—☼—
She looked peaceful.
Her navy mane glimmered at the caress of faint moonlight drizzling in through the thin curtains. The smallest smile curved her muzzle and she mumbled something unintelligible, nuzzling into the least flimsiest pillow the princess could find in the tree, her blanket so thin that Celestia had layered two on top, just in case.
And to think, not a few hours ago, Celestia herself had allowed her most prized, most precious student to reside in such a place.
Slowly, the alicorn let go of the breath she’d held, careful not to rouse the resting filly as her hoof continued running itself gently through the thick tri-coloured locks, over and over again, the familiar motion doing her inexplicable nerves good.
Yet she still could not help but wonder, after her inevitable departure the next morning, how much time would have to pass before she’d be able to indulge herself in this familial affection once more?
Despite the turmoil in her thoughts, Celestia smiled as her dearest little pony rolled onto her side and nuzzled into the alabaster hoof sleepily, nickering contentedly under her breath.
Would she eventually learn to live without Twilight’s daily nuzzles? The eager clicks of her hooves on the polished marble as she followed her teacher about? The bright smiles that could light up any room? The endearing little giggles able to melt any heart?
Or would there be a filly shaped hole in her heart for the rest of eternity? Would she be left a lesser pony than she once was, because Twilight Sparkle had made her a better one?
Her jaw set as she told herself to stop being so selfish. After all, Luna - Luna - had returned to her. Wasn’t that enough? What more could she possibly want after the thousand lonely, desperate winters she’d been forced to wait?
Luna was finally back home, and… and that was all Celestia could ask for, wasn’t it?
Yet Twilight chose that exact moment to grip her hoof, pulling it under the covers and onto her chest as if it were a soft toy, smiling innocently. “...princess…?”
What… What more could she possibly want...
The steady bounce of her little heart beat in time with her own, and for a second, all was right in the world. Unwillingly, but inevitably, Celestia came slowly to the conclusion that she’d stay like this forever, if only she could, with the sole sounds swirling about mindlessly in the air being Spike’s soft snores and the pitter-patter of rain drizzling down outside.
Finally giving in, she allowed herself to lean down, indulging herself for just a moment, laying her muzzle right next to the filly’s with a pleasant, toasty warmth spreading all throughout her as their furs meshed. Twilight murmured something and pressed her face to her teacher’s cheek, nuzzling in close with the hoof still in her grasp.
“Love… you.” Celestia just barely caught the slurred words as the filly giggled in her sleep, and the alicorn found herself wondering just what she was dreaming about.
“And I, you.” She whispered, scarcely able to hear her own voice. ‘Selfish, and greedy too.’ Her traitorous thoughts hissed.
The worst thing?
It was true, and she knew it.
A golden corona enveloped her horn, taking hold of the two covers and pulling them up to Twilight’s chin, tucking her in tight. How many times had she had to carry the little filly to bed after a late-night study session? How many times would she be able to do so again after tonight?
Even now, she was holding back the part of her mind screaming for her to take her little Twilight into her hooves, safe and sound, and fly back to the castle, where she would be surrounded by only the thickest velvet curtains, the silkiest of sheets and the fluffiest of pillows, pampered like the little princess she deserved to be.
She was her own chosen protege, for Light's sake! The youngest student she'd ever taken, her most faithful one, the little polymath prodigy who had secured the most coveted position in all the land.
And Twilight would be happier there than here, Celestia wanted so desperately to convince herself.
But the truth was that... she wouldn’t be - and even if that truth was buried as it was in the deepest, darkest parts of her heart, Celestia knew it too.
She would laugh and she would go on with her life, smiling through it all, all while her heart silently ached for the small town of Ponyville and the five peculiar ponies residing within it.
Celestia could see it now - the foal she’d watched grow up withdrawing into herself more and more over time, bitterness and resentment growing like a weed at the one who had seen fit to trap her into a gilded cage and to tear her away from her newfound bonds, until she’d barely be able to look at the perpetrator in the eye and-
Her eyes squeezed shut, and before she could stop it, one single, bitter tear tumbled down her fur and onto Twilight’s mane where it disappeared, never to be seen again. As if she instinctively knew Celestia needed the comfort, her filly snorted in her sleep and pushed herself against the alicorn, smearing her own cheek against hers.
Taking a deep, shaky breath, the princess forced herself to calm for Twilight’s sake if not for her own, and slowly, her breathing slowed down to a steady pace. She opened her eyes, swallowed, and smiled at the way her student had tried to almost curl her entire body around her head, if at nothing else.
The princess gently pried her hoof away and her aura snuck underneath the filly, coaxing her back into the middle of the bed and under the covers she’d kicked off in her rush to surround Celestia.
Celestia withheld a dry chuckle. She never could stand to stay in one place while sleeping.
This, however, quickly bought forth a frown, the princess examining the single bed. It was much too small. What if Twilight thrashed around and fell off onto the cold planks, waking her up - or worse, not waking her up and giving her a cold instead!
And- And speaking of sleeping troubles, what if Twilight woke from a horrible nightmare? She usually came sheepishly tip-hoofing into Celestia’s room, but she wasn’t going to be here! Or what if she woke up in need of a midnight snack and got burnt, fumbling with a stove? Celestia would never forgive herself if Twilight got hurt and she wasn’t there! Or if the filly needed her, and she didn’t come fast enough, because she was stuck on a mountain where she could barely spot the town!
Her thoughts continued to spiral, dredging up a mo- mentor’s worst nightmares with each mental scenario playing out somehow worse than the last.
No. She quivered silently. No, that couldn’t - wouldn’t - happen on Celestia’s watch. Twilight needed to come home with her in the morning, she was too young - too precious - to be living alone with a baby drake even younger than her! What sort of responsible m-teacher would let their student live in a cramped treehouse to fend for herself?
Maybe when she was older, perhaps…
...But no.
Celestia sighed deeply, scrubbing her face with her hooves before staring at the filly longingly. She was mature enough to realize the excuses for what they were, at least. It came back to this again - could she really bear to just drag her student back into her spiral of loneliness now? Now, after she’d finally found some ponies her age, just as the princess had told her to do on so many odd occasions...
A sweet personality, a sharp mind and a humble smile. Twilight was always going to make friends some time in her life, whether she wanted it or not, and with or without the princess’ nudging. And it wasn’t always easy to squirm all the way into her heart, but once you did, the unicorn stopped at no length to let you know just how much she loved you.
Celestia was lucky enough to see first-hoof how true that was.
So yes, she had known that Twilight would eventually find special ponies to click with her like puzzle pieces. She had known that Twilight would love them, and she had known that the filly eventually wouldn’t need to depend on her so much anymore. She was happier than anything, seeing Twilight happy with her friends, but...
Celestia just hadn’t known that she’d leave her for them.
“Celestia?”
Startled, the princess whipped around, a flare sparking on her horntip with her wing snapping out protectively over the filly - purely on instinct - before she relaxed upon seeing just who it was.
“Luna.” She sighed, tension seeping out like a river as she carefully lifted the wing off Twilight and opened it up invitingly for Luna instead. “What are you doing up?” The princess asked, voice soft, straightening up and wrapping the wing around her younger sister as she came around, sitting down onto her haunches next to Celestia. Despite the new arrival, Celestia’s eyes slowly, but surely, strayed back to the prone, slumbering form of her student. “It’s late," she murmured, "you should be resting.”
“Thy morn, t’was meant to begin a few moments ago, and thy carriage dost waiteth outside for thee already.”
She hadn’t realized how late it - well, how early it was, she supposed. Celestia reached out again, brushing the filly’s bangs away from her face once more before setting her hoof down onto the mattress, letting it tickle the very tips of the fur on Twilight’s cheek and watching wistfully as her student mumbled and squirmed into her hoof.
“Our carriage is waiting outside for us,” came the absent correction as the filly twitched again in her sleep. What was hers was theirs - she wasn’t going to ever make Luna feel even the slightest bit overshadowed ever again.
Celestia saw Luna’s brows knit together, confusion crossing her features. “Indeed - t’is what We said.”
Princess Celestia blinked, tilting her head before- “Oh, no, I meant-” Blast the Royal We. She sighed again, “Nevermind, I can... explain on the way to the Castle.” She felt like she should be paying more attention to her newly-returned sister, but right now…
There was just so little time left.
“And thy sun?” The younger alicorn prompted, thankfully bringing her volume down a few pegs. She didn’t want Twilight to wake just yet.
“It can wait.” Celestia whispered before shaking her head and shutting her eyes briefly. “I’m sorry, Luna, I just… just give me a few more minutes. Please.” The sunrise would almost be like goodbye - it was foolish of her to think so, of course, but still.
Once again, she let the perception of time flutter away, focusing solely on the rhythmic rise and fall of Twilight’s chest and the comforting warmth of her cheek.
Once again, it was Luna who finally broke through her bubble of introspection. “Thou art unwilling to leave her here.”
Startled fuschia eyes flitted over to the alicorn under her wing for but a second before settling firmly back on Twilight. “…I am hardly her mother. I have no right to question her choices, much less ones which make her happy.” Celestia stated evenly, swallowing.
Luna tittered, tone bearing some of that mischief Celestia used to know so well. While she was glad to see her sister’s personality shining through again, her mischief always bred bad news. For her, in particular.
“Sister, please, We mayst hath been gone for millennia,” The elder flinched, “but there art things which truly nev'r change.” her sister shot her a deliberate look, “A mother's behold for their child, t’is one of these such things.”
When had Celestia’s hoof gripped onto the mattress so tight? She forced herself to relax, caressing Twilight’s cheek instead as she smoothed out the bedsheet she’d crinkled. “What are you implying, Luna?” Her voice held a tinge of warning, and her heart ached.
“T’is nothing, t’is nothing.” The Night Princess dismissed with a sparkle Celestia just knew was in her eyes without even having to look. “Only that We were most prepared to introduce Ourselves as thine young pupil's aunt upon Our return, and that We hadst found Ourselves wondering just which fortunate guardstallion didst catch thy fastidious eye.”
Princess Celestia’s eyes widened and a faint red tint dared tinge her cheeks as Luna smirked. Quickly glancing at Twilight to make sure she was still asleep, she scoffed and folded her wing back primly, “The first thing you think to do when you get back is to ponder my love life?” She spoke in hushed tones, glaring with her lips pursed.
She paused, “And it doesn’t necessarily have to be a guardstallion, either!” She muttered, “In fact, there was a lovely colt just the other-” Celestia froze and slammed her mouth shut, flustered and very glad Twilight wasn’t conscious at the moment to see her mentor like this - in the rather un-princessly state only Luna seemed to be able to goad her into.
Oddly, Celestia found she had missed even this.
Luna smothered her guffaws with a navy wing and Celestia shook her head, turning her muzzle away with a soft snort as she rolled her eyes, deciding to return to stroking the filly’s mane until her sister calmed down.
Finally, the alicorn’s laughs died down, and they were content to just sit together for a while, a comfortable silence descending upon them with both looking over Twilight.
“Thou art unwilling to leave her here.” Luna echoed after a while, her sibling’s ear flicking, “Why?”
Celestia frowned, her hoof stilling. “I can’t just… I feel like I’m just abandoning her here. It- It’s not right.”
“Abandon? As We do recall, t’was she who didst asketh thee for thy permission to stay with her newfound companions in hither Ponyville, no?”
She sighed, “I- yes, I know, I… I just meant that she’s too… young. What if something happens, and I’m not there to help her?”
“Thy child-”
“-She’s not-”
“-Thy child-” A glare backed with the power of the very sun just dared her sister to keep talking, but as always, Luna brushed it off in the way only a sister could. “-canst hardly stay tucked beneath thy wing for all eternity.” Luna nudged her firmly, but kindly, and the great Princess of the Sun could do naught but look away.
“I… I know, but I- She needs more time to prepare, it’s all just so sudden and- and... she still needs me.” Her voice dropped to a quivering whisper, “She still needs me.”
Luna eyed her, in that terrible way of hers where she made a pony feel like every single carefully crafted layer of composure they bore was torn away from them in one fell swoop, leaving her soul bared bare for Luna to examine, revealing even the deepest of truths and the darkest of delusions. Whether you allowed it, or not.
This was something Celestia had not missed.
Finally, those eyes softened again, and she allowed herself to relax slightly. Slightly. “Is it she who dost needeth thee; or thou, who dost needeth she?” Luna asked carefully, a brow arching knowingly as Celestia immediately tensed again, flinching back and choking on her fumbling words as she jerked her hoof away from the filly.
“W-What? What, no, I-” The alabaster alicorn looked to her student again, finding that the more she watched the filly pawing around sleepily for the warmth of her stolen hoof, the more her resolve slipped away from her like time. “I…”
Twilight was still yet a filly, she wasn’t ready to go out into the world all alone. All her life, Celestia had been there to shield her from the distainful whisperings of the nobles and the manipulations that lay in the shadows, beneath darkened tables and veiled with cloying lies. Twilight was naive in a way books could not remedy; she had a heart that was golden and bright, that saw the best in everypony, unable to imagine a single soul who would be so cruel as to take advantage of that very heart for their own ends.
She still needed her- her teacher. To guide her. To make sure she was safe - to make sure she was happy.
Didn’t she?
It wasn’t… Celestia wasn’t just refusing to let go solely because she needed the filly by her side, was she? She’d always had Twilight’s best interests in mind - Twilight’s best interests.
‘Liar.’
‘Selfish. Greedy. Selfish, greedy-selfish-greedyselfishgreedy-’ The barbs came unbidden, each one a stab at her heart, rushing in like whirling tides and slowly pulling her under- ‘Liar. Liar, liar-liar-’ -until she could hardly breath, and as she felt the wave surge over her face for the last time, she saw a blurry but horrifically clear visage of her little Twilight, snarling at her from up above, betrayed tears racing down her cheeks and spitting out the same venomous words, over and over again- ‘selfish-greedy-liar-selfishgreedyliar-’ -and-
“Sister?” The younger sister rested a hoof on her withers, suddenly snapping her out of her frozen posture with a sharp shudder. “T’is high time to allow her to fly by her lonesome.”
Celestia shook her head of that vitriol and worked her mouth, struggling, “A-And..” She cleared her throat, “And - if she falls?”
“Then her allies shalt doubtless push her up once more.” Luna smiled, “Dost thou know that the five oth’r mares from Our redemption is at this moment in the cookery with the young drake, preparing a meal for thy precious daughter?”
The Solar Diarch blinked, “Spike? But he’s-” His basket was empty and made, and only now did she notice the absence of his little snores. “-he’s… I... didn’t hear him go.” She frowned a bit before she shook off the matter of her inattention. “Her friends are over this early? Just to make breakfast?”
The smaller alicorn smiled, “She is in safe hooves, Sister mine.”
Something gripped her heart and squeezed, “I know.” She admitted, but it almost seemed like a betrayal of herself. “I know, but I-” Celestia looked away from Twilight, “I don’t know if I can let her go.”
“Is it she who dost needeth thee; or thou, who dost needeth she?”
“If it’s responsible, I mean.” She added quite hastily.
‘She’s just a filly.’ Like a broken record, her mind repeated it like some pathetic mantra, but one she so helplessly wished to hear. ‘She’s just a filly.’
“She hath grown into a fine young mare in thy care, Celestia. Dost thou not see her, in all her glory? Give her the credit she is due - after all, thy student didst sprint into danger with naught a regard for herself, in the sole hopes of aiding thee.”
“…a fine young mare”
A mare. Her student had become… a mare.
“She’s just a filly.”
Though the image dozing on the bed had still not shifted from that of the innocent, happy foal from the entrance exam, Twilight was… a mare. All grown up, however much her mind recoiled at the statement.
A mare, who had grown up and didn’t need her old mentor anymore.
“Is it she who dost needeth thee; or thou, who dost needeth she?”
So why did she still yet need her filly?
“I know.” Celestia bit out, eyes misting, “ I know I’ve been unfair.” ‘Selfish. Greedy. Liar.’ She felt a navy wing unfurl over her back. “...But I-I can’t. I’d miss her. I’d miss her too much.”
“Verily, we wouldst be more concerned shouldst thou not.” Came Luna’s voice, low and comforting, “But every apprentice must become a journeymare someday.”
Celestia stared back at her student as she mumbled something and rolled over, back now facing the princess. In her mind, it was almost like a rejection, illogical as that was.
Luna’s wing squeezed her tight, and she finally shut her eyes, exhaling a quivering breath as she pulled herself up to her full height. She reached out and gently touched the sun as if coaxing an old friend out, only for it to be eager and waiting, leaping to its task right away.
Her sister had already ceded her moon’s position in the sky, and Celestia reflected briefly on how… liberating it felt to have not been the one to force it down the horizon this morning.
Slowly, red streaks painted the sky and warm rays spilt over sun-kissed hills, bathing the land beyond those thin curtains in a copper hue and igniting the birds into a chorus of song.
A trickle of light shined out of the crack in the blinds, and Twilight twitched, grunting as she pushed her muzzle stubbornly into the pillow, peaceful features twisting along with the princess’ heart. Celestia almost moved to shield her student with a wing once more, only to restrain herself at the last moment. Instead, her magic tugged the curtains away, allowing the light to soak pleasantly into their coats.
Twilight’s hooves came up to cover her eyes as she stirred, and the Solar Princess couldn’t help but brush a plume lightly over one of her lavender forelegs, making the little pony relax slightly.
Only then did it occur to Celestia that it had stopped raining, but when she looked outside, she could see that the dirt paths of Ponyville were already half dry, most certainly not what earth a few minutes after a downpour had stopped should’ve looked like.
How long had she been sitting here, exactly? The time seemed to have passed so fast.
Her eyes landed onto Twilight once more.
Far too fast, in her opinion.
“T’will not be goodbye forever, Sister.”
Mutely, Celestia nodded and stood up, the stiffness of her muscles finally registering as she stretched out her wings, a few small pops sounding out with her sigh. “I know.” It felt like it though. Nonetheless, she turned a brittle smile to Luna, “Shall we be off then?” She asked softly, ears twitching down despite her acquiescence.
She felt Luna’s eyes resting on her for a few moments, “Thou wishest not to wait for thy pupil to awaken? For a proper farewell?”
Celestia wanted half to cry, half to laugh. She didn’t think she would ever be able to bring herself to leave if Twilight’s eyes were going to follow their chariot as they drifted further and further away, if she ran up to hug her just one last time, as she had last night.
The chariot would easily fit three. Three and a half, with a baby dragon added to the lot.
No, Celestia would never want to let her go then. Better to leave before she could change her mind.
She shook her head and acknowledged the other alicorn’s clearly concerned expression by composing her smile, “I’ll be fine, Sister, dearest.” To be able to call Luna her sister once more lit a delightful warmth in her chest. Not enough that it’d fill the emptiness she now felt, but it made it easier to bear, at least, her smile warming too. “You can go first, if you’d like. I’ll be right behind you.” Celestia gestured politely to the door.
Luna glanced to Twilight then back to her sister, frowning worriedly, but nodding and trotting quietly out of the room. Celestia walked to the door and waited until she could hear the tiny creaks of the stairs fade into nothing before she turned her muzzle to Twilight’s slumbering form for just a moment more - just for one last time - watching her begin to wake.
And, instead of the innocent, bubbly little wide-eyed filly she’d always seen, Princess Celestia was, for the first time, confronted with the image of a mare, laying there underneath all her blankets - responsible, clever, all grown-up, and ready. Ready to make her own decisions, ready to step out into the big world as her own pony.
And yet, at the end of the day, Celestia found that the mare didn’t seem so unfamiliar after all.
If Twilight had been awake and alert, she would have heard the barest whisper slip out of the princess’ muzzle, filled with sadness, yet overflowing with love.
“Make me proud, my most faithful student.”
She always had.
And with that, Celestia turned the corner after her sister, leaving the mare, still oblivious to the morning’s events, laying there alone with a piece of the heart she’d unwittingly, but unavoidably, stolen.
—✶—
When Twilight woke up not a few minutes later to the blinding morning rays piercing through the curtains, she somehow instinctively knew to poke her head out of the window, staring silently after the departing chariot as her last chance to go back home - home to the Princess - flew further and further away until it glided past her teleporting limits and went further still.
It was only when she could no longer see even the smallest blob of gold, blue or white that she finally turned her back to the panes and, after a brief pause, walked away.
Trotting down the somewhat creaky stairs, she blinked in surprise before a beaming smile blossomed suddenly on her muzzle as she laid eyes on all her new friends squished together and waiting for her over at the small dining table, her little dragon flipping pancakes as the mares waved her over with warm greetings.
A delightful warmth burnt bright in her chest as she thanked Spike for the plate and Pinkie Pie regaled Twilight with her account of a ‘crazy dream she’d had yesterday.’
‘No’, she realised, laughing along at the party pony’s antics as Applejack rolled her eyes, pulling a giggling Pinkie back into her seat.
‘I am already home.’
Author's Note
Sorta cheesy?
It’s more than a little self-indulgent, the characters are out of character, and it’s a really overused concept with a truck of tropes in there, I know.
Whipped this up this morning cause I couldn’t get it outta my head. 
You don’t have to take this seriously - and it’s sorta unedited, so there’s probably a buttload of mistakes. (Ahem, and I totally didn’t butcher Ye Olde Equestrian - Sorry Luna!)
Still, hope you liked it? :3
PS. I don’t know whether I should tag Twilight? I’ll do it just in case though?
PPS. I shouldn’t even bother with the run-on sentence warnings anymore.
PPPS. Sinner, if you see this, I know I should have been working on Chapter 1 but I just had to get this down! It was driving me maaaaad!
PPPPS. Not sure if Luna is supposed to be this open and friendly so soon after her ‘redemption’, but I didn’t know what else to do, to be honest.
PPPPPS. IT’S MY BIRTHDAY IN TWO DAAAAAAYYYYSSSS!
