My little Tavi

Soon I was at the front yard. Sam had already heard my foot steps from far away. He had stood up to greet me, his tail wagging behind him with excitement. Suddenly, I wonder if ponies do the same thing too, wagging their tail when they are happy. I tried to picture Octavia wagging her tail to come greet me, and I almost burst out in laughter.

I have been in such a good mood for such a long time, it felt strange to arrange my facial muscles into a smile. Sam must have felt it too. He bounced around enthusiastically and ran over to sniff me. I wanted to bend down to pat his head, but then I realized that my hands were a bit full at the moment. I smiled and said, "In a second, Sam." and walked towards the door. I couldn't reach for my keys without dropping something, so I knocked on the door gently.

Knock knock knock.

I waited for a little, but there was no reply. I waited for a little and knocked again, but it didn't look like Octavia was home.

I was confused. The market trip didn't take that long, so she had no reason to be worried about me. I looked around the house. The windows were still intact, the doors locked. There was no sign of a break-in. So why wasn't she answering the door?

Suddenly I realized the reason and I laughed at my own stupidity. Of course. Octavia is a smart girl, and she knew better than opening the door without knowing who was really behind it. I looked up at the window of the master bedroom, the only place in the house where you were able to see the front door. And sure enough, I saw a gray shadow peeking behind the curtains, watching me from above.

"It's all right, it's just me." I gave the biggest wave I could manage without dropping everything I was holding and said. The shadow disappeared behind the curtains. Moments later I heard the door unlock and Octavia appeared behind it blushing slightly.

"Sorry... I was afraid to opened the door... I didn't know it was you."

"Actually, keep that up. Don't let people know that you are here."

She smiled with relief, and her attention turned to what I was carrying,"Here, I can help." She leaned forward and opened her mouth. I was confused about what she was trying to do at first, but quickly I realized, right, no hands.

I held out one of my grocery bags and she bit down on the handle of the plastic bag, holding it gently between her teeth. Then she turned and we walked towards the kitchen together to put the food in the fridge.

We started placing food into the fridge. I can't help but admire how agile Octavia was. She was able to take things out of the plastic bags with just a nudge of her muzzle, and with a little flick she would pick them up with her teeth and carry them over to the open fridge. Then she would stretched out her neck and let go of the food, letting it fall gently into place. I stood there watching her, amazed at how experienced she was at this.

She noticed my gaze, "Is... is there something wrong?"

"Oh nothing, it's just... you are really good at that."

"At what?" She seemed confused.

"At... moving around without using your hand... hooves... well, fingers. I mean, I can not imagine myself living through a day with my hands tied into a fist."

"Fingers?"

I lifted up my hand and wiggled it in front of her, "These little stick things. We human use them to pick up things and stuff."

"Like a claw?"

"Sorta... but it's not sharp or anything."

She started at my hand for a while, looking interested, "So... kind of like a monkey's paw?"

"Yeah."

Her face lit up with curiosity, which confused me. Hadn't she seen plenty of hands since she'd been around? I mean, even thought this town was sorta deserted, there were still plenty of people with hands walking around. Or had whoever locked her up kept her THAT well shut in? Not even a glimpse of this world or even himself?

"So do you still remember what your kidnapper looks like?"

I regretted my words as soon as they slipped from my lips. How dumb was I to ask her about things she didn't want to tell me? Those were obviously painful memories that she avoided to mention, and asking her about it? I looked up and our eyes meet. She seemed stunned. Of course.

"I... I am so sorry, I didn't mean to... just forget it. You don't have to tell me. I was just thinking maybe if I know what he looked like, I could... find out who he is and avoid him."

"Oh. Sorry but the only time I saw his face was when he picked me up, and I was too disoriented to remember anything. After that as soon as he got me home he locked me up in a dark cage and I never caught a glimpse. Sorry I couldn't help."

"It's all right, never mind about that then."

I gazed outside the window, it was quite a sunny day. Suddenly, an idea struck me that might make up for my sudden and rude question.

"Hey, wanna go outside for a bit?"

Her face lit up with excitement, but it disappeared almost immediately, "We can't, I would get you in so much trouble if anyone sees me."

She had a good point, but I wasn't planning on just strolling down the main street with her running by my side. I was thinking letting her have some fun in the backyard. I have never taken care of it, and naturally it's filled with weed and wild flowers, but at least it's directly under the sun. Sure if anyone got into the neighbor's house they would have a clear view of my backyard, but it had been vacant for so long it's barely a problem comparing to the temptation to see Octavia smile. It was not really against the law to break into abandoned houses, and through years of scavenging those house are mere empty shells that no one would bother entering again.

I waved at Octavia to signal her to follow me. I reached the slide door that leads to the backyard and pulled it open to the side.

"It isn't much but at least it's outside." I said with a smile and walked outside. Octavia followed me right afterwards.

The sun was big and bright in the sky, so bright that I had to block some of the light with my hand and narrow my eyes to not get blinded. I looked around. It was still all messy and untidy, but it had a nature feeling to it. The neighboring houses were quiet and dark as usual. Looks like the coast is clear.

"There. I'll be right back." I went inside and grabbed two chairs. With some effort I moved through the slide door and placed them down on an open spot to the side, facing the sun. Then I went across the house to the other side where the front door was located. I turned the door handle and whistle at Sam, who sprung up with excitement and sprinted towards me.

"Here boy! Come, let's have some fun."

Sam barked happily and sprinted to the corner of the lawn where his toys were hidden. He picked up an old, dirty tennis ball and held it between his teeth. It reminded me of Octavia earlier and I can't help but imagine her playing fetch with me, and I chuckled at the idea of her sprinting after a ball and bring it back to me with her mouth.

Sometimes when I was feeling alone, I would play with Sam. He was a good friend, always enthusiastic and joyful. Playing fetch with him was one of my favorite things to do. He seemed especially found of this ball, and would bounce in excitement when I held it in my hand to beg me to throw it. We played outside as well as in the backyard, and it would take my mind off whatever was troubling me for at least an hour.

Knowing the routine, Sam walked straight towards the backyard. He stopped at the sight of Octavia, eyes fixed right on her. And then he turned to me as if he was asking for permission. I smiled and nodded.

He immediately sprinted at Octavia who had already settled down on one of the chairs. Her hind legs were folded neatly under her and her body was leaned against the back of the chair. She was startled by the sight of Sam charging at her first, but soon she smiled and held out a hoof to pat his head.

Sam raised his neck high to accept the patting, closing his eyes and enjoying every time her hoof ran across his head. I have read about the fact that Octavia used to play Cello in the royal orchestra, which I imagined must be a very delicate and high position. At first I was slightly worried if she had any trouble with animals, but it seemed like she was fine with them.

Sam seemed to have had enough petting. He jumped forward and rubbed himself against Octavia's chair, and then he stood up on two legs, placing one of his front paw on the chair and dropped the tennis ball in Octavia's lap.

"Urg...Jerry? What do I do...?" Octavia turned to me and said, her voiced mixed with confusion and a slice of panic.

All right I guess Octavia was not too familiar with animals, at least not dogs. I leaned against the door frame and smiled, "Just throw it, he wants to play fetch. Oh, make sure don't get it over the fence though. He really likes that ball."

Octavia looked down at the ball. She seemed troubled. I wanted to ask what's wrong, but after the last incident I learned my lessons and decided to think before I spit out words, and quickly I realized why. Of course, it's not quite sanitary for her to hold something in her mouth that were in a dog's moments before. She didn't have hands like mine and there is no other way for her to throw the ball. I once again felt the urge to punch myself for my stupidity.

"Ah sorry, here, I got it."

I walked over and picked up the tennis ball with my hand, trying my best to ignore the fact that I was reach towards Octavia's warm, soft belly. Sam lolled out his tongue and bounced in excitement, spinning in circles. Eventually I threw the ball forward after a couple fake ones, and Sam jumped and went after it. The ball flew in an nice arc before it landed on the grass in the far corner of the backyard. It bounced once and before it landed the second time, Sam had caught up to it and with one quick swoop of his jaw, caught the ball firmly in his mouth. He turned and sprinted towards me, tail wagging and head raised high up in the air as if he was asking for praises, which I gave generously.

"Good boy!"

I sat down in the empty chair next to Octavia, who was looking at me, amused. Sam reached me and placed his front paws on my knees, dropping the ball in my lap. He then quickly got off the chair and started bouncing around, eager for next round.

I threw the ball again and Sam went after it. Octavia gazed at his fluffy tail wagging around, and then she looked up at the sky.

"Beautiful day, isn't it?"

"Yeah, it had been a while since.. SAM! HERE BOY!"

Sam had stopped dead in his track, the tennis ball fell right in front of him. His ears were perked up like small tents on the top of his head, and his vision was fixed on something. Perhaps it was another squirrel or something. The last thing I need right now is for Sam to show hostility towards some nature life right in front of Octavia.

Sam ignored me and kept still, so I called again. He still didn't move, but one of his left ear turned towards me, which was a sign that his attention had shifted towards me somewhat. I sighed and got up from my chair. The only thing to take his mind of whatever caught his attention was to play his other favorite game, which was wrestling. I sprinted towards him. My footsteps made him turn his head, and before he could do anything, I had grabbed his body and brought him down. Not hard of course, I simply shoved him off his feet, all four of them, and he landed on the soft grass.

He immediately got up and tried to bite me. I dodged it and started running away, and he barked and started chasing me. I started circling around the small backyard with Sam right on my non-existing tail. I was definitely out of shape, because in seconds Sam had caught up to me. He jumped and knocked me to the side, which made me lose my balance and rolled into the tall grass facing up. He then proceed to jump on top of me, his front paws landed on my chest, pinning me on the ground with his weight. His groaned and snared as if he was really attacking me, but we both knew that it's just a game. Octavia however, seemed to be quite concerned. I looked to the side and saw her at the edge of her seat, her eyes fixed on both of us.

I laughed heartily as Sam nibbled at one of my fingers, assuring her that there is no real danger. I haven't been this relaxed for a long time. The sun was really warm, and the smell of dirt and grass filled my nostril. I laid there panting from the sprinting and tackling with Sam next to me, who was pretty tired as well. I can tell by the way his chest was moving up and down as he pants, and soon he laid down on the grass to my right, his head resting on my stomach.

I heard the sound of grass shuffling. I could tell that it was Octavia walking towards us from the way the grass was being stepped on. Within seconds, her head appeared in my vision, blocking the sun in my face. She was leaning over me, looked down at my face.

"You all right?"

"Yeah..." I smiled, panting, "Just need to catch my breath. I am way out of shape."

She smiled and laid down to my left, her front hooves folded under her chest. A gentle breeze started the blow through this warm sunny day, bringing some chill and refreshing air. She inhaled deeply and raised her head high, enjoying the smell of fresh grass and flowers. Her mane was flowing in the wind, rising and falling like the waves of a river. It took some effort to try to stop myself from running my finger through those beautiful silky hair.

"You've got quite a nice backyard." She said with a smile.

"Really? I honestly did nothing to it and just let nature do its job." I was being honest. I never see the difference between weed and grass. To me, anything green is natural, and natural is good.

There was a long pause when neither of us spoke, but it didn't feel awkward. In fact, I was afraid that by speaking, I would break this beautiful moment of complete peace and quiet.

"I was a cellist back then." Finally, Octavia spoke slowly as if there were something on her mind. I knew she needed someone to talk to, so I simply used my elbow to push myself upwards to show that I am listening. Sam moved his head toward my right arm. He turned around and laid on his back. He nudged my side with his muzzled, clearly begging for some rubbing. I placed my palm on the soft fur of his chest and scratched. He closed his eyes and wagged his tail, enjoying it.

"I started playing Cello when I was just a filly. It was everything I cared about. I didn't have any friends. Or rather, I never bothered to make any, since I didn't see how the number of friends could help me with my music. My only friend was called Vinyl Scratch. Believe it or not, She is actually a DJ." She smiled, her face blushing, "Must be weird, right? I mean, I play classical music and she loves electronic music. We are so different. But somehow, we were as close as friends can get. To be honest, I wasn't a very likable pony. I was not very social like the others, and I knew little to nothing besides music theory and how to work a bow on a Cello." She smiled, but even I could hear the bitterness in her voice. But I didn't interrupt.

She paused, collecting her thoughts, and then she continued. "Then I've had a chance to move from Ponyville to Canterlot, where all the upper-class ponies lived. It was one of the biggest decisions of my life, and being young and arrogant, I decided to leave everything behind and went after it. My parents, my home, my only friend... everything, just to grasp my own dream of becoming the best Cellist in the world. But I was foolish. I have gained money, fame, and career success, but I felt like my insides are getting emptier each day."

"I was terrified, thinking that my talent had faded away. You see..." She turned towards me and pointed towards the purple soprano clef mark on her side with her hoof, "From where I come from, each pony have a cutie mark that defines who they are. They appear on you once you have found your talent, and almost always it's something that you will be devoted to for the rest of your life. My cutie mark appeared rather early, and I knew I was destined to be a musician. But after that, I wasn't so sure anymore. I would have trouble going to sleep night after night as nightmares haunted me. I would dream about suddenly losing my grip on my bow and drop it in front of the audience, forgetting to tune my cello and every note was off tune, or turned around and suddenly my cutie mark had disappeared. I was falling apart, and it was obvious. It shows in my music, in the notes that I perform. No pony wanted to listen to broken music. Eventually, I couldn't take it any more. I resigned from my position and decided to go back to Ponyville, where all my friends and family are, and that's when I found out that Vinyl... had already passed away."

She shuttered as she said that name. I can't even begin to imagine how painful it must had been for her. It must have been a huge blow, losing her only friend. I tried to think of something to say to comfort her, but nothing seems to be appropriate. She had been through so much that anything I say would seem pale and fake. Comparing myself to her, all my problems seemed so tiny and irrelevant.

The only thing I could manage is, "I am so sorry."

She shook her head, "It was my own fault for not seeing what was right in front of me. I had everything I could have ever wanted in Ponyville, but I gave it all up and went after my own dreams. Only that it was simply a beautiful bubble that popped as soon as I thought I had it in my grasp, and I was left with nothing."

"My parents had always loved me. They had tried to persuade me to stay, but I was so naive and rebellious, I packed my things over night and left without even saying goodbye. I couldn't bring myself to even talk to them after I went back, especially mother. I could see the sorrow in her eyes, and it broke my heart. I saw them around the corner once, and I could not believe how much older they had gotten during the time I was gone. It was all my fault, and I was such a coward that I couldn't even work up the courage to face them and tell them how sorry I was."

"And then things started to go downhill. No pony knew when, where, or how it happened, it was just like everything started falling apart. The Mayor took some measures, such as rationalizing the food and supplies to make sure everypony can stay alive and healthy, but even then things were going out of control. Equestria, the once beautiful and peaceful country, was breaking apart under the tension. Before I knew it, I was buying shots after shots of whiskey with the little gold I earned at Canterlot, and drinking every single drop of it. The rest... well, you know it already,"

I felt something brushing against my right hand. Turning my head, I saw Sam withdrawing his head from underneath my palm. He walked over to Octavia and lied down next to her in the exact same post, and rested his head next to Octavia's left hoof.

That smooth bastard. I hate to admit that I was for a moment, jealous of how simple he made it out to be, comforting her without even using words.

Octavia smiled a little and ran her left hoof through Sam's coat, who narrowed his eyes in pleasure. "Sorry that you had to hear me ranting like this. I was just getting a bit... sentimental. Please don't mind. I just... needed to get something off my chest."

Something deep inside me triggered. I realized I might be the first living creature she had really talked to for a while, and that along made me feel special in a... special way. I patted her head like how I would pat Sam when he is feeling down, and I said as joyful as I could manage: "Well, you shouldn't worry too much. We will find you a way home, and everything will be fine. I knew it."

She bit her lips and turned her head. "It will never be the same ever again. Vinyl cannot come back from the dead. I have... messed up bad. I am not even sure if I wanted to go back."

"Of course you do. They are your family. I bet they have forgiven you already and will be glad that you went back to them."

"I doubt that. I was never the good daughter they wanted me to be. I was just so stubborn and selfish."

"No you are not. Sure you have made a mistake, but you can't just run away from it forever." Again, words slipped from my lips before I gave it some serious consideration. What the hell was I doing, talking so harsh on her? She had her reasons, and who was I to tell HER what to do?

"I'm sorry." It's got to be at least fifty times today I had to say that phrase because of my own idiocy.

Octavia shook her head. "I know that, but what use is there talking about this now? Besides, I like it here, staying with you."

This caught me completely off guard and there was no way I could stop the blood from rushing to my face. Of course I knew she can't possible mean it that way, that she was happy to be with me. She was just glad that she was found by someone decent and not locked up and treated like some rare object; but that still doesn't stop me from feeling glad about being accepted as a friend. Gladly Octavia's attention had shifted to Sam who had rolled over and begged for a belly rub like he usually do when getting petted. Octavia buried her hoof in Sam's soft fur and rubbed hard on Sam's belly, who wagged his tail with enough force to start a tornado.

I looked to the side and saw that the sun was almost setting. I pushed myself into a sitting position and tapped Octavia on her shoulder to get her attention. "Well it's getting dark. I am gonna get inside and make dinner."

"Can I help?"

I gave it consideration and shrugged. "Sure. Come on in."

She seemed happy with my response, and I was happy too. It would take her mind off her past for a while.

She stood up and Sam rolled back onto his belly, looking at us as we walked back into the house. I waved at him to come inside, but it seemed like he preferred to spend the night in the backyard.

"Jerry." Octavia called my name.

"What is it?"

"Thank you for listening to me. You are a really nice guy."

I turned around and found her facing me with the most heart-warming smile I have ever seen in my entire life. I stood in place as I felt her gaze upon me with her amethyst eyes. I have to turn and avoid her gaze to stop myself from blushing again.

"Come on, let's get started on the dinner. I am starving."

The things I would give to just make her smile like that again.