Gallus marched his way towards the throne room, and with each step he felt the weight of uncertainty. He took a deep breath, composing himself. He shivered. His armor clanked with every step, he approached Twilight, bowing to her greeting her formally.
“Princess Twilight, reporting in. There have been no signs of any trouble as far as the eye can see. I have checked every hall and corridor. All is well,” Gallus reported, keeping his eyes near the carpet. Red velvet, luscious and elegant. Nothing like anything he had ever seen back in Griffonstone.
“Rise Gallus, you don’t need to bow to me. We are friends, remember?” Twilight began, as she stood up from her throne, and put a hoof on his shoulder. “I chose you to lead my armies because I knew you’d never let fear get to you. You’ve always been brave. You’ve always been strong, and that is why I want you here by my side.”
“Of course, Princess Twilight. Thank you for the honor,” Gallus stuttered, as he could feel his breathing hastening, as his whole body trembled. Not afraid? Oh no, she was very wrong, he was very afraid. Afraid of how other creatures would treat him, a griffon being a guard to a Princess. It was overwhelming, but he took it with stride, as he raised himself to Twilight’s level, and embraced her in a warm, yet nervous hug. He trembled against her.
“I’m scared Princess. I’m so terrified I’ll mess up, or not be the leader you need me to be. It’s hard,” Gallus admitted to her.
“Hey now, it’s okay. Everything is going to be fine. I know how difficult it can be to become something you never thought you could be, but I trust you Gallus. Just take some time and enjoy yourself. If you ever need to talk, I’m always willing to listen.”
Gallus simply nodded. As much as he wanted to open up, to lay his heart out on the table, she simply couldn’t understand. She hadn’t been an orphan like him. She always had a bright future since she had been just a filly, but griffons weren’t so lucky. He reflected as he walked away from her, on his childhood and where he had come from. The beginning. Maybe then he might understand more how to proceed with his future by accepting the reality of the past.
Griffonstone, where it all started. The place where he was born, the place where he grew up in the streets.
Gallus remembered it like it was yesterday. Memories filled his mind, of being on the streets alone, and unwanted.
Every griffon no matter how much they might not admit it, was greedy, and a bit selfish. Gallus only wanted one thing when he was a child. He wanted some creature. Someone to care about him. It felt like when he went from door to door, place to place, bed to bed, there was no one who cared about one little lost griffon.
He felt alone. He shivered against the cold as he wrapped a torn blanket around his frame, as the first signs of winter began to fall from the top of the clear blue sky. He watched the snowflake fall, how could something so pure end up in Griffonstone? He didn’t know, but he felt his lips starting to curl upwards into a soft smile.
And then he heard a noise that made him quiver. He looked over to where the sound had come from. It sounded like someone roaring, sometimes griffons fought, it was just normal. This sound was more different, more forceful, more like a thump! Beating rapidly, and seeming to be aimed right at him.
There was no one there, no griffon, no monster. No nothing. Alone again, he thought. He sighed as he took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves. He must be going crazy. There was no such thing as monsters, and the only monster he saw was his own reflection.
“That must be why they don’t want me. I’m nothing but a burden. No one wants to even give me attention. No one could ever love a griffon like me,” Gallus whimpered, curling himself up in the worn and torn blanket, trying to just get to sleep. It was freezing, the temperature was dropping bit by bit, and every griffon was going to their homes to be with their family. To cuddle, to love, to be wanted. That was all he wanted, so why was it so hard to find someone that wanted to give him a chance. He wasn’t a monster, he wasn’t! He sobbed as he struggled and fought his way to the dream realm, to the bleakness of another nightmare.
If only it would just end, if only he could be like other creatures, like the ponies, they were so not like griffons. He dreamt about meeting a pony, what it might be like, how they might not hate him, how they might give him a chance to be something more than himself
Gallus opened his eyes as he looked around at the castle. It was very easy to get lost in this place. Very easy to lose one’s way. He had never seen anywhere so gigantic ever before, but he didn’t mind the empty hallways, or how long it could take to find his way. This was his home now. With a smile forming on his lips, he began strutting forward, chest held high.
Nothing could stop him from overcoming his own fears of doubt, his fears of not being wanted. He was a royal guard now. He chuckled at how he was Captain of the guard. He had powers. But, more than that, he felt wanted.
Gallus no longer trembled, as he marched forward through the hallway, towards the exit. He looked forward to seeing the rest of his friends, visiting them again at the School of Friendship. However, he could feel something heavy. A thump! Thump! Thump! Noise once more. He turned around, searching for any signs of where the sound was coming from.
Nothing. No pony was there, and all the guards were silently watching him as he stood there doing nothing. They were waiting on his orders. He felt the sweatdrop forming on his cheeks, as he gulped. The pressure was on, he had to succeed, he had to prove himself worthy of his position in Twilight’s Kingdom.
“Alright, every creature. Princess Twilight has given her orders. We are all supposed to relax and enjoy ourselves,” began Gallus.
Every guard raised a brow at him, some even protested that they were always relaxed. Gallus had to assure them of the situation, and to be at ease.
“At ease soldiers. Carry on,” Gallus boomed out a loud, triumphant shout, so it was very clear, very formal and heard all throughout the halls.
Now that was done, Gallus took a deep breath and pushed himself forward, opening the wide double doors leading to the outside. He saw the beautiful majesty of the outside of the Royal Palace. It was so wonderfully built, that living out here didn’t seem bad at all. Not that he had ever thought about sleeping outside. Having a bed and a roof over his head was quite nice.
The sun shined down right on him, the light of its intensity was just a little bit blinding, but he didn’t mind. He took a deep breath, as he lidded his eyes, and enjoyed the warmth the sun brought. It was lovely.
Gallus opened his eyes, and felt a slight blush raising on his cheeks. It was hard to believe he had come so far from a simple orphan to Captain of the Guards, but here he was. He felt like if he had survived a childhood alone in the harsh winters of Griffonstone, he could survive anything. Even...admitting his feelings towards a certain pony.
He heard it again, the same thump, thump, thump from earlier. He tilted his head from one side to the other, nervously checking all sides of himself. Scanning the area in front of him, to the left to the right, even behind him. No creature was there.
“You’re losing it, Gallus,” Gallus retorted, as he facepalmed. Putting his clawed talon right between his eyes, hitting against his helmet. This shouldn’t be so hard. Why was he afraid? Was he worried about rejection?
“What if he says no...what if he doesn’t want me? What if…” Gallus muttered to himself when suddenly he heard a voice.
“You shouldn’t let your fears control you. I may not know exactly what the problem is, but I can see your stress. I’ve been there. I’m stressed out all the time. More than I like to admit. It’s hard being a Princess, even harder when you know every creature is counting on you. I’ll always be here, Gallus, if you ever want to talk about it.” Twilight offered as she came up from behind him.
Gallus twitched nervously. How long had she been there? Oh...he shook his head. It was better not to add more questions to the pile. He already had too many.
“Princess Twilight, do you ever feel unwanted? Like you don’t deserve the attention. Are you ever afraid?”
Princess Twilight stopped and put a wing around Gallus.
“I never feel unwanted because I know I have my friends, just like you do. Why don’t you talk to them about it? Friendship has taught me so much over the many years, and I’m sure it can help you now. As for being afraid, yes. I’m afraid I am not strong enough, or good enough to be the Leader of Equestria, but it’s with the friendships I’ve made that has helped me overcome it. Don’t ever forget how important friendship is, now go. I’m sure they are waiting for you.”
“Princess Twilight…” Gallus stuttered nervously.
“Do you ever fear being rejected by those you care for?” he asked..
“Maybe sometimes, but those are feelings you can overcome. Trust your heart, and follow it to wherever it leads. Even if the griffons back home never gave you a chance, you’ll always be welcomed here as a part of my family.”
Gallus felt the tears building in his eyes, as he clung to Princess Twilight, and the two just simply embraced together in a warm hug of friendship, love, and a feeling of belonging. Gallus felt in that moment he could conquer his inner fears, and finally admit to a certain pony about being gay. Now the only thing left to do was actually muster up the courage to talk to him one on one. It was going to be hard, but being an orphan had been one of the hardest things for him growing up, this seemed like a piece of cake in comparison.
He could do this, he was Gallus, and nothing was out of his reach. No more doubts, no more fear, with one last deep breath, he spread his wings out, and soared into the sky.
