crowded Together, like Leaves
The first time we kissed, it was right after we did the Running of the Leaves.
Wasn’t our first run together. Wasn’t our last one either. Don’t know which one it is now. Reckoned it happened somewhere in between, sometime after Twilight became Princess. Shucks, I guess we’ve signed up so many times that it’s hard to keep track.
Sure, we were competitive once. Not like how we used to the first time ‘round, ’course not, but we were still challenging each other. It became tradition, something we do every year together. We do mix it up now and then, but I think one day we just decided to enjoy the run. No challenges, no twists or turns. We just ran for the fun of it.
Y’know, looking back, I remembered thinking there was something strange about watching Rainbow Dash run. Guess I was so used to her flying that seeing her running beside me back then was the weirdest thing. Knowing her, she could go anywhere she wants to go, do anything she wants to do. Hay, she’s one of the best that ever did it. Still is.
We did one extra lap. There were some trees ‘round the bend that the runners missed. Dash wanted to race me one last time, so I thought I’d humour her.
Sprained my hoof on the way there. Ain’t surprising, s’what happens when you’ve been bucking apples from sunrise to sundown the day before. Not exactly the sorta chore you’d wanna put yourself through when you have a big race tomorrow.
Rainbow did most of the work in the end. I did tell her to fly to make things faster but she ain’t having none of it. Said something about wanting to do it properly, like how we would’ve done it anyhow. Don’t make it any less strange watching her gallop about though.
The sun was setting by the time she was done. She worked herself up into a mighty sweat. I remembered wanting to tell her how she didn’t need to do that, how she could’ve made her life easier and just flew past all the trees instead.
That’s when she took my hat off and gave me a kiss.
Our very first kiss.
Right on my forehead.
Okay, look, I know it ain’t much, alright? Rainbow says it doesn’t count either. And maybe she’s right, maybe it’s just my Apple sensibilities speaking. Maybe a kiss on the head doesn’t count.
But to me, it counts. And that’s good enough.
You know what’s funny? When she did that, I remembered thinking to myself that Rainbow’s a good kisser. I think it was because of how… un-Rainbow-like it was? I dunno, it was very soft, very light. Not something I thought she could do back then.
I asked her why she did it on the way home. And the reason she gave’s pretty much what you’d expect.
“Dunno. ‘Cause I felt like it, I guess.”
The first time we kissed, the actual one, was right after a Wonderbolts show in Vanhoover.
Okay, so I know AJ’s gonna tell you about the one that happened right after the Running of the Leaves, but that one doesn’t count. It was a kiss on the head, I felt like doing it, and we weren’t crazy about each other at the time. Least, I think we weren’t.
Alright, so maybe I was. A little bit. And mayyybbeee that kiss might’ve started something in her? Like, if I didn’t do it, we wouldn’t be here in the first place. I mean, it makes sense if it did, seeing how she’s so hung up about it.
Still, it doesn’t count.
She can say all she wants about it but it doesn’t count.
But anyways, we were doing the show. And AJ just so happened to be in town at the time. Go figure huh? Apparently, she was there to sell some zap apple jams from the farm. Usually, Big Mac would be the one doing it but he and Sugars were expecting their foal to come any day now. Can’t blame the big softie for wanting to be by her side when it happens.
So yeah, AJ came over. She thought to stop by and check in on me during a signing. And don’t tell AJ I said this, but it was kinda weird seeing her there. She looked super out of place, like she made a wrong turn somewhere along the way and got lost. I mean, every one of my friends would look out of place, but AJ in particular. Can’t really imagine her coming to a show like this if I’m not there in the first place.
It wasn’t hard to spot her too. Don’t know why AJ thought bringing her wagon full of stuff with her into the stadium was a great idea. You know what’s funny though? She had the whole team sign her wagon when she came in. What’s funnier is that I don’t think AJ even wanted their autographs in the first place! I guess when they started doing it, she couldn’t say no!
Heh, but yeah, because it was the last show of the tour, AJ waited for me to finish so that we could go back to Ponyville together. Don’t know for how long, the signings usually take about an hour to get through, but she did spend a time selling her jams to ponies outside the stadium, so I think everything turned out well.
And then it started raining.
So, change of plans! We took shelter in the stadium, right? Just waiting for it to tide over in the locker rooms with nothing else to do except talk or something, I don’t know.
Applejack was trying her best to dry her mane. I had a brush on me so I thought maybe I could help. She insisted she could do it herself, like she always does with these kinds of things. But I wasn’t having it, of course! I wanted to help her! I mean, why wouldn’t I?
And then, it just sorta happened.
I was right in front of her, combing her bangs. Which was hard to do by the way ‘cause she kept fidgeting the whole time! Keep asking her to sit still, but she wouldn’t listen! Looking back, it probably didn’t help that I was all up in her face while I was doing that. I mean, anyone would, let’s be real here, but she most definitely would.
Then Applejack just went ahead and… just did it.
She moved forward and kissed me on the lips.
It wasn’t even a short one either! It took like… I think it took like... okay, I don’t know how long it took exactly, but it felt long. I didn’t know what to do when it happened! Like, she wasn’t moving, I wasn’t moving, our lips weren’t moving. It was just happening! I was just letting it happen.
Hay, I don’t think she even knew she was doing it because the moment we stopped, she...
She started crying. She started apologising for it. Saying that she didn’t know what got over her. That she didn’t mean to do it. That it should never have happened and it wouldn’t have if she wasn’t around.
But I think what hurt the most wasn’t any of that.
What hurt the most was her deciding that, without caring about what I think, for the sake of our friendship, she had to lie.
Even if she’s terrible at it, she had to.
For her sake. For mine.
So I did what I had to do.
I told her to stop lying.
That’s when we kissed for the second time.
Rainbow Dash was a terrible kisser.
I don’t know how to even describe what she did. She was just… pushing her mouth into me? Could’ve sworn she’d chafe my lips at one point. At some point, I think she wanted to bring her tongue into it, and I’m just… Miss Butterlips can’t even do a lasso right and here she is, trying to wrangle the bull by the horns?
She eventually worked her way up to it though.
We both did.
By the way, those don’t count, right? Practice shouldn’t count.
Anywho, the fourth time we kissed—third if you asked Rainbow, but no one’s asking—was when we’re at Twilight’s palace during one of them Council of Friendship meetings we’d always have.
We were still keeping things between us secret at that point. Among all our friends, I think only Rarity might’ve known what was going on. Every time I headed over to chat, she would keep bringing up Rainbow Dash. Like “Oh, how’s Rainbow Dash doing lately~?” or ”Oh, I’m sure Rainbow Dash would love this dress, darling~!”. Hay, like I’d know every second of where that mare was. Not that I want to either. Can’t have too much of a good thing, I say.
Come to think of it, Rarity was also the one that brought it up, in fact! We were all just sitting there, having a normal conversation about normal Council of Friendship stuff, when she suddenly started talking about hearing rumours about us being together.
Now, look, I don’t know where she might’ve heard it from. I’m guessing Apple Bloom and Scootaloo might’ve figured it out and told Sweetie Belle, who then asked Rarity about it? Either way, I don’t know why in her right mind she thought to bring it up during something as official as this, but she did, so it happened.
Apparently, Pinkie and Spike were the only ones surprised by it. Turns out Twilight and Fluttershy both have expected us to get together at some point.
‘Course, Rainbow didn’t want to admit it at first. She still wanted to keep things on the down low. Told me after the fact that she didn’t want anypony else thinking anything less of me once word gets out, ‘specially since she’s a Wonderbolt and all, bless her heart.
So Rarity then had the brightest idea by telling her that if there really wasn’t anything official between us, it would be fine if she dragged me over and kissed me herself. Right there, in front of everypony else.
It was the oldest trick in the book, Rainbow knew that.
But at that moment, I don’t think she cared.
Instead, that crazy mare just snatched me away before anypony could do anything, flew up into the air while carrying me in her hooves and, in front of everyone, dropped her lips towards mine for a kiss.
I remembered just being annoyed that she just decided to do that without warning me. Shoot, I think I scolded her once she put me down. Don’t remember what I said to her, just that it happened.
But looking back at it now, all I can say is that I’m glad that all that practice turned out to be good for something after all.
I think it’s safe to say we both lost count from this point onward.
Once we came out and made it official, it just became something we’d do whenever we had the chance to. And it doesn’t have to lead into anything either. Sometimes, we kiss just to greet each other. Sometimes, we kiss whenever one of us is feeling down. Sometimes, we kiss because we’re bored and there’s nothing else to do.
I probably would’ve kept track of them if I tried really hard. I think Applejack could give an estimate if you’d ask her. You know what, maybe I should ask her about it too.
Of course, there were a few times where it was more than that. Most of it was good. Some of them’s really good, though I’m sure AJ’ll have my head if I go too far into those.
Though I guess there was one especially that was…
I don’t even know if I should mention it…
But it did happen. And I think… I think we both realised now that it was going to happen eventually, but when the time came, I guess we just…
I don’t know.
Where do I even start?
I remembered it was raining that evening.
We were doing chores around the farm, Rainbow and I. She was supposed to head to the Wonderbolts Academy once we were done. Something about running over flight routines with the team or something. The storm was already picking up then, quite a big one too. I did tell her to head out earlier and leave the rest of the work to me before it hits, but you know how Rainbow is. Ain’t leaving unless everything’s done.
In the end, she had to stay over for the night until the storm blew over.
I remembered thinking that she could’ve been at the Academy right now. Like, she could be coming up with new tricks for the air shows. Maybe run a few laps across the sky, race with some of her teammates. You know, chase her dreams, doing what she does best!
Instead, she’s stuck here with me.
And I think that’s exactly when I started noticing it.
Applejack asked me one evening if I was fine.
Of course I was fine. I mean, why wouldn’t I be, spending time with my marefriend? Yeah, sure, the farmwork’s pretty tiring and all, and if I had a choice, I’d rather not do it at all, but that’s how it is, right? Comes with the mare I’m dating.
So yeah, I didn’t think anything was wrong with that, so I told her that yeah, I was.
But then, she looks at me with this… frown, I think. Not a serious one, like I’d said or done something wrong, but, like, a sad one. Like there was something that I said just now that worried her. And seeing her like that, I began to get worried as well! Right? Like, who wouldn’t be worried, seeing her marefriend suddenly act this way?
So I asked her if there was something wrong. If there was something bothering her, or if I said or did something wrong.
She didn’t say anything.
She just smiled and shook her head.
And I don’t know why, but looking back at it now, I just… I didn’t think much of it. I thought maybe whatever’s on her mind wasn’t anything too serious for me to worry about, and that maybe she’ll come out and tell me in time.
And in a way, I was right.
I was the one who wanted to break up with her.
It was the obvious choice to me at that point. Rainbow was too blindly in love with me to see what was going on, what she was doing to herself. She could’ve been doing anything she wanted, but instead, every chance she gets, she chooses to be with me when she could be doing something more productive.
And I know it’s selfish to think that, I know it is! But I couldn’t stand the idea that I was dragging her down from where she belonged. That I was holding her back from doing all the great things she could be doing.
That just ain’t right with me. It ain’t. And I just...
I just couldn’t do that to her anymore.
I was angry.
Of course I was angry.
We could’ve talked about it. At any point, we could’ve ran things over, talked about where things went wrong. You know, figured things out between us.
No, instead, she’d already made her decision without me.
Without asking about what I think, without stopping to wonder whether or not this was really for my sake or for hers, she decided to end it on her own.
I tried to make her think otherwise. To give us a second chance and sort things out. I even apologised for coming off too strong! But she was having none of it. She said she needed some space for herself, and that the best thing for me was to go off and do whatever it is I actually wanted to do. As if she gets to decide what that even is in the first place.
And then, it just... sorta happened.
I went up to kiss her.
We didn’t even last a second before she shoved me away and yelled at me to leave.
It shouldn’t have happened.
We both knew it shouldn’t have happened.
But it did.
We didn’t talk to each other for a long while after that. Didn’t really see her around town either. Figured she was spending most of her time at the Academy after what happened. Can’t say I blame her, considering what I did.
The others had wondered what happened to us. They kept asking us questions, many which we at the time didn’t have any good answers for. At some point, Rainbow told them that we had decided to take a break and just focus on our work for the moment. Which was the truth in a way, sure. Just wasn’t a complete one.
I guess looking back at everything, it wasn’t right, what I did. Fact was, I was thinking too little of Rainbow in the first place. That I even considered she would set her dreams aside solely for me was reckless in the first place. After all, Dash has always been the kind of a mare who’d fight to have her cake and eat it too. And, watching her in those airshows of hers, it would be a fight she’d always win.
Maybe some part of me was terrified that she’d do exactly that. Maybe some part of me was afraid that she could do something so great, I’ll forever be stuck underneath her shadow. Maybe the breakup was my way of coping with that, of sticking it to her before she could do it to me.
I had been stupid and hurtful, in the worst way possible.
So I guess the question for me then is: where did I go from here?
The last time we kissed?
Applejack sent a letter straight to the academy. Said she wanted to meet up somewhere outside of Ponyville to talk. I thought it couldn’t hurt to hear her out, so I went with it.
Yeah, we met up. We talked things over. Still talking things over, officially. She apologised about a couple of things, I apologised as well. We caught up on each other’s lives, had a serious chat about how things are going to be between us from here on out, made some promises between each other, said some other stuff and…
I don’t know, it’s just nice to see her face again.
And when we were done, AJ left me with a kiss.
Right on my forehead.
That counted, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess it did. Funny how it works.
All I’ll say is that whatever the next kiss is going to be like, I can’t wait to be there when it happens.
And from the looks of it, neither can she.
Author's Note
