To Observe is Science!

Chapters

Settling in
Party down
A wrench in the mix
Pinkie after parties
Screw Physics!
Love and War
Nightmares wear ties
Frickin' laser beams!
Playing with fire
Out of the frying pan...
Jackass
Nightmare Night
Dating and caring.
The master plans
Dealing with dogs
Epilogue
Trailer: To Test is Science!

Settling in

“Alright, Tiny. Help me get this beam in place, and we’re done for today.” I said, stealing a glance at the setting sun. Tiny gave a beep in reply, before pushing the metal beam up into place. Tiny was a humongous machine that looked like a cross between a tank and a truckbed. He was about the size of a Volkswagen Beetle, and had a battering ram affixed to the top of his frame. Once he had the beam up, one of the prehensile arms inside his bed came out, and began welding the top part of the beam to the superstructure. I had my own welding torch, and started on the bottom part of the beam. We were just putting the finishing touches on the refinery, which was just a short distance away from my lab. The structures we made were only the bare essentials I needed to continue my research into my rather various fields.

It’s been a while since I first came here. Since I’ve been here, I’ve seen some pretty incredible things, and to be honest, I can’t wait to study some of it in greater detail. But I need a place to sleep and work, and the materials I came here with are rapidly being consumed. I’ll have just enough left over to build a Mine-bot that I have in the drawing board, which means I’ll have plenty of free time to study the world around me for a couple of days.

Oh, before I forget, I’d better give you some background. My name is Dr. Ace Sorou. I have P.H.Ds in Robotics, Astrophysics, Mechanics, and Computer Programming. I guess I’m a bit of a prodigy overall, but in a mere six years, this man has become a household name all over the planet, known for being the Da Vinci of our time.

…Or I would have, had I not taken an interest in this place.

This place I speak of is another universe, an Earth that runs parallel to ours, where different laws of nature and physics apply. The locals call it Equestria. And the longer I stay here, the more I want to call it Home. The air is fresh, there are no wars, and everypony is friendly and kind.

Yes, dear reader. I said everypony. This universe is inhabited by ponies, who talk and work and do everything we do. Some ponies can fly, some are super strong, and some can even use magic. Magic. Imagine, a man of science like myself, believing in something like magic. Yet, I think I can define it as an ambient energy that saturates this universe. Unicorns are somehow able to tap into this energy, and use it to bend the laws of physics. I intend to study this phenomenon once I get everything up and running.

As I finished the welds on the bottom of the beam, connecting it to the rest of the structure, Tiny gives out a beep, letting me know he’s finished, too. “Alright.” I say, removing my welding torch, and tossing it into his bed. I gave him a small pat on his ram. “Tomorrow, you can start on the plating, and I’ll start moving the refining equipment in, and hooking it up. Until then, you go ahead and shut down for the night, okay, boy?” He gave a series of beeps in acknowledgement. “Good boy.” I tell him, scratching his treads. “You’re a good, reliable robot, aren’t you? Yes you are, ya big lug.” He let out a few noises that sound like purrs, before I give him a big ol’ hug around the ram. “Alright, get going.” I let go, and he began to move off, back into the garage attached to my lab.

As I gather up the equipment, I see a pony bouncing over to me from Ponyville. Upon closer inspection, I see a distinctive curly pink mane bouncing with every jump. I recognize the owner as Pinkie Pie, a pony that I’ve made good acquaintance with during my short time in Equestria, and always enjoy the company of. I’m normally an excitable guy, honestly, and when I’m with other ponies, I restrain myself, especially when John or Geo are around. I feel these impulses to hug everything in sight when I’m happy, and the others would probably frown upon such behavior for my age. But Pinkie sees a kindred spirit in me, and we’ve always gotten along. In her presence, I’m always comfortable being myself, and as she bounces up to me, I extend my arms out to catch her. She lands in them, and we share one of the aforementioned hugs, and a small laugh between us, before I put her down.

“What’s up, Doc?” She greets me.

“Hey, Pinks.” I say. “What brings you to the lab?”

“Oh, I just wanted to give you your invitation.” It’s then that I notice that she’s wearing her saddle bags. She opened one up, and took out an envelope. “I’m hosting an after-party for Twilight and Geo’s wedding. Some of the ponies got upset that they couldn’t make it to the actual wedding, so I thought, ‘Hey! Who says the celebration has to be over after one day?’ So I threw something together at Sweet Apple Acres! I got AJ’s permission and everything! It starts tomorrow, right before noon! You game?”

“You bet I am, Pinks!” I said with a grin. “As long as Tiny can come.” This wasn’t the first party I went to that Pinkie Pie threw. Hell, it wasn’t even the second. The first was a ‘Welcome Back, Geo’ party, for when we first arrived, and then there was a ‘Welcome to Ponyville John’ party and a ‘Welcome to Ponyville Ace’ party thrown the day after that, both held at the same time. My party was inside, since my theme was staying in my lab, working, and John’s was outside, since he was more about sports. After that, Pinkie went ahead and organized Twilight and Geo’s wedding a scant two days ago! To be honest, I think Pinkie Pie is amazing. Such a feat as four parties in one week must’ve been a logistical nightmare, and would have the average caterer ripping their hair out in frustration. But Pinkie’s still going strong, smiling every day away, and adding a fifth party to the week! That HAS to be some sort of record!

“Of course Tiny can come!” She said with a smile. “He’s like a mobile mix station! In fact, Vinyl Scratch was thinking of renting him for a bit! She said she’d love to bring the party with her, and she thought Tiny was the perfect guy for the job!”

As Pinkie spoke about Vinyl’s plans to rent Tiny, my hand went to my bit pouch in my pocket. Before she left to go back to Canterlot, Princess Celestia, the ruler of Equestria, gave John and I fifty bits each to cover our food expenses until we got a source of income. John had taken to working on Sweet Apple Acres to earn his keep, and said he enjoyed such an active job. Myself? Well, my bits were running out, and part of the reason I was always going to Pinkie’s parties was for the free food so I could pinch some pennies. Renting out my machines probably wouldn’t be a bad idea, but right now, all I had were a few BIRDs, and Tiny. Still, something is better than nothing. “Well, send her my way, and we’ll talk business at some point.” I replied, before letting out a yawn. “Thanks for stopping by, Pinks. I’m tired, though. I’m gonna get some shut-eye.”

“Alright, Acey!” She replied, almost singing her pet-name for me, and giving a wide smile. “I’ll see you tomorrow! Remember, be there before noon!”

“I will!” I said, moving back to my lab. “G’night, and thanks again!” She watched me enter the lab, and I saw her heading back to Ponyville as the metal door slid shut. I went down to my room, and threw myself on the bed. I managed to kick off my shoes, as various thoughts of how I can improve my financial situation came to me. In this world, I wasn’t doing very well, but where I came from, I was very wealthy. All I needed to do was duplicate what I did in my world to get wealthy, and I’d be back in the business of doing whatever I wanted. That thought entered my mind, as I fell asleep.

Party down

The next morning was not anything unusual. I got up, and had breakfast, which consisted of leftover cake and a sliced apple. Ponies are herbivorous by nature, but, while they may be disgusted by the idea of eating other creatures, they are in no way a stranger to taking care of the dietary needs of omnivorous and even carnivorous pets. Pinkie Pie has a pet alligator, after all. As well, Twilight has an owl, Rarity, a cat, and Applejack, a dog. I have no doubt the ponies had to have fed their pets meat at some point or another. That is a thought which both interests and disappoints me, as I would give anything for a big, juicy steak right now. But, you have to play the hand dealt to you, and right now, my cards are the best I can get.

After breakfast, I activated Tiny, who had been recharging. We began the final stretch of getting my lab up and running. The lab itself had been completed, but it needed power. But then, so did the refinery, and THAT needed to be separate from my lab, so I wouldn’t risk damaging one building’s activities with the activities of the other. That’s when I came up with the on-the-fly idea of making an energy source that could be split to multiple structures with the materials I had on hand. I call it my Generator Spire, and it’s like a cross between a solar, wind, and geothermal generator. It uses all three at once to generate power, and then distributes the power as needed to all structures in range. Put simply, it uses lasers to locate special beacons I set up on my buildings, and distribute the power over distance, so no wires are required.

Dang, I start talking about my creations, and I go off on a tangent. I’mma try to stick to the story. Sorry. Anyway, Tiny started welding the plates that would become the walls of my refinery, and I began moving the computers in. The computers would….Eh, heh, heh…. Sorry. The morning was pretty uneventful. Around eleven, I told Tiny to finish his current weld, and then meet me at the garage to prepare for Pinkie’s party. It took me a few minutes to get all the tools out of Tiny, but soon enough, we were on our way. Tiny rumbled through town, as I took a Captain Morgan pose on top of him, pointing towards Sweet Apple Acres, and grinning wide.

We arrived at the party ten minutes early, as I always like to do. Twilight and Geo were setting up the tables, Rarity was helping Rainbow Dash and Pinkie with decorations, and the Apple family, with the help of John and Sweetie Belle, was getting the food ready. They all turned to see me once I rolled in, and almost everyone looked at me strange. The only one who laughed was Pinkie. I’m glad SOMEpony got the joke.

Geo shook his head, as Tiny came to a halt. “What are you doing?” He asked.

“I’m a party pirate.” I said with a smile, still in my pose.

“Oh no! He’s come to raid the cake!” Pinkie laughed, kicking her legs up in the air.

“You’re random.” Geo said, as he returned to setting up the tables.

“Yeah, well…” I jumped from Tiny. “…There’s a fine line between genius and insanity. I like to make it blurry.”

Geo rolled his eyes. “You’re going to destroy it, at this rate.”

I ignored him, and turned to Pinkie. “Hey Pinks, where do you want Tiny?”

Pinkie chuckled. “Just have him park in the barn. Vinyl will be over soon, and she wants to try using him for a DJ platform.”

“I hope she doesn’t mind him dancing a bit.” I said, pointing Tiny to the barn. “Tiny does like to move to the rhythm.”

“I still can’t get over the fact that you named that thing.” Rainbow stated, hanging up a banner congratulating the newlywed couple of Geo and Twilight.

I shrugged. “What’s wrong? If you had a foal, you’d name it.”

“That’s different.” Rainbow protested, as she landed next to Twilight.

“How?” I asked. “You create a foal, you name it. I create a bot, I name it. I don’t see the difference.”

“Alright, y’all.” Applejack interjected, before Rainbow could respond. “C’mon, Rainbow. There ain’t no reasonin’ with that one. ‘sides, Ah don’t think this conversation is a good thing to hear for certain ears.” She nodded towards Sweetie Belle helping her sister, and Applebloom standing behind Twilight, who was sampling some of the punch for approval.

“Aw, you don’t need to pay us no mind, AJ. We were learnin’ where foals come from just last week.”

Before anyone else could speak, a thought occurred to me, and I just had to open my mouth. “Hey, speaking of foals, Geo, do you and Twilight use protection?”

Twilight immediately spat out her punch, and put a hoof over her muzzle. There was a chorus of laughter from half of the bystanders at the party. I felt a look of disgust from the other half.

Geo looked at me, completely dumbfounded. “…DUDE! What the fu-“

“Hey, it’s a serious, completely legitimate and very important question, and let me explain why, before I’m booed out of the party!” I had raised my hands up defensively, and had a concerned expression on my face.

Geo looked at me grimly. “You have one minute.”

As quickly as I can, I began to explain. “Alright, so in our universe, we can’t crossbreed with ponies. Not that we’d want to, but nevermind that. We’re in a different universe now, our laws of nature do not apply here. Trees grow, clouds move, and seasons change, all with the help of outside influence. Now, earlier this week, I heard mention of griffons, and how they actually existed. According to our mythos, a griffon is a crossbreed between a lion and an eagle. Also, Pinkie was recently telling me about how she and the other Elements of Harmony had to band together to defeat a Chaos Spirit named Discord. From her description, I can conclude that Discord was a cross of many different species. Now, bear with me for a second. If all these crossbreeds can exist in this universe, then, don’t it stand to reason that there could be a crossbreed between a pony and a human, as well?”

As Geo and the others listened, they began to see my point, and the legitimacy of my question. “W…well, there’s no proof that we can, and we bloody well know we can’t in our universe…”

“Ah, but we are in a different universe. Different laws of nature and physics apply, and we, as visitors, have to follow those laws. Which brings me back to my previous question; do you and Twilight use protection?”

An awkward silence filled the air. It lingered for a few moments, before I spoke, rubbing my head. “I…didn’t mean to worry you, but I just felt the need to bring up the possibility. Sorry.”

Twilight put a hoof on Geo’s hand. “It’s alright, Geo. We’ll worry about it later. Let’s just enjoy this time we have right now.” Geo nodded, and Twilight turned to me. “Thank you, Doctor, for giving us this information. We will be more careful from now on.”

I nodded, as Pinkie suddenly made her presence known. “Alright, enough with the frowns! It’s time to get down! We still have a party to set up, so let’s get shakin’!”

Geo shook his head. “I need a drink…”

=====================================================================

The party was…well, jumpin’. It always seemed that Pinkie Pie parties were the liveliest events you’d ever come across. Everypony that wasn’t at Geo and Twilight’s wedding (but wanted to be) was here. As well, a few who were there made a return. Twilight was catching up with her family. Her Mother, Father, and her Big Brother had all made an appearance at the wedding, but they all were staying in Ponyville just long enough for to make an appearance at the second party.

Geo was having a drink with John. I felt kinda bad about earlier. I somehow managed to embarrass him, and I hoped to high heaven that he wasn’t mad at me. I felt a legitimate concern that he might be in danger of becoming a father prematurely, but he might’ve interpreted my actions differently. I was leaning against the fence, and I must’ve been looking glum, because I felt a hoof poke me in the arm. I looked down, and saw Pinkie looking up at me. I smiled at her. “Hey, Pinks. What’s wrong?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing, Mr. Frowny-Pants.” She replied. “Are you okay?”

I sighed. “Well, I managed to embarrass my friend earlier, and make myself look like an ass at the same time. Does that count as okay?”

She giggled. “Oh, don’t worry about that, silly!” She replied. “I’m sure he’s forgiven you! You were just worried that he might be doing something he didn’t want to!”

“But did he see it that way, is the question?” I asked.

“Oh, I’m sure he did. And if he is angry, then I’m sure it’ll pass. You are looking out for him, after all.” She reasoned.

“Yeah, you’re right.” I admitted, following her train of thought. Only fools hold grudges.

There was a change in the music, and Pinkie gasped with a smile. “Oooh! This is one of my favoritest most favorite songs in the world!” She looked over at me. “Wanna dance with me?”

I shrugged. “Alright. I’m following your lead, though.” I said, letting her take me out to the dance floor. I had caught a red light out of my peripheral vision, and looked up to see one of the BIRDs that I had been deploying to observe Equestria while I worked on my lab. I made a mental note to get the data back from it as soon as I was finished dancing with Pinkie.

A wrench in the mix

The dance was over all too soon. I quite enjoyed my time on my feet with Pinkie. And now, we were sitting together, sharing a laugh, and catching our breath.

“That was super fun, Acey!” She said. “I really liked the part where you tossed me in the air!”

I laughed. “Did I do that? I don’t remember, I was just enjoying the moment.”

A confused smile looked at me. “What do you mean, you don’t remember?”

“The whole time I was just thinking about how wonderful it is to be here.” I explained.

She managed to glomp me, but I remained seated. “Aww! That must mean you really ARE happy, now!”

I wrapped my arm around her, laughing. “You mean you were trying to cheer me up this entire time?”

She nodded. “I had to be sure you wouldn’t start moping again after. I knew you’d want a friend, and I wanted to be the bestest friend that I possibly could. So I asked you if you wanted to dance! You’re a great dancer, by the way!”

I gave a small laugh. “Well, thanks.” I then looked skyward as she hugged me again, and whistled up at my BIRD.

“I’m glad you like coming to my parties.” She told me, as I extended my fingers out, so that my BIRD could land.

“They’re wonderful. I wouldn’t miss ‘em for the world.” I replied, sliding back a door on the back of my BIRD, and revealing a USB slot. Pinkie began paying attention to what I was doing, looking at my bot strangely. “How ya doin’, Paul?” I asked, recognizing the specific BIRD I sent out. I rolled up my sleeve, revealing a PDA attached to my arm, and plugged cable in the USB slot on Paul’s back.

“Oooh, is that one of these BIRDs you keep talking about?” She asked, her voice chipper.

I looked over, surprised. “Yes, it is. It’s amazing; you’re the first one to get the pronunciation right.”

Pinkie rolled her eyes. “Well, duh! It’s not like its spelled ‘Bird’ or ‘bird.’ It’s spelled ‘BIRD.’ It’s not that hard!”

I nodded. “I know, right? Somehow, people always seem to get it wrong!”

I hugged her, and she looked over to my BIRD. “So, this one’s name is Paul, right? Like Pauly? Does he want a cracker?”

“I’m pretty sure he would if he had a digestive system.” I said, tapping a few keys on my PDA. “Alright, Paul. Let’s see what you’ve got for me.” I forgot to mention this earlier, but whenever my BIRDs have a flashing red light, it means they’ve identified danger. Most of the time, these ‘dangers’ are nothing more than bugs landing on the lenses, and the BIRDs mislabeling the ‘danger’ as an unusually large creature. If they had a higher thought process, their precise reaction would be “OH GOD A GIANT BUG!” If not a giant bug, then it’s usually some other tomfoolery trick of the lens. It’s why I didn’t bother to check it earlier.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t a giant bug, and I ended up kicking myself for not checking Paul’s data earlier.

Pinkie and I, sharing a pair of earphones, listened and watched a video that Paul had recorded. In it, there was a strange creature with iron armor and a spear. The spear was one piece construction, likely forged, and also made of iron. The creature itself looked like a cross between a mole and a dog. Judging by the scenery, and the music that was playing in the background, this creature was here, at the party. And judging by its need to stay out of sight, it was likely spying on the party. If it was spying on the party, I thought, then it’s either not welcome here, or it has something nefarious planned. But I had to be sure.

“Pinks…” I said. “What is this creature?”

She looked very confused, and not happy at all. “It’s a Diamond Dog. They usually stick to rocky areas and plateaus.”

“Are Diamond Dogs welcome here?” I asked.

“Generally, anyone who’s friendly, pony or not, is welcome in Ponyville. A Diamond Dog would be welcome as long as he wasn’t here to cause trouble.” She reasoned.

“What kind of trouble?”

“Around a year ago, a buncha Diamond Dogs ponynapped Rarity. They wanted to for her to work in their mines, but she ended up rescuing herself.” Pinkie recounted.

“That’s it, then. This guy’s planning on crashing the party.” I deduced, standing up.

Pinkie gasped, then suddenly looked angry. “What?” She huffed. “No one crashes my parties! No! One!”

“Go get Shining Armor, Pinks.” I told her. “He’s a royal guard. He’ll be able to do something about this.”

“Okey dokey…” I heard her say ominously, as she glared at the image on my PDA, before leaving. After she left to get Shining Armor, I minimized the video of the Diamond Dog, and began recalibrating Paul. I have multiple settings for all of my bots, which means they have multiple uses. Tiny could be used for construction, demolition, security, or in the case of this party, entertainment. My BIRDs can be used as recording devices, alarms, and right now, as a tracking beacon or a taser. I set Paul up to track the origin of his recording, and programmed him to turn into a taser as soon as we got there. As I had just wrapped up the programming, Shining Armor, two other Guard ponies, and Twilight showed up, following Pinkie.

“I got here as soon as I made sense of what Pinkie was telling me.” Shining Armor said. “Where’s the Diamond Dog?”

“Right here.” I showed him the video of my PDA.

He looked up at me strangely. “A movie’s nice, but it’s not an actual Diamond Dog.” He told me. “I thought there was an actual emergency.”

“You don’t understand, Chief.” I responded. “This video was recorded about ten minutes ago, through the use of one of my BIRDs.”

“Birds using cameras?” He said skeptically. “Seriously?”

I looked over at Twilight, who knew what I was talking about. “Not that kind of bird, bro!” She said. “He means the flying recording devices that he uses to survey an area! Geo was telling me about them!”

“Oh.” Shining Armor nodded. “Well, why didn’t you say what they were?” He asked me.

“I did!” I replied. “They’re called BIR-Y’know what, forget it. This is more important!”

“Yeah!” Pinkie spoke. “That Diamond Dog’s gonna crash the party!”

“I can take you to where this footage was shot. The Diamond Dog will be in that area.”

Shining Armor nodded. “Lead the way.”

I held Paul up in the air, and he began beeping, and flashing a blue light. The beep was slow and steady, but as I tracked the location of the Diamond Dog, the beeping started getting faster. I went toward the location that the beeping was getting more rapid in, the ponies following me. The tracking beacon led us out in between the trees of the farm, and grew more and more rapid. As it did, I crouched down. “Stay alert.” I whispered, as I continued to follow the beacon. I pressed forward, slowly going where Paul took me until he suddenly engaged his taser mode.

“Holy Moley!” Pinkie exclaimed, as the others turned to me for an explanation as to why we’ve stopped.

The only reason I could think of was the most logical. “We’re here.” I told them. “There was a Diamond Dog in this location not ten minutes ago.”

“Diamond Dogs? On mah farm?” We all turned to see that we had gathered a huge crowd of ponies that started to follow us, curious as to what we were doing. Applejack looked steamed at the thought of Diamond Dogs on her farm, as a hushed murmur went through the crowd.

“Everypony, please!” Shining Armor spoke. “The situation is under control. Please, return to the festivities, and let the Royal Guard do its duty.”

Everypony save for the Apples and Rainbow Dash quickly dismissed back to the party.

Applejack, speaking for Applebloom and Big Mac, looked at Shining Armor. “If those varmints are on the Apple Family’s land, then it’s our duty to protect th’ farm!”

“I never leave my friends hanging!” Rainbow Dash added. “ And if my friends are going, so am I!”

Notice I said everyPONY. Geo and John were here, as well. Geo wanted to protect Twilight, and John had a stake in the farm.

“We don’t have time to convince you guys otherwise.” Shining Armor sighed. “Alright, let’s look around, and try to find the Diamond Dog.

The whole time, Twilight was giving me the evil eye. I looked at her, wondering what her problem was, and she spoke. “You wanna tell me why you suddenly have a gun, Doctor?”

I looked at Paul. “This is my BIRD.” I responded.

“Then do you wanna tell me why he’s suddenly a gun?” She said, still giving me an accusing look.

“He’s not a gun, he’s a taser.” I explained. “He may look and operate like a gun, but he’s completely nonlethal.”

“And why do you have a robot that can turn into a taser, anyway?” She asked.

“Because-“ I began. However, I saw an oddly shaped limb standing right behind Geo. “Geo, get down!” I shouted, causing Geo to hit the deck, as I took aim, and fired. A bolt of lightning lanced out from Paul, and collided with the steel helmet of a Diamond Dog. The Diamond Dog howled out in pain, as seizures took hold of his body, causing him to drop his spear, and collapse. It was over in seconds, and the Diamond Dog wobbly raised his head, to find the Royal Guards standing over him.

“That’s why, Twilight.”

Pinkie after parties

I sat at the lab, thinking to myself, as I awaited the arrival of my newest creation, back from his first expedition. The Guard Ponies were currently in possession of the Diamond Dog that I zapped yesterday. Right now, all they could get him for was trespassing, but there was a reason he was there, I was sure of it. Why, though? Why are the Diamond Dogs sending out scouts to this area? As I thought this, a quadruped machine the size of a pony descended the stairway into the lab, walking over to me. I looked at my new mine-bot, which I designed to have a frame similar to a large spider with nothing but a head. He raised himself up, and placed his chassis on the table, before opening a compartment, and revealing a plethora of newly refined minerals and metals that I could use to create more machines. “Thanks, Rick.” I said, petting the little guy. Removing the materials, I estimated that I would have enough to build something I had been hoping to work on for some time. It would take some forging for most of the day, but right now, there wasn’t much else I wanted to do. So, I set to work, and sent Rick off to collect more materials for the refinery.

About midway through soldering the computer for my design, I heard the beep of my doorbell go off. Looking at a nearby computer monitor, I saw Pinkie staring back at me. She was paying attention to the camera above the door, a dejected look on her face. “Acey, can we talk?” She asked. Her mane was still full of life, but she still seemed disappointed about something. I grabbed the microphone off of my PDA.

“Come on in, Pinks.” I said, wondering what had gotten Pinkie in such a mood. I pressed a button on the console in front of me, and the door to my lab slid open. Pinkie trotted down the stairs, and into my lab, before coming up to me. I got down off the chair, and kneeled, so I was at eye level with her. “What’s up? You alright?” I asked.

Pinkie sighed, looking up at me with her puppy-dog eyes. “Well, you kinda left my party yesterday.” She told me, solemnly. “I thought you didn’t wanna be there. Did I…did I say something to make you feel angry at me?” She sniffled, and looked as if she was about to let out a waterfall of tears.

“What?” I asked, my face developing a ‘poker face’ expression, as I recalled what happened after the Diamond Dog was taken into custody.

I looked grim, as the Diamond Dog was led away. Twilight’s brother was collecting a few reports to see what anypony knew about the Diamond Dog’s presence. My report probably interested him the most. I ended up promising a copy of the video evidence I collected from Paul. “Are Diamond Dogs common in this area?” I asked him.

Shining Armor nodded. “Yes. Most of them around Ponyville don’t usually come into town, and only a few of them in the area bother to form raiding parties. None of them are ever stupid enough to try a raid on their own.”

“Which means he was probably scouting for a larger force, right?” I asked.

Shining Armor laughed. “Nothing gets past you, huh? That’s what we believe. But usually, where there’s a scout, the raiding party is nearby.” Seeing my panic, he lifted a hoof to calm my nerves. “It’s strange, though. We did a quick sweep of the area. There weren’t any other Diamond Dogs.”

I let out a relieved breath. “That’s good.” I noticed that the party was still going on, which gave me some concern. “Are the raids really that bad?” I asked.

“The raids have always been bad.” Said Shining Armor. “ Diamond Dogs take ponies as slaves to work in their mines. Sometimes, they ponynap entire families.”

“Then why keep this party going?” I wondered. “Wouldn’t these ponies be in danger?”

Shining Armor shook his head. “Segeant Fleet Foot assured me that he’s seen no other Diamond Dogs, and I trust him. If he says his sweep revealed nothing, then there’s nothing there.”

I shrugged. “Well, if you’re certain, then who am I to argue?” I wasn’t convinced, but that didn’t mean I was gonna argue with him. “In that case, enjoy the rest of your day, Shining Armor.” We exchanged parting words, and I went to leave, my mind focused on securing the party, and completing my refinery.

I was programming Paul to do his own sweep of the area, knowing his sensors were better than a guard’s eyes, when Pinkie intercepted me. “Acey, aren’t ya gonna stay for the party?” She asked.

I looked up from my PDA to see Pinkie. “Can’t party right now, Pinks. I gotta get back to the lab.” I told her, as I screwed up a line of code.

I started to delete my mistake, and heard Pinkie begin to say something. “But I-“

“Pinkie!” I exclaimed in frustration, making a chopping motion with my right hand. “I’m not concerned about partying right now! I need to get this done!” I went back to coding, continuing to leave the party.

Looking back, I was kinda rude. She must’ve got her feelings hurt when I said that, and I suddenly felt bad about yelling at Pinkie, and a frown crossed my face. “Oh, Pinks.” I sighed, giving her a hug. “I’m sorry. I was upset with something else entirely. I didn’t mean to make you feel bad. You could never make me angry, okay?”

She sniffed, resting a head on my shoulder. “Okay.” She replied in a relieved voice. “I thought I lost a friend.”

“Aww, Pinks!” I said sympathetically, pulling her away to look her in the eyes. “You’re one of my best friends I have in this Universe, if not, THE best friend. I would never purposely do anything that would make you sad. And I promise, if you ever need someone to listen to, or a shoulder to cry on, or anything, anything at all, my door is always open for you.”

She gave me a big smile, tears drying from her eyes. “Pinkie Promise?”

I held up a finger, and did a crossing motion over my heart. “Cross my heart…” I flapped my hands, as if they were wings. “…Hope to fly…” I grabbed an imaginary cupcake, and brought it to my face. “…Stick a cupcake in my eye.”

She gave a small chuckle, before she pounced at me, wrapping her front legs around me in a hug. I purposely fell on my back, wrapping my arms around her, and began rolling on the ground, shouting in a mock panic. “Aaah! Pink pony attack! Get it off! Get it off!” We came to a stop, me on the ground, Pinkie sitting on top of me, and both of us laughing at the joke. I looked up at her, and really, for the first time, I saw her as a mare. A beautiful, kind, caring mare, who liked to joke around with her friends, and enjoyed spending time with me. And that’s when I noticed I was staring at her, and she was staring back. “Uhh, I need to get back to work.” I said, picking myself up, and gently shifting her off of me.

“Oh, right, uh…sorry.” She replied, and began looking around my lab from her seated position on the floor.

“No, it’s no trouble.” I insisted, trying desperately not to sound awkward. “In fact, maybe you’d like to help me with my work for a bit?” Good save, I thought, as I moved up to the table, and continued to solder the computer system together. I put on some music from my computer to help me work.

“Okey dokey lokey!” She chirped with glee, hopping up into the spare chair next to me. Putting her hooves on the table, she began to watch me work. “What’cha makin’, anyway?”

“A personal transport vehicle that can interface with the larger bots that I construct.” I told her. “I based it on a Russian design I saw. During the Cold War, both the East and West were trying to one-up each other. They both built their own versions of the same things, even personal flying platforms that allowed their troops to go anywhere they wanted. The Russians had a jet powered design, and the Americans developed a fan powered one. However, the American was too unstable, and couldn’t be put to good use. The Russian one worked, but the cost to fuel it was too great. In the end, both projects were scrapped. I discovered a way to make it both cost effective AND stable, though. I’m using Magnetic Ion propulsion in order to keep it aloft, and I’m using algae to fuel it. It will be able to travel quickly to any location, it will be cost effective, and it will be stable as a turtle shell.” I suddenly realized that I was rambling, so I turned to Pinkie. “You get all that?” I joked.

She smiled at me, and said “Nope.” We shared a laugh.

As the day went on, I continued my work on my project, which I dubbed the ‘Sorou-mobile.’ Pinkie wasn’t much help, but really, she didn’t need to be. I was just happy to have someone to talk to. I shared some stories about my college years, and she told me of her adventures in Equestria. As I bolted in the computer, and put the finishing touches on the frame, I asked her about her childhood.

“I grew up on a rock farm outside of Ponyville.” Pinkie said. “Those were sad times. Nopony smiled.”

“A rock farm?” I laughed. “That sounds dull.”

“Oh, you’d better believe it was dull!” She began. “Day in, and day out, all we ever saw were rocks, gems, and metals! We got up early, went to bed late, and we were aching all over by the time our chores were done! Have you ever worked so hard your bones ached?” I nodded. “Well, that’s exactly how I felt pretty much every day! Yet I kept on going, because I loved my family! I still do!” She sighed, looking off in remembrance. “I think about them every day.” She said, looking downcast. “I feel sorry for leaving them.”

I quit working, and went over to her. “You miss ‘em, don’t ya?” She nodded. “Well, why don’t you go and visit?”

She shook her head. “I can’t do that.” She told me. “My folks kinda made me leave.”

“What?” I stared at her in disbelief.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not that they didn’t love me. It’s just that…” She sighed. “After I found out what my special talent was, my family wanted me off the rock farm.” Pinkie told me. “They didn’t want my happiness to be stifled there.”

“Stifled?” I asked, genuinely confused.

“They said that if I stayed, I wouldn’t be able to throw all the parties that I would if I left. They wanted me to pursue my dreams, so they got me off the farm, and told me never to look back.” She sighed. “And I never have.”

Huh. That doesn’t make much sense, I thought. But then, I’ve never heard of a rock farm before, so I chalked it up to not knowing about this world. I gave her a hug, and we spent some more time together talking as I did some more work on the Sorou-mobile. Before we knew it, it was sundown. We had decided to watch the sunset together, and for the first time in my life, I felt a sense of serenity. Pinkie was in my lap, sighing blissfully, as we both watched the sun go down. But all too soon, she had to return home, and I watched her leave, sitting outside of my lab. We said our goodbyes, and she departed. I felt really good about tomorrow.

Screw Physics!

I stared at the stars for a long time after Geo left. He had dropped by to tell me that he wasn’t angry, and that relieved me. Something perturbed me, though, about my earlier conversation with Pinkie. A rock farm? That didn’t seem plausible. It was bothering me to the point where I couldn’t get any sleep, so, I went to the library, thinking Twilight had a book on it. I walked through the moonlit streets of Ponyville. As I drew near the door, I noticed the lights were still on. They must still be awake, I thought, so I gave the door a knock. It was Twilight, and she was looking very cross.

“Oh, sorry.” I apologized. “Is this a bad time, Twilight?” I asked.

She shook her head, and found her voice. “No, doctor. I was already awake. What’s going on?”

I hesitated. “Well, I can’t get any sleep. I was talking with Pinkie earlier, and she said something that sounded strange.” I looked at her. “Have you ever heard of a rock farm?”

Twilight looked up in thought. “No, not really.”

I sighed. “Well, I’m losing sleep over it. Apparently, Pinkie Pie grew up on one. I came here, hoping I could find a book on them.”

“In that case, come on in. I have a book on just about everything.” Twilight replied, opening the door. “Spike is already asleep, and Geo’s out for a walk right now. You should be able to get some studying done in peace.”

I thanked her, and entered. She began helping me look for some books on rock farms.

We looked through every book twice, but neither of us could find anything about rock farms.

“That’s odd.” Twilight remarked, setting down the book she was holding with her magic. “Not one book about rock farms anywhere.”

I looked dejected, as I replaced the book I was searching through. “You don’t think she was lying to me, do you?”

Twilight shook her head. “I just know that I can’t find anything about rock farming.” She told me. “If the library doesn’t have anything on it, then it might not be an officially recognized term.”

I cocked an eyebrow. “An officially recognized term?” I inquired.

“There is an entire terminology to farming. It could be said that the agricultural community has their own language. It could be that a rock farm is likely a term for a farm that doesn’t make much produce.”

“Those exist?” I asked, half-jokingly.

“Not every Earth Pony is good at farming.” She replied, looking over to a tired Geo, who had just entered, and nodding towards him.

“I see.” I stated, nonchalantly. That answer seemed satisfactory to me. At least, it gave me enough closure to allow me to sleep. “In any case, thanks.” I waved goodbye, and moved to the door. “I guess I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

She showed me to the door. “Good night, Doctor.”

I woke up early the next morning, and got a quick bite to eat. I was excited to finish my project. It only needed another hour of work. These things usually take a lot of time, but I guess I have a Tony Stark level of machine affinity. Later that morning, I was taking off through Ponyville in my Sorou-mobile shouting “Wooh! It works! It works! Yiiiii-haaaaw!” Yeah, I’m a southerner. Deal with it. In any case, I found the reactions of the various Pegasi in Ponyville hilarious. I don’t think they expected a human flying through the air on a metal podium. And for some reason, I just thought of Ron Paul. However, the last thing I expected was a blonde-tailed gray dock to suddenly enter my field of vision. Panicking and reacting quickly, I used the roll stick to perform an aileron roll, letting my ear graze some poor Pegasus’ bubbly cutie mark.

It was when I was hanging thirty feet above the ground by my arms, holding on for dear life to the safety bars of the upside down Sorou-mobile, that a thought occurred to me. I should’ve installed a seat belt. I looked up at the controls of the Sorou-mobile, and attempted to bring myself up to them. Unfortunately, I didn’t have the upper body strength. That’s the bad thing about being a scientist. You exercise your mind, but you let your body grow weak. My grip was slipping, my arms were giving out, and at any moment I could fall. I gave a laugh. “I should invest in a parachute. Or some hover boots.” I said aloud. “All the legit mad scientists have hover boots.”

“Acey?!” I heard from down below. If I turned, I would’ve only seen my shoulder, but I knew the voice.

“Hey, Pinks.” I replied, smiling.

Then, she asked the silliest question ever. “What are you doing up there?!”

To which I responded, “Oh, y’know, hanging around.” I chuckled. “Hey, could ya give me a hand?”

“Don’t worry, Acey!” I heard her respond. “I’ll get ya down! Just hang in there!”

I wondered if she made that joke on purpose. “Well, I can’t do much else, right now.” I said. “Just hurry up.”

I didn’t have to wait for long. Before I knew it, I heard the sound of propellers chopping through the air. “Here! Grab the candy cane!” Grab the candy cane? I sure didn’t see one at the moment, but then, a large candy cane pole was waved in front of me. It must be what she was talking about, and instead of wondering why a candy cane was suddenly waving in my face, I grabbed the foodstuff.

I felt the bar of candy, and it didn’t feel entirely stable. “I’m pretty sure that I’ll slip off this thing!” I told her. “Here! Just see if you can raise me enough to get to my craft’s controls!”

“Okay! Hold on tight!” The candy cane raised itself up, and my hand went with it, bringing me up until I was touching the roll stick.

“That’s good! That’s good!” I said, before pushing the stick so that the Sorou-mobile slowly righted itself. I climbed in the driver’s seat, hitting my head against the floor, and then got up, and sat in the chair. “Thanks, Pinks!” I said, looking over to her. “You’re a lifesav…er?” A confused look crossed my face. I saw that Pinkie was riding an unusual pedal-powered flying machine with a single four-blade main rotor system. Immediately, questions flew into my mind. Where’s the drive shaft? Where’s the anti-torque? What kind of rotorcraft is it classified as? Above all else, HOW IS SHE EVEN USING IT TO FLY?

“Hmm?” She looked at me questioningly. “What’s wrong?” A look of confusion formed on her face.

I shook my head. “I’m just…admiring your, uh, machine, Pinks.”

“Oh, thanks!” She said, grinning. “I made it myself! It’s called the candy copter mark five! It’s the first design. Do you like it?”

“How…?” Her statement has just raised a crapload of more questions in my mind. At least when I don’t make sense, I make sense about it, but this is outright silly! This must’ve been how Geo felt when we were discussing the name of my BIRDs! My lip quivered as I finally formed a sentence. “Well, it certainly is an engineering marvel.” Understatement of the freaking century. “I doubt even I could replicate it.”

“Yay!” She exclaimed, her smile growing wider than I thought possible.

“How does it work?” I asked. “I mean, how does power get from the pedals to the propeller?”

Pinkie looked up in thought, then shrugged. “I dunno.” I grimaced. Not exactly the answer I was looking for. She looked back at me, returning to her happy face. “But I’m glad ya like it, Acey!”

I didn’t say that, and as an astrophysicist, I really couldn’t say it. I thought her machine would fall out of the air at any given moment, and my first thought was to get her off of it ASAP. “I bet you’d enjoy riding in the Sorou-mobile, Pinks.” I told her. “You helped work on it, after all.” I just handled the actual construction, and I even know how it works, so I know for a fact it’s safe.

“Oooh! So it’s finished?!” She asked, looking at the craft I was sitting in.

“Yeah, I’m just taking it out for its smoke test.” I told her. “I was gonna stop by and visit Twilight with it.”

“Okey-dokey! Just a sec!” Success! I thought, as I watched Pinkie going in for a landing. I came in behind her with the Sorou-mobile, and landed. As she dismounted from her candy copter, she suddenly ate it. I did a double take. She ate her vehicle in one gulp. I then heard her let out a blaring burp, and saw her cough up the propeller, gears, chains, a flag, and a balloon, all the parts of her chopper that weren’t candy. She brought a hoof up to her mouth in embarrassment, and said in a cute little voice, “Excuse me.”

I looked on, astonished at what I saw. “You…ate your chopper.” I said, still unable to comprehend it.

“Uh, duh!” She stated, before trotting up to me. “It would’ve attracted ants if I just left it sitting around! And I can always build another one!”

I shook my head, trying to find a question in my head that made sense. “Let me put it this way: Why make a chopper made from edible materials?” I asked.

Pinkie hopped up into my lap, snuggling into a comfortable position. “So that you can have a snack on the go, silly!” She told me with a smile.

I gotta admit, her logic made perfect sense to me, so I just gave up on trying to come up with an explanation other than ‘she’s just being Pinkie Pie.’ I put a hand on her neck, and began to stroke her mane. I don’t know why I did it, but I could tell by her reaction she enjoyed it. “So, off to see Twilight?”

Pinkie snuggled into my chest, and sighed. “Mmhmm.” She breathed happily. I caught myself blushing, but I let her use me as a pillow. I went to grab the control sticks for the Sorou-mobile, when all of a sudden, Pinkie gasped. “Oh, wait! We can’t see Twilight!” She looked up at me, as if she just remembered.

“Why not?” I cocked an eyebrow.

“Because she was in a hissy fit! She told me that something happened last night, and she was really talking bad about John. She did say that she wanted us all there today at noon, though.”

I puffed. “Figures. Alright, then what do you wanna do until then?”

She put her head back up to my chest. “I’m kinda thirsty…” She told me.

I smiled down at her. “Well, let’s stop by someplace and get some drinks, ‘kay?”

Pinkie merely nodded, settling her head against my chest again. I smiled, and my hands went to the controls. The Sorou-mobile lifted off, and we went into town, riding in style. Once we really got going, Pinkie sat up, and looked down on Ponyville from the Sorou-mobile. I heard her ‘Ooohs’ and ‘Aaahs’ as we steadily made our way over all the scenery. She must’ve been enjoying being able to fly at a steadily high speed without having to petal. It must’ve been the first time she was actually able to relax while flying. “Ooh!” She blurted. “There’s Rose!” She raised herself up, and waved a hoof down below. “Hey, Rose!” She shouted down. “I have something for your mom!” She produced a package from…God knows where…and tossed it down to the pony below. “Hope she gets well, soon!”

Ignoring the fact that she’s producing things from thin air, now, I decided to make some conversation with Pinkie. “What’s wrong with Rose’s mom?” I asked.

“Oh, she got hurt in her garden last week.” Pinkie told me. “Doctors say that she needs a few days in the hospital to recover.”

“Well, my thoughts go out to her.” I said, feeling sympathy for the poor mare. “Let Rose know that when you see her again.”

“No problem, Acey!’ Pinkie said, looking back at me. I noticed as I drove through the sky, she was staring. I paid attention to where I was going though, giving no hint that I noticed her, but I did make a mental note of it. For a moment, Pinkie looked like she was gonna say something, but she stopped herself, before looking back down below. Suddenly, Pinkie looked up with a big smile. “Hey! There’s sugarcube corner! Let’s get some sarsaparilla!” She suggested.

“Sounds like a plan to me!” I took the Sorou-mobile in for a landing, parking it on one side of the door. We spent the rest of the morning talking amongst ourselves, making idle conversation. After an hour or two of chatting, we got in the Sorou-mobile, and flew to the library. Pinkie Pie sat in my lap, and I held tightly to her. We both shared a large smile, and she got herself into a comfortable position, leaning her head on my shoulder.

Love and War

So as it turned out, John had actually been a spy for the British Government, and the afternoon meeting at Twilight’s was about him coming to explain himself. When I heard this, I had planned to catch John in a legal bind for so readily exposing my secrets, but he seemed sincere enough when he apologized, stated that he did respect us, and really, he didn’t come making excuses for what he did or anything like that. And for that, he earned my respect. As a result, Pinkie threw a party to celebrate John still being our friend. Well, I’ve heard worse reasons to celebrate. But the party didn’t really kick into gear until we all found out Twilight was pregnant. Somehow, I knew it would happen, but I didn’t want to claim bragging rights, so I constrained myself to asking how it’s possible. And when I heard Twilight admit she was wrong, my respect for her grew. You don’t find many in intellectual fields willing to do such a thing. The party was truly a jovial celebration after that, and everyone was dancing to one of Pinkie’s favorite records.

The music stopped as the record on Pinkie’s phonograph finished the side it was on. Everyone was enjoying the party, it seemed. Looking around the library, I noticed a piano in the corner. “Wow, Twilight.” I said, catching her attention. “You have a piano?”

Twilight looked the direction I was looking, and brightened her expression. “Oh yeah! It’s Spike’s, actually. I got it for him when he started learning how to play the piano.”

“You should hear it, Acey!” Pinkie chimed in. “He played the piano for me during one of my songs! He’s a real maestro!” She giggled in her cute little voice, and I smiled.

“Oh, you like maestros, Pinks?” I asked, polishing my fingernails on my coat. “Because it just so happens that I know a thing or two about playing a piano, as well.” I glanced down at my fingers, a confident look on my face.

Pinkie gasped happily, and in my peripheral vision, I saw an annoyed look cross Rainbow Dash’s face. “You should totally play some music for us!” She said. “That would be superiffically-super-stupendously –awesome!” Pinkie was bouncing giddily with every word.

“Yeah, you should!” Rainbow added. “Let’s see if you’re really all that!” I take it she didn’t like my overconfidence. She obviously wants me to put my money where my mouth is. In response to this realization, I glanced over to Twilight, who nodded.

“Spike isn’t here, right now, but I don’t see any harm with you using his piano.” She told me.

I smiled, and confidently strolled to the piano, stepping over the chair, and flipping my lab coat back, as if it were a pianist’s coattails. I set to playing, beginning with a personal favorite of mine. It was a haunting melody at first, but as it played out, it became gentle, soothing, and comforting. And it had the beauty it first had when I first heard it. So full of mystery and wonder was the tune. It was still as lovely as ever.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard this one.” Geo stated. “Then again, I don’t know many Classical pieces.”

“This is actually from a game.” I told him, still playing. “It’s called Memory and the game is called Ib.”

“Ib?” I heard John ask.

I smiled. “’Ib’ is about a little girl named Ib who gets trapped in the world of a famous painter. In order to survive, she has to protect her rose. While in the world, she meets a young man named ‘Garry.’ Together, they have to escape the artist’s world, and return to the world they came from. Garry ends up being Ib’s protector, guarding her from the creatures that come after them. It’s a very moving tale, and I highly recommend it.”

The melody echoed through the library, as I continued to play. I noticed Pinkie was suddenly laying on the piano bench next to me, but I did not stop playing. “That sounds like a neat-o story, Acey.” She told me, smiling. “I can’t imagine what kind of adventure they had.”

“There are few who can.” I replied, continuing my performance. In a fit of what I believe to be insanity, I decided to tease Pinkie. “Do you think you could protect your rose in such a world, Pinks?”

She blushed in embarrassment, as she considered the possibility. “Uh, no, actually.” She admitted. “I’d probably end up eating it.”

“In that case, I would protect you from yourself.” I said, changing my tune. “I would have to be your Garry, sheltering you from harm, and ensuring you’d find comfort in my warm embrace.” She smiled, her cheeks blushing redder, and her ears flopping down. I continued my assault, returning the smile. “You’re an angel sweeter than any confection you could cook. And I would be your champion, guarding you from the many evils that threaten to ruin such sweetness.” I heard a faint squeal emanating from her throat, as she shut her eyes in happiness. “I would carry you through all the dangers of the world, sweet Pinkie. And together, we would form a bond that lasted forev-“

“That’s it!” She exclaimed. I suddenly found myself tackled to the ground, locking lips with the pink partier. Actually, it wasn’t so much as locking lips, as it was being attacked rapidly by many kisses. I lost count around seven, I think. It’s difficult to think when a mare like Pinkie Pie is trying to show her affections to you. She stopped soon after, snuggling up to me, and resting her arms on my chest. “Ah, that feels better.” She cooed, nuzzling my chest.

Smiling, I wrapped my arms around her, and gave an Eskimo kiss to the top of her head. “Aww, Pinks. You DO care.” I said, laughing. We didn’t need to say it, because it was apparent to everyone in the room. We were in love.

“I knew it! I knew this was going to happen!” I heard Geo shout, as everyone else in the room cheered for us.
********

The rest of the party continued, everyone celebrating the re-introduction of John as a true friend, the newfound knowledge that Geo and Twilight had a foal on the way, and now, Pinkie and I forming a relationship. She and I hung out together, discussing what we would do now. I was happy with being with her, but not as happy as she was. I swear, she couldn’t keep her hooves off me for at least an hour, and it was only when I said that I needed to go to the restroom that she let me be for a few minutes. After I got back out, though, it was back to being mercilessly cuddled by my new fillyfriend.

After the sun went down, everyone had to leave. I ended up carrying my pink pony out of the library, letting her melt into a comfortable position in my arms. I strode up to the Sorou-mobile, saying our goodbyes to everyone for the day. My machine lifted off, and we sped off into the twilight.

I had some work to do at the lab, and poor Tiny was probably still working on the new building I had assigned for him this morning. So I decided to take Pinkie with me. She didn’t seem to mind, as she snuggled up to me, sighing contentedly. We parked outside the lab, and before I brought Pinkie inside, I gave Tiny a break, observing his work on the small, automated factory that I had him set up. Now I could mass produce my mine-bots, and send them out to gather the resources I needed to make more robots. Pinkie had fallen asleep on the ride over, and not wanting to wake her, I set her on my bed, and put my blanket over her. As soon as she was all tucked in, I went back to my lab’s work area, closing the door behind me, and starting up my work.

I began calculating the power requirements for my latest and greatest creation yet, a large mining robot that I would pilot. It would have no control system of its own, relying instead on the presence of the Sorou-mobile resting in the cockpit for all its controls. I dubbed it ‘the Rockidile.’ I was midway through calculating how many of what types of engines the Rockidile would need, when I heard a noise in my lab. I looked over to my bedroom door, to see it was still closed. To be sure that Pinkie wasn’t awake, I walked over, and pressed the activation switch. The door slid open, and I saw that Pinkie was still resting on my bed. I closed the door. Something else was in my lab. I whistled over at one of my BIRDs. “Petey, Intruder alert.” I said, holding out my hand. Petey spread his wings, flew over to me, and transformed into a taser.

I glanced around the lab, not quite sure what to expect. I called out, no trace of the fear I held in my voice. “Who’s there?!” I demanded. There was no answer, as I paced to the center of the room. “I warn you, I am armed!” Just then, my filing cabinet shook. I slowly made my way over to the cabinet, and lowered myself to the bottom drawer. Then, I gripped the handle, and ripped the drawer open.

Inside was a sight that annoyed me to no end. A foal that I had seen many times before. He was a lanky white Pegasus, with brown hair, and a camera for a cutie mark.

“SnooPING AS usual, I see!” I shouted, hoisting the foal out of my filing cabinet.

“Aah! I’m-I’m sorry, Mr. Sorou!” The Pegasus squealed.

“Doctor! I’ve told you before, it’s Dr. Sorou!” I said, holding him by the scruff of his neck. I saw that the little pony was wearing saddlebags. I reached for it, and he began panicking.

“No! I-I didn’t take anything, I swear!” Ignoring his protests, I found a stack of thin papers that felt kinda stiff. When I took them out, I discovered they were pictures from his camera.

I put the foal down, who suddenly had a look as if he were on the verge of tears. The pictures were of various secret documents that I kept secret for many reasons. I glared down at him. “Didn’t take anything, eh?” I said, nonchalantly. “Looks like you took photos, to me. I wonder what your parents would think if they knew you were snooping in other people’s homes, and taking pictures of their secret things?”

The fragile colt seemed to suddenly grow a backbone. “It can’t be any worse than what they’d think of you once this information goes public!” He shouted. “You’re planning terrible things for Ponyville!”

“Terrible things?” I looked up, cocking an eyebrow. “Where do you get that idea?”

“Y-your programming plans!” He responded. “Every robot you program has a built in battle mode that you can activate at any time! It said so on the fourth document!” Smart kid. I actually found what he was talking about in his photoset. “Don’t act like you’re innocent! I knew you were bad news the moment I saw you! This time, I have proof!”

“Tsk tsk tsk…” I shook my head. “You’re really on about making me look bad, aren’t you?” This young colt has been nothing but trouble. I guess I have been acting suspiciously, keeping secrets when he got too inquisitive, and all. His suspicions had fueled a desire to uncover some truth about me, and now he found one of my secrets. “You’ve discovered that I have, at my command, a small army of robots capable of attacking whatever I perceive as a threat. Are you so certain that’s a bad thing?” He nodded firmly. “Oh dear. Perhaps I should clear up your misconceptions about my intentions.” I said, taking a knee. “I am not the vile fiend you believe I am.” I told him, truthfully. “I think it’s time I came clean with you, so that we can put all this nonsense behind us. I am a kind and caring person, after all.”

“If that’s so, then why program your robots for war?” He demanded.

I nodded. “A just question, Mr. Featherweight.” I stood, and turned around to look at my lab. I began pacing, placing my hands behind my back. “Tell me, Mr. Featherweight. Have you ever loved something or someone so much, that you would do anything to protect it?”

“Uh…” Featherweight said, thinking. I smiled when he answered “Yes.”

“What is it?”

“My…” I heard him gulp. “My mom.”

“A noble cause, to defend your mother.” I turned around to face him, pacing, and using my hands to emphasize my words. “If your mother was in danger, and you had a forbidden item that could save her, would you use it, knowing that you might get in trouble for it?”

“Yes!” He piped up, immediately. “I would do anything to defend my mom, even if it meant I’d be grounded for the rest of my life!”

“Well it just so happens that I feel the same way about Ponyville and Equestria.” I told him. “This place…It’s so happy, so peaceful, so unlike my own world. I would give anything to see it safe.” I was speaking from the heart, and it was obvious in my enunciation.

“I don’t understand.” Featherweight said, looking up at me quizzically. “If you want to protect it, then why build your machines with battle modes?”

“Because…” I sighed, and took a seat. My thoughts and concerns went to the thing that’s been bothering me the most. “…Ever since I’ve learned about the Diamond Dogs, and what they do to the ponies they take, I feel obligated to protect everypony from them. I have the means to do it; I know how to beat them. So I figured, why not?” I turned back to Featherweight. “Getting back to my previous example, if you had the power to protect your mother, and she was being threatened, you would feel obligated to step in and protect her, would you not?” He nodded. “That’s exactly how I feel. Installing a battle mode into my machines allows me to form a ready militia to combat them on the fly. Think about it. Do you see a royal garrison in these parts? A barracks? Or any military compound?” Featherweight shook his head. “That’s why. In the event of a Diamond Dog raid, we would be left to fend for ourselves.

“I don’t blame anypony.” I continued. “Equestria is a peaceful nation, and it’s easy to lax your security in a utopia like this. But if ponies knew that I was going around creating war machines in secret, they would easily mistake me to be a warmonger and a bad guy. I would either be run out of town, or forced to program out the battle mode on every one of my bots. What would happen if the Diamond Dogs attacked after one of those things happened? Ponies like your mother would end up being ponynapped, and there’s not a damn thing anypony could do about it, that’s what. And I would end up kicking myself for not being able to help Ponyville. Don’t get me wrong, I love each and every one of my creations as if they were my children. But I can repair a robot, and I can’t repair a pony, so I’d much rather see my bots on the front lines. It’s like the great general Sun Tzu said: ‘to be a great commander, you have to love your troops. To be a great general, you have to be willing to sacrifice that which you love.’”

Featherweight was listening intently to my spiel, hanging on every word. I concluded with, “So you see, Featherweight. I don’t keep secrets out of a want to conquer. I keep them out of a want to defend. One day, you’ll see first…” I paused. “…hoof, that the battle modes for my bots are necessary, because I believe everypony has a right to live, and nopony should have to mourn their parent, sibling, spouse, child, or friend. Its better my creations take the punishments reserved for Ponyville.” I held out the pictures to him.

Featherweight looked up at me in disbelief. I was giving him the very thing that would get me run out of Ponyville, and he would be able to publish it in the Foal Free Press. He looked at the photos, and then back to me. “Why are you giving me the pictures?” He asked.

“Because you are a good colt, and I trust you to make the right decision.” I told him. “If you truly understand that my position is a just one, then you’ll dispose of these photos.” I waved them toward him, tempting him to take them.

He reached for the photos, and I never drew back. Once he had them, he thought about what he was going to do with them.

I held my breath.

Nightmares wear ties

For the longest time, Featherweight looked at the pictures before him. Just a few minutes ago, he was ready to dash out of my lab with them to be used as evidence that I was up to no good. He was more than willing to drag my name through the mud, just because he was scared of me, and my secrets. But when I look into his eyes, I see the uncertainty of his situation. The choice he makes now will not only affect me, but all of Ponyville, possibly, all of Equestria. I wonder if he understands the burden of the decision he has on his shoulde-

“What did you do to Ms. Pie?” He questioned.

I shook my head. “Say again?”

“Pinkie. I saw you carry her in, and set her on your bed. What did you do to her?” He was getting his accusing glare settled on me again.

“What did I do to her, you ask?” I smiled. “Well, if you must know…” I paused for dramatic effect, watching Featherweight get ready to pounce at me. “…I fell in love with her.”

Featherweight blinked. Was such a thing beyond his comprehension, I wondered? He was young, but he seemed old enough, or at least, mature enough, to understand the concepts of his elders. He looked at me, and asked, “Does she…love you?”

“Well, yes.” I replied. “If the dozens of kisses she gave me earlier are any indication.”

He suddenly had a look of disgust on his face. “Blech. You didn’t get cooties, did you?”

It was all I could do to keep myself from laughing. I guess he wasn’t quite as mature as I thought. In response, I merely shook my head.

“Well, if somepony loves you, that must mean they trust you.” Featherweight reasoned. “And if Ms. Pinkie Pie trusts you, then so do I.” I watched him take the photos, and tear them to shreds in his teeth. I exhaled, relieved that I can continue my work once again. This time, though, I doubt Featherweight would be bothering me. When he was done, he spat out a piece of his photo, and said, “Just promise me one thing. If Ponyville does get attacked, promise me that you’ll do everything you can to defend everypony in Ponyville.”

I nodded, and pointed a finger. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.” All the proper motions made, I smiled. He, in turn, seemed satisfied. “Now run on home, Featherweight.” I said. “Your mother must be worried sick. If she wants to ground you, tell her to speak to me, first. You’ll not regret it.”

Featherweight smiled, and waved goodbye, before exiting my lab. I went back to work, muttering various numbers and equations to myself.

*******

It had been months since Featherweight’s visit. Months of me building up my force of Mine-bots. I’m glad I wasn’t run out of town. I got to enjoy my time with friends, especially Pinkie. Those months seemed to go by fast, and now, it’s close to Nightmare Night. I had something special planned for it. It was a secret, and a very fun one, at that. Rarity was now dropping off the last piece of the surprise.

“Oh, Doctor~!” The sing-songy voice of Rarity called down. “I have your special order for you~!”

“Come on down, Rarity!” I shouted up at her. “I’m kinda working right now, and I can’t drop anything.” I heard her trotting down the stairs, my parcel sticking out of her saddlebag. She took it, and set it on a chair near the doorway. My hands were in the ‘guts’ of my newest creation, which happened to be the Nightmare Night surprise. She looked over to what I was doing, looking disgusted by my efforts.

“Eww!” She said, seeing the grease and oil covering my hands. “Doctor, how can you stand to have such filth on your hands? Even Applejack would be disgusted by that black gunk! It smells positively foul!”

“That is the smell of progress, dear Rarity!” I exclaimed happily, as I continued to adjust fittings. “Once I finish working on the innards of my new friend here, this coming Nightmare Night will be one to remember!”

Rarity looked at the machine. It was a tall, humanoid shape, easily beating my height by about three feet. It had long, lanky limbs, and was thinner than a human. “That…thing, is your surprise for Nightmare Night?” She asked.

“You haven’t told anyone that I had a surprise for Nightmare Night, have you?”

Rarity shook her head. “No, I’ve kept mum, as you requested. A lady must keep her word after all.” She looked at the parcel, then back at my work. “Is that…machine, going to wear the wonderful suit I’ve created? The measurements you gave me weren’t exactly your size.”

“Very good deductive reasoning, Rarity.” I replied. “I’m modeling this bot after an urban myth from my world. Don’t worry, this’ll be a lot of fun.”

Rarity looked at my bot, uncertainty in her eyes. “If…you say so.” She said. “In any case, I need to head back to my boutique. Sweetie and her friends are coming soon, and you know what a Nightmare Night they cause whenever they stay over.”

I rolled my eyes. I had to babysit them once or twice, and I had to build two bots specifically designed for helping me with children after that. “Tell me about it. Good luck, Rarity!” I just finished what I was doing, and turned to her, remembering something. “Oh, and, don’t tell anyone about my new bot here. I’m going to be revealing him later today.”

“Alright.” She smiled. “Good day, doctor.” I watched her leave, and then wiped my hands on a rag on the table. My bot was ready.

“Alright, buddy.” I said, closing the panel I was working on. “Let’s get you suited up.”

*******

I had my nose in a ‘myths and legends’ book, and was walking around Ponyville later that day. I was looking for Geo, and I found him sitting at a bench with Twilight, happily enjoying a sunny day in town square. I smiled, raising my PDA. “Alright, buddy. Appear in position one when I say the word ‘tragedy.’ Then disappear when I say the word ‘symptoms.’” I couldn’t help but grin, hiding it behind the book I was reading. “This is gonna be great.” I strolled by Geo, and he took notice of me.

“Doctor.” He nodded with a smile.

I looked up from my book. “Oh hey, Geo!” I replied, stopping. “I heard about what happened. You alright?”

Geo nodded. “I’m fine. If John wasn’t there, though, things could’ve got real bad.” He sighed. “I’m just glad I’m still around.”

“I think we all are.” I replied. “Right, Twi?”

Twilight nodded, rubbing her head along his arm. “I know I am.” She took notice of my book. “What are you reading?” She asked.

‘Perfect.’ I thought, causing my smile to become only slightly mischievous. “Oh, this is a book on legends and myths from our world.” I said. “I got it a long while back, but I’ve never actually read it, until now.” I suddenly looked inquisitive. “Hey Geo, have you ever heard of Slenderman?”

He shook his head. “No, I haven’t.”

‘Hook, line, and sinker.’ I thought. “He’s an urban legend where we come from, though I think I have some evidence that he actually exists.” I told him. “In fact, I have my suspicions that he’s found my portal, and entered this world.”

He blinked. “Should we be worried?” He asked.

“I don’t know. Here, let me read you a passage from the book, and see if you think so.” I raised my book up to my face, and began reading out loud. “Slenderman generally appears as a tall man in a black suit, with a black tie, and white shirt.” I read a bit louder than necessary. “He has no eyes, mouth, or clearly defined facial features. He has no hair, and generally has normal-looking bare hands. Slenderman typically is depicted in imagery and literature as between six and fifteen feet tall, depending on the situation, and in video as around six to seven feet tall.” A small crowd began to form.

“He is shown to behave in a very passive aggressive manner, stalking targets for years at a time, torturing his target mentally for various unknown reasons. He is rarely ever shown in a benevolent light and is typically shown as a malevolent force. While a description in words can be given, human language lacks the ability to truly define the entity until such a time as when humans can interact with him.” I had him. They were all listening in on my reading, and Geo was paying special attention.

“What’s most disturbing about him is his Modus Operandi. Slenderman will find interest in a victim for reasons unknown. He would then contact the victim, if it is a child, presenting himself as friendly. The adults he stalks have a common trait: they have all been through a terrible tragedy in their life…” I saw him jump in shock, paying attention to something behind me. “…even if the tragedy was made by Slenderman directly.” Geo was paying attention to me, now, a look of concern on his face. “If an adult, he would stalk the victim for long amounts of time causing what is known as ‘Slender sickness’ causing massive paranoia, nose bleeds, nightmares, hallucinations appearing to only the sick person, and many other dangerous symptoms.” He looked back at whatever was behind me, and gasped. “Eventually, he would abduct the victim into nearby forests, where they would be killed. In 'messy' cases, he may remove evidence of his existence by causing fire of their home, place of work, or school.” I looked down at him. “So, Geo. I don’t know if he actually exists, but to answer your question, it would be bad if he were here.”

“Did you see that?” He asked me, his face twisted in disbelief.

I shook my head. “Sorry, I was reading.” I told him, keeping a straight face. “Is something wrong?”

He stood up, and walked in the direction he saw something in. “I swear, I saw something peeking behind the corner.” He pointed. “Over there, then it just disappeared.”

I looked over, and shook my head. “Well, it’s not there now. It was probably a pony or something.”

Geo shook his head vigorously. “No, no, it looked more like that thing you were describing. Slenderman? It looked like him.”

I shrugged. “I didn’t see anything.” I said.

“But I’m telling you, he was there!” Geo insisted.

“Geo, are you alright?” I asked. “You’re not getting ‘Slender Sickness,’ are you?” I stifled a quiet snicker.

“I’m not sick, I’m…” He looked up, then turned to me. “Wait…” I snickered, and then burst out into laughter. Geo was astonished, to say the least. “You cheeky bastard!” He shouted, as I continued to laugh. “Who did you get to help you?! John?!”

I shook my head, caught my breath, and looked over near the corner. “You can come out now, Slendy!” I called. Just then, an eight foot tall Slenderman look-alike appeared out of nowhere, giving everyone a start. I strolled over. “Everyone, this is Slender-bot!” I announced with a smile. “I created him specifically for Nightmare Night! He has many of the same traits and abilities as the real Slenderman, but he will not harm you. He’s only there to make the coming Nightmare Night a little more fun! So when you see him, Nopony panic! He’s alright!” I looked over to Geo, and started laughing again. “Oh, you should’ve seen the look on your face.” I told him.

Geo shook his head in disdain, but I knew he was teasing. “You’re gonna get yours one day, you know that?” He told me, pointing a finger.

I chuckled. “I’ll be waiting. Oh, by the way, if you REALLY want revenge, stop by the lab this weekend. I got a surprise for you, and you'll not regret it.” I stayed with Slender-bot a while, and answered the various questions that got brought up about him. After which, I dismissed Slendy, and went to Sugarcube corner to tell Pinkie about the awesome prank I just pulled. She’d love to hear about it.

Frickin' laser beams!

That weekend, I got some equipment together, and waited outside my lab. I knew Geo would like to get his mind off the coming trial, so I thought a little game was in order. I had been planning this game for months, and I even built a structure dedicated to it. I was so certain Geo and John would like this little surprise I set up for them, so with a smile, I waited for Geo and John, looking for them to come over the hill between my lab and Ponyville. When I finally saw them, I grinned wide, and gave an enthusiastic wave. “Hay guyz!” I called.

They both waved back, coming over to me. “Hey, Doctor.” John said. “I hope you don’t mind, but I invited Applejack over. She said she’d like to see the game you have planned.”

“Game?” Geo asked, looking over at John. “What kind of game are we talking about? You told me yesterday that I can get my shot at revenge.” He looked back at me.

“John, I don’t mind if Applejack comes over, and yes Geo, you will get your chance.” I told them, adjusting my goggles so that they were now over my face. “Trust me, you’re gonna love it.”

“ACEYYYYYYYYYYY!” Suddenly, the winds echoed out with the angry voice of Pinkie Pie. Before I had the chance to panic, I was tackled to the ground in a flash of pink. When my vision cleared, Pinkie Pie was standing on top of me, glaring at me with the flames of Tartarus burning in her eyes. She was breathing heavily, and fogging up my goggles. “HOW COULD YOU!?” She shouted, causing me to put my hands in front of my face.

“What?!WhatdidIdo?!” I exclaimed quickly.

“Don’t play like you’re innocent, Acey!” She shouted at me. “You know what you did!” She began tearing up. “I…I thought we were an item! I thought we’d be together forever!” She said, sniffling, and angry tears streaming down her face.

I was lost, confused, and above all, worried. Did I do something wrong? My mind went over everything that occurred between us, and every memory I had with or involving Pinkie was a happy one. It was all flashing before my eyes, and I didn’t think I’d be able to salvage this.

“Now, hold on a sec, Sugarcube.” Applejack’s voice rang out. “Now ah understand that yer upset with ‘im, but ahm sure he’s got a might good reason fer not tellin’ ya! It’s nothin’ ta get yer knickers in a bunch over, so give ‘em a chance to explain.” My goggles thoroughly fogged up, I couldn’t see anything, but as soon as Pinkie’s weight was off my body, I sat up, and raised my goggles so I could see. I saw Pinkie still glaring at me, on the verge of tears, Applejack comforting her, and trying to calm her down, Rainbow Dash, folding her arms, and treating me with an equally harsh glare, Fluttershy, with her as always unreadable expression, and Twilight and Rarity both looking on with concern. I thought again, and I still couldn’t come up with anything that I might’ve done wrong. I tell her everything, if I think she would like to know, but nothing came up that she would be offended over.

“Uh, may I ask what this is about?” I asked, confusion crossing my face.

“Oh, don’t act like you don’t know!” Pinkie shouted, as she began sobbing.

I went over the facts for a third time, and still came up with nothing. “Uh, yes Pat. I’d like to buy a vowel?” I said, waving a hand over my head. “I still don’t understand what you’re upset at me for.”

All the ponies turned to Applejack, who looked like she was reading my expression. She sighed, and stepped towards me. “Alright, Sugercube, let me fill ya in.” She said. “Pinkie don’t think you like her no more. Ah told her that you invited John over to play a new game, and she thought, since y’all didn’t invite her, that ya didn’t want her around.”

Poker face. For a long moment, I blinked awkwardly towards my audience, giving time for my brain to reboot. “What?!” I finally exclaimed, in an annoyed voice. “Ah-bah-dah-dah, What?!” This was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard, and I said so. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard!” I looked over to Pinkie. “Pinks, just because I don’t invite you to a game, it doesn’t mean I don’t wanna be your coltfriend anymore!” I told her.

“Then why didn’t you invite me!?” She responded with hostility.

“Because I didn’t think you’d like a game where you’d have to shoot me with a gun!” I shouted.

Suddenly, silence. It was everyone else’s turn to have a poker face. It was Geo who broke the silence. “Damn, doc. I’m not that angry with you over the prank.” He said.

I shook my head. “No, Geo, you don’t…” I rubbed my eyes. “Let me get the equipment.” I got up, and went over to a cart that had the equipment for the game. They were vests and hats adorned with lights and sensors, and with toy weapons attached to them. I took the one with the attached pistol, and put it on. I strolled back over to the group, activating a switch on my vest, and holding an annoyed expression on my face. “It’s laser tag.” I said, holding up the pistol. “You take a completely nonlethal laser gun, and shoot at your opponent. If you’re hit…” I pointed the laser pistol at myself, and pulled the trigger. The lights on my vest blinked, and a corny explosion crackled from the speakers on it. “That’s all that’s going on. I remembered how much you, John, and I loved playing each other in First Person Shooters back in our world, but since you kinda broke the PS3, I figured we could have an In Real Life Free For All deathmatch.” I turned to Pinkie, and sighed. “I’m really sorry, Pinks. But I didn’t know if you’d like this game. At the same time, I know for a fact that ponies can’t use guns. I could probably whip something up so that you could play next time, but I promise. From now on, if I ever get a game going that you aren’t familiar with, I’ll ask you if you want to play too, alright?”

Instead of looking relieved, Pinkie suddenly looked more downtrodden than ever. She sniffled, her eyes focusing on the ground in front of her. “I’m sorry I ever doubted you, Acey.” She told me. “My behavior just now…it was just awful.”

“Aww, Pinks.” I said, taking a knee and hugging her. “Don’t worry about it. These things can happen to anyone. I still love you. If anything, we’re closer than ever now, right?”

I heard her sniff, as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. “Right.” She pulled back, and I was relieved to see her smile again. We shared a kiss, and then she chuckled, happy that everything was reconciled.

“If you want, you guys can sit in on the match.” I said. “There is a viewing booth that you can view the playing field from, and root for your guy.” Everypony looked at each other, and nodded in agreement.

“That sounds like fun.” Twilight said. There was a chorus of agreement with the rest of the ponies.

“Great!” I said, going back over to the cart. “Everyone follow me!” I pushed the cart over to a large square building with two entrances. “Everyone playing goes into the door on the right. Everyone observing goes into the door on the left.” I informed. The group broke apart, and Geo, John and I went into our door.

*******

We found ourselves in the waiting area, and I explained the rules. “Alright, I only have three weapons right now, the pistol, the shotgun, and the assault rifle. These are lasers, so I’m gonna ask everyone to please put on the glasses inside the hat.” I simply lowered my goggles, which had become mostly unfogged. I watched Geo and John put their glasses on, and distribute which weapon they wanted. Geo chose the shotgun, John the assault rifle. “Now, these weapons function similar to the real thing.” I stated, as they looked back over to me. “You have infinite ammo, but you still need to reload, so pay attention to your ammo counter. When you wanna reload,” I demonstrated with my weapon. “You simply drop the magazine, and slap it in again. The magazine will stay in the receiver, so don’t try to pull it out. If you wanna go melee, just take this.”

I reached up to my left shoulder, and pulled out a handle. A translucent red light emitted from the handle. “This is a light knife.” I said. “Any kill you get with this adds to your kill count. You can’t actually hurt anyone with it, but the handle will pummel somebody good, so be careful.” I put my knife away. “Once I enter you in the system, you’ll show up on the scoreboard.” I took a small screen attached to my vest. “Here, you can keep track of your kills, deaths, and overall score. Every player is on the scoreboard, so you can see theirs, as well. Everyone can be hit five times before they’re killed, unless they’re shot in the head or knifed, which is an insta-kill.

“If you’re killed, you won’t be able to fire your weapon, and the lights on your vest and hat will go out. You need to find your way over to a red or blue square on the ground, and wait for your lights to come back on. In other words, you go back to a spawn point. I think that about covers it. Are there any questions?” I asked. John and Geo shook their heads; I took a moment to enter them into a system next to the door. “Alright, we have twenty seconds to get to a spawn point once the game begins. There’s only one rule; have fun!” We faced the door leading to the field, and the game was on!

*******

Back in the viewing booth, the six ponies were getting to watch their three human friends in action. There was a large central screen that showed the playing field that switched cameras every twenty seconds. As well, there were several smaller screens off to the sides that transmitted data from cameras hooked up to the hats, so they could see what the players were seeing. Each was marked with different names that appeared on a ticker below their respective screen. GeodesicDragon, EsteemedDoctorSorou, and DoubleOhJohn.

“Match start.” Called a computerized voice, acting as an announcer.

“Ooh! Isn’t this exciting?!” Pinkie chattered. “I betcha Acey’s gonna win! He’s super-duper-smart! He’ll be able to outsmart everyone else!”

“Nah.” Rainbow said, shaking his head. “He’s out of shape. Sure, he’s got a good head on his shoulders, but he’s not nearly as active as John or Geo.”

“I gotta admit, mah bits are on John.” Applejack chimed in. “He trained with the British Army. He’s sure to win.”

“First blood.” Called the announcer. The ponies looked back at the screen, and saw the killticker. EsteemedDoctorSorou /== GeodesicDragon.

“I should’ve seen that coming.” Geo’s voice crackled.

“Just goes to show, you should pay more attention.” Ace boasted.

“Headshot.” The announcer called.
DoubleOhJohn -*0 EsteemedDoctorSorou

“So should you, mate!” John called.

“I admit, I walked into that one.” Ace laughed.
*******

As the match went on, Geo seemed to have just given up. He was resting next to the spawn point. “Between the FPS pro, and the MI6 agent, I don’t have a chance. I’m out.”

“Really, Geo?” Ace responded.

Geo nodded. “You’re both ten points ahead, and we’re on the last point. I’m just gonna end up feeding somebody a win.”

Ace groaned. “Aww, well that sucks. Looks like it’s just you and me, John.”

“Better keep your head down, Doc.” John said. “I’ve been the one getting all the headshots.”

“I’m calling it, now.” Ace grinned. “I’m ending this on an assassination.”

John slowly stalked through the dim hallways, his assault rifle in hand. “That’s a pretty bold claim, Doc. You really think you can sneak up on me?”
For a moment, there wasn’t an answer. Then suddenly, Ace popped out from a netted corner, and sunk his light knife into John’s back.

“Assassination. Game over.” The announcer called.
EsteemedDoctorSorou =|==> DoubleOhJohn

John looked over at Ace, surprise on his face. “Where did you come from?”

“I don’t need to sneak up on you…” He pointed to the corner he was hiding in. “…when I can watch you walk right by my hiding spot.”

John shrugged. He couldn’t argue with that logic. The dim lights brightened up, and the three gamers proceeded off the field. Geo pointed a finger at Ace. “You’re a fucking camper.” He said, in a good natured manner.

Ace shrugged. “It’s a legitimate strategy.” He responded.

John slung his rifle over his shoulder. ”This was fun, I’m glad I stopped by.”

“I’m glad you guys could make it.” Ace replied, as they entered the waiting room. “Geo, I need to talk to ya, man.” He said, putting a hand on his shoulder. John went on ahead to put his equipment away. In a hushed tone, Ace whispered, “Look, I know you’re worried about the trial. I’ve done some studying into Equestrian law. If you want, I can represent you.”

Geo shook his head. “No, that’s fine.” He replied. “You’re a smart man, Ace. But you aren’t a lawyer. I’d feel more comfortable if someone with a law degree represented me. Sorry.”

Ace nodded. “I understand. When’s the trial?”

“A couple months from now.” Geo responded.

“Then I’ll be there, rooting for ya.” Ace promised.

“I’ll look forward to it.” Geo smiled.
*******
I exited the building with John and Geo, and we met the girls outside. Pinkie immediately jumped up and hugged me. “That was the coolest most stupendalicious game I had ever seen! A bit violent, but it was really awesome! I knew you’d win, Acey!”

Twilight was very inquisitive about what she had just seen. “Are games like that common on your world?” She asked.

Geo and I looked at each other, unsure of how to answer that. I looked back at Twilight. “Well, laser tag itself isn’t recognized as a sport.” I said. “But I’ve seen a bunch of laser tag buildings in my life in various cities.”

“I think the closest most people get to playing laser tag is sitting in their living rooms, playing First Person Shooter games like Call of Duty.” Geo added. “This is the first time I actually played anything like it in real life.”

“Well, I can’t say it’s a sport I can get behind.” Rarity said. “It encourages people to fight, and be violent.”

“What do you expect from humans?” I replied. “We’re a violent species by nature.” I looked at Pinkie, whom I was still carrying, and snuggled her into my arms. “But that doesn’t mean we don’t know how to love.”

Rainbow Dash looked over at Fluttershy. “What did you think of the game?” She asked.

Fluttershy looked down meekly. “Well, um, I think it’s nice…” She began. “But, I wouldn’t…play it myself…”

Rainbow smiled. “Well, I liked it! The excitement, the thrill, the utter surprise your opponents feel when you get one over on them!” She announced triumphantly, shooting up to eye level with me. “Doc, next time you host one of these games, count me in!” She demanded, flying along.

I shrugged. “I’ll see if I can whip something up. Pinks, I’m gonna need your help to do it.”

John laughed. “Looks like we’ve got a noob on the battlefield next match.”

Geo chuckled. “Well, I can’t be the only one who sucks at this game, can I?”

Rainbow Dash looked over at John and Geo, an undignified look crossing her face. “Hey!” She exclaimed. “I resent that!”

“Don’t worry, Rainbow.” I said. “It’s tradition to pick on the new guy. We’re just putting ya through your paces.” I looked over to Geo. “Also, Geo, I highly recommend you come back next week, for both our sakes. You can sharpen your skills, and I can use the exercise. With any luck, we’ll be able to have different game modes.”

“That sounds like fun.” He replied.

Afterwards, we all said our goodbyes, and got back to our day. Pinkie chose to spend more time with me, and that was fine by me. I had a surprise for her, anyway.

Playing with fire

I took Pinkie down into my lab, and let her leap out of my arms. “So, what are you gonna work on, Acey?” She said quickly. “Are you gonna work on some laser tag gear for Rainbow Dash? Are you gonna make a vest that fits for her?” She gasped, getting an idea. “You should totally have me model the vests for you! I like the vests! With all the gizmos, and flashing lights!” She made some sounds with her mouth that sounded like a series of explosions, and giggled. “They’re pretty! I bet I could turn into a walking party wearing one!”

I laughed. “You already are a walking party, Pinks.” I said, moving over to the counter top, and reaching for a drawer. “Actually, I do have something you can model for me.” I told her, which caused her to dart up to me.

“Oh, really?!” She exclaimed, before she started bouncing. “I wanna see! I wanna see!”

I waved for her to stand still for a second, as I pulled open a drawer, and took out a gold choker set with a string of lights. I knelt down, and put it around her neck. The lights activated, and began flashing in different multicolored bulbs. I stood up, and we both admired the device.

She blinked, before looking up at me with a smile. “Ooh! Ooh! Is this something you’re gonna be using for laser tag? Is it a targeting thingy that tells you whether or not you’re hit?”

I shook my head. “Actually, it’s a decorative choker, and nothing more. I had some gold amongst the materials some of my mine-bots brought back, so I decided to smelt some of it together, and lace it with some lights and circuitry.”

Pinkie looked back down at it, confusion crossing her face. “So, what DOES it do?”

I knelt back down to her level, and gazed into her eyes. “It makes a filly like you even lovelier than you already are.” I told her, putting a hand on her neck. “And it’s all yours.”

Pinkie blushed, and brought up her tail to hide her face. She giggled, and suddenly launched herself at me, throwing her arms around my neck. “Why are you such a sweet guy?!” She asked, hugging me, before pelting me with kisses all over my face. “I-never-got-such-a-pretty-gift-before!” She told me, punctuating each word with another kiss.

I couldn’t help but laugh, as I tried to meet her lips with mine. She kissed me on every inch of my face, before landing a big, sloppy, wet one right on my mouth. We both started laughing, and cuddled each other in a warm embrace. She then pulled away quickly, and looked at me with a cocked eyebrow. “This still doesn’t mean I’m ready.” She told me.

I blinked. “Now where did that come from?” I asked. “Of course I’m not just giving you gifts to get you in bed with me, if that’s what you’re insinuating.” I gave a laugh at the ridiculousness of the sentiment. “I respect your rights as a mare, Pinks. I’ll be right here, whenever you’re ready.” I assured her, stroking the side of her muzzle.

She sighed, looking upon me with thoughtful eyes. “I know. I’m just…nervous, y’know?” She began pacing, still maintaining the conversation. “I’ve had lotsa friends over the years, but never a coltfriend. I’m…I’m still having a hard time believing I’m in a meaningful relationship. I’ve been there for other girls who have had bad relationships, and I’m always there to make them smile. They feel like they’ve been treated as used goods, like their coltfriends didn’t want them for anything other than their bodies.” She frowned, taking a seat, and looking down at the ground. “Don’t get me wrong, I sympathize with them, I just…don’t wanna be like them, y’know?”

“Pinkie, come on, now.” I said, coming up to her, and hugging her around the neck. “Do I seem like the type of guy who’d do that to anyone? I love you, Pinks. And I mean it when I say that. I will always love you.”

She smiled, tilting her head into mine. “Thanks.” She turned to me, wrapping her arms up around my shoulders. “I do wanna be with you, Acey. I just…need a little more time.” She told me.

I nodded. “Take your time, I ain’t going anywhere.”
*******
A blob of lava fell down onto the Rockidile. I gave the bot a roll, and the lava slid off the heat shield of the cockpit. I had detected a large amount of precious metals that I could both sell and use in future projects a good distance away from Ponyville. The only problem was, it was in an active volcano. Forgetting the fact that the average Mine-bot can’t withstand such temperatures, only a single unit could easily mine it without causing too much unnecessary stress to the volcano to set it off. So I said what the hell, a perfect opportunity to test out the Rockidile. So far, it’s a huge success. The shields are more than capable of withstanding the temperatures at the core, and all systems seemed to be functioning. Mind you, I wasn’t stupid about this expedition. I had to maintain contact with someone on the outside. And John was the perfect candidate.

“How’re you holding up, Doc?” John asked, appearing on a monitor to my right. He and Applejack were continually monitoring my systems on their end, making sure I had functioning systems. Rarity should’ve been there, too. I idly wondered where she was.

“Oh, y’know. I’m just having a little cookout.” I joked. “All green on my end. How ‘bout you?” I asked.

“Reading green across the border.” John responded, looking at me grimly through a monitor. “You do realize, doctor, that when a normal scientist hears that there are precious metals inside a volcano, their first reaction isn’t ‘oh, hey, let’s go swimming through the magma to get it.’” He informed me.

I chuckled. “Well, it’s a good thing that I’m anything but normal, otherwise this would never work.” I let out a mad cackle, as a wave rocked the machine. “Whoa!” I said, looking to my right. “Did you see that?! Haha! That one nearly buried me!” I said excitedly.

“Hey, Doc!” Applejack cut in, looking at me disapprovingly. “Couldja take this seriously fer a sec? Ah don’t wanna explain ta Pinkie why her coltfriend is burnt an’ buried like one a’ Big Mac’s holiday dinners!”

I rolled my eyes. That statement told a story right there. “Jeez, AJ. Lighten up a little. The situation’s tense enough as it is.” The Rockidile continued swimming through the magma, erring ever closer to the deposits. “It helps a person cope to laugh in the face of danger.”

“That’s just it, Doc.” John replied. “You’re in a very dangerous situation. The second you step outside the cockpit of your machine, you’re going to be cooked from the inside out! Need I remind you that you’re mining some metals that MIGHT be useful to you in a volcano that can go off at the first sign of too much disturbance!”

“That’s what the Rockidile is made for!” I countered. “Precision mining in dangerous environments! It’s the perfect opportunity to test what could be my greatest invention! I’m not gonna get out in the middle of a looking-to-be successful test run!”

“Well how in tarnation are ya gonna mine the stuff?!” Applejack asked. “Yeh don’t have a drill or a pickaxe, ‘er anythin’ like that!”

“Get with the times, guys!” I mocked. “My Mine-bots, as well as the Rockidile here, use particle beams to move the rocks and get the minerals! Particle beams are higher precision than drills, and don’t require repairs after every use! I have more than enough fuel to keep my energy levels up! After the beams cut down the ores, the Rockidile will catch ‘em in his mouth, and store them for future deposit in the refinery! This bot was made for this kind of situation!”

John huffed, leaning back in his chair, and shaking his head. “I give up. There’s no arguing with that one.”

“Ah know.” Applejack agreed, sharing a huff of her own. “It’s like tryin’ ta tell Pinkie why she cain’t use that cannon o’ hers ta reach the moon!”

John harrumphed. “Two of a kind, they are.” He said, looking at Applejack with a smile.

Applejack looked back at John, flashing her own smile, and adjusting her Stetson. I chuckled. “Y’know, if you guys wanna get intimate, you can go ahead and shut off the monitor.” I teased with a smile. “It’s okay, I won’t judge you.”

John coughed, his cheeks reddening. Applejack tilted her hat and looked away to hide the embarrassment. “Uh…we…we aren’t…” John began.

“Look, Johnny, I don’t care if you are, I’m just messing.” I explained. “You should know by now, I tease you and Geo because I’m a pal, right?”

“Oh, yeah.” He said, taking a breath.

I shook my head, deciding to change the subject to cure the awkwardness. “Where’s Rarity? I thought she was with you guys?”

“She had to run interference.” John told me. “Pinkie was coming to the lab today, but Rarity told her you weren’t in. So she took pinkie into Ponyville. I assume they’re still hanging out.”

“That’s another reason ah don’t think much a’ you goin’ an’ doin’ all this dangerous stuff behind her back.” Applejack chastised me. “Now ah kin keep a secret so long as you don’t do her no wrong, but if Pinkie asks me where ya are, ah’m a gonna tell her the honest truth!”

I goose necked at her, and wiggled my head around. “Okay, mom!” I said with a puff, before facing forward. The monitor blinked at me, catching my attention. I grinned. “I’m at the deposits!” I exclaimed. “Disengaging safeties on the particle beam!” I began flipping switches, and tilting the joystick to get a feel for it.

John began monitoring his end. “Particle beam is online, and looking functional.” He nodded at me. “Alright, ready to fire.”

“Firing.” I replied, aiming the nose of the Rockidile at the deposits, and pulled the trigger. A beam of purple energy lanced out, and began blasting away the chunks of ore. The jaw of the Rockidile opened, and began catching the chunks. I peeked at the monitors. Everything seemed to be in order. “Looking good.” I said. “I’m already at ten percent capacity.”

“Pay close attention to your monitors, Doc.” John reminded me. “We don’t want an accident happening because we got too careless.”

“Don’t worry, I got an eye on ‘em.” I said. The mining lasted a total of twelve minutes, but it felt more like two to me. I was having the time of my life. The best thing about being a scientist is when you get to taste the fruits of your labor for yourself. And right now, it tasted like victory. Time flew by, and I was at ninety five percent capacity, when a wave of static washed through my systems. “I got static on my end.” I said, checking if everything was okay.

I saw John shake his head. “Nothing wrong, here.” He replied. “Maybe you should cut off, and head back.”

I nodded in agreement. “Yeah, let me just-“ I was interrupted by falling rocks, followed by a glow of red mist that disappeared as soon as I saw it. The rumbling shook me, and I was suddenly glad that I installed seat belts in the Sorou-mobile. I bent my head down, praying for my life, thinking ‘Aw, jeez, maybe John was right, this WAS stupid.’ when the rumbling suddenly stopped. I looked up, and saw that the cockpit was buried. Fortunately, I still had transmission with John and AJ, who were yelling out at me.

“Doc?! Ace?!”

“Doctor Sorou, y’alright?!”

I shook my head. “I’m fine, guys.” I heard their sighs of relief, as I appraised my situation. “It looks like there was some sort of cave-in.”

“Take this as a sign that you should get back to the lab. Can you move?”

“No problem.” I replied. “I’ll just mine my way out, very carefully.” I fired the particle beam, and forged a tunnel going straight up. I sighed in relief to see that was undamaged. I pressed forward to move.

And didn’t budge. “Uh oh.”

“Uh oh? Doctor, what’s wrong?”

I checked my systems, and cursed. “My legs are damaged. All of ‘em. The Rockidile ain’t going anywhere.”

Out of the frying pan...

I banged my fist on the console. “Dammit.” I sighed. “Pinkie’s gonna be pissed off at me for this.”

“She’ll only be cross if you come back, mate.” John tried to reassure me.

“Positive thoughts, John.” I told him. “I AM coming back, somehow or another, and it’s NOT gonna be in a bodybag.”

“Right, sorry.” He replied, turning his eyes to the monitors. He shook his head. “Are you sure you’re damaged? The monitors are reading that you’re fine.”

I checked my monitors, and shook my head. “My monitors are saying all my legs are damaged.”

“Well, maybe your monitors are wrong.” John suggested. “Try moving again.”

I reached for the controls, and pushed forward. I got no movement from the Rockidile. “No dice. I think your monitors are out of synch with me.” I speculated, before thinking of another explanation. “Hold on, I’m gonna try something.” I began typing at my console, reprogramming the Rockidile to ignore all input from status reports and damage control subprograms. After I was done, I tried moving again, but it didn’t work. My legs still weren’t moving. I exhaled sharply, crashing my face into my palm. “Damn.” I rolled back my modification, but saved a backup, just in case. “Looks like the Rockidile really is damaged.” I looked over at John’s screen, noticing that Applejack was gone. “Where’s AJ?” I asked.

“Ah went ta get Pinkie.” Applejack’s voice sounded, as I watched a very angry Pinkie Pie storming up to the camera. “Ah thought she’d wanna know, just in case, uh…”

“It’s alright, AJ.” I tried to tell her.

“It’s NOT alright!” Pinkie Pie yelled at me. “You went and ran into an active volcano?! What were you thinking?! Volcanoes are nature’s ‘don’t-come-here’ spots! They are anything BUT fun!”

I put my hands up defensively. “I know, but-“

“No ‘buts!’” She interrupted me. “You march your robot back here right now! We’re gonna talk!”

I shook my head. “How much did AJ tell you?” I asked.

“She told me enough!” Pinkie replied angrily. “She said you were in trouble, and told me where you went! And boy, are you in trouble!”

I sighed. “You don’t know the half of it, Pinks.”

Curiosity etched into Pinkie’s angry expression. “What do you mean?! “

“Pinks, I’m in deep.” I told her. “It’s starting to look like I might not be coming back from this fool’s errand. My bot’s legs are damaged, and I’m trapped under a cave in. This may be the last time we see each other.”

As I explained the severity of my situation to her, I saw her anger fade, and her hair deflate. Her face was suddenly one of despair. “No.” She shook her head. “No, no, no, no, no. Don’t you dare say that, Acey!” She said, trying to maintain her anger, as tears started to form in her eyes. “You always have an idea! That’s what you’re good at! You get ideas, and you make things happen!”

I shook my head. “Well, I’m open to suggestions.” I told her. I think she got the message, as the feeling of defeat finally set in for me. I didn’t have any idea of what I could do.

She shook her head, looking down in thought. “Well, you made it so that your seat can detach and take off, right?” she asked, referring to the Sorou-mobile, and its universal compatibility with my larger machines. “Why don’t you open up the cockpit, and-“

“No.” I cut her off. “I’m in the core of the volcano right now. If I open up the cockpit, I’ll be burned alive.”

She gritted her teeth, as tears began to stream from her eyes. She then looked up, as if getting an idea. “I got it!” She said. “Twilight can help! She can teleport in, and-“

“That’s a negative too, Pinks.” I said. “This cockpit is a very confined space, and Twilight’s never been here, before. What you’re talking about is the equivalent of shooting a pin into the eye of a needle at twenty paces using a bow while flying thirty feet in the air. If she’s so much as an inch off, she’ll teleport right into me, or the window, and we’d both be dead.”

Pinkie’s ears flopped back, as she sat in disbelief, out-and-out bawling, at this point. “Y-you can’t give up!” She told me, suddenly standing defiantly. “We have to try something! There gotta be a way!” She sighed, crying silently, as she looked down at her hooves. “There’s just gotta be…”

I suddenly felt like a jerk. I came off grumpy and unreasonable, and that’s not how I wanted Pinkie to remember me should the worst happen. I didn’t see any way out of this, but I had to put Pinkie in a good mood, at least. “Look, Pinks.” I began, catching her attention. “I’m getting out of this. I don’t know how, but I’ll figure out a way to come back to you. You’re the main reason I’m happy with my life, okay? Do you think I’m gonna just give up, when I have something so wonderful, energetic, and loveable to live for? No.” I kissed my hand, and put it up to cover part of the camera. She smiled through her tears, and put her hoof up to the screen. “I’m coming back, Pinks. I promise.” She nodded. “I need to discuss some ideas with John. If there’s a way out, I’m gonna need all the help I can get to find it.”

She was smiling at me solemnly, and she bowed her head. “You’d better keep your promises. I’m not losing anyone else.” She told me, before letting John have the chair.

*******

“Ace, don’t talk like this is the end of the world.” John told me.

“I’m not. I’m just giving you the facts.” I replied.

“Well, every time I pitch an idea, you use the facts to shoot it down.” He gave a chuckle. “It’s annoying as all hell.”

“The truth hurts sometimes. But stay in good humor. If nothing else, it helps me think.” I told him, watching the screen. “How’s Pinks doing?” I asked.

John looked away from the screen, and shook his head. “She’s with Applejack right now. AJ’s trying to keep her calm. Rarity went to go get Twilight, see if she could help.” I nodded, as John sat back in his chair. “Doc, don’t you have a plan B? You always have a plan B.”

“You WERE my plan B.” I informed him. “You were supposed to be my second set of eyes to make sure nothing happened that I didn’t notice. A fat load of good that did, huh?” I heard Twilight’s voice joining the other ponies in the background. I had to guess they were discussing possibilities on getting me out alive.

John shrugged. He then looked around the lab, and then looked back at me. “I got something. Do you have any bots capable of repairing your…Rockidile’s legs?”

I shrugged. “The Mine-bots are programmed to have some basic repair and maintenance skills, but I don’t know the extent of the damage. I might need to rework the legs entirely. I might need a garage just to get moving again.”

John put a palm to his face. “There you go; talking like it’s the end of the world, again.”

“I’m just saying that the mine-bots would need time to repair the Rockidile. In this temperature, my average bot would barely have an hour-“ I sat up, as a thought occurred to me. Oh, this was brilliant! “John, you’re a GENIUS!” I shouted, startling him, and catching the attention of everyone else in the lab.

“What? What did I say?” He said, looking confused.

“I don’t need to repair the Rockidile! I just need to get it to a location where I can repair it without being crispified!” I said.

“An’ how is he gonna do that, now?” Applejack asked. “His robot’s legs are busted up.”

“Ah but there’s more than one way to travel.” I said confidently. “I need Slender-Bot. Oh, Slendy! Papa needs you!” I saw Slender-Bot appear on the screen. “Now Slendy, listen carefully. The Rockidile is immobilized in a high temperature area. I’m currently piloting the Rockidile. I need you to take four mine-bots, and teleport to my location. After you do, you’ll have about…” I quickly did the math. “…forty eight minutes before you lose functionality. In that amount of time, I need you to unearth the Rockidile, and open up the power core. Then, hook yourself up to the core, and draw power from the Rockidile in order to teleport yourself, the four mine-bots, and the Rockidile with me inside back to the grounds outside my lab. Understand so far?” Slendy stuck a hand out, and gave me a thumbs up. “Good. Now, I’m gonna turn my radio transceiver into a locator beacon. This means I’m gonna lose contact with everyone. After you detect the beacon, your mission is a go. Oh, and you might wanna take off your suit, Slendy. It’s hot outside, and your suit’s liable to burn.”

“Doc, is that gonna work?” John asked. “Teleporting something that large seems like a tall order.”

“I have to agree.” Twilight said. “Something twice as big as a house takes a lot of power to teleport. More than I have, at any rate.”

“That‘s why Slendy’s gonna hook up to the Rockidile’s power core.” I explained, as I began working on the transceiver. “The power output of the Rockidile should be more than enough to charge Slendy for a massive teleport.”

“I can’t begin to count the ways this could go wrong.” John threw his hands up exasperatedly. “Have you ever hooked up an American device to an English power source? Your bot could be overloaded, You could have some sort of power failure due to incompatibility, you could-“

“Now who’s talking like it’s the end of the world?” I shot at him. “Like it or not, it’s my only chance. And trust me. It’s gonna work.”

John shook his head. “I don’t mean to doubt you, Doc, but there’s no way you can be sure.”

“’Course I can.” I said. “Know why? Because I said it will.” And with that, the transmission cut feed, as I finished reprogramming the transceiver. Now, all I had to do was wait.

*******

The lab was tense. It had been almost forty minutes since the transmission cut feed, and everyone was starting to get worried. Pinkie was in the corner, sighing, as Rarity and Fluttershy were trying to comfort her. Twilight was with Geo and Spike, composing a report for the Princess to tell her what was going on. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were discussing their options with John.

“He shouldn’t have gone.” Pinkie said. “He knew volcanoes aren’t any fun. He could be hurt, or…”

Rarity offered a hoof. “Now, now, dear.” She said. “That’s nonsense. I’m sure Dr. Sorou felt he had a good reason for going into the awful place, but I am certain that he’s fine. He’ll be along shortly, safe and sound in your hooves. Just wait, you’ll see.” Though she said this, even Rarity was beginning to have her doubts. It was drawing close to the forty eight minute mark that Ace had set. If he didn’t appear soon, then he wouldn’t appear at all. This thought plagued everyone’s minds.

Pinkie shook her head. “He…he was the first one I had ever loved.” She said. “I don’t want to lose him.”

“Twilight knows how you feel, Pinkie.” Fluttershy offered. “But she never gave up when Geo was shot. Why, as soon as she found out that he was alive, she did everything she could think of to make sure she was there for him when he came back. She never lost hope that he would return, and he came back. And if Geo can beat all odds, and return to Twilight, then maybe Dr. Sorou can beat all odds, and come back to yo-“ As if on cue, there was a heavy thud from outside, which shook the earth. Everyone looked up in surprise. For a second, everyone looked at each other. Then, the group rushed outside.

There, next to the lab, where there wasn’t before, was the Rockidile, with Slender and the four Mine-bots standing on top of it. Every single bot looked charred, and parts of each of them looked melted. The cockpit of the Rockidile slowly opened up, and out launched the Sorou-mobile, with Ace still sitting in the chair. He was alive, alert, and inspecting the Rockidile. Pinkie’s hair suddenly exploded back into its original state, as the Sorou-mobile came in for a landing. She ran up, and Ace stepped out of his machine. She leaped up into his arms, and they embraced, as Pinkie let out tears of joy for seeing Ace safe. “You can yell at me all you want now, Pinks.” He said.

“I never wanted to yell at you.” Pinkie replied. “I just wanted you to promise me you’d never do something like that again.”

Ace leaned back, took two fingers, and made all the motions of a Pinkie Promise. They smiled, and shared a passionate kiss.

Jackass

(A/N: This next chapter is written entirely from the third person. Reason being? I find it easier to write from third person. That said, the rest of this story, and all future stories shall now be written from third person. Hope you enjoy.)

Ace stalked through the shadows of Ponyville, snickering to himself. He was burned out on repairing the bots that delivered him from the volcano, and a fresh set of eyes was needed if he was gonna fix the Rockidile. He needed some kind of distraction, and his borderline insane intellect came up with the perfect plan. He had forsaken the lab coat that ponies had come to always recognize him with, and his goggles were now pulled down over his eyes. A grin stretched his cheeks, as he went through Ponyville with a guitar case, searching for a victim. He finally found one, lazily sleeping on a cloud floating low to the ground. Wordlessly, he opened the guitar case, took out the object inside, and hid it behind his back. “I’m Dr. Ace Sorou, and this is Jackass.” He muttered to himself.

Rainbow Dash was relaxing in the sun, wondering what she should do with her day. The weather ponies didn’t have anything scheduled, and she had got all her daily tasks done early, for once. That left a whole day for her to do anything she wanted.

And she was disappointed to find herself chillaxing on a cloud. Such wasted potential.

“Hey, RD!” A voice suddenly called, snapping Rainbow out of her thoughts. She looked down, and saw Dr. Sorou, waving up at her. She was surprised to see him out of the lab, especially after what happened the other day with his machine, but she was even more surprised to see him without his lab coat. She waved a hoof down at him.

“Hey, Doc! What’s up?” She called.

“C’mere!” He shouted, beckoning her down with a wave. “I need to ask you something!”

Bells went off in Rainbow’s head, but she didn’t see any harm in coming down off the cloud. Warily, she glided down in front of Ace. As she drew closer, she noticed that he was wearing a shirt she never saw him with. It had the image of a human skull with crossed crutches on it. Something as grotesque as the bones of a living creature should normally disgust many ponies, but she believed the shirt was so cartoony and outrageous, no one would bother complaining. In fact, she found the shirt kind of cool. “Liking the new shirt, Doc.”

Ace stifled a giggle, as he tried to keep his composure. Oh, if Rainbow Dash only knew what the symbol stood for. “Thanks.” He said. “I save it for special occasions.”

Rainbow Dash’s curiosity was now thoroughly piqued. “Special occasions?” She asked, forgetting her earlier warnings that something was up. “What kind of occasions?”

“Well…” Ace put a hand over his mouth, which was stretched out into a smile. “Have you ever thought of dying your coat a new color?” He asked, looking up at Rainbow.

Rainbow was taken aback by the question. She raised her front hoof, and suddenly stood at an angle, ready to bolt. “No, I’ve never considered it. Why?” She asked, skeptically.

Ace shrugged. “Oh, no reason. I just have a selection of colors that I think would look good on you. Here, let me give you a sample.” As soon as he said this, he whipped out a paintball gun from behind his back, and let off a rapid burst of automatic fire aimed right at Rainbow Dash.

“Aaah! What the-?! Hey!” Rainbow Dash yelped as she was peppered by Ace’s fire. It was over as soon as she started flying, and she heard Ace cackling loudly. She looked back to see him running away.

“Don’t worry!” He called to her, running as fast as his legs would carry him. “It’s water soluble! It’ll wash out!”

“Huh?” She looked back at her stinging body, and gasped in outrage. Her awesome, bright blue coat had been peppered with paint, making her stomach, back, and parts of her flank just as rainbow colored as her hair. She turned back to his direction, and glared. “Oh, you are so dead!” She exclaimed, as she reared up, and flew after him.

Rainbow was fast, but Ace was clever. As soon as he thought she was gonna catch up to him, he suddenly veered down an alleyway, or jumped over a fence. He used obstacles to put some distance between him and Rainbow. But that only worked well for so long. As soon as she caught on to his pattern, she was able to anticipate his jumps and what obstacles he was going to try and use to his advantage. At one point, Ace glanced back at his pursuer, and saw that she was catching up. But he planned for this, and kept Rainbow at bay long enough to reach Sugarcube corner.

Pinkie Pie was helping the Cakes fill an order today, and as much as she wanted to go play with friends, she had responsibilities to attend to. After all, the Cakes needed help, and she was the only good baker available to help them out. Suddenly, her Pinkie sense began acting up. It was a combo. Shaky knees, thirsty mouth, thumpy heart…

“Acey’s coming!” She exclaimed, grinning.

The Cakes looked up, just in time to see Ace fall directly in front of Pinkie, having jumped into the kitchen window. He picked himself up, and dusted himself off. “Hey, Pinks.” He said, giving a quick smooch on the snout, before running off, quickly saying, “Sorry, can’t talk now. Busy pranking.” He quickly exited to the busy front of Sugarcube corner, where several patrons were trying to enjoy a meal. Several adlibs of confusion sounded, as Ace moved through the crowd, saying things like “’Scuse me,” “Pardon me,” “Look out,” and “Coming through.” Just then, Rainbow shot through the kitchen from the window, into the storefront of Sugarcube corner. Pinkie managed to catch a glimpse of the paint stains all over Rainbow, to which she snickered.

“WHERE IS HE?” Rainbow Dash shouted, much to the surprise of the ponies at Sugarcube corner. Everypony pointed towards the main entrance, which was still wagging back and forth from Ace’s exit. Rainbow Dash got into gear, and headed for the door. She looked over just in time to see Ace headed for the park. She was about to chase after him, but stopped to think. If she did, he’d end up throwing obstacles in her path, just like he did earlier. But if she flew directly to the park, she could cut him off, and catch up to him. Grinning deviously, Rainbow shot up into the air, and went directly to the park.

She landed in a clearing facing the treeline that functioned as the edge of the park. Ace had to come through those trees. They were the only thing between the park and the path to Sugarcube Corner. Rainbow licked her lips, flying in place, as she prepared to…

Wait…

What WAS she gonna do? Ace was just pranking her, not doing anything mean. Sure, the paintballs hurt, but they just stung a little. And to be honest, it WAS a pretty funny prank. He’s just playing around. But then, the paintball DID hurt, and if Ace wants to play rough, she could play rough! Rainbow got ready to Dash at Ace, and tackle him! Yeah! Tackling him to the ground would hurt too, but she would be playing back! So she waited for him!

And waited!

And waited…

But Ace never came. Rainbow increasingly became agitated, until she groaned in frustration, throwing her hooves up in the air. ‘Aw, man!’ she thought, bringing her hooves to her face. ‘Did he double back, or something?!’ She crossed her arms, her mood spoiled. ‘He could’ve gone anywhere! Ugh, now I’m gonna have to go find him.’ This thought in mind, she grumpily made her way to the treeline.

“Splash!” As soon as she passed the first tree, she was hit by a wave of water from the side. Surprised, Rainbow fell to the ground with a yelp. She wagged her head, and looked at her aggressor. Ace was tossing a water balloon in his hand, grinning idly. There was a bucket behind him, filled to the brim with more water balloons. “Gotcha, didn’t I?” He asked, nodding for Rainbow Dash to look behind her.

Rainbow looked, and saw a second bucket of water balloons, ready and primed for use. “Splash!” Another water balloon hit Rainbow from behind, as she was inspecting the second bucket. She quickly ducked behind the second bucket, and smirked confidently. “That does it!” She declared. “It. Is. ON!”

The treeline quickly became murky, as water balloons sailed through the air, exploding against trees, buckets, and the ones tossing them. At one point, Ace slipped, and fell into a mud puddle, causing Rainbow to burst out in laughter. “Watch that first step, Doc!” She said. “It’s a doozy!”

Ace harrumphed jovially. “Yeah, yeah, yuck it up.” He told her, picking himself up. “I’m just gonna need to clean up, a little.”

“I can help ya there.” She said, smiling menacingly at Ace. Before Ace could respond, a water balloon collided with his face, causing him to fall back in surprise. And just like that, the battle resumed.

Eventually, both combatants exited the treeline, dripping wet, bits of broken and busted balloon on both of them. They both were sharing a laugh between them, leaving behind a small mess of murky mud amongst the mass of trees.

“That was the most fun I’ve had all week!” Rainbow shouted, flying up, and tapping her hoof with Ace’s fist. “I had a blast!”

Ace nodded, smiling at her. “I’m glad ya did!” He replied. “Does that mean you might wanna do it again, sometime?”

“Of course!” Rainbow affirmed, before looking over at him. “Are you leaving already?” She asked.

“That was the plan.” Ace told her. “I have some work to do. If I don’t get this bot finished, I may never get any more high value ores.”

“High value ores?” Rainbow asked, her curiosity piqued. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“High value ores are mineral deposits that have never been mined, and form quicker.” Ace explained. “They mostly appear in dangerous places, such as volcanoes.”

That last sentence caught Rainbow. “Hold on a second!” She said, dashing in front of Ace. “You promised Pinkie you’d never put yourself in another super-dangerous situation again!”

“And I fully intend to keep that promise, Rainbow.” Ace reasoned. “Which is why I’m crafting the Pyro-bot. He’s a fully automated powerhouse equipped with both a Particle Beam and an experimental Heat Ray, for melting metals. Once he’s completed, he’ll be going after all the dangerous ores that I would have used the Rockidile to go after myself.” He indicated the direction to his lab, which was just over the horizon. “You can see for yourself, if you want.”

Rainbow was skeptical. Not because she didn’t believe Ace, but because she wanted to protect Pinkie’s feelings. She shrugged in agreement. “I got nothing else to do, today.” With Ace leading the way, the two headed over to Ace’s lab.
*******
“Whoa.” Rainbow said, staring up at the machine. It was a ten foot tall humanoid robot with two cannons mounted to its shoulders, the left one purple, and the right one red. “It looks kinda like a minotaur!” Rainbow said, referring to its body structure.

“I wanted Pyro-bot to be as strong as he looked.” Ace informed Rainbow. “So I designed him to look like a minotaur I found on a brochure.” Ace took the brochure out from his desk, and put it down in front of Rainbow. “Obviously, black is a more suitable color for Pyro-bot than blue, but I’m gonna add in some red details on the final paintjob. The body structure works out perfectly, because it’s easier to fit the gravity generator inside.” Ace went back to work on the robot.

“You designed him to look like Iron Will?” Rainbow snickered. “What’ are you a fan of his, or something?”

Ace shook his head, continuing to work on his robot. “Nope. I just think he’s a good base for my stronger bots.” He said, as Dash looked around the lab. She had noticed something tucked away in another room. A glint of shiny blue metal caught her eye. She peered into the room, and saw something vaguely pony-shaped. In this light, all that could be seen was a metallic hind leg, and a group of seven large, rainbow colored cables. The leg was the same shade of blue as Rainbow’s coat, and engraved near the ‘flank’ of this metal pony was-

The metal door slid shut before Rainbow could examine it further. “Hey, Rainbow!” Ace said, not in any threatening manner. “Sorry, but that room’s off-limits.” He told her.

Suspicion took to the forefront of Rainbow Dash’s mind. “ Why?” She asked, accusingly, as her wings began to carry her to eye level with Ace. “What’s in there?” She demanded, glaring at him.

“Just a project I’m working on.” Ace replied coolly, as his forehead became moist with sweat.

Rainbow’s eyes narrowed. “What kind of project?” She said, bumping her snout into his nose. Ace, to his credit, stood his ground.

“Possibly my greatest work.” He told her. “You’ll find out what it is soon enough, but I’m missing a lot of materials to complete it.”

There was a pregnant silence between the two of them. Rainbow was wondering why Ace couldn’t tell her what it was, and assumed the worst. Ace was wondering if he would get his personal space back. Pinkie was wondering why Rainbow and Ace were touching noses.

Wait, Pinkie?!

“Rainbow?” Pinkie asked innocently, a blank look on her face. Both Rainbow and Ace looked over at Pinkie, surprised to see her in the lab.

“Pinkie?” Rainbow asked. “What are you doing here?”

“The cakes and I finished baking the food for the order, so I came over to visit with Acey.” Pinkie’s eyes narrowed. “What are YOU doing here? And why was your snout getting all comfy with my coltfriend’s face?”

“Oh, uh…” Rainbow began, putting a hoof behind her head, as she tried to put the words together. But Pinkie didn’t skip a beat.

“Well, it looked like you were trying to give my Acey a little sugar!” She accused, walking forward. “You want a human to share your sugar with?! Get your own!” She shouted angrily, waving her hooves up in outrage

“Whoa, wait a second!” Rainbow said, shooting her hooves out defensively. “I-it’s not what you think!”

Ace saw an opportunity. Rainbow was getting inquisitive, and Ace didn’t want to be found out. He chose now to act. “It’s okay, Pinks.” Ace intervened, wrapping his arms around Pinkie. “Rainbow was just a little confused about something.” He told her, looking over to Rainbow with a smirk on his face. “And she was just leaving, right?”

Rainbow was speechless. A rush of confusion and fear ran through her, as tears began to well up in her eyes. She huffed, glaring at Ace. “Yeah, I was.” She said, flying out the door.

Ace and Pinkie watched as Dash left, Pinkie still angry, and Ace adopting a look of disappointment. As soon as she left, Ace turned back to Pinkie. “Pinks, nothing happened.” He told her quickly, catching Pinkie’s attention. “I just have a surprise that I didn’t want her to find, and she got a bit too close to discovering it.”

“A surprise?” Pinkie asked, her anger melting. “Is it a good kinda surprise?” She wondered.

“Yes, I assure you, it is.” Ace said. “But nopony can know about it. Not until it’s complete. I didn’t want her to get too much info on it, so I trust you with the information.”

“But…” Pinkie looked up at the door, confused. “I thought she was kissing you, and you weren’t enjoying it.” She told him. “If nothing happened, then why did you-“

“Because I didn’t want to be put into a corner, and have to reveal it before it was completed. I’m sorry I implied the situation you described, and I want to apologize to Rainbow. But I need to move the surprise to a new location. So, can you apologize to Rainbow for me?”

Pinkie looked down, thinking. “Well, if you’re telling the truth, then I need to apologize to her, too.” She looked up, and kissed Ace. “I’ll tell her, for both of us.” She said. “Go ahead and move your surprise.” With that, she trotted off, out the door.

Ace watched her leave, and sighed. “That was close.” He said, before entering the room. His thoughts drifted to nightmare night. It was tomorrow. That meant there was one more month before Geo’s trial. As Ace began picking up his ‘surprise,’ he silently hoped Geo won.

Nightmare Night

Nightmare Night was upon the town, and everypony was celebrating. The foals were all getting their candy going door-to-door, and most of the older ponies were gathered in town square. A big Nightmare Night celebration was going on. Rarity was stuck in her shop, still trying to get her costume just perfect (as usual, according to her friends) and Fluttershy was nowhere to be found. She didn’t much like Nightmare Night, and because of that, she locked herself up in her cottage. Still, the rest of Ponyville was busy celebrating the Lunar holiday. Almost everyone was out in costume, including Geo, Twilight, and Spike, dressed as characters from a series of books that Twilight enjoyed. Rainbow Dash had on a Daring Do outfit, and was strolling through the crowds as if she owned the whole neighborhood. The Apples and John had on outfits with a ‘Barnyard creeper’ theme, and were helping to manage the attractions. Ace and Pinkie made their way up to the party themselves. And as they made their way to join the crowd, Ace thought about the conversation he had with Pinkie last week.
*****
“Dr. Robo-wha?” Pinkie asked, confused at the word.

“I’m going as Dr. R-r-r-r-r-robotnik!” Ace said, in a voice sounding like the subject. “Dr. Ivo ‘Eggman’ Robotnik is a robotics scientist that goes up against a speedy blue hedgehog named Sonic. Sonic always gets in the way of Robotnik conquering the world.”

“So he’s kinda like you, except you don’t have the whole ‘I wanna conquer the world’ thing going.” Pinkie reasoned. Ace didn’t say anything, merely nodded with a smile, and continued working on the costume. “Well, does Dr. Robotnik have any fillyfriends?”

Dr. Sorou looked up, cocking an eyebrow. “Say again?” He asked, in a serious tone. “He does, as a matter of fact, but what makes you ask?”

“Well, I just had this great idea for Nightmare Night!” Pinkie bounced. “Y’see, Twilight and Geo are both going as characters from one of Twilight’s favorite stories, and Twilight said she ships the characters, whatever that means, so she and Geo are gonna do lots and lots of kissing! So I figured we could do something similar! But I didn’t have a series or fandom that I really liked, so I was hoping you did! And I wanted to go as the fillyfriend of whatever character you’re dressing up as, so we can be shipped, just like Twilight and Geo!”

As Pinkie explained her idea to Ace, he smiled. Her idea sounded fun to him, but he wondered if she could really get the costume together in time. “And how are you gonna get the costume?” He decided to ask. “After all, my fandom isn’t from your universe.”

“Easy, Peasy!” Pinkie said. “Rarity offered to make me a costume today, and I told her to wait a second, so I can get an idea of what to wear! Then, I rushed over here as quick as I could, so I can ask you who I should dress up as!”

Ace shrugged, and nodded. He went over to a computer, and began typing at it. Soon enough, a printout came, with a picture of a woman in a yellow dress and blue tights.

“If you’re sure you wanna do this…” Ace showed her the picture. “Her name is Katella, and she’s absolutely crazy about Dr. Robotnik.”

Pinkie’s smile suddenly grew wider. She hopped up into Ace’s arms, and gave him a deep kiss. “Thank you, thank you, Acey!” She said. “Rainbow Dash said you’d never do it!”

“Uh, you’re welcome?” Ace asked, confused by the change in behavior. “What did I do?”

“Well, Dashie said that you wouldn’t do it, and she even made a bet with me! ‘He’s smart, but he’s not eggheaded enough to do something like that.’ She told me! ‘I bet he’s not even celebrating Nightmare Night! He’s always busy building robots!’ And I’m like, ‘Oh, yeah?! Well, if he does do it, you have to eat one of my ‘special’ cupcakes on Nightmare Night!’ And she looked at me, and said, ‘And when I win, you have to dress up as a donkey, and yell ‘I’m a total ass!’ in town square on Nightmare Night!’ But I’m so glad you agreed! Now I KNOW I didn’t bake that special cupcake for nothing! I mean-“ Ace cut her off with a kiss.

“That’s all well and good, Pinks.” He said. “But you’d better get that picture over to Rarity. She’s gonna wanna know what your costume looks like.”

“Oh! Right!” Pinkie took the picture, and made her way to the door, risking only a single glance back. “Love ya, Acey!”

“Love ya too, Pinks.” Ace replied, watching her leave for Rarity’s.
*****
Ace admired Pinkie’s costume. Rarity did a fine job in making it. The blue tights and yellow skirt matched Katella’s style to a tee. Rarity even went out of her way to make the bracelet, armband, and tiara for Pinkie. Not one to leave a debt unpaid, Ace made a mental note to do something special for Rarity as soon as he got the chance.

Rainbow’s face when she looked over at the couple went from adoring the admiration, to shock, to disappointing defeat. She stayed right where she was, as Pinkie made her way over to Rainbow. “So just who are you guys supposed to be?”

Pinkie looked over to me for an explanation. Ace smiled, as the perfect song came to mind. In his best Eggman voice, he laughed. “Well, I’m glad you asked, Miss Dash! Allow me to tell you!” No sooner than he said this, that there was suddenly music in the air, to the tune Ace was thinking of, no less! Pinkie began bouncing excitedly at the prospect of her coltfried singing, and several ponies looked over. Not wanting to dash any hopes, Ace just went with it.

“The story begins, with whose gonna win
Knowing the danger that lies within
Aboard the ark, a genius at heart
Always perfecting my timeless art

I am the Eggman, that's what I am
I am the Eggman, I’ll put you in a jam
I am the Eggman, You’ll do all that you can
But I'm the Eggman, I got the master plan

I'm plotting my schemes wherever I go
They're perfect in every way
I'd love to destroy the blue one you know
The time will come when I seize the day

I will play this game by my rules
I will conquer the world with my tools
All my machines are made for destruction
I will build my empire
I will succeed and you will see
With my machines there is no retreat

I am the Eggman, that's what I am
I am the Eggman, I’ll put you in a jam
I am the Eggman, You’ll do all that you can
But I'm the Eggman, I got the master plan

I'm the enemy, I will succeed
My mission, Yeah! I must complete
My name is Eggman, don't forget my name
If you ask me again I will tell you the same

I am the Eggman, that's what I am
I am the Eggman, I’ll put you in a jam
I am the Eggman, You’ll do all that you can
But I'm the Eggman, I got the master, master plan
I am the Eggman!”

As the music came to a close, Ace wondered how he was able to come up with a dance to go along with this musical number. He also wondered how he was able to create some of his own lyrics to the song. On top of this, he found it crazy that the instrumental backup came out of nowhere. But looking around he found the only ones confused by this development were himself, Geo, and John. Everyone else just behaved as if a musical number like that was a daily occurrence. He put his hand behind his head. “Uhh, so THAT just happened…” He stated in his normal voice, causing Rainbow to arch an eyebrow.

“You mean that’s the first time you ever sang?” Rainbow asked.

Ace shook his head. “No, I mean, I had some music lessons when I was young, but I never spontaneously broke out into a musical number, complete with instrumental backup.” He looked up. “What just happened?”

“Oh, that kinda stuff happens all the time.” Pinkie explained. “Whenever there’s a context sensitive song someone wants to sing, music just comes out of nowhere to accompany the singing. It happened when Rainbow Dash was looking for a pet, and when we first found out Twilight had a brother, as well as a few other times. Everypony in Equestria’s just come to…live with it.”

“And the dancing?” Ace asked.

Rainbow answered this one. “Whenever the music kicks on, we just kinda go with the flow. If there happens to be dancing in the number, we dance. We don’t know what we’re doing, half the time.”

“Huh.” Ace shrugged. “I’m gonna have to study this phenomenon later. It actually sounds kinda scary.”

Rainbow quickly got the subject back on track. “So you’re the Eggman, huh?” She asked.

Ace nodded. “I may be thinner, and…” Ace removed the ‘bald’ wig that he had over his hair, and displayed his head. “I’m not actually bald, but yeah, I’m supposed to be Dr. Ivo ‘Eggman’ Robotnik.” Ace replaced the bald wig, and added. “I’m also about half the age of the REAL Eggman. Actually, I’m not even half his age. He’s about, fifty seven? That means I’m half of fifty seven minus five point five in age.”

“And I assume you chose Pinkie Pie’s outfit, too?” Rainbow asked, gulping.

Ace nodded. “Yes. She’s dressed as Katella, an interstellar huntress obsessed with Eggman.” He explained.

Rainbow sighed, then turned to Pinkie. “Alright, Pinkie. You win.” She admitted, watching as Pinkie started bouncing with joy. “Just let me talk to the doc a second, alright?” Pinkie looked at Rainbow skeptically for a few seconds. “Okey-dokey-lokey!” She said, trotting off to hang with Applejack, and bob for apples.

Ace stroked his bushy fake mustache, and looked at Rainbow. “What’s up?” He asked.

“I wanted to tell you before I go nuts from Pinkie’s cupcake, what you pulled yesterday was NOT cool.”

Ace sighed, slumping his shoulders. “I know.” He replied. “And I’m sorry. But this is a big surprise I’m working on. I didn’t want you or anypony else knowing about it before it was finished.”

“Well it looked awfully suspicious.” Rainbow said accusingly. “It almost looked like a pony.”

Ace put his hands up defensively. “I swear, on my mother’s grave, I don’t have anything nefarious planned for my surprise, Rainbow.”

Rainbow cocked her head? “Neffy-what?” She asked.

Ace shook his head. “I mean I don’t intend to use my surprise for a bad purpose.”

Rainbow looked over Ace’s face, before nodding. “In that case, I’m sorry I put you on the spot.” She said.

“That still doesn’t excuse what I did.” Ace said, taking a knee, and putting a hand on her back. “But please, understand that I will do anything to see my plans succeed.”

“Alright, I forgive you.” She said, starting to smile again.

“So…friends?” Ace asked, holding his arms out for a hug.

Hesitantly, Rainbow moved in, and hugged Ace in a way that said I’m-still-cool. “Yeah. Friends.” The hug was brief, and Rainbow quickly moved away, to make sure nopony saw her being all mushy. When she was satisfied, she looked back at Ace. “Hey, we should all hang out sometime.” She suggested. “You, me, AND Pinkie. You seem like a pretty cool prankster. You can join the club!”

Ace nodded. “I’d like that. But for now, as I understand, you have a drugged cupcake to eat?” He replied inquisitively, hoping Rainbow would tell him more about it.

Rainbow laughed, and shook her head. “She told you about the bet, huh? It’s not drugged.” She insisted. “The cupcake’s made with ‘prank flour.’ It’s a non-addictive substance that can be used for baking. You can buy it at any joke shop. It causes you to lose your sense of balance and say things impulsively, but other than that, there’s nothing that really makes it a drug.”

“So you’re just gonna be an impulsive klutz for the rest of the night?” Ace asked, snickering.

Rainbow sighed. “Yeah.” She looked over at Pinkie. “Well, let’s get this over with.” She said, as Ace followed her over to where Pinkie was.
*****
“No, no, see…” Ace hiccupped. “The, the, the theory of relativity…states that lightspeed is the speed limit of the universe.” He waved a hand out violently. “But that’s a load of bullcrap!” He took another mug of fermented cider, and looked drunkenly over to his drinking partner. “Got’cher mug?” He asked.

In the short time after Rainbow ate the cupcake, she managed to craft a crude dragon out of clouds, wreck two attractions at the Nightmare Night festival, insult Princess Luna (who had come to Ponyville to pose as Nightmare Moon, and host a contest for the foals) and challenge Ace to a drinking contest. He had told her that his dad was able to down an entire mug of alcohol in one gulp, and Ace wanted to try to replicate that. After that, it’s fairly straightforward what happened.

“Y-You ready to lose, is th’ better question.” Rainbow replied, looking Ace cockeyed, but confidently. Ace chuckled, moving aside his fake mustache and his bald wig. They both toasted their mugs, and began to down their drinks. And sure enough, Ace was able to down his a bit quicker than Rainbow. He let out a belch, as she finished her drink. They looked at each other, slamming their mugs on the table.

“Seven!”
“Seven!”

They said in unison. Their heads waved around, threatening to collapse both of them, but neither of them backed down. “I can go for another round, how ‘bout you?” Rainbow challenged.

“I’m game if you are!” Ace came back, rather loudly. “I’m the son of a paratrooper and-and a sailor.” He informed. “On-on top o’ that, I proudly claim Irish AND Scottish heritage. AND I’m a blood descendant of the Hatfields!” Ace hiccupped. “There ain’t no way I’m losing a drinking contest.”

“Well, SOMEpony’s got a-“ Rainbow stifled a burp. “H-high opinion of himself, huh?” Rainbow said, waving her hoof over to Big Mac to bring them another round.

Ace laughed. “Talk about the pot calling the kettle black.” He said, laughing his head down onto the table.

“Ace, you can’t last another round.” Rainbow put forth. “Y-you’re drunk.”

“Screw you, you’re drunk!” Ace retorted.

“No, you!” Rainbow exclaimed.

“No, you!” Ace shot back.

“Both o’ ya’ll are drunk!” Ace and Rainbow turned their heads to see Big Mac looking at them sternly. “Ah’m cuttin’ you off! No more for either of ya tonight!”

“Aw, come on, Big Mac!” Rainbow pleaded. “We got a contest! And it won’t end ‘til one of us hits the floor!”

“Well, ah’m endin’ it now!” Big Mac claimed.

“Boo!” Both Rainbow and Ace said, as Ace started singing in a horribly off key voice. “Every party needs a pooper, that’s why they invited you!” Rainbow laughed, and joined Ace in pointing at Big Mac.

“Party pooper!”
“Party pooper!”

Big Mac merely rolled his eyes and walked away, causing Ace and Rainbow to yuck it up. After the laughter died down, Ace sighed. “I guess the contest is over, huh, Rainbow?” He asked.

Dash shook her head. “Buck no!” She leaned over, putting her arm around Ace. “Listen here, you! Y-you’re not getting out of this that easy!” She told him, poking him in the chest with her hoof. “We-we pick this up tomorrow! Y-you an’ me! Tomorrow, we drink ‘til we drop!”

Ace put his hands up defensively. “Alright, fine.” He stood up, and yawned. “I-I guess I should get.” He said. “I’m tired as heck.” He turned to leave, grabbing his stuff, and didn’t get five steps before passing out.

Rainbow gasped, and shot out of her seat. “Woohoo! I won!” She said, before darkness took her, and she crashed to the ground.

Dating and caring.

It was a couple months after Nightmare Night. Geo's trial came, and a guilty verdict was rendered. Twilight gave birth to a pair of new Unicorn foals, and everyone was trying to help her out with them. Dr. Sorou even offered to rent out both of his Nurse-bots to her, since they helped him out so much with the Cutie Mark Crusaders whenever they were over. Twilight and Ace discussed the details in private, and ultimately, Twilight accepted, especially after Ace Generously lowered his standard rental fees.

Spike had been helping out as well, taking care of the foals with the instruction from Twilight. But the more he spent time with Twilight, Applejack, And Pinkie, the more he yearned to have a marefriend of his own. And there was obviously one mare that he'd like to date, but he wanted some advice about how to get her to notice him. He scratched his arm, shedding his old scales. This was an annual event with him, shedding his scales and letting new ones grow in. It was like that with most reptiles, as Twilight told him, so it's to be expected. But as one scale fell off, he remembered something. Taking the scale, Spike went off, in search of a human.

Spike walked toward Sugarcube corner, looking around as if trying to find someone. Sugarcube corner was cloed for today, but the Cakes kept the doors open for friends who wanted to visit. He expected to see one of the Cakes, but when he opened the door, he found a familiar blue pegasus waiting. "Hey, Dash!"

"Hey, Spike!" Rainbow Dash said, waving a hoof at him.

"What are you doing, here?" Spike asked, entering.

"I had to bring something over to Pinkie, and I decided to stick arouned for a bit to keep an eye on the place while the Cakes were out." She explained. "What about you? What brings ya here?"

Spike glanced down at the scale in his claw, then looked back up to Rainbow. "I'm looking for Dr. Sorou."

"Ace?" Rainbow questioned. "He and Pinkie just left."

Spike huffed in exhasperation. "Aw, man! Really?"

Rainbow nodded. "Yeah. I saw 'em come out of the basement."

"Where that creepy movie set is?" Spike asked, cocking a brow. "The one where you shot that amateur movie with Pinkie a couple years ago? What were they doing down there?"

Rainbow rubbed a hoof behind her head. "Eh...I dunno. I think Ace is writing a book on Pinkie's Party Cannon."

Now Spike was confused. "What makes you say that?"

Rainbow shrugged. "Well, I asked Pinkie what she was doing down there with Ace, and she giggled, and told me they were 'making something cannon.' Then Ace just started spewing all this egghead stuff involved in a book he's writing, and to be honest, all of it pretty much flew over my head."

Spike blinked. "That must've been confusing."

"Yeah, I checked down there a little later, and all I found was a bunch of confetti on and around the table." Rainbow cocked her head. "I couldn't find any kind of cannon, anyplace."

"Huh." Spike mused, before dropping the subject. "Well, I gotta go find the doctor. I need to ask him something."

Rainbow looked up, as if remembering something. "I think Pinkie said they were gonna go back to his lab."

"Really?!" Spike huffed in frustration. "Aww, I was just there! Well thanks, Dash!" He said, going for the door.

"No problem, Spike!" Rainbow said, waving goodbye.

*****
Spike approached Ace's lab, and thanked his luck, seeing the doctor standing outside. He went up to him, and tugged at his coat. "Um, excuse me Doctor. I nee-wah!" Spike jumped back, seeing that this wasn't the doctor, but rather, a robotic imitation. There was no nose to speak of, beady red lights for eyes, and a screen depicting a line that rapidly trembled whenever the machine spoke instead of a mouth.

The robot looked down at Spike. "Query: Can I help you with something, little meatba-er, dragon?" It asked.

Hesitantly, Spike grabbed his arm, and looked down. "Uh, sorry. I'm looking for Dr. Sorou." He mumbled.

"Statement: The master is currently down in his lab." The Robot stated with a large degree of confidence. "Luckily for you, he is currently accepting visitors. I shall open the door so that you may see him." The robot turned to the door controls.

The frightened little dragon nodded quickly. "Er, uh, thanks."

The doors slid open, and the robot returned it's attention to Spike. "Parting Statement: Have a good visit."

Spike quickly moved inside, going down the staircase leading into the doctor's lab. "Uh...Doctor?" He called out descending the staircase with a bit of apprehension. He found Ace working on a project at his desk, whistling a little tune, as he used a toothbrush and a pair of tongs to assist him in building some sort of motherboard.

Ace looked up from his work, and turned to Spike. He let a small smile out, greeting the dragon warmly. "Oh, hey, Spike. What's up?"

Spike sighed. He has always been a bit nervous around Dr. Sorou's robots, but he always felt comfortable around Dr. Sorou himself. He had this sort of charm that made everypony friendly and happy around him. Spike shrugged. "Oh, nothing much. I just wanted to ask you something."

"What did you want to ask me?" Ace said, putting down his 'tools' and turning to face the dragon.

Spike scratched his head. "Well, you, Geo and John all have ponies for girlfriends. Geo's even married to Twilight. Really, I think it's amazing that everypony is practically getting a special somepony that isn't a pony."

Ace cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean by that."

"Well..." Spike tried to find the words to ask Dr. Sorou about his thoughts, trying not to reveal too much of his secret to him. "There's just this...mare, that I want to be my special somepony, and you're in a relationship with a pony yourself. So I was just wondering, how do you do it? How do you get a girl interested in you?"

Unbeknownst to Spike, everypony in Ponyville knew who Spike's crush was, except the said crush. Ace nodded knowingly, but hesitated to speak. "...I'm probably not the best person to ask, Spike." He admitted. "John's the Double-Ot. I hear they're good at getting women to fawn over 'em."

"Well, how did you get Pinkie interested in you?" Spike insisted. He didn't want too many people knowing he had his eyes set on somepony.

Ace shrugged. "To be honest, Spike, I wasn't really trying, at first. But once I saw a lot of similarities between us, and I felt a small connection, that's when I started chasing her tail, if ya get my drift."

"But I never saw you do anything Pinkie would appreciate." Spike observed. "You never held the door for her, you never went out of your way to help her, you never devoted yourself to her-"

"That's just it, Spike." Ace said, cutting him off. "Women don't want a servant for a lover. You have to act like they're not the most important thing in the world to you. If you do what you just described, they're going to remain oblivious to your attempts at seduction, and you'll be 'Friendzoned.' You gotta put yourself, first. And when they see that you're not some single-minded, devoted servant who's wrapped around their finger, or in this case, hoof, they'll begin to take an interest in you. It drives women crazy if they can't get to you. They consider you a challenge, and try to get you to notice them, if they really love you. But if not, they give up, usually after the first try."

"I dunno, Doc." Spike said, reaching behind his head. "What you're saying sounds kinda...rude. It's like you're describing mares as...uh..."

"As what?" Ace asked, picking up on Spike's hesitation. "I believe that every woman wants to be strong and independent if she chooses to be."

Spike shook his head. "But the girl I'm after...I mean, I actually care about her."

Ace shrugged. "So? I didn't say that you can't care about her. In fact, it's better that you do care about her. If you do what I told you, then it'll really test yourself, just as much as it tests her. You have to care enough about her to want her to be her own woman. If you can't do that, then you don't have a chance with her."

"I think I can understand that." Spike nodded. "Thank you, Doctor."

"No problem, little man." Ace said, smiling as he patted Spike on his head. "Now, was there something else you needed?

"Uh, yeah!" Spike said, looking at the item he was holding. "Remember a few months back, when that thing you were building malfunctioned, and I got hit?"

Ace's smile faded. "The prototype particle beam rifle. I remember. And I'm still sorry it happened."

"And I wasn't hurt, so I still forgive you." Spike smiled up at him. "I remembered you saying you were impressed by my scales being able to deflect the blast?"

Ace shook his head. "I wasn't impressed. I was amazed. The beam just stopped, and the beam never stops, not even at obsidian. I wanted a sample of your scales to make a compound capable of replicating the feat."

"So that you could develop armor for the Equestrian Royal Army." Spike chimed in. "I remember you saying that."

Ace nodded. "I saw a means of both helping Equestria, and making a profit. But you didn't have any spare scales."

"Well, Doctor-"

"Spike, you've known me for a while." Ace said with a smile. "We're bros at this point. You can call me Ace."

"Alright." Spike nodded, smiling back at him. "Well, one of my scales fell off today, and I thought you'd want it." He held out the scale for Ace to take.

Ace's eyes lit up, as a large grin formed on his face. "Thank you, Spike!" He exclaimed, snatching the scale away. Ace immediately returned to his work desk, moving themotherboard out of the way too make room for new plans. "Now, with the research and materials available to me, I should be able to perfect a cloning process within a week! Oh, this is magnificent! If I can somehow determine the minimum penetration value for something like dragon scales, and get a sample of royal army's standard issue armor, I believe I can come up with an alloy far stronger than what is currently issued!" Spike, seeing that Ace was going on another one of his tyrades, decided to leave him alone, and left Ace's lab. "Oh, I'm bound to make a profit with this! Why do they call it profit, anyway? It sounds too much like prophet, which has a completely different meaning. I mean, I wanna help my country all the same, but I just wanna make some money, not predict the future. That's Pinkie's territory, with her fortune teller job. Actually, if I were to predict the future, I'd predict that I should be able to make a lot of money! In that case, would I be a profits prophet? No, I think the proper term is economic forecaster. But that doesn't sound like me. What do you think, Spike?" There was no answer. "Spike?" Ace turned around to see no one there. He shrugged. "Meh, his loss. I was about to offer him a cut, but if he doesn't want it..."

*****

Ace was busy drawing up plans for a cloning machine. He had been spending the rest of the day studying up on cloning, and genetic research. He was so excited by the prospect of new technology, he had not even noticed it began to rain outside, and was rapidly turning night. Stifling a yawn, Ace looked up at the clock, seeing it was close to ten. "Jeez." He said. "I reallyneed to take more breaks before I burn myself out." He sat back in his chair, and sighed. "I wonder what Pinkie's up to? She really wanted to get home quickly after that mailmare gave her that letter. Is something going on?" He wondered aloud.

At that moment, Ace heard a knock on his door. It was raining, so instead of going over to his computer to check who it was, he simply went to the door directly. He opened the door to see Pinkie standing there, soaking in the rain. She had an umbrella saddle on, protecting her from the rain, but her hair was down, long and straight. He was surprised that she didn’t look like her normal self, and she seemed to have been crying. He quickly ushered her inside, wondering what was wrong. “Pinks?” He asked, removing her saddle, and kneeling down to her level. “Is there something-“

She shushed him, putting a hoof over his mouth. “I…don’t wanna talk about it.”

He shook his head in confusion. “Well…” he was at a loss for words, he didn’t know what to do. “Is there any way I can-“ She silenced him with a kiss, a tear streaming down her eye.

She broke away, looking at him sorrowfully. “Please, Acey. No questions. Just spend the night with me.”

He picked her up, and held her close in his arms. “Are you absolutely sure, Pinkie?” He asked her.

She nodded, snuggling up to him. “Yes. Please, let’s just share this night together.”

He nodded. He didn’t know what was going on, but it was clear she needed him right now. Without another word, he took her in his room, and closed the door behind him.

*****

The next morning, Ace woke up, his lower half covered in confetti. He looked over to the other side of the bed, but he didn’t see Pinkie. He sat up quickly, looking around the room. “Pinkie?” He called. There was no answer. throwing on his clothes, Ace rushed out of his room. “Pinkie?!” He called again. He fruitlessly searched his lab, before finding, attached to his blackboard by a magnet, a note left for him. He took it, sat down, and began reading.

Dear Acey,

By the time you read this, I’ll be long gone. I…have to leave you. I have to leave Ponyville. I don’t want to, Sweet Celestia, I really don’t want to, but…It’s my family. I can’t go into details, and I wish I could tell you what’s going on. But my family’s in trouble, and if I don’t leave, they’re…something bad will happen to them.

I’m going back to the rock farm. I have to. I…I can’t ever come back. I just want you to know, that no matter what happens, I’ll always love you. It’s hard enough to say goodbye to you, and I couldn’t stand saying goodbye to anypony else. But I’ve made lots and lots of friends here in Ponyville, and I hope they all will remember me, and my fun parties. I wanted to spend as much time with you as I could before I left, Acey. You…You’re the stallion of my dreams. I just wish I could stay with you longer, even if it was only for one more minute. Remember me, will you? And take good care of Gummy for me.

Hugs & kisses,

Pinkamena Diane Pie

This letter ripped him apart on the inside. He couldn’t believe what he was reading. He began to analyze it. She needs to go, but she doesn’t want to leave? Her family’s in trouble? Why can’t she come back? There’s no rhyme or reason not to come back unless…

“No…” It had finally dawned on him. He stood, and looked up in disbelief. “It can’t be…” His mind flashed over all the facts.

*****

“I grew up on a rock farm outside of Ponyville.” Pinkie said. ”Those were sad times. Nopony smiled.”

*****

Twilight shook her head. “I just know that I can’t find anything about rock farming.” She told him. “If the library doesn’t have anything on it, then it might not be an officially recognized term.”

*****

“Around a year ago, a buncha Diamond Dogs ponynapped Rarity. They wanted to force her to work in their mines, but she ended up rescuing herself.” Pinkie recounted.

*****

“The raids have always been bad.” Said Shining Armor. “ Diamond Dogs take ponies as slaves to work in their mines. Sometimes, they ponynap entire families.”

*****

“After I found out what my special talent was, my family wanted me off the rock farm.” Pinkie told him. “They didn’t want my happiness to be stifled there.”

*****

She was smiling at him solemnly, and she bowed her head. “You’d better keep your promises. I’m not losing anyone else.”

*****

All at once, the tumblers fell into place. It all made sense, now. A large and horrific crime was being committed right under their noses. No, right under their feet. And nopony knew, because those who escaped it were too afraid to tell anypony. “Well,” he concluded, staring off grimly. “She doesn’t have to fear them anymore.” He grabbed his coat and goggles, and donned his attire. “I’ll make sure nopony ever fears them again. Hang on, Pinks. The Doctor’s making a house call.” He said, marching out the door of his lab.

The master plans

Ace was leaning against the fountain in town square, his Sorou-mobile parked not too far away, as he stood, looking angrily at the sky. It would've been a wonder somepony hadn't come up to ask him what was wrong, if it weren't for the fact that he was surrounded by hundreds of robots. The bulk consisted of Mine-bots, whose spider-like appearance unnerved the ponies that were looking on at the scene. Eight Doc-bots, robots in the likeness of Ace, were surrounding the fountain. Slender-bot and Pyro-bot were there as well, and even Tiny and a couple other Tread-bots were gathered at the scene. The gathering had caused a commotion of ponies wondering what was going on. They wanted to ask Ace what he was doing, but the various machines scared them. The machines didn't forbid anypony from going up to him, and they didn't seem that threatening on their own, but now that they were gathered in such large numbers, they all seemed quite intimidating.

It was Mayor Mare who decided to approach him, but not without the encouraging presence of her aides. They all trotted towards the apparently infuriated Dr. Sorou, intent on getting down to exactly why he was doing what he was doing. "Dr. Sorou, excuse me..." Began the Mayor, her aides letting her do all the talking. "...But do you mind telling me why your machines are gathered in Ponyville town square?"

"Robots." Ace replied calmly, still looking towards the sky.

Mayor Mare cocked her head. "I beg your pardon?"

"They're not mere machines." He responded, his gaze still fixed to the clouds. "They're robots. Ones that deserve respect."

"In that case, why are you robots in town square?" Mayor Mare asked, rephrasing her question. "I've gotten several complaints of this, now, and your actions are starting to unnerve everypony."

Ace turned his fiery gaze to Mayor Mare. The Mayor's aides shrinked at the intensity of his stare. "Is it against the law to hang around town square?" He asked.

The Mayor shook her head. "Not entirely, but you do have an alarming number of machi-I mean, robots, gathered here. As you can see, it's attracted quite a crowd. It's quite unnerving to see so many of these robots in one place."

Ace returned his attention to the skies. "I can sympathize, Mayor. However, I'm afraid this is necessary. Ponyville is the perfect staging area, here."

"Staging area?" Mayor Mare asked, curiously. "For what?"

There was a short pause, as Ace mused at the clouds. "...I'm afraid I can't say any more. I don't want to jump to conclusions."

The Mayor, confused by this statement, tried to press her point. "...Erm, well, regardless, if you don't disband soon, I'm afraid that you'll be in violation of Equestrian loitering laws."

Ace shook his head. "Don't worry, Mayor. I know the laws. I still have another hour. And within that time, Paul will be back with a report that will decide my next action. In any case, I will depart."

The Mayor blinked. "Paul?"

"One of my BIRDs." Ace explained.

More blinking. "You're waiting for a bird?"

Ace held out a finger, and wagged it at her. "No, not a bird, a BIRD. Ah, there he is, now." One of Ace's robotic BIRDs swooped down from the sky, and perched itself on Ace's left finger. After giving him a quick pet, Ace hooked Paul up to his wrist mounted PDA. After a few short moments resulting in the intensity of Ace's expression growing, he shouted, "I knew it!" Ace quickly unhooked Paul, before going over to the Sorou-mobile, barking orders as he took off. "All units! Engage combat systems! Form up on your battalion leaders, and prepare for briefing!"

As one, the various bots looked up, and their photoreceptors began glowing red. Quickly, the bots began forming ranks, a total of six companies stood at attention, paying direct attention to Dr. Sorou. The ponies were startled by this. Combat systems? Battalions? Why was Ace, this human they've known for a little less than a year, suddenly behaving so militaristically? Where did this swift personality change come from? As the crowd began to chatter in nervous excitement, Rainbow Dash, who had been watching with interest from the clouds, swooped down to Ace. "Doc, what the hay is going on?!" She demanded harshly, as Ace's Sorou-mobile hovered in front of a disciplened group of Mine-bots. "Don't tell me this is your surprise!" She snarled.

Ace pressed her away by the collar, anger burning bright in his eyes. "You want an explanation, Rainbow? Then listen to the briefing, because I'm not saying this twice." He glanced down at the ground, seeing a mix of frightened, curious, and suspicious spectators. He spotted Twilight and the others looking on in apprehension, as they tried to settle her foals. "Go to the others, and listen. You'll have your explanation, then." Hesitantly, Rainbow zoomed off to meet with her friends, still regarding Ace with suspicion.

Ace turned his attention to his bots, and breathed, causing him to relax. “Alright, listen up!" said, his voice projecting from a loudspeaker. A light appeared on the front of the Sorou-mobile, which projected maps, video, and pictures pertaining to Ace's 'briefing.' "We have a situation. Earlier today, Pinkamena Diane Pie, resident of Ponyville, and Element of Laughter, left a note for me in my house. In it, she told me she’s never coming back." A mutter went through the crowd, as a holographic version of Ace's letter appeared. "I got curious, and sent Paul out to investigate, following a tracking beacon Pinkie has installed in the choker I gave her. Paul discovered Pinkie arriving at an area near Rambling Rock Ridge, just East of Ponyville, through the Everfree Forest." A holographic video played depicting Pinkie walking along a rocky area from a BIRD's eye view. "There, she met with and surrendered to a group of Diamond Dogs, who proceeded to strip her of her possessions, and escort her into a cave."

Gasps and shouts of disbelief sounded, as three Diamond Dogs on the video retrieved Pinkie. The video was replaced with a 3D turntable rendition of a Diamond Dog. “Diamond Dogs are dumb, but tough. They value brawn, food, and most of all, gems. They like gems so much, that they’re willing to kidnap other creatures and force them to work in their mines. The evidence presented to me leads me to conclude that this group of Diamond Dogs has blackmailed Pinkie Pie into coming back to their mine, where they will proceed to put her to work as a slave miner." The holographic image turned into Ace's face, which spoke as he did. "We are NOT gonna let that stand. Our mission is to head into the cave Pinkie disappeared into, free any prisoners we find, and eliminate the Diamond Dog threat in Rambling Rock Ridge. But be aware, while these Diamond Dogs are rogue, they are still citizens of Equestria. Shoot to wound, but use of deadly force is authorized in the event a prisoner is in danger of being killed.

"We'll be launching a Tet offensive, attacking the enemy everywhere at once." Ace gazed over at the tall bot in the black suit. “Slender-bot, your battalion is going to secure an escape route for the prisoners. Push enemy forces back, and don’t give ‘em an inch. Keep some units in reserve in case the main attack force needs backup." Slender-bot gave a thumbs up, as Ace looked over at the hulking bot with cannons on his shoulders. "Pyro-bot, your battalion’s gonna join me in launching the main assault. We’ll mine in through the floor, and attack the Diamond Dogs directly."

The big robot nodded. "Mission: Acknowledged." His voice boomed.

"All units are to secure the area before freeing the prisoners." Ace continued. "I’m going to get the Rockidile. Get in position, but do not launch the assault until I arrive. Does everyone understand?" Green acknowledgement lights winked on, signalling the bots knew what they were supposed to do. "Good! Then mount up, and move out!” The bots began their march, following the designated coordinates programmed into their individual maps. Ace's Sorou-mobile flew back to his lab, sending a signal to the Rockidile to prepare for his arrival.
*****

Clyde Pie collapsed, the weight of his toil catching up to him. "Papa!" Pinkie ran up to him, taking some of the bags that were stacked heavily on his back. Inkie was on Clyde's other side, helping him to his hooves.

"Thank ya, girls." Clyde said, grunting, and gasping for air. Pinkie had come back this morning, much to the dismay of the Pie family. After helping her escape after she found her special talent, and letting her live her life, the last thing they wanted was to see her brought back to the rock farm. The reunion was bittersweet. The Pies all missed Pinkie, and Pinkie missed them, but to be brought back here to live out her life doing exactly what they didn't want anyone to do...it was disheartening, to say the least.

Blinkie and Bonnie Pie helped to divert the Diamond Dogs' attention away from the scene. If they saw Clyde 'slacking,' he'd get the whip. The family had to stick together in order to weather this ordeal, and that meant making sure that when one was in trouble, the others helped. Pinkie had lived like that for part of her foalhood before moving to Ponyville, and the simple responsibilities of watching over her family stuck with her. "Ah'll be alright, girls. Let's just git back ta work 'afore the guards see us." The family nodded, and returned to work.

As they worked, transporting the stacks of diamonds, Inkie glared at her older sister with tears in her eyes. "Why'd you come back, Pinkamena?" She asked quietly, making sure that the guards were out of earshot. "We worked so hard to free you...is this how you repay us?"

Pinkie was shocked to hear her speak in such a tone to her, and immediately teared up. "I didn't want to come back, Inkamena." She replied. "But when they found out where I lived, they sent a letter to me threatening to..." She gulped, unable to finish her sentence. She hung her head low, sniffling. "I...I couldn't live with the fact that if I didn't come back, you would all be gone."

Inkie looked at her sister solemnly. She wanted to be angry at her sister, but she couldn't. Inkie doubted she'd make a different decision in the same situation. She offered a hoof, patting Pinkie's shoulder. "I'm sorry, Pinkamena." She said. "In any case, it's good to see you again." Pinkie offered a small smirk.

The crack of a whip sounded, and Inkie cried out in pain. "Back to work, ponies!" Shouted a Diamond Dog.

"Hey!" Pinkie shouted back at the Dog, dropping her load. "She WAS working!" Tears were in her eyes as she said this, still recovering from the shock. Another lash echoed, causing Pinkie to fall as her leg gave out from pain.

"You no talk back to betters!" The Dog shouted. "Your voice annoying, too! You need punishment!" The Dog raised his whip up, but was stopped when Clyde stepped in front of him.

"Please, guard." He pleaded. "ya hafta fergive 'er! She jus' got 'ere!" Clyde was backhanded, causing him to fall. Two more Dogs came up, one blocking the pies from interfering, and the other holding Pinkie where she was.

"She needs to be taught respect! You no interfere, or you ALL get lesson!" As he said this, he lashed out at Pinkie with his whip, and struck her. Pinkie cried out in pain, ignoring her twitching tail. "Silence your annoying voice, pony!" The Diamond Dog lashed out again, but at that exact moment, a wall of rubble fell from the roof, blocking the whip, and causing the Dogs to jump back. A large pile of rubble was formed, at least ten feet high. The Dog had lost the tip of his whip in the rubble, so with a highly annoyed look over his face, he went to retrieve it.

When the Dog touched a single stone, however, the rubble shifted. The Dog jumped back, and began barking at the pile. "Go tell others! Rocks are moving!" He shouted at one of the other Dogs. But before the other Dog could leave, the rubble began moving again, and from it came a huge, ten foot tall metal man with cannons on his shoulders. The head swiveled, and gazed at the Dogs.

"Position: Compromised." It's deep voice boomed. "All units: Attack."

Suddenly, Mine-bots began popping out of the ground from all over, catching the attention of the Diamond Dogs. The slaves began to panic, not knowing what was going on. They wanted to run, but being chained together or to the ground left all of them quivering in fear. The Dogs rushed in, flinging spears and shooting crossbows at the bots.

Each and every shot was stopped dead in it's tracks by their armor.

Pyro-bot lumbered over to the Diamond Dog who had been whipping Pinkie. Judging by his decorated armor, and gold sword, he was likely some commander or Diamond Dog hero. The Dog lunged at Pyro-bot, and swung his sword, only to have it bent at a ninety degree angle upon impact. The Dog wasn't intimidated. "You think you better?! I Diamond Dog! I stronger and tougher than any! I not-" The Dog was cut off mid-speech by the large hand of Pyro-bot seizing him by the legs, and smacking him repeatedly on the floor. After several craters had been made, Pyro-bot looked at the Dog, and slammed him down one more time, for good measure.

Pyro-bot lumbered away, leaving the Diamond Dog huddled in the crater, his pride demolished in the assault. "Puny Dog." He muttered, looking for some other ass to kick.

The robot's attack was swift, as Particle Beams lanced out, melting spear tip, and wounding Diamond Dogs. The bots were systematic, methodical. The Dogs were disorganized, chaotic. The smaller chambers fell easily, but the larger chambers had pockets of resistance. The only thing keeping the Diamond Dogs from being completely annihilated was the fact that the Diamond Dogs could appear and disappear through the ground, digging just as fast as the Mine-bots. That, and the bots were ordered not to kill unless a slave's life was put in danger. By the time the Diamond Dogs organized, they were just small cell of resistance in the large, central mine, guarding a large metal door. They put up a fierce resistance, until a humongous metal crocidile bursted up through the floor, and roared at the Diamond Dogs. "Surrender, now!" Ace's voice sounded through the loudspeaker. Immediately, not wanting to be eaten, the Diamond Dogs began throwing down their weapons, and raising their paws in the air.
*****

Ace descended from the cockpit of the Rockidile, as Pyro-bot, Slender-bot, and the eight Doc-bots surrounded him. The Mine-bots had begun releasing prisoners, and the slaves had started to trust these robots as their liberators. But Ace was not happy, as he regarded his bots with a stern look. "I told you to wait for my arrival to attack." He said. "What happened?"

"Doctor: Apologies." Pyro-bot boomed. "Position: Compromised. Assault: In danger."

One of the Doc-bots stepped forward. "Statement: Master, if one of the Diamond Dogs spotted our forces, then they would've had time to prepare. Praise: Pyro-bot showed great initiative in moving foward with the attack without you."

Ace considered the situation, and nodded. "In that case, good work. The battle would've been over sooner had I attacked at the same time, but I think it's for the best that the battle turned out as it did."

"'Scuse me, sir." A brown pony with a grey mane came up. "But mah family an' I got a bit of a problem."

Knowing now would be a perfect opportunity to show his allegiances, the Doctor turned to face him. "I'm here to help." He told him. "What's wrong?"

"Well, ah, sir, one o' my daughters was ponynapped while ya'll were fightin' them Diamond Dogs." The pony said. "They took 'er to the chief's chamber." The pony indicated the big door that the Diamond Dogs were guarding. "Ah'd greatly appreciate it if ya'll could save her."

Ace looked over at the door, and nodded. "She's as good as rescued." He assured him. "It's why I'm here. What's her name?"

"Thank ya, sir! Thank ya!" He said, smiling brightly, almost brought to tears. "Her name is Pinkamena-"

"Pie?" Ace cut him off. "You're Pinkie's dad?"

"Ya know mah daughter?" Mr. Pie asked. "Who are you?"

"My name is Dr. Ace Sorou." Ace told him. "I'm her special somepony." Ace suddenly pointed at the door, shouting orders at his bots. "I want through that door, now!"

Dealing with dogs

"Get that door open!" Shouted Ace as he ran over, leaving Clyde Pie in a shocked guffaw. The Mine-Bots started blasting at the door, but instead of buckling under the barrage of blasts, the door stood, and glowed with green runes. Ace watched as the door's colors faded, going back to a metal hue. He turned to one of his Doc-bots. "DeeBee-Oh-Two, scan it."

One of the Doc-bots stepped foward. "Analyzing..." A bluish beam projected from it's eyes, sweeping the door up and down. "Report: Data analysis complete. Ambient background energies detected on door. Conjecture: Though the energies are unidentified, I suspect the energies are magical in nature. Observation: After all, these meatbags are far too ill-advanced to have energy shielding of any technological level."

"Do the energies cover the area around the door?" Ace asked.

"Answer: No, master." The Doc-bot concluded.

"Then rip it from it's hinges." Ace ordered. The Mine-bots obeyed, blasting the rock that was holding the door in place. The Rock crumbled away, until the door was standing freely on it's own. Pyro-bot lumbered up to the door, and grabbed it, giving it a great heave, and tossing it behind him. As soon as he did, a green flash emitted from the room, temporarily blinding all the bots and Ace. When they could finally see again, They saw a troop of Dogs, a huge Dog with several bone decorations on his armor, and a sharp dressed Dog sitting on a throne, holding a black gem.

The Diamond Dog on the throne stood, his appearance and posture suggesting a more intelligent Dog than the others seen."You've ruined my mines! You've taken my utilities! And you dare to barge in to my chambers unannounced?!" He spoke with authority. "Why?! Why have you come?!"

Ace stepped foward, as a BIRD transformed into a Taser pistol above him. Ace snatched it out of the air. "Do I need a reason to stop forced labor of innocent beings?" He asked, pointing the taser at the apparent chief. "Life as a slave is no life at all."

"So you've come to free my utilities." The Dog scoffed, sitting back down. "I see. I believe introductions are in order. I am Chieftan Razor. With me is Warchief Doomclaw and my elite guard. I would like to know your name."

Ace was suspicious of Razor, but was willing to indulge him. "I'm Doctor Ace Sorou, P.H.D. The big guy behind me is Pyro-bot, and the ones that look like me are my Doc-bots." Ace scowled at Razor. "Let's cut to the chase, since you're obviously smarter than the average Dog. You're right, I'm here to free the slaves. Your army is beaten, and your territory taken. If you surrender, I'll make sure you're given a fair trial."

"How generous of you." Razor replied, cocking an eyebrow. "I have no intention of giving up my mines, and I plan to fight tooth and nail. Yet, I sense that you aren't here specifically for the slaves out there. I suspect that it was because of a specific slave that you've come." As he spoke, the elite guards brought out Pinkie, a cloth tied around her muzzle, and a guard holding her in a full nelson as she struggled to free herself.

Ace showed a look of concern for a split second, before steeling himself, and addressing the chieftain. "Why would I be worried about one pony?" Ace's voice caught Pinkie's attention. She looked at Ace with pleading eyes. "That one pony doesn't mean much to me, especially since I technically have more hostages than you." He stated, keeping his gaze fixed on Razor. Pinkie looked a little hurt at this.

Doomclaw pointed an accusing claw at Ace. "Chief smart!" The big Dog boomed. "Chief saw pretty necklace! No one gives necklace that pretty unless giver cares a lot!"

Knowing he was cornered, Ace turned to Doomclaw. "It's a choker, you numbskull."

"So you admit that she means more to you than the others?" smirked.

Though Pinkie was happy that Ace really did care, Ace sighed. "I can't get anything past you." Ace admitted. "You're a credit to your kind."

"And you are pain in the neck." Razor replied. "Now let's see how much you're willing to sacrifice in order to get your precious pink pony back." The Dog grinned wide. "I want your forces to turn and leave, letting my Dogs go, and my slaves return to work. After that, I will return this pony to you safely. If you refuse, then this pony dies."

Quite scared, Pinkie began struggling more, trying to get away from her captors. Ace was unfazed, and sighed. "Oh, my!" He said dramatically, raising the back of his palm to his forehead. "What ever am I to do? Surely I cannot choose between my lover and my morals! I haven't the will to carry out a third option!" Ace gave Razor an annoyed expression, before he looked behind himself, and did a hand signal, causing a trio of Doc-bots to run off.

This action did not go unnoticed to the chieftain. "What did you do?" He asked.

Ace smirked grimly. "Let me start by saying that I do unto others as they would do unto me. If someone is honest with me, I'm honest with them. If someone generously gives me something, I endeavor to find a suitable gift for them. If someone makes me happy, I do my best to try and make them happy." Ace's expression turned into a snarl. "If someone threatens or hurts my friends or family, can you guess what I'm gonna do to theirs?" A stoic expression crossed the chieftan's face. "I noticed something with all the prisoners I took. Not one of them was a woman or child. That means you either force your own tribe into slavery..." Ace regarded Razor. "Unlikely." He commented before continuing. "Or you have your noncombatants hidden somewhere nearby. And I have a whole mine full of informants willing to tell their liberators where to find them."

Razor's eyes burned into Ace. "You wouldn't."

"Try me." Ace dared. "Here's a counter offer; If you let Pinkie go, and keep this fight between us, I'll call off my bots. But if you persist on holding my marefriend hostage, then I will find your lover, and I will make sure she suffers the same fate you have in store for Pinkie. The question now isn't what I'm willing to sacrifice for my special somepony, but rather, what are YOU willing to sacrifice to keep your mines?"

Razor regarded Ace, seeing the scientist was completely serious. After some internal deliberation, he growled, and raised the gem. "Plan B!" He shouted, ushering a dark ray of light to shoot forth. Ace braced for impact, and Pyro-bot moved to shield him, but Ace was not the target. Warchief Doomclaw was struck by the beam, instead of hurting him, the beam made him grow and mutate, causing the bone armor he wore to fuse with him. Dark energies emanated from his body, and his eyes glowed red, as he let out a demonic howl. "Doomclaw!" Said Razor, the transformation complete. "Destroy them!"

"Pyro-bot!" Ace shouted. "Take him out!"

Pyro-bot and Doomclaw clashed, wrestling each other's grip for control. Pyro-bot shifted his weight, and tossed Doomclaw into the main mining area. Pyro-bot pressed the assault, as he charged into the fight.

Ace looked over to where Chieftain Razor was, only to discover he nd his elite guards had run off with Pinkie. The curtain behind his throne had opened, revealing a secret passage. Ace quickly took a spare Particle beam rifle from one of his Doc-bots. "Doc-bots, with me! If Razor gets away, we'll never get Pinkie back!" Ace and his Doc-bots disappeared into the tunnel, hot on the heels of Razor's pack.

Pyro-bot hefted Doomclaw up by his neck, his photoreceptors glaring into Doomclaw's eyes. "Function: None. Escape: None."

Doomclaw thrusted his legs into Pyro-bot's chest, knocking him onto his back. Doomclaw lept onto Pyro-bot, and began slashing his magically charged claws over Pyro-bot's armor. "I no escape!" He thundered. "I rip you to pieces! I destroy you!"

Pyro-bot caught Doomclaw's paw on a downswing. His shoulder mounted particle beam focused on Doomclaw."Error: False!" The bot blasted the Dog, sending him sailing into the roof of the cavern, cracking it, and causing water droplets from an underground lake to form on the roof.

Doomclaw landed on the ground some distance away, giving Pyro-bot enough time to get to his feet, and formulate a plan. Doomclaw looked up at the bot, and howled loudly. Pyro-bot got into a fighting stance. Doomclaw pounced at Pyro-bot, who brought his iron fist down at Doomclaw.
*****
Ace and his Doc-bots jogged through the caverns, following the tracks of the Diamond Dogs. They kept going until they hit a dead end. The tracks just seemed to disappear.

Ace turned to one of his Doc-bots. "Deebee-oh-three, assessment?"

"Analyzing..." The Doc-bot scanned the area. "Observation: The Diamond Dogs are capable of tunneling great distances over short periods of time. Conjecture: I believe that the Diamond Dogs have simply tunneled to another part of the complex."

"That settles it. Blast the walls until you find another chamber." Ace ordered. Particle beams let loose, and soon enough, three more chambers were discovered. One going left, one right, and one continuing on in a lower level. Ace jumped down into the chamber below. "Deebee-oh-four, with me! The rest of you, pair off, and search the other chambers!" The bots went their separate ways, and Doctor Sorou led DB-04 down the central path.

It wasn't long until the doctor found a pair of Diamond Dogs guarding a bridge. Elite Guards, by the looks of it. They had spotted the doctor and his bot, but had elected to stay in the middle of the bridge, spears pointed at them, rather than charge. Now certain he was on Razor's trail, Ace tapped a few keys on his PDA, while DB-04 aimed his particle beam at the Dogs. After stepping foward, DB-04 focused in on his targets. "Optimal accuracy ratio achieved." He stated, before melting the spear tips of the Diamond Dogs. Confused by the disappearance of the threatening end of their weapons, the Diamond Dogs charged foward, off the bridge. Ace stepped foward, bringing out his Taser Pistol, and engulfed the pair in a wide bolt of lightning, stunning them. The situation dealt with, Ace and DB-04 moved on.
*****
Pyro-bot slammed his fist into Doomclaw's muzzle, but Doomclaw countered by smacking Pyro-bot down to the ground. Pyro-bot sweeped his leg, and tripped the Dog. It seemed useless to attack the dog head on, So Pyro-bot looked for other means of taking him out. A glint in the ceiling showed on Pyro-bot's sensors. He scanned it to discover it was a large deposit of iron ore, unmined, and set into the ceiling. Pyro-bot got to his feet, forming a plan in his mind. He ran over to an area underneath the ore, and faced Doomclaw, who was charging after him.

Doomclaw pounced at Pyro-bot, but Pyro-bot took Doomclaw by his shoulders mid-leap, planted a foot on the dog's stomach, and used the dog's momentum to toss Doomclaw into the wall behind him. Pyro-bot got into position, and aimed his heat ray up at the ore. Doomclaw stumbled over to him, disoriented, but still willing to continue the fight. A red beam connected with the ore, melting it instantly. Molten iron splashed down onto Doomclaw in large drops. Doomclaw seemed unfazed, perhaps because of the magical invulnerability given by the dark magic he had been hit with. There was still a large amount of molten metal on the Dog, but now, Doomclaw was angered. "Stop fighting!" He roared, smacking Pyro-bot away with both paws, and sending him flying. "I stronger! I tougher! I beat you!"

Pyro-bot got to his feet, and looked up at the ceiling again. He saw it; the crack. He readied his particle beam, and waited for Doomclaw, who was overburdened with the liquid metal that was slowly starting to solidify. Doomclaw lumbered over to Pyro-bot, right under the crack. Pyro-bot's particle beam shot forth, and the lake drained water down upon the Diamond Dog, cooling the metal, and encasing him in iron. As the Mine-bots began draining the water by mining overflow tunnels, Pyro-bot stomped towards Doomclaw, and glared in his face. "You think this hold me?!" Doomclaw shouted, as he struggled to move, to no avail.

Satisfied with his work, Pyro-bot turned around. "Objective: Complete. Target: Neutralized." He stated, walking off.
*****
A particle beam lanced out, causing a cave-in just ahead. As Razor and his elite guard shook the cobwebs out of their heads, a voice came from behind. "Don't move!"

Looking back, and seeing Ace and his Doc-bots behind him, Razor took his sword, and Pinkie Pie. "Take one more step, and she dies!" He threatened, as his elite guard put up their spears.

The Doc-bots aimed their rifles at the dogs. "Warning: It is unwise to threaten the master or his lover." One of the Doc-bots said. "I suggest you surrender while our weapons are still charging, meatbag."

Ace put his hands up. "Everyone, calm your nuts!" He exclaimed. His attention turned to Razor. "Explain something to me, Chieftan." He said. "You have this perfect mining operation, with hundreds of slaves. You're making plenty of profit. Yet, you blackmail one runaway into coming back, risking your entire operation. Why?"

Razor was silent for a moment. But then, he spoke. "No one has ever escaped my mine." He replied. "I can't have rumors abound of the legendary Pie pony who managed to free herself of the mines. It rouses the utilities."

"It gives them hope that they'll one day escape?" Ace asked. Razor nodded. Ace shook his head, wagging his finger. "Now, see, I don't buy that. You're a smart dog, and you don't seem like the control freak type. Furthermore, you seem adamant about keeping Pinkie here. So why? What's the real reason you came after Pinkie?"

Razor bared his teeth, as he began sweating. But then, he harrumphed. "I gave my explanatiom. You don't want to believe it? Suit yourself." He glared at Ace. "If you're trying to convince me to give up my only bargaining chip, save your breath, it's not gonna work."

Ace shrugged, smirking. "Oh, no. I knew it wasn't gonna work. I'm just stalling for time so that he could get behind you." Ace pointed behind Razor and his guards to see the tall, black suited Slender-bot. Before any of the dogs could react, several mechanical tentacles shot forth from behind Slender, and grabbed the dogs. They all yipped and yelped in fear, as Pinkie dropped to the ground. Ace rushed over, and untied her. They shared an embrace, before Slender disappeared with the Diamond Dogs.

"Oh, Acey!" She sobbed. "I was so scared. And not in a good way, either. That wasn't any fun! I don't wanna go through that ever again!"

"Shh, shh." Ace comforted her. "It's alright. I'm here, now." Slender suddenly reappeared, minus the Diamond Dogs, and holding Razor's crystal. He extended his hand out to Ace, who caught the gem. Ace looked at the crystal, then up at Slender. "What did you do with them?" He asked, before waving his hand and shaking his head. "No, no, no, no, no. Don't tell me. I don't wanna know."

Epilogue

Ace got a hero's welcome when he got back to Ponyville, but that's not all he got. Apparently, the Royal Guard didn't like the fact that private citizens could have their own secret military. Which is why Twilight's brother was currently chewing him out in the Golden Oaks Library.

"If you're implying that I did anything illegal..." Ace said, tapping a small case in his hands. "Then I'm sorry to say, you're wrong. I've studied Equestrian law, and I haven't broken any ordinances. No one died, I've freed citizens of Equestria, and the Diamond Dog threat in this area is gone. I fail to see how I did anything bad."

"What you did was violate the trust of Equestria! Her government, and Her rulers!" Shining Armor spat. "Do you have any idea how this looks?! A borderline insane scientist building up his own army for the sake of doing a job reserved for the Equestrian Royal Army! To the outside observer, it looks like a power play, to get the people on your side so that you can install a new regime!"

"Do I really come off as that ambitious?!" Ace asked indignantly. "I'll have you know that if there were a Royal Garrison in this area, I wouldn't have a combat function in my bots! Ponyville's been attacked before! And if the citizens of Ponyville can't rely on their own government to protect them, then they should at least rely on me!"

"Don't act so high and mighty." Shining Armor told Ace, knowingly. "You didn't free those slaves out of the goodness of your heart. I know your type, and I see through your ploy. You saw a good opportunity to make yourself look better than the Princesses! That would've gotten you Ponyville's support! And with a whole town supporting you, you could've gotten a position of power from which you could plot a scheme to overthrow Celestia!"

Ace cocked an eyebrow. "If you truly believe that..." He held out his wrists. "Then arrest me now. I'm obviously a threat to your pride and your regime, but that doesn't matter. What matters to me is that the ponies out there are safe, and happily reunited with their friends and family after God knows how long. If I have to sacrifice my own freedom in order to ensure that others get theirs, then I will gladly make that sacrifice. Y'know why? Because they deserve it. And I will go to any length to protect them."

For the longest time, all Shining Armor did was stare at Ace. Then, he smiled. "Did you hear that, Princess?" He called up the stairs.

"I did." The angelic voice of Princess Celestia responded. Coming from Twilight's room, the Princess glided down into the main area of the library. Out of respect, Ace kneeled. Suffice to say, he was confused. What was the Princess doing here, he wondered. And why was she listening to this conversation? "Dr. Sorou, please rise." She ordered. To which, Ace did. "Your actions today have shown great honor, mercy, bravery, and vigilance. Qualities I've come to expect within the officers of the Equestrian Royal Army. You have proven yourself worthy of joining the ranks of some of Equestria's most valiant protectors. And thus, I, Princess Celestia, offer you a place among them."

Ace blinked, slowly turning to Shining Armor, who was still smiling. "This was...a test?" He asked.

Shining nodded. "Yes, it was. One that you passed with flying colors."

"There are many who volunteer for the Royal Army, but few have the tenacity to stick to it's tenants the way that you do." Princess Celestia said. "You are worthy of the respect of any Royal officer."

Ace looked at Celestia, and smiled. "Princess, it would be my honor to accept this station."

"Then by the power vested in me through my own divinity, I, Princess Celestia, grant you the title of Lieutenant in the Equestrian Royal Army. You are hereby sworn to guard all of Equestria against all threats, foreign and domestic. Your assigned garrison is Ponyville."

Ace laughed in joy. "Thank you, Princess."

The Princess nodded. "You are dismissed."

Ace saluted, and left the library, eager to tell his friends the news, who were waiting right outside. Everyone was happy for him, and no one more so than Pinkie Pie, who was talking a mile a minute about the congrats-on-your-promotion-and-thank-you-for saving-me-and-my-family party. Ths day was almost perfect. Looking down at the case in his hand, Ace could think of only one thing to make it perfection. "Pinks..." He said, catching the attention of the partier. He waved her over with a smile. As soon as she was in front of him, he knelt down, taking one of her hooves. He opened up the case, and Pinkie gasped. "Would you make me the happiest man in Equestria?"

Pinkie inhaled, the looked down at her hoof passively, shining it on her coat. "Well, since you're asking..." Suddenly, Pinkie tackled Ace, and began showering him with kisses. "OF COURSE I'M GONNA SAY YES!" She shouted, pecking him all over his face.

NOW today was perfect.
*****
“…And then you know what he did?! He busted down the door to our meeting when I was chewing out the Diamond Dog’s leader!” A Unicorn with an Orange coat bawled out her blue eyes. Her poufy blonde mane was styled to look just as frou-frou as the rich garb she wore. “Now I’ll never get any more gems! Isn’t that awful, Slinky?” She asked the Earth pony beside her.

The pony beside her touched a hoof to the Unicorn’s head. “This world is so unfair, Ignobility.” The pony said, gloomily, a solemn look in her purple eyes. She had a black coat, and a flat purple mane. A teardrop adorned her flank. “All we can do is pick ourselves up, and channel our outrage into it.”

“Aww, poor baby.” Came a Pegasus sitting atop a cloud above them, sounding as regal as Ignobility looked. “Listen, dearie. No one gives a hoof.” The Pegasus polished her hoof on her lime-colored coat, flicking back her green hair. “It’s your fault you lost your precious Diamond Dog mines. If you hadn’t gotten them to ponynap that foalish pink mare, that human meddler would never have shown his face.”

“Hey! Show a little sympathy for once, Gloomy Glob!” Ignobility shouted. “I’ve had one of my most profitable ventures ripped away from me! Now, I’ll only be twice as rich next year! That means less money for us to work with!”

“Your point being?” Gloomy Glob cocked an eyebrow. “Once the master is free again, money will hardly matter. We’re all going to be treated as queens should. Slinky Sigh, dear.” She said, not paying any attention to the pony she was addressing, instead focusing her emerald eyes on her hoof. “A word of advice. Don’t feed Ignobility any more sympathy. It’s beneath you.”

“Hey!” Ignobility yelped. “I deserve that sympathy! It’s mine! I always get what’s mine!”

“You didn’t get Sweet Apple Acres!” Another Pegasus said, swooping down from the sky. This pony had pink fur, and a tangled red mane, her blue eyes seemed to perpetually burn with anger. “Those two stupid foals managed to fumble the plan with their hair-brained machine! Which is why you don’t trust a Unicorn to do a Pegasus’ job!”

“It’s not like your plan was much better, Brazen Spite!” Ignobility shot back. “That Minotaur was supposed to drive the Element of Kindness away from her friends! But nooooo! Her bond with them grew stronger! All because you couldn’t keep on the attack!”

“All of you, shut up!” A fifth voice called out. “We’re not going to free the master by standing around arguing.” The purple Unicorn thought for a second, her fiery orange mane sprawled out down her blue coat.

“Alright, Midnight Glow!” Brazen said. “What’s your plan?”

The Unicorn thought for a moment, as anger smoldered in her red eyes. “They’re starting to take the offensive. We don’t know whether or not they’re on to us, but we shouldn’t take that chance. We’re going to have to step up our game, and go after them directly. No more puppeteering. The six of us have to take matters into our own hooves. When Sour Apples gets back, we'll plan our next step.”

Trailer: To Test is Science!

A/n: This is a fun little thing I did to get the creative juices flowing, and hopefully hype up my next story. These ideas and lines are highly subject to change, and nothing is set in stone. If you don't want any spoilers at all, then I suggest you stop reading. As for everyone else, Enjoy!
*****
"These guys are coming out of the woodwork." Ace said, examining Ponyville from atop Sugarcube corner.
*****
"How can we trust you to defend us when you can't even defend yourself?!" One irate pony shouted from the crowd.
*****
“I'm concerned that your personal attachment to this mission is clouding your judgement." Princess Celestia stated.
*****
“John...How well did emm-eye-six train you?" Ace asked.

John cocked an eyebrow. "You want me to pull a double-oh-seven?"
*****
"This bot is powered by magic...He's quite capable and willing to protect Equestria." Ace assured her.

"So why is he interested in Nightmare Moon?" Twilight looked at the Doctor.
*****
DB-47 got out his weapon. "Statement: This meatbag is expressing hostile intentions, master. Can we kill him, now?"
*****
“You wanna drag my wife and my child into this fight?!" Ace shouted. "Well, if you wanna play that game, then I can play it, too!"
*****
“There are things at work, human, that science cannot comprehend!" Midnight spat.
*****
“Ace, stop!" Rainbow called to him. "You're going too far!! What would Pinkie think?!"
*****
The man approached the table with a creepy smile. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am Professor Doutor Henrique Manglanosa."
*****
To Test is Science!
Coming soon...
*****
His eyes began to glare at Ace. “And you stole my grandfather's work."