My Little Pony Tales: Rule 63 Edition

by BeTheFire

Rating: teen
Tags: Adventure, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe, Comedy
Length: 11212

Join seven colts for various adventures around Ponyland, including selling lemonade, asking girls out, running from a serial killer... wait, one of those doesn't seem right. Equines get digestive upset from lemons!

What if the Seven Pony Friends were male (among most other characters changing accordingly)? Would things be terribly different? Join Stargleam, Heartling, Rhapsody, Sharp Eyes, Patch, Trefoil, and Babar as they get into scrapes all around Ponyland, whether that's selling lemonade, asking girls out, running from a serial killer... wait, one of those doesn't seem right. Equines get digestive upset from lemons!

See how their adventures unfold and be surprised!

Published 2021-09-19 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-09-24 20:49:17 UTC

Camping Trip

The sun rose over Ponyland, illuminating the hills as several alarm clocks rang across the various houses. Stargleam opened his window, taking in the early morning air as doves scattered about. When he was satisfied, he set to getting ready for the day ahead.

After brushing his teeth, showering to clean his pink coat, and combing his yellow mane, Stargleam went downstairs for some breakfast. Not long after finishing his cereal, there was a honking outside. "Heartling's here! Gotta go!"

"Have fun, honey," his mother called from the other side of the ice cream shop.

"Thanks, mom, I will. See ya!" Stargleam called back, grabbing his satchel in his mouth and running outside. He opened the door to the SUV, and, seeing that the middle row of seats was already occupied, got into the area directly behind Rhapsody, Sharp Eyes, and Patch. The occupants all greeted Stargleam.

"Hey, guys," Stargleam returned, placing his things in the back where everyone else's things already were. "So, Heartling, are you ready for your first camping trip?"

"I'm not sure…"

Heartling's father chuckled and patted his son's shoulder. "Nonsense, son! You'll be just fine. Don't you want to be able to join your friends for fun activities?"

"I guess so…"

Stargleam took a headcount of everyone inside. "So we still need to pick up Trefoil and Babar."

"Of course! Here's Trefoil's house." Heartling's father stopped outside and honked.

Everyone waited, and grew increasingly more impatient. Heartling's father considered the option of honking again, but fortunately, he didn't need to do that, because a lavender pony came out, his pink mane billowing behind him as he hurriedly ran with a toothbrush in his mouth. He tripped over, then picked himself back up and finally got inside the SUV.

As Trefoil budged up next to Stargleam, he swallowed the toothpaste-infused saliva in his mouth.

"Uh, Trefoil, you do know that's bad for you if you swallow it, right?" Stargleam pointed out.

"No," Trefoil replied. "Thanks for the tip."

Next stop, Babar's house. Babar proved to be more punctual when it came to joining the group, although he was holding a paper bag and munching on a cookie.

"Well. Glad to see someone had a nutritious, balanced breakfast," Sharp Eyes snarked as Babar sat next to Trefoil.

"Breakfast? Where are we going for breakfast?" Babar asked, perking up.

Everyone laughed as the SUV departed for its destination.

"I brought music!" Rhapsody declared, holding up a cassette. "The newest Rockin' Beats album. Available at all good retailers for ten jangles plus state tax. Oh, and Stargleam? I'm going to need some royalties off you for playing my songs in your ice cream parlor."

"Forget it."

The vehicle pulled up outside the woods. Everyone went to get their things from the trunk, but Heartling's father pulled Babar aside for a talk. "Now then, Babar," he said. "Just to be sure you understand. What's the proper protocol for when you feel sick in the car?"

"Open the window and throw up?"

"No." Heartling's father shook his head. "That's what I'm teaching you not to do. You tell the driver so they can pull over or give you a bag. Doing it out the window is liable to cause crashes if your vomit lands on somebody's windscreen."

"Yes, sir."

"Good. Now then, let's get this camping trip started!"

Babar nodded before grabbing his satchel and following his friends.

While Sharp Eyes was putting up the tent, Patch was building the campfire. Babar opened his satchel and rummaged around. "Uh oh… guys, I think my mom forgot to pack the s'more ingredients."

"She didn't. I brought those," Rhapsody said, holding up his satchel. "You think we'd let you carry the s'more ingredients after last time? Oh, and Heartling, I brought that soda you like so much."

"Thanks, Rhapsody." Heartling accepted the large bottle and set to pouring himself a drink.

That night, leaves flew around in the wind while trees swayed. In the woods, Trefoil was acting things out while his six friends were left guessing.

"It's a movie!" Rhapsody called.

"What's the first word?" Babar asked.

Trefoil pointed at the sky.

"Sky? Cloud?" Rhapsody guessed.

"No, neither of those," Trefoil said.

"Trefoil, you're not supposed to talk," Heartling pointed out.

"I forgot…" Trefoil then tapped his rear hoof on the ground twice.

"I know! Stamp!" Patch said.

"Stomp!" Heartling suggested.

"Two! The number two!" Sharp Eyes said.

"Oh! Godfather Part Two!" Babar called.

"Maybe the title is two words long," Sharp Eyes suggested. "Oh, or two syllables! Is it Airplane?"

"Yes, that's it, that's it!" Trefoil confirmed, jumping for joy.

"If you're done playing charades, you boys want to get started on the s'mores?" Heartling's father suggested, lighting the campfire.

So the seven friends all went to sit around the campfire. While Babar was walking Heartling through the process of making s'mores, Patch had a sockpuppet on his hoof. "Alright, children, there will be no s'mores and no sleeping until everyone has finished their homework!" he spoke, imitating Mr. Hackney to the best of his ability. "Is that perfectly clear?"

"Hey, come on, Patch, lay off the teacher," Stargleam said.

"Of course Mr. Teacher's Pet is gonna say that," Patch scoffed. "I don't suppose you have anything more fun to do."

"What about telling scary stories?" Rhapsody suggested.

"Scary?" Heartling asked. "I don't know if I like that idea…"

"Heartling, this is a part of camping trips," Stargleam pointed out. "It's a lot less fun without those."

"Well…"

His friends leaned in waiting for his answer.

"Well… okay then," Heartling conceded.

"Good! I'll tell one." Patch cleared his throat, then turned on his flashlight and held it beneath his chin, pointing it upward. "A long time ago… a very long time ago… there lived a pony who went camping in the woods. But he was abducted from his tent by another pony wearing a ski mask who then hacked him to death!"

Patch noticed that Babar wasn't paying attention, more focused on eating his s'more. Time to go nuclear.

"And then," Patch said. "At the murdered pony's funeral, the buffet was cancelled!"

Babar screamed as he threw his s'more in the air in surprise. Fortunately, he managed to catch it in his mouth.

Heartling was shaking, slowly looking back at the trees with a disturbed expression, but the remaining four ponies didn't seem all that perturbed by the story.

"You're gonna have to try harder than that, Patch," Rhapsody remarked.

"Just you wait," Patch warned. "You shall rue the day you failed to quiver in fe-" Just then, his flashlight went off. He opened it up, replaced the batteries, then turned it back on. "Ahem. You shall rue the day you failed to quiver in fear at the deeds of the Six Hundred and Sixty Sixth Serial Killer!"

Rhapsody had left to go to the bathroom while everyone else was settling down, preparing to go to sleep.

While everyone else lay idly, Sharp Eyes was still awake, shining a flashlight on his book so he could read. After about half an hour, he took note of the fact that Rhapsody still hadn't returned. This was a cause for concern. He nudged Stargleam.

"Ungh…" Stargleam rubbed his eyes. "What…?"

"Rhapsody's not back yet," Sharp Eyes. "He went out ages ago."

Stargleam looked around. Sure enough, everyone was here except Rhapsody. "You think we should wake Heartling's dad up?" he suggested. "Not Heartling, though. He'll break out into a cold sweat if he thinks the Six Hundred and Sixty Sixth Serial Killer's on the loose."

"The Six Hundred and Sixty Sixth Serial Killer?!"

Stargleam and Sharp Eyes groaned in unison, watching their friend as his teeth chattered. "Heartling, there's no such thing," Stargleam told him.

"Where's Rhapsody?!"

"He, uh… you just missed him, he only just now went to the bathroom," Sharp Eyes fibbed.

"Oh." Heartling looked a little antsy. "I need to go, too… but I'm scared…"

Sharp Eyes groaned. "Fine. Stargleam and I will come with you. Right, Stargleam?"

"Of course." Stargleam nodded. "Let's go."

The trio walked further into the woods while Sharp Eyes shone his flashlight in front of them.

Heartling gasped when he heard a noise resembling a pony running through the woods. "What was that?!"

"I'm sure it was just another camper," Stargleam said. "Probably got a bad case of the trots to be running that fast. I know shapes may seem fearful in the night, but things aren't always what they seem, okay, Heartling?"

Eventually, they found a suitably secluded area, away from any other tents. "Is this a good spot, Heartling?" Stargleam asked.

"Mhm." Heartling nodded. "Just look away, please."

Just then, they were interrupted by a blood-curdling scream sounding eerily like Rhapsody, much to their shock and horror.

"Rhapsody?!" Stargleam went running in the direction of the sound, with the other two following, although Heartling was a bit more reluctant about it.

Sharp Eyes moved his flashlight around, eventually stopping when he found a most horrid sight. It was Rhapsody, sprawled out on the ground belly-down, motionless, with dark red liquid pooling beneath him. "G...guys?" he quietly said. "You might wanna come see this…"

His two friends came up behind him, and horror washed over their faces at the sight of Rhapsody. "RHAPSODY!" Heartling screamed.

While Heartling was whimpering and breathing erratically, failing to maintain any sort of composure while taking a few steps back, Stargleam, though not totally calm himself, understandably, anxiously approached Rhapsody. "D-don't panic, guys, maybe he's still alive but unconscious! We need to call 911 and-"

But just then, a figure jumped out. Sharp Eyes reflexively shone his light at the figure, and saw a pony clad in leather with a ski mask covering their head. No… it couldn't be…

The masked pony took out a rather large knife from a holster on their leather clothing. The three boys all ran away screaming, with the only goal on their minds being to escape the killer at any cost.

Patch took off his mask. "Okay, Rhapsody, you can get up now."

Rhapsody stood up. "We got ‘em good, didn't we?" he remarked, smirking.

"We sure did, prankster partner… I just hope that hot sauce isn't too bad for the ground."

"Or my fur," Rhapsody agreed. He couldn't see it in the dark, but he couldn't imagine it looked good on his lovely magenta coat.

It wasn't long before light shone in their direction. Heartling's father appeared, holding a flashlight. "What's going on?!" he demanded. "I heard screaming!"

Babar appeared behind him. "I was awoken by the smell of hot sauce! I want some!"

Trefoil was the last one to appear.

"...What's your reason?" Patch asked. But then he noticed that Trefoil's eyes were closed. This obviously meant Trefoil was simply sleepwalking. "...Never mind."

Heartling's father shone his light at Rhapsody and saw him dripping with some kind of red liquid. "Rhapsody! Are you hurt?!"

"It's hot sauce," Rhapsody clarified. "For a prank. Just in case you're wondering where Heartling, Stargleam, and Sharp Eyes are."

Shortly after that, Stargleam and Sharp Eyes saw the five ponies and approached them. "Guys!" Stargleam yelled. "The story was real! The killer in Patch's…" He paused when he saw that not only was Rhapsody alive and well, but Patch was stood there, wearing leather clothes. It did not take long in the slightest for Stargleam and Sharp Eyes to put together the pieces.

"You bastards," Sharp Eyes snarled. "I hope you're happy with yourselves."

"Yeah!" Babar exclaimed. "I can't believe you'd waste such high-quality hot sauce!"

"Where's my son?" Heartling's father asked.

"He's probably hiding somewhere," Sharp Eyes figured.

After ten or so minutes of everybody searching, they had found Heartling hiding in a ditch, shaking uncontrollably. After an explanation of what was really going on, and reassurance that there was no killer on the loose (at least not here), everyone was making their way back to their site.

When they got there, Heartling's dad spoke very sternly to Patch and Rhapsody. "You two have ruined Heartling's first camping trip," he informed them. "It’ll be a miracle if he ever wants to go again. As such, you two are banned from any future camping trips with him. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes, sir…" Patch said, dejected.

"Sure," Rhapsody said. "Anyway, not sure if this is a bad time, but did you want to buy a copy of the newest Rockin' Beats album? I’m discounting it from ten to nine jangles as an apology."

Too Sick to Notice

The SUV stopped outside Babar's house. "Okay, Babar, I believe this is your stop," Heartling's father said. "Got any plans for the day?"

"Yep! Dad's taking me to the theater. Thanks for the camping trip," Babar said. "And sorry about what Rhapsody and Patch did, Heartling…"

"That's fine… I think I'll just have a camping trip in the backyard next time."

Babar got out and approached the front door to his home as the SUV left.

He jumped in shock when the windows to the house suddenly shattered in unison, causing shards of broken glass to scatter onto the floor. Babar ran away from them.

He opened his eyes, then cautiously approached the house again. He opened the door. "Mom? Dad?" He looked around to see broken glass on the floor beneath framed photos that now lacked their glass covering. Something very odd was going on… treading carefully, he went upstairs.

From his baby sister's room at the end of the corridor, he could hear her breathing. Curious, he headed in that direction.

"Ah... CHOO!"

The force of the explosive sneeze sent Babar flying backward through the corridor until he hit a wall. He fell down onto the ground, after which plaster from the wall crumbled away, leaving a pony-shaped gap.

Before he could gather his bearings, his younger brother also went flying into the wall before landing on Babar.

"Oof!" Babar exclaimed. "Andy? What's—"

He was interrupted when their younger sister hit the stripped wall before falling onto Andy, causing Babar even more physical stress. "Ow."

The three siblings picked themselves up. "Babar! You're home!" the young girl exclaimed, happy to see her older brother.

"Nice to see you too, Star." Babar gave the younger two a hug. "But what on earth is going on?"

Hesitant, he decided to go back in the direction of Maple's bedroom, preparing to dart into one of the rooms in the corridor if he heard her begin to sneeze again. Sneezes were rarely as powerful as that first one had been, but his back still hurt.

He nervously entered the bedroom, taking note of the upturned furniture and the feathers scattered around. It seemed the explosive sneeze had destroyed a pillow or two. "Hello? Anybody?"

His parents turned out to be inside the closet. They slowly opened the door, then stepped out. "Oh, hello, Babar," his mother said. "Did you enjoy your camping trip?"

"Kind of… but what's going on?"

"Why's she 'sploding?" Andy asked, appearing in the room alongside Star.

"She's not exploding, Andy, she's sneezing," their father explained. "Poor Maple's sick."

"Is she gonna be okay?" Babar asked.

"She'll be fine, it's just a bad cold. But I'm not so sure about her room," their father chuckled.

"Good!" Babar said. "Then we can still go to the theater?"

"I'm afraid not," his father replied. "I have to get Maple some medicine."

"But… but you promised!" Babar protested.

"Babar, I have to make sure she gets well."

"Indeed," his mother affirmed, nodding as she cradled Maple. "We're going to need all hooves on deck."

Babar groaned as he entered the kitchen. His plans to watch a movie were shot, and on top of that, he'd have to spend the day working, all because they'd heard his sister start to cough and sneeze. His older brother was already inside, measuring out formula and medicine for their baby sister. "Miles?"

Miles looked down. "Hey, squirt," he said. "How was the camping trip?"

"Long story…" Babar said. "But Mom asked me to give you a hand with the medicine."

"I think I got it under control," Miles replied, continuing to pour. "Besides, I have to concentrate. Why don't you go see if Ruby needs help?"

"Okay… have you seen her?"

"Over here," their other sister called from behind.

Babar turned around, but only saw a large pile of laundry. "Ruby?" He approached the pile before Ruby poked her freckled face out, at which Babar jumped in surprise, not having expected her to be inside. True to her name, she usually had a large red bow on her head, but it seemed she'd decided to shake things up today by wearing a blue one instead.

"Heh, didn't mean to scare ya," his younger sister greeted.

Babar chuckled and got down before he leapt off the ground and bombed into the pile.

Ruby's demeanor quickly turned sour. "This isn't a game, Babar!" she snapped. "I'm trying to help Mom with the laundry! Maple is sick, you know! Now give me a helping hoof!"

Babar sighed. "I know, I know… how does one sick baby pony get this much attention? I'm so sick of Maple being sick!"

After he and Ruby had painstakingly dealt with the laundry, Babar sat in his room, contemplating. He didn't have long to do it, because soon enough, he would inevitably be called upon to perform some other chore. He didn't even have free reign of the kitchen to do any baking. If only he could be pampered like Maple instead of having to run here and there… he'd fall down dizzy if it went on much longer.

'Fall down dizzy… that's it!' The solution became apparent. If he pretended to be sick, then he would be able to sit back and relax and not have to do any chores! He went downstairs, preparing to put his plan into motion.

He entered the kitchen. Perfect. There was a fairly large audience. He coughed several times, then looked around to gauge everyone's reactions.

"Did someone just cough?" his mother asked, looking away from the stove and at everyone else.

"I heard it too," his father said.

"It wasn't me," Miles denied.

"Me neither!" Ruby called.

"I think it was me…" Babar said wearily, holding a hoof to his head. He groaned some more, then coughed several more times. "Ohh… yes, it was definitely me…"

"Hey, Babar, what's going on?" Ruby asked, approaching him.

"Gee, are you okay?" Miles asked.

"Yeah…" Babar coughed once, causing Ruby to step back a bit. "I mean no… I don't think I feel very good…" Now for the grand finale. He fell over backward, doing his best not to hit his head on the hard floor of the kitchen.

The others all looked over him in worry. "He looks very pale…" his father noted.

His mother felt his forehead with her hoof. "And he feels warm…"

"Oh no… he's sick too," Miles realized. "He must've caught it from Maple."

'Jackpot!' "Ohh… yeah… that's it… I'm sick too…" Babar parroted. "Someone's gonna need to carry me…"

His dad and brother looked at each other, nodded, then each picked up one half of Babar, grunting and groaning as they carried him into the living room. Transporting a pony with as big an appetite as Babar was no easy task. "Geez… for a little brother, you sure weigh a lot. You need to lay off the sweets," Miles told him.

They finally placed him onto the couch, and his mother placed a blanket over him.

"Looks like I need to make a special trip to the store for some medicine especially for Babar," his father said, while Miles turned the TV on for Babar.

"Where does it hurt, Babar?" his mother asked.

Babar verbally fumbled around, trying to figure out the best answer. "Um… ah… ooh…"

"Oh, poor Babar, you hurt everywhere?"

"Uh-huh…"

Just then, Babar heard a familiar jingle outside. This could only mean one thing… the ice cream truck was passing through! He leapt off the couch and made a beeline for the door… then screeched to a halt when he realized his mistake. He coughed a few more times and went back to the couch. "Oh… I just remembered my legs hurt…"

He pulled out a large chocolate bar from underneath the couch. It was there for emergencies, and being confined to the couch certainly constituted an emergency in his book. He licked his lips and began to peel away the wrapper.

"Sorry, Babar." His mother took the chocolate bar away from him. "But you can't be eating like that if you're sick. I'll go make you some oatmeal."

Babar sighed as she went to the kitchen. "Could be worse…"

A few minutes later, his father returned. "Here, Babar." He gave his son a small box. "This should make you feel better."

"A present? For me?" Babar asked in excitement, eyeing the box.

"Well, not exactly. It's your medicine."

"Oh… thanks, dad," Babar said, disappointed. So far, Operation Get out of Chores was off to a horrendous start, but hopefully, it would end up outweighing having to tend to a sick baby without a moment's rest.

While Star ran out of the living room with a platter of glasses of apple juice, Andy wheeled in a tray of glasses of orange juice, presenting them to Babar.

"Orange juice? I've changed my mind. I think I'd like… apple juice," Babar decided.

"But that's what you said before!" Andy objected. But his older brother coughed again to reinforce his point. Andy sighed, and left to fulfill Babar's request.

"Uh, when you see Star, tell her to bring more cookies?" Babar called after him.

Andy did see Star rather quickly, because the two of them ended up colliding with each other, causing the juice to spill all over the floor.

"Andy! Star! What a mess!" Babar scolded them, earning him a death glare from them both.

Things weren't going very well in the kitchen either, what with the extra work and fewer ponies to do it. "Uh, mom? I think I put pudding in the baby bottles…" Miles admitted.

His mother sighed. "That's alright, dear…"

Dripping with rainwater, Ruby and her father entered the house, each carrying stacks of papers and magazines from the store. They carried them into the living room, placing them down.

"Here's your comic book," his father said, handing Babar the comic.

Babar looked at the cover. "Thanks, but this is from last week," Babar said. "Could you go back to the store?"

"Back to the store?!"

"Please, Dad? I just have to have the new issue!"

Just then, their father sniffed. "What's that? Smoke?"

"Oh, no! My dinner!" Their mother went running into the kitchen to deal with the problem. While the others followed her, Babar was left on the couch.

Things were rather boring for Babar for the rest of that day. Having dinner brought to him on a tray was a luxury, sure, but he grew tired of watching TV and reading his comic book.

Eventually, it was time for bed. For Babar, this entailed staying right where he was, since he already had a pillow and blanket with him on the couch.

His siblings, however, had other plans upstairs. Ruby was going to her room when she heard a "pssst" from Miles' bedroom.

"Get Andy and Star," Miles instructed.

Ruby opened their respective bedroom doors, ushering for them to come out, and the three of them then entered Miles' bedroom.

"What's up?" Ruby asked.

"Did any of you notice that Babar seems rather… sprightly, for someone who's supposedly sick?" Miles asked them. "He heard the jingle of the ice cream truck and jumped out of his bed for a short time."

"Babar makes us get cookies!" Star exclaimed. "He shouldn't be able to eat as much if he's sick!"

"Are you saying he's not really sick?!" Ruby looked furious. "That good-for-nothing glutton! Making us do extra work while he sits there!"

"I'm saying it's a possibility," Miles clarified. "But I think we might be able to catch him out. Trick him into blowing his cover. You guys with me?"

Eager to get out of their extra chores and see Babar receive his due punishment, Ruby, Andy, and Star all voiced their approval of their eldest brother's plan, and the four siblings placed their hooves forward in a circle.

The next morning, Babar was still on the couch. When he heard hoofsteps approaching the living room, he shut his eyes and let his tongue hang out.

"Morning, squirt," Miles said, entering. He shook a box. Babar opened his eyes to see Miles holding a rather large box of chocolate chip cookies. He then watched as Miles did something most peculiar… he taped the box to the ceiling, with the label facing Babar.

"What are you doing?" Babar asked.

"Just putting these here for safekeeping," Miles explained. "Don't get eating any, though. You're too sick to have many."

Babar watched as Miles left the room. Babar then looked up at the ceiling, where the box of cookies taunted him. Inviting him to tear the box down from its prison and snarf down every last cookie. Beads of sweat materialized on Babar's forehead the longer he looked up.

Maybe, just maybe, he could get away with it…

No. He couldn't risk it. Someone could walk in at any moment.

After Babar had been suffering on the couch for the longest fifteen minutes of his life, doing his best (which was not very much) to ignore the cookies, Ruby entered the room, with a special guest following her. "Hi, Babar," Rhapsody greeted.

"Rhapsody?" Babar looked confused. "What's going on?"

"Well, since you're stuck in bed, I had your friend Rhapsody come over to provide you with some entertainment," Ruby explained, smiling. She turned on a boombox, and a funky song began to play as she left.

"Boom boom, acka-lacka lacka boom… Boom boom, acka-lacka lacka boom…" Rhapsody began, continuing to repeat the phrase until the lyrics changed.

"It was a night like this forty million years ago! I lit a cigarette, picked up a monkey skull to go!" Rhapsody was now dancing accurately to how it had been done in the music video for the song.

With a singing voice as amazing as Rhapsody's, Babar was thoroughly captivated by the performance. It wasn't long before it was time for the chorus.

"Open the door, get on the floor! Everybody walk the dinosaur!" Rhapsody sang, dancing bombastically.

Babar shut his eyes. It was taking him physical restraint not to join in the dance. 'Just don't look at it and you'll be alright…'

But alas, Babar just couldn't keep his eyes shut, knowing the performance that was taking place. 'Okay, maybe just a peek.' He opened his eyes… only to discover that he was somehow already off the couch and dancing alongside Rhapsody. "Oops."

He then noticed his parents and siblings standing there, in front of the doorway.

"I… I can explain," Babar began. "...Okay, fine! I'm not really sick! You got me!"

His mother and father looked at each other, then back at their son. "But you're not sick! That's good news!" his father said happily.

"Honey, no," his mother said, holding up a hoof. She looked sternly at Babar. "We're very disappointed in you, Babar." Deciding that the music still playing was too distracting, she turned off the boombox.

"Well… since I'm not sick, can I have my chocolate back?" Babar asked.

"You can have it back once Maple's better—and you've been grounded for a week," his mother told him. She held Maple out. "Now go and give her some medicine."

Babar groaned as he took the baby, then left.

"Well, thanks for all your help, Rhapsody!" Miles thanked Babar's friend.

"Ahem." Rhapsody held out his hoof. "Exposure doesn't pay the bills, you know."

"Oh, right." Miles placed several jangles in Rhapsody's hoof.

Battle of the Bands

One evening, Rhapsody was sat down at the kitchen table. He'd been there for a couple of hours, working on his latest song. "How's the new song coming, Rhapsody?" his mother asked curiously.

"I'm stuck, Mom," Rhapsody replied. "I can't think of a word that rhymes with 'orange'."

"Well, there's 'sporange'."

"What's the heck's a sporange?"

"A sporange is the part of a plant where the spores are made."

"Yeah, I'm sure there's plenty of ways you could write that in…" Imagining working that word into the lyrics was making Rhapsody cringe.

Just then, the voice of a small child called from the living room. "Rhapsody! Come quick!"

Rhapsody got up and went to the living room. Maybe his little brothers just wanted him to play with them, but there was always the off chance there was something interesting he should see.

"PTV!" said Bing-A-Ling, the twin with the grey coat and peach mane and a blue bow tie around his neck.

Ring-A-Ling, the twin with the peach coat and grey mane and a red bow tie, pointed at the screen. "Razzle!"

On-screen, the top hat-clad PTV host addressed his viewers. "Don't forget, Thursday night is the big one!" Razzle declared. "PTV is hosting the first annual Battle of the Bands! To all you cool little ponies out there, if you've got a band, come down Thursday night and show us what you can do!"

"Wow, a music contest! And the chance to appear live on PTV…" Rhapsody could barely contain his anticipation. "Mom, can I go? The Rockin' Beats can win, I know we can!"

"Well, don't forget, Thursday is my night to work at the hospital," his mother reminded. "But if you can get a babysitter for the twins…"

"No problem! But right now, I gotta practice. See ya!" And with that, Rhapsody hurried off.

In the garage, Rhapsody listened to his four band members playing their respective instruments, creating a pleasant, relaxing track.

"Wait, wait, wait, hold it," Rhapsody said, prompting everyone to stop playing. "It's too slow."

"Gee, Rhapsody, sounded good to me."

"Yeah, it was good, Half Note, but we need to be great to win the Battle of the Bands," Rhapsody replied to him.

"Rhapsody's right," Suave Notes agreed.

Rhapsody tapped his back hoof on the ground. "A-one, a-two, a-one, two, three…"

The band began playing the music again at a faster tempo than before, and Rhapsody passionately sang along, with the other members sometimes chipping in to provide backing vocals:

Sweet music
Ooh, sweet music
That's what I hear when you appear
Sweet music
Ooh, sweet music
Life is in tune when you are near
When you are gone, the song just isn't there
But then I see your face again
And music fills the air
Fills the air
Sweet music
Ooh, sweet music
I love the sound when you're around
Sweet music
Ooh, sweet music
Beautiful harmonies abound
I know our song will never die
We make sweet music, you and I
We make sweet music, you and I

Rhapsody lowered his microphone as the music stopped. "You guys did great backing vocals," he congratulated them. "Back in here on Wednesday for another rehearsal!"

On Thursday afternoon, Rhapsody admired himself in the mirror with gold rings around his left hoof and an orange scarf around his neck. A pair of oversized orange star-shaped sunglasses adorned his head.

He saw his mother in the mirror behind him. "Hey, mom, you think the French scarf with green bracelets would look better?" he asked.

"You look wonderful, dear!" she complimented. "Oh, if you still need song lyrics, do you want to hear what I came up with?"

She cleared her throat and then read out from a slip of paper. "Our love burns bright like the sun which is orange. Our love multiplies just like spores in a sporange."

Rhapsody held his hooves over his ears, not wanting to hear any more of this blasphemy. "Mooooom, stop! You'll make my ears bleed!"

"Sorry, dear… just trying to help," she replied as he took his hooves away from his ears. "By the way, who did you get to babysit?"

Rhapsody gasped as he realized. "Oh, no! I forgot! We've been so busy practicing!" He paced around in worry. "What if it's too late… what if I can't get anybody?" He looked at his mother pleadingly. "Maybe you could call in sick?"

"I can't do that! Everyone at the hospital depends on me to be there!"

"But the Rockin' Beats are depending on me! I have to go!"

"I'm sorry, Rhapsody…" his mother apologized. "It was your responsibility to find a babysitter for the twins. Unless you do, I'm afraid you'll have to be the babysitter." And with that, she began to leave.

While Bing-A-Ling and Ring-A-Ling ate their food, Rhapsody was on the phone. "Is Patch there? It's Rhapsody."

"I'm sorry, Rhapsody, Patch is at soccer practice," Patch's mother on the other side told him.

Rhapsody put the phone down and dialed Heartling's number.

"Hello?" Heartling said.

"Hey, Heartling, think you could watch my two little brothers for me?" Rhapsody asked. "You've already got three, haven't you?"

"I wish I could help you out, Rhapsody… I really truly do… but I really truly can't," Heartling said. "I'm doing chores."

Next, Rhapsody tried Stargleam.

"Sorry, Rhapsody, I can't do it," Stargleam declined over the sound of a blender. "We've got a lot of orders to fill at the ice cream shop."

Rhapsody called up Sharp Eyes next.

"No, solve your own problems," Sharp Eyes told him unsympathetically. "I'm going to chess club soon."

Rhapsody rolled his eyes. "Well, enjoy it at 'snooty know-it-alls no one likes' club. No amount of calling it 'chess club' is gonna change that."

As Rhapsody put the phone down, he mentally sifted through the list of who he hadn't tried. Trefoil? Rhapsody shook his head. Though Trefoil meant well, Rhapsody didn't feel comfortable leaving the brothers in his care, knowing Trefoil's general clumsiness and lack of wits. Babar was still grounded after playing sick a few days before, as Rhapsody remembered. He considered asking one of the girls, but he didn't trust Tessa not to cause even more problems for him, and Whiz couldn't do it because if Patch was at soccer practice, then so was Whiz. The only one left was Prancer. He dialed her number hopefully.

"Hello, can you put Prancer on?" he asked the butler on the other end of the line.

After a few moments, Prancer spoke. "Hello, who is it?"

"Hey, Prancer, it's Rhapsody."

"Oh, hello, Rhapsody. Can I help you?"

"Do you have any experience with babysitting?"

"I can't say I have."

"Well, you have, like, a bajillion staff working at your mansion. Can any of them look after my twin brothers?"

"They can't, sorry… and besides, mom and dad won't let me have two little kids running around wreaking havoc."

Having exhausted all his options, Rhapsody put the phone down, sighing despondently. "What am I gonna tell the Rockin' Beats…?"

He was interrupted by a spoonful of food that came from the direction of the twins and splattered on his face.

"That's it, you two, you're gonna get it!" he shouted in anger. But when he saw their scared-looking faces, it didn't take long for his rage to subside. "Sorry, guys… I'm just stressed…"

Just then, the doorbell rang. After wiping his face, Rhapsody went to answer it, already knowing who would be standing there. He opened it, and the Rockin' Beats stood there expectantly.

"Let's go, Rhapsody! Time to shine!" Dulcet said.

"I… I can't go," Rhapsody admitted. "I have to babysit my brothers."

"What?!" Half Note exclaimed. "But we need you!"

"I'm really sorry, Half Note, but there's nothing I can do about it now…"

"You should have gotten a babysitter, that's what you should've done," Dulcet snapped.

"Forget it, Dulcet, we're going anyway," Suave Notes said. "We'll do fine without a leader who keeps bailing on us."

Rhapsody watched hopelessly as they walked away. "Good luck," he quietly said, unheard, then closed the door and slowly headed for the living room.

Rhapsody slumped onto the couch and switched the TV on, then flicked to the PTV channel, waiting for the show to start.

'You don't need 'em, Rhapsody,' he told himself. 'Good band members don't treat each other like they did you just because you had other obligations.'

After the end of the current show, then some commercials, the title card for the Battle of the Bands appeared on-screen.

"Okay, gang, here are the rules!" Razzle spoke to the cheering ponies in the audience. "When you cheer for your favorite band, that scoreboard over there will measure the volume! The louder the noise, the higher the score! So shake out those clappers and air out your yappers! Alright, let the Battle of the Bands begin!"

The first band up was called Metalloid. Rhapsody had to admit they were delivering a solid show. Tuning out the sound of Bing-A-Ling and Ring-A-Ling fighting over pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, Rhapsody continued watching Metalloid's performance.

'So what if they're good?' he thought. 'It's not like anyone can top the Rockin' Beats… everyone knows that.'

Once the performance was over, Razzle addressed everybody watching, both those in the studio and those watching from home. "Okay, little ponies, time to pump up the volume! Let's hear it for Metalloid!"

The camera cut to the seated ponies cheering loudly. The noise they made was picked up by the circular scoreboard, and circles lit up one after the other, starting from the middle and progressing outward.

Rhapsody could deny it no longer. He was done lying to himself that he could have a perfectly good evening sat watching the show at home, unable to influence the outcome. "That's it! The Rockin' Beats need me!" He switched the TV off. "We're outta here. Mom didn't say where I had to babysit ya," he told his brothers. Opening the house's front door, he confidently declared, "She'll never know."

Panting and sweating, Rhapsody sauntered into the studio via the fire exit. With Bing-A-Ling and Ring-A-Ling following him, he scanned the area for any sign of his band members, eventually seeing them on a stage, far away from the one another band was currently performing on. Finishing with catching his breath, he approached them. "I'm not too late, am I?"

They all turned around to see their leader. Meanwhile, unbeknownst to Rhapsody or his band members, the twins had wandered off backstage.

"Look, I'm sorry I almost blew it, alright?" Rhapsody said. "But I made it. So what do you say we put all that behind us and blow the audience away?"

"Well… okay. Water under the bridge," Suave Notes accepted. "You got here just in time. We're on next!"

While the quintet prepared to appear on stage, the other band finished their performance. The resultant cheering caused the scoreboard to light up yet again, stopping dangerously short of the outermost circle. Dulcet grimaced, knowing they'd have to give it their all if they wanted to stand a chance of winning.

A stagehand approached them. "Okay, Rockin' Beats, it's your turn."

Rhapsody looked around, only to realize there was no sign of his younger brothers. How could he have taken his eyes off them?! "I-I can't! I have to find the twins! I'm responsible for 'em!"

"Rhapsody!" Dulcet yelled as their lead singer left again. He groaned in frustration, with no other option but to go to the stage with the other three band members while Razzle announced that the Rockin' Beats were about to perform.

While Rhapsody was searching around backstage for any sign of Bing-A-Ling and Ring-A-Ling, he listened to the band performing without him. The music was there, but without his voice, resulting in only a few of the words being sung, which would normally serve as the backing vocals if not for the fact that they were the only vocals. He winced, hoping to find the twins as soon as possible so he could rejoin his band. "Bing-A-Ling? Ring-A-Ling?"

He soon caught sight of the duo climbing up some steps to a rather oversized slide, about to reach the top. Rhapsody chased them up, but was too late to stop them from sliding down. He watched in horror as the lip at the bottom of the slide sent them flying into the air. "NO!"

But it appeared fortune was on their side, as the twins didn't splatter onto the ground, but instead landed on a very large prop guitar hanging from the ceiling.

Though Rhapsody was overjoyed that they were still alive, he still had to make sure it stayed that way. He raced over to the area of ground below the guitar as fast as he could, then looked up at the twins. "Jump! I'll catch you!" he told them.

"No way! Afraid!" Bing-A-Ling protested.

"Don't worry, I'll save you! Stay where you are!" Doing his best to contain the fear surging through him at the prospect of his brothers not surviving this evening, Rhapsody hurried back to where the slide was, and jumped down it to maximize the forward thrust. He flew off the lip at the bottom just as the twins had done, and grabbed onto the guitar prop. It swayed yet again from the impact, and launched Rhapsody off, with Bing-A-Ling holding onto Rhapsody's back legs while Ring-A-Ling held his twin brother's back legs. The three of them soared through the air until Rhapsody grabbed a rope, which caused them to descend at a steady pace, conveniently depositing them right in the middle of the stage where the Rockin' Beats were currently performing.

Rhapsody looked around in amazement, but didn't have much time to dwell on it, because the last "fills the air" had just been sung. Time to rescue this performance.

Rhapsody sang his heart out for the last remaining lines of the song, strutting about on stage in an ostentatious fashion. His twin brothers took it upon themselves to provide backing vocals, dancing in sync, in true twin fashion.

Once the song was finished, the crowd exploded with noise as everyone cheered. The scoreboard wasted no time in lighting up to the highest setting, but it hadn't been designed to cope with this level of cheering, and, as a consequence, overheated before exploding, sending shards of glass flying everywhere.

The cheering soon turned to terrified screaming as a few ponies, having failed to dodge the glass, now had more than a few shards of said glass stuck inside them.

"KILL THE CAMERAS!" Razzle shouted, waving his front hooves frantically at the camera ponies.

Stargleam looked flabbergasted at the wall-mounted TV which now only displayed, "SIGNAL LOST". He then turned around to see the ponies at the counter speechless and horrified, while a couple of little kids made traumatized squeaking noises, on the verge of bursting into tears.

"...Erm, who wants a free ice cream?" Stargleam suggested anxiously, hoping to appease them.

While the injured ponies were being taken away, Razzle then spoke to the audience members in the studio. "Erm, this Battle of the Bands is now over! Thank you, move along!"

"Hey, what about our prize? We won!" Dulcet pointed out.

"Oh, erm, yes, yes, of course, coming right up." Razzle left momentarily and returned with a trophy, placing it into Rhapsody's hooves.

"We want a photograph, too," Rhapsody added. "To preserve my—er, I mean our accomplishment."

Razzle sighed, and motioned for a photographer to come over.

After the hectic evening, Rhapsody took great comfort that he as well as his brothers were back in the safety of their home. "I'll make you a deal," he told them as he tucked them into bed. "I won't tell Mom what you did if you don't tell her what I did. Okay?"

"No tell..." Bing-A-Ling uttered, tired out.

"Never…" Ring-A-Ling affirmed.

Rhapsody tussled their manes. "Love you guys."

"Love you too!"

Just then, they heard hoofsteps. It appeared their mother was home. Rhapsody hid his photograph. "Hey, er, Mom!" he greeted as she walked into the room.

Rhapsody's heart sank when he saw her stern expression. That could only mean one thing.

"Rhapsody, your job was to look after the twins!" she scolded him. "How could you be so irresponsible as to take them out after dark to a studio?!"

"Wha… how did you know?"

"I saw you! They had the Battle of the Bands on the TV at the hospital!"

"You didn't say where I had to babysit them," Rhapsody pointed out.

His mother opened her mouth to respond, but then slowly closed it upon realizing that was true. "Okay, so I didn't. You're off the hook this time, but in future, you are to babysit them here unless specifically instructed otherwise. Because if something like this ever happens again—"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm grounded."

"No," his mother said. "I'll make you listen to a song that rhymes 'orange' with 'sporange'."

Rhapsody gulped. "G-g-got it."

The Club Meeting

Author's Note

And now we come to a notable deviation from the original, in that the episodes aren't in the same order.

The Club Meeting

Walking alongside each other down the sidewalk, Heartling and Babar approached the old, abandoned house.

"Did you bake those cookies?" Heartling asked, approaching the door.

"Yep." Babar opened his bag. The familiar, alluring scent wafted out after he did so, and Babar's willpower was low. Soon, one of the scones was in his hoof.

"Babar, those are for our meeting!" Heartling said.

"Not to worry, Heartling," Babar dismissed. "I baked plenty for everybody."

Heartling waited by the old, rotting wooden door for Babar to enter through the large gap with broken shards of glass jutting from the sides. Babar precariously made his way through, managing to enter the house unscathed, and Heartling followed him.

It was dark inside, with the doors and windows (or at least the gaps where those would be) serving as illumination.

Once they'd gotten to the largest room, where the red and grey wallpaper had been stripped away in several places, they found their friends were already inside, gathered around the table. "Heartling! Babar!" Stargleam called, waving at them while Sharp Eyes lit some candles. "Come on over, we're ready to start."

The two of them took their seats around the table. "You know, Patch, if we could get some electricity in here, we could plug in a minifridge to keep our snacks in," Sharp Eyes pointed out.

"I'm working on it," Patch replied while Babar set the basket of cookies down onto the table.

"Hey, Trefoil, pour me a glass of soda, would ya?" Babar requested.

Trefoil grabbed Sharp Eyes' reading glasses, set them down in front of Babar, and poured soda onto them.

"Hey! Stop that!" Sharp Eyes ordered, grabbing his glasses.

"Well, that is what he said…" Trefoil explained.

Stargleam tapped his hoof on the table. "May I have your attention, please?" he asked. "The topic for today's meeting is whether or not to allow girls into our club."

"Hey, you know the rules, Stargleam! No girls allowed," Rhapsody pointed out.

"Right! Only boys!" Trefoil agreed, emphasizing his point by slamming his hoof down onto the table rather hard, causing cookies to spill out of the basket. One in particular went flying into the air.

"I'LL SAVE YOU!" Babar yelled, getting up immediately. He dived over the table and caught the falling cookie just before he landed. Unfortunately for him, owing to his sizable weight, this caused the floor to break underneath him, and down he fell.

"Babar!" Heartling shouted in worry. He and Stargleam rushed over and looked down through the hole Babar had created. "Are you okay?"

"Y-yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about me!" Babar called up. "Just continue the meeting without me, okay? There's a lost cookie that needs my help."

The two shrugged it off and returned to the table. "Ahem. Sorry about that," Stargleam told the others, sitting back in his chair. "Anyway, back to letting girls into our club."

"Why exactly are you guys so against it?" Sharp Eyes questioned.

"Those are the rules! What do we want with girls? You can't just go changing tradition like that. It only makes for unnecessary drama. Guys only is a surefire way to keep drama at a minimum," Patch argued. "And I can go without blood all over the seats, thank you."

"Why would there be blood all over the seats?" Trefoil asked.

"...Never mind. And besides, do any of you know any girls you'd want to invite?"

"Surely some are nice to have about," Stargleam added.

"Maybe Tessa?" Heartling suggested.

"Absolutely not," Rhapsody bluntly stated. "If she finds out where our meeting place is, she'll just come and be a nuisance as usual. You know, break our stuff and yell names at us. And you wouldn't be able to focus on anything else with her around, either."

"Wh… what do you mean by that?"

"Come on, Heartling," Rhapsody said. "It's obvious you're into her."

"I… I am not!" Heartling denied, his face flushing red.

"Then why is it that every Valentine's Day, she gets an anonymous card with heart symbols drawn in it?" Sharp Eyes challenged him.

"It's normal for Valentine's Day cards to have those!"

Sharp Eyes pulled out a Valentine's Day card addressed to Tessa from a few years ago and opened it up. On the left, there was a heart symbol with three smaller ones, two of them above the bigger one and the third to the side of it. On the right page, the picture was mirrored. He then compared them to the symbols on Heartling's flanks.

"Eep," was all Heartling could say.

"Well, Tessa's out, from the looks of things," Stargleam decided. "What about Whiz? Surely you'd be open to having a fellow soccer player in the club, right, Patch? Her flank symbol is a soccer ball, for pony's sake."

Patch began to reconsider his stance on the issue. "Well… maybe?" He was apprehensive about letting girls join the club because they might not want to do the same activities as the boys, but Whiz was an exception to this, given her prowess at the sport. Though he was loathe to admit it, she could even give him a run for his money.

"The only remaining member of the girl posse is Prancer," Rhapsody noted. "And now that I think about it, maybe she could come? Since, you know, she's super rich. It would give us a huge boost in sprucing up this place. Or better yet, we could have our club meetings at her mansion."

"Come on, Rhapsody, that's unethical," Heartling said disapprovingly. "Inviting someone to our club for their money."

"Hey, if Whiz and Tessa get to enjoy it there, why shouldn't we?" Rhapsody continued.

"Let's just play it by ear, shall we?" Stargleam spoke. "If we find a girl we like and can trust not to derail our meetings, we can vote her in or not at the next meeting."

"I second that motion," Sharp Eyes agreed.

"Some of them are awfully cute," Rhapsody admitted.

"All those in favor, say ‘aye'!" Stargleam instructed.

"Aye!" the other five agreed, raising their hooves.

Babar's hoof rose out from the hole he had created in the floor. "Aye!"

"Okay, after school tomorrow, we vote!"

After school the next day, Sharp Eyes and Patch were walking alongside each other to the abandoned house. Sharp Eyes saw a van parked next to it, with two ponies carrying what looked just like the boys' table. "Look!" he whispered, nudging Patch. They watched as the two ponies carried the table into the van.

"We're being robbed!" Patch grabbed Sharp Eyes, who blabbered out some brief protests as he was yanked into the adjacent bush where the two could stay hidden while observing what was taking place.

"We'll come back for the rest later," one of the older ponies said before they both got back into the van, which then drove away.

"They're coming back! We gotta protect our clubhouse," Patch decided. "We're gonna have one heck of a meeting when everyone else gets here."

When the other boys arrived, they were not particularly pleased to find many of their possessions missing (except Trefoil, who hadn't noticed anything amiss until it had been pointed out to him).

"As chairpony of our club, I hereby table our vote on the girls," Stargleam announced.

"What table? It's gone!" Trefoil said, much to the amusement of many of his friends, who snickered.

"This is no laughing matter, guys," Patch reminded them. "Our secret meeting place has been invaded by a ring of thieves!"

"At least two," Sharp Eyes specified.

"What can we do? We're just little ponies…" Heartling said.

"Well, I'll tell you what we can't do," Stargleam said, stepping into the center of the circle of ponies. "We can't ignore the problem! We can't sweep it under the carpet! We can't allow somebody to come in here and take our things! Because if we do, where will it stop? Where will it go next? Maybe your house, Heartling!"

"No, not mine!" Heartling protested, frightened.

"Maybe yours, Rhapsody!" Stargleam continued, at which Rhapsody gasped. "Or yours, Babar!"

Babar just stood there, failing to react.

"They might steal all your snacks out the fridge," Stargleam added.

"NOOOOO! THE INHUMANITY!" Babar cried.

"And before we know it, all of Ponyland will be picked clean of everything we own! We can't let that happen! We have to stop them now!" Exhausted after his long speech, Stargleam exhaled loudly.

"But… how?" Trefoil asked.

Patch smirked. "I'll show ya. You guys know the movie Stable Alone, right?"

"Yeah?" Sharp Eyes replied. "I never liked that title. It doesn't have a great ring to it. Can't imagine why… but what does it have to do with the thieves?"

Patch's smirk did not falter.

Sharp Eyes groaned when he realized. "Well, I'll just leave you idiots to your monkey business. Come along, Heartling. Unless you want to be liable for the thieves' stitches."

Having come to the same conclusion, Heartling looked at the door. "Um… good luck." He and Sharp Eyes took their leave.

"Well," Patch remarked. "Those two aren't much for fun."

"I mean, I was going to say we should just call the police, but your idea does sound fun," Stargleam said. "Just as long as it doesn't go too far."

Patch was walking Babar through the process of making a slingshot. "Tie each end of the elastic to each of the two top parts of the handle like this… and you've got a slingshot!" He deposited several Y-shaped sticks in front of him. "You make the rest of the slingshots, I'll go help the others."

When he turned around, Trefoil came over to him, walking on three hooves and holding his red-looking remaining front hoof above the ground. "I gave myself a boo-boo with the hammer…"

"Again?" Patch sighed. "Look, let's find you a different job. You can… uh… I know! We'll sellotape you to the ceiling and you can warn the thieves to run away if they don't want to end up like you."

Patch approached Stargleam, who was rigging a sack of flour to empty all over the thieves. "How's the flour trap coming along, Stargleam?"

Stargleam finished pulling some ropes. "All done."

Finally, Patch went to check on Rhapsody. He opened the door to the small room Rhapsody was inside, revealing Rhapsody was wearing a black cloak. "It's good, but you need to remember to have the hood over you when the thieves come in," Patch said. "Also, I built a little something you can use." He grabbed a long box resting on the wall and opened it up. Inside was a scythe, with a wooden handle and a sharp, narrow blade. "Took me ages to finish sharpening it. Just be careful not to hurt the thieves with it, okay? Just give ‘em a good scare."

"Gotcha," Rhapsody affirmed, holding the scythe.

"Good. Now come on out for a bit, I need you to help sellotape Trefoil to the ceiling."

That evening, Patch, Stargleam, Rhapsody, and Babar peered outside through the gaps between the planks that barricaded the door from the inside. "It's getting dark…" Babar commented.

"Maybe we should go home before our parents start to worry about us," Trefoil suggested from the ceiling.

"Wait! They're back," Patch whispered, watching as a van pulled up. "I recognize that van."

"All ponies to your battle stations!" Stargleam instructed. The four of them spread apart, running to their respective positions.

Patch and Trefoil watched and listened as someone tried to open the door from the outside, not knowing about the barricade on the other side. "That's funny. It must be stuck," they heard him say from outside. "Stand back."

"That must mean he's got company again," Patch said from the top of the staircase.

The door was subjected to repeated kicks, each more forceful than the last, until the door broke down, destroying the wooden planks. Patch and Trefoil could now get a good look at the ponies. They all had white coats with yellow, orange, green and pink manes and tails. There were two adults, one stallion and one mare, and the third one was much younger, a girl about their age. It appeared they were a family.

"Beware, beware, all ye who enter here!" Trefoil spoke to them.

"What the… who are you and what are you doing in here?!" the mother asked.

"I'm here to warn you… don't do any crimes like I did! Especially thievery! Or else you shall forevermore be cursed to hang from the ceiling for your… uh…" He called over to Patch. "Line?"

"Sins," Patch called.

"Or else you shall forevermore be cursed to hang from the ceiling for your sins!"

"You kids stop this nonsense right now and get out!" the father demanded.

"Don't say we didn't warn you," Patch said. He pulled a rope, and a sack of flour emptied all over the family.

They all coughed, keeping their eyes closed and protected from the white powder. "What's happening?!" the mother exclaimed.

"I don't know, but I'm going to find out." The father stormed forward, approaching the staircase, which had wet white paint slathered over it.

"Don't come any closer," Patch warned. "If you do, it will be painful for you."

"Who are you?!" the father snapped, unwisely traveling up the stairs.

"Who are you?" Patch countered.

Sure enough, the older pony ended up slipping on the paint, falling back down the stairs, his yelling jittered as a result of hitting each step.

"Commence firing!" Patch yelled.

Babar and Stargleam revealed themselves, using their slingshots to launch jelly-filled bombs at the father's face. Some of the jelly flew off and splattered onto the family's daughter.

"Mmm…" the girl said, tasting the projectile. "That's some good jelly."

"Bullseye!" Stargleam cheered.

"Alright, that's enough of that!" the mother yelled, chasing Stargleam. He ran away, pleased that he was leading her right into a trap.

She followed him into a dark room. It didn't stay dark for long, because a flashlight was turned on, revealing a figure in a dark grey cloak with a pointy hood. The figure was holding a sharp scythe, one that gave off a grim, otherworldly aura. The sight was enough to send her screaming and fleeing.

"Way to go!" Stargleam congratulated Rhapsody as the latter removed his robe. The two of them intertwined their tails as a gesture of camaraderie.

The father was still dealing with Patch. "I don't know who you are, but you'd better stop right now!"

"And you'd better get out," Patch retorted, pulling back a piece of elastic attached to the staircase, preparing to launch another jelly bomb.

"You don't belong here!"

"Neither do you!" Patch launched the jelly bomb downward and right at the older pony's face.

"THE GRIM REAPER IS AFTER ME! HEEEEELLLLLP!" the mother wailed as she came running into the house's central room. She then slipped on a puddle of jelly and slid across the floor until her husband and daughter grabbed her.

"You give up?" Patch threatened, preparing to fire a plunger.

"Yes! We surrender!"

"Cease fire!" Patch called out to his friends. "Sir, your surrender is accepted. Now I'll just show you out and—" Unfortunately for him, he made the mistake of stepping onto the staircase, forgetting about the slippery wet paint still there. He fell down, his butt hitting every step until he ended up on the ground, where he slid on the jelly on the ground until he ended up in front of the doorway.

"I demand to know the meaning of this!" the outraged father snapped. "We're the Barringtons! We own this house!"

"You own it?" Patch asked. "We thought you came here to rob it."

"We move in next week. We just wanted to clear out all the junk," the mother explained.

"But all the junk is ours," Trefoil said from the ceiling.

"Yeah, this is our secret clubhouse where we have our club meetings," Babar added.

The father's anger faded. "Well, I see now why you did this… I think you're all very brave little ponies, but it looks like we have a problem."

"And it looks like we owe you a big apology," Stargleam admitted. "And some help."

"Stargleam, you can't just volunteer me for manual labor!" Rhapsody protested.

"Come on, guys, it's the least we can do," Stargleam told them. "Now let's get Trefoil down from there and go home."

"Let me help," the girl offered. So she and Patch both clambered onto the twin stepladder and set to work peeling away the layers of tape from Trefoil one by one.

"Guys?" Trefoil said, looking and sounding worried. "I don't think this tape is gonna hold me much longer…"

The last few pieces of tape gave way while the girl was in the middle of peeling them off. Trefoil fell to the ground, and ended up pulling the girl down with him. They hit the ground, and while they weren't injured, it was still a bit painful.

Collecting themselves, they opened their eyes, and found themselves facing each other with their muzzles brushing up against one another. "Oh, uh, sorry about that!" he apologized, quickly getting up. "Sorry, miss, um…"

"It's Lauren," the girl replied, picking herself up once Trefoil wasn't on top of her anymore. "And it's alright."

Rhapsody gave a whistle. "Awkward."

Babar and Stargleam were wiping down the windows while Patch replaced the old, battered window panels with new ones. Rhapsody and Trefoil were painting the walls with a fresh coat of blue paint.

"We're very sorry for what the complete and utter imbeciles we call our friends did, Mr. and Mrs. Barrington," Sharp Eyes said on the ground.

"So what can me and Sharp Eyes do to help?" Heartling asked.

"It's ‘Sharp Eyes and I'."

"Well, perhaps you can rake the leaves," Mr. Barrington said to Heartling. He then spoke to Sharp Eyes. "While you give me some assistance on the roof."

From high up, Trefoil's tail knocked a can of paint off the scaffolding. It plummeted to the ground, set to land near Heartling. "Look out below!" Trefoil called.

Fortunately, it was spotted by Lauren, who ran over and grabbed the falling can before it could splatter paint all over Heartling. "Got it!"

"Thank you, Lauren," Heartling said appreciatively.

It was hard work, but after just a few days, the combined efforts of the ten ponies had resulted in a refurbished house that was as good as new. It stood tall and proud, with its new coat of blue paint indicative of all the improvements that had been made on the inside. The seven boys were grouped together in front of the house.

"I want to thank you all for helping us fix up our house," Mrs. Barrington told them. "Especially little Parker's room!" Lauren's baby brother giggled and gurgled in the cot besides his mother. "Say chestnut, everybody!"

"Chestnut!" the seven friends said in unison before the picture was taken.

Lauren appeared from the side of the house. "It's ready, it's ready!" she called over to them.

"What's ready?" Trefoil asked.

"Just a little surprise," Mrs. Barrington said, escorting the boys over to an area behind the house.

Mr. Barrington was standing next to something tall that had a large red sheet of tarpaulin draped over it. The seven friends' anticipation grew as they itched to know what was under it.

Mr. Barrington pulled away the tarpaulin to reveal what appeared to be a rather small house. It could only have two rooms inside at most. "You like it? It's your new clubhouse," Mr. Barrington said.

"It's magnificent!" Stargleam said. "See, guys? Bet you're glad we helped out now."

"Wow, thanks!" Patch exclaimed.

"Far out… let's have a club meeting!" Rhapsody suggested.

"Can I maybe join your club?" Lauren asked hopefully.

The boys all looked at her. "Oh, yeah, we never did decide if girls can join our club, did we?" Stargleam realized. "What do you guys think?"

"Well, we can't exactly thank the Barringtons by not letting her in, can we?" Heartling pointed out.

"I'd say Lauren's a lot of fun," Patch said. "I'm up for letting her in if you guys are."

The seven of them murmured and nodded. Stargleam turned to Lauren. "Come inside with us."

Stargleam tapped his hoof on the table. "Quiet! Quiet! Come to order," he declared, prompting everyone else to stop talking. "On behalf of all of us, I'd like to welcome Lauren Barrington into our club."

Everyone cheered, and clinked their glasses together. Stargleam looked at Lauren, smiling, indicating for her to join in, which she did, blushing.

"You deserve it!" Heartling said. "You saved my life!"

"She only saved you from getting paint all over you," Patch reminded him.

"Same difference."

"Would you like to say something, Lauren?" Stargleam asked, smiling warmly.

"Yeah, sure! Send the scones over here, please?" Lauren requested.

Patch picked up a basket of scones and passed it left to Rhapsody, who passed it to Babar, who passed it to Sharp Eyes, who passed it to Lauren. Licking her lips, Lauren looked down… only to see the basket was empty. "Uh… what happened to the scones?"

"It was full when I passed them over…" Patch said. Everyone then took note of Babar wiping his mouth clean, then patting his belly.

"What the… how?! There's no possible way!" Sharp Eyes sputtered.

"Babar's appetite doesn't care about logic, Sharp Eyes," Stargleam reminded him. "Pass Lauren the other basket, Patch, but this time to your right."

Patch picked up the other basket and passed it right to Heartling, who passed it to Trefoil, who passed it to Stargleam, who passed it to Lauren.

Finally, without the basket having been intercepted (spitting on the laws of physics in the process), Lauren was able to tuck in. "Thanks a lot!" she said through a mouthful of scone.