Only a Filly

by Apple Bottoms

Rating: everyone
Tags: Twilight Velvet, Adventure, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Cozy Glow
Length: 4583

The last thing Cozy Glow knew, she was about to be stoned; suddenly, she's in a mountain cabin, with Twilight Velvet asking her to color. What's the meaning of this?! Is Cozy Glow going to be ... redeemed? Or punished?!

The last thing Cozy Glow knew, she was about to be stoned; suddenly, she's in a mountain cabin, with Twilight Velvet asking her to color. What's the meaning of this?! Is Cozy Glow going to be ... redeemed? Or punished?!

Twilight Velvet knows one thing that her daughter Princess Twilight Sparkle has forgotten; that Cozy Glow might be a wannabe despot, a power-hungry pegasus who allied herself with Chrysalis and Tirek, but in the end ... she was only a filly. Twilight Velvet is determined to see just what kind of filly Cozy Glow really is, at her core. But can she be saved? Or is Cozy Glow truly irredeemable?

Written for the 2021 Cozy Glow Short Story Contest, for the prompt of "Cozy makes an unusual friend."

Contest: The 2021 Cozy Glow Short Story Contest

Second Place winner!

Published 2021-09-20 04:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-09-20 04:00:00 UTC

The Smell of Cedar

Cozy Glow jerked to alertness, eyes wild.

The last thing she remembered was the sensation of her body slowly turning cold and stiff; starting from her legs, working its way up to her midsection, freezing her ribcage so that she couldn’t draw another breath before the magic worked its way up to -

Cozy Glow thrashed, fighting off the magic that entangled her, only to find herself tangled in sheets instead. She drew a deep breath - and then another, shaking, realizing that she was not stone. Not anymore, anyway.

It was a long moment before she could make her eyes work properly, scanning the small room she was in instead of bouncing in a panic from wall to wall. It was small, that was certain; it had none of the cute wallpaper of her bedroom at home, nor any of the toys and posters. The walls were a plain wood grain, and everything smelled faintly of cedar. That might be the chest at the foot of her little bed - large and rectangular - or the little bureau that stood in the opposite corner. There was a mirror, and a little desk, with a little chair; but otherwise, the theme of the room seemed to be wood and impersonality. Anyone could have lived here.

Cozy Glow sat for a moment, then gave her face a little pat-pat, just to make sure that she wasn’t stone. Well, nothing for it; if this was the afterlife, she supposed it was time to face whatever was behind that door. And there was someone behind the door; she could see a yellow light limning the outline of the door, and something smelled. A nice smell, she thought. Maybe food.

Her stomach gave a rumble, and she wondered if hunger was part of the afterlife.

Cozy Glow paused before the door, her mind running wild over the implications that a door in the netherworld could have, and finally pushed it open with tiny hooves.

The door opened into a somewhat large room; it simply seemed smaller, she realized, because every room in a regular house had been crammed into one. One corner was a kitchen, with a fat pot-bellied stove and a tall pipe going up to the ceiling, and the other side had a fireplace and sofa, like a little sitting room. The walls seemed to be made of huge logs, and the floor was wood too, but covered with lots of kitschy little rugs. There were windows, but they were small, made of thick, wavy glass. It was nothing like Cozy had ever seen before, and it took a moment for her thirsty eyes to register that there was another pony there, working over the stovetop.

Cozy Glow gasped and recoiled, dropping into a defensive stance for an attack that never came.

The pony turned to look at her - a unicorn, disgusting - and offered her a little smile. Despite her suspicions, Cozy couldn’t deny that it was a very comforting smile. “Oh, hello there, little one. I wondered when you might wake up. Are you hungry?”

“Am I dead?”

The unicorn looked startled, and a little laugh escaped her as she shook her head. “Oh - no, no, you’re not dead. You’re fine. Do you want to come over to the table to sit, or come and help me make pancakes?”

Cozy Glow considered her, then slowly made her way to the table, sitting on a table made of - what else? - more wood. “Who are you?”

The purple unicorn turned to offer her another smile, before she had to return her attention to the pancakes. “My name is Twilight Velvet. I don’t believe we’ve ever met.”

“Why aren’t I stone?” Cozy Glow asked, her brows heavy in her tiny face.

Twilight Velvet faltered. “Well … because I saved you.”

Cozy Glow squinted at Twilight Velvet. “Why? Are you Chrysalis?”

Twilight Velvet laughed again, and shook her head gently, transferring some pancakes to a plate. “No, no. I’m just … someone who saw something wrong was happening. I felt I had to do something, before everypony made a big mistake.”

“Well, the only mistake you made,” Cozy Glow grinned wickedly, “was freeing ME! And now I’m FREE! To CONQUER EQUESTRIA! HEHEHEHE!!” And off she zoomed, out the unlocked front door, flying on tiny wings to escape and conquer -

Trees. Lots of trees. More trees than Cozy had ever seen, actually.

Cozy Glow came to a confused halt, and slowly turned in circles, looking out over what must be hundreds of miles of trees.

“We’re on top of the Mare’s Side,” Twilight Velvet called evenly from the doorway, where she stirred another bowl of pancake mix with her magic as she watched Cozy Glow spin in place. “It’s a mountain range, if you’ve heard of it. We’re a very long way from Ponyville - from anywhere, really.”

Cozy Glow turned back to look at the purple unicorn, and the small cabin she stood in. That’s what it was, wasn’t it; not some kind of wood fanatic’s home, but a cabin, like a proper log cabin, out in the middle of the woods. And not just the Everfree Forest kind of woods that you could see the edges of from town; the kind of woods you could go missing in and never be found again.

“Did you bring me here to kill me?” Cozy Glow asked flatly, her eyes narrowed.

“What? No!”

“Because no one would see you do it out here - but I don’t think anyone would care. They were going to turn me to stone anyway.” Cozy Glow noted, a little impatiently. “I don’t appreciate the extra trickery!”

“No - Cozy, I’m not going to harm you.” Twilight Velvet frowned. “I’m going to save you.”

[***]

“Save me?”

“Please come inside, if you’re done seeing the forest; the pancakes are getting cold.” Twilight Velvet called, and turned away, still mixing.

Cozy Glow considered her options for a moment, considered the vastness of the forest, then fluttered back inside on tiny wings. She considered Twilight Velvet for another moment - back turned, focused on her pancakes - and resettled herself at the table.

“There we are. I imagine you’re hungry; you slept a long time.” Twilight Velvet placed a plate of pancakes in front of her, and placed a bottle of syrup beside it. “I hope you like syrup.”

“Syrup’s fine.” Cozy Glow mumbled, and gave her pancakes a drizzle before she took a perfunctory bite. She found herself wolfing down the pancakes instead, their flavor suddenly irresistible. She was right; Cozy was hungry.

By the time Cozy Glow looked up from her plate, Twilight Velvet had taken a seat opposite her at the table, and was enjoying her breakfast at a far more leisurely pace. There was a plate of pancakes between them, and Cozy Glow eyed them.

“You can take some more, if you’re still hungry. It’s just us eating today.” Twilight Velvet smiled, and pushed the plate towards her. Cozy Glow didn’t need to be told twice.

“So,” Cozy Glow asked at last, using the last bite of her pancake to sop up the syrup, “what do you mean, save me?”

Twilight Velvet offered Cozy Glow a smile that looked a little tired, she thought, and she brushed some of her forelock behind one ear. It was a nice forelock, a white and purple striped pattern, and it went nicely with her silvery coat. Cozy was good at noticing these things; she had to be, in her line of business. “Well, I don’t know that it’s got a … clear guideline, exactly.”

Cozy Glow’s eyes narrowed sharply. “What?”

“Well, I already saved you from turning to stone, but that was the easy part, I think.”

“It was easy to save me from - no, I want to hear about the hard part.” Cozy began, sarcastically, but rapidly shifted to her interrogation mode. “What are you saving me from? The forest? Are we trapped here?”

Twilight Velvet smiled at her, a little sadly. “No, Cozy. From yourself.”

Cozy Glow stared at her for a moment, then barked out a harsh, mean laugh. It was a mockery kind of laugh; it was the kind of laugh she hoped to use on the Young Six again, one day. “Oh, that’s rich! What do I need to be saved from? I’m doing GREAT. I was on the path to running Equestria, if those stupid creatures hadn’t -”

“If you hadn’t been turned to stone?”

Cozy Glow’s bravado faltered. “Yes, well, I would have - would have gotten out of it, eventually.”

“No, Cozy Glow. You wouldn’t have.” Twilight Velvet considered her, her brows heavy, and gave a little sigh. “You would have been effectively dead.”

“Well, I - not really dead,” Cozy Glow began, but her heart began racing a little bit, remembering the way her ribcage had frozen, how it had felt when her last breath caught in her lungs, trapped, “just stone for a little bit, until - un-til - unt - what’s happening?” Cozy Glow demanded, her breath suddenly coming in short, panicked gasps. “Did you spell me, unicorn?!”

“No, Cozy.” Twilight Velvet rose from her seat and quickly came to Cozy Glow’s side, wrapping her in a hug. “You’re feeling scared. Take a deep breath with me, okay? Deep breath in -”

Cozy gasped for air wildly, but the deep breathing next to her managed to steady her, somehow, and her breathing became a little less panicked.

“ - and deep sigh out. Deep breath in - deep sigh out. You’re alright.” There was a hoof on Cozy’s head now, brushing over her curls; despite herself, Cozy found her own shaky forelegs coming up to mirror the unicorn’s hold, and she hugged her tightly in return, as if she was the only safe refuge Cozy had left. Maybe that was true.

Twilight Velvet guided Cozy Glow through her breathing for several long minutes until her breathing evened out, and even then, Cozy Glow didn’t feel the desire to push her away. Not yet, anyway; despite herself, Cozy enjoyed the slow, gentle way that Twilight Velvet moved her hoof over her mane.

“Are you feeling better, Cozy?”

“I was always fine.” Cozy Glow snapped, and pushed herself away from Twilight Velvet sharply. She immediately regretted it, but she didn’t know how to say that; instead, she glared at the unicorn, and climbed off of her chair. “So what are we supposed to do now?”

“Well,” Twilight Velvet had risen to her hooves once more, her momentary sorrow fading, “there’s lots to do to keep the cabin running. We’re about due for some new wood; do you want to come with me and help gather some?”

“Is the alternative ‘sit at the cabin and watch time pass’?” Cozy Glow grumbled.

“Yes.” Twilight Velvet grinned.

“Then I guess I’m coming.”

[***]

Gathering wood, in stories, always sounded like fun, whimsical work; instead, Cozy Glow found herself stumbling along in the woods almost an hour later, burdened down with so many sticks and logs that she couldn’t even fly.

“You could just use your magic, you know,” Cozy snapped into the silence, “and we wouldn’t have to do this.”

“I thought you didn’t like magic?” Twilight Velvet replied, her own back also burdened with rough-hewn logs.

“I - I don’t! Not unless - I’m the one who gets to control it!” Cozy snapped, and took a few trotting steps forward, her scowl set.

“Why’s that?”

“Why’s what?” Cozy snapped again, already tired and grumpy.

“Why don’t you like magic? But you also want magic?” Twilight Velvet asked evenly, her tone one of polite bafflement. “That seems confusing.”

“Magic is - magic is power! And power is - everything!” Cozy Glow ground out, as if explaining to a very small foal.

“Who told you that?”

Cozy Glow stopped dead in her tracks.

It took Twilight Velvet a moment to realize her young charge had stopped, and she carefully turned around, so as not to upset the logs. “Cozy Glow?”

“I’ve … I’ve just always known that.” Cozy Glow said at last, but her scowl wasn’t grumpy or frustrated this time, but more like a mask, an expression she felt she ought to be wearing. Why was she supposed to be frowning, again? The reasons suddenly felt so far away.

“That’s a long time to know something.” Twilight Velvet replied, agreeing, but still politely confused. “Were you born knowing that?”

“Of - of course! Everyone knows that!” Cozy Glow snapped, some of her thoughts returning to her, and her scowl became a little more secure.

“I don’t know that.” Twilight Velvet disagreed, but gently. “I think that some magic can be very strong, but great leaders aren’t chosen just because they have magic.”

“I think you have a very confused view of the world, then.” Cozy Glow sneered, and began walking again, a little more resolute this time.

“Alright, maybe I do. Why do you have to be powerful, specifically?”

Cozy Glow scowled. “Everyone wants to be powerful, duh.”

“That’s not true. I don’t want to be.” Twilight Velvet disagreed again, but she’d also resumed her walk, following Cozy Glow back to the cabin. “My friends don’t want to rule Equestria.”

“Well - you already have magic.” Cozy countered.

“That’s true. Magic can be a very useful tool. But so can flying; I’ve never had wings, and I’d like to fly.” Twilight Velvet pointed out, nodding to the small pair of wings folded on Cozy Glow’s back beneath the twig bundle.

Cozy Glow opened her mouth, then closed it. She hadn’t considered that. “Well - magic can make you fly, right?”

“Oh, I’m sure some of it can. I haven’t tried, myself; it’s very difficult magic, or so I hear.” Twilight Velvet responded agreeably, adjusting the wood on her back as she walked. “Flying sounds quite lovely.”

“Flying … is nice.” Cozy Glow agreed, her frown deepening.

“Do you think it would be very nice,” Twilight Velvet began, “if I decided that I didn’t want pegasi to fly, because I couldn’t?”

“No, but sometimes being nice isn’t as important as being powerful!” Cozy Glow snapped, tossing an angry look over her shoulder at Twilight Velvet. She could easily see the comparison that Twilight Velvet was drawing - she was trying to make her feel guilty about sapping the magic of Equestria!

“Ah, I see. So, does being powerful make you feel good, then?”

Cozy Glow’s angry look shifted to confusion. “What? Of course it does. Power is amazing. Power is everything.”

“I see, I see. So - power is like having a friend? Do you have a lot of friends, when you have power?”

Cozy Glow’s confusion only deepened. “What? You - no, the point of power is that you don’t need other ponies.”

“What’s wrong with needing other ponies?”

“What’s - are you a dumb-dumb?” Cozy Glow laughed, but it was the mean laugh again. “Other ponies let you down. Every time. Just like Tirek and Chrysalis let me down! You can only rely on yourself, completely.”

“Well, that sounds lonely.”

Cozy Glow huffed out a noise through her nose, and walked a little faster so she could put some distance between herself and Twilight Velvet. “This conversation is dumb.”

[***]

Cozy Glow knew what was waiting for her back at the cabin, once Twilight Velvet caught up to her. She would be smacked for her backtalk, sent to her room without dinner, or maybe just a screaming lecture about what a failure she was, how she’d never amount to anything. Maybe Twilight Velvet was more of a yeller; or maybe she’d just turn her to stone and be done with it.

“Would you like to color with me?”

Cozy Glow froze, and stared at Twilight Velvet. She’d dropped the wood inside the cabin, just beside the door, and now she was rummaging in a bag. Cozy Glow expected some kind of striking implement to come out, but instead she pulled out a couple of soft-bound books, and some crayons.

“You don’t have to.” Twilight Velvet added, and took her place at the table, lifting a crayon in her hoof. “But I think I will. I like coloring.”

Cozy Glow considered her for a moment, considered the coloring, and stood in uncomfortable silence. “Coloring is for babies.” She announced, abruptly, waiting for the inevitable angry reaction.

“I don’t think that’s true. There’s many famous artists who were adults. Ponet, for example.” Twilight Velvet kept her eyes on her page, working steadily with a blue crayon.

“Why aren’t you yelling at me?”

Twilight Velvet looked genuinely surprised, and turned to look at Cozy Glow, her crayon still held aloft. “What do you mean?”

“I -” Cozy Glow felt an uncomfortable itchy feeling creeping over her skin, and she shook out her curly mane to try and banish it. “You’re - you’re the grown up, so you punish me when I’m bad. I - I called you a dumb-dumb.”

Twilight Velvet frowned. “I know you did. It hurt my feelings. But I don’t think punishing you would solve that, would it?”

Cozy Glow blinked twice, rapidly; Twilight Velvet might as well have been speaking in Seaponish, for all she understood. “But - but that’s what you do.”

“What I do? Or what grown-ups do?” Twilight Velvet countered, but gently, and rose from the table. The motion made Cozy Glow flinch, expecting a sharper reaction, and she inwardly berated herself as Twilight Velvet came to kneel beside her on the floor.

“I’m not going to punish you, Cozy Glow.” Twilight Velvet spoke to her, very softly, and somehow that was almost worse for Cozy Glow, waiting for the yelling that was sure to follow. “If you do something that is bad, then we will talk about it. No punishment.”

“But - but that doesn’t make sense.” Cozy Glow whispered, her voice suddenly tight. “I was - bad.”

“I think we had a conversation about a lot of big topics,” Twilight Velvet replied, and her hoof was light where it stroked Cozy Glow’s shoulder, “and sometimes big topics can get scary. Sometimes it’s scary to think about … why we feel the way we feel. Change is scary.”

“I’m not changing!” Cozy Glow snapped, but she was trembling under Twilight Velvet’s hoof.

“Oh, Cozy; everyone changes.” Twilight Velvet’s voice was low and soothing as she stroked Cozy’s shoulder. “I’ve changed. Changing is a normal part of growing up. You’re still just a little filly.”

Cozy Glow went still. That was true, she supposed. But why did it feel like something she needed to disagree with? She supposed she’d been so busy with her plans to take over the School of Friendship, and her team-up with Tirek and Chrysalis, it just didn’t … leave a lot of time to play dress-up or pretend. When she watched the other little ponies playing in the schoolyard, she’d always focused on how to use their games to earn their friendship and make them easier to control, not on the supposed enjoyment of pretending to be dragons, or whatever games foals played.

But she was a foal, she realized suddenly. That was a strange realization to come to.

Twilight Velvet let Cozy Glow sit in her silence for a long moment, before she gently stroked her foreleg. “Would you like to come and color with me?”

Cozy Glow stared at her, her expression lost. “I … I don’t know.”

“That’s okay. How about you come and sit with me, and you can watch me color? If you think it looks fun, you can join in.” Twilight Velvet’s voice was soothing, gentle, and her hooves were equally gentle when she helped lift Cozy Glow up from the floor.

“Okay.” Cozy Glow agreed, quietly, allowing herself to be guided to the table. She sat, and Twilight Velvet took her place on the opposite side, and Cozy Glow watched her begin to color again, all while a dull sort of ringing filled her ears.

Dozens of thoughts raced through her head, their sheer volume and confusing contradictions batting at her like a tiny boat lost at sea, massive waves crushing her from every turn with no relief in sight. Cozy Glow was bad, and she needed to be punished; the only way to escape that punishment was to be more powerful than the people who wanted to punish her. But Twilight Velvet was stronger than her, and she wasn’t punishing her; she was gentle with her, and treated her kindly. Magic was supposed to bring her power, but it had gotten her banished to Tartarus, and then turned to stone. Friendship was supposed to bring her power, but her friends had turned on her. But Twilight Velvet was kind to her, even when she didn’t try to trick her into being her friend, and she kept doing nice things. Adults were supposed to yell and punish, but Twilight Velvet said they shouldn’t. But that’s how things always were, and were meant to be! But now they weren’t? If adults weren’t there to punish, then what was to stop her from being bad? But being bad to Twilight Velvet made her feel bad, made her stomach knot up like she was going to vomit up her pancakes, and the vomit feeling made her think about her ribcage, turning to stone, trapping her breath in frozen lungs forever, forever and ever, never going to breathe again -

“Cozy, what’s wrong?”

Cozy Glow hadn’t been aware of getting out of her chair, and wasn’t sure when she’d buried her face in Twilight Velvet’s side. Her coat was warm, and smelled faintly of some kind of spice that Cozy couldn’t place.

“I don’t know.” Cozy spoke softly, her voice muffled in her silver coat.

“Can you tell me what you’re feeling?” A hoof came to rest on the back of Cozy’s head, stroking her tenderly.

“Bad.” Cozy Glow whispered.

“What kind of bad?” Twilight Velvet spoke softly.

“I don’t know.” Cozy Glow repeated, and closed her eyes tightly, hiding her face all the more snugly in Twilight Velvet’s side. Her forelegs had come to wrap around her waist, at some point, and she held the unicorn tightly. “Confused.”

“Feeling confused can be very scary.” Twilight Velvet agreed. “It’s okay to be scared. But you’re safe here, Cozy Glow. I’ll keep you safe.”

Cozy Glow finally lifted her head, staring up at Twilight Velvet with large, glassy eyes. “I was mean to you.”

Twilight Velvet offered her a small smile. “That’s true.”

“And I - it feels bad. I feel … bad for it.” Cozy Glow sniffled.

Twilight Velvet nodded, and smoothed down her curls with one hoof. “I see. When you feel bad for hurting someone, it’s good to tell them that.”

“Why?”

“Well, so that they know that … you regret it. You can also tell them you’re sorry, and that you’ll try not to hurt them again.” Twilight Velvet nodded to her encouragingly, and gave her curls another stroke. “If you mean it, that is.”

Cozy Glow considered her for a moment, and sniffled. “I don’t know if I’m sorry. I’ve … I’ve said sorry before, but I didn’t … feel bad. Like this.”

“That’s okay, Cozy Glow.” Twilight Velvet murmured, and leaned close to her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head, between her ears. “I appreciate knowing that you feel bad for it.”

“Why? Do you like to make me feel bad?” Cozy asked, a little hopefully. This much, at least, made sense.

“What? No!” Twilight Velvet’s brows lifted sharply. “I appreciate it because it means you feel empathy for me. That you regret doing it, so maybe you won’t do it again. I would like it if you didn’t do it again, because it hurt my feelings.”

Cozy Glow sniffed again, and nodded, very slightly. “Okay. I’ll … I’ll try.” But she looked uneasy. “I don’t know if … if I can, though. It’s … it just comes out, sometimes.”

“That’s alright. Everypony makes mistakes. It’s how we move on from those mistakes that matter.” Twilight Velvet crooned, and drew Cozy Glow a little closer, stroking her cheek. “All we can do is our best.”

Cozy Glow wasn’t sure why, but she felt better. So she nodded against her side, and leaned close to Twilight Velvet for a long, quiet moment.

“If you want,” Twilight Velvet said at length, “we can still color together.”

And somehow, coloring didn’t sound as stupid as it had a few minutes ago. So despite herself, Cozy Glow the Once-Alicorn took her place at the table opposite Twilight Velvet, and picked up a pink crayon.

[***]

“... There’s another five scrolls from Twilight Sparkle, too.”

Cozy Glow was asleep, mostly, but she could hear snatches of the conversation from the other room. She’d left her door open a crack so that a slice of lamplight from the kitchen could stream into her room. Somehow, being alone in the darkness had felt frightening that night instead of comforting like it usually did, and so Twilight Velvet had left the door cracked ajar for her after she tucked her in. She rolled over in her little bed, drifting back to sleep as the adults continued their hushed conversation in the kitchen.

“I’m sure she’s got a lot to say to me.” Twilight Velvet’s voice was a little harder, a little angry. “I have a lot to say to her, too.”

“Are you sure this is the right decision, Velv?” The mail mare considered Twilight Velvet with her askew gaze, her brows lowering in worry. “She’s the Princess now, and everypony’s still all upset about the magic being stolen. If they knew where you were -”

“She’s still my daughter. I still have to do what’s right for her, princess or not.” Twilight Velvet sighed, and there was the sound of a mug being placed on the table. “Stoning a foal, Muffins. I couldn’t let her do that. If she’d gone through with it -”

“But she did try to take over Equestria.” Muffins countered, gently.

“She asked me for a hug before she went to sleep, Muffins. She thought I was going to punish her when she called me a dumb-dumb. She trembled in my arms; she’s just a foal. A foal.”

The pair fell silent for a moment, and another mug returned to its spot on the table.

“Well, thanks for the tea, Velv. I’ll be back in a few days.”

“Thank you for all your help, Muffins. I couldn’t do this without you.”

“Of course, that’s what friends are for. Illicit mail drops for the enemies of Canterlot.” A soft chuckle. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“I hope I do, too.” Twilight Velvet agreed, her voice softer. “I’ve raised one wildly-powerful filly before; hopefully I can handle this one, too.”

“If anyone could, it would be you, Velv.” A quick hug, and the sound of a door opening; Muffins took to the air on silent wings, leaving Twilight Velvet standing in a dot of light in the middle of a massive forest that grew smaller and smaller, until Muffins couldn’t see it anymore.

“Safe travels, Muffins.” Twilight Velvet spoke to no one in particular, then closed the door, and the tiny light in the massive forest blinked out into nothing.