby sister... He might not be here but just.... Maybe take that to heart... Find something to give you that strength... Family mostly.... Maybe something else that isnt gonna kill you faster."

"...I... I just.... I want to but... he was the only one to give me that strength..." Tears started filling my eyes.... clouding my vision almost. "...I just thought... with him.... I... I could be happy again...."

"But he wasnt our Ryder. I'm serious. If he had stayed here, I'm sure Applejack would've lost her daughter and this entire timeline could've been ripped apart. The fact that it hasnt... It.... It honestly makes me think.... Does it change things? Was he from this timeline or another? If he is from our timeline... did he even change his ways or not?"

"...I dont- I dont know... I just want him back!" I broke down crying here. She just grabbed a pillow and let me hug it and cry into. She padded me back up and raided her drawers for some pants for me to wear. She had to resize them but at least it was better than just being wheeled around with a blanket wrapped around me. She put me back in the chair with me just still bawling and wheeled me to the kitchen.

Honestly... I felt like shit already. Showed my shame to those who I now lead. When we got into the kitchen I kinda felt even worse because of... honestly the smell in there.... it even made Twilight hack a bit. There was someone in there cooking... it wasnt Spike. But it was a Griffon. Not Gallus. Why do I say this? Because he moved out a while ago. Got his own shit in town going and he's been doing well. Ryder supposedly saved him years ago but- Wait... What? Suicide? No. NO. Gallus never tried killing himself. Apparently Ryder was getting ready to go somewhere and Gallus apparently was up and arrested at an airport coming from Griffonstone. Apparently snuck on, wanted to go to the Crystal Empire but they landed in Equestria first for layover and when asked for a ticket he claimed he lost it, Ryder was there getting ready to go somewhere and he took the investigation into his own hands, missed his flight which he had to rebook after getting Gallus out of that airport when he said he snuck on to find somewhere else to go because he was being followed and Ryder basically brought him out here, gave him a meal, somewhere to sleep and a job to do. But as I said there was a Griffon cooking. She had a cut off gems tee (both at the sleeves and just below her breasts) and a pair of sweat pants.... Looking a bit thick at the hips. The feathers on her head tapered off to a nice purple. She looked back at us and sighed as Twilight used her magic neutralizing the smell almost making it seem like nothing was being cooked. "....I.... Thought you went to sleep Princess...." She said.

Twilight huffed. "...I was going to be until I found my new General drinking her sorrows away and pissing herself thinking about him." She said. "Just finish cooking that shit up and get it out of here. You know I cant stand seeing you eating meat!"

"I know but-"

"But nothing! Finish cooking it and go eat it elsewhere! Either that or wrap it up and put it in the fridge after you're done!" She sighed.

"Understood Princess..... This was for something else I'm making tomorrow anyways and i needed to precook it.... Also why the fuck is she even thinking about him?"

"GILDA!" Gilda. That's her name. She was Ryder's.... side piece. Like... If Applejack werent in the mood or if he was pissed off he'd take her somewhere, force her pants off and then rail her.... I saw it one day and.... may have found it hot. Hot enough to handle business right there.... in the open. Nobody saw, nobody knew. Not even him. Or her thankfully but... I see why she let him go at it... she's hornier than a unicorn on changeling pheromone.

I sighed a bit sniffling. "...P-Princess... its fine... just... just tell her...." I said. Twilight huffed and looked to me and then back to her.

"Alright.... You know the other day when you thought we all collectively lost our minds saying we saw Ryder?"

Gilda stirred the meat slab in the pan. "Yeah.... Fucking hell you lot were just missing him so much by whatever the fuck you just saw... Dash even called me Ryder when we were-" She said stopping herself to look at me. "....Uh.... You... you werent.... you werent joking about it were you....?" Twilight and I both shook our heads.

"Nope. She saw him too. Felt him and the EXACT way you'd wanna be felt by him if you saw him again. Hand in your pants, up your shirt, feeling you up and imitating the beast with two backs." I watched as Gilda cut the burner and set the pan aside.

"You're fucking me...."

"Not even the slightest but he was fucking her!"

I sniffled and looked to Twilight. "How do you....?" I asked.

"Applejack. She couldnt shut up about how much you wanted to do the dirty with him after I sent him back. She was.... well honestly a bit jealous." She looked back to Gilda. "You mind grabbing her a water from the fridge? Rather wouldnt have her in bed all day nursing a hang over.... rather would have that time cut down a bit."

Gilda huffed as she went and grabbed a thing of tupperware from the cabinet. "Got it. She's drunk." She said. "Wouldnt be the first time for me.... I...." She just stopped and just packaged her food before putting it in the fridge. She grabbed a few waters... Heard her move my beers and a few other things. She came over with a few waters and just sat down with us.... Had a few for me, one for herself. "....I'm.... not gonna lie here.... it isnt the first hangover I've had to help someone else with all because of him.... I've had to nurse one for myself after drowning myself with half a bottle of rum and then Fluttershy who apparently was just a few drinks in when she was comforting Dash.... Only woke up to her crying, puking and just in utter pain.... No doubt you might feel something but... just.... Rather would have you not screaming and making it worse." I opened the water and just nursed it.... She gave a sigh opening hers.

"Kid I know it hurts.... Trust me... I know pain....."

Twilight looked to me. "It's true.... She was one of the ones who saw Ryder nearly kill himself when he was stuck as a mare...." She said. Gilda drank her water and huffed sitting it down.

"....You dont know how hard I cried.... I didnt know what to do to talk him down... called me a whore, probably would've stabbed me if I got too close..... He was my savior but... what could I have done to save him from himself? Not much other than just be there for him every step of the way.... I'd rather let him rape me than his wife.... I can take a beating and with how my libido was.... god you'd be asking to just drain your balls into me more or less and he did just that whenever he had his bad days...."

I looked to Gilda. "...He... raped you?" I asked.

"Yeah but... it was something I let him do just to work out his rage.... Few scares here and there but other than that I let him do what he needed to.... There was a few times where I needed a pregnancy test just to be sure he didnt knock me up after going a few times in a row.... even with a washout..." Both Princess Twilight and I blushed hard looking at each other.... We... knew what that meant.... basically.... Um... Think of a water balloon.... yeah... That's all I'm saying. She huffed. "...Kid... Why dont you come sleep with me tonight? I can get a shower and you can be in my bed... as long as youre not pissing yourself without protection."

"...Well... that's... already done...." She smiled a bit... looked a bit... inviting.

"Good." She looked to Twilight. "Got a few to spare? I'm out and need to make a run tomorrow."

Twilight sighed. "Yeah. I got you there... Just... dont smother her, make her cry and if she does end up puking, dont make it worse to clean up." She said. "You got the bathroom across the hall from you dont you?" Gilda nodded.

"Yeah. If she needs it its right there... And if she starts having a nightmare.... I'd rather take a few hits and hold her until she calms down... Least I could do considering.... Well... You know...." Twilight gave a huff standing up.

"Alright.... You just get things clean in here and wheel her to your room... She's still a little sloshed and might need some help getting into bed."

"You got it. Night Princess." She gave a nod, stood up and teleported out leaving me and Gilda alone. I sipped my water more just as she finished hers and went to start cleaning.

"So... You're taking his place arent you?" I shrugged as she was scrubbing down the pan. "...Dont blame you.... Its some big shoes to fill... Tell you what I kept telling him.... I'm gonna be there to pick you up off the ground if you fall down.... I kept him alive as long as I did and dammit I'm gonna keep you alive as well...."

I sighed shuttering a bit.... Drank my water like I wasnt wanting myself to get a hangover. "....Why....? Why even say that?" I asked.

"....I see the scars kid... I've done my self harm years ago.... I'd tell you but.... it involves him.... Up to you if you wanna hear it or not..." I thought about it as she made sure there wasnt any residue on the pan after rinsing it. I drank more of my water.... almost wanted to cut out the middle man and pour it down my pants.... Honestly have done that before when I had a heat cycle that honestly just burned... Ice cold water, diaper and just.... Oh it was cold but it felt good.

"...I... I guess I could hear about him... You uh... gonna be strong enough to talk about him?"

"Yeah.... I might've had a personal relationship with him but... I... I guess I've come to peace with his passing... does it hurt? Yeah.... Will it never hurt? Only when I'm laying around the same depth as him...." She scrubbed at the pan and rinsed it again before putting it in a dish rack. She came back over, gave me the other water bottle to hold between my legs before starting to wheel me out of the kitchen. "...Years ago when he was still with the bitch he killed to save his wife-to-be he managed to get away from her for a bit to hang out with Dash at a mall I was bumming around... We grabbed a bite to eat since I was friends with Dash and... I honestly thought that was gonna be my last meal.... I had a hotel nearby.... Wanted to just... see for a reason to keep living.... Dash and I were friends yes but... things were rocky.... I didnt see that as a sign.... Though.... When I thought I was ready apparently someone called the guard... What was worse is that Dash and Ryder walked me back to that hotel... they were barely just leaving when the guard was pounding on my door.... I had the noose up I'd made out of a rope I found and had things blocking the door so they wouldnt bust in... even blocked the window with the bed.... They knew I wasnt gonna come out but when I heard Dash and Ryder outside that door yelling at me to get out there I thought about it... They were talking to me through the door for hours.... Each half hour or so I removed things when they said something I cared about... Dont remember if I put stuff back only to take it back out.... It was almost sundown before I was out of there.... I was sweaty, shaking... even crying and just vomiting.... Dash rode with me to the hospital while Ryder stayed with Dash's bike until someone who could drive Ryder's car back while he rode Dash's bike to the hospital.... He had to lie to that damn ex of his and slept in the hospital with Dash that night just to make sure I was alright.... I slept, not well but... as well as I could... next day I was released, they took me out for food, Dash offered me a place at hers but... I ended up going back to Griffonstone until I was kicked out basically and came back to live with Dash."

"....And... knowing they cared kept you going....?" She turned down a corridor in the hall.

"Yeah.... Even while I was away.... The strength I had, that call of the void you always get around sharp objects, high places, even when near some water.... It always nagged at me... but the voices of my friends were stronger...." She slowed down a bit and faced me toward a wall. She sat down in front of me.... I swear her tits would've spilled out if that shirt were any shorter. "....Those scars.... Something tells me they're linked to him.... Right?" I nodded sipping my water.... Almost empty. "...Here's what I want you to do... Judging by the look of your arms I dont see any fresh wounds.... Lets keep it that way.... But if you ever get that feeling to grab a knife or razor.... Just think of what your friends would say.... what your family would say..... Take those words they would say, try to make them louder against whatever is telling you to do that damage to yourself.... And... Might as well say this now... You ever need someone to talk to, someone to hold, a shoulder to cry on.... you just come find me.... Always here.... You have your phone?" I shook my head.

"...It's in my room...."

"Ah... We can get that tomorrow morning then. Now... I know I keep callin' ya 'kid'... I know your name but its been a bit... What's your name?"

"...B-Babs...." I replied... still kinda sniffly.

"....Babs... Yeah.... you were the kid he saved.... and from what Twilight said.... had a little time with him the other day?" I nodded. "....May I ask how he felt....? Its been so long I've forgotten... Kinda miss it.... being his rapable fucktoy.... He was the only one I let do that because I knew he wouldnt really do it.... But he was rough about things..." I leaned back a bit and finished my water.

"He... He was amazing... wonderful..... Big.... Kinky yeah...But we didnt get anywhere near what he did with you.... But if I could've I would've ridden him all night long and into the morning... If it were big enough his back seat would've been perfect.... Same with a dark spot in the park at night... but we settled for a sitting area outside my house...." She sighed.

"...Jealous here.... What I wouldnt have given to make that a threesome.... If I werent out of town I'd've been there, pissing my pants for him and I honestly wouldnt have cared if he got me pregnant.... Getting a bit horny just thinking about it...." She hummed looking to me. "....You wanna do something once we get into my room? Feel free to say no but I gotta do something..." I blushed a bit.

"...I... have a feeling.... Just thinking about him railing me is just.... doing something...." I sorta.... pushed the water bottle between my legs towards my crotch gently rubbing myself against the padding.... Juuuuuuust right.... She licked her lips a bit.... Does a beak even have lips? Nevermind.... Just... yeah.

"Wanna get off together or would you rather try getting off yourself? Good with either and I have enough toys for both of us..." At this point... I kinda needed something that wasnt my hand in my pants.

"Lets do it. Just... be gentle..." Gilda nodded and got up before getting behind me again.

"No worries about that. I'll get you purring like a kitten while I'm playing with your kitten.... Just... Give me a signal if you feel like that booze is coming back up... Trust me I've been there but I'd rather not have it all over me." I gave a nod as we turned away from her door just a few doors down from where we were. She opened her door and pulled me in. Her room was covered in posters, some of the Wonderbolts, others were metal bands, even of a few video games. TV was hung up on the wall, a few consoles and there was clothing everywhere.... Not to mentioned the room smelled a bit like stale piss. I watched as she got a box from her closet and set it down on her bed... it was half made. I could see some stains on there but some looked like food... or what I hoped was food. "Get yourself over here. You choose what toy to use." I kinda moved my toes a bit.... Tried lifting my leg but I still felt a bit weak to stand. I cleared my throat a bit.

"...Still cant walk here...." Yeah... This is actually something that I neglected to tell Celestia... and I guess Gilda for that matter. You know how people drink and just cant stand up straight when they walk? Me? I cant stand up when I drink... Maybe for a moment but I end up just collapsing like I'm made of lead. She huffed and came over.

"Right... Forgot... You're in a wheelchair and you've had a few too many...." She came over and just squatted down and hugged me. I grabbed onto her. "Alright... At least try here if you can.... On three.... One... Two... Three!" She lifted me and I tried using my legs so I didnt feel like a ragdoll that smelled like booze. She carefully lied me down on the bed and started taking my pants off. "Now... Could use the wand and just share it or we could use something I've been saving for Dash's birthday... Something still that helps us both feel it." I huffed taking my shirt off... Yeah no bra so my tits were just out there. She grinned.

"...Use that birthday thing... Just fuck me and make me cum!" I averted my gaze blushing a bit as she untabbed my padding. "...Just... Dont feel weird if I start-"

"No worries. As long as you let me do the same.... We'll cuddle after alright?"

"A-Alright... but... You didnt let me-"

"...I know... sorry but... if you wanna think of him I understand... I do the same." I hesitantly nodded just as she got me fully naked. Tossed the pants away and the diaper before just getting herself naked.... She might've been as old as Applejack but... I swear Gilda looked like she just doesnt age.... No flabby tits.... Nice ass and her muscles... bitch must work out every fucking day. Like... She had a six pack that was visible even though she eats... well... like a griffon... Compared to me she does take care of herself better. Not sure what she does when she's sad but... I'm not gonna lie after Ryder passed I ate nothing but hayburgers for a few weeks before Applejack made me work in the orchard and start eating healthier. The healthier eating went easy but the work... holy shit.... She added on section after section for a few days until I couldnt anymore. Went on for two weeks, collapsed a few times the first few days but other than that just.... Yeah.... Anywho she just came back over just stark naked herself kneeling at the edge of her bed between my legs. "...First... lets just make sure you're nice and ready...." She spread my legs and then her thumbs.... just... oh she spread me and just spelled the alphabet of a long dead language down there.... it felt so good! I couldnt help but just pinch my nipples.... just give em a good twist as she went deeper. She came back up and sighed once I felt like I was getting close. "Yep... You're ready...." I watched panting and just burning up as she reached into her box and pulled out a strange double sided dildo. It was half cock and half....Uh... Bendy end? I dont rightly know...... It was basically a strapless strapon. Anyhow she fiddled with it making sure it was positioned right before inserting half of it into her own sopping wet cunt and just giving a lustful moan as she did so before just teasing me with the other end. "...If it starts to hurt or something, tell me and I'll slow down or stop... I just need this...." She pushed it slowly in and when I felt it pop in I just shuttered... Giving a moan myself. She slowly started to thrust as she just propped herself up over me as if she were doing pushups. I just grabbed hold of her and just.... Squeezed her still soft and perky breasts... She gave a shuttering sigh. "...Y-Yeah... Just like that.... Squeeze em.... Squeeze em all you like Ryder.... They're all yours!" ...This was gonna be hard trying to feel like Ryder was fucking me if she was gonna say that sorta stuff.... I moaned a bit... Taking my hands back and wrapping them around her just holding her while I closed my eyes.

"...G-God Ryder.... Make me yours... Fuck me.... Fuck me until I just cant stop thinking about your cock...." She started thrusting faster... If it were any bigger I swear she'd be in me like those weird animated stuff I see online all the time... not like I'm uh... looking for that anyways... She grabbed onto my tits and squeezed em firmly.... "Make me cum... Give me all you got!" She started thrusting faster and faster....

"Dweeb.... Fuck... Inside... I want it inside!" She just kept thrusting and fucking me.... The feeling inside my cunt just burned me up... like I was going to catch fire.... Maybe not even a few thursts after we came together, her just.... squirting all over me while I just shook and quivered feeling my own cunt just.... Oohh yeah..... We both just moaned before she collapsed on me... And we both shared a kiss.... I swear I tasted myself and... I tasted very sweet? I... Dont know how to feel about that... She huffed as she stood up and pulled the toy out of us casting it aside onto a pile of clothes... She retrieved my diaper and put it back on before setting the box aside and climbing under the covers with me. "....Th-Thank you B-b-b... Thank you...." I shifted to my side and hugged her.

"...Thank YOU Gilda..... Wouldnt mind doing that again.... maybe with something.... better than just a plastic dick.... Maybe not with so much allusion to... him...." Gilda sighed as she started to spoon with me a bit... felt nice.

"...Yeah... agreed.... Hard to fuck when we're both calling each other by the same name..." I sighed.

"...Let's... just get some sleep...." She didnt even answer.... She was just out. I followed suit... Fatigue and alcohol just knocked me out.

As I slept I found myself back in the PJ's I was wearing. No diaper this time but I was just.... still feeling naked. Though I found myself at a bar. Not my dads like last time. This was.... More of a bar from a game. Like the booze on the shelves wasnt even real booze nor tangible bottles. Just.... I think what devs call it just a cardboard cut out in video games. The bar itself seemed run down but was... honestly something familiar. Like something out of Las Pegasus but.... Nothing i recognized? If that makes any sense? Not sure. There were slot machines, empty blackjack tables, stage for shows with.... just a paper looking curtain and the lights above were just lit but some seemed broken. I got up and started walking through a large door in the wall. Came into another area with roulette and poker tables and the cashiers office off to the left of me. At one of those tables was Ryder! Still dressed in his Celestian white camo outfit he loves from his game... You dont know how fast I ran up to him, tackled him out of that chair and hugged him. He just gave a sigh. "...Missed you too Babs...." He said. "Just came to check up on you here.... Everything alright?" I wanted to nod... I really did but... Knowing from what he said last time he's... Well... I'd say kind of a pervert but with how he treated Gilda and Applejack in the sack.... Pervert is an understatement. So... I'll just say he's been watching and closely. I shook my head. "...Still missing me?" I nodded. "...I know... I miss you too... same with Scoot, Applebloom... Applejack... hell... even Dash and Gilda... If I could ask the Goddess for at least an hour just to be with AJ and Gilda... That would probably lead me to get a full body cleanse in a magma bath..." I sighed.

"...So I've heard.... And I can see why you like Gilda so much.... She was... Thorough..." I blushed a bit as he sat us up. He chuckled a bit.

"Yeah she is.... Before I answer any questions you have... When you wake up I want you to tell Gilda next time she pisses the bed she's gotta soak it through just for me..."

"Uh... Why?" He stood up and helped me to my feet.

"She's gonna be embarrassed but she'll know what it means.... You might've had proof with the Princesses but here... she might be skeptical but.... She might just freak out bad enough she does piss the bed... If she does, dont laugh, dont be Dash and just.... Maybe tease her a little but she wont kill you unless you laugh." He helped me up onto a set and sat with me. "...So... Bet you really have a lot of questions... especially about what happened last time dont you?" I gave a nod. "Alright... Ask away...." I took a deep breath and sighed looking down at the table.... The red and black spots, the numbers.... Even a stack of chips that I just played with that read 'Golden Falls'... Hundred bit chips. I just grabbed one and started flipping it.

"...How did you get your tags around my neck...? You were buried with them... I saw them!" He huffed as he reached over and grabbed a deck of cards before just flicking a few out on the table.

"I cant really reveal much... But I thought you should have them to look to to give you strength.... give you hope.... Maybe give you a reason to keep going in case you get weak...." He sighed looking at the deck in his hands. He pulled them one by one. "...I remember when I first got them.... Celestia sent em in a special drop just for me... took a week to get it but I got it... When I got em I was out at war... my mind wasnt in a good place.... I took one look at it and just... I started to cry.... Not because I missed them... But because I was in pain... and if I let that pain overtake me then I'd be leaving the two ponies I loved the most alone without a husband... or a big brother... Sure I might not've been AJ's hubby at the time but... I had that idea in my head for a while... had it gnawing at my mind until I brought it to fruition.... Now with you? I want you to look at those... think of those who'll miss you if you keep that collection of scars growing..." He took my hand and just dragged a few fingers across my wrist, then my forearm... "...You've got scars from before and after me... You've been sexually assaulted... Nearly died a few times... Those are psychological scars... Those wont heal all the way... they'll be there...." He drew a line from my wrist and to my heart.... I wanted him to grab my breast and make me his.... Might still be a bit horny from fucking his fuck friend. "...The scar that misses me? That one reopened when I came in and just.... did that..."

"Yeah...He... I mean... you.... You saw how much you meant to me since you saved me from what happened in Manehattan..." I got up and just started walking out of the room. He followed. I went for the front door and walked out only to come out into my room.... The day my dad found out I was cutting myself...I stood there grasping my arm. Looking on at the statue of me and my dad, both in tears, me in my underwear with scars all over my arm as he dragged me out of bed... Some of those scars were still fresh... Made just before he caught me... Dad was about to go off on a business trip... and if he didnt know I was hurting myself like that.....? I'm not sure what I would've done... or what he would've come home to.... Ryder huffed as he took my hand.

"...Hurt that bad for the countless cuts all over the place?" I nodded. "...Babs I will tell you right now I'm keeping a lookout for you... This was a mistake your uncle made years ago just after Applebloom was born... he took his own life because your aunt died giving birth to her... if it werent for his regret, her pleading and the look on Applejack's face after seeing him dangling by his neck he never would've made it in to the better of the two afterlives. Not even Hellfire would've taken him... If you take your own life whether it be like drawing blood, hanging, throwing yourself off a cliff or just starving yourself.... you best know I'm gonna be right there along side the duo of judgement, arms crossed and probably tears in my eyes... Same with Applejack, Scootaloo and the rest..." He hugged me... Another warm hug... "...I'd rather not see anyone done in by their own hand... The stresses of life are hard yes... but the ones who love you give strength... and me? I love you as if you were my own flesh and blood... I treated you like you were really part of my family- not just Applejack's family- but my own like Scootaloo..." He nudged me off a bit and reached for his back like he was going to draw a greatsword. Even though no sheathe was there he took out a large sledgehammer... The handle was ivory while the head of it was a firey brimstone still smoldering a bit. "Here.... Take this and destroy this memory. Dont let it grab hold of you and force you down the dark path with no return!" I looked back to the still images of me and my father. We twisted, turned, shuttered and transformed in front of our very eyes... My father turned into some demon with... long talons ready to slash at me... the talons looked as if they were bent rusty razor blades... And me? I turned into some gluttonous demon who looked like it had blood... dripping from its mouth like some guy who just got into a bar fight because some guy was hitting on his marefriend and he told the guy to piss off but the guy didnt wanna back off... True story. I grabbed the hammer and just struggled with it... The head of it fell to the ground but I still gripped it tight.... I lifted the hammer a bit and swung but missed the razor demon in front of me. That demon just slashed at me but I ducked... it nearly took my head off. "C'mon Babs! Pick up that hammer and destroy your demons!" I struggled with the hammer trying to pick it up.

"No! I cant! I'm not strong enough!"

"You ARE! Fight against those thoughts! Weakness means death and you are NOT dying! Overpower those thoughts. Make it known you're not going to lay down and die!" The demons swiped at me again... I had to throw away the hammer to dodge out of the way... I had to hide behind Ryder. He huffed and just waved his hand and the demons turned back into me and my father... "...You're strong enough I know Babs..... You're just letting these thoughts cloud your mind... they're the voices that tell you 'you're not good enough' ... But i know you are... that brave filly inside you is wanting to come out and show the world what she's made of but those monsters are keeping her under lock and key...." He sighed. "...Perhaps this was a bit too harsh to throw you into this quickly... I mean... you were reminded of my passing... Sorry Babs...." He brought me in for a hug... all I could do was cry into his shoulder. He shushed me as we lowered to the ground.... just holding me as I cried. He just... shushed me... Held me close.... We sat there for what I felt like was an hour.... After that he sighed. "...Babs... I might need to get you to wake up soon...."

"NO! NO I DONT WANNA WAKE UP! I WANNA SLEEP FOREVER!" He quickly sat me up, pinned my arms at my side.... And with how angry he was? I.... I may have wet myself....

"BABS YOU NEED TO WAKE UP AND SO HELP ME I WILL DELIVER YOU TO TARTARUS MYSELF!" He yelled. "Now here's what I want you to do.... Contact Luna.... Get together with Scootaloo.... DO SOMETHING THAT ISNT WANTING TO FUCKING THROW YOURSELF OFF A GOD DAMN BUILDING OR CUT YOURSELF!" He picked me up, threw me over his shoulder- all before standing up mind you. But once he did stand up he threw me onto the bed and I swear it was an instant wake up.

I woke up, screamed and scared Gilda out of bed. I just looked around panting just as she scrambled back into bed just to hold me... we were both still naked mostly... Mostly meaning we were both padded and just SOAKED.... I think I even leaked a bit. She covered us both up with her covers just as I broke down crying into her. Not even a moment after Guards barged in with weapons drawn. "Woah woah guys calm down! She just-" Gilda tried saying I had a nightmare but those guards pried us apart and they pinned Gilda down while dragging me off the other side of the bed. "What the-?! LET ME GO YOU FUCKS I DIDNT DO ANYTHING!" I struggled a bit throwing the guard with me off only before vaulting the bed only to see the other Guard trying to cuff Gilda. I... Honestly dont know what went through me.... I didnt order them to stay off her.... I just grabbed the guard and... just... threw them at the other one knocking them both out the door.

I stomped over to the door and just glared at the two stunned guards.... "STAY OUT OF HERE!" I snapped. "ANYONE ELSE WHO FUCKING TRIES GETS FIRED!" I fucking slammed the door on them. I quickly ran back to Gilda and hugged her... She just.... hugged me back sighing.

"Thanks.... You okay? I havent had someone scream like that since......" She spaced out for a moment then shook her head before leading me back over to the bed. "....Here... Lets get you changed and-".... Can I say what poor timing I had? I started to gag a bit. She just looked to me eyes widening. She quickly ran to the door and opened it giving me a straight b-line to the bathroom which she followed closely.... Alcohol might taste alright going down but coming back up? You might as well give me castor oil... God my insides were burning.... Spewed up nothing but booze, small digested chunks of food I ate before my booze spree... and I think some stomach acid.... I'd say it tasted like ass but I'm sure ass tastes better than this. She just kept my mane out of the toilet and splash zone... "There we go... just get it all out.... You good Babs?" I spat and flushed.

"N-No.... I... I... i need help...." She sighed as I started puking some more.

"....Something tells me its not just some ginger ale and some saltines...." I.... Just spat and shook my head before going back in.... "...Shit... you're really fucked up...." I flushed again before looking to her.

"....I.... I just.... the memories... the pain... I.... I cant TAKE IT!" ....Guess what happened next? Yep. Back into the toilet. I was that panicked. She huffed as I just started coughing up nothing but mucus and bile.

"....I swear I should've woken you up when you started struggling.... Nightmare did that but... you just.... you seemed like you calmed down fast... guess something still scared the shit out of you.... Wanna tell me what happened....?" I stopped gagging for a moment... thinking of how mad Ryder was.... the demons that attacked me... my innermost demons.... the ones that he said plagued my mind keeping me from being happy....

"...Ryder... he... spoke with me again...."

"He did? What did he say?"

"....Well...first off... he said next time you wet your bed to soak it through..." She blushed hard having her eyes just.... widen and dip back into her head.

"...I... h-how.... WHAT?!" She grabbed onto me by my shoulders... swear her talons were going to dig in with how hard she was gripping me. "There is no fucking way you'd know to say that unless he told you and last i fucking checked Dash was busy as shit! There's no way unless he fucking told you! What else? What else did he say?" I swallowed....

"...He... told me to face my demons... fucking... wanted me to destroy these... things... just plaguing my mind... making my most hated memories the only things I think about.... the ones that... remind me... what I did... what reminded me why i did it.... I'm just... happy with him.... the only times I see him is if I'm asleep... but.... he told me if I... 'slept forever' .... he'd be there to make it known I'm not going anywhere...."

"....Whooooooooooooweee.... that's.... harsh... even for him... but he does have his reasons for that.... Definitely wants to see you surviving and filling his shoes....though with what he's done... its a bit intimidating.... If he could do it being thrown in as a recruit, you can definitely do it...." She huffed. "You done here? Need to get you changed and cleaned... Maybe some new clothes.... We need to get you out of the castle... maybe take you somewhere to have some fun.... And not the kind we had last night... Maybe get something to eat first to build up your strength but.... probably the best idea..." She stood up and helped me to my feet throwing my arm over her shoulder.

We walked out of the bathroom together only to see Princess Twilight standing against the wall still in her pajamas. She looked to us, blushed a bit but.... That look was just a questioning serious look. "Morning you two... Mind telling me why my guards tell me they were thrown out of the room during a crisis?" She asked. Gilda huffed.

"Your General here spoke with your previous one again. Told me something only he knew! He basically made her do something and just put the fear of the goddess into her! Scared the living hell out of me and I havent been scared like that since he fucking did that same thing. Screamed in my ear, woke me up out of a dead sleep... And I think you know what happened after that!" Twilight sighed.

"....Unfortunately... and I think I told Babs that last night before you took over.... I still remember the call you made with him crying in the background wanting out of Ponyville for his mothers arms... guess that didnt even stop the thoughts...." She got off the wall and stepped aside. "Gilda, you take her into your room and get dressed. I'll bring her some clothes and then we talk about where we go from here." Gilda nodded and hobbled into her room with me in tow. She changed me and covered me up until the Princess came back with my clothes. Grabbed me some jeans, some sneakers and a tank top.... Even some deodorant because I did not at all smell good... Still kinda reeked of alcohol. After that I was given a candy bar just to get something in my stomach. I guess while I was making sure I didnt stink and had my mane all straightened out Gilda convinced Twilight to get me out of the castle and somewhere to get my mind off things.

We ended up having to go to Sugarcube Corner in town. Mostly for breakfast to be honest. When we got there after taking transports it was only me, Twilight and Gilda. Gilda had a pack and she was wearing... well.... she was wearing one of Ryder's old service jackets... Specifically the one where he had to cut off the sleeve to save his own life. Dont know the full story but it was just as he was coming back from the war from what Scootaloo told me. Twilight was dressed in a royal gown. And speaking of Scootaloo... I saw her bike sitting right in the parking area all decked out in Wonderbolt colors as well as even a logo of the cloud and thunderbolt. She has her car yeah but she only takes her bike out when AJ has her car or if something was wrong. Twilight had to stay back at the truck for a moment while Gilda and I walked up to the door. Inside we saw Pinkie at the counter with Mrs. Cake. Mr. Cake is still alive but he ended up having to go to an assisted living home. Just...doesnt really feel right without him though. Wouldnt doubt the twins were either at school or in the back of the shop prepping dough and other stuff. Not gonna lie I foalsat for em for a week just to give myself something to do while dad was out of the house and the Cakes needed to focus on work. Scootaloo was sitting in a booth off to the side just swirling a bottle of juice with a fritter half eaten in front of her. As we entered the bell tolled alerting everyone inside. Scootaloo was wearing her mechanics jumpsuit with her bike helmet sitting idly by, visor up. Pinkie wore tight jeans ashirt that nearly looked like a bra on her with fruity designs all over it and Mrs Cake was wearing a dress with an apron all smudged with icing and such. Scootaloo smiled a bit as we came over to her table. "Hey Babs! Gilda! What're you two doing here?" She asked hopping up to give us hugs... I got my hug after Gilda and just...didnt let go....

Gilda huffed. "Well," she started. "Babs got a bit drunk last night, I got her into my bed.... safe to say she's gotten a bit on the.... unstable side and under Princess orders she's to get out of the castle for a bit, have a little fun." I just looked away as Scootaloo tried to meet my gaze.

"Babs...." She said in the most condescending tone that would've made the Princesses word look like a fucking private trying to order a fucking sergeant around. "Babs.... I want you to fucking be honest with me.... Otherwise i'm shoving my grease covered boot up your ass and keeping it there so I can keep an eye on you closely!" I just turned into Gilda hiding my face like she was going to just bitch slap me right fucking there. Goddess knows she would too...

"Scootaloo back off! She's hurting and she needs our help!"

"Help? Does she want us to fucking throw her out into the street or off a fucking CLIFF?!"

"NO NOT THAT KIND YOU STUCKUP BRAT!" ...They honestly would've escalated further but a magical concussive blast knocked those two apart... and me away from Gilda into another table.

I heard a huff as someone rushed to help me.... Twilight... it had to be Twilight. She grabbed hold of me and hugged me. "BOTH OF YOU KNOCK IT OFF!" She snapped sitting me in a chair. She looked to Gilda. "I know you want to help but do NOT go starting a fight over it." And then she looked to Scootaloo. "And you! I expect better from you! You know who else was going through dark thoughts.... Dont fuck up by making it worse!" She sighed as both Scootaloo and Gilda blushed falling silent. She looked to Pinkie and Mrs Cake who kinda looked a bit scared and worried. "Apologies you two. We've been having issues of... stress... with my new General here... Dozen donuts and some drinks for us please."

Pinkie gave a bit of a nervous smile. "Right away Twilight!" She said. "The usual for you and Gilda?"

"Yep. And... Maybe get a juice for Babs.... Maybe pull up a seat as well and give Mrs Cake a break... Kinda... need to involve you in on this.... If you're okay with that." Pinkie gave a bit of a nod and just started getting everything ready. Twilight looked to us. "Everyone good?" Scootaloo and Gilda nodded... I didnt answer. "Alright. Into the booth. Now." We all nodded and just followed orders almost like we were just falling in line as if we were all enlisted... I sat next to Gilda because... well not gonna lie Scootaloo scared me... And I honestly dont scare of ponies I know that easily but when my mind is like this? Yeah... best to just NOT. Twilight pulled up a chair since... well she couldnt exactly fit into the booths unless she sat sideways... alone in the seat. She huffed. "Alright... We need to be civil here...." She looked at Scootaloo again. "Scootaloo... Why are you here? Everything alright at home?"

Scootaloo sighed as she drank a bit of her drink. "...Kinda... Applejack's been a bit stressed and Applebloom's just been going crazy trying to figure out something for her anniversary rather than her job at the Orchard helping her sister out!" She said. "Lucky its an off day today and I'm on vacation from the garage so... Thought I might as well do something but what that something is I still dont know."

"Applejack stressing about things at the orchard or.....?"

"Yeah.... She's trying to get him off her mind and... not gonna lie I am too... When he told me only something he would know I just... I felt sorry knowing I could've killed him if he hadnt said something..."

"It's alright... There was a lot of distrust along the way.... You, AJ... His own daughter and even his friends.... Yet when he said things only he knew and with the way he looked.... It wasnt that far along with him in his timeline.... I still remember after we sent him back and we had that dinner out to celebrate Babs becoming my new General... Fluttershy and Pinkie came up to me and asked 'Twilight, was that really our friend? The one who we knew, loved and the one who protected us?' ...I questioned myself for a moment but after seeing the damage he caused.... No changeling could replicate his strength... Not without bulking up to those levels of strength... I mean... he ripped apart my safe room door just to contact me, letting me know he was actually there and it wasnt a changeling infiltration... and if he hadnt broken those cuffs? Oh you know I would've tested him a few times with lifting the transports or even pushing him off the top of the helipad only to see what he would say after that... Would've been some colorful words his daughter didnt need to hear but...." She sighed a long sigh looking out the window at the somewhat cloudy day.

I huffed... "...You know... I honestly wish I werent so greedy with him that night.... Wish I could've had AJ or Scoot stay over just to talk with him... cuddle... maybe just sit and watch a movie..." I said. "...But no... I had to just ask AJ to take him all for myself..."

Scoot set her empty bottle down... knocked it over. "I wanted to ask... But when AJ told me what you wanted... I thought it'd be awkward seeing Ryder in some... position i'd rather not see my own family in...." She said blushing.

Gilda gave a slight chuckle. "...Still remember the last time we-" She said only to be stopped by Scootaloo grunting a bit.

"Gilda... if you finish that sentence you're paying for a new jumpsuit for work...."

"Fine... It'll just be my own...."

Pinkie came over laying a box of donuts down on the table before pulling up a chair. "So... Do I need to pull out the big hugs for somepony here?" She asked. "Dont want any mopey party ponies."

Twilight sighed. "Nope... No we-" She stopped and the looked to her chubby pink friend. "Wait... Party ponies? You only call us that when there's a party going on..."

"Dont you remember Twi? It's Dash's birthday! She's coming to town later!"

"Oh SHIT. I FORGOT!" She got up from her chair and went for the door. "Pinkie, we need to take these donuts to go! I gotta start setting up! Babs, Gilda I'll send a transport for you I just need to get back to the castle and get it cleaned and see about last minute catering... So much to do!" We could only watch as Twilight rushed outside and hopped back in the transport only to have the sirens start up and having it drive off fast towards the castle. Pinkie huffed.

"Guess being a princess with a lot on her mind kinda gets in the way.... At least I have her cake ready." She said. She opened the box. "Here. Take a few you want and I'll get your drinks real quick!" We gave a nod and grabbed a few donuts. I grabbed a strawberry cream filled and a chocolate bar.... Love those.

Gilda huffed. "Cant lie.... Twilight isnt the only one who forgot...." She said grabbing a few glazed twists. "...I really need to hit up somewhere and get something for her." We looked to Scootaloo.

Scoot huffed a bit. "Dont be looking at me. I got my shit for her." She said.

"And something tells me its not gonna be good getting everyone together.... Or was this about what happened when we came in?" My cousin just slumped down in her seat. "Come on squirt.... Tell Auntie Gilda what's wrong."

"....No use in hiding it... You already know I'm still missing my brother and that AJ hasnt shut up about him but.... I just... I have my worries..." She looked out the window. "...Years ago after a dinner the Princesses gave Ryder after he returned from the war we got to eat with our parents... Was so good to eat with mom and dad again.... We had our parents... mine... and AJ, Big Mac and Applebloom had theirs and Granny Smith... After that night and they went back we were back at home but... AJ was acting weird.... We were out of the house but Ryder and Big Mac were visibly scared after we got back... I asked Ryder what happened and he told me straight up that Applejack was having dark thoughts..... Told me if I ever started having those kinds of thoughts to just.... go to him, Big Mac or someone who could help me rather than start hurting myself....." ...I felt my scars start pulsing..... I just grabbed onto Gilda. Gilda just grabbed a hold of me and just hugged me. "....I'd ask why but... I think I know...." Scootaloo scooted over a bit grabbing a free hand near my donuts. "...Babs... I apologize if I was rude when it was... well... revealed... but I just dont want to lose someone else.... From the shit I heard from my coworkers and from Ryder.... I just dont want to have to attend another funeral with someone I know laying in a casket... Pretty sure your brother and cousins dont want to see you end up in one either...."

I gave a sigh trying to hold back tears in my eyes. "....No... No they dont.... But... Can... can we call AJ....? Make sure she's gonna be okay? Either that or maybe see if we cant go there to ask?" Scootaloo nodded just as Pinkie came back with a few drinks. Soda for me, energy drink for Gilda and another juice for Scoot. I looked to Pinkie. "Pinkie, call Twilight, have her move the party to my place. As for Catering... Hopefully pizza on me's alright."

Pinkie nodded just as she hurried back to get her phone and while Scoot pulled hers out. She pulled up Applejack's contact info as I bit into my donuts... I swear that strawberry cream tasted amazing. Didnt take long for Applejack to answer. "Gosh darnit Scoot why you gotta be calling now? I just got Mash to school and I really dont want the guard catching me on my phone!" She snapped. Still in mommy mode censoring herself.

"...If the guard says anything I'll tell them to let it slide AJ... Consider this a bit of a welfare check."

"Babs? The hell are you doing with Scoots phone? Unless... Oh god is she okay?!"

Scootaloo sighed. "Fine AJ. Just... Kinda worried for you after what went on the other day..." She said. "I just remembered something that Ryder told me and just... I kinda started worrying after we sent him back...." Applejack sighed.... I heard the engine in the car die out for a moment.

"....I just... I'm hurting.... Trying to just keep myself on my feet for my little girls sake and my family... It's hard without him.... seeing him just made it a bit harder and me just letting Babs go with him like that...? I almost wanted to drop Mash at Fluttershy's for the night and come with y'all... Aint gonna lie I cried after you took him.... Felt bad that he just was seeing all this, scaring the hell outta him... even just wanting to shove my boot up his ass... Like hell I'd ever do that to him... But I hadnt heard him for so long... First I thought my mind was screwing with me... then instincts kicked in and lord if Scootaloo didnt stop me I dunno what i'd do to him..."

Gilda huffed. "AJ, Gilda.... If you dont mind... I'd kinda like to look around the house... make sure you're gonna be safe...." She said. "...Dweeb did it for me, I wanna do it for you..."

"...S-Sure... go ahead..." She replied holding back tears.... I could hear it. "...I... I really dont want to have a reenactment of when my daddy went with mama...."

I looked to Gilda... Just gripped her hand slightly more.... "...Can... Can you do it for me too Gilda...?" I asked. "...I dont trust myself... especially when I'm gonna be alone in that house of mine...." Gilda gave a nod. I just hugged her.

"...Aint sure if you wanted to come by but... I can pick yall up wherever you are... Just..."

Gilda sighed. "AJ, if you want me to drive I'll have Scoot give me a ride to where you are and I'll drive you home. Dont want you getting into an accident because tears are clouding up your vision." She said. She looked to me. "You wait here, tell your transport driver to take you to Sweet Apple Acres after they get here. I'll be back and if Scoot gets in trouble with me you got us right?"

I sighed. "As much as I can.... might forget a few bits to help pay off a ticket but I dont think the Princess would like it if I bailed you or Scoot out of jail without a say in it..." I said getting out of the booth. "You guys be safe and dont get caught!" Gilda nodded as she got out of the booth with Scootaloo in tow... But before they left? I got a little kiss on the cheek from Gilda that just made me blush a bit. I watched as they left before heading to the back just poking my head into the Cakes living area. Just saw Mrs. Cake sitting with her daughter Pumpkin. Pumpkin always had her curly orange mane in pigtails. She was wearing a long sleeve shirt and tight jeans. Looked like they were looking at homework.

Mrs. Cake looked up at me. "Oh Babs! Come on in! Everything alright?" She asked.

"Yeah... Scootaloo and Gilda had to go help Applejack and I'm just stuck here I guess...." I walked in more. "Pinkie upstairs?"

"Yes, she's preparing a bag and might be getting a list together of everything her friend would like. You're welcome to head on up. I might close up the shop for a bit for a bit until Pound comes home." I smiled and gave a nod before hurrying upstairs. She had the first room on the left. Went in and I swear it was almost like my room when I was younger. Toys everywhere, clothes on the floor and just... holy hell.... Yeah I'm basically saying she's still got the room of a kid despite being as old as she is. I saw her on the bed stuffing her bags full of clothes and with a little note pad set aside.

Pinkie just looked up and smiled as I entered being wary of what was below my feet. "Heeeeeey Babsy!" She said. "Excited for the party?"

I sighed. "Yeah... guess so... More or less worried about AJ...." I said. "She and I are still a bit broken up about Ryder... I know she's trying to stay strong with her daughter but... what do I have to keep me strong....?" She stopped packing and set her notebook on top before turning to me.

"We all miss him Babs.... That night after we sent Ryder back to be with his family Dash called me crying.... saying she was kinda scared both for her own safety and everyone elses...I stayed up for a while that night until someone came in and helped her because... I guess they had to use the toilet and heard her crying and talking.... She missed him so much after he passed... She had to be there for Scootaloo and Applejack for when they were both crying and Big Mac didnt wanna come out of his room for a week.... She was struggling to not crawl in bed with them and cry too but she's still strong.... She had Gilda to hang on to.... And Gilda has her own reasons to hang on...."

"Reasons..... for him right...?" She nodded.

"Yep. And if I remember right she always answered her phone for him.... Still remember one night he was up late before one of Scootaloo's birthdays and he just.... Wasnt feeling himself.... Even felt something was off. He managed to have Gilda talk with him until he passed out, found out he was just blowing something up that didnt need to be blown up and everything was fine. Maybe when Gilda gets back, ask for her number, see if she'll allow you to have that liberty of a late night phone call for the trouble you could be having. And dont forget Auntie Pinkie is always here for hugs!" She hugged me and it was like she had the strength of Applejack when she was holding my depressed ass down. But... it felt nice.... Warm....... Kinda felt like I was gonna be suffocated with her tits.... Wasnt complaining. Anyhow she released me and went back to what she was doing. Later that night I had to open my gates for vehicle after vehicle full of party guests. AJ and her friends, Princess Twilight included, Spike as well. Pinkie set up a few party canons, I fired up my karaoke machine and we may have drank... a lot.... Nobody drove home thankfully. Though everyone stayed at the house which I didnt mind.... May have shared a bed with Gilda after asking for her number and.... I can honestly think i've taken a liking to her.... and vice versa. So... I guess I have a marefriend now? But yeah... I think I have a little strength behind me at least....I think at least for the moment I'm stable.... For the moment. Not forever.... FAR from that.