It's Amazing How Cognitive A Drunk Pony Can Be
“How about this?”
The small voice with a slightly British accent asked aloud, and the golden colored Pegasus lounging on a couch jolted up. He slipped off, causing a booming laugh from another one of his companions, a gigantic blue earth pony with an auburn mane.
“Aye, I think that’s the one, ya made Magnus downright faint!”
“Rockhoof!” Flash Magnus cried as he picked himself up off the ground, raising his hoof to wave the larger stallion away. “I’m alright!”
There was a soft chuckle as the skinny gray unicorn stallion to whom the voice belonged came out of the dressing room. Stygian Shadowlocke made his way out of the dressing room, wearing a long sleeved, light brown sweater vest with a scarf around his neck. Flash’s face heated up at the admittedly adorable sight.
“W-Well?” Stygian asked, blushing slightly as he looked around at the others.
It wasn’t just Rockhoof and Flash sitting on the couch, waiting for their old friend. Starswirl, Mage Meadowbrook, Mistmane, and Somnambula had all come as well. They had arranged this day months in advance, picking apart each other’s schedules to find the one day they could all meet up in Manehattan and collaborate on a very important decision.
Updating their fashion styles, courtesy of Twilight and her friends, though mostly Rarity, before going to a bar to celebrate.
Everyone else had already taken their turns trying on various outfits while the others gave their opinions.
So far, Starswirl had chosen a dark navy suit with a cape addition that resembled his previous cloak, while Meadowbrook and Mistmane had gone for more casual tops. Somnambula chose a white long-sleeved shirt with a choker necklace. Rockhoof was wearing a light pink shirt and matching headband to pull his long mane out of the way. Flash, meanwhile, had gone with a Wonderbolt hoodie with a red shirt underneath.
Stygian was the last one to pick a new outfit.
“Ah think we’ve got you a winner.” Meadowbrook said. “You look very nice in that!”
“Very author-y.” Somnambula agreed.
“Now that we’ve all chosen our outfits… you know what comes next!” Flash said, thumping Stygian gently on the back.
“I still must admit hesitation to the second part of this plan.” Starswirl began.
“Relax Swirly!” Somnambula grinned at him, her wings flapping. “We don’t have anything important to do tomorrow, we can get wasted! It’ll be fun, I’ve never done that before!”
“Let us be off then, lads and lasses!” Rockhoof cried, and the others eagerly followed his lead, Starswirl muttering to himself as he lagged behind.
The group made their way to the closest Manehattan bar, entering the large building casually, despite the strange looks being sent their way.
“Hey! Flash! Over here guys!” Rainbow Dash’s sharp voice broke through the noise to reach them. Flash smiled and led his friends over, setting a hoof on the table where Rainbow was seated.
“What are you doing here, Dash?”
“Figured since I offered you the bits to pay for the drinks, I might as well join you! Plus the Wonderbolts are practicing for their Manehattan show so I told Spitfire I was getting a lay of the land tonight.” Rainbow replied as the group found seats.
“Well then, let us drink and feast in merriment!” Rockhoof cried, as Rainbow slid them some drinks she had already ordered.
Rockhoof, Meadowbrook, Flash, and Somnambula drank heartily beside Rainbow, while their companions nursed their drinks more cautiously.
“Come on Starswirl, chug it!” Flash laughed, and Rainbow grinned.
“Yeah Beardo, come on!” Rainbow added, smirking as she reached a hoof over to tilt the drink up to the stallion’s mouth.
“I don’t-mmph!” Starswirl was cut off as the rich liquid entered his mouth. He began drinking more heartily than before, though still slowly.
Flash and Rainbow high-hoofed each other, laughing. Neither noticed the way Stygian was observing them quietly as he held his drink. The group then dissolved into separate conversations with each other.
Hours later, the bar was emptied out, and the group of friends were still drinking. Rainbow had already bailed out, as she had a Wonderbolt practice early the next day.
Starswirl had loosened up a bit after his first couple drinks, and was now engaging in a drinking contest with Rockhoof. Meadowbrook and Mistmane were comparing potion making techniques, and Somnambula was laughing at Rockhoof and Starswirl.
Flash had just finished his latest drink -- he’d stopped counting after a while -- when he glanced over and saw a totally wasted looking Stygian flopping onto the table beside Starswirl. Flash got up from his seat and trotted over with barely a stumble to poke Stygian in the side.
“How many drinks did you give him?!” Flash exclaimed, and the others all turned to stare at the drunk unicorn.
“Um… two?” Somnambula said.
“Aye, seems the lad’s a bit of a lightweight.” Rockhoof chuckled.
“I better take him back to the hotel rooms before he blacks out.” Flash said, gently lifting Stygian onto his back.
“You offered quickly.” Meadowbrook said.
“Well, does anyone else want to volunteer?” Flash asked, and they all fell mysteriously silent. “That’s why, leave me alone.”
The others laughed as Flash groaned and carried Stygian out of the bar. He walked alone to the hotel in Manehattan where they were staying.
“Whe’e we going?” Stygian slurred out, regaining consciousness.
“Back to the hotel, you’re drunk.” Flash replied.
“But drinks…”
“You've had enough.”
Stygian then fell silent again, and Flash figured he’d blacked out, continuing down the street towards the hotel.
“Thought you went back with Dash…”
“Why would I go back to the hotel with Rainbow Dash? She’s not even staying there.” Flash replied, as Stygian sat up slightly on his back, his head propped up on top of Flash’s.
“You like her…?”
“Well, yeah, she’s a cool pony.”
“So why didn't you go home with her and kiss her…?” Stygian asked with a slight lisp, and if Flash had been drinking some more beer, he’d have spat it out.
“W-What?”
“You said you liked her…”
“Not like that, Styg!” Flash exclaimed as he looked up at him. “Rainbow Dash is a friend, nothing more, I promise!”
“Well, okay, you don’t hafta shout about it…”
Stygian fell silent again, and Flash, realizing the unicorn had a point, carried him into the hotel without any more conversation. Staying quiet, the pegasus took the small unicorn back up to his room.
“Where’s your room key?” Flash asked.
“Pocket…” Stygian mumbled, and Flash sighed.
Taking the stallion off his back and propping him up against the wall, he grabbed the key from the pocket in the unicorn’s sweater vest. Unlocking the door, he then carried Stygian in and set him on the ground.
“Stay put, I’ll get you some water to help you come to your senses.” Flash said, walking into the hotel room’s bathroom and filling a paper cup with water from the sink.
After returning and giving Stygian the water, he sat by the shorter stallion, who downed the cup of water in one gulp. Flash gently rubbed his back.
“Doing better?” he asked.
“Yeah…” Stygian sighed, rubbing his head as his thoughts began to clear. “Sorry I hounded you about Rainbow Dash…”
“It’s alright.” Flash sighed. “Where did that come from, anyway? You just blurted it out.”
“Oh, well, I was just seeing if I had any competition.” Stygian said, looking away.
“What?!”
“What?” Stygian repeated, staring up at Flash with a horrified expression. “I-I mean… I was kidding… I-I didn’t-”
Flash stayed quiet, looking out the window. “Hey Styg?”
“Y-Yeah…?”
“...Did you know a while after we went into Limbo, there was an entire civil war?”
“There was? About what?”
“...The LGBTQ+ community.”
Stygian stared at him. Then, in almost a whisper, he spoke.
“...Who won?”
“The LGBT ponies won eventually.” Flash replied, smiling at Stygian. “By the way, your sweater vest looks very nice on you.”
“Magnus, don’t you dare change the subject after dropping something like that!”
“I’m not! Your sweater vest actually looks really good on you!” Flash objected, moving closer.
Stygian turned red and backed away slightly. “M-Magnus, I think you’re still drunk.”
“I’m not, I carried you back here just fine.” Flash smiled at Stygian, continuing to move closer to the unicorn, who was blushing heavily.
“M-Magnus…”
“Come on Styg…” Flash leaned down and lifted Stygian’s chin with his own muzzle. “You can’t honestly say you’ve been discreet about it…”
“B-But I-wait, what?”
“Oh come on, in your most recent novel, that one about a group of adventurers like we all used to be, who was the main character’s best friend?”
“A-A… um…”
“A ‘dashing pegasus guard fresh out of Wonderbolt Academy training, ready to defend his charges at all costs’.” Flash chuckled, a scar on his muzzle brushing against Stygian’s chin.
“A-And what’s that got to do with this?”
“He had a golden yellow coat, sky blue eyes, and his mane was ‘as red as a bonfire’.” Flash smirked at Stygian. “Admit it, Stygi, the character was based on me. The only character in the main cast who was based off of any of the Pillars and you chose me.”
Stygian blushed. “I… wait, Stygi?”
“What? Don’t you like it?”
“I… I’ve never heard you give anyone a nickname before…”
“Yeah, well, we’re already changing our styles, we might as well keep up with the times. And ponies give each other affectionate nicknames now.”
Stygian blushed. “I… I kind of like that…”
Flash grinned at him. “I knew you would.”
“S-So… what happens now?”
“Well, I think we should probably kiss.” Flash said.
“What?”
“Well, that’s what you’re supposed to do after you confess your love for someone, right?” Flash asked.
“I-I guess, but that’s moving a bit fast, d-don’t you-mmph!”
Stygian was cut off as Flash’s lips met his, and the two exchanged a deep kiss as the unicorn let the pegasus kiss him. Eventually, they separated, and Stygian stared at Flash in shock.
“...That was my first kiss…”
Flash blushed and chuckled nervously. “D-Did I make it a good one…?”
“It might just be the alcohol talking, but… yes.” Stygian blushed as he looked up at Flash. “So… now that we’ve done that… now what?”
“Well… the others are probably waiting for me to come back to the taver-the bar.” Flash corrected himself mid sentence.
“Oh Celestia, the others!” Stygian stood up, wobbling a bit unsteadily. “What are we going to tell them?”
“Hold on a minute, Styg.” Flash led him over to his bed and gently shoved him down. “I should probably have made you lie down in the first place… but anyway, who says we have to tell them right now?”
“What do you mean?” Stygian asked with a raised brow.
“I mean.” Flash sat down on the bed beside him. “Sure, you like me, and I honestly find you pretty cute,”
Stygian blushed at this, and Flash grinned at the reaction, his pearly white teeth flashing.
“But it’s not like they have to know everything going on with our lives, especially our love lives.”
“Won’t they get suspicious though?”
“Maybe Starswirl or Meadowbrook, yeah, but we don’t have to discuss it casually like we do other things.” Flash shrugged. “Don’t think there’s any rules about what you have to tell your friends.”
“I guess so… I mean, it’s not like we’re going to get married right away…” Stygian agreed after a minute. “Wait… we’re not, right? Like, marriage laws have changed, haven’t they?”
Flash laughed and leaned over to nuzzle him. “You don’t have to marry me just because you kissed me, that’s ridiculous.”
“Oh, good.” Stygian breathed a sigh of relief, staring up at him shyly. “Sorry… you know I worry a lot…”
“We’ve been friends for about a hundred thousand years by now, I’d like to think I know you pretty well.” Flash agreed, smiling. “You’re cute when you worry though, your muzzle wrinkles up and your eyes get big.”
Stygian blushed and hid his face, which Flash just laughed at, moving the blushing stallion’s hoof to see his face again.
“You want to go to sleep now? You’ve had a lot of alcohol for a lightweight.” Flash teased gently, and Stygian blushed, but nodded.
“Sleep sounds good…”
“Then come on, before I pillow-fight you into submission.” Flash warned with a grin.
Stygian laughed, tugging his new outfit off and dropping it at the end of the bed with his magic. Flash pulled off his own hoodie and undershirt, tossing them beside Stygian’s outfit. Stygian then rolled over to face Flash, who immediately pulled the smaller stallion into his hooves and ruffled his bowl cut styled mane.
“Well, come on, let’s sleep.” Flash urged, laying his head down on the pillow and closing his eyes.
“...You’re staying?”
His eyes cracked open again, noticing the small unicorn stallion staring up at him with wide eyes. Flash chuckled; this just proved his point, Stygian was adorable when he worried.
“No Stygi, I’m getting comfortable in the bed because I’m going to magically teleport myself into my own room.” Flash smirked at the stallion, who blushed sheepishly. “Go to sleep, you silly colt.”
Stygian blushed and smiled, closing his eyes as he sank into Flash’s warm embrace. The two stallions then fell asleep, each holding the other close.
They both knew that the next morning, despite the number of drinks Flash had had, and the ease with which Stygian got drunk, they would both remember this moment quite vividly.
And neither had any complaints.
