Reading Is Hard To Do

by Graymane Shadow

Rating: everyone
Tags: Comedy, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Applejack, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 1660

Why is smoke billowing from the Castle of Friendship? And who is to blame?

Twilight Sparkle returns from a trip to Canterlot to discover the Castle of Friendship looking considerably worse for wear.

Who could have done this, and more importantly, why?

Written for the Bean's Writing Group prompt "Five Minutes Too Late". Cover art by Madmax.

An audio reading by Nailah can be found here.

Featured from 9-21 to 9-22-2021, peaking at the #5 spot. Thanks, everypony!

Published 2021-09-21 18:30:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-09-21 18:30:00 UTC

Home Is Where The Smoke Is

Having seen the smoking wreckage of her home once before, Twilight had hoped that such horrors were firmly behind her. And yet, as she stared at the Castle of Friendship, she couldn't help feeling a unpleasant sense of déjà vu.

She’d been away for the past week, having been invited to Canterlot by Princess Celestia, a trip that had been half research project, half vacation, complete with spa sessions with her fellow princesses. While she'd enjoyed her time, there was no denying that she had been quite eager to board the train to return home and resume her studies - and to see her friends, of course.

It had been warm enough on the train, and comfortable enough, that Twilight had fallen asleep at the midway point of the ride. She might even have slept past her stop had it not been for the extremely loud bang that echoed through the air as they rounded the last curve into Ponyville.

Blearily, Twilight had rubbed the sleep from her eyes before looking out the window to try and see what might have caused it. Seeing the smoke billowing out of the Castle of Friendship, she’d flown out the window without even bothering to collect her saddlebags.

Now she stood in the road leading to the castle, staring slack-jawed at the mess before her. The bulk of the windows had been blown out, their glittering glass strewn across the grounds and glinting in the light from Celestia’s sun overhead. The large front doors hung askew, and as she watched, one of them fell off its hinges, sliding down the front steps to land pathetically on the ground.

As if triggered by the fallen door, white flakes began to stream out of the windows on one side, like falling bits of snow.

“What in the wide world of Equestria is – eep!” Beside her, Rarity appeared, her eyes having spotted what Twilight was staring at. “What the…”

“I don’t know,” Twilight said. She sneezed as some of the smoke tickled her nostrils.

“Is anyone inside?” Rarity asked. “I don’t see Spike – where is he?!”

“Spike’s visiting the Dragon Lands, he’s gone for another week,” Twilight replied automatically, wiping her nose with one hoof. “And Starlight is off somewhere with Trixie for the week. The castle should have been empty.”

The sound of hooves beating on the ground drew Rarity’s attention, and she turned to see Applejack approaching at a full gallop.

“Twilight! You’re alright! Thank Celestia!” the farmer said, skidding to a halt next to them. “I heard the explosion from Sweet Apple Acres and came runnin’ once I saw the smoke. What happened?!”

“We don’t know,” Rarity replied. “Twilight just got back from her trip to Canterlot, so she wasn’t here.”

“Well somethin’ happened to cause all this,” Applejack pointed out. “Shouldn’t we check inside?”

Twilight slowly nodded, and started to walk toward her castle, with the other two falling in behind her.

As they approached the doors, Twilight realized that what she’d thought was snow was in fact bits of parchment, most of which were singed around the edges. Fearing for the state of her library and lab, she stepped around the fallen door, walked up the steps, and went inside.

A hazy film of smoke filled the air, making her eyes water. Above her, the chandeliers swung on their chains, still holding momentum from what must have been an explosion of considerable strength.

“Oh, this is such a dreadful mess!” Rarity exclaimed, coughing a few times. “And I see all the curtains I worked so hard to sew are positively ruined. How terrible!”

Sure, Rarity, the curtains are what really matter, and not my home, Twilight thought drily. She knew Rarity meant well, even if she was occasionally insensitive, but that didn't make the statement any less annoying.

“I reckon we might need to get Rainbow Dash and a few other pegasi here to help get all this smoke out of the castle,” Applejack added, using her hat to clear the air in front of her face. “I guess I’ll go find her once we figure out just what happened.”

"I'm not even sure where to start," Twilight admitted. "The smoke's mostly coming from the upstairs windows, but smoke rises, and there's a lot of high ceilings in here."

"Why don't we just start checking room by room then?" Rarity said.

They checked most of the downstairs rooms, all of which were undisturbed apart from the faint smell of smoke.

“The kitchen, maybe?” Applejack offered, as they closed the door to another bedroom. “Gas explosion?”

The kitchen appeared mostly untouched, apart from the remnants of sandwich making materials that had been left out. Twilight’s eyes narrowed.

“This place was clean when I left, and I was the last one out of here,” she said, swiping the piled crumbs off the counter with one hoof. “Somepony’s been here.”

Rarity and Applejack exchanged a glance.

“Ain’t been me, sugarcube,” Applejack said.

“Nor I,” Rarity replied. “Honestly, I’ve been so busy with dress orders that I’ve barely left the boutique!”

Twilight ignored them both, and left the kitchen, moving to climb the stairs. She was starting to have a hunch about what had happened, and if her hunch was right, there was going to be hell to pay.

One of the hallways, which Spike jokingly called Twilight Town, was where her bedroom, study, and laboratory were located. The door at the end, which led to the laboratory, was blackened with soot stains, and smoke was leaking out at the bottom.

Twilight teleported to the end of the hallway, and, with a shove from her magic, pushed the door open. Or down, rather – the door had been blown off its hinges, and hastily set back into the frame in an attempt to hide the damage. She stepped back to cough as a large cloud of thick smoke poured out of the room, adding to the smoke that was already in the hallway. Once it had dispersed somewhat, she stepped through, determined to find the cause of all this.

The lab was a disaster. Bookshelves had been blown over, experiments were wrecked, and the source of the raining parchment outside was made evident – her stacks of research notes had been pulverized, and were slowly being blown out the window by the blue pegasus attempting to fan some of the smoke outside.

“Rainbow Dash?” Applejack’s surprise was evident.

The pegasus pivoted in the air, her eyes widening.

“Oh…hey, Twilight!” Dash said, putting on a big smile. “I didn’t know you were back already. How was the trip?!”

Twilght’s eyes narrowed, and her nostrils flared. “What. Happened!?”

“Oh, I…uh…I just happened to be flying along, when I heard a big bang, and thought I’d come here to try and see what happened! Yeah!” The pegasus dropped to the floor, bringing one wing up to rub at the back of her head. “Good thing I got here when I did. I was able to get a lot of the smoke out already.”

“Rainbow Dash, your coat is positively filthy with soot and smoke,” Rarity pointed out. “And your mane is standing on end! Are you sure you weren’t in here?”

Dash laughed nervously. “Uh…why do you think that?”

"Well, there's a suspicious pegasus shaped outline of soot on the wall over there," Applejack pointed out. "Almost like somepony was blasted backward by something."

“That's because they were," Twilight said, having moved to the only still upright table in the room. "Somepony was trying to use my laser experiment heater to toast a sandwich, and it exploded!"

Dash’s eyes went wide as her lie was discovered. “Experiment heater? Is that what that's for?”

Twilight used her hoof to poke at the charred remains of the sub sandwich sitting in the wreckage of her laser experiment heater. As she touched it, the sandwich crumbled into a pile of dust, drawing another sneeze from Twilight, though this one sounded angry.

“Rainbow Dash, you know you’re not supposed to be in here when Twilight’s gone!” Applejack chided. “And you’re definitely not supposed to touch her stuff!”

“I’m sorry!” Dash cried. “I was just…look, I got hungry, and the line at the sandwich place was long, and I really wanted a sandwich, especially a toasted one.”

“And why didn’t you just use the oven?” Applejack asked.

“Look, I said I was sorry. Besides, I don’t know what happened! I’ve seen Twilight use it to warm up stuff before! It’s so much faster than the oven, and I just didn’t want to wait!”

Twilight turned to look at Rainbow Dash, her expression flat.

“Yes, Rainbow,” she began. “I do use the laser heater to warm up my coffee from time to time. But you forgot one important thing.” She levitated the heater's broken control panel up to eye level, pointing at a switch with “Warm” on the top, and “Superheat” on the bottom.

“You have to hit this switch first,” she said, giving it a now-pointless press to move it back to “Warm”.

Dash stared at it for several seconds with dawning recognition.

“Oh,” she said. “Well, where were you five minutes ago!?”

Twilight's mane and tail began to move, as if blown by an invisible breeze. Her breathing quickened, and her eyes started to glow.

"Uh, Dash?" Applejack started to step back, pulling Rarity along with her.

"Twilight...we can talk about this, right? Buddy?" Rainbow Dash put on a hopeful grin, though her eyes were nervous.

"Dash, run!" Applejack shouted, just as Twilight burst into flame.

Dash blasted away, a rainbow trail leading out the window as she made a break for it.

"RAINBOW DASH! GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT!" Twilight shouted, flying after the fleeing pegasus.

As Twilight and Rainbow Dash proceeded to recreate the battle with Tirek outside, Applejack turned to Rarity.

"So, uh...do you know where she keeps her broom?"