Pinkamena Diane Pie: Consultant Detective

by Time Pony Victorious

Rating: teen
Tags: Romance, Adventure, Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Alternate Universe
Length: 60093

Pinkie uses her amazing deductive abilities to solve crimes, leaving everypony stumped.

The eccentric pink party pony, Pinkie Pie, plays detective with her lowly loyal assistant, Twilight Sparkle, solving crimes and having a good old time. From thieves, to missing ponies, stolen cutie marks, and insidious plots, there will be nothing Pinkie can't handle!

Published 2012-12-07 16:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2014-06-10 19:57:49 UTC

The Mare With Two Smiles

The construction crew worked late into the night. It didn’t really bother her, but most of her animals were nocturnal and the noise had disrupted their sleep cycle. Although White Tail Woods was in the outskirts of Ponyville, the small village was so compact and silent that the distance hardly mattered; the discordant noise of deforestation was heard even from here.

Fluttershy looked out of her cottage and toward the west, she could see the light from the construction crews, and she sighed sadly. She was one of the few that had expressed disapproval in this construction, and although her voice was soft and nearly unheard, she had expressed it as best she could.

They had insisted, however, that this would bring progress. That this would advance the rustic charm of Ponyville and make it take one step forward toward higher civilization like Manehattan. Fluttershy didn’t agree. Taking down the natural land to erect ugly buildings was in no way progress, it was just a step backwards. They were reverting back to a time where tribal groups produced large poles to their gods, the only difference is they at least respected nature.

The honey-blonde pegasus frowned. But what could she do? Her voice wouldn’t be loud enough to impede their progress, she wasn’t exactly the most well-known, or well-liked maybe, pony here, so she had little political influence. All she could do was stand by the sidelines and watch helplessly, as per usual.

Still, that never stopped her from looking at this sad scene.

Every night since the construction began, Fluttershy woke up around the same time and stared out her window to watch it; to watch White Tail Woods shrink little by little.

Some help she was, right?

Fluttershy’s ears twitched as she heard shuffling. She wasn’t afraid and hardly reacted to the noise. She knew who it was.

“What’s wrong?” a sleepy feminine voice asked from behind.

“The forest,” Fluttershy answered, “They’re going to bring everything down…”

“You could always send that letter to the Mayor,” the voice suggested, “You’ve been holding on to it for, what, a week?”

“But what if it was rejected? What if the Mayor got mad at me? What if-“

“Well, you’ll never know if you don’t try,” chided the voice.

Fluttershy remained silent for a few moments.

“How about this,” the voice started cheerfully, “Since I’m only in Ponyville for a few more days, how about I take a look into this?”

Fluttershy turned around, concern glinting in her eyes as she waved her hooves passionately, “Oh, no. I couldn’t possibly ask you to-“

“It is hardly an imposition,” the voice promised, “But. I’ll only do it on one condition.”

Fluttershy swallowed nervously, half-expecting the condition and yet still shivered with some primal sense of excitement. “What?”

“Come back to bed.”

~--~

From the personal journal of Twilight Sparkle: Head Librarian of the Golden Oaks Library, Princess Celestia’s Personal Pupil

"So, did he apologize?" Came the familiar cheerful, high-pitch voice in tandem with an inquisitive and calculative cadence rang from the shop not a second after I stepped inside. With barely one hoof inside the door, I sighed aloud and pushed through entirely to see, unsurprisingly enough, Pinkie Pie at the counter, quietly considering a few dozen cupcakes as a small snack.

Her question, random or not, was as much as a surprise as her eyeing the treats that Sugarcube Corner had to offer. What was a surprise, however, were my naïve expectations to her response.

"Did who apologize?" I countered, trotting my way to the counter. Quietly, I levitated my saddlebag beside the register and turned to face the impassive, indifferent pink pony.

"The colt that tried to flirt with you, but spilled his drink all over you," she stated matter-of-factly.

Quickly, and instinctively, I glanced at my being to see any signs of spillage. My blouse was impeccable albeit a little wrinkled; there was nary a sign of a mess. Skeptically, I raised a single accusatory eyebrow at Pinkie who managed to detach herself from the treats long enough for a sparing glance.

Pinkie Pie smiled her trademark smile, seemingly unable to decipher my questioning stare.

"Pinkie Sense?" I guessed.

She shook her head. "Nope. It isn't hard Twilight, you just have to look very carefully!"

Finally, she decided on her treat, taking out a simple, yet delicious, pink cupcake that matched her coat perfectly. She took a single bite out of it, leaving me to wait several agonizing seconds for her response to an ambiguous explanation.

"On your right shoulder, there is some evidence of grape juice being spilled on there. But, more so, there is a lot more on your mane." It was simple and concise, but it didn't explain everything.

"How did you know it was a colt? I could've just spilled it myself."

"Ah, excellent silly question my lowly assistant. Somepony as careful and meticulous as you wouldn't carelessly spill anything over yourself. Besides, at the angle the spill is at, it is physically impossible for you to have caused it. It was obviously done by a pony taller than you, a colt then, how do I know that? Easy. You smell of cheap cologne, obviously not from a mare or from yourself, has to be a colt that was practically all over you for you to stink of his scent. What's more, I can tell he was flirting with you; you have a piece of paper sticking out of your saddlebag with a hastily written phone number on it. He obviously must have disappointed you, because it was stuffed away in an almost inconsiderate manner."

If I wasn't here witnessing this, I don't think I would have believed it. However, despite this rather intricate display of opposing her personality, I still wasn't very surprised. Trying to decide what Pinkie would say next is the real challenge, as somepony like her is impossible to read; she would either randomly talk about how clocks are round or would go into incredible detail to explain my entire life story through small details.

Pinkamena Diane Pie, the improbable and immaculate Ponyville detective. I, Twilight Sparkle, was her lowly assistant.

"What had disappointed you, however, was not him spilling his drink," continued Pinkie, "You found the act a little cute. No, it must have been his interests in books. You of course went to your book club tonight, judging by the amount of books you brought in your bags, too easy. But, observe some of the books." Grinning, she went over to my saddlebags and pulled out three books. I instantly recognized them, “Contemporary Philosophy, Unicorn Magic: A History Of, and Magical Mysteries. All written by unicorns, which lead me to believe your date-"

"Not a date," I corrected.

"Is an earth pony or a pegasus; earth pony is more likely, judging by the stain I'd say he has a bulky build, not one suited for the lightweight pegasi."

"And how, pray tell, did you deduce that?"

"Easy. The books are wet."

Another ambiguous answer. I shrugged, conveying my indifference to that piece of information, "What difference does that make?"

"It makes all the difference my lowly assistant. You care for all of your books immensely; you aren't the type to get them dirty or messed up in any manner. But, they're wet. It was raining earlier, admittedly, but if the books were safely in your bags they would be dry. So, you took them out of the bag, into the rain, to either read or prove a point; you wouldn't read three books at once, especially in the rain, so the second option is more likely."

Right so far, I gestured with my hoof for her to continue.

"He probably said something about unicorns that didn't suit you. Something discrediting them, so, you argued. And to prove your point you used those books, all written about, and by, unicorns. He probably dismissed them without providing any proof, you angrily exited the scene, shown by your muddy hooves, and have come here for some comfort food."

To that, Pinkie happily pulled out a cupcake and handed it to me. Levitating it to my mouth, I gingerly took a bite, I hated when she was right.

"But, that isn't what disappointed you, is it? You don't mind another intellectual to talk to, even if he disagrees with you. In fact, you find that a challenge. How he disappointed you was his rudeness and lack of manners. He didn't bother holding out an umbrella for you while you stand in the rain. Which actually answers my initial question, no, he didn't apologize huh."

Grumbling an agreement to her deduction, I chewed the cupcake sullenly. Ever since the incident with the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness, Pinkie Pie has been on a roll with this detective business. Still, for as long as I have known her I still find it mind-boggling that Pinkie, of all ponies, can be a great detective! The mare who is trying to wrap her tongue around her head being some sort of genius?

It was a little disappointing honestly, I mean, at least I have read some mystery novels to be fluent in the detecting language; but my deductions are never as fast and as accurate as Pinkie's. I usually serve to be the everypony's foil, the medium in which Pinkie's jumbled information is conveyed coherently.

"Did you ever notice how our muzzles never stick out properly? It sorta just rounds off smoothly, weird huh?" Pinkie laughed at her observation, making me question once more if this is really the great detective sitting in front of me.

With Winter Wrap Up all done with, spring has officially gone underway and the pegasi are quick to let us know. The week after Winter Wrap Up has been filled with sunny days immediately followed by downpours. The dreadful weather had, naturally, dampened my mood. But, no matter how much I talk to the weather team, they were adamant in keeping up this inclement weather. As a result, I feared a random downpour occurring in my own bathroom!

Pinkie was the only one unaffected. She would run out there, like a wild dog and enjoy the rain, rolling around in the mud like an uncouth possessed mare. I could do without the rain, thank you very much.

It also could potentially wreck the opening of the new museum. Ponyville, the rustic, backwater village, was getting a brand new museum courtesy of Princess Celestia, tonight; where marvelous treasures from pony history would be displayed. I had heard that Star Swirl's staff would be displayed there as well, but that wasn't what made it amazing. Apparently, the tiara of Princess Platinum would be unveiled there as well.

There was never any artifact from Princess Platinum's kingdom ever uncovered until now; I thought that they were lost in the flames of the dragon that attacked. To know that there was something from that terrible disaster that survived was amazing! I had wanted to check it out as soon as possible, but the aforementioned rain played an ominous foreboding over it.

Hopefully, the skies would be clear that day.

"Twilight, you know you have a funny look on your face when you're doing soliloquys," giggled Pinkie, "Oh, and can you answer the door for me please?"

I glanced at the door, which was as silent as a church mouse. There wasn't anypony out there. I looked back at Pinkie.

"Uh, Pinkie there isn't anypony at the door-"

A loud crash followed by a rainbow colored blur rushing past me stopped my declaration mid-sentence. Another crash exploded in the back of the kitchen, followed by cursing and a few pans falling to the ground in a particularly flippant manner.

I didn't need Pinkie Sense to guess who it was.

As expected, Rainbow Dash popped out of the kitchen, slightly dazed but fully alert when she spotted Pinkie. Rainbow Dash was a pegasus of the Royal Guard, though initially she wanted to be a Wonderbolt, after averting the theft of Princess Celestia's gown she was made into the Princess's personal guard and, by proxy, the lieutenant of the Royal Guard.

She usually lived in Cloudsdale or in Canterlot, depending on her job situation; she only really stuck around Ponyville for Applejack. It wasn't hard to guess why.

"Pinkie," growled RD, "What have you got on her? Anything yet?"

In accordance to my title, Pinkie Pie is a consulting detective; no, scratch that, she's the consulting detective. The very first of her kind! She takes in odd jobs by average ponies or by the Royal Guard or even by royalty, you'd be surprised how often Celestia needs help locating her phoenix pet, Philomenia.

But, I hadn't known what Rainbow was asking about. Although I was technically her partner and chronicler, I wasn't in the loop of many the cases Pinkie would be involved in. This must have been urgent however; I've never seen Rainbow so agitated since that cliffhanger in Daring Do and The Cove of Candles.

"Nope!" Pinkie answered delightfully, "The trail ran cold. Hehe, how could a trail run cold? If it's running, shouldn't it stay warm? Speaking of which, can a trail really run?"

"Pinkie!" Dash interrupted, "What do you mean the trail ran cold?"

"That's what I'm saying!"

"I mean," the pegasus grumbled angrily, I could only sympathize with her at this point, "How could you lose track of her?"

"Uh, excuse me," I stepped forward, everypony looking at me now with impatience and unbridled happiness, strange mix I know, "Who's she?"

"Twilight?" Dash remarked as if suddenly recognizing my existence, "Why are you here? Did I miss the book club? Please don't tell me I missed the book club!"

"No, no RD, the Daring Do book club is next week."

Rainbow sighed in relief. I understood why, a new series of Daring Do books were released recently. Of course it isn't by the same author but it is good all the same. Rainbow and I picked up the book a while back and were hooked, though I'm not sure about Mare Do Well being involved, a bit dull if you ask me.

"Anyways," Dash continued, "She is quite a dangerous criminal. Not even the Royal Guard are able to track her down. I asked Pinkie a while back for a little help, but so far we haven't gotten anything."

She glared at Pinkie as if this were all her fault, the earth pony just smiled in response.

"Come on slow-pokes, I'll show you who she is!" Pinkie declared, hopping up the stairs and leading to her room.

I must admit I was intrigued, not only by this criminal but Pinkie's interest in her. Pinkie didn't have much of an interest in criminals or in crime-fighting in general, she just enjoys puzzles, keeping her mind busy. That's why she's either memorizing everything about everypony, running around throwing parties or bursting into spontaneous song and dance.

We were led into her room upstairs; I didn't know what she could show me that I haven't seen before. I've been to her room numerous times, what could she possibly have that requires are attendance there?

She opened her door and stepped right in, but the sight of it all just blew my mind.

"I see you have been keeping track of her…" Dash muttered, slightly impressed.

All over the room were dozens, maybe even hundreds of newspaper clippings, photographs, and even maps laid out with countless strings of thick red wire, connecting one article to another in an almost infinite chart, tracking somepony that must be worth all of this effort.

"Just… how dangerous is this pony?" I asked stepping under a string and into the center of the room.

"Not very," admitted Pinkie, "She's just a very crafty pony."

"But what does she do that attracts your attention?"

"She is only ever referred to as The Mare-"

"By whom?"

"-And she is an amazing thief. Conducting numerous thefts all throughout Equestria. She is impossible to track, she has countless aliases and I have never seen her true identity. I've only encountered her once in Manehattan where she attempted to burgle some diamonds by a visiting Countess. She escaped me though."

She pointed at a picture above her bed, "That's her in one of her aliases: Madam Le Flour."

I looked at the picture and was graced by an absolutely stunning mare. She was a pure white earth pony with dazzling golden eyes and a curled blue mane, she wore an elegant red dress with so many frills the fabric looked like it had a mind of its own. She looked like she was five years my senior.

I didn't understand it though, if Pinkie had a picture of her why not go on that?

"Pinkie, you have her picture, why not use that track her?" I asked, voicing my concern.

"It's a disguise silly," she said simply, "I told you, she has a great number of aliases and, no doubt, a number of disguises. Or, alternatively, there isn't one Mare, but multiple ones."

"What makes you say that?"

She pointed to several pictures pinned up opposite of me. They featured an earth pony, a unicorn and even a pegasus. Were those also the Mare? No, impossible, no matter how good you are you can't disguise yourself as all three pony races!

"Wait, but why are you so interested RD?" I asked, turning to the pegasus.

"This thief has threaten to steal several of the princess's personal treasures," she explained passionately, she was extremely loyal, it seems, to her job, "She nearly got away with one of the princess's evening gowns, but I had managed to thwart her. However, I don't want to take any chances with this new museum."

An interesting thought, certainly, that this mare has gained the attention of both Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie. Rainbow was a stubbornly proud pegasus, generally refusing the help of any other pony and preferring to do things herself, the fact that she is enlisting the help Equestria's only consulting detective was a feat in itself.

And the fact that my friend, Pinkie, was already intensively focused on this mare and had dedicated plenty of her time and energy into finding her was a feat as well, seeing as the hyperactive pink mare never focused on anything that wasn't sugary or glazed. This even gained my curiosity and attention, just who was this mare causing all of this trouble?

"The Mare has already decided that she was stealing Princess Platinum's tiara tonight at the grand opening," explained Pinkie, "Lookie at what she wrote."

She pulled out a card from one of her drawers and laid it out in front of us.

The card was of a simple eggshell color, nothing remarkable about it except the lettering. Written in exceedingly fancy golden text was:

"'Headwear isn't my style, but a Mare has to indulge herself sometimes.'" I read aloud.

It was obviously typed out, the font was literally immaculate, there is no way anypony would be able to have that type of penmanship. At the best a unicorn could produce something like this; even I can't write in such a manner, an earth pony or pegasus would have an even tougher time.

"Nothing to go on," I admitted.

"Really?" Pinkie asked, suddenly in front of me, eyes wide with anticipation and curiosity, "Nothing at all, Twi?"

Stepping back, a bit startled at her sudden enthusiasm, I readily defended myself, stuttering over my words like a filly, "O-of course not! There's nothing at all, I mean, the letters were obviously typed but that proves nothing!"

Pinkie shook her head, but she was still smiling at me, "Oh Twi, sometimes you're so funny. Pretending like you can't see anything."

Rolling my eyes, I began to get a little offended, "I'm not pretending. You can't get anything from this card alone."

"You can get a lot out of it, Twi; for example, I know she's probably high in status, works with Canterlot elites, and is exceedingly well-educated." She explained simply, "Can't point out where she lives or works, though. That's the most troubling part about it."

She shrugged and turned toward her web of conspiracy, leaving Dash and I flabbergasted.

"Wait, wait, how did you figure all of that out?" I asked.

"Excellent silly question," Pinkie said, still paying attention to her arts and crafts project, "The answer is as simple as apple pie. Her penmanship is amazing, nopony would be able to replicate that with accuracy, but it isn't typed, can't be typed. Look at the how heavy she presses on the upward strokes of the 'h', 'l', 'd' and 'm', slight inconsistency within them, but enough to be noted. A unicorn is the only logical conclusion. The high status stems from its scent; it smells sweet, very classy perfume, one most likely sold in Canterlot, the classy center of Equestria. The fact that she works with those Canterlot elites is also simple, the card itself was used from the Canterlot Postal Services, same brand, same density."

As she explained this my mouth became more agape in shock, everything she was saying was so simple, the clues and hints were obvious as I take another look at it but would never have appeared there had Pinkie not explained anything. Unfortunately, this had not opened up many possibilities for me; I hadn't known a mare fitting that description.

"But, it's as you say," she continued, sighing, "There isn't anything to go on. The Mare is a master of disguise, she won't appear as herself."

"But still," Rainbow stepped forward, "We can pull off more information from the card. Let me take the card to the Canterlot lab and we can pull DNA off it."

"No time," Pinkie answered, heading to the door, "Besides, that doesn't matter."

"What do you mean? If we want to find her, it completely matters!" argued Rainbow.

"Silly Rainbow," Pinkie looked over her shoulder with a wide grin but clever eyes, "You've enlisted my help, which means, if you want, I'll just catch her tonight and you can do whatever you want to her and the card."

We followed the pink pony out of Sugarcube Corner, trying to get her to explain how she plans to capture this thief, but I knew the task would be impossible. Once Pinkie had her mind set on something, she would spend an endless amount of time focused on that task, absolutely silent and driven on that task; sometimes she would end up mute for weeks on end!

We hailed a cab and set out for the museum opening. We headed past Sweet Apple Acre and out of the rustic little town. The scenery morphed from the beautiful naturalistic view of trees, wide open skies, and the sweet scent of nature to a dull gray field in the middle of scenic nowhere. A huge majority of the Whitetail Woods was being torn down to make way for a small industrial area.

Optimistically, this could help Ponyville socially, and place us on the map! With hopes of a grand metropolis, one that would rival Manehattan, anything was possible. This museum was just the start. Although, I must admit, it had pained me to see a quarter of Whitetail Woods reduced to this gray, lifeless, empty field.

At the edge of the field, the very southern tip of Whitetail Woods, sat the museum. It was a grand building, bright gray marble glinted in the evening sky, columns of heroically depicted ponies burdening under the weight of the museum roof stood giant before us. The steps were nearly countless and there were already scores of ponies lined up to enter this exceptionally exclusive opening.

Much swagger abound, however, Pinkie strolled right past the line and up to the security. She was either extraordinarily confident or indifferent to the security pony trying to screen her. Before anything could get out of hoof, however, Rainbow stopped the pony from tackling Pinkie.

"She's with me," she told him, which hadn't eased his suspicions.

Walking up there I could hear the idle gossip of the townsfolk.

"Is that…?"

"Pinkamena?"

"Detective?"

"Oh, Celestia… her welcome wagon!"

She certainly knows how to make an impression. I had doubted there was anypony out there that hasn't heard of Pinkie Pie, who at day played an eccentric party pony and at night moonlighted as an equally eccentric detective. Suspicion would probably be aroused if the great Pinkie Pie would attend such a dull event that didn't feature excellent music or cake.

To play the act, however, of her more energetic, party-animal personality, a wide smile appeared on her face as she immediately violated the personal space of a poor mare; quickly asking if there were any refreshments and why there isn't any music playing.

A deadpan response came, explaining that this wasn't that type of party. Pouting the pink party pony trotted over to me and smiled, "The Mare is probably here," she told me.

I looked around at the crowd. There were an assortment of posh ponies, griffons, and even a kindly elderly donkey. None of them looked particularly suspicious, my expression of disbelief fared well against Pinkie's blissful smile, in tandem with Rainbow's frown, however, the earth pony decided to explain.

"She's a master of disguise," explained Pinkie simply, "Of course she'll be dressed up as anyone here. We just need to find out who."

"It'll be reasonable to count out the griffons," I remarked, "And potentially any stallions."

Though, it wouldn't be easy. There were still more than a few dozen of ponies here, all of them wearing clothing that hid their figure well, so it would be difficult to see anypony that was out of the norm, quite frankly.

"Maybe, my lowly assistant, but we shouldn't jump to conclusions without any information. I can't make any cake without any milk or sugar, after all!" grinned Pinkie, satisfied with her metaphor.

I was going to ask what cake had to do with this when a pony interrupted my thoughts, "Pinkie?" an excitable, cheerful voice called out. Turning, I saw a lovely unicorn in front of me, with a wide smile, white coat, electric blue hair with lighter blue highlights and big purple glasses obscuring her crimson eyes underneath.

Unlike the other ponies, she didn't wear any clothes, revealing her cutie mark: two bridged eighth notes.

Vinyl Scratch, a disc-jockey of some repute, though she prefers to go by her stage name "DJ PON-3", to her friends she is on a first name basis. A kind pony, albeit eccentric, though not as much as Pinkie. It was no wonder these two were friends, however; the famous DJ and the famous party pony/detective, a match made in heaven, really.

"Vinny!" Pinkie gushed, hugging the poor unicorn, who staggered back.

"I told you never to call me that, Pinny," Vinyl laughed, returning the hug.

"Oh, you know Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash," introduced Pinkie, gesturing to the two of us. She bowed toward me and Rainbow.

"The librarian and somepony from the royal guard?" guessed Vinyl.

"Lieutenant," corrected Rainbow.

"Sorry, sorry," amended Vinyl, "Your names don't exactly go around in the local nightclubs. Though, surprisingly enough, I heard your name floating around Canterlot,” she explained, looking at me with a quizzical, yet mysterious, smile.

"Along with Pinks, of course. You two are never seen apart," Vinyl remarked, "You're her… chronicler, right?"

I was going to offer my response, and offense at what she was suggesting, until Pinkie wrapped her leg around my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug.

"She's my bestest friend! The cutest, smartest, all around best pony!" she said with her traditional smile.

Vinyl giggled to my embarrassment, pushing up her glasses, revealing her bright red eyes.

"So, Pinks, what're you doing here? Didn't think this was your type of gig."

We trotted along as we spoke, moving from the lobby into one of the rooms. As we entered, there were plenty of ponies admiring the art. Treasures from faraway lands, paintings by famous ponies, and in the middle of the room stood a grand monument. A very large bronze statue of Princess Celestia standing heroically on a piece of earth, she had her leg stretched outward, her wings open, and a demure smile on her face, as if to say, "Yes, I raise the sun and moon. What of it?"

"Oh, you know, enjoying this party thingy. Though, it isn't much of a party," Pinkie frowned, "Not a lot of fun, just boring art stuff. Maybe if I get my special punch going, we could have some more fun!"

Vinyl rolled her eyes, making those crimson orbs spin hypnotically, "We don't need a repeat of the last Grand Galloping Gala, Pinks."

"I didn't know the princess could do that with a tuba!"

"Anyways," Vinyl interjected, cutting Pinkie off, "I'm not stupid Pinks. You, Equestria's greatest consulting detective, here with a lieutenant of the Royal Guard? It doesn't take… well, you, to figure things out. You're on a case, right?"

"That's classified information!" accused Rainbow, flying up to her face, "Why are you asking?"

"No reason to," smiled Vinyl, "You just gave me the answer."

Rainbow's cheeks colored pink briefly before her anger recovered her demeanor. However, before the pegasus could accuse Vinyl of being a spy, I stepped in.

"Yes, we're here investigating something," I answered diplomatically, "Probably nothing though. It's just a hunch."

Vinyl looked at me with some interest, as if I had grown horns spontaneously. Then when satisfied, she smiled again and dropped her shades, "Twilight Sparkle, you may not have known Pinkie for very long. But you'll come to learn that she doesn't do anything based on hunches."

With that, DJ PON-3 had left us.

"You know Vinyl well?" I asked Pinkie who seemed more interested in a bust of Princess Luna than answering my question.

"Yep, we go way back," she answered hastily, "I was the one who got her into music."

"Right, but-"

"Ooh, what's that?!" Quickly, she hopped away from me, evading the conversation.

"You won't get anything out of her," remarked Rainbow, "I'll go and line up my troops."

The pegasus flew off and I trotted toward Pinkie, trying to keep up with her weirdly fast pace.

"Pinkie," I called, trying to get her away from the thousand year old helmet of Commander Hurricane, "You don't find her a little suspicious? She's a unicorn, she could've easily written that note, and she works at Canterlot!"

"Nope!" she answered, giggling as she tried to put on the helmet. Levitating the cap away from her, I teleported in front of her to prevent her from going any further.

"Pinkie," I said, "You said it yourself. 'Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever that's left, no matter how improbable, must be the truth!'"

That was actually the abridged version, what she really said was, "If you take out the things that can't happen, then anything afterward, even if it is super-duper weird and doesn't make sense, is your answer!"

"You can't tell me that you, of all ponies, can't find her suspicious!" I argued.

Uncharacteristically, Pinkie's smile wavered, and, for a brief second, I swore I saw doubt in her eyes. In those bright light blue eyes that were filled with happiness and love, I saw plausible doubt. She didn't want to trust her instinct.

I stepped back, staggering almost as if someone had struck me. As I had never seen Pinkie doubt herself before, even at her most insane, Pinkie was always resolute and confident.

Embarrassed at my outburst, my interest fell to the floor as I nervously pawed at it, "O-oh," I squeaked out.

What was this feeling? Trepidation? Apprehension? I couldn't pinpoint it, I knew that she and Vinyl were close, on account of how they behaved, they went way back, perhaps even to fillyhood. Did I feel this way because I knew Pinkie's doubt came from her trust in Vinyl?

Her hoof patted my shoulder, and I looked up and saw her smile, her usual confident gleam in her eyes, "Don't you worry your little head. Auntie Pinkie will get this figured out!"

I wanted to complain that I was only a year younger than her, but said nothing and smiled instead.

Before I could offer my thoughts, the sounds of an old microphone being thoroughly tested filled the room. Over to the very right of the room, in front of the statue of Princess Celestia, stood a small podium where a grayish amber pony stood. This bespectacled mare had a strange bluish gray mane and tail, a kind smile, and a clever glint to her eyes.

She cleared her throat into the microphone to garner our attention, "Fillies and gentlecolts, welcome to the grand opening of Ponyville's first historic museum!"

Polite applause came, along with an overly enthusiastic cry that had asserted Ponyville had trumped all other rustic villages of about one hundred ponies.

"Yes, we would like to thank Colt Curator for financing this magnificent expense," Mayor Mare stepped to the side to gesture to a stallion behind her. His coat was chestnut brown, his hair of a darker shade of brown, he had a bored, indifferent expression but when the Mayor called his name, his eyes lit up briefly and a confident smile fell upon his face. When he walked up to the podium, I saw his cutie mark: three little dollar signs.

"Oh, please Mayor Mare, no need to thank me," he said with that brilliant smile, "I'm just happy to bring some culture to this backwater- er, or rather, to Ponyville. After all, you guys have so much room to spare."

Mayor smiled diplomatically then trotted off and struck up a conversation with Vinyl. Probably trying to get DJ PON-3 to perform sometime in Ponyville.

No one seemed to take offense to his words, and merely smiled and nodded as the stallion continued on with his little speech. Speaking about how he grew up in Ponyville when he was young, then moved to Manehattan to acquire his fortune, etcetera, etcetera.

After five brutal minutes, he finally went on to explain the most important piece this museum had to offer. No, oddly enough, not the statue of Princess Celestia, but instead Princess Platinum's tiara. By that time, Rainbow Dash had joined me to listen to this colt yammer on and on.

"Miss anything?" she asked.

"You missed how we backwater ponies are not worthy of this museum and Curator's help," I told her sarcastically.

Excitingly, he had invited us to the other room to see the treasure.

I had counted fifteen of us as we all walked with him. I wondered why the others hadn't joined us, but decided not to question it, the less of us that are there, the less trouble we, more particularly Pinkie, would have spotting the thief. Along with the ponies here to enjoy the museum came five pegasi, part of the Royal Guard, to keep an eye on things.

Up the spiral staircase and two corridors later, we were in a pure white room dedicated to the arrogant Princess. There were paintings of her and a full scaled model in the middle; she looked just as pompous as the legends depicted. And atop the model, which was entirely beige and unremarkable, sat a bright silver, jewel-encrusted tiara.

"Behold! The tiara of Princess Platinum!" He needlessly reiterated, "One of the greatest treasures, in pony history, ever!"

The crowd of ten oohed and aahed as we all shuffled into the room. In that instance, I surveyed the ponies here. Vinyl Scratch, Rainbow Dash, a kindly old donkey, Mayor Mare, Pinkie, myself, a young pegasus/unicorn couple, a Canterlot elite who had his snobby nose high up in the air, and his date. The pegasi of the Royal Guard trotted over to the mannequin and surrounded it, ensuring that nopony was to go near it.

"Kinda tacky," remarked Vinyl.

One of the Canterlot elite, an arrogant earth pony with coifed brown hair, a monocle, and a fancy waistcoat, looked over Vinyl with mild interest, "Oh, and I suppose you moonlight as a fashionista then?"

Vinyl gave him a death stare, but he just regarded her like an insect.

"Nope, professional DJ, and who are you supposed to be?" she asked indignantly.

"I am Lord Whinnyton," he announced pompously, "And she is Lady Alexandria."

His date, a beautiful pink unicorn who batted her eyelashes at us, seemed a little bored with everything here. She looked at the tiara like it was a trinket she wanted to shop for.

But, despite Whinnyton's attempt at impressing us with his name, and date, we just stood there, almost baffled at him. After all, I certainly have never heard of him, I would remember someone as pompous as him.

"Ooh," Vinyl cooed sarcastically, "Are we supposed to be impressed?"

Whinnyton glared at her, but decided against saying anything, as if the mere act of talking with her would tarnish his pretentiousness.

"I suppose a disc-jockey wouldn't have heard of me," he scoffed bitterly, "No matter, commoners will have their talk."

He and his date, trotted off. Vinyl sneered at his disappearing figure before turning back to me with her smile. Glancing past her, I noticed Pinkie and Rainbow were looking at the tiara carefully, as if to ensure it doesn't disappear on them.

Turning back to Vinyl, I tried for a smile but it must've come out bitterly because she looked at me seriously.

"What's wrong?" she asked, "Don't tell me Pinks gave you one of her homemade muffins?"

There goes that nickname again.

"N-no," I eloquently stammered, "I was just thinking… How did you and, uh, Pinkie meet again?"

Vinyl stared at me weirdly before flipping up her shades, those red eyes were distracting, "I was trying to write a song for this talent show thing we had at school," she began to explain, "But I was stuck. I was a good enough singer, ya kinda have to be when you live in Ponyville-"

Ah, she had grown up in Ponyville?

"- But, ah, I sucked when it came to lyrics. I guess that's why I'm a disc jockey, huh?" she asked humorously, "So, there I was, underneath this big apple tree trying to get some inspiration to write… when all of a sudden, it hit me! Literally! Pinkie dropped right out of the tree and hit me smack-dab on the head. Being a Manehattan girl, I nearly got into a fight with her, but when she smiled at me and asked what I was doing, I couldn't bring myself to smack her, ya know?"

Yes, indeed, I know of that smile that allows Pinkie to get away with anything. Just one look of it would make me weak; she was quite manipulative if she wanted to be, but confound that innocent personality of hers.

"'Whatcha doing?' she asked, and I told her that I was trying to come up with some lyrics for a song, but lacked the inspiration. Pinkie stared at me, then jumped for joy, 'Hold on to your hooves, I'm about to be brilliant!' she cried. Then she sped off into the distance. It only took two minutes for me to hear the music. She came over the hill, wearing this crazy contraption where she practically glued a bunch of instruments to herself. With each step and each breath, a different instrument would play."

She smiled wistfully, as if she could still recall that contraption.

"It was chaotic, of course; nothing was in harmony, nothing really connected, but even in that mess of noise she made, I could still hear music. It's hard to explain, but I could hear the potential for music hidden underneath that dissonant mess she created. She played for hours while I sat there coming up with inspiration and I had finally finished the song. I asked her if she could perform with me and she couldn't say yes enough. We didn't end up winning, but we became friends and I had learned, after the entire mess, that my cutie mark had appeared, thanks to her."

Vinyl bashfully scratched the back of her head, as she smiled embarrassedly, which, in turn, embarrassed me; hearing about something so personal. Guilt then weighed on my shoulders; I felt ridiculous for accusing her of being The Mare. She seemed too fond of Pinkie to become a criminal mastermind.

"How did you two meet?" Vinyl asked.

"Oh, uh, w-well," I didn't exactly have an endearing narrative depicting of our heartwarming meeting where she looked at me for four seconds, gasped, then ran off to throw me a party in my home.

Then, suddenly, the lights turned off. A gasp in the crowd and a girly shriek caught my attention, and I snapped into action.

"Twi!" I heard Pinkie call out.

My horn lighting up with magic, I produced a very basic light spell. It took five seconds as the wisps of magic emitted from my horn and floated up to the ceiling lights, where, upon contact, lit up the room entirely.

Everything was accountable, everypony was in the spot where they had been before, I think. The lights were off for a good ten seconds, not long enough for anything to happen, but we weren't so lucky.

"The tiara…" I heard Whinnyton gasp.

"Dang it! How?" Rainbow demanded.

My heart dropped as I turned to look at the mannequin of Princess Platinum where her head lay bare, except for a note.

The Mare got it.

"W-wh-, ho-how?" Curator sputtered.

"Oh, my," mumbled Mayor Mare.

"Wow, not bad," mused Vinyl.

"All right everypony!" Rainbow flew up to the center of the room, staring at everyone with hawk-like precision, "Nopony moves! We're finding this tiara now!"

The only one remaining idle in this time of panic was Pinkie. She stood by the mannequin, looking at it intensely. Then, finally satisfied, she examined the note attached.

Trotting beside her, she asked, "What do you make of this?"

"'Lovely present, it will look lovely on me. A Mare must have something fashionable for an event like this'," I read aloud, "She is arrogant. Your type of gal Pinks."

Pinkie looked at me, almost disturbingly, as I dropped Vinyl's nickname on her. It made me uneasy that her concentrated stare was focused on me. Thankfully, she didn't stare long. She turned right back to the note and sniffed it.

"Pretty smell, don't you think?" she asked.

I smelled the card and could only barely notice the very subtle hint of Jasmine on it. It would have taken a wild animal to have detected it that quickly.

"Fresh," I remarked, "Meaning it was probably written out beforehand, maybe around the same time the first note was written. She'd planed everything out."

"Good, Twi!" she complimented, bringing a blush to my cheeks, "But that's probably wrong."

"How?" I whined.

"The ink," she noted, "It's fresh."

I looked down at the note and it was as she said. The ink was still slightly wet. I smudged it with my hoof and frowned as a smear tainted the lovely card.

"She wrote it in a hurry, though; look at the strokes. A bit more excitable than her first card, but it shows one thing, that's for sure."

"And what," Rainbow flew down between us, landing in front of me, "Might that be?"

"She's still here."

Rainbow looked around at the crowd of ponies and frowned, "She might've escaped during the chaos with the lights."

"Impossible, my dear Rainbow," Pinkie explained calmly, trotting in front of Rainbow and around the mannequin, "The doors weren't opened. We would've heard her," she looked at me, signaling me to open the doors.

With my magic, I opened the double-doors and, as she said, they creaked and moaned as they opened. Also, they were rather heavy, and it took a little more exertion than normal to pull them open.

"Besides, she doesn't want to escape. No, that would be too easy," Pinkie grinned mischievously as she turned to us, "She is challenging us. She wants to see if we'll find her before she gets bored and leaves. Why else would she leave a note?"

"We need to hurry then," I suggested, "Look for clues, establish what happened, and find out who the Mare is disguised as!"

"Yes, but-"

"Good!" Rainbow interrupted, "Go and do that, I'll get more troops up here, and-"

"No," Pinkie said, "You have to stay as well. After all, we don't know if you're the Mare yet. You can't leave, Dash."

Instead of being offended, Rainbow just smiled affirmatively, "Good point. I'll stay until the great detective can find this thief."

With that, Pinkie hopped over to the mannequin, next to the startled, and embarrassed, pegasi.

"Are you sure nopony got past you?" she asked.

The largest one glared at her, "Of course!" he grumbled, "If anypony had gotten past us, then we would've noticed!"

"Then how did they get the tiara?" she asked innocently.

He flushed, ashamed, but reasserted that they haven't moved their formation since they had arrived.

"No matter!" she called out. Then, strangely enough, she started to sniff the pegasi. Satisfied, Pinkie went over to Mayor Mare, sniffed her, then over to Curator, and to the young couple, then to the Canterlot elites, to Rainbow Dash, me, then, finally, Vinyl.

"What, uh, was that?" asked Rainbow, slightly violated at Pinkie's lack of personal space.

"Searching for clues!" she exclaimed before running off to the mannequin, down low on the floor looking at every square inch.

Vinyl came over to me, laughing, "Does she always do that?"

"This was a good day," I remarked, "Sometimes she licks you."

She laughed, "Yeah, she's like that, I remember this one time where she- hey, what's wrong?"

I couldn't hide my shock as I backed off quietly, but not as subtly as I had hoped; for when Vinyl Scratch, the famous DJ PON-3, came up to me, I caught the whiff of the subtlest jasmine on her; the same as the card.

It was difficult, nay, it was impossible to stand there; to stop myself from running toward Pinkie, accusing Vinyl of being the Mare. That's why she smelled Vinyl, wasn't it? She smelled the scent of jasmine as well; she knew it was her!

No, no, calm down. Pinkie doesn't do anything without a good reason. If she knew, she would've said something by now; maybe she is trying to find evidence to the contrary… or maybe she was finding evidence to support her claim.

"Ah, excuse me," I mumbled, walking away from Vinyl and toward Pinkie who was too busy smelling the mannequin to pay any attention to me. "Pinkie!" I hissed.

"Hm? Oh, what's up, Twi?" She asked with a wide smile.

"Have you, um, found anything yet?"

The earth pony, to my surprise, nodded.

"Yep!" she cried, "I think I may have figured something out."

"Already?" asked Rainbow, "But you've only been looking for like thirty seconds. No way you found out already!"

"Oh, I didn't just find out, I knew all along," she answered enigmatically.

Lord Whinnyton snorted, "Really now? What a joke, they call you the Great Detective, but it is for show, is it not?"

"Hey, I'd watch your next words, very carefully there, bub," I snarled uncharacteristically. Then, catching how odd I acted, I stepped back, embarrassed.

"Anyhoo. There was no need to guess or find evidence; after all, she told us who she was right from the start," Pinkie explained, walking over to Vinyl with a mischievous look on her face. Oh dear, was it really her?

"'Headwear isn't my style, but a Mare has to indulge herself sometimes.'" Pinkie recited.

"That doesn't explain anything," pointed out Vinyl.

"It says a lot, Vinny, a lot more than expected."

"Would you just tell us?!" impatiently cried the Curator.

"It's simple!" she insisted, "It's right there! What does she call herself?"

"The Mare?" I answered with some trepidation.

"Exactly! She's The Mare. A master-thief and very brilliant, if not a bit overconfident. Isn't that right, Mayor?"

Shocked, everyone looked upon the Mayor, who just smiled confidently, despite the guards already surrounding her.

"Where's the tiara?!" demanded Rainbow, confronting the thief.

"You rough and tumble pegasi are always so straight to the point," Mayor remarked, her voice different, taking on a sophisticated accent and tone, "Shame, really. Those wings of yours are quite fabulous."

"Enough!" snapped Rainbow, "Grab her!"

"I don't think so…"

Before the guards could detain her, light glowed around her body and enveloped her entirely. A loud pop shook the room and I felt an intense wave of magic wash over me. When the light died, the Mayor wasn't there, only a group of dazed pegasi.

"Where'd sh-, doesn't matter, everypony, find her! Cover the exits!" Rainbow ordered.

But, my friend Pinkie Pie had different plans entirely. She hadn't followed them and instead ran out of the door and veered right, to the ascending staircase. Being her trusty helper, I followed suit.

"Wait!" I cried, trying to keep up with Pinkie's pace as she raced up the stairs, "Hold on! Pinkie, where are you going?"

She hadn't answered and just kept running until she hit a door. Passing through it, we found ourselves on the roof. It was night and Luna's sky blazed brilliantly above us as the dim lights of Ponyville were scattered on the horizon, like so many fireflies.

On the roof wasn't the Mayor, it was a different pony entirely. She wore a lovely black saddle-bag that complemented her pure white coat. She had beautiful curled indigo hair and a cutie mark of diamonds.

Rarity, the fashionista of Canterlot, stood before us.

"My," she purred, "You are fast."

"Te-teleportation," I coughed out, trying to catch my breath, "Who taught you that spell?"

It was an obvious teleportation spell. I felt the familiar magic downstairs right before she left; it was how she got to the roof so fast. But that was a moderately high-level spell; one error could produce fatal results.

"She won't say," answered Pinkie, "She's just buying time."

"For what?"

"You're better than advertised!" complimented Rarity, "I always thought of you as an air-headed pony. I suppose judging a pony by their cutie mark isn't very fair. By the way, what can you tell about me?"

"Where's the tiara?" demanded Pinkie.

"What a silly question; you know where it is," she answered, gesturing to her bag, "The better question is, how are you going to get it away from me?"

"Two on one," I reminded her, "We could take you."

"Maybe, but Pinkie won't fight, will you darling?"

Pinkie just smiled and shook her head, "There's no need to, darling, because you're going to give me the tiara."

Rarity laughed, a restrained noise that spoke volumes of sophistication and a reserved nature.

"You are funny!" she noted, "Why on earth would I give you this lovely treasure?"

"Because you know, as well as I do, that you didn't steal Princess Platinum's tiara."

Rarity frowned and, with levitation, opened her bag and showed the tiara to us. It looked exactly like the piece we saw earlier; same jewels. It was the same tiara.

"You need to get your eyes checked, darling."

"No, it is the other ponies that need to get their eyes checked. That isn't Platinum's tiara; she didn't own a tiara. Back then, mares like her didn't bother with those useless devices; besides, she had a crown, didn't she?"

"So, why do you want it so bad if you know it is fake?" asked Rarity.

"I don't, really, I just want to know why you want it."

Rarity smiled, as if Pinkie finally said something intelligent and looked at her with respect. Before answering, however, she turned to the open sky and gestured toward the forest that this museum faced.

"White Tail Woods," she explained, "Beautiful, isn't it? At least, it would be if this infernal museum wasn't in the way. Overwhelming this amazing example of nature by this tacky like building with trinkets that aren't even legitimate."

"I didn't take you for an environmentalist," I mused.

Rarity looked at me and frowned, "Twilight Sparkle. The… silly assistant of the Great Pinkamena Diane Pie. Hmph. Well, I'll have you know, that all of this wasn't about me. No, it was for a close friend of mine. They would've loved to see this placed untouched."

"So, what?" Pinkie asked, stepping forward, "Taking a fake tiara wouldn't do anything. Why'd you do it?"

"No, of course not, but an investigation by the royal guard would. It would take months, maybe even years before they stop the inevitable investigation."

I shook my head; even if she wanted to save this forest, stealing isn't the right way to go about it. There were other ways! She must be rich, working with Canterlot elites and such, she could donate money, do something practical.

"That's ridiculous! Stop making yourself out to be a martyr, you're just a thief. If you wanted to help, you could put some money into charities to stop this production. Thievery isn't the way." I argued.

"Perhaps, but, then again, who knows what the royal guard could uncover with a little digging, hm?"

Before I could ask what she was talking about, a chariot appeared out of nowhere. It appeared right over the roof, manned by only one pegasus who was shrouded in darkness. Rarity smiled as she looked over at the chariot, before turning to us and winking.

"Well, this has been fun, but I must take my leave!"

Before I could react, Pinkie was already on Rarity. She had jumped and tackled the mare, tumbling briefly and precariously over the edge. When she had pinned Rarity, it looked like she had won but the unicorn simply teleported away.

She had reappeared on the chariot, smiling proudly as the chariot then took off immediately, flying out into the night.

Suffice it to say, I was thoroughly embarrassed that I didn't do anything to help. I merely stood there; almost baffled by everything that just happened. When things had calmed down, however, my legs unfroze and I ran over to Pinkie.

"You okay?" I asked stupidly. "I'm sorry she got away, it was my fault. I mean, I should've done something, I could've done something, I-"

"It's okay, Twi," promised Pinkie.

"It's not okay! I just let her get away! I could've done something, Pinkie!"

Pinkie stood up and smiled at me, "Twilight, it's fine. Look," she lifted up her hooves and I gasped for joy, for underneath them was the tiara!

By the time we arrived downstairs, there were dozens of royal guards everywhere. All of them agitated and scuttling around as Rainbow Dash ordered them to take up positions. When Rainbow saw us, she raced toward us, irate that we disappeared.

"Where have you been?" she asked.

To answer, Pinkie simply threw the tiara at her, "And I'm sure that upon investigation, your guards would find… something interesting in this place and Curator in particular."

"Investigation? But- hey, where are you going?" she demanded as we reached the doors.

"Home, silly billie," smiled Pinkie, "I'm hungry, and Gummy misses me!"

Our walk home was done in silence. Ironic, really, since I was quite talkative when agitated and it was near impossible to shut Pinkie up. She didn't even hop, just walked in silence.

I glanced at the ground, then at Pinkie's back. She looked mysterious, aloof; so not Pinkie.

"Pinkie, I- I'm sorry."

Suddenly, she stopped, causing me to bump into her, and turned around. Pinkie raised a curious eyebrow, and frowned, "What're you sorry for?"

Blinking, I probably looked more confused than she did with my apology.

"Y-you know, for suspecting Vinyl for being the thief, then being useless as Rarity escaped."

To my surprise, Pinkie laughed, "Oh, that's fine, Twi! You were just trying to be cautious and unbiased. It's fine!"

"No! I accused one of your friends of being a criminal mastermind! Shouldn't you be mad?"

I glanced down at the ground, fearful of looking at Pinkie at that moment. She'd probably get mad, like I wanted. No, I didn't want her to be mad, but it makes sense, doesn't it? Anypony would be mad if their friends were accused of being criminals, wouldn't they?

But again to my surprise, Pinkie just hugged me.

"Don't be silly, Twi," she said softly, "You're my bestest, super-awesomest friend ever!"

Blushing, I froze, not sure what to do. It scared me a little that she hugged me so suddenly; speaking so softly it was almost motherly. But, before I could decide what to do, she had pulled away from the hug and grinned at me.

"But…" I thought carefully, "You… smelled Vinyl, didn't you? You smelled the jasmine on her, right? Why didn't you think of her as a suspect?"

"Easy," she started, "The Mayor – ah, I mean, Rarity, smelled of jasmine as well."

"That isn't enough evidence. Vinyl could've easily been Rarity," I argued.

"Nah, I trust Vinyl. It couldn't have been her!" She decided happily, making me feel rather miserable.

That ended our discussion, and we ended up at the library faster than I had expected. Pinkie grinned as she left me at my house, and I fell into a dreamless sleep.

The next morning, I was awakened by the rude, and awfully loud, sound of the vacuum cleaner. Peering over my bed lethargically, I saw that my friendly, albeit sarcastic, number one assistant was already cleaning things up. Wearing his polka-dot apron, he vacuumed the floors while dusting the shelves with the duster held in his tail.

An impressive feat, I may have commended him on it if I weren't so irritated.

"Spike!" I yelled over the infernal machine, "What are you doing?"

The dragon glared at me, it probably would have been more effective had his apron not put off his serious demeanor.

"What you told me to do," he answered curtly, "Last night, you were all grumpy and complained that I hadn't cleaned up. I was gonna do it then, but you just went straight to bed."

I grumbled under my breath and trotted downstairs, indifferent to my unmade bed or to Spike's domestic efforts.

"Jeez," he mumbled, "Woke up on the wrong side of the bed?"

Guilt weighed my shoulders (I should probably get a masseuse for that, I wonder if spa ponies could fix that) and I frowned, "Sorry. I don't mean to be so short with you. I'm just… ugh, too tired."

A partial lie, I was pretty exhausted due to my agitation last night depriving me of sleep.

"It's cool," he dismissively decided, "But, I don't have to clean now, right?"

Smiling, I rolled my eyes and looked at him, "What do you think?"

As he vacuumed – rather indignantly if you ask me; he tried to clean my tail – I went over to the other room and saw the table set already.

A daffodil omelet with toast and orange juice, along with that, the morning paper was there as well.

I only had to glance at the headline, which dropped my jaw.

Colt Curator Taken Into Custody for Fraudulent Museum Pieces.

It went on to explain that Curator was, in fact, faking several pieces in is gallery. One of which was, of course, Princess Platinum's tiara, along with dozens of pieces from her kingdom. After a quick investigation, it came up that he had falsified nearly everything in his museum, just to get money. The museum would, consequently, be closed and further production on it would be halted, perhaps even indefinitely.

The Whitetail Woods would also be spared.

I ran out of the library and raced toward Sugarcube Corner. Thinking back on it, I must've looked silly, running out of the library, mane and tail ruffled, eyes wild, and slightly hungry. I was so frantic, I barely noticed the mare I ran into.

Crashing into her, we both fell to the ground, I had a nasty bump on my head from the impact, and I'm sure the other mare wasn't so well off. When I got back up, I was profusely apologizing for my clumsiness. Then, when I saw her, I blushed, in spite of myself.

Cheerilee sat across from me with a dazed look on her face. She shook her head to rid of the disorientation and when she focused on me, she gave me a sheepish smile.

"Oh my gosh," I gasped, "I'm so, so sorry!"

Running to her, I tried to help her, but the earth pony stood up and looked at me, her brilliant green eyes stared at me with intense focus.

"It's quite alright," she smiled, "But, I must ask; what has you so excited?"

It would be a bit too long to explain, so I gave her the abridged version, "I have to talk to Pinkie Pie, it's very important, and I rushed out a bit too fast."

She laughed, "Pinkie Pie? Party pony?" she mused, "What do you have to talk about with her?"

"U-uh, it's about the, um, you know, near robbery of Princess Platinum's tiara. She solved the case, but-"

"She solved it?" interrupted Cherrilee, "I thought she was just, you know, a party pony."

She must have not heard, which was strange, but understandable to a schoolteacher like her, "Pinkie is a consulting detective, the only one of her kind. She had solved numerous cases, and found out the thief from last night, but the thief… escaped."

"Oh, my, what happened?"

"She just outwitted us. But, you know, we got the tiara back, so, it's technically a victory for us," I hastily explained.

"Right, right," she drifted off, "But, ah, what do you need to talk to Pinkie about then?"

I couldn't tell her about what Rarity said, I had already said too much. Biting my lips, I decided on a course of action.

"Post-case stuff," I said, "You know? Details, you know, whether or not Pinkie wants to take a picture for the paper, commendations, small stuff."

"Ah, I see," she said with a calm smile, "I won't hold you up any longer, though. Give her my regards."

With that clever smile of hers, she walked off. Without thinking too hard about it, I ran off.

Reaching the bakery, I burst through the doors, "Pinkie!" I called out.

But, as I entered, a flying cake nearly took purchase at my head. Dodging the flying deadly sugary object, I heard the cake hitting some poor pony outside.

"Whoops!" Pinkie laughed, behind me, "Are you okay, Twilight?"

Turning, I noticed that Pinkie was covered in flour; her chef's hat crushed slightly, her apron stained with chocolate and an impossibly cheery smile on her face.

It was difficult maintaining a calm demeanor when she smiled at me. It was the type of smile that would melt away any apprehension or fear from your heart, and instantly comfort you. But I was much too frazzled to be affected, snapping out of my Pinkie induced stupor, I walked up to her, cupped her cheeks, and glared into her eyes.

"Pinkie, Rarity's plan worked!" I cried, "The museum would be shut down, she didn't need the tiara or anything from that place. All she needed was to spark interest, and she did just that! By bringing the great detective there to try to catch her! She'd played us, she made you look foolish!"

Pinkie then cupped my own cheeks and grinned, "And?" she asked innocently.

"What do you mean, 'and'? She played you, Pinkie!"

Backing off from me, Pinkie turned around and headed for the counter, discarding her hat and trying to wipe her apron.

"My reputation isn't very important to me," she answered, "It doesn't matter what anypony thinks of me, really. As long as I can help ponies and make them smile, I'll be fine. And besides, isn't it a good thing that the museum will be shut down?"

Tilting my head, I curiously looked at her, "Why?"

"That way, Whitetail Woods would be untouched. It'll stay, perfectly in touch with nature. Just as Rarity had intended, and that doesn't sound too bad. Even if she's a thief, she didn't steal anything, and did a good deed. That's the most I can ask from most ponies."

Her simple and childish explanation made me giggle like a filly. It was just like her to see the good in ponies, even thieves like Rarity.

I managed to finally calm down and realize how ridiculous I looked. Laughing, I sheepishly stared at her, "I, um, look ridiculous, don't I?"

"Hmm," she gave me a clever look, ducked behind the counter, and when she popped back up, she threw a cake at me! It caught me right in the nose, covering my face entirely in messy goo. Pinkie laughed, which was incredibly infectious, and I joined in.

Then, she slammed a chocolate cake into her own face and laughed harder, "Now we both look ridiculous!"

I would have to disagree, however. As the great detective, Pinkamena Diane Pie, and her assistant can never look ridiculous laughing together.

The Adventure of the Traveling Bard

The Adventure of the Gypsy Bard

She ran. It was quite silly when reconsidering her options; the manor she lived in was single-hoofedly the best in all of Canterlot, save the Princesses Celestia and Luna's. Servants ready to attend to her whim, beautiful lush grounds, a garden fit for royalty, house-schooling suitable for geniuses and all of the influences, and resources, capable of toppling entire governments.

But she couldn't stay there any longer. It wasn't natural, her living there while somewhere out there, the most sinister of plots was occurring. That letter that had chilled her bones was burned into her memory; she still held it, for sentimentality rather than addled memory, as she ran. Escape was, ironically enough, not as glamorous as the media would have you to believe.

First off, she hadn't believed the security would be so tight. Honestly, she had figured she could simply trot away from the grounds and be done with it. No, indeed the security was of a considerable density. This was partly due to the fact that the young pony would be a target for malicious ponies, and partly due to the orders of the pony who owned the home; her elder sister.

She had evaded the sentries after climbing out of her window and scaling the wall. It was uncomfortable, but the young filly was rather athletic despite her posh and comfortable life style. Hopping over the rosebushes, she was able to see the gates at the bottom of the hill. There were four more sentries over the hill, but they were too far to be able to notice her.

It was easy, a bit too easy. Before her, the open field was about one hundred feet of well-maintained grass and some trees, she would be easily exposed if she ran down there and the alternative of skirting alongside the edges would be inadvisable. It wouldn't take long for the maids to notice her disappearance, as soon as that happened the grounds would be put into high alert, making escape impossible.

She sat there, hidden by the bushes and shroud of darkness, mulling over her options. Give up and go back, or make a break for it?

The choice was obvious.

Pocketing the revered letter into her saddlebag, the pony looked at the grounds once more to get a feel for her environment. She had walked on these grounds a million and two times and could navigate them with her eyes closed, but under the night sky everything felt foreign. It had felt like she was looking at a different world, not the home she had become accustomed to for fourteen years.

The sentries went away briefly to complete their perimeter search, now would be the most opportune time.

Despite the possibility of being candid and redundant, she ran.

Making her way down the hill like a bat out of Tartarus, the pony covered half the distance in ten seconds. Not exactly a record maker, but it was quick enough to notice the guards circling back. She picked up her pace, her heart burning, her throat feeling constricted, her hooves aching and her mind clouding from the pain, the pony dove toward the gates.

She had made it, safe underneath the hill that obscured the line of sight between her and the guards. But, the possibility of them nearing the gate was entirely feasible, so she wasted little time. Getting back up, she stood before the ten-foot gate and grimaced. There would be no scaling of this goliath, it would take too much time and would leave her entirely exposed and there was an easier way.

At the far right of the gate, hidden underneath thorn bushes, was a hole produced by wild animals. It would be big enough for her to just barely crawl through, but small enough so that she wouldn't be easily followed.

Pushing through the bushes, earning a few scratches here and there, she found purchase! The hole burrowed underneath the stone walls that encased the entirety of the manor and flanked either side of the gate. Taking haste, she entered the hole.

Moments later, she emerged on the other side, and although she had dirtied herself, she had come out of the hole enlightened. Shaking off the dirt from her sleek body, she checked her person to ensure her effects hadn't been disturbed during the experience.

Her saddlebags were still there. Leaving the grounds, she quickly made her way toward Greater Canterlot. The shops would be closed by now, but a few stragglers had lingered here and there; they would pose no danger, however. Despite what someponies would have you believe, Canterlot was actually entirely safe.

High-class ponies were as dangerous as a basket full of bunnies; they would pose no threat to her. Finding her way toward the local café, she would not embark on rations but would need to check herself.

The earth mare removed her saddlebags and placed them on the ground before her. Opening them up, she carefully produced the contents in front of her: a spare change of clothes, toiletries, some food – her favorite! Cupcakes with a bottle of hot sauce as toppings – and, finally, the letter.

It was silly to think that this flimsy piece of paper could terrify her, but her hooves shook as she held the artifact. Sometimes, she would delude herself into thinking that the letter was a mere product of her imagination, that what it had said was nonexistent. No matter how many times she closed her eyes, however, the letter was still there when she opened them.

Flipping open the envelope, she pulled the letter out and spread it open.

In elegant print, it read:

"My dearest daughter, I must be frank. Due to certain extenuating circumstances, I cannot remain in Canterlot any longer. Have no fear, I am alright and will continue to be so during this journey of mine. But, I must traverse to resolve this issue, I am uncertain of how long it would take; weeks, months, perhaps even years. Do not worry, I will return someday. Until then, you will remain with your eldest sister in Canterlot, I would recommend you to Ponyville, but in her line of work, things may be turbulent.

I love you. Stay safe, and do be nice to your sister."

Those words still brought chills. Her mother was not the type to simply run off without proper notice, much less be mysterious and enigmatic. She was always straightforward and explained things in a concise manner; this type of secrecy was disturbing. What was it that had her mother so shaken that she felt the need to leave so suddenly?

This letter was secretly delivered to her only two days ago. When she had inquired about it to the maids, they had told her that her mother left within that time frame but had done so publicly. Confound it; two days ago she had spent some time at a cotillion with a friend.

One thing was certain, she needed to find her mother, and quickly. There were a few guesses as to where she went, one of them being Ponyville. Her mother hated Canterlot, and only stayed because of her eldest daughter's insistence.

But, getting to Ponyville may be a bit difficult. For one thing, if her elder sister would hear about this escape (which she would) she would devote all of her energy in detaining her. She couldn't let that happen, not before finding her mother.

She placed her stuff in the bags, threw them over herself, and stepped out into the street. Her blue coat, gray curly mane and tail and her caramel eyes shone with a certain aristocracy, providing a dignified aura of confidence. Her cutie mark of a magnifying glass shined in the moonlight.

~--~

It was amazing how much and how little I knew of my friend, Pinkie Pie. I knew her little quirks and idiosyncrasies, her favorite foods and her disdain for spinach. But, I didn't know anything about her personal life.

I was unsure whether or not she had any romantic inclinations, I didn't know anything about her family, her pet peeves or even how she gets her queerly expressive mane the way she does!

That is why I was indefinitely confused when this earth mare had approached me.

She was a dull gray pony with a dark poofy mane, wide concentrated purple eyes and a curious cutie mark of a black calligraphy pen, it blended in with her near monochromatic color scheme. The pony practically pushed me over when she crashed into me; I was on my way to Sugarcube Corner after picking up a few books for Pinkie when this stranger collided with me.

"OhmygoshIamsososorry, areyouokay?" the excited mare asked me, trying to help me up and simultaneously pick up my books.

"Yeah, uh, I'm fine," I grumbled, thoroughly annoyed with the prospect of how most of my meetings go with strangers, "Are you okay though?"

"YesI'mfine, I'vegotareallytoughhead, likeyoucouldprobablysmashaboulderovermyheadandit'llbefine!" her rapid-fire style of talking was disorientating and reminded me of Pinkie. She was a bit bigger than Pinkie though, slimmer and lithe, beautiful really. If I thought about it hard enough, I could imagine Pinkie as her.

"Could you, ah, slow down a bit?" I asked quietly, in hopes to both decrease her volume and speaking rate.

The pony grinned, "Ah, I'm sorry. I talk fast when I get excited and I'm super excited today!"

"Oh?" Picking up my books, I feigned interest, "And why's that?"

"Because this is my first time ever in Ponyville! And since I'm new, I don't know anypony here, and if I don't know anypony here, so I'm lonely! But I met you! We're gonna be the bestest friends now!"

"Whoa, what?" I stammered suddenly as this strange pony moved in and hugged me.

"Hi! My name is Inky Pie! Who're you?"

"Oh, I'm Twilight Sparkle-"

My poor books were mistreated today; the shock of her name had caused me to drop my levitated books in the mud, but hadn't paid them any mind even though they had splashed mud all over me.

"What did you say?!" I cried, jumping in the air to punctuate my surprise.

"'Hi'?"

"After that!"

"'Who're you?'"

"Before that!"

"'My name is'?"

"Inky!"

"Great guess! You're a smarty-pants, aren't you? Oh wait, we don't normally wear pants, right?"

I placed my hooves on Inky's shoulders and settled her down, looking into her eyes, I instantly recognized her. Well, not her, per se, but I could recognize the look in her eyes. I saw the intensity that Pinkie Pie held when she was using her full mental faculties, but Inky had the same look despite appearing so docile.

"Are you… Pinkie's sister?" I asked stupidly, as the answer was painfully obvious.

"Yep! Inkamena Selene Pie, at your service!"

She explained why she was in Ponyville. She wanted to see Pinkie and ask for her assistance, it didn't take much to deduce that it must be detective work. Inky wouldn't explain why she needed the help, but it was severe as her cheerful demeanor dropped slightly.

"If you're, um, her sister, have you inherited… you know, the thing she does."

"Her singing? Yeah, I'm a pretty good singer." She looked at me with that huge smile.

But, I shook my head, "No, I meant her deductive powers. You know, how she can tell so much about somepony with just one look."

"Yep!" Inky answered simply.

Dead silence followed between us for five seconds.

"Um, well, care to demonstrate?" I asked.

Inky stopped to look at me with a simple frown.

"Your little dragon assistant is a little brash, you should probably get a new mattress or at least sleep on the right side of the bed, I'd suggest tidying up around the library a little more; those books can collect a lot of dust. And although I know your breakfast was bad, you shouldn't throw it out and finish everything; after all, breakfast is the most important meal of the day!"

My jaw dropped. She had explained things so simply and efficiently that it had the air of a professor rather than this eccentric mare that stood before me. She didn't appear similar to Pinkie in her explanation or speed, Pinkie liked to mess with me and do things for the sake of showing off. But Inky was very cold and clinical; explaining in a manner a doctor would to their patient. And Inky was a lot faster in her deductions than Pinkie.

"How did you…?"

"Your mane is a little singed, it doesn't look like it was burn by normal fire, must be magic. Who else could breathe magic fire? Dragons. The burn is at the end of your mane, so I can deduce that your dragon is awfully short, probably quite young. Also concerning your mane, it is messed up in a way that implies you slept on the left side; and judging by the way you stand, the bed is uncomfortable. There is a little bit of dust around your neck and shoulders, probably from those books you're currently holding. And finally, you look rather hungry but you have crumbs over your mouth; you probably ate but didn't enjoy the meal too much."

"Right…"

Inky just smiled at me and continued to walk; I had to play a little catch-up considering her speed. She walked like a pony with a purpose. Although I had to keep up, my mind was still reeling at her intelligence. It was hard for me to believe that somepony like Pinkie could exist, but to know that there were two of them was staggering!

I had so many questions. I wanted to ask whether or not Pinkie realized her ability of deduction at an early age or if it was something recently discovered. Or if this high intelligence was a genetic trait, or if she has any cute pictures of Pinkie as a foal! You know, for science.

But, I walked beside her, dumb and mute. Unable to bring up my curiosity, for some misguided fear of rejection or ridicule. In fact, I was so clouded by my apprehension that I hadn't noticed Inky stop in front of me.

"Uh, Twi, I'm not sure where Sugarcube Corner is, I've only heard of it from her letters," she had explained.

Embarrassingly, I took the lead and quickly headed for Sugarcube Corner. The place stood tall in front of us, a monument to all things sugary and sweet. When I opened the door, I saw Pinkie standing in the far back, glaring at a cupcake so intensely I figured she was trying to psychically cause it to explode.

"Hey, Twi," Pinkie absentmindedly called out, sparing me a single glance before going back to her cupcake, "Sleep on the couch again? Late night study session, huh."

"Actually," Inky interrupted, "It was her bed, not the couch."

Upon hearing her sister's voice, Pinkie's eyes widened and she stared at the gray pony. At first, I had thought that the Pie sisters would have a sweet, lovable reunion; many tears shed from joy. But, Pinkie just glared at Inky like she was her mortal enemy. And, before I knew it, Pinkie had run across the room, wrapped her leg around my shoulder, and pulled me away from Inky.

"What're you doing here? Did you do anything to Twilight?" she asked with uncharacteristic venom in her voice.

Inky just smiled maturely, her cheerful demeanor was gone and was replaced by a calculative one. Ignoring her initial question, Inky looked around at Sugarcube Corner, assessing it quietly in her mind, then once satisfied; she frowned and turned back to Pinkie.

"This is where you're staying?" she muttered with some distaste, "Certainly, you could've done better with your talent."

"I happen to like it, sister dear," Pinkie shot back.

"I see," she sniffed, brushing her shoulder off indifferently, as if standing in this room alone would infect her.

"How's the castle though? I see that their chimney is in need of a good cleaning."

"And I see that your trombone is in need of repairs, little sister."

"You should really lay off the cupcakes, sister dear, they will do well to ruin your diet."

"And you have been losing the pounds that I have so ungracefully gained. What plagues you? Is it the case of the ghostly mare? Such simple trifle."

"I'll have you know, I'm nearing a breakthrough in the case, almost done with it."

I frowned, "I thought you were stuck on that case?"

Pinkie looked at me and whispered, "Yeah, but she doesn't have to know!"

"It was the butler, little sister, there, case solved. Now, I need you to do something far more important than that little domestic occurrence," Inky announced almost proudly as she walked closer to Pinkie and I, her dull eyes glinting with a mischievous shine.

"Whatever it is, aren't you the most capable pony for the job?" Pinkie retorted, taking a step back.

"I'm afraid it isn't quite as simple as that. You see, it involves family. Our lovely, albeit confused, little sister has gone missing."

"Blinky's missing?" Pinkie cried.

"Wait, you have another sister?" My head was starting to hurt, I could handle two Pies, but three Pies were pushing it, "She's, you know, not like you guys right?"

"Of course not," answered Inky, "She's hot-tempered, a filly of passion, quick to act, enjoys showing off, and highly distrustful of others. Poor girl, I should've raised her right."

"It's only because of you that she's like that. You didn't have to move her out to Canterlot, mother could've raised her properly-"

"At that desolate, depressing rock farm?" Inky finished indignantly, "Hardly the place to raise children."

"Anywhere is better than Canterlot, especially with the kind of treatment you gave her-"

"I treated her like a princess," Inky snapped, her temper reaching its limit, "She had everything she could possibly want!"

"And you don't see how psychotic that is?" Pinkie asked, stepping forward, glaring at her elder sister, "If somepony has everything, then nothing is valuable. She should've stayed with me."

"Hardly. You aren't exactly the motherly type and I am the eldest, Blinky is my legal responsibility, Celestia knows that mother was incapable of raising her."

"Wait, wait, wait," I stepped in, trying to stop this heated argument, "This is neither the time nor place for this. Shouldn't we be concentrated on finding Blinky?"

The two mares stopped and looked at me with their calculative eyes. I was uneasy being under the scrutiny of the Pie Girls, but I had displayed a cool and confident expression, making sure not to be intimidated by them.

Inky was the first to secede, she backed off and scoffed lightly, "Your assistant is right-"

"I'm not her assistant, I'm her friend," I corrected.

"We should focus our energies on Blinky," she finished.

"Right, come on, let's go upstairs." Without waiting for us, Pinkie had already headed toward the stairs. Inky and I followed suit.

We made our way into her room, and, to my surprise, it was perfectly normal. Without her crazy diagram, this place seemed pleasantly unremarkable. Her bed was pushed off to the left wall, as if sleeping hadn't mattered, a dresser by the window, over to the right was a pile of strange contraptions; her inventions. Opposite of her bed sat a large table; atop it were messes of paper strewn over it to the extent where it no longer resembled a table but rather a pile of trash.

It was messy, but clean at the same time. Everything was in its proper place, her papers, her case files, her inventions, etcetera, etcetera. We stepped in closer as Pinkie went off to the back, into her closet and rummaged a little bit before emerging holding a small box in her mouth.

Dropping the box on the bed, she opened it up and spilled the contents out. More paper came out but these were sentimental artifacts rather than informative. Here I saw an essay Pinkie wrote when she was in grade school, earning her a grade of C (but earned a remark toward her expansive imagination), there were old photos of Pinkie as a young filly along with one remarkable photo of another mare.

It wasn't Pinkie or Inky, I had guessed it was their mother. She was pure white with long greenish hair that, unlike the Pie sisters, was straight and elegantly done. She was quite young in this photo, I would say around the same age Pinkie was presently. They didn't look very similar; her cutie mark was a trio of rocks while Pinkie's was an eccentric one of balloons. She wasn't smiling as wide as Pinkie, but held a small, playful smile toward the camera, as if asking the camerapony to hurry things up. There was a certain mischievous gleam in her eyes that I had recognized on Pinkie whenever she got in the pranking mood, but, the only thing that convinced me that this mare was her mother were the eyes.

Like Inky and Pinkie, she held a curious look in her eyes. As if she were thinking of a million and four things at the same time, she had that same look of brilliance that would've convinced me that she was a detective or a police officer.

“Bellamena Pie,” Inky supplied, “Our dear mother.”

“She’s… beautiful,” I said.

Pinkie pulled out another photo and showed it to us. Inky smiled at this photo while Pinkie grimaced, as if it brought back bad memories.

There stood a family of ponies in front of a farm; the mare from the first picture, an unknown stallion, and three young fillies. I recognized Pinkie and Inky instantly but couldn't believe my eyes. Pinkie was so young there, her mane was straight and depressed, a sad look was present in her eyes and her flank was blank (not that I was looking at it).

Beside their mother stood a tall, somewhat good-looking stallion; he looked nothing like anypony there, his coat was a caramel brown, his mane gray, his eyes of an exhausted orange, and his cutie mark of a pickaxe.

Inky stood beside Pinkie, slightly taller but still quite young. Her mane was also straight and she was cutie markless. And to Inky's left side was a smaller filly, much younger than the two sisters. Her curious brown eyes, her light blue coat and mane indicated that she was their younger sister. I almost frowned when I recognized the look in her eyes, the same look every other mare in that family had; the famous Pie look of quiet brilliance.

"Blinkamena Iris Pie," Inky answered my silent question.

"Interesting choice of names," I remarked.

"After father's passing, I had moved everypony to Canterlot to stay with me. Of course, Pinkie was resolute at staying in Ponyville," she looked at me with raised eyebrows, as if to say I was the reason, "Mother and Blinky hated Canterlot. But, it was a much better living than that rock farm. Mother didn't need to worry over anything, really, with the nature of my job-"

"What is it you do anyways?" I asked.

Inky stared at me with a slight frown, but smiled when she said, "I am…. The Princess's consult when things get serious. I help Celestia out when she is in a bind."

"It is never really clear what she does," added Pinkie, "She's so far up in the government you could say that she is the government."

I wanted to protest that Celestia was the highest authority, but Pinkie's tone suggested that she was not speaking hyperbolically.

"Minor trifle," remarked Inky, "Anyhow. With mother and Blinky being taken care of, all was well, no? But, like mother, Blinky was quite… rebellious. She had never properly adjusted to Canterlot life, and hated the place. You know how it goes, fillies always get rather rowdy at a certain age."

I certainly didn't know, to be honest, I spent my fillyhood as the Princess's personal pupil. I hadn't had time for rebellion or rowdiness unless I was to be graded on it.

"Four days ago, my mother had left the grounds of my manor. It was an overt task, maids and butlers saw her leave, but she hadn't returned in two days' time-"

"What?" Pinkie interrupted, "Mom is gone too?"

"I had sent my best ponies to search for her," Inky insisted.

"Why didn't you tell me?" demanded Pinkie.

"I simply couldn't leave the office for too long, not when the diamond dogs are getting restless- ah, but, that's none of your business. Blinky left two days after, she was a little sneakier than our mother. Snuck out in the middle of the night, completely evading the guards."

"You sound impressed," I noted.

Inky shook her head, "No, no, merely disappointed at how our younger sister could be so… reckless."

"She's out to search for mother," Pinkie deduced, "Simple! We find Blinky, we'll find mom as well!"

Scrunching up her eyebrows, Inky frowned like Pinkie said something offensive, "Do you really think Blinky would be able to find mother before my ponies could?"

"I'd bet on it," affirmed Pinkie.

It was odd to see just how much faith she had in her sister. Then again, Pinkie was, if anything, an optimistic mare. She never failed to hold her ideals strongly, despite my status as her lowly assistant, she held me to high regards; undeserved if you ask me.

"So," I chimed in, "We should, ah, head to Canterlot? Try to gather some clues as to where she would go, right?"

"Canterlot, no. I have a better destination in mind!" Pinkie's eyes lit up, in the same fashion as when she got excited, or stuck, on a case, and she ran across the room and out of the door, leaving Inky and myself alone.

"Was she like that as a filly?" I muttered half-rhetorically to Inky.

The gray mare smiled nostalgically, "Yes, whenever she got excited about anything, there would be no stopping her."

That much certain I can attest to. Whenever she set her mind on something, Pinkie would devote all of her energy (which was nearly infinite) to it, if she wanted to throw the biggest bash since the Grand Galloping Gala, she'd do it, or if she wanted to solve a really difficult case, she'd do it; there would be no distractions.

Then, Pinkie poked her head inside and looked at us strangely, "Aren't you silly fillies coming? Come on! The game, my dears, is ahoof!"

We took off in Inky's private chariot, much fancier than anything I had used during my time spent in Canterlot. The ride was spent in silence, however, as the Pie sisters mulled over their options while I stood rather awkwardly at the other end.

"If not Canterlot," I said suddenly, breaking the silence, "Then where are we going?"

"We're going to the only place my sister, and mother, would be, my dear Twilight," Pinkie explained enigmatically, "Los Pegasus."

The flight to Los Pegasus was much shorter than I had anticipated. Perhaps the fact that Inky and I had played I-Spy the entire time made everything go by much faster. When we reached it, a large city had opened up before us.

Personally, being a Canterlot pony myself, I wasn't very impressed with Los Pegasus. But it was still lovely, especially when compared to the relatively tiny Ponyville. The buildings were modern and large, no skyscrapers however, and everything was just so big.

In Canterlot, and Ponyville, everything was so close by. You could walk down a random street and come across multiple stores and venues, but here everything was a bit confusing. The points of interests and locations were so spread out, and everypony sauntered about without a care in the world.

Why would Pinkie's mother be in a place like this?

"What next?" I asked.

"First, we need to find the starting line," explained Pinkie, "Then, we follow the trail from there."

I knew that if I had asked what she was referring to she would look at me with a strange expression. Following Pinkie's line of thought had proved to be incredibly difficult, even despite our friendship. It wasn't surprising or novel when Pinkie did something completely random then have it suddenly become relevant later on.

Quietly, the three of us traveled across town in seemingly random directions. Ponies were giving us strange looks as we passed through. Whispers and rumors echoed as we trotted down the street. The Pie Sisters were seemingly oblivious to the amount of attention we were attracting; they sauntered around as if they owned the place.

"Why are they looking at us like that?" I asked.

"We stand out, of course," answered Inky, "It's no surprise, considering our reputation."

A filly with her mother approached us. She was a tiny unicorn with a black as coal coat and silver mane and tail. Her flank was blank. She grinned at us with unbridled foallike enthusiasm, levitating a piece of paper and pen toward Pinkie.

"Can I, um, have your autograph?" the filly asked.

"Me?" Pinkie gasped, pointing at herself, "Silly filly, I haven't done anything special!"

The filly shook her head. "I've read the stories. You're the amazing detective aren't you? The one who found Princess Platinum's tiara. And the one who figured out who stole Princess Celestia's cake, and also the one who-"

"Yes, yes I am that pony," interrupted Pinkie with a wide smile. "But I'm not that great. I'm just a silly old pony who likes to play detective."

"No, you're amazing!" the filly insisted, "I want to be like you when I grow up!"

Pinkie laughed and patted the filly's mane affectionately. Then, she took her paper and kindly autographed it. The filly looked so happy, she acted as if she had just gotten her cutie mark.

"And you're Twilight Sparkle?" she asked, turning to me with an equally large smile, "Her companion?"

Stifling a laugh, I nodded. "Something like that. Though, I'd prefer the term friends."

"Yep!" Pinkie wrapped her leg around me, gripping me in a half-hug, "She's my bestest friend!"

I blushed, and not because the filly then asked me to give her my autograph. Embarrassingly, I signed her paper and gave her a warm smile.

"Thank you so, so much!" the filly squealed.

They left us, the filly hopping gleefully alongside her mother, unable to believe that she met the great Pinkie Pie and her "companion" Twilight Sparkle.

It was endearing to find that we had fans, though, quite frankly, a bit strange. Even more so to think that our fans were fillies, I wasn't aware that the young took an interest in autobiographical detective stories.

"I didn't know you had fans," Inky remarked with a smile.

"Me neither," admitted Pinkie.

Although the readership to these published works has been moderately good so far, I had no idea that it extended this far with a broad audience. Pinkie's nickname, Equestria's Great Detective, was something the publishers at Canterlot thought of to draw more readers, I didn't know it was a literal title.

We continued onward through the relatively mild streets of Los Pegasus, until we found outside in an open clearing, at the city's outskirts. The plain was beautiful and a stark contrast from the industrialized city we were in minutes ago. A forest sat ahead of us and all around you could simply feel the nature.

Taking a deep breath, the scent of grass assailed me.

"Why here?" I asked.

"This is where the trail begins," answered Pinkie. "Look."

She pointed past the clearing and into the forest. I squinted, unable to spot anything save a few stray branches and a bunny here and there, nothing that resembled a starting line.

Then, I saw it. Coming out of the forest and into the clearing was a large caravan. It was bloated, like an obese elephant. Purple and green covered the outside as a group of slovenly ponies pulled the carriage. The ponies looked like they lived in the forest for ages, completely divorcing themselves from civilization.

They wore brown rags and torn hats, covered their cutie marks and wore many beads around their necks. Some of them carried trinkets and charms, ancient runes it seemed.

"Gypsies," supplied Pinkie, "They're here to show us the way."

We had gotten together with this traveling band of gypsies; they were an extended family it seemed. Dozens of ponies poured out of the caravan, ranging from foals to ponies wizened with age, their backs bent and manes grayed to indicate extreme age. None of them were particularly bothered by us; the fillies were interested in the fact that none of us wore anything, but they all kept to themselves.

In fact, the more we walked through this camp, the more I noticed that there were some gypsies that refused to make eye contact with us. None of them gave their names and none of them asked for ours. They weren't hostile, but there was a sense of impeding dread, as if we were at the threshold of violence if we pushed their limits.

"Gypsies?" I asked, careful to keep my voice low.

"Traveling ponies. They don't like to conform to societal conventions and generally keep to themselves," said Inky.

"No, I know what a gypsy is. But I mean, why are we asking them for help? Didn't you just say they kept to themselves?"

"They'll help," answered Pinkie, "After all, I was a gypsy at one point. And so was mother."

I stopped. Mouth agape, I gave Pinkie a quizzical expression. Pinkie Pie? A gypsy? The thought was as strange as Pinkie Pie as a librarian!

"The Gypsy Bard, they called me," Pinkie explained, "It was before I officially settled in Ponyville. I know how gypsies work, and knowing my mother, she'll have probably come across them."

I looked toward Inky who nodded in agreement, "Father never approved, but the three of us were traveling gypsies, spent months on the road going nowhere." She explained it as if she hated being a gypsy.

"What did they call you?" I asked with a sly smile. If Pinkie was the Gypsy Bard, an appropriate title, mind you, then I wondered what Inky would be.

"The Ice Pony," answered Inky with a devilish smile.

"Oh… nice name." I didn't want to think about how she got her title.

"Ah, here we are," she gestured toward the last carriage, a small and humble vehicle with blue and red covers. The ponies around this carriage were much more docile than the ones we saw earlier.

"Is Sirin in?" asked Pinkie. They glanced over to her lazily, with their distant eyes and bored frowns, I wasn't sure how helpful they would be to a bunch of wondering ponies.

"Who asks?" a female voice asked. Turning, I saw a relatively elder pony stepping out of the carriage. Her coat was gray, her mane white, but her eyes shone with a youthful intelligence that spoke volumes on her integrity. She wore a bright purple coat and a necklace of an eagle; her cutie mark was of three brilliant stars.

"Pinkamena Diane Pie," Pinkie answered, "The Gypsy Bard."

The Unicorn Range (2)

"Fortune telling," Inky explained. "Is something these gypsies have made particularly famous these days."

I frowned at her skeptically.

"Don't worry, it isn't those cheap types of fortunes you would buy at the store, or something. It's legitimate," she promised, "Though it isn't very wide-spread, there are only a few ponies that have the gift."

"The gift?" I took a sip of the tea the gypsies gave us, bleh, too bitter.

"The gift to be able to see into the schism," she explained, "The schism around reality and the universe. Everything that is or ever will be."

I frowned at her skeptically again.

"At least, that's what the culture believes. The belief was originally based on unicorn magic, the first gypsies were unicorns and usually marveled other ponies with their magic," she continued. It had been five minutes since Pinkie went with Sirin.

Inky had explained that gypsy were superstitious and often didn't like strangers, which is why I was left out of the conversation. Inky stayed behind to keep me company even though she was invited as well. While we waited, Inky taught me a lot about gypsy culture and how she lived when she was with them.

Although, I was curious as to why Inky didn't go with Pinkie. I mean, it was her mother involved as well, shouldn't she be hearing the same thing as well? Was Inky not that concerned or was she genuinely being nice to me?

Don't misunderstand; Inky was a very kind and cordial mare. But I always felt as though she was holding back. As though she was somehow disturbed by my presence, like she couldn't make out what kind of pony I was to her sister.

"Do you believe in it?" I asked.

Inky looked at me. It was midafternoon by now but within the deep forest, the sun was nearly out. We sat by a campfire and in the harsh light, Inky's dark mane look ghostly silver. Her eyes were glassy yet stormy at the same time.

"Maybe," she said, "But that life is behind me now. I've business with the princess. There is no time for whimsical fantasies."

She turned away and for a brief moment, I heard the pain in her voice. It was only a theory but… perhaps Inky didn't want to be the mature and responsible older sister, and that she wanted to go have adventures like Pinkie or Blinky. But she had to do it, otherwise who else would?

"Inky, I-"

"Whew! Thanks Madam Sirin!" Pinkie called as she exited the tent with a bright smile on her face. She trotted toward us and grinned from ear to ear, "Guys, I've got great news. Uh, hey, what's wrong?"

I must have been grimacing because she looked at me when she said that. Forcing a smile, I shook my head, "Nothing. What did she tell you?"

"Mom has been through here. She didn't say where she was going, but she was headed north. Madam Sirin's best guess would be the Unicorn Range." She shrugged, plopping down between Inky and I. "We won't be able to make it there by morning. So, we'll have to catch a train north the first thing tomorrow."

"Excellent," Inky said, "We have a plan then."

"Hardly, we're going to a place we aren't sure your mother is at, hoping that your sister is as clever as you to follow," I reminded them, "It's a shot in the dark."

"But it's the only one we've got," insisted Pinkie.

"Sure, but can't we ask the princess for help?"

"The princess doesn't have any time to go into personal matters," answered Inky in a stern voice, "She's far too busy at the moment."

It bugged me how much Inky knew about Celestia, but I just nodded. "Fine. Then we're staying here for the night?"

"Yep!" Pinkie had pulled out a stick with a dozen marshmallows, holding it out into the camp fire, where she got the marshmallows, I'll never know. "Madam Sirin offered us a tent." She pointed at a small tent to the back; it didn't look like it could fit three ponies.

"So… got any stories?" I asked.

It was an hour before the Pie sisters went to bed. We spent the time sharing ghosts stories and sharing marshmallows, even Inky looked like she was having a good time. Seeing Inky like that was nice, it reminded me of how she looked when we first met. With that wide smile and rapid-fire way of talking, compared to her cold and calculative personality, seeing her smile was much better.

"Uh, you guys go on ahead," I said as they went into the tent, "I gotta go do something."

Pinkie nodded before entering the tent. I turned to Madam Sirin's tent, took a deep breath, and walked in.

I wasn't sure what the etiquette was for entering a gypsy's tent, so I just awkwardly stuck my head in and said, "Knock, knock?"

"Ah, Miss Sparkle." Madam Sirin was sitting in the middle of her tent. Dozens of ornaments were hung throughout the interior, in front of her was a crystal ball. Not those fake ones, a real crystal ball. It must have been enchanted because within it was purple swirls that emanated to the surface, giving it a scary glow. "For what do I owe this visit?"

The way she spoke was kindly and respectful, like she didn't mind that I just rudely intruded on… whatever it was she was doing. She reminded me of my zebra friend, Zecora; oh, by the way, I have a zebra friend, her name's Zecora.

"I was actually wondering, you know, since you can tell fortunes, if you can see anything in my, well, future?" I was stammering awkwardly and stupidly, but Sirin just smiled and nodded, beckoning me to take a seat across from her.

"Why this interest in your fortune?" she asked, "From what I heard, you are a pony of logic and science."

"Well, after hanging out with Pinkie for a while, I learned that it helps to have an open-mind about things," I admitted, recalling the crazy stuff with her Pinkie sense and how illogical it was.

"I see," Sirin smiled and held out her hoof, "Well, let's just see your hoof dear."

I gave her my hoof.

"Oh my!" the gypsy cried as she held my hoof, "I have never seen such things in anypony before! Your life will be thrown into chaos, as awesome yet dangerous situations will turn up frequently! You will encounter the mare with two smiles and find out her true purpose, the Pony of Time will meet you, and you will even combat the king that bathes in black fire, and, my dear filly, you will find the true meaning of the sunburst! Nopony I've encountered has ever had such negativity in their lives, my dear, what is it that you do?"

I sheepishly smiled, to be honest, all of what she was telling me hadn't really registered in my mind yet. Call me distracted, but I was mostly focused on something else.

"Um, detective stuff, but, uh, I don't really care about any of that," I admitted, "Is there anything about other stuff? Like, and I'm just spit-balling here, love?"

Sirin recoiled, her eyes wide and mouth agape. I could understand why, she just told me that my life would be filled with misery and life-threatening situations but I just blindly asked about romance. She must really think I was some little filly who didn't know any better.

My mood deflated with that happy thought and a sad frown came upon my face. She must have noticed because she immediately brightened and said, "O-oh! Love, yes, I can see it clearly here. Look at the romance line in your hoof," she pointed at a random spot on my hoof, "Yes, it is very strong dear. It seems you hold unrequited feelings toward an oblivious pony. But, if you keep your feelings true and honest, they will eventually see it."

I had a feeling she was only saying that to make me feel better, but her calming and encouraging tone made me smile. I wasn't the most hopeful when it came to romance, I mean, I understood the biological and psychological affects love would have on someone; but other than that I was blind. If anypony could help, it could definitely be her.

"But what if they never see it?" I asked.

"That is one of the greatest mystery with love, my dear," Sirin smiled, as if she understood my plight. "One that everyone must go through, for their love. If it weren't for love, my dear, then life could not be as beautiful."

I nodded dumbly. Hearing Madam Sirin speak was a bit humbling, I always thought of myself as intelligent but all of my books and knowledge could not compare to Sirin's wisdom. I felt like I was being schooled again in terms of experience, but her wistful manner of speaking definitely resembled someone who went through the battle for love… and lost.

"So, how long have you known Pinkie, dear?" she asked.

I reddened. "Oh, oh, you know, for a little bit," I winced, whenever I got embarrassed or tried to lie, my voice would get higher pitched. I wasn't as bad as Applejack, but I have been known to resemble a tea kettle when I spoke.

"Hmm," she smiled knowingly, "And how long have you had these feelings for her?"

"I-, well, no- you see, it isn't like that- but- I-" taking a look at her face, I knew that there was no point in trying to lie to her, "Maybe the day after I met her?"

Sirin chuckled as she waved her hoof over her crystal ball. The smoke inside changed until it resembled a purple unicorn standing alongside a bouncing pink earth pony; Pinkie and I.

"I've known Pinkie since she was a little filly," Sirin started, "And she was always brilliant. Always bouncing about and singing. Her detective skills were sharp even then, she could always tell everything about ponies from a single look. But she was always a little dull when it came to affection. You see, Pinkie sees everypony in the world as her best friend and treats them with love and integrity."

That certainly was true. Pinkie was the type of pony to go through great lengths to befriend somepony even if they never showed interest in friends. One of the reasons she is so well-liked is because of her charisma, she memorizes every little detail about everypony, like their birthday or favorite foods. Pinkie was a social pony and I was far from that.

"But don't worry, even the great detective will be able to pick up on your feelings sooner than later," she promised, "Just keep at it."

Hearing her words certainly reassured me, but I couldn't help feeling a bit down. She knew so much about Pinkie and I knew next to nothing. I didn't even know she had sisters much less was a former gypsy. I thanked Sirim with a polite smile and left her tent. Pinkie was still up by the time I got to our tent.

"Hey, did you sort everything out?" Pinkie asked with that infuriatingly kind smile of hers.

"Yeah, I did." I grinned at her before taking my spot between the Pie sisters and drifted off in a dreamless sleep.

When I awoke, it wasn't a pleasant awakening. Inky was shaking me. "Hurry Twilight, the train will be here soon."

Stepping out of the tent, I expected to be greeted by the morning sun but it was still dark out. Lighting up my horn with a simple light spell, I searched past the dense trees to find the stars still out. It looked around dawn, but still, that was insanely early!

"Girls, why are we up so early?" I asked, half-miserable, half-tired.

"Early bird gets the worm," answered Pinkie with a glee in her voice. She jumped around the tent to fix it up. We were all alone in the campsite, the caravan had left. Judging from the indentations in the dirt, it was probably a few hours ago. There was only one carriage left, they helped us fix everything up and were kind enough to provide breakfast and give us a ride into town to catch the train.

By the time we arrived at the train station, the sun was almost up. I had enjoyed a nice grass and hay sandwich and was rejuvenated as we waited for the train. My main was probably still a horrible mess, but I was a little excited to be getting to the Unicorn Range.

"According to legend, the Unicorn Range was hazardous land. The ground burned forever, nothing grew, and the most dangerous of creatures lived there. It was guarded by the mythical Python for eons. Until the young Princess Celestia and Princess Luna traveled there and with their magic banished all of the monsters and created a beautiful mountain range. The river was like crystal and the hills would sing." I explained excitingly. I've always wanted to see the Unicorn Range, even if the legends weren't true, it was still a beautiful sight.

"I'm not sure how true that story is," admitted Inky, "But Unicorn Range does have a lot of history behind it. It was primarily named after the fact that several nomadic unicorns took residency up there and has protected the range from other ponies with a collective magical barrier. It is said that anypony that tries to cross the barrier will be zapped with powerful magic, vaporized on the spot."

That didn't sound very pleasant. My story of Celestia and Luna was much better, but it was just as Inky said, there is no time for whimsical fantasy; we need to face the harsh reality. If Pinkie's mother and sister were headed here, it must be for a serious reason, especially considering they were both earth ponies.

The train ride was about two hours long. Despite being so hyped up when I woke up, I ended up sleeping. When I came to, I was in Pinkie's hold as she hugged me like a purple teddy bear. It was rather comfortable but after I realized that Inky was awake and laughing at me, I jumped out of Pinkie's legs. When we arrived the area was absolutely desolate.

There was no sign of civilization, all around us there were only rolling hills and a huge mountain range. Inky had told the conductor to stop in-between Smokey Mountain, I don't know how she convinced him to do so, but apparently once she mentioned her name he complied instantly.

It would be a short trek to Unicorn Range. By short, I of course mean it was a five mile walk. It was midday when we reached the end of the mountain range and to an open clearing. We stood at the edge of the clearing, searching for the Unicorn Range; I thought something that big would be really easy to find, but for miles there was nothing but empty plains.

Then I saw it. Shimmering in the horizon a massive set of rolling hills suddenly appeared, I could sense a powerful magic radiating from there, something so powerful that I almost dared not to tread any further.

"Ah, there it is," I announced, pointing at the range, "Only a short walk."

Pinkie and Inky squinted at the horizon and frowned at me. "Where?" Inky asked.

"There's nothing over there," added Pinkie.

"What are you talking about? It's over there," I insisted, pointing at the hills, "It's huge how could you not see it?"

"Twilight, there is nothing there," promised Inky.

"Wait. It might be magic. Remember the stories, a magic barrier surrounding it. Twilight can probably see it because she's a unicorn, a powerful one at that," reasoned Pinkie, "So, you'll have to lead us Twi."

I nodded. It made sense, but it didn't reassure me. If the barrier existed, it probably would be able to vaporize us, let's hope that the stories were only half right. I lead the sisters toward the range, and the closer I got the easier I was able to see it. The range seemingly ran forever, the hills were golden and shined like a million bits in the sun. I could see, several miles away, small villages nestled within the hills, and surrounding it was just lush grasslands.

"Amazing." I exhaled, taking in the sights as they opened up to me.

"Shame we can't see them," reminded Inky.

"Are we getting close?" asked Pinkie, her eyes squinting, "I'm starting to get dizzy."

Inky shook her head, "Ugh, me too."

"It must be the barrier, the closer non-unicorns get the weaker they are," I deduced, it was nice to be in that position for once, "How would I even open the barrier? Is there some sort of key or…"

"Please hurry," moaned Pinkie as she fell on her stomach, "I can't…"

My mind raced. If these two passed out, how would I get them through? I can't exactly carry them back to the train station, what if they wouldn't simply pass out and fall completely ill and die? No, no, I needed to focus. How would someone penetrate a barrier? Think, remember Pinkie's lessons, take in every piece of information about your subject and extrapolate your answer from there, no guessing; Pinkie doesn't guess.

Unicorn Range is pretty old, contemporary accounts places the range before Celestia's reign. The ponies that lived there must be savvy to many types of magic, probably some that were barred by the princess since they live in such a secluded area. Only unicorns are able to see the range and even get near the barrier without feeling any adverse effects.

Conclusion: adding into the fact that this place isn't accessible by train with the fact that its location is so secluded and protected by a magical barrier, explorers or wandering ponies wouldn't be very common. Meaning, they don't have to worry about invasion or unwanted visitors.

Meaning, they would be very surprised if their barrier was suddenly breached.

Charging up my horn, I conjured a simple spell; magical projectile! Putting everything I had into the spell, I let out a roar as a powerful magical bolt shot out toward the barrier. As expected it was deflected and dispersed with absurd ease, but the entire outline of the barrier suddenly flared up, lighting up the world in its bright yellow glow. Everypony in the villages would be able to notice that and, with any luck, I could break through as soon as they come to investigate.

Six explosions thundered all around me. I turned to find that we were surrounded as six unicorns in dark robes charged their horns at me. In a fair fight, I could probably take only four of them at once, but with Inky and Pinkie now thoroughly disposed with, I can't take the chances of a fight.

So, instead, I sat on my flank and maintain a cool expression. "I'm not fighting. I surrender."

Good news: they took us into the Unicorn Range, bad news: even though we were inside the barrier, Pinkie and Inky were still unconscious. Oh, more good news: the magical barrier didn't incinerate us.

The hooded ponies led me into the range, two of them in front of me, and the rest behind me. I was vaguely aware of them levitating the Pie sisters behind us, but I was too distracted by how beautiful this place was. The colors felt more vibrant, the sun brighter, it smelled like nature in here and the villages, oh my, were they amazing. Instead of contemporary design, the villages were designed after ancient architecture. There were Roanian and Grazian styled buildings with Phrench fountains decorating the village square, stone statues of ancient Grazian heroes were scattered throughout the place; I could see Lightning Bolt the Swift standing beside Star Swirled the Bearded. It was amazing, but the more we walked the more nervous I felt.

Something was off. Everypony was dressed strangely. They wore white toga robes or silk dresses, it felt like they were dressing up for some sort of festival, because none of it was modern. This place felt like it was stuck out of time.

And their eyes. Their eyes were so old, much older than their youthful bodies suggested they should be.

Finally, we stopped in front of a very large cave craved out of a hill. It gave me vertigo when I looked at it, because compared to everything else, this cave seemed brand new. I could see modern drilling equipment inside and electrical lights illuminating the cave.

"Wait here," one of the unicorns ordered, his voice was gruff in despite of his slim frame. He trotted in front of me and stood right outside of the cave, his horn lit up a dull green and the entire cave caught fire. Wait, no, the cave just lit up with a brilliant light comparable to staring at the sun. After the light died, he led us in.

"Who are you ponies?" I asked.

No response.

"What's with this village? Why go through great lengths to protect this place? Is the princess aware of this?"

Silence answered me.

"What about Bellamena?" I asked.

The unicorn in front of me looked over his shoulder very subtly. Ah, good, now we were getting somewhere. I smiled as I walked down the cave, I was gaining knowledge so easily that I felt a bit like Pinkie. Confidence filled me, that is, until I saw the digging site.

It was massive, with a large stone platform about thirty meters long and twenty feet tall. There were dozens of unicorns on the platform levitating pickaxes and digging into the earth. None of them wore robes, they were all dirty and ragged from the hard labor, but, with a start, I realized that they were all middle-aged ponies and were terribly malnourished. Their skin was pulled back, making the ribe cage easily noticeable. And what's worse, none of them had cutie marks.

"My Lord," the guide unicorn said to nopony in particular, "The intruders were apprehended."

I squinted, trying to get a look at this Lord. In between the working ponies stepped out a tall unicorn, his fur was midnight black, his mane and tail were bright red; the color of blood. His eyes were so dark they looked like coal, and when he glared at me I had a feeling he was trying to vaporize me with a stare.

"A unicorn, and two earth ponies?" he mused, "How were they even able to get near?"

"They passed out long ago," informed the guide, "They were weak-minded."

"You really better watch your next words," I warned with a hiss.

"Such spirit," remarked the Lord, "In such a tiny body?"

"And who are you supposed to be anyways?" I snapped, "I'm not that great of a detective, but I can guess you aren't anypony nice."

"Lord Stargazer," he introduced with a snake-like smile, "And who are my captives?"

"Sorry, you won't get that information so easily," grinning foalishly at my silly trick.

"No matter," Stargazer muttered. His horn brightened a dull black, causing everypony to wince. I felt his magic overpower my body and literally invade my mind. Eyes widening, I recognized the spell, a mind-reading spell. Quickly, I countered his spell with a mental barrier, my horn glowing causing his magic to disperse instantly. "Impressive, a unicorn with talents, or should I call you Twilight?"

I bit my lips, so he managed to extract the information out anyways.

"So, why are you here Twilight Sparkle with the Pie sisters, Pinkie and Inky?" he asked with a clever smile. I had to resist smiling to let him know that he didn't get the whole story, he didn't know about why we were here, he probably couldn't even connect the fact that Bellamena was their mother.

So, instead, I looked miserable and frowned as if I were annoyed at his mind-reading skills. "Don't worry about that. First, tell me what this is," I gestured to the entire cave, "A mining site? Mining for what?"

I wanted to ask about the workers, I wanted to know why they looked horrible. But I couldn't let him know that I cared about them, what if decided to dispose of them in front of me? Stargazer didn't seem like the type of pony to be below that.

But, as I had predicted, Stargazer refused to answer and just looked at me with an arrogant smile. Huffing, I grimaced. What would Pinkie do? Probably come up with a convoluted plan while at the same time expertly extrapolating Stargazer's entire life story and still have time to bake some cupcakes.

I was no Pinkie, but I knew of her methods.

Shutting my eyes, I had focused on everything I could recall about Unicorn Range.

The magical barrier, the strange villages, the out-of-place citizens, the old archaic buildings and statues of famous ancient ponies all came to mind. The cave/mine was not naturally built, but something this immense had required years upon years of work and dedication. It was certainly not something that was produced within months. The workers… their cutie marks were not there, they looked tired and ragged, as if they worked there for their entire lives.

And finally, Stargazer. His magic was immensely powerful, certainly not something easily achievable. What was the connection? There was something I was missing. Something in the corner of my eye…

Smiling, I opened my eyes and glared triumphantly at Stargazer.

"Unicorn Range," I started, "A strange place, I'll admit. I've only heard stories and myths about this place, some of which involving primarily the princesses-" I noted a sour expression in everypony's face as I mentioned them, but continued, "-But after seeing it, I've concluded, perhaps definitively, that this place is dangerous and something that should no longer exist."

"Oh?" Stargazer growled darkly, "Regal us with your explanation, please."

"Of course," I answered with a smile, although I had to swallow back a bit of anxiety. Even if I was right, it still wouldn't do much in impeding a magical bolt, I needed an escape plan. "Firstly, the magical barrier. Powerful magic at work here, there are several layers of magic over the barrier, they are primarily used in concealing this place with a bit of Misdirection magic sewn into it. Making everypony who isn't a high class unicorn think that the range doesn't exist. If they were to go near it, they would get dizzy and confused and would want to turn away, of course, those who continue will eventually lose consciousness."

I glanced over at the Pie sisters. They were absolutely still but I could see their chests moving steadily, well, that's one problem down.

"Anypony crazy enough to go through the barrier would notice a few peculiarities. Your little, ah, villages, for example. None of them hold any sort of contemporary style, sure, the assumption of them being strictly traditional is entirely possible but not likely in this case. The ancient buildings, the strange ponies, the fact that you are so appear much older than you really are points to one thing really. I mean, it's obvious. The way you hold yourself, your manner of speech, even your name was a dead giveaway…"

Taking a few pointers from the Great Detective herself, I paused for dramatic effect and grinned proudly. "This entirely range is lost in time. Probably cursed so very long ago, forced to become a ghost valley. But why, then, is everypony still alive and well? That brings me to my second point!"

I flourished as I turned on my hooves to broadly gesture to the mine. "What you're mining is highly concentrated and highly complex magical crystals which holds an enormous amount of power in them. Ever since I came to this place, I've noticed my magic has been a little stronger. Artificial augmentation. Those crystals will raise your overall magical ability, but the drawbacks are too extreme. How long have you been using them?"

Stargazer remained silently, his jaw locked and his gaze furious. I dreaded to know exactly how long he had been messing with these crystals, they were too dangerous, that's why they were banned in the Preclassical Era.

"Fine, don't tell me. Just know that these crystals will destroy you eventually. But, I'm not exactly done. So, what does all of this have to do with Bellamena Pie? Simple. She was the wife of a well-trained rock farmer, a perfect candidate in mining for highly volatile crystals underground. Her genius accelerated your progress immensely, which is, of course, typical of the Pie ponies. The only real question is why? Why are you doing all of this?"

"The legends were true," a voice called out from the mine; a sweet voice from which I could practically hear the burden of a great mind weighing down on her. Stepping out from behind Stargazer was a tinier earth pony, her coat was ash white, her mane, formerly beautiful and well coifed, now fell like a curtain over her face. Her eyes weren't obscured however, as they focused on me with laser-like intensity. I could practically see her mind racing at a million miles per hour. She, like the others, wore tattered rags that covered her cutie mark but had done a poor job obscuring her rather graceful figure for an aged pony. Bellamena Pie, Pinkie's mother, glared at me from above.

"Princess Celestia found these wandering unicorns and wept at their weary travels. So, she had promised them refuge, and cleared out the land which was previously of molten rock and jagged mountains. The unicorns were grateful but arrogant. They named the range after them and sought power, for they felt dwarfed before the princess and they feared her. They wished to conquer her, and found a way through the magic crystals."

Despite the severity of the situation, I was still at awe at Bellamena. I stared at her and recognized the similarities between her and Pinkie. They looked almost nothing alike, but the way she spoke, the flourish in her words, the high intelligence in her eyes, all of them easily recognizable. Bellamena had carried herself with such dignity regardless of her outfit, she looked like a princess addressing her subjects, as if standing above others was simply her natural affinity.

"But, the crystals held a curse. If those with clouded hearts were to abuse the power the crystals held, they would be forever poisoned by their greed. This happened to those wanderers as dozens of them fell ill and were close to death. The princess rushed to their aide, but they refused and instead locked themselves away from the word, erecting this magical barrier to keep everypony out. Of course, the princess couldn't do much against these unicorns, as any action would be tantamount to war," Bellamena scowled at Stargazer as he chuckled darkly.

"Yes, your demi-goddess ran away from our barrier, like the filly she was," he added.

"I dare you to call her that again," I hissed, my horn charging with power.

"Oh, please," he scoffed, "I am hundreds of years old, what could you do against me dear?"

Somewhere in my rage-filled mind, my logical side of me screamed at me to act rationally. He was right. He outclassed me in terms of experience and raw power, I wouldn't be able to do much against him much less if his lackeys decide to help. And what of the Pie girls? I couldn't save them all while defending myself from these unicorns.

Stargazer walked us right into our graves.

"So, tell me dear. How should I kill you and your-"

"The workers!" I blurted out. He raised an eyebrow and me and frowned. Giggling nervously, I looked at the tired old workers and back at Stargazer. "Why are they cutie markless?"

"What?" he asked.

"They're adult ponies, some much older, obviously, but none of them have their cutie marks. Why?"

"They aren't real ponies," he answered turning to one of them, "Flash clones. Fabricated through my magic. Look."

He zapped one of the workers with a bright purple light. The poor clone shuddered and danced from his magic before exploding in a puff of purple smoke.

"See? They aren't even proper ponies."

"Then, I suppose you don't mind if I do this!"

My horn lit up brilliantly and a flare shot from it, lighting up the world like a miniature sun as it came close to Stargazer. It temporarily blinded him and it gave me the opportunity I needed. Quickly, I had teleported beside Bellamena, wrapped my leg around her, and teleported back to the ground. By the time I had made the trip back, the light had died down and Stargazer roared, "STOP THEM!"

I bit back a curse. I knew that my trick wouldn't last for very long, but I had hoped it would've gave me enough time to make an escape. Turning, I faced the unicorns who growled darkly at us. But, I didn't need to do anything. Pinkie and Inky sprung to action, leaping to their hooves and took the unicorns by surprise.

I had always thought of Pinkie as a non-violent pony, I never even saw her get angry at anypony. But I learned that she was certainly a force to be reckoned with. Like a tornado, Pinkie spun elegantly around the unicorns; knocking them on their flanks as she flipped them over and kicked them. Inky wasn't too bad either, managing to keep up with her younger sister. And before I knew it, all of the unicorns were disposed of.

Stargazer growled evilly from above and I heard him charging a spell. Turning, I prepared my own defensive spell to ward off any attack, but before Stargazer could even fire, another unicorn, hidden underneath her robes, had ran past Stargazer and kicked him in the face before jumping down to us.

It had stunned him long enough for us to run. Our little savior sprinted past us. "Run!" she cried.

I didn't ask any questions and just ran.

We all ran for the exit, but it would take ages for us to reach the end and by that time, Stargazer would have caught up with us. I wasn't too eager to go against his magic either.

"Twilight!" Bellamena called out, "Blow up that stalactite!"

She pointed above at a single stalactite, completely out of place in this pony-made cave. I didn't argue the strange occurrence of that structure existing here and blasted it with a magical bolt. The cave rumbled as the stalactite blew up; massive cracks tore through the ground and ceiling as everything began to collapse.

Inky cursed as rocks began to fall on us. We had to dodge and weave the falling rocks. The entire cave was collapsing.

The exit was only a few meters in front of us. But the rock slide was too fast. Making quick calculations in my head, I figured that by the time we actually reached the exit we would be crushed by the rocks.

"Everyone, stay together! I've only got one shot at this!" I cried. Everypony followed my orders and closed the gaps. I concentrated on the most basic of spells; teleportation. It was difficult to do so with the rocks thundering behind us and the prospect of being killed by them so utterly close, but I made do. With a quick crackle of light, my magic enveloped all of us and we were all teleported to safety.

Excellent timing too, because as we reappeared outside, the cave completely collapsed.

I fell to the ground, panting and breathing from overexertion.

"Good job Twi," complimented Pinkie as she got to her hooves and turned to face me and Bellamena. I blushed and smiled, but Pinkie's gaze focused on her mother for a brief moment. Naïvely, I expected Pinkie to smile and hug her mother, glad to finally see her safe and sound, but Pinkie just turned around and faced the village.

"Come on, our work isn't done yet," she said.

"Seriously? Stargazer is trapped there, he isn't getting out!" I complained.

"Don't be silly Twi," she chided, "He is a powerful unicorn, all we did was slow him down a bit and annoy him. We need to bring that barrier of his down, it's keeping this entire range out of time but once it is down, time can catch up to it and everything will be set right."

"First things first, however," interrupted Inky. She stood up and turned to the unicorn who helped us with an angry expression. I wanted to chide Inky for looking so upset with our savior, but she flipped back the unicorn's hood to reveal a tiny earth pony. Her coat was light blue and her gray mane was as wild and curly as Pinkie's. Her brown eyes shone with a mixture of apprehension and intelligence. "Blinkamena Selene Pie, how could you be so stupid and reckless running after mother like that?"

"What do you mean? You two did the exact same thing!" Blinky argued, her voice taking me by surprised. It was completely different from the other Pie girls. She had a heavy Canterlot accent, one tinged with an aristocratic cadence. "At least I didn't get knocked out."

"We were only pretending to be unconscious," countered Inky, "And besides that, you're just a filly, you should be home now!"

"Now, Inky, there is no need to raise your voice," chided Bellamena.

"Mother, if you could, stay out of this. You're no better."

"Excuse me?"

"You are most certainly not. You're our mother, you should exercise more caution than that. What sort of example are you setting for little Inky?"

"I am not little," interrupted Inky, "And I am not a filly. I can handle myself just fine, sister dear."

"Enough!" I yelled, stopping this incessant argument. Even if we weren't in a dangerous situation, these three are family, they shouldn't be yelling at each other, they should be happy that they are all safe and sound; isn't that why they were all so desperate to find each other? "If you hadn't noticed, we happen to be in a precarious situation that doesn't call for arguing! You can all settle your issues when we're back home! Right now, we need to get out of here and follow Pinkie who, by the way, just ran off a few moments ago, so come on!"

They all looked at me strangely and again I felt anxious being under the scrutiny of these intelligence ponies. But right now I was too tired and too agitated to even care, so, I returned their stares with a powerful glare of my own. It seemed to impress Bellamena who smiled at me.

"Twilight has a point," she said.

"Thank you."

"But you don't need to yell," she huffed.

"Yeah, I mean, we can hear you Twilight," added Blinky.

"Honestly, you need to be more dignified in your manner Twilight. You are a Canterlot pony, after all," finished Inky. I stood there with my jaw dropped, unable to believe what these frustrating mares were telling me. I needed to be more dignified?!

"Oh, do close your mouth dear. You'll catch flies," advised Bellamena as she walked past me.

I face-hoofed as they left me, I needed to remind myself that I was dealing with the Pie family, so of course they will be difficult to handle. I followed the Pies into the village (perhaps the weirdest sentence I have written). We found Pinkie in the middle of the village at a tower.

"Here is where the barrier is being controlled from," she informed us as we approached. "But, look."

She took a pebble and threw it against the tower, before it could even reach the structure it was vaporized mid-flight; its ashes falling to the earth.

"No physical way to penetrate the structure," remarked Inky.

"The barrier's power is strongest here, meaning it is also the biggest weak point," added Blinky.

"So, once this is taken down, everything will fall, meaning the village will fade," continued Bellamena.

"We'll be affected as well, because we're under the barrier. The plan is simple then, bring this tower down and somehow protect ourselves from the fallout," concluded Pinkie.

It was amazing to watch how the Pies were basically on the same frequency, even though there was still tension amongst the family they were all still thinking the same thing and trusted each other's judgment, for the most part. It wasn't four separate ponies speaking, it was just one mind in four different receptacles.

"My magic is augmented from the crystals as well," I explained. Ever since we got here, I felt extremely strong and had to hold back on my spells in case I accidentally blew something up, it was a strange feeling but at the same time invigorating. "I could take down the tower and right before it blows up, we can make our escape."

"Good, then get started Twi and we'll-"

"INSOLENCE!"

The world exploded. Heat washed over me and blistered my skin as I rolled for all I was worth and tackled Pinkie. My ears rang and nausea knotted my stomach. Looking around, I searched for the other Pies. Inky had covered Blinky and Bella, but looked in terrible condition. Her back looked burnt, her fur was charred and black and her eyes were closed.

Up above, in a literal tornado, was Stargazer. His eyes were like burning coals and he looked like he was trying to shoot lasers from them.

"Did you really think you could get away from me so easily?!" he roared, his voice like thunder shaking the earth.

"Actually, yeah, we kinda did," muttered Pinkie.

"SILENCE GROUND-POUNDER! You beasts of burdens are not suitable to tread the path I walk on!"

"I warned you," I got to my hooves and glared just as evilly as he did, I imagined even my eyes were glowing from my anger. Nopony talks to Pinkie like that. "Now I have to teach you a lesson in manners."

He growled. His horn glowed electric blue, thankfully, I recognized the spell and was able to counter it. A purple bubble appeared around me and deflected his lighting blast away, unfortunately, I wasn't able to calculate where it would go and it collided against the tower, damaging it slightly. Pinkie needed to move from the debris.

Ooh, idea.

"Ponican Cameos!" I yelled to Pinkie, who instantly understood. It was a code-word between us that had many meanings depending on the situation. The primary one being danger! The other being distraction or bluff.

Pinkie ran behind the tower and, as expected, Stargazer turned his glare on her. He shot out another lightning bolt to her. Pinkie was much faster than I expected, because she jumped out at the last moment and the bolt struck the tower. I could see the barrier's integrity drop a little. Good, Stargazer's magic was so powerful it would easily be able to obliterate the barrier and tower.

The thing now is that we needed to keep him away from Inky and the others. If he turned on them, I'm not sure I would be able to help them.

"Heyyy!" Pinkie goaded, "Over here!"

Stargazer roared and zapped at Pinkie who disappeared, letting the bolt strike the tower again. She reappeared on the other side of the tower, "Nope! Over here!"

He fired again but Pinkie was too fast, dodging his magic bolts. It was a good strategy, but Pinkie wouldn't last forever, and with the magically enhancing crystals and the fact that Stargazer is hundreds of years old with all of that experience backing him, I can't see us winning easily. Soon, Stargazer became so agitated with Pinkie's antics and shot a lightning bolt to the sky.

It hit the barrier at its apex and I saw lightning branch out from there, in all directions and headed right for us. It would kill us within seconds.

Thinking fast, I teleported to Inky's side and increased my range bringing them all back toward the tower as we teleported again, right next to Pinkie.

"Get down!" I ordered. Erecting another defensive bubble, I made sure to touch the tower with my hoof. The lightning came down to the earth and electrocuted the entirety of Unicorn Range. But with my defensive bubble, it protected us, however, since I was touching the tower, some of the lightning had hit the tower, completely destroying it.

The bad news, my readers, is that ponies aren't exactly conductive. I felt the electricity go right through my body. It felt like every cell in my body was burning.

I passed out as the tower exploded.

When I came to, Pinkie was looking down at me with concern in her eyes. Pinkie Pie was truly an intellectual amongst normalcy, her vision was straight and true and when she was absorbed in a case or a puzzle, her warm eyes would become cold and distant. She was always kind to me, but I could see that distance in her eyes, when her mind was distracted by a million of other things, it made her feel detached. It was worth the wounds, therefore, when I saw that cold, intellectual mask dim briefly as her very foundation shook, her lips trembling as her concern over my safety became apparent.

She hugged me tightly when I regained consciousness. It was a kind gesture but every muscle on my body ached when she embraced me. I asked about Stargazer and the village and Pinkie showed me. Everything was turned to stone.

The buildings shone with milky white against the light as it looked like it was made completely out of marble. And even some of the pony denizens were stone, all of them trapped in awkward poses, forever under their rocky prison. Even Stargazer hadn't escaped that fate; he was floating in mid-air, his miniature tornado appearing like a giant stone cone as he floated on top of it, in mid-roar, with the integrity of marble.

"Time caught up," Pinkie deduced, "And must've done that to them."

"Are they alive?" Blinky asked.

I shook my head. "No. When time had caught up, they lost their lives microseconds before turning into stone. Painless deaths."

Nopony said anything for a moment there. I mean, it was terrible that these ponies needed to, you know, die because of us. But living like this wasn't natural, it was monstrous. Extending your lives through artificial and dangerous means, that wasn't living; these ponies lost their souls long ago.

We had set off after checking ourselves for injuries.

Inky wasn't very hurt. The burns she got weren't very serious and I had gotten off very lucky. All of the damage I took was superficial, thanks to my magically enhanced horn, it had absorbed all of the electricity and dispelled it against the tower. It still felt like a thousand burning needles poking into my hooves when I walked, but I'll live.

The next eight hours were a blur. We caught a train to Los Pegasus where Inky had called Canterlot for a chariot escort. From there, Blinky and Bella explained their stories to us. Bellamena had found this place years ago when she was a gypsy and the unicorns took them in. She had helped out their mining exhibition with her rock expertise but they wanted to keep her there indefinitely. Escaping from there, Bella went back home without hearing any word from the unicorns for a good twenty years.

She had received several warnings from the gypsy group in Los Pegasus, claiming that the unicorns were growing restless and finding ways to escape their time prison. Bella needed to investigate to put a stop to it, which is why she traveled back to Unicorn Range. Blinky then explained how she found her way to Los Pegasus by finding Bella's trail to the gypsies and managed to sneak her way inside Unicorn Range.

"The barrier was powerful," she had explained, "But it wasn't strong enough to vaporize anything that came close to it."

Apparently, since the magical barrier was spread so thinly that it grew weaker at its boarders but stronger at its origin: the tower. Blinky nearly passed out as she sprinted past the barriers, the unicorns never suspected her when she took their clothes and stuck around to find Bella. Pinkie and Bella both looked very impressed at Blinky's ingenuity but Inky, being the most responsible mare here, chided the filly for being so reckless. But, before Blinky could argue back, the elder sister had hugged her, stating that she was very happy that they were okay.

It was a sweet scene, but my exhaustion wouldn't allow me to enjoy it. I passed out during the flight back to Canterlot and when we actually got there, it was night out.

Pinkie hugged Bella and Blinky as they said their goodbyes. I asked what Inky was going to explain to the princess about this whole mess, but she just waved her hoof and said, "Minor trifle. I will be able to explain everything to the princess, no need to worry."

"Do you really have to go?" asked Blinky with those innocent-looking eyes of hers.

"We have to get back to Ponyville as soon as possible," admitted Pinkie with a half-hearted grin.

"Nonsense!" cried Bella, "There is plenty of room at the manor. Stay here for the night!"

"Nah. I don't think Inky would appreciate that," explained Pinkie before all three of them turned to her with puppy-dog expressions. Inky's composure crumbled quickly.

"Of course you can stay…" she muttered under her breath.

Pinkie and Inky tackled their sister with their combined hug.

"So, you're Twilight Sparkle. Princess Celestia's personal student?" Bella asked with an impressed expression. I got the feeling she wasn't asking me about my grade-point average and wanted to ask about my friendship toward Pinkie.

"Y-yes," I answered.

"Impressive. The princess doesn't pick just anypony to teach. But, I'm wondering, if you're her great student then what are you doing in Ponyville playing detective?" Again, I got the feeling she was asking why I was with Pinkie instead of pursuing my studies here in Canterlot.

"I sorta fell into the business with Pinkie," I admitted, "And stuck with her since then… Nothing more."

"Really?" she raised an eyebrow, her tone was somewhat disappointed, "Hm. Well, I hope to be hearing more about your, ah, escapades with Pinkie. And don't mind her, she's a little dull when it comes to most things, but she'll get the idea after a little while."

I blushed, and promised that she could catch up with our adventures if she read my stories when they were published. And after thoroughly embarrassing myself, I followed Inky into the manor.

After a bath fit for royalty and getting fixed up, I was ready to collapse. I walked into the guest room where I saw Pinkie fresh from her bath as well. I tried not to focus on her wet fur or how her mane was straight and draped over her back as I took my seat beside her.

"What's wrong?" I asked. Usually, Pinkie would be ecstatic after solving a case, especially since it involved her own family. But she looked distracted and almost… perplexed by something.

"Gypsies they don't travel out of a certain bubble, they usually gravitate to certain places and don't leave that orbit. So, my question, is how would gypsies living near Los Pegasus be able to get a message to Canterlot?" Pinkie asked, her brow furrowed and expression inquisitive.

"Maybe they got somepony to send it for them?" I suggested, "I mean, it seemed urgent."

"I dunno…" she mumbled, "It doesn't make sense. I'm missing something, something staring at me right in the face that I'm not getting."

"Well, look, it's all right. Your mom and sister are all fine, there isn't any need to worry over small details." I placed my hoof on her shoulder, trying to reassure her. "Right now, we should get some rest."

Pinkie looked like she wanted to think about it some more but decided against it. Instead, she grinned widely, picked up a pillow, and smacked it against my head laughing.

"Pillow fight?" she asked.

"Oh. It. Is. On!"

In the back of my mind, however, even I was concerned about Pinkie's thoughts. But, no matter what the challenge, I knew that my friend, Pinkamena Diane Pie, could handle it.

How I Figured Out The Trick

I looked at Pinkie for the umpteenth time today. She gave me a strange look, and I turned away, snickering all the while. I couldn't help but feel particularly ecstatic. Recall the triumphant moments you, my fine readers, go through every day. Like acing a particularly difficult test, or culling a nasty individual that plagued your life for quite some time. Imagine that feeling times one hundred and you might be able to replicate my feelings at that moment.

My regular readers would note my friend, Pinkie Pie's, remarkable deductive powers and how she utilizes such powers in her detective work to solve even the most complex of cases. Her skills were so great she could see through you in an instant and figure out your entire life story from a single glance. I have always wondered how Pinkie acquired such skills, but, my ponderings on those were for a later occasion, as I have perfectly emulated Pinkie's abilities myself!

In the last published case, concerning the disappearance of a former gypsy Bellamena Pie, I was placed in a precarious situation and was forced to use my wit in order to escape with my life. No matter how hard I try to recall, I cannot remember what my mind was going through at that moment. Everything was a blur, but I do remember when I essentially channeled Pinkie's skills and acted as a detective for brief moments.

Now then, my dear readers and the ponies at the Strand Magazine, I have discovered the secrets behind Pinkie's little trick!

I took another sparse glance at the famed detective before breaking out in a huge smile. Pinkie raised an eyebrow at me. "What's wrong?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing," I off-hoofedly answered. "I was just, you know, reviewing my notes of our escapades these past few weeks."

"Oh?" She returned with a slight bemused tone, "And what are your findings?"

"That you're right."

"What?"

"Anypony can do what you do, all it takes is a focused mind is all." I spoke so leisurely and casually in a deliberate manner, just to emphasize how significant my words were. An outside observer would claim I was being arrogant. I respectfully disagree.

"Really?" Pinkie smiled coyly, "Go on then, regal me with your newfound skills Twi."

I looked at her once more and quickly confirmed my findings before fully turning to her with a coy smile of my own. "You were distressed this morning when you came over here."

"Really? Pinkie gasped, "How did you arrive at that?"

"Everypony may be quick to call you unkempt, but your hygiene is exceptional! You would never allow yourself to slip into such a slovenly state," I answered, referring to Pinkie's disheveled mane and dirty coat.

"Clever!" she praised, "Your eyes are keen Twi, go on."

"The reason behind it is elementary. Your dental appointment with Colgate had been moved to an earlier time. The papers you carry are addressed from her."

"Amazing!"

"Inky has asked you to investigate something, the mare is smart, yes, but she is horribly lazy and would rather you do the legwork instead of her. The books you are currently studying are concerning domestic animals and their movement patterns. Other than that, I can't see anything else," I concluded proudly.

"As always, nothing escapes you Twi," Pinkie complimented with a warm smile, "You're infinitely clever and perceptive. But, as always, you over-analysis everything."

I stepped back, staggered as if by a physical blow. "What?"

"You see but don't observe," she chided, "You're clever for noticing those details, but your deductions were off. The reason I was so disheveled was because I was at Fluttershy's cottage earlier, digging through the burrows her pets make looking for a pet of Colgate's. In the papers addressed from her were details about the pet, and your books were used as reference."

Suddenly humbled, I frowned as my face heated up and tapped the floor tentatively. Pinkie chuckled as she cupped my cheek and lifted my head up slightly so that she could look at me. Her eyes were the brightest of blue and shined innocently yet held so much wisdom behind it.

"You're smart Twilight, it doesn't take somepony like me to figure that out."

"If I can't make a few simply deductions, what right do I have to be called smart?" I countered curtly.

Pinkie then glared at me, an act so uncharacteristic that I nearly winced at the sight. "Don't you say that Twi. You're the smartest pony I know, smarter than me definitely! The knowledge you have is amazing! You just can't focus on the tinier details, which is my specialty, you can focus on the bigger picture and go from there. Something that is of great value to me, not only as a friend but as a partner as well."

I reddened instantly from her words until I realized she meant work partner.

"You constantly underrate yourself Twi, but you shouldn't sell yourself short. You may not have the detective chops, although you are sharper than others in that regard, you are, for me, the conductor of light that I need by my side." She hugged me tightly. "And besides, you were correct in one aspect, Twi."

"What was that?" I asked, dizzy from her hug and compliments.

"I was a bit distressed this morning, obviously, that's why I came to see you!"

Needless to say, I hadn't advanced much in the detective area, but would give any lovesick filly a run for her money when I giggled senselessly just there.

The Great Detective has a way with words, after all.

The Case of the Curious Griffin

The wedding had concluded. A small party was held at the manor. It was beautifully designed, with blazing red walls and elegant golden fixtures, in the center of the dining hall stood a very large stone statue of a griffin that stood at attention. Everyone there was having an excellent time, there were numerous griffins mingling, dancing, and otherwise enjoying the party.

In the very back of the party, behind the table which held the bride and groom and their close family, sat maybe a dozen of griffins. As customary, each griffin that attended the wedding must approached the bride and groom's family to give them a good wish for fortune.

The groom, Captain Thunder Boom, was a stout griffin with snow white feathers colored blood-red at the tips of his feathers. His wings were amongst the strongest in his unit, he was a griffin of action, strong, brave and swift. Despite his very Spartan personality, he smiled warmly as the wedding attendees approached him, biding him good fortune to his marriage and promising a bright future of both the militaristic and domestic sort.

Lady Tempest Wings, the bride, was a homely yet quite exotic griffin. She was born into royalty, far from Equestria, however, and had moved there in her childhood. Unlike most Equestrian-bound griffins, she was much smaller and darker. Her face was thin which accented her bright green eyes and mouth, her neck was very graceful and led to a shapely body that would make any griffin turn to get a better look. Her coat was, however, much darker. Instead of white in tandem with brown feathers, she was purely chestnut brown all over, from her neck and up the brown became much lighter in color.

She, along with her husband, smiled at everyone and thanked them in the sweetest voice she could muster without straining herself. She was very calm and gentle in her mannerisms, which heavily contrasted with most female griffins. Female griffins were often much tougher and confident, generally speaking, approximately ninety percent of all female griffins served in their military, most males were often officers, Thunder Boom and his father were the exception.

On the groom's side sat his family, and the same were true of the bride's side with her family. The closest to Thunder was his father, Commander Storm Talons; a very proud, very tough looking griffin. He was much larger than his son and looked as though he could take a dozen griffins in a fair fight, two dozen in an unfair fight. A scar had blinded his left eye, but did nothing to impede his combat capabilities.

He sat next to his son, with a proud expression on his face, smiling along with him. Everyone and everything was happy.

Except, of course, one griffin. She sat right next to Storm Talons and she was much smaller than the other griffins, she looked like a child right next to Storm! She was still much bigger than Tempest and appeared very similar to Storm and Thunder, like them, she held a proud look in her eyes which shone with an intelligent glint. But tonight, she wasn't quite as happy as everyone else.

She should be happy, shouldn't she? In griffin culture, there was no best pony or bridemares, no, instead the siblings of the bride and groom would take that honor. She was the only sister of Thunder, and was the one who stood proudly next to him as the wedding had proceeded.

So, why in all of Equestria was she so upset?

Her big brother just got married! It should call for a happy occasion, not brooding and feeling sorry for yourself.

"Griffis?" Thunder asked, looking at her downtrodden sister, "Are you okay?"

Griffis smiled politely, a smile she had perfected at a young age, "Yes, of course. I've just been feeling a bit… under the weather. Would you mind if I…."

Thunder's eyes widened and a sheepish smile appeared on his face, "O-oh, yes. You may, though, there is very little need to be so cordial with my little sister."

Griffis stood and managed another smile toward her brother, "It is your wedding night. It wouldn't do well for me if I spoke candidly, would it?"

"I… suppose not…"

Her dear brother was very caring and sweet, but he wasn't the sharpest griffin she knew. Thankfully, however, he hadn't questioned her anymore and allowed her to excuse herself. Griffis looked to her father, gave him a reassuring nod, and left the hall.

She hadn't made her way to the bathroom, however, and instead up to her bedroom. After entering the room, her cool, confident demeanor broke apart immediately and she plopped to the ground on her rump. Sighing dejectedly, Griffis glared at her talons and wondered why she wasn't made into a shapely griffin? Or at least a much more confident one? Why was it that everyone she knew was getting married and jumping into committed relationships but she was the only one left out?

She knew that being the daughter of Commander Storm Talons would result in some trepidation from potential mates, but it wasn't even him that was the problem! It was her. She wasn't pretty enough, or shapely enough, or smart enough, or something. There was some sort of defect in her that repelled everyone away from her, she may have been surrounded by a loving family and caring friends, but she was so painfully alone.

"What's wrong darling? Bad wedding cake?"

Griffis snapped her head forward and looked at the source of the voice. An absolutely dazzling white unicorn stood by the window, bathed in the moonlight, she looked like something straight out of mythology, the type of pony that deserved to be immortalized in art to be admired by everyone.

She wasn't alarmed when the unicorn showed herself, she wasn't even suspicious, no, she was curious.

Griffins don't get curious.

"W-who are you?" Griffis asked.

The unicorn smiled at her, which made Griffis's heart melt. Then in a very slow and painfully tantalizing speed the unicorn made her way toward the griffin.

"I am Rarity, but who I am isn't very interesting," Rarity said, looking into Griffis's eyes, "What interests me, darling, is the reason why you're so sad."

"I-I'm n-" she stopped as Rarity's gaze focused on her with such intensity it had temporarily struck her dumb. She had never gained such attention from anyone, much less anypony, and to have earned it so quickly by this mysterious mare was… lovely.

"Words can't explain much darling-" The way she rolled darling out of those tender lips made Griffis ache, "-Action does better. Show me your sadness, I will take it all for you. A pretty griffin like yourself doesn't deserve to wear such a sad face, as a great mare once said, 'Smile, smile…'" Then, Rarity kissed her, so briefly that Griffis blanked out at the moment, only to recover when the kiss was broken and Rarity smiled at her, "'Smile'."

~--~

Pinkie Pie was an inquisitive pony, as you can tell from my other recollections of her. She liked to investigate essentially anything that interested her, despite my small checklist I had produced a few weeks ago that describes her proficiencies and faults, it seems it didn't mean much as she knew a lot more than I gave her credit for.

And she took it upon herself to keep her mind sharp, it seems, for her cases. Although, I could hardly see the uses of some of the things she knew. For example, she had published a paper on the analysis of two hundred forty-three different types of cake frosting. That hardly seems very conducive to her detective work, right? Well, I stood very much corrected when one day it had helped.

It was a difficult case, one that the Royal Guard could not crack! Pinkie was called in to investigate a horrific crime… against cake! I kid you not, someone had defaced this beautiful four-tiered cake and the culprit remained unknown until Pinkie came by and with her extensive knowledge in cake frosting had swiftly deduced the criminal.

"What are you gonna call this case?" she asked as we left the theater, a huge smile on her face as she licked up what was left of the cake from her lips.

"The Frosting Case?" I suggested.

Pinkie laughed, "Well, it'll certainly be something to entertain your fans."

It was obvious that Pinkie didn't exactly enjoy the fact that I published her cases, "Well, you make everything sound all… weird Twilight! You don't really focus on the deduction that I can do." She had said.

She'd never stopped me from publishing them, but would occasionally offer an almost bitter tone when bringing them up. These stories had gained a large fan-base, everypony seemed extremely interested in the Great Detective, and she seemed particularly annoyed that nopony was interested in her analysis of cake foresting.

"Media is here," remarked one of the Royal Guard, "They'll want pictures. You'll have to walk fast."

Pinkie grimaced, she didn't enjoy what the press was saying about her. No, they weren't saying anything negative, all they had were positive things to say about her, but all of this attention was making her uncomfortable. Every time she would try to trot casually in Ponyville, she would get mobbed by ponies asking for autographs and demonstrations of her deductive powers.

It had brought a bad taste in my mouth. After all, Pinkie only became a detective to help ponies, to try to bring a conclusive end to mysteries that would elude others and to (of course) make ponies smile. But being a sideshow attraction was not part of that deal.

We walked into a corridor, the exit ahead of us, but before we approached it, Pinkie ducked into a changing room and produced two hats.

"Here, cover your face," she told me as she tossed over a small black bowler hat. I frowned, this was exactly the same hat as the one I wore on The Mystery of the Marzipan Mascarpone Meringue Madness. Glancing over at Pinkie, I saw her putting on a very large brown hat with flaps that came down the sides of her face.

What a strange hat.

Without another word, I donned my hat and followed Pinkie out of the door. Dozens of ponies were waiting for us on the other side, and as soon as we appeared they snapped off a hundred or so pictures, all the while they were shouting questions at us. I stayed close to Pinkie as she weaved past the crowd. We got into our cab and immediately left the swarm of ponies.

By the time we got back to Ponyville, it was night. The Cakes were gone on a second honeymoon, apparently, and Sugarcube Corner was left closed because of the nature of Pinkie's business. She was very good at managing the place, an excellent baker, but with her detective work she sometimes has to leave Ponyville.

So, she had offered me to stay with her, since we were both exhausted from this case and even though the Golden Oaks library wasn't very far. I couldn't deny her, especially with that pouty smile she gave me with those puppy-dog eyes. So, I took her offer and together we walked into Sugarcube Corner.

I may not be very fast on Pinkie's deductions, so, the reader will have to excuse me if I seem a bit dull.

But, the lights were on when we got inside, which was strange considering nopony was supposed to be here. And right across the room and behind the counter, window-shopping for some cupcakes, was Rarity, the Canterlot fashionista and international master thief.

"What're you doing here?!" I jumped to action, charging my horn with magic to zap that arrogant little unicorn if she so much as looked at me funny. Pinkie was, however, much calmer than I and stood at the door looking at Rarity with interest.

And the thief in question was wearing strange clothes. She wore a silky blue dress that hugged her body in such a manner that it had accented every curve she had. Her hips, flank, chest, and legs were shown off beautifully. Diamond earrings hung from her ears and a similar tiara sat upon her head.

She looked over at me and gave me a smile, the type of smile that wasn't very friendly, it was very cold but had a playfulness in it. No, not like when Pinkie wants to play hide-and-seek, the… flirtatious type of playfulness.

"Oh, dear, there is no need for violence," she spoke with an air of sophistication, with an accent I suspected wasn't Canterlotian, "I don't like to get my hooves dirty. Well, except if you fancy that sort of thing."

She stepped from behind the counter, casually looking around the shop, uninterested in me but I never dropped my guard.

"I was just window-shopping, as it were," she turned to me and smiled again, "A mare has to indulge herself sometimes."

"What do you want?" I asked, keeping my horn aimed at her.

"It's always difficult finding a low-fat snack, you know, I wouldn't want to lose this figure. And I know someponies would agree with me, right Pinkie?"

I spared a glance at Pinkie and saw her entirely focused on Rarity. I blushed, thinking that she was ogling her body, and was prepared to protest when I noticed the glint in her eyes. Her eyes no longer held the foalish charm that she was famous for, no, it was distant and calculative, she were using her full mental capacities at the moment.

But why? Pinkie never used so much effort on a single mare, no, she'd use it if she were stumped on something, puzzled or confused! Could it be… She couldn't read Rarity properly?

"But, I must say Pinkie, you have done an excellent job as of late!" Rarity then trotted right past me, brushing me slightly with her tail, I smelled the faintest hint of Jasmine on her, "You've become quite the famous pony. The Great Detective of Ponyville is what they call you, dear."

She was right in front of Pinkie, nearly nose-to-nose with her, but she looked over her shoulder at me, "Oh, and I've been keeping up with your stories. My personal favorite was The Speckled Mare. But, do you really not know that the earth revolves around the sun?"

Pinkie didn't answer her question and kept staring at her, trying to figure her out it seems.

Finally, the party pony asked, "What do you want?"

"And no funny business!" I warned, "Or I'll-"

"You'll what?" she looked over her shoulder and her playful look in her eyes disappeared, it was replaced with a frosty glare, "Attack me? No, dear, you won't, not if you want Pinkie to be upset with you."

"Upset… what do you mean? You're a thief! A criminal! You do realize her job is to catch them, right?"

"Yes, but Pinkie doesn't want to detain me, darling. She's curious as to whether there is a larger game ahoof. She wants to know why me, Rarity, the great thief of Canterlot, is here, defrocked, as it were, standing in front of her with nothing to lose. She wants to know what I want."

"Twilight," Pinkie said in a cold detached voice, "Let's hear her out."

"Pinkie, what are you saying? You know who she is, right? We should have her arrested!" I protested, whining like a little foal.

"Yes, she knows, and that's why she's so interested," Rarity explained, turning back to Pinkie with that seductive smile of hers, "Ooh, dear, you are cute. I may be a playful mare, but I've always had a soft spot for smart ponies, it is always the smart ones that are such… freaks. The things I would do to you dear, would leave you speechless. I would leave you, right here in this spot, writhing on the floor, begging for more, aching for my touch."

"I never beg," countered Pinkie.

"You'll learn, dear."

"I- you know I'm still standing here?" I asked indignantly, but bit my lip when Rarity turned to look at me and trotted to me, swaying those hips of hers.

"Ah, yes, Twilight Sparkle, esteemed scholar and pupil of the Princess. You are intelligent, but you are so… inexperienced." I stepped back, almost fearfully as those blue eyes melted my muscles and impaired my ability to speak.

"Could it be…" She was now only inches away, her eyes boring into mine, "Interesting…"

"W-what is?" I stammered pathetically.

"You are untouched, untainted by mare or stallion alike. You are… fresh, dear, ripe for the picking as it were."

"N-no I'm not!"

She stepped closer, causing me to step back.

"I wonder if you know any tricks with that horn of yours, I am deeply interested in what you can do," she purred.

"Enough," Pinkie said, stopping her mid-trot, "Tell me, what do you want?"

She gave me one last look, and said, "Oh, we'll play soon darling, don't you fret." Before she turned back around to Pinkie.

"I need you to find someone," she answered simply, "She might be in trouble, and yours is the only mind I can trust."

"Someone?" I asked, trying to recover from Rarity's little trick.

"Yes. She's a griffin."

We sat down at a table. I brought over a tray of tea and cookies for us to enjoy, although, I couldn't bring myself to look Rarity in the eyes. That frosty look in her eyes made me uncomfortable, knowing that she could affect me so much with her words alone was… jarring.

Rarity thanked me as she took the cup and, for good measure, she batted her eyelashes at me. Pinkie hadn't partaken in the tea and only sat across from Rarity, still staring at her intently.

"Here is a picture of the darling," Rarity said, pulling out a photo from within her dress and placing it on the table. I am not very familiar with griffins, the only one I know is Gilda and she barely likes us, so, I don't know what passes for an attractive griffin, but this one was very pretty and young.

She might have been my age, I'm not sure, but compared to Gilda she was thinner and had a lovelier face. Her neck was much more graceful than Gilda's, her eyes were big, bright and inquisitive and shone with an intelligent light in them, her, ah, "hair" (for lack of a better word) was much more tame than Gilda's wild feathers. Around her eyes her feathers were colored the lightest of pink, and at the ends of her "hair" were pink tips on her feathers.

Her wings were much thinner than Gilda's and they were fully opened, showing off their figure. Her claws weren't as rough, either. She held a very delicate figure, it seems, one not suited for the rough and tumble lifestyle of most fliers. She was, dare I say it, very cute.

"Griffis," Rarity said, "A lovely griffin, she is so painfully shy and apprehensive. We met at a wedding and hit it off from there. She is absolutely darling."

"What happened?" I asked, suddenly very interested in this Griffis character. As I said, I don't know any other griffin other than Gilda, and if there was a sweet and kind one out there, I would want to help her, even if it is Rarity asking for the help.

"There were… complications. You know how griffins are, very proud and stubborn, they generally aren't allowed to speak with ponies much less fraternize with them, and if anyone knew what Griffis and I did, well-"

"Just stick to the facts, please." A blush rose to my face as I said that, I really wasn't very interested in her personal life.

"Point being, she was frazzled the next morning, scared to death it seems, and for good reason. Her father had... intruded and I was forced to make a quick escape out the window," she smiled, as though it were a fond memory.

"I bet you have a lot of experience doing that," I grumbled.

"Why is she gone?" asked Pinkie, "When did you find out she had disappeared?"

"After I left her home and made my way back to Canterlot, I had found out that she had left only four hours later. As to the reason why, well, it is quite obvious isn't it?"

She looked at both of us, waiting for either one of us to spit out the answer that was hidden in plain sight. But after a few moments of awkward silence, Rarity only laughed, a very quiet and restrained laugh as if she didn't want to embarrass us, then smiled at me.

"The reason she left, I suspect, is because of her father. He must have figured out what we were doing and did something to her." Then, that confident expression on her face swiftly became one of tranquil fury, her brows were furrowed and a frown came upon her face as she spoke, "If Griffis was harmed somehow because of me, I would never forgive myself. And if her father is somehow behind her disappearance, well… even a nice mare like me would get very angry and would have to teach him a lesson he wouldn't forget!"

I must admit, it was odd hearing Rarity speak so passionately about someone, much less a griffin. I had always thought she was an over dramatic, theatrical thief who enjoyed showing off. Rarity seemed extremely manipulative and untrustworthy, but when she spoke of Griffis I heard pangs of regret come out of her voice; as if she sincerely cared for her.

"We'll need to talk to the family then," sighed Pinkie, "We should leave first thing in the morning."

"Pinkie, you're seriously not going to go through with this, I mean, you know Rarity. She probably cleaned out Sugarcube Corner for all we know!"

"Darling, you realize I can hear everything you're saying," remarked Rarity.

"I don't trust Rarity," Pinkie admitted, looking her straight in the eyes, "But if what she says is true, then somewhere out there is a griffin who is probably in trouble. If I can help her, and I can, then it makes sense that I try everything to help, right?"

It was just like Pinkie to be concerned for everypony, even griffins. She didn't care who they were, if they were in trouble and she was capable of helping, she would do anything to help.

"Noble," mused Rarity, "Except, there is one tiny little detail that I forgot to mention. Ponies are, of course, not allowed in griffin country, and if they see three ponies approaching the manor of Commander Storm Talons it would be tantamount to war."

I had almost forgotten that the political relationship between griffins and ponies was strained, at best, and nonexistent, at worst. There were a few exceptions to that rule, of course, like Gilda, despite her rough personality she was on relatively friendly terms with us ponies, but otherwise griffins were much too proud to fraternize with us ground-pounders.

"So, we'll have to work outside the law, and that's my area of expertise," Rarity smiled which made me all the more nervous, "And forget about leaving in the morning, if we are expected to reach griffin country as soon as possible, we'll have to leave now."

"You can't be serious," I complained, my mouth agape at the prospect of sneaking into a foreign country whose citizens would be happy to tear up anypony stupid enough to come through with an international thief. It was an impossible situation, but, knowing Pinkie, she'd probably say:

"Okay! Let's go right now, any ideas Rarity?"

"Oh, I've got a few." The way Rarity smiled brought dread to my heart, because if Pinkie actually agreed with her I knew that everything was going to hit the fan.

And I was right.

An hour later, we were all dressed up and ready to head out to griffin country. For anypony curious about heading out to griffin country, here are a few tips:

1.    Don't go to griffin country

2.    If you're stupid enough to go to griffin country, it is best to go incognito

3.    And if you're stupid enough to go to griffin country with an international thief and a curious detective, bring a book, the trip will be long.

We headed east, toward Manehattan, on the express train. From there we headed toward the coast and found a very helpful sailor who was more than happy to take us aboard. I wasn't very sure why this pony was so eager to take us aboard on his ship, until Rarity had explained.

"I know him," she said simply, "Or, rather, I know what he likes."

I didn't ask any more questions.

Anyways, this pony was transporting a shipment of apples to the northern European front; apparently the weather up there is absolutely dreadful and didn't provide conditions proper enough to grow any apples. Where he was heading was only about four thousand miles from griffin country, so, a nice walk was required.

"Oh, don't worry," promised Rarity, "Once we get there, I know a few ponies that will be more than happy to give us a ride."

"Right… and how, pray tell, will we actually get inside of griffin country?" I asked, shivering slightly from the cold.

"Easy, we'll be disguised. Twilight, dear, how do you feel about plaid?"

"Uh, what?"

Rarity dragged me back inside, with Pinkie following us, and she forced these extremely ugly, extremely itchy, clothes on me. I had insisted that I could dress myself, but Rarity was determined to get the measurements right and she was unnecessarily thorough. Within minutes, I found myself standing in front of a mirror with a displeased expression on my face.

"I look ridiculous," I noted.

"You look perfect!" promised Rarity, "An exact copy of a vagabond."

Well, she wasn't wrong. I wore red and black rags that covered my entire body, dozens of heavy, and rusty, necklaces which held strange symbols on them. There were queer shoes on my hooves that went black over time and a very large purple hat sat atop my head, I was dressed very much like a gypsy.

Rarity wore similar clothing but she managed to make everything look fashionable. The only thing that made her look like a sophisticated mare was her mane, but even that she had opted to make messy. Using her magic, she ruffled up her mane and tail so that it was curly and a proverbial rat's nest. Then, Pinkie joined up with us wearing the same clothing, she laughed when she saw me.

"You look silly!" she said, barely controlling her laughter.

"Good, that's what we're going for," explained Rarity, "Griffins are quite superstitious and treat gypsies with such reverence you'd think they were holy ponies."

"Then why not dress us up as priests or monks?" I asked.

"Gypsies go anywhere and everywhere, it wouldn't be strange for them to end up in griffin country, monks and priests, however, will seem strange being so far from Equestria."

I knew she was right. A few months ago when Pinkie's sister, Blinky, went missing we searched for her and found a traveling group of gypsies that helped us out. Gypsies were typically a kind group, if you knew how to talk to them, and Pinkie had a lot of experience around them.

"Right…" The three of us went above deck to see the horizon of the European coast ten minutes away. As nervous as I was for illegally entering this country, I was somewhat excited. The thrill of adventure and the prospect of a grand mystery had chilled my blood and made me anxious to jump right in. But, we needed a plan of sorts. Griffin country was just as expansive as Equestria, except many times more dangerous, who was to say that Griffis was even still in here? She could've escaped to Equestria, but then again, it would be difficult to hide a griffin anywhere in Equestria.

"What's the plan then?" I asked. My breath was clearly visible, a cold wind blew over us, nearly toppling off my hat.

"We go to her house, ask around, and then we search for her," explained Pinkie very simply, "I have a few ideas on where she can be. But it'd be a good idea if we can get some information first."

"Simple enough, well, unless they figure out that we aren't real gypsies then they'll imprison us for the rest of our lives or execute us. But still, good plan."

"Oh, Twilight, when have I ever led you astray?" Pinkie wrapped her arm around my shoulder and gave me a partial hug.

"Well, there was that one time with that Minotaur."

"How was I supposed to know that he didn't like cake?"

"Still, you shouldn't have thrown it at him."

"It worked didn't it? I mean, he was stunned and we got away!" Pinkie defended with that huge smile on her face.

"Ah, Pinkie, might I borrow Twilight for a moment?" asked Rarity in the sweetest voice she could muster.

Pinkie looked over at her with suspicious eyes before turning to me, "Don't drink anything she offers you, okay? And for Celestia's sake, don't look her straight in the eyes."

"I think I'll be okay, thanks for the concern," I promised with a reassuring smile on my face.

Pinkie nodded and let me go. Rarity led me to the ship's bow. She stood there in those gypsy clothes but she still looked like a million bits.

"So, what did you want to talk to me about?" I asked.

"How far are you willing to go for her?" Her voice was a bit heavy and slightly emotional, like she was… distressed?

"I don't understand-"

"I said-" Rarity turned around and looked me straight on, "'How far are you willing to go for her?'"

"Pinkie? Uh, I-I don't really know, but-"

"Oh, Twilight, sweet, innocent and naïve little Twilight. You really do care for that silly detective don't you?"

What kind of a question was that? I stepped back and raised my eyebrow, "What do you mean? Of course I do, she's my friend."

"No, no dear, I meant you care for her in a romantic way. Beyond the ties of friendship, you actually love her, don't you?"

Like a silly little foal I wasn't sure how to answer. Glancing at my hooves, entirely self-conscious of myself, I muttered underneath my breath, "I.. don't know."

To my surprise, Rarity hadn't burst out in laughter and instead patted my shoulder affectionately. When I looked up, I saw her with a sad smile on her face.

"It hurts doesn't it? To not know whether or not that brilliantly dim detective returns your feelings? She really is quite something, isn't she?"

We turned back to look at Pinkie who was staring at the coast, sniffing the air like a wild animal, even licking her hoof and holding it against the wind.

"A brilliant mare who can see right through anypony instantly, but she has a flaw. She can read anypony with a single glance and can deduce anything about them through the smallest of details, but she can't deduce anything about the heart. About somepony's feelings, whether they are romantic or platonic." Rarity smiled as Pinkie eccentrically trotted in a circle, "I really do feel sorry for you dear, for falling for that silly little detective."

"I… haven't fallen for her, I just…" I couldn't defend myself. Even I wasn't very sure on my own feelings, I've been with Pinkie for such a long time now that imagining life without her was nearly impossible. And even though I knew plenty about her, I still didn't know the first thing about her. I wasn't sure if she had any sort romantic feelings toward… well, anything.

"It's okay darling. I know what it's like to have unreturned feelings toward an oblivious pony."

I looked at Rarity and saw that wistful smile of hers, and even though I still didn't fully trust her, I could tell that she was being sincere. Although, I wasn't sure if she was talking about another pony or…

Nah, it couldn't be.

"Which brings me back to my original question darling," she said as she turned back to look at me, "How far are you willing to go for her?"

I looked at Pinkie and a smile came to my face as I remembered all of those crazy moments we had. The Gypsy Bard, the Cutie Mark Caper, The Five Pips…

"I'd give my life for her," I decided.

"Good," she smiled, "Then, might I welcome you to the European front then?"

The Disgruntled Griffin (2)

"Come on Twilight! Run!" yelled Pinkie as we weaved past thick pine trees, snow falling all over my face, briefly obscuring my vision.

My gypsy disguise had worked well when we entered the country, but now only served to impede my running speed as the rags had fell over my hooves and threatened to send me head-over-hooves. The night sky provided little light for us, as the colorful pink party pony was practically invisible in the darkness. I was guided by my sense of hearing from the sound of Pinkie and Rarity running.

"Over there!" the gruff voice of Commander Storm Talons roared from behind us.

They were catching up, much faster than I had expected. I ran past another tree only to be pulled back by my shoulders and held against a warm body.

"Shh," Pinkie hushed in my ears, bringing an inappropriately timed blush to my cheeks as I registered that it was Pinkie's body that I was being held against.

"Well, I say that went swimmingly," muttered Rarity to my left. I spared a glance at the unicorn and frowned. The fashionista wasn't looking very fashionable. Her gypsy rags were torn up from the run, dirt spoiled her beautiful face and her mane was absolutely ruined with little chance of a full recovery.

Pushing Pinkie's hoof away from my mouth, I steadied my breathing, to avoid being heard by our pursuers, "What do we do then?"

"I've got a plan," announced Pinkie.

"A plan?" asked Rarity.

"Part one: evade the griffins," she said.

"Good, what's part two?" I asked.

"I'll get back to you on that."

"There they are!" From the trees around us, a dozen of griffins leapt out of the shadows and glared at us. They looked very angry and very formidable.

"Scratch part one…" muttered Pinkie.

And from the crowd of griffins stepped out a large griffin, fully iron clad in a militaristic armor; I wasn't very knowledgeable in the griffin military but all of those medals on his chest made me think that this was a very important griffin.

He focused on Pinkie and his glare intensified. "You…"

"Oh, hello Commander Storm Talons," Pinkie bowed slightly, smiling brightly, "What, uh, brings you here?"

From his expression, I could tell that he wasn't in the mood for pleasantries.

"Arrest them," he ordered.

~==~

16 hours earlier.

We got off the boat and thanked the sailor for bringing us this far, and before us stood the dock of a tiny little village.

"Well… what now?" I asked.

Rarity looked off toward the horizon and noticed the sun was rising.

"Hm, well, he said he'll pick us up at eight… so, that gives us about half an hour to kill. What do you want to do till then?" she asked, turning back to us.

Personally, I wanted to see if this place had a library of sorts but from the looks of things I wouldn't suspect they had anything of much value. The dock underneath us was worn out through time and creaked under our weight; it didn't look like it could hold three mares much less a shipment of apples. In front of us stood the actual village and I use that word as loosely as possible.

It was only a small collection of wooden buildings; the population looked to be a dwindling one hundred or so. The roads were dirt, the cool air blew through the trees, making them sing and wail as if the cold burned them.

"I say we get something to eat!" suggested Pinkie with unbridled enthusiasm. I couldn't help but agree; after all I haven't had anything to eat since Ponyville so many hours ago.

"Yes, I could use something to eat," I agreed weakly.

With that, the three of us entered the village. I feel as though I must rescind my earlier statement when I said that the population was around a hundred, because when we walked through the village it was absolutely deserted. I understand that it was the break of dawn and everything, but everything felt so… dead.

The houses moaned against the wind, echoing off each other and I couldn't hear any other sign of life. No sleeping ponies, no fillies, not even any animals. The atmosphere was, of course, horribly depressing as a result.

"Where is everypony…" I asked.

"Sleeping, perhaps," answered Rarity, "Villages like these are quite common. There is often nopony around simply because of the economic downfall. It must be difficult after all, being far from the Princess's sphere of influence."

That's right, we are far from Equestria now, if we were to get into any sort of trouble, the princess wouldn't be around to bail us out. That didn't help my already increasing sense of fear on this adventure.

"Here," pointed Rarity at a local saloon.

"Oh, uh, I don't drink," I told her.

"You'll learn soon enough," smiled Rarity as she pushed me toward the bar.

The bar, like the rest of the village, was deserted and pretty much dead. Made entirely out of aging wood, everything creaked, the slightest movement made the entire building scream as if in agony. There were dozens of tables and chairs set up, but nothing occupied them, save the bugs and dust. In front of us was a large counter which held a huge supply of drinks behind it and, surprisingly enough, a kindly stallion who sat there, reading a book.

He looked up when he heard us walk in and his eyes blazed with curiosity and kindness.

"Oh, oh!" Putting away his book, he smiled at us, "Welcome to the Watering Hole!"

Awkwardly, the bartender realized his folly and produced a small rag in which he wiped the counter with and offered us seats by the bar. He was a kind stallion, I could tell from the generous look in his blue eyes, his mane was snow white and thinning. His coat was a darker shade of gray and was ragged with wrinkles, he wore very old proper gentlecolt clothes, a yellow shirt with red suspenders and a bright blue bowtie.

He must have been desperate for customers or any interaction for that matter, we were, after all, three suspicious mares who were dressed as gypsies, but he had treated us as if we were royalty.

"Thank you sir," Rarity started in her familiar fancy accent, "What is there to drink in this place?"

"Uh, non-alcoholic, please?" I added.

"Heh," he chuckled, "Unless you'd like untreated water, I'd suggest sticking to the rum."

"What's wrong with the water?" Pinkie asked.

"You must not be around here," he remarked, "Then again, I don't think I've seen gypsies like you three before."

Rarity merely smiled, Pinkie grinned widely, and I just looked nervously around. I knew this gypsy disguise wouldn't work, but I hadn't expected to be found out so quickly.

"We don't have a water treatment system here," he explained, "Closest thing would be… Prance, and that's quite a walk for some water. Our next shipment of treated water should be coming in next week, so, all we got till then is this."

He set down three small glass cups filled with a very strongly scented brown drink. I wasn't very sure about drinking that, but Rarity threw a few bits at the counter and downed the drink like it was nothing. Then she looked at me with a sly smile, "My, this is rather strong, although crude."

"Glad you like it," nodded the bartender.

"Uh, I don't think I'm thirsty actually. I'll drink once we get into griffin country," I pushed the glass away from me and as I did so, the bartender turned right around and looked at me wide eyes.

"Griffin country?!" he cried, "Why in all of Equestria would you want to go there?!"

Rarity glared at me.

"Uh… whoops."

Pinkie had downed her drink and giggled, looking a little tipsy, "We're looking for a griffin, she went missing a while ago and we need to search for her."

"Hey, how come she doesn't get a glare?" I complained.

"She's cute." Rarity shrugged, as if it was my fault for not being as cute.

The bartender huffed and looked at us with a strange expression, as if trying to decide if we're brave or just stupid.

"Anypony knows not to go into Griffin country," said the bartender. "But you lot seem to have the right idea with your gypsy wear."

"It should be fine," Pinkie said, waving a dismissive hoof, "I'm sure we can handle it. After all, we're a private detective, librarian and student to Princess Celestia, and an international master thief!"

He looked at Pinkie quizzically and couldn't decide if she were lying or not, but shrugged and nodded. "In any case, you should err on the side of caution."

"Being safe is such a bore," chimed Rarity, "There's so much fun in taking risks."

"Anyways! I think we'll be going now!" I interjected, pushing Rarity and Pinkie out of the door, "Thanks for your hospitality, sir."

When we were outside, I turned to face the mares with a sour expression. "I think we should maintain a low profile from now on. No telling everypony that we're anything but gypsies!"

"Now darling, what's the harm?" asked Rarity innocently.

"They could be spies! Or otherwise nefarious ponies!"

"I think you're getting a bit paranoid, dear." Rarity patted my shoulder and felt my forehead for any signs of a fever. "Besides, this village is absolutely desolate. Who could he tell?"

"Plus, our disguises will work," supplied Pinkie, "The art of disguise is knowing how to hide in plain sight!"

"Though, a disguise generally turns into a self-portrait. No matter how hard you try, you always end up showcasing your true feelings."

I rolled my eyes, these two had too much in common and I couldn't decide if that was a good thing or something disastrous. "We can continue this philosophical discussion later, when we're behind enemy lines and in knee-deep in absolute danger."

"That's the way!" cried Pinkie cheerfully.

As promised, Rarity's ride arrived. It was a rather muscular stallion with a caravan of traveling salesponies. Upon seeing Rarity, the stallion broke out in a grin and hugged her. It occurred to me how strange it was knowing that Rarity had friends out there. Then the stallion began to flirt incessantly at Rarity, and I must emphasize the word "at" because Rarity regarded his advances with the enthusiasm of a cup of water.

Occasionally, she'd smile and brush her mane back embarrassedly, maybe bat her eyes a few times, but I could tell it was just an act. I didn't call her out on it, because I feared that the stallion would drop us off if he knew Rarity was acting, so, I had to sit in-between a mango and Pinkie Pie for about an hour; to be honest, it reminded me of another case Pinkie and I embarked on, The Pony With The Aluminum Crutch.

An hour later, we crossed into Griffin country, and I must admit it was absolutely beautiful. Mind you, I still hold Equestria to incredibly high standards in terms of aesthetic appeal, but Griffin country is a close second.

Rolling lush green hills greeted us along with a huge array of forestry that made my head spin looking at it. Although it was notably colder, everything sort of radiated warmth. In front of us was the entrance to the town and beyond that I could see the cobblestone castle with multiple griffin flags. My sense of anxiety was quieted by the magnificent scenery.

"This is the farthest I can take you," informed our driver. We thanked him and headed straight into the village.

I wasn't sure how quickly it would be until we were signaled out, but then again, I had remembered that everyone around us was at least twice our size so we would stand out horribly.

As soon as we entered the village, we started to get strange looks from everyone. They noticed our gypsy apparel, however, and those strange looks turned into mystical expressions and awe-struck faces.

"See?" whispered Rarity, "They hold gypsy in high respects."

"Art of disguise," added Pinkie pointedly.

"To correct you, we aren't exactly hiding in plain sight if everyone is watching us," I said.

It was only twenty paces before we came across our first curious griffin. He was a tall, imposing griffin with a youthful face and wide eyes, he carried several bags filled with blue cloth and one filled with food.

"M-madams," he stammered while bowing, "I know you must be busy. But, I was wondering if you had any knowledge of my fortune?"

I froze and dared not to offer a response. I knew something like this would happen, none of us, save Pinkie perhaps, had any experience in fortune telling! What could we do besides give ourselves up?

"Oh," droned Pinkie as if she were in a hypnotic trance, "I see your wife is with child and… yes! She will bore a strong male for you, and don't worry, my dear, you will be able to convince your father the worth of your wife if you persist at it."

The griffin had a look of shock on his face when Pinkie spoke, and I figured she guessed wrong until he smiled, "Oh, thank you!" he cried, excitingly bouncing in place, "Thank you madam!"

He ran off like a foal hyped up on sugar, I looked at Pinkie with an incredulous eyebrow. "How?"

Pinkie Pie grinned coyly at me, "You know my methods."

I've learned not to question Pinkie and her methods and only returned her smile with one of my own. We walked, therefore, in silence through the town as griffins would stare at us like we were royalty! Though I can't speak for myself, Rarity was the only one that resembled royalty even in her rags she emitted an aura that was like a million bits.

A few times she caught me staring at her and batted her eyes playfully at me.

I kept my eyes forward for the rest of the trip.

The walk was surprisingly short and as we neared the castle I became increasingly worried about how to approach things. We were simply intending to trot up to the place, saunter right in and begin our investigation incognito?

"Don't worry," Pinkie said suddenly, patting my shoulder. "I've got an idea."

We approached the manor and were stopped by a wrought iron gate flanked by two griffins. They extended their wings to stop us but they looked a tad worried, as if they were afraid we were going to cast a curse on them.

Pinkie stepped forward, grinned at both of them, and said, "We're here to see Commander Storm Talons about the case of his missing daughter."

The guards' mouths dropped. "How did you know that?"

Pinkie walked past them and beckoned us to follow. The griffins didn't miss a beat and opened the gates. "The spirits willed it." Was Pinkie's response.

A few minutes later, we were inside the manor. A servant griffin approached us with a slight frown, he didn't even hesitate after quickly examining all of us he still treated us like the ruffians we were dressed as.

"And who might you be?" he asked nopony in particular.

"Travelers from the Lost Wind," answered Rarity with the poise and elegance of a high-class pony.

"Here to offer our help," I chimed in.

"With what?" he asked, absolutely bored with our mystique.

"The commander's daughter," answered Pinkie.

Again, the servant didn't seem very impressed.

"She's missing," I added. "And we're here to offer our services in finding her."

Turning his bored eyes on me, I gave him my best smile but it probably looked incredibly awkward and forced because he just rolled his eyes and stepped aside. As he moved out of the way, a very large and imposing griffin came out of the door. He had a sour expression on his face and didn't appear affected by our appearances no matter how superstitious griffins may be.

"I've told you, no, we will not discuss these matters until Griffis is located!" the griffin exclaimed, Rarity winced upon hearing Griffis's name.

"Storm Talons, reconsider," a second griffin pleaded although not in a sincere way.

"No!" Storm interrupted. "Razorbeak, I will remind you that this is my house and that you are being treated as an esteemed guest, please don't give me a reason to kick you out."

"Razorbeak?" muttered Rarity behind me. Turning to her, Pinkie and I quietly confided in the fashionista. "His name was mentioned during the wedding, apparently, he is Storm Talon's Lieutenant not by choice mind you."

"What do you mean?"

"Razorbeak is more…. rough and tumble to other griffins, he is the quintessential loose cannon amongst griffin military. Apparently, he had a knack for disrespecting superior officers and was demoted several times on counts of insubordination and was forced under Storm Talon's wing," Rarity explained.

"Sounds a lot like Gilda," I muttered.

"In any case, we need to get inside," Pinkie said. Turning toward the griffin servant, Pinkie put a concerning hoof to her forehead and began to swoon. "Ohh, ohh, I see something."

As expected, the three griffins stopped what they were doing and began to pay attention to Pinkie. I had no idea that their superstition ran this deep because even the skeptical servant lost his disrespectful attitude.

"Who is this?" Storm demanded to the servant.

"A traveling gypsy," he answered quickly but was interrupted by Pinkie's groans.

"You"—she pointed at the servant—" why don't you simply forgive your brother? He has had his problems, but he is still family."

I wasn't very sure how Pinkie deduced this information, but from the look on the servant's face she was correct.

"And Storm Talons, how was the wedding? A festive occasion tarnished by the disappearance of your daughter," she continued. Storm's stony expression softened for a moment. "I can help you."

"And who exactly are you?" Razorbeak asked with a brusque tone.

"I am the Gypsy Bard. This is Moonlight"—she pointed at me— "And Majesty." – Pinkie gestured to Rarity, who smiled rakishly and flipped her mane. "We know of your plight and come to offer our help."

Although Razorbeak was still skeptical Storm Talons let us inside. The place was rather lovely in a sort of scary way. As soon as we entered the manor we were flanked by massive bronze statues of griffins clad in military armor. There were weapons pinned up to the walls and dozens of portraits of famous griffin commanders.

"Easier than I thought," whispered Rarity.

"Easy? That wasn't easy," I countered.

"Well, for you maybe. I half-expected that we were going to break in."

Hopefully, that wouldn't be the case.

Storm Talons led us to Griffis's room. It was a simple room fit for a princess. The bed was huge and adorned pink frilly comforters and blankets, the canopy above it looked big enough to block out the sun. Rarity yelped slightly when she saw the bed, I turned to look at her and her cheeks were rosy red.

"Oh, it's nothing," she said. "I just never got a good look at the bed in the light, prettier than I thought, definitely firmer than it looks."

It was my turn to blush at the implications of that.

Pinkie strode into the room in her usual manner, clinical like a doctor examining a patient as she scanned the room in a manner of moments. I could practically see the gears turning in her head as she made mental conclusions from the evidence.

"Well?" asked Razorbeak. "We've brought you here, what have you to say gypsy?"

Pinkie shut her eyes for two full seconds. When she opened it, she swiftly turned around and headed for the door. "Come on, show me the kitchen."

Her gypsy aura immediately disappeared as she entered her "detection mode" and I could see Storm's fate in her begin to fade. "She can get like this when the spirits become anxious," I quickly amended. "We've no time to lose."

It seemed to work as Storm nodded and lead us back downstairs. We headed into the kitchen and Pinkie immediately began her investigation, like a bloodhound she had her face to the floor and scrutinized everything in extreme detail.

"My, she can become quite animated when she wants to," remarked Rarity.

"She does that sometimes," I agreed.

"Gypsy, what have you concluded?" Storm asked with uncharacteristic patience.

"You"—she romped up to Razorbeak and stared him down. Although she was much, much shorter than him, she put her best intimating expression and glared daggers at him— "You've done something haven't you? The evidence points to you."

"Pinkie…" I warned.

"What are you babbling now gypsy?" scoffed Razorbeak.

"I don't know yet, but you are the prime suspect at the moment. There's something I'm missing, something important," she continued, ignoring the griffin's death glare.

"Gypsy, what of my daughter?" asked Storm again.

"She was taken," answered Pinkie. "There are clear signs, but there wasn't any force applied. I was hoping to find more evidence in the kitchen, but it's perfectly clean."

"Taken?!"

"Pinkie, perhaps you should exercise more restraint," said Rarity.

"She must've left a feather on you when you took her"—Pinkie began to lift Razorbeak's wings and began to search them— "It's gotta be here."

"Pinkie!" I interjected.

"Let me go!" Razorbeak pushed Pinkie back into me, nearing sending both of us tumbling. "I don't know what you're babbling about gypsy, but you've got a lot of nerve to accuse me!"

"Where is she?!" cried Pinkie, glaring angrily at Razorbeak. "You've done something to her, have you hurt her in any way? Trust me, when I find her, and I will, if she has some much as a single feather out of place-"

"Enough!" roared Storm.

"Mr. Talons, I must apologize for our friend's behavior." Rarity gave him her best smile, trying to defuse his anger. "We are only here to help."

"You make baseless accusations and justify that as help? Whether or not you are gypsies, you won't be allowed to trot about as if you own the place. Leave."

"Storm Talons,"

"I said, leave."

His expression was so terrifying that I couldn't imagine any griffin soldier that would be able to stand up to him. We said nothing as we were led out by the servant. When we were far from the manor, Rarity sighed in defeat.

"What exactly was that, Pinkie?" she asked.

"I'll explain later," Pinkie answered dismissively. "Right now, though, we'll need to wait."

"For what?" I asked.

Pinkie turned to me with that familiar crazy smile. I knew I would hate what she would say next. "Nighttime, we're going to break into the manor."

We spent the next few hours waiting outside of a small café. The griffins were nice enough to us and the shop manager didn't kick us out for fear we would cast a curse on him. By the time night rolled around, the streets were so dark that it was impossible to see. Maybe griffins have some sort of night-vision and don't need any street lights, but I couldn't see anything.

My horn lit up and provided a small light for the three of us and under Pinkie's direction; we sneaked back into the manor. When we neared the manor, I had to cut off my light spell for fear of detection and had to be guided by Rarity's hoof. We veered away from the gated entrance and headed toward the western side where a large tree sat right outside the gate.

Climbing the tree we were able to hop right over the gate. Unfortunately, I'm not exactly the most athletic and fell out of the tree and landed on top of Rarity.

"Ooh, Twilight," she purred into my ears.

I jumped off and muttered a few apologies.

We reached the building, far from the front doors, but had to duck behind some bushes to avoid the roaming sentries. Rarity threw over a necklace of flowers over our necks before the guards arrived. "Griffins have a highly developed sense of smell," she explained. "This will block our scent."

It worked well enough because the guards flew right over us, uninterested in the prospect of three ponies. After they passed, we headed for the first window available. After Rarity performed a lock-picking spell (which I'll have to pick up eventually… you know, out of science) we climbed in through the window and were in the kitchen.

"What now?" I asked, keeping my voice low.

"Over here," Pinkie answered, heading out of the kitchen and toward the sitting room. "I need a light."

I lit up my horn again, though kept the light quite low and pointed it at Pinkie. The pink sleuth ran me all over the room, shining my light in every nook and cranny until we stopped at a door. Pinkie grimaced as she examined the floor and ran a hoof through her mane.

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked.

"I think I know who did it," Pinkie answered.

"Who?"

Hoofsteps (or should that be pawsteps?) interrupted us. I shut off my light and ducked behind a couch. Pinkie hid behind a grandfather clock and Rarity in a corner behind a curtain (though she complained that the curtain was hideous).

A shadowy griffin stepped into the room; I couldn't make out his features in the pitch black and ducked behind the couch when he turned toward me. He passed my hiding spot, oblivious to my location, and I noticed something in his mouth. It looked like a bag and it rustled as he moved, I could faintly smell the scent of food: fruits and veggies. A guard taking a midnight snack?

A pink blur led me to Pinkie's hiding spot. Pinkie was waving her hooves frantically at me when we made eye-contact; she pointed toward the kitchen then at me. Nodding, I began to sneak from behind the couch toward the door. I kept myself low to the ground and moved at a snail's pace and after what felt like an eternity I made it to the door and almost ran into the kitchen.

Pinkie and Rarity rejoined me.

"Who was that?" I asked.

"Not sure, but we should get out of here. I know where Griffis is," Pinkie said.

"Where?" demanded Rarity.

More rustling and talking came from the sitting room. "Who's there?" the voice asked.

Pinkie pushed me toward the window and I was half-thrown and half-jumped out. We ran where we came in from but the gate still imposed as a large obstacle for us. When we neared the gate, I wrapped my forelegs around Rarity and Pinkie and teleported us right outside.

Landing with a severe groan, I scrambled to get to my hooves as I heard shouting from the manor. Pinkie pulled me back up and we all ran for it. We headed down the street, past dozens of cafés and probably waking up half the neighborhood and rounded a corner.

Pinkie pulled me back and pressed me against the wall. The sounds of the search party quickly died down, I heard them fly off in the opposite direction. Thanks to our little necklaces we were invisible to their noses!

"Oy, you there, what're you doing?" a youthful, yet still intimidating, voice asked. I turned and saw a young griffin soldier before us. His armor was too big for him and he looked much smaller than any other griffin I saw here, but he still looked at us with a fierce expression.

"Oh, apologies," said Rarity with a fake high-pitch giggle. "We were just lost, but we've got our bearings now, thanks!"

"Hold it right there," he commanded with a slight squeak in his voice. "I'm taking you to the commander."

"That isn't necessary ," tried Rarity.

Pinkie was gearing up for a fighting, quickly looking over the griffin to decide how to take him down. I could tell this was going to get messy fast.

"What are you doing?" A familiar voice asked from behind us. Turning, I saw the tall, imposing frame of…. Gilda?! Gilda the Griffin, perfectly clad in armor, stood behind us with her usual bored expression and sneer. The young soldier stiffened when he noticed the insignia on Gilda's collar.

"I asked you a question private," said Gilda with a commanding voice. "What are you doing?"

"Uh, sir, I mean, ma'am, I mean sir—"

"Now private!"

"I-I was apprehending these ponies. They were acting suspiciously and may have broken into Commander Storm Talons' manor."

Gilda looked at us with an expression that either read shock or that she was impressed. "What's your current assignment at Storm's manor?"

"I was hired to guard the outer perimeter," he answered.

"And if these ponies really did break into his home, they must've gotten past you, correct?"

"U-um, yes."

"Then what makes you think you can just apprehend them so easily without back-up?"

"I—"

"Go on. Find the others and we can deal with these ponies then." The soldier hesitated but Gilda glared at him harder and he nodded, running off with his tail between his legs.

"Gilda, what're you doing?" I asked.

"Saving your sorry flanks, now hurry up, get out of here. You guys won't have any time before they arrive."

"Wait, but why? We can get Gilda to vouch for us. You can help with finding Griffis," I insisted.

Pinkie shook her head and patted Gilda's shoulder. "That soldier is still a greenhorn, intimidated by Gilda's rank as captain but he doesn't know who she really is."

"What? Who?" I looked at Gilda who was blushing beet red.

"Griffins don't like fraternizing with ponies, we're kinda prideful like that. This goes double for any griffin in the military," Gilda answered.

"What does that have to do with you?" I asked.

"I… sorta kinda got myself involved with a pegasus in Ponyville," she admitted sheepishly.

"Oh… Oh!"

"Anyways!" she interrupted, still blushing furiously. "We have to go before they get back—"

"There they are!" A griffin cried.

Gilda wrapped Pinkie and I under each of her forelegs and Rarity with her tail and took off. She flew toward the forest but with our combined weight and the frigidly cold weather she slowed down significantly.

"Land over there!" Pinkie pointed at a small clearing and Gilda took us down there. We nearly crashed into the snow-covered ground but Gilda managed to stabilize seconds before landing.

"Gilda, I need another favor from you," Pinkie said once the griffin let us go.

Gilda scoffed and brushed off her shoulder but listened regardless. Pinkie leaned up to the griffin's ear and whispered her request, Gilda's eyes widened but she said nothing and simply flew off.

"Now then, it's time we run!"

~==~

And so here we are. In the middle of a freezing forest surrounded by dozens of griffins, Commander Storm was flanked by Razorbeak his servant who, bizarrely enough, was clad in his own armor. Pinkie held up her forelegs in surrender and tried for a placating smile.

"Now, now, I'm sure we can talk this out," she said. "I told you before, I'm here to help."

"You pose as gypsies, infiltrate my home, make false accusations and now resort to breaking and entering? It seems to me that you are here for everything but helping," Storm snapped.

The griffins closed in but Pinkie jumped and removed her rags to show off her bright pink mane. "Okay! Look, I'm Pinkie Pie, I'm a consultant detective and I came here intending to help you find Griffis, all right? Sorry that I had to lie to get in, but you wouldn't have let me in otherwise, now stop, I know where she is!"

Storm held up his paw, stopping the other griffins. "Where?"

"Oh, please Commander. Don't listen to this pony, she's obviously lying! A spy sent by the Sun Pony herself!" cried Razorbeak.

"Or! Somepony who's right, who knows where Griffis is. You'll never know if you arrest me," argued Pinkie.

Storm Talons paused for a few minutes, considering the detective's words and for a moment there I thought he was going to actually arrest us. But, he said, "All right, explain."

Pinkie grinned, happy to be in control of the situation. "My first suspicion was that she was taken, after all, a griffin simply walking off by herself is very hard to miss, especially considering who her father was. Naturally, my suspicions led me to everyone in the manor. No offense, but you were my first suspect"—Pinkie unmistakably pointed at Storm Talons, who glowered in response— "You were the most likely and it wouldn't be hard for you to make anyone disappear."

"You… dare—"

"No, sir," amended Pinkie. "I told you, you were my first suspect. But I cleared you after seeing her room. Untouched and not a trace of evidence suggesting you despite the fact that the room hasn't been clean since her disappearance. So, that leads us to you"—she turned to Razorbeak— "A rough and insubordinate griffin with no respect for your commanding officer. You had the means and motive to take her, after all, she would be a very good bargaining chip for your rise in the ranks after being demoted so many times."

Razorbeak stepped forward, as if to smack Pinkie, but Rarity and I stood in front of him absolutely defiant. The other griffins quickly detained and held Razorbeak back, who growled in protest.

"Razorbeak?" Storm Talons shook his head. "You accuse him again?"

"Not exactly," answered Pinkie. "It wasn't him. There's no evidence supporting that, plus, it wouldn't make much sense, no griffin would be stupid enough to do anything to Commander Storm Talons daughter."

"Then who?!"

Pinkie Pie raised her hoof and pointed… at the griffin servant. "Wing Gust, that's who you are right? Saw your accolades in the sitting room, very impressive military record."

"You… how dare you accuse me!" Gust cried.

"Oh, it wasn't all you though. You didn't steal her away in the middle of the night or anything, you simply walked her out of her room and made her disappear… because she told you to."

This time it was Storm Talons turn to become flabbergasted. He shook his head furiously and turned to Pinkie with an absolutely livid expression. "Are you saying she ran away?!"

Pinkie nodded.

"And why would she do that?"

"Why don't you ask her yourself?" Pinkie pointed toward the sky where two griffins came into sight. Gilda and Griffis following her. They landed in front of Storm Talons, Griffis awkwardly pawed at the ground as her father looked properly confused.

"Griffis! Where were you?!" He asked, hugging the small griffin tightly.

"The cellar underneath your house," answered Pinkie. "She's been hiding there this whole time, assisted by Gust who made sure no one would go down there to find her. That was you bringing food down to her, wasn't it Gust?"

The now meek servant nodded, but Storm paid him no mind as he focused entirely on Griffis.

"You hid from me? Making me think you were stolen! Or hurt?!"

Griffis nodded shyly.

"Why would you do that?"

Griffis looked at Rarity for a few moments before taking a deep breath. "I had fallen for a unicorn, father."

Every griffin, save Gilda and Gust, recoiled. Storm's expression was one of absolute shock and disbelief.

"It was the night of the wedding, I had went upstairs to my room where she—"

"She?!" Storm interrupted.

Griffis nodded again. "She was there, waiting. And then she—"

Storm Talons shook his head, stopping Griffis's recollection. "No, don't. Tell me, who is this unicorn?"

"Father…"

"Who?!"

"Me." Rarity stepped forward puffing out her chest and jutting her chin upward. "I am the unicorn she fell for."

"You.." Storm turned to Rarity, ready to pounce but Griffis quickly stopped him from approaching.

"No, father! Don't!" she pleaded. "Don't hurt her!"

"She deceived you! She is a unicorn who seduces you, not taking into account of your feelings Griffis!"

"That's not true," I said, stepping forward. "Rarity came with us to find her. She was so concerned about Griffis that she risked life and limb to help her."

"It's true," nodded Rarity unafraid of Storm's wrath.

"But…" Griffis smiled weakly at the fashionista. "You do not return these feelings, do you Rarity?"

Rarity smiled, under the moonlight she looked radiant in spite of how raggedy she was. She held Griffis's paw, patting it comfortably. "You are a lovely griffin, and I certainly enjoyed the night we had"—Storm Talons' face reddened at that—"But I do not love you like you love me."

"Of course…" muttered Griffis sadly.

"Oh, Griffis, my silly little Griffis. Remember what I told you? Smile. A lovely girl like you doesn't deserve to wear a frown. You should be more confident in yourself." Griffis beamed at Rarity's words then leaned in to kiss her. Storm and every other griffin turned away, and I blushed as Griffis held a passionate kiss with Rarity.

When she pulled away, Rarity looked baffled and blushed. Griffis giggled. "Looks like you can be caught off-guard."

The rest of the night was a lot more peaceful than I expected. Storm allowed us to spend the night in the guest room of his manor (though he kept a few guards outside to make sure Rarity doesn't sneak out for some… pleasantries with Griffis) and in the morning we were given a ride back to Ponyville.

Griffis had explained to him that she hid away out of fear of Storm reacting poorly to her falling in love with a unicorn and wanted to, eventually, sneak away to Canterlot to find her! Storm didn't look very happy, but he had accepted Griffis's choice and even thanked us for finding her before she managed to run away for good.

All's well that ends well.

… Well, except for Gilda who was called out for her exploits with an unnamed pegasus in Ponyville. Pinkie, Rarity and I came to her defense but surprisingly enough it was Storm who eventually defused the situation. So, thankfully, Gilda wouldn't be stripped of her rank and Storm turned a blind eye to her attraction to this pegasus.

Nothing of what happened there was reported Storm's higher-ups or Princess Celestia and the whole mess was swept under the rug. Naturally, since I am publishing all of this, the names and certain events were changed and altered to protect their identities.

Though, I think I did manage to deduce who Gilda liked. I won't say her name, but I can tell you that she has a really bubbly personality.

The Cutie Mark Caper

The city of Manehattan was the quintessential center of modernization and elegance. Other than Canterlot, this is the place to go to in Equestria if you wish for sophistication. The traffic of ponies, the grand skyscrapers, the amazing architectures would assault you immediately, granting the full experience of sociological innovation.

The days of rustic villages were far behind cities like Manehattan. With that said, however, the traditions haven't changed with the geographic. Cutie marks are still considered major social factors to young fillies and colts, and things like special talents are held highly. Although it is not queer to witness a pony going against his or her cutie mark and engage in another special talent, typically, deviants like that are rare.

It was late, on a school night much less. The night sky was beautiful as the moon shone over the entirety of Manehattan. Few streetlamps idled, providing very little light in the monolith that is this island-city. It is perceived as dangerous for young ponies to be out and about in the city like this, which is why, unsurprisingly enough, the younglings lingered on the streets.

Cherry Bomb, a young unicorn mare with a sea-green mane and a teal coat, giggled as her coltfriend, Evening Star, a pegasus with a rough appearance, tough looking face, black coat and a dark mane, told a joke concerning their elderly teacher.

These two vagrants straggled almost drunkenly on the sidewalk. Bumping into each other lazily, giggling madly, and slurring their words as their breath stunk of spiced apple cider.

Cherry looked down at her flank, barely covered by her jean jacket, and smiled; her cutie mark had appeared last night. She was a late bloomer, much older than most ponies when receiving her cutie mark, which had depicted a professional microphone; complementing her love of singing and dreams of becoming a professional.

Evening Star's cutie mark was simply a pegasus wing, in profile, with motion blur on it, accurately displaying his love for flying and aspirations of becoming a Wonderbolt, as is typical of most pegasi stallions.

The young couple had lied about a study session taking place at the local library, where they went wasn't conducive to studying and lacked the plethora of books held at the library. After a few hours of partying, part celebrating Cherry's cutie mark, part sneaking out for the sheer fun of it, they awkwardly trotted home, barely able to remain horizontal and coherent.

Their senses were dull, but even if they were alert and aware, they wouldn't have noticed their stalker.

A shadow in the city of shadows, it lurked closely behind. Not too far to have lost sight of them, and not too close to garner attention, this was the work of a well-versed lurker.

Cherry cackled as Evening told another joke, this time exaggerating the flank of their history teacher to hyperbolic measures. It was a happy time for her, gaining her cutie mark, having a good time with her coltfriend, nothing could have ruined it.

As they cornered Malcolt X Avenue, the stalker quickly pursued. The streets were completely barren of anypony, there would be no witnesses.

Approaching the couple from behind, this criminal smiled under the shroud it wore; black as night, like a creature of darkness.

Cherry was the first to notice, the air around them changed. She glanced over her shoulder and saw a wicked face, contorted into a horrible smile.

It was all she could do to scream.

~--~

My friend, Pinkie Pie, was a rather strange pony. As a detective, she was brilliant, insightful and had a keen logical mind that can see through you as if you were transparent. With a single glance, Pinkie would be able to tell your entire life story. Indeed a startling ability for one as eccentric as she, but that wasn't why she was strange.

Pinkie was happy-go-lucky, always wearing a smile on her face, always cheerful and kind. She goes out of her way to help ponies, to make them smile as wide as a mile. However, despite how intelligent she is, Pinkie is rather dim when it comes to some things.

Frowning at my desk, I brandished a scroll and a quill.

I began to write:

Pinkamena Diane Pie – her limits Her knowledge base

Literature – none

Philosophy – none

Astronomy – none

Politics – comprehension akin to that of a filly's

Biological Sciences – some; she knows of the biological systems of some creatures and ponies, enough for moderate martial efficacy

Geology – practical, but finite; can identify soils from different places

Chemistry – expert; but her cooking ability varies

Physics – questionable

My frown deepened. I wasn't getting anywhere with this list, it hadn't mattered what Pinkie knew and didn't know, her knowledge was quite vast regardless. She surprised me every day it seems when she spouts off random facts. Like how Princesses Celestia gets her mane fixed in that floaty, magical manner.

But, if you were to ask her of the simplest questions, she would be stumped. For example: she was unaware that the earth revolved around the sun and that the sun rising is simply the Princess's efforts to accelerate its rotation. It was elementary this knowledge! It is incredible how Pinkie can see right through anypony in seconds but remain ignorant on simple facts.

I wondered this as I sat with my head propped up on my table, gazing over the library as Pinkie scurried about, throwing numerous books off the shelves and reading them as quickly as she possibly could. Spike, my number one assistant, the poor dear was desperately trying to keep up with the hyperactive pony.

"Pinkie!" he cried, "If you could just – ah! – calm down for a second, I could hel- ah! – help you!"

With each exclamation, he jumped to catch a falling book she had thrown. His skills as a bookkeeper were unparalleled as he didn't miss a single book and had precariously balanced them on his claws and tail.

"No time!" Pinkie huffed, throwing yet another book over her shoulder, "It'll be faster if I do it like this. Besides, Twi said it's alright, right?"

She looked up at me and I just smiled at her reassuringly, promising that it was indeed alright. Usually, I wouldn't allow such a mess to occur in the library, but I made an exception with Pinkie. Not only was she my friend, but she required a consultation on a case she was on.

Besides, the library is always messy.

The case in question was concerning a possible griffon attack in Cloudsdale. Pinkie wanted to read up on griffon culture and the sociology behind them, for the life of me I don't know why she would want to, but she had explained that this information was imperative to the case.

So, I let her borrow the library for an hour.

The result: a great big mess.

"Pinkie," I muttered sullenly, "How would this information help you anyways?"

She emerged from a pile of books with a book covering her entire face, but she looked toward me anyways with that silly look, "Proof! If I can prove that it wasn't a griffon that attacked her, then I could clear the suspect!"

"And how do you plan to do that?" snapped Spike as he went over to pick up a few books.

"There is already enough proof, it's just the police won't look closely enough! All I really need is one more piece of evidence!" she insisted.

"Like what?" Spike asked.

Pinkie giggled as she threw a book at Spike, "You're sounding a lot like Twilight, Spike! You guys ask a lot of silly questions, because the answer is simple. This!"

She had spread open a book over the table and pointed to a specific passage. Crumbling up my paper, I trotted downstairs and looked at the book. It depicted the attack patterns of the griffon in that they would attack vitals first rather than waste time on center of mass. Meaning they would go for the throat, eyes, etcetera, to kill rather than disable.

"How does this prove anything?" I asked.

"The pony that was attacked was only cut on her legs and suffered a nasty bruise to her head. If a griffon, someone that is usually twice the size of a fully grown pegasus, attacked a pony, they wouldn't go for the legs," she explained.

"Well, maybe this griffon wasn't trying to kill that pegasus," offered Spike, "Maybe it was just a grudge."

"Doesn't matter anyways, since the wounds the pegasus suffered weren't from a pegasus. They were from a pony."

"Pinkie, don't be ridiculous." Rolling my eyes, I stepped in front of her and showed her my hooves, "No claws or talons, no physical way to cut somepony."

"You have teeth don't you?" A sly smile appeared on her face as I realized what she was saying.

"Come on, are you trying to say that the police mistaken teeth marks for griffon cuts," argued Spike.

"They don't have to. They don't exactly have a forensics team, so there is no way to tell the difference really especially if the suspect dragged their bite to obscure it. However, all they had to do was take the pony's word. She's the one who suggested that her attacker was a griffon, there's no real good reason to argue especially with how poorly pegasi and griffons get along."

"Discrimination?" I mused.

"Yeppers!" she cried.

How depressing, the negativity toward griffons exceeded social stigma and even extended to politics and crime. I've never gotten along with griffons too much, they consider most unicorns as elitist snobs, but that doesn't mean I would dislike any griffon I would meet.

"So, you're done now?" asked Spike with obvious hope.

"Yep! Come on Twi, let's go clear her name!" Pinkie declared, quickly dragging me out of the library and down toward city hall. I tried to protest, considering I knew literally nothing of the case. I hadn't been involved because Pinkie jumps from case to case very fast. Two nights ago she was on a case of a disappearing goose, then another on a young pony who claimed that his comic books were being reenacted in real life. I was burnt out by the second night and when I woke up she was on this case of the griffons.

It was hard to keep up with Pinkie, even more so if she is on a roll with her cases.

When we arrived at City Hall, we were greeted by Mayor Mare (the real one, of course) and went back to the makeshift cells. Ponyville had no official police force, so any crime that would happen within our jurisdiction would be handled in City Hall. Usually there were someponies here to handle things, Rainbow Dash or Applejack, but it was completely empty save a few guards.

We went to the far back, to the very last cell. Before we could actually reach it, Pinkie began to speak, "Don't worry! Pinkie's got this all sorted out, I can clear your name!"

A flick of the tongue came from the cell and an irritated sigh.

"Great, can't believe you of all ponies saved me…" I frowned when this griffon spoke, as I recognized her voice. Looking into the very last cell, I saw Gilda the Griffon sitting there with a sour expression.

Gilda was a longtime friend of Rainbow Dash, but she had a very bad personality. She was arrogant, temperamental and just plain rude. We had a bad run-in with her last year, she and Pinkie didn't get along very well despite the latter's efforts to try to become the former's friend.

"It's the least I can do," Pinkie giggled, "We're friends, right?"

Friends? I certainly hadn't heard of this. My eyes widened as Gilda just sighed louder, obviously disagreeing with Pinkie's statement.

"Sure, sure, friends. You already gave me that stupid welcoming song twenty times man, I don't need another reminder…" Gilda muttered, moving closer to the bars and held them with her claws.

"So, come on, bust me out of here already. I'm going crazy!"

Pinkie summoned the guard, handed her a few pieces of paper. The guard pony's eyes widened as he read this, sneering at the griffon who gladly returned a nasty glare, he bowed his head, dejected, before opening the cell and letting Gilda free.

The griffon stepped out of her cage and stretched to her full height, successfully intimidating me, and, to my surprise, she picked up Pinkie and hugged her.

After a few seconds, she dropped the pink mare and glared at both of us, "Don't tell anypony about that!"

"Okie Dokie Loki!"

"Sure, sure.." I grumbled.

With that, our audience with the griffon was swiftly over and Pinkie and I headed back to the library.

"Why did you help Gilda?" I asked.

Pinkie looked at me strangely, "Why not? She needed help, and I gave it to her. Plus, the puzzle was really interesting."

"I mean, she treated you horribly before," I countered, "Why didn't you just leave her there?"

It sounded cruel, but it could easily be argued that Gilda would leave Pinkie in that cell if she were ever to be caught in that situation. Why should a nice pony like her go out of her way to help someone who doesn't appreciate it?

"It wouldn't be nice," answered Pinkie, "Even though Gilda was mean, it doesn't mean I have to be. The best way to get Gilda to turn that frown upside down is to be nice."

It was such a Pinkie Pie answer that I had no argument. It made sense, I'm not sure I would have approved of Pinkie cold-heartedly leaving Gilda there when she could help, but it didn't feel fair to Pinkie. Doing things to help someone who was mean… then again, she did hug her…

My moral dilemma aside, we had somehow made our way by a diner. Where the most unusual pair awaited us. Cheerilee and Applejack standing outside, right beside Applejack's applecart, chatting it up. I never knew Applejack was friends with Cheerilee, so seeing the educated pony behaving very friendly toward the workpony was… well, strange. As strange as seeing Gilda hug Pinkie.

"- Are ya' sure?" I heard the familiar Southern drawl from Applejack as she spoke to Cheerilee, who nodded solemnly.

"I keep track of all of my students," promised Cheerilee, "And I can't say if anypony has been doing anything suspicious-"

Her eyes focused on me and she smiled as we approached. "Ah, Twilight Sparkle," she cried familiarly, "How are you today?"

"Fine, thank you Cheerilee," smiling back, I was comforted with how familiar she was acting toward me. We had never really been the closest of friends, really, but we spoke occasionally when she came by the library for a book in particle physics; why a schoolteacher to young fillies and colts would need with a physics book was beyond me.

"What, ah, are you guys talking about?" I asked as Pinkie trotted off to order something, good thing too, I don't think she's eaten for three days.

"Well, Applejack here thinks something is amiss with my students as of late," she explained eloquently, "And has asked me if I had noticed anything suspicious."

"Suspicious?" I repeated.

"Ah'ma tellin' ya, somethin' ain't quite right. You should know somethin' about it, right Twi?" Applejack turned toward me, her eyes fixed with concern.

"Wait, wait, you haven't explained anything Applejack. Know something about what?"

"Somepony has been stealin' cutie marks Twi!"

Concerned, I placed my hoof over her mouth to prevent her from speaking; as the other ponies looked toward us with curiosity and concern. If this accusation were true, we couldn't afford to cause any panic amongst the populace. It would be insanely dangerous and I wouldn't want Applejack to be locked up for insanity.

Glancing over at Pinkie, I noticed that she hadn't caught a word of this conversation and was entirely busy getting her order from the diner. I then looked at Cheerilee and noticed she wasn't very convinced at Applejack's claim as she rolled her eyes and gave me a concerned look, I deduced that she had been trying to reassure Applejack for some time now.

"Uh, you guys wouldn't mind if you came with us now, would you?" I asked the earth mares to which I received grateful nods.

Pinkie finally came over with a tray of food and nodding to her, I said, "Pinkie, we're going back to the library. Come on!"

We were there after a quick walk, Spike had finally managed to clean everything up – to which I rewarded him with a ruby – and Pinkie laid her food on the table for us to share. Gratefully, I took a daffodil sandwich and chewed it as Applejack explained her story.

"Y'all know my lil' sister Applebloom, right?" We nodded, "Well, the poor dear is a blank flank and has been obsessed in gettin' her cutie mark for some time now. But she had noticed somethin' different 'bout the other ponies. Her friend Twist had gotten her cutie mark a while ago, but yesterday, it was gone!"

Applejack wasn't the most eloquent pony. The more excited or agitated she got, the more severe her Southern tongue became, making it a little difficult to understand what she was saying.

"Why, if ya saw Applebloom, ya'd think she were mad. Hollerin' about how Twist suddenly lost her cutie mark, and Twist weren't too happy neither. They were both frantic, hollerin' like mental chickens!"

"Missing cutie marks?" I mused, to my chagrin, Pinkie was too focused on her meal to offer her own opinion, so I needed to be her mouth and ears, "I don't think I know of a spell like that."

"Whatever the case is, somethin' fishy is goin' on," insisted Applejack.

"And you think her students are involved?" I asked.

"No… well, not exactly, but all of these cases are showin' up in her school first. If this spreads, then it'll be chaos, chaos!" Suddenly, Applejack began to flail her forelegs excitingly, punctuating her point perfectly.

"Cheerilee, what do you think is going on then?" Turning to the teacher, I noticed she was absolutely calm in this. She either doesn't think there is any foul-play, or she already knows the answer, either case, her calm demeanor was unsettling.

"I'm not sure," she admitted, "I haven't heard any case of somepony losing their cutie mark. It might be magic or something supernatural behind it, you can't just lose your special talent. Maybe an investigation is needed."

Jumping off my chair, I trotted over to the newly organized bookshelves and began to search for a book. It would probably be in Mystical Spells or Archaic Magic. To my surprise, however, both books were missing.

"Huh, that's weird," muttering to myself as I went over to the check-out book, I opened it and searched for any recent check-outs. Indeed, I found Mystical Spells and Archaic Magic both checked out by somepony, but no name was provided.

"Spike!" I called. A few moments later, my little purple dragon stumbled out of the next room wearing a cute apron, holding a duster, he looked aggravated but it was hard to take him seriously.

"What?" he demanded walking toward me, "I'm a little busy here."

"Do you know who checked out Mystical Spells and Archaic Magic?" I asked, ignoring his huffy attitude.

Spike shook his head and shrugged, the universal symbol for "I don't know".

"It's hard enough keeping track of all these books," he complained, "Now I have to keep track of who checks them out?"

"It is your job," I reminded him.

With another shrug, Spike made his exit. Walking back to the table, I sighed dejectedly, "I won't be able to find an answer anytime soon. Looks like we're stuck for the moment."

"Not exactly," corrected Pinkie as she chewed her hay fries.

"The detective speaks," I muttered.

"There is still a lot of information we can collect, we should go and interview some of the fillies who were involved. Besides, I have a few theories on what might be going on," Pinkie explained as politely as she could with a mouthful of fries.

"While I agree on the severity of this situation," Cherrilee started, "I think discretion is the best policy for this. If anypony began taking this seriously, it certainly would be chaos. Imagine, if ponies everywhere began to lose their hard earned cutie marks."

She allowed that thought to hang for a bit and it resonated deeply for us. Cutie marks were nothing to sneeze at, it defined our special quality and helped shaped the type of pony we are today. While I think there was some flexibility in the whole "special talent" department (as apparent with Pinkie Pie, for instance) cutie marks are the defining features for most ponies.

Pinkie nodded in agreement before downing another hoof-ful of fries.

"Then, will ya'll investigate?" asked Applejack earnestly.

"Yes and if all goes to plan, I'll have your solution by the end of the day!" promised Pinkie. I didn't want to argue for fear I would make the unflappable detective appear overconfident, but I was absolutely stumped on how she would accomplish that. As I mentioned, Pinkie was an absolute genius in her detective work, often times obfuscating others by feigning ignorance, but this case seemed to be out of her realm. Her usual work involved concrete evidence and cold logic, anything involving the supernatural or magic was usually my area of expertise, but, to date, I was lost on the prospect of something magical stealing cutie marks.

But, if I knew Pinkie Pie, and I did, then I know she'll solve this case posthaste.

It would be an entire two hours before we came back to the library, tired and bemoaning from the laborious task of interviewing several rowdy fillies and colts who were either victims or friends and family of victims of this cutie mark crime. And we had gained absolutely zero ground. The only tangible piece of evidence gained from this was a piece of blue ribbon that was found at the school. Nopony claimed the ribbon and according the Pinkie it was absolutely unremarkable with no real evidence to go on it.

"I don't get it!" I groaned, reviewing my notes from the interviews. "Nopony got a good look at what stole their cutie marks and there was no evidence of foul-play on any of their bodies. They just sorta vanished without a trace!"

"There is something we learned from this," Pinkie reminded me. She smirked that all too familiar smile that made me roll my eyes.

"You're doing it again," I reminded her.

"Doing what?" she asked, innocently perplexed.

"Making that face. You're doing that face again Pinkie."

"I can't see my own face silly," Pinkie laughed. But I levitated a small mirror in front of her and she frowned. "It's just my normal face."

"No, you're doing the 'we-both-know-what-is-really-going-on-here' face," I insisted.

"Well, we do don't we?"

"No. You know what's going on, not me."

Pinkie sighed. "Twi, you always see but don't observe the clues are all there, you just have to look for them."

I rolled my eyes, exasperated at Pinkie's insufferable genius. She always knew more than anypony and was generally the smartest one in the room, and she was always confused and perplexed whenever nopony could keep up with her train of thought. "Well, it's obvious isn't it?" she would always say, "The clues are right there!"

I always wondered what went on in that silly little head of hers.

"Think about it. Look, these thefts aren't random. There is a pattern, an unseen line connecting all of them. Can you deduce what it is?" Pinkie asked.

I shook my head.

Pinkie sighed. "Do you have a map of Equestria?"

Of course I did. I levitated a thin scroll from the Geography section and opened it up before us. It was completely updated and even had a little coordinate system in the upper right hand corner for precise reference.

She brandished a quill and began marking spots on the map, I needed to restrain myself from fainting because this map was absolutely brand new and she was already defacing it!

"Look." She pointed at the map now covered with several X marks. There was one mark on Manehattan, another in Canterlot, and the final one in Ponyville. Pinkie then asked for a detailed map of Ponyville, which I gave to her to which she immediately began marking it as well!

There was a mark to the Northwest at the school. Another slightly further south at the local park. Then another near town square. One slightly southwest of Fluttershy's cottage (near a recently constructed building) and the last one was further south, on the path leading to Froggy Bottom Bog.

I couldn't see the connection between these marks, they were all over Ponyville and completely random! But Pinkie nodded at me as if the answer were obvious. But when she saw that I was completely clueless, she grimaced.

"This is a progression, a completely set trail that is following something. The first case was in Manehattan, then it moved to Canterlot, then here in Ponyville. Then in seemingly random spots around town, but it isn't random, it is being led."

"What is being led, and why?" I demanded.

"That, my dear, is the question, and such a deliciously excellent question at that. No worries, though, I can figure it out!" she promised before running out of the library in a sudden rush.

I would have followed suit, but my hungry was a bit overwhelming. So, I took Spike out for a quick lunch.

It was mid-afternoon by the time I returned to the library. Spike was satisfied at his jewel salad and passed out on his bed right there. I was too distracted to focus on my hunger and could barely eat. Instead, I had spent all lunch trying to make heads or tails on Pinkie's explanation.

Fine, the thefts weren't in random order and were some sort of progression, but to what? And why? And, perhaps the most important, how? How was it possible that somepony could steal cutie marks? My magic wasn't strong enough to even make permanent cutie marks, I doubt there was an actual spell out there that could steal it.

My thoughts were interrupted by yelling outside. Quickly, I ran out to investigate. Only a few feet away from the library was an angry mob, I feared that it was some form of riot of terrified ponies but then I heard them cursing and threatening somepony. Fear gripped my throat, could the culprit have been found already?

Pushing my way into the mob, I noticed who they were ganging up on. Zecora, the zebra, stood in the middle of the crowd, trying to inch away from the angry ponies. A stray vase was flung from the crowd and aimed its way to Zecora, threatening to smash into her face. Levitating the threatening projectile, I gently set it aside and stood in front of Zecora, glaring at the mob. I was successful in repelling them for a few moments, no doubt they heard of my magical prowess.

"Twilight, move out of the way so I can throw more vases at Zecora!" a random pony cried from the mob.

"No! What are you doing? Didn't I tell you before, Zecora isn't bad, why are you treating her this way?" Zecora placed her hoof on my shoulder and frowned sadly at me.

"Twilight Sparkle, it seems these ponies distrust me. They act with words so harsh and actions so cruel, please, quell this angry army!" Zecora answered with a weary voice; tired of their accusations.

Managing my best death glare, I stood at the ready for any more stray antiquities. "You think she's the cutie mark thief?"

"Well duh!" answered a mob member, "Who else is capable of this freaky magic?"

"You said it yourself, her magic isn't anything normal!" another voice accused.

"Fine, but that doesn't make her a bad zebra! Zecora is kind and wise, she doesn't deserve this type of treatment," I quickly countered.

"Then who has been stealing cutie marks?"

"I… don't know," I admitted. "But! Pinkie is on the case, she'll find the culprit."

Dry laughter echoed from the crowd. Apparently, they trusted Pinkie's detective skills as much as they trusted Zecora.

"The party pony?" one asked.

"Isn't she just a baker?" another questioned.

"And she is the pony who helped your sorry flanks when you asked them!" I snapped, "And without needing any sort of compensation, she just smiled happily at a job well done. So, you might want to think twice before you say anything to the pony who helped you for free!"

Silence answered me as nopony dared to retort. They all knew how idiotic they were being with their false accusations, and they all knew better than to say something lest they would incur my wrath. "Now," my voice softened to try and calm them down further, "I understand you're scared and don't understand this threat. But, you can't go around attacking innocent ponies, or zebras, out of fear. We must approach this with logic and reason, not panic-induced passion and fear."

The mob muttered sullenly to themselves but they dispersed quietly. Zecora turned to me and gave me an appreciative smile. "Thank you Ms. Sparkle. For your words, so kind, I am forever grateful."

"It's no problem at all, Zecora," I responded with a smile of my own, "But I can't believe how quickly these ponies would turn in dark times."

"Yes, everypony is capable of such dark deeds when frightened. I dread what they would be capable of if their fears were further heightened."

I shuddered to think what they would have done had I not intervened. Zecora is generally a docile zebra, but I've seen how powerful her magic is and I wouldn't want her as an enemy. I promised Zecora that I would check up on Pinkie to see how the investigation was going but explained that she may need to lay low for a while; just in case there were someponies that would act on drastic measures.

After that entire mess, I ran toward Sugarcube Corner.

Opening the door, the first thing that hit me was the smell. It didn't smell like pastries and baked goods, but instead there was this heavy musky smell of something overly sweet; like the scent of heavily refined sugar. The musk was worrying and thick over my nose, so much that I needed to cover my face in order to not smell it.

I ran to the back room and found the source of the smell. Pinkie was lounging in a chair with three potent cupcakes in front of her. She wasn't eating it, she was just sitting there and allowing the scent of those cupcakes to blanket her. Her mane was straight and fell over her shoulders, her eyes were dull and lifeless and she hardly moved when I approached her. In fact, I probably would've assumed she was dead or comatose had I not heard her breathing; heavy and deliberately slow.

"Pinkie?" I took a breath and the thick scent of those cupcakes nearly chocked me, "What are you doing?"

"Thinking," she answered in a low, bored voice, "This problem is so complex, it does well to keep my mind active."

"Oh, uh… how are you getting on with it?"

"Fine, just fine." She spoke so curtly and slowly, it was like Pinkie was in slow motion.

"Um, what's the deal with these cupcakes-"

"Don't!" she sat up straight and stopped my hoof immediately. "These are special cupcakes!"

"I can tell," I muttered, nursing my now sore hoof, "But why aren't you eating them?"

"All in due time," she answered, "These cupcakes are specially designed to give my brain the extra kick it needs. It has three times the sugar of a normal cupcake and some magic powder, for the extra boost. I don't need to eat them, I just sorta smell them. Of course, I'll eat them later once the scent wears off, but for now it's good enough."

"Why do you need those cupcakes anyways?"

"It's a three-cupcake problem," she dumbly answered, "Most problems are only worth two cupcakes. I never bake these cupcakes if it is a two or one cupcake problem, it isn't worth it."

"Right…" I turned to face the window and opened it. The thick odor was too much for me. "Well, what have you got so far?"

"So far?" she grinned and jumped out of her chair, as she did so, her mane and tail instantly poofed back to its curly, wild form. I know everypony that's ever met Pinkie has a few theories of her expressive mane, and, as her friend, I have a few of my own. Most think that her mane is the product of her current mood, the curly mane is indicative of her happy and cheerful mood, whereas the straight mane indicates her sad or depressed mood. I disagree with that theory. I think her mane expresses her level of physical activity. The more she romps about, all excited and hyper, the curlier her mane becomes, however, as she slows down, her mane reflects that by straightening.

Then again, it could always be a case of Pinkie logic, who knows?

"I think I may know the culprit!" she declared proudly.

"Seriously?" I cried, obviously incredulous, "But all you've done is mull around with cupcakes!"

"All great theories are written in chairs," she countered, "It's simple Twi! You just have to think about the circumstances and the problem is simple! All that remains is the how and who, but, that'll be explained later tonight."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on. Explain, please?"

"Whoever the culprit is will show up tonight, and she, or he, will explain how they were able to commit all of this!" Pinkie explained almost arrogantly.

"Why would they show up here?" I asked. Pinkie turned and grinned that stupidly brilliant smile of hers.

"Because I asked them to come."

It would be well into the night before anything of significant importance happened. Pinkie and I were crouched in a bush, positioned right outside of my library simply waiting. She had eventually explained that she sent a letter in the newspaper early today indicating that a lost ribbon had been found by the schoolyard and the owner should go by the library to pick it up.

Naturally, I was skeptical of such a simple plan. But, Pinkie addressed them as concisely and succinct as she could.

"Obviously, she'll be looking for the ribbon," she had said.

"Obviously?" I had echoed.

"Of course. It was made by her mother, or older sister. It's hoofstitched, from the fabric I'd say it was fairly expensive and made painstakingly with love. No way this is something purchased at the store. So, this is obviously something treasured by her. Look at how clean it is, no way a normal filly would be able to keep such fabric this immaculate. So, she tried her best to keep it cleaned and had it washed every night, you can see by how the color is fading."

"How do you know it is a filly?" I had asked.

"Who else would be so desperate for a cutie mark?"

She hadn't explained further and buttoned up for another half hour before our visitor came. It was too dark to see her, but I could tell it was a filly. She had wrapped herself up in thick robes and sleuthed awkwardly as she made her way to the door.

"Make sure to grab her," Pinkie whispered, "She'll try to run."

The filly came closer to the library, and tentatively raised a hoof to knock…

"Now!"

We leapt from the bush, completely startling the filly who faced us, her unicorn horn buzzing shyly with weak magic, as if she were trying to defend herself from us. But, before she could make a run for it, I ensnared her with magic and she floated toward us.

Using my magic, I pulled her hood back. A young unicorn looked at me with wide innocently frightened eyes. Her coat was perfectly white and her mane was elegantly coifed, it was the color of milkshake; bright pink with a contrasting purple. She struggled against my magical hold and complained, her voice was distinctive, in that it was incredibly high pitched.

"Lemme go!" she complained.

I began to feel a bit uncomfortable in detaining a filly, but hadn't relinquished my magical grip. "I think we should go in for a little talk. This is yours, isn't it?" Pinkie pulled out the ribbon and showed it to the filly who squealed happily.

"Yes!" she cried, her voice slightly cracking, "Where did you find it?"

"First, we should introduce ourselves. I'm Pinkie Pie, this is Twilight Sparkle. Who are you?"

The filly looked at us with a slight glare. Obviously, she hadn't trusted us even if we brought back her beloved ribbon. "Sweetie Belle," she finally said, "Now, can you let me go?"

I brought Sweetie into the library and as soon as I let her go, she hugged her ribbon like it was her long-lost friend. She was completely ignorant to the fact that we had essentially kidnapped her, until Pinkie cleared her throat.

"Now then, Sweetie Belle, if that is your real name!" Pinkie suddenly cried.

Sweetie raised an eyebrow, "Uh, yes, that is my name."

"Okie Doki Loki, just making sure!" chirped the detective.

"Maybe we should ask some important questions?" I suggested.

"How did you do it?" Pinkie asked. Sweetie didn't respond and just gave Pinkie an innocent inquisitive look. "The spell to steal cutie marks, how did you do it?"

"Oh, um, about that…" Sweetie Belle rubbed her ribbon nervously, like a security blanket, "It was an accident."

"An accident?!" I cried, "That is high level magic, Sweetie Belle. There's no way somepony can conjure up a spell of that magnitude by accident!"

"Well it was!" she insisted. "I just got a package the other day with the spell books and instructions on how to use it. I didn't think I could even do the spell and when I did it…"

"Books?" I echoed, "Where are the books?"

Sweetie Belle moved toward her saddlebags and produced two books that I recognized instantly. Mystical Spells and Archaic Magic. "And here's the note that came with it," she said, handing us a piece of paper with elegant writing on it.

Pinkie snatched the paper immediately and examined it. After a moment, she frowned and handed it back to me, it ran:

"For the filly who waits for her cutie mark. Enjoy your studies."

"Unremarkable," Pinkie muttered, "Nothing on it that could lead us anywhere."

"But which spell was used?" I asked, opening up both books and scanning its contents. Halfway into Archaic Magic I found the spell. My face blanched as I read it.

"Oh, that's not… good." I muttered.

"Is there a way to reverse it?" Pinkie asked.

"Something like that…"

"What do you mean?"

The door shuddered and shook from a tremendous force. As if somepony threw themselves at it, but from the sound of the impact, I could tell that it wasn't a pony, it was something bigger and meaner.

"Twilight, do you know how to reverse the spell?" Pinkie asked, her voice incredibly urgent.

I flipped through the book frantically. "Um, hold on…"

"We don't have much time," she reminded me.

"Ah! Right here!-"

The door exploded and the force threw us all of our hooves. When I recovered, I took notice of the intruder and let out a strangled gasp. It was huge and bipedal. Its body was round and meaty, as if it were engorged. It wasn't like a pony, it was sort of like a bunny, if the bunny got hit with an ugly stick a few times. It snarled and growled at us and that's when I noticed that it was completely transparent. You could see right through it and swirling inside of its body were dozens of cutie marks.

"The Cutie Mark Monster," I muttered, "It was developed in the PreClassical Era-"

"Why does it feel like all the worst things were made during that time?" Pinkie asked.

"-By a trickster who stole a king's cutie mark in order to take over his kingdom. But it went on a rampage and went after the trickster. The kingdom literally disappeared off the map."

"Oh…" squeaked Sweetie Belle. "D-don't you know how to reverse it?"

"Yeah," I admitted, "But it would only work when the creature is weakened, at this state, it won't do anything."

"Well then, time for plan B," grinned Pinkie as she reached behind a random bookshelf and pulled out…

"A party cannon!" I cried, "How long have you had that there?"

"Oh Twi," she giggled, "You should know I keep these cannons stashed all over Ponyville, in case I needed to do this!"

She pulled on the cord and the cannon fired. But, instead of the traditional confetti, it fired a three-tiered cake! It was so powerful that the creature flew off into the middle of the street, covered in cake and stunned from the impact.

Pinkie ran out and we followed. "We need to get him away from Ponyville!"

"Come on, follow me!" Sweetie Belle ran off and we were at her heels. Unfortunately, the little filly was too small to outrun us, much less the Cutie Mark Monster, so, I had to levitate her on my back and have her lead us. Her directions lead us to the outskirts of Ponyville, nearby Fluttershy's cottage to the west where an unfinished building stood.

"I've never noticed this place," I remarked as I looked over the empty building. From the outside, it looked a lot like a fun house. It was tall and pink and had a carousel on top of it.

"Newly constructed," confirmed Pinkie, "Somepony is moving here?"

"Look!" cried Sweetie Belle.

The Cutie Mark Monster bounded for us, roaring angrily as his eyes focused on Pinkie, he didn't like the cake it seemed.

"Got a plan?" I asked.

"Three so far," answered Pinkie.

The Monster effortlessly pushed a log out of his way, it flew right over our heads and deep into the forest behind us.

"Okay, make that one," she corrected.

"Work on it, I'll keep it distracted." I stepped forward and did the stupidest thing in my life. I charged the creature.

With my horn glowing and my heart ready to jump out of my chest, I sprinted toward the big ugly thing, restraining myself from yelling my name as a battle cry. He reeled back and punched at me. Thankfully, he was so big that his movements may as well have telegraphed his attack. Dodging to the left, I countered with a cross to his left cheek.

The Monster staggered back from my hit, and I followed along with a magical bolt to his chest. He roared in pain and swung at me. He was much faster than before and it was all I could do to roll out of the way.

"Ha!" I laughed, "Missed!"

He looked at me and grinned as he held out his hand and showed me… my cutie mark.

Looking down at my flank, I noticed that it was indeed blank! No way, he stole it?!

"Hey!" I heard Sweetie Belle squeak out, "Stop right there!"

The Monster turned to her. Sweetie Belle stood beside Pinkie with a confident look on her face that was betrayed by her shaking legs. "Yeah, you heard me! Who do you think you are? Running around like that, stealing cutie marks?!"

To my surprise, he didn't attack her instead he… cowered! He sat down and bowed his head, ashamed as the little filly reprimanded him! Sweetie Belle was on a roll as she walked up to him and continued yelling. It was so effective that he was beginning to shrink, soon, my counter-spell would dispel him indefinitely.

But something went wrong. The Monster tensed as Sweetie Belle neared. Either her confident demeanor dropped or he got upset with her, but he wasn't about to listen to her criticism anymore as he suddenly stood up and raised his arm to swat her.

I jumped in his way, I wasn't about to let Sweetie Belle get hurt; but, before he could hit me, heat over washed me. Like the sun was standing right next to me. The pain was overwhelming and I felt like every molecule in my body was on fire. I looked over to my left and I could swear that Princess Celestia was right there, but before I could confirm it, I passed out.

When I came to, my throat was dryer than a Canterlotian's sense of humor. Pinkie hugged me and recounted what happened.

"I… what?" I gasped.

"You were glowing!" she repeated, "Bright purple and then that light overwhelm the Cutie Mark Monster and it made him disintegrate! I guess your counterspell worked because look!"

She pointed at my flank and I looked to see that my cutie mark had returned!

"I thought you said it wouldn't work because it was too big," asked Sweetie Belle.

"I… guess I was just strong enough to make it work."

Pinkie looked at me with a slight frown, as if she weren't convinced yet but didn't press the issue. "Whatever the case is, your spell worked and the cutie marks should return to their rightful spot."

"Wait, how did you know that Sweetie Belle could command it?"

"I told you, Twi. There was a progression, it wasn't random. The Monster was following Sweetie Belle, that's why it attacked in places like the school and park, that's where fillies would go after school. She probably moved around from Manehattan to Canterlot to here, right Sweetie?"

She nodded but gave us those puppy-dog eyes. "Yeah. My older sister is moving here and decided to take me along. But, um, sorry about this whole mess… It was an accident, I swear."

Pinkie placed a reassuring hoof on her shoulder and grinned. "It's okay. I believe you. And besides, you're new to Ponyville, right? I've got to throw you a welcome party now!"

Sweetie Belle had, however, declined the party for now and left to meet up with her older sister. Pinkie had to help me to the library because I nearly threw up when I stood back up.

"You're not satisfied are you?" I asked.

"How did you know?"

"You have that look on your face," I remarked, "The 'the-answer-can't-be-that-simple' face."

Pinkie chuckled. "This is my normal face."

"Exactly."

"Who gave her those books?" she asked, "There's no way a filly like her would be interested in those dangerous spells. It's like somepony wanted her to cause all of this trouble."

I shrugged, honestly unsure of the answer. "You think this pony is going out of his way to make life difficult for you?"

"Difficult?" She shook her head, "No, interesting. Whoever is doing this is certainly desperate for my attention."

"You two would be perfect for each other."

"But, no matter. It might be a coincidence."

I had to refrain from grimacing at her. Pinkie Pie, the Great Detective, never believed in coincidence. "What are you going to tell everypony? About the monster, I mean, you aren't going to blame it on Sweetie."

"Nah. She didn't know any better. But, I'll think of something, we should really head to the store later on, though."

"Why?"

"I've got a party to throw for Sweetie Belle and her sister, you know!"

Class Dismissed

Pinkie Pie sat at her desk. She grumbled under her breath about how execrable everypony was being. They wouldn't think, they were hopelessly dull and stupid. Her teacher in particular was the worst offender. Every time she spoke, she lowered the IQ of everypony there.

Mrs. Willow Leaf turned around and grimaced at the pink earth mare. It was not very surprising that the eccentric filly wasn't engaged on the lesson at hoof and opted instead to scribble in her notebook. It was strange, however. Pinkie was the youngest in her class, at a mere age of eight, and has managed to get her cutie mark, a trio of balloons. Something cheerful and happy for such an antisocial and high-strung mare.

"Miss Pie," Willow said pointedly, drawing her gaze to the mare in question who looked up, bored as usual, and frowned. "Is there something more important in the notebook than my lesson on Hearts and Hooves Day?"

"Observations," she answered arrogantly before returning to her notebook.

"Excuse me?"

Pinkie sighed loudly. "I'd really prefer not to, if you don't mind. I'd need to excuse a great number of flaws you have."

The class of twenty snickered. Willow's face darkened several shades of red before she trotted up to Pinkie's desk, snatched her notebook, and observed it before giving the mare a quizzical expression. "What is this?"

"I told you. Observations," she said, shaking her head to punctuate her impatience with the teacher. "Notes on everypony here, including you Mrs. Leaf."

Willow chuckled and Pinkie rolled her eyes. The filly still couldn't believe that she was to attend classes in Canterlot with a bunch of dull and arrogant ponies, she'd much rather extend her education on the rock farm, there was no need to associate herself with stupidity.

"What's this?" Willow said, reading a few of Pinkie's notes. "'Upturned collar; unfamiliar scent, possibly a stallion's deodorant'?"

"Yes, I was noting your infidelity, should I be asked to, ah, make them public."

"My… what?!"

Willow's face became fifty shades darker as embarrassment clutched her throat, making her mute for a few moments. The class whispered amongst themselves, like busy bees they buzzed. "Pinkamena Diane Pie, what are you implying—"

"Upturned collar," she started, "Used to hide the very noticeable hickey on your neck. Having a little fun before showing up to work?"

"W-what?!"

"Husband is out of town and you take the opportunity to—" Pinkie cleared her throat rather indiscreetly "—Educate other stallions?"

"I don't know what you're—"

"You've been married for ten years. The pictures on your desk obviously indicate that. Unhappily, however. The pictures and the frame are both the same age."

"Why does that matter?" a young filly called out from the class.

"Ah!" Pinkie stood up and smiled at the classroom, "A question, excellent. A simply question, but it's a start."

"Pinkie Pie, SIT DOWN!" interjected Willow.

"Any mare happy in their marriage would obviously keep their prized possessions as clean and orderly as possible. She hasn't replaced those picture frames for ten years, probably because she's unhappy in her marriage, not probably; obviously."

"How dare—"

"Notice her attire this past week. All brand new clothes, shiny new jewelry and fancy make-up! She even wore new perfume! For her husband? Eh, not likely, he's been out of town this past week, like I said."

"Pinkie—"

"How'd you know that?" asked the same filly.

"I overheard her talking to another teacher." The arrogant would-be detective shrugged at the somewhat disappointed class. "Not everything is deducible."

"But her infidelity?" asked another filly.

"This past week she's been showing up to class all fancily dressed and all smiles. Weird that she suddenly keeps up appearances after her husband leaves, huh? Probably she's enjoying the freedom, probably a little too much. She smells different today, much different than her very expensive perfume and what's more!" She paused for dramatic effect. "It's deodorant, for stallions."

A chorus of oohs and aahs echoed through the class.

"That is enough!" Roughly pulling down Pinkie from her desk, Willow held the filly by her mane practically foaming at the mouth. "Now, I have had enough of your ridiculous theories and wild accusations! Now, you are going to report to the principal's office for disciplinary action!"

"Are you sure?" asked Pinkie.

"Sure of what?"

"Sending me off so quickly. I mean, I'm almost done with my 'wild' theories. You may as well let me finish."

"I—"

Pinkie pointed at Mrs. Willow's desk, to a stack of papers leaving ever so innocently beside several school textbooks. "Letters from your… escort. Addressed to and from a Mr. Gyro Synch. Now, that's not your husband's name, is it? Hm, but why would this Gyro send you rather steamy letters if he wasn't your husband?"

Willow turned her back to the class and held Pinkie mere inches from her own muzzle. "Why are you doing this? What have I ever done to you?"

Pinkie Pie, the arrogant yet brilliant filly shrugged. "Bored. Why does anypony do anything?"

In a hysterical fit, Mrs. Willow Leaf submitted her resignation to the Canterlot School of Excellence posthaste and class was dismissed. Pinkie Pie trotted into the courtyard, by the school gates, and scowled at the sprawling city of Canterlot.

How she wished for her peaceful home without all of the noise and distractions.

"Pinkie!" a voice called from behind her. Turning, she saw a young, vibrantly pink mare with a matching mane and tail trot up to her with a wide smile. "Hey!"

"Come to throw rocks at me?" asked Pinkie. She was familiar with the treatment these Canterlot ponies gave her for being a farm pony in the center of the pinnacle of modern industry.

"What? No, I just wanted to say what you did in that class was brilliant!" she jumped to punctuate her point. Pinkie raised an eyebrow and muttered a thanks, she wasn't quite used to compliments, especially from a Canterlot pony.

"How did you guess all of that?"

Pinkie rolled her eyes, it was a common assumption to think Pinkie guessed all of the time and it was on that was beginning to annoy her. "I don't guess," she corrected, "I noticed. There are little details on everypony, details that are ignored all of the time. If you just take the time to look for them, you can figure things out quickly."

"Wow…" the filly was left speechless, awe-struck at Pinkie's ability. "What can you tell about me?"

Pinkie looked over the filly for a brief moment and opened her mouth—

"Oh, um, sorry Pinkie," the filly interrupted pointing to a carriage waiting outside of the gates. "My father is here to pick me up, I've got to go!"

"Right, right," Pinkie answered weakly.

"But, I'll see you class tomorrow!" the filly called out as she walked away, "That is unless they expelled you or something."

The young filly entered the carriage and sat in the sat opposite to a tall imposing stallion who greeted her with a warm smile.

"How was your day Cheerilee?" he asked.

Cheerilee giggled to herself as she recalled how confident and arrogant Pinkie Pie behaved in class. "Fun!"

The Detective

Monochrome and desolate stood the poorly aged and raggedy building as it was entrenched by heavy rain. The orange pegasus grimaced as she managed to decipher the defective neon sign that buzzed like so many bugs, THE AGNCY the sign ran, with the "E" fading in out of existence.

According to her sources, this was the place to go to for her troubles, but it wasn't anywhere particularly reassuring. The Agency was smack-dab in the middle of the sprawling metropolis of Manehattan but it hid behind the beauty and glitter of modernization and was localized primarily in the slums.

Sweetie Belle had, however, not been one to let down Scootaloo, so, she entered the building.

Immediately after she was assailed by the somewhat sweet stench of alcohol, a specific brand of spiced apple cider, the pegasus deduced as she made her way up the stairs, occasionally glancing at the card her friend provided to spot the corresponding door.

Three floors up she found purchase.

"221b," Scootaloo recited aloud, looking up at the door that read the number in gold letterings. Pocketing her sense of trepidation and hesitation, she knocked.

"Come in," a bored voice with a particularly distinct Southern accent answered.

Scootaloo entered.

The office, she decided, was in dire need of a maid. Scootaloo wasn't the most orderly of pegasi, but the cluttered mess that was presented offended even her. There were piles of folders and newspaper scattered everywhere, as if a tornado targeting office supplies struck here. To her left stood a tall bookshelf that was absolutely filled, the books weren't in order either, the A's were arranged with the Z's and so on. To her immediate right sat a desk along with a bored looking earth mare, on the desk sat an aged nameplate, "Applebloom" it read.

Like honey was her coat in perfect contrast with her fiery red mane and bow, like the beautiful sun, Scootaloo decided. Her eyes, like her mane, were an intense scarlet and zeroed in on Scootaloo with an indifferent interest, if that makes sense.

Scootaloo did not yield to the mare's logician's scrutiny and managed the most neutral expression she could muster.

"Yes?" the mare drawled out in her twangy brogue. Scootaloo mentally noted how pleasant that accent would be if she didn't sound so desperately bored.

"Sweetie Belle consulted me to you," Scootaloo began, and immediately Applebloom rolled her eyes but did not interrupt. "I need some help."

Applebloom dug through her desk and pulled out a bottle of apple cider. "Did she tell ya that Ah'm retired?"

"She told me you were the best," Scootaloo insisted.

Applebloom huffed wearily and took a swig. "Ya'll should be careful round that mare, she's a sweet talker but she'll rob ya blind with a smile."

"She's my friend."

"Is that what she told you?" Applebloom glared at her, obviously there was some history between the two mares.

"We're getting off-topic," Scootaloo deflected, "I need you to find somepony for me."

"I don't do that anymore," she answered, "I'm retired."

"Then why are you still in this office?"

"I live here?"

Scootaloo rolled her eyes and pointed at the papers on the floor. "These newspapers are recent, obviously, detective, you're still keeping an eye on things. Why would you do that if you're retired?"

"Keepin' up with times," the detective retorted sarcastically.

"I'm willing to pay."

Applebloom laughed and slammed her bottle down. "So, Ah tell you that Ah'm retired and your first response if to offer me money?"

"I need to find this person." Scootaloo pulled out a small bag of coins and tossed it on her desk.

"Why not go to the Royal Guard?" Applebloom asked, not looking at the money, "They can help. Heck, why not look for private investigators? If Belle told you about me, then she must've told you that Ah'm a consulting detective, Ah don't do private eye stuff."

"She told me all of that," Scootaloo pulled out a thick file from her saddlebag and placed it on the desk, "She also told me that you were the best."

Opening up the file, the pegasus pointed at a page with Applebloom standing beside Princess Celestia with a proud smile on her face. The headline ran, "PRIVATE DETECTIVE NAPS CAT BURGULAR".

"That's all in the past," Applebloom dismissed with a bored hoof. "Ah think Ah want to get into the apple business with mah sister."

Scootaloo slammed her hooves on the desk, scowling at the detective who returned the glare with an impassive look. "I need your help!"

"What you need is a better concept of manners," the detective drawled, "Maybe Belle that teach ya that, for better or worse, she was always good with proper manners."

"Look, I don't know what went on between you two, but that isn't important now. You're the only one who can help me, and I need you to get off your sorry flank and help!"

"Ah suggest taking up gardening, darling," mimicking the unicorn's verbal tic and accent, "Take your money and leave."

Applebloom turned around on her chair, leaving the pegasus exasperated and her stubbornness. "She's missing!"

Taking a deep breath, Scootaloo softened to a low whisper. "Sweetie Belle is missing. She disappeared a week ago and nopony knows where. She told me about you a while back," she chuckled lightly recalling the memory, "She wouldn't shut up about you. She thought you were amazing. But… all I see is a stubborn, tired old pony feeling sorry for herself."

The detective and her client remained silent for a moment.

"Leave…" the detective muttered in a low voice.

"Wha-"

"Ah said leave!" Applebloom turned suddenly, her eyes were red and puffy as tears began to pool, "Now!"

"It's your friend!" Scootaloo insisted.

"She's anything but that! Since the Gala, she…" Applebloom bit her lip and rubbed her eyes, "Ah'm better off without her."

"How can you say that?" Tears began to form in the pegasus's eyes as she thought of her friend, "She lo—"

"Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Applebloom! Are you down there?" A lilting sophisticated voice called from upstairs interrupted the ongoing playtime of the three fillies downstairs.

Sweetie Belle was the first to speak, "Yeah sis!"

The main room of the Carousel Boutique made for a perfect playground for the imaginative fillies as there were outfits galore for them all. Applebloom donned a black trench coat that was two sizes too big for her as she sat behind a makeshift desk composed of rolls of fabric. Scootaloo wore a similar outfit but her coat was the color of coal and she wore an accommodating hat. Sweetie Belle took a more grandiose attire, she wore a glittery purple dress (which Rarity designed specifically for her) and had her mane fixed up in a manner resembling her sister's.

It seems that after meeting the famed detective, Sweetie Belle became completely engrossed in detectives and detective stories. She cleverly thought up of this scenario from a book she read and sought to play it out with her two new best friends from school.

Applebloom was enthusiastic about the story, but Scootaloo was more hesitant and was quick to call the idea silly before suggesting ways to earn their cutie marks instead. Sweetie Belle managed to convince the stubborn pegasus into playing along and she surprisingly got into the play, even adlibbing a few times.

Rarity came down the stairs and the three fillies gasped in awe-struck. She wore an awesome dress that accented her figure with an very subtle application of make-up. Diamond earrings hung from her ears and her lips shone with a particularly crimson shade of lipstick that no doubt made any sane stallion double-take.

"Wow, you look amazing sis!" gasped Sweetie Belle.

"Why thank you darling," chuckled Rarity, "What are you girls doing?"

"Playing detective!" answered Applebloom.

"Ah, I love a good detective story," remarked Rarity.

"Where are you going, Rarity?" asked Scootaloo.

Rarity adjusted her dress and approached the door, smiling coyly at the fillies, "A wedding."

The Mystery of the Wandering Stallion (1)

Twilight Sparkle was unable to sleep. How could she? After all, she had just been accepted as Princess Celestia's personal pupil just this morning! The little filly could hardly contain herself when the Princess showed up and asked to personally teach her, her parents needed to strap her down in order to stop her from bouncing about like a mad pony.

Oh, and don't forget about her cutie mark! Although, it was a bit hard to figure out after a little while, it looked like a sunburst with nice shimmering crystals surrounding it. She didn't really know what it meant, though, after some explanation from the Princess she had hazarded a guess that it was magic.

Enigmatic, indeed, she didn't even know that magic as a cutie mark was a possibility! After all, magic was just an overgeneralized term describing the potentiality of all ponies, not merely unicorns. All ponies were capable of magic in some form or another; the most obvious were the corporeal and tangible levitation abilities of unicorns.

Nature affinities from the earth ponies, passive wind abilities and weather manipulation from the pegasi, and so on. Magic was everywhere. Was the cutie mark the result of her "raw" ability, like the Princess stated? The thoughts, however intricate, weren't enough to impede her excitement. She was sent off to the Princess's castle as soon as she was able, and even though she was anxious to go, she couldn't help but feel saddened at the prospect of leaving her family.

"This will open up a whole new world for you!" promised her father.

"Go! You will learn so much," added her mother.

"You'll love it, plus, it's the princess Twily!" remarked her brother.

Therefore, after a heartfelt, yet reluctant, goodbye, she was off. Excited to see what awaited her, Twilight had so many questions for the Princess, all of which were answered with infinite patience and incredible kindness.

After the 205th question, however, the Princess decided it was time for bed.

So, she left Twilight in her own room while she went off the lower the sun and bring the night.

But, as mentioned, Twilight was unable to sleep.

She sat at her desk (lovely, by the way) reading, trying to make herself sleepy, but nothing was working. She read about philosophy, physics, pharmaceuticals, photosynthesis, even pudding! But nothing worked, although it did make her severely interested in cooking, maybe she'll look something up when she gets back home.

Home.

Closing her book, Twilight stared out of the window and toward the night sky. She was barely gone a day and was already homesick. Maybe she should tell Princess Celestia to simply take her home, this personal tutelage doesn't seem right for her.

No, no, then what would her parents think? Twilight Sparkle, the pony personally picked out by the Princess to be her pupil preemptively preparing her leave on the first day? An embarrassment really. No, the Princess picked Twilight for a reason, she doesn't do anything without good reason, and she wouldn't have picked her if she didn't think there was something special about Twilight.

Twilight rubbed her eyes and went back to her book, her thoughts weren't making her tired, instead they were having an opposite effect; they were keeping her up and irritated.

"'Orion'"-- she read aloud --"'Sometimes called The Hunter, is a prominent constellation located on the-"

The room shook. A deep rumbling noise took Twilight by surprise as everything, even herself, shook, as though an earthquake suddenly localized in her room. The shaking wasn't violent, in fact, it was fairly subtle, and if Twilight were sleeping she'd probably have slept right through it! But it was obvious enough for her to notice it. What was that?

Shutting her book, she glared out the window to stare at the starry night. Nothing, the castle grounds were undisturbed… she guessed, it was too dark to see anything!

More rumbling snapped her back to reality, she nearly fell from her spot, the rumbling felt stronger and… above her.

An impossibly loud wooshing noise took her by surprise as a meteor flew right over the castle, into her line of sight, and past the castle grounds! No, wait, it wasn't a meteor, it was too… small.

Then, as the UFO fell out of sight, she heard a small thud; collision. Jumping away from the desk, she grabbed the lantern by the door and hesitated for a moment. Should she contact the Princess? After all, she would know what to do, right?

Twilight shook her head. The Princess was probably exhausted, setting the sun must not be an easy task. In any case, she should just investigate this more carefully by herself, at first, if any danger is present, she'd contact the Guard.

It was a futile attempt in reassuring herself, because she wanted to hide the real reason why she wanted to investigate.

Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia's personal pupil, swore she saw a pony in that meteor.

Making her decision, she took chase.

She had miscalculated how far the UFO traveled and how immense these castle grounds were. Armed with only a simple lantern, Twilight scurried all around the grounds, trying to find the crash site, with no avail. Every time she overtook a hill a larger one just appeared in front of her. After twenty minutes, she was ready to pack it up and go back, until she smelled it.

Something smelled burnt and a bit familiar, she only smelled that scent when the pegasus took to the earth. It smelled like ozone.

Her heart lifted, maybe she found it. She ran toward the hill in front of her, the scent getting stronger, very literally, as she neared the top of the hill. She could hear something burning, and electricity crackling. What was it that crashed?!

Reaching the summit, she looked with unbridled excitement at the bottom of the hill to find a massive crater. And within the crater, she spotted it: a large blue box? It was flipped on its side, but it just looked like a normal… box. Nothing remarkable about it except…

Twilight tilted her head to read it properly."Police Box?"

Then, the box doors opened, Twilight jumped back slightly, aiming her lantern at it.

"W-who's there?" her voice betraying her insatiable curiosity.

Tentatively, a hoof popped out of the box and tried to steady itself. Then, very suddenly, a stallion had propped himself over the box, panting, soaking wet, and wearing the most peculiar clothes. She fixed the light on him so that she could see better. He was chestnut brown with a darker brown mane, his eyes are of the lightest of blue, and he wore a very large, very tattered, brown coat.

"Well!" he said delightfully cheerful despite how strange he appeared. "That didn't go very well. I wonder why the TARDIS acted wonky like that, probably hadn't adjusted for the sudden transition to normal space in this particular- oh, hello! Are you- is that a unicorn! Fantastic! An actual unicorn, this place is getting more interesting than I thought!"

This stallion had a strange accent, probably from Hoofington, he spoke quickly and muttered a lot, his eyes were excitable and full of impossible energy, but Twilight saw something else there…

"Purple?" he frowned. "What an odd color, but then again you are a unicorn after all!"

"Who are you?" Twilight asked, more irritated with this stallion's eccentricity.

"Ah, yes, a question!" his eyes lit up brilliantly. "A boring one at that, the more interesting question, however, is, do you have any pears?"

Twilight stepped back, almost startled at his question, before fixing a quiet look of concentration into those bright blue eyes of his.

"No, why?"

"Are you lying to me?"

"No, I am telling the truth."

"Good!"

Then the stallion pushed himself up off the blue box and leapt right out, landing a few feet away from Twilight, "Lovely to meet you, I'm-"

Just as quickly as he got on his hooves, he fell right back down, tumbling over himself like some sort of foal. He fell flat on his face, but managed to complete his introduction, although it was a bit muffled with the mud in his mouth, "-The Doctor."

"Doctor?" Twilight repeated. "You don't seem like a doctor."

The Doctor then removed his face from the ground and grinned at Twilight, but he didn't stand back up, he was having trouble, it seems, getting his bearings. "Oh? Then what do I seem like then, uh, miss…"

"Twilight Sparkle," she supplied. "And you're just… weird, what is that thing you climbed out of, and why can't you stand up properly like a normal pony?"

"Weird is good, weird is fantastic! Without weird we would only have those boring Sunday afternoons and dreadful Thursdays, no, with weird we get supernovas, neutron stars, and Saturdays! You see Glitter Dawn-"

"Twilight Sparkle," she corrected.

"Weird makes everything fun."

Twilight rolled her eyes, for an adult, he didn't live up to the expectations. This "Doctor" acted mostly like a child, gleefully smiling at the prospect of getting into trouble if it meant the chance of adventure.

"As to why I can't stand up, well, it appears that my legs aren't functioning properly," he tried to push himself back up, but overexerted and flipped himself over until he was lying flat on his back. "Gravity is normal here, well, as normal as it can get with a talking purple unicorn, but I can't seem to orient myself properly. It might have something to do with the fact-, oh my! Hooves?"

The Doctor sat back up and stared at his forelegs as if he just noticed them, "Hooves!" he smiled mischievously, as if sharing a private joke with Twilight, he then felt his face and brushed his hooves over his mane. "Horse snout, thick mane, ah, still not ginger, and-" he looked at his backside and laughed. "A great bushy tail! Oh my, that's different!"

"Are… you okay?" Twilight asked, if this pony didn't even know he was a pony then she may need to exercise caution, "Did you hit your head or something?"

"I'm always okay! I'm just a horse! That's something that doesn't happen every day." Much like a foal, he awkwardly stood on his legs, knees wobbling with uncertainty.

"Pony," she corrected, "The correct term is pony."

Suddenly, with unbridled vigor, the Doctor was right in front of Twilight, nose to nose, his curious eyes boring into her own.

"You're a smart one Afternoon Shimmer, then again, I suppose even a little girl like you would know the difference between ponies and horses," he laughed again, showing off his eccentric smile before he frowned and chomped down on his teeth and tilted his head at Twilight, "New teeth… that's weird."

"First off, it's Twilight Sparkle, and second off, the difference is obvious: ponies are generally much shorter than horses, they also have thicker manes and tails and heavier coats, it's really quite obvious."

"I see, and what's this here on my rump? Looks like some sort of brand!" The Doctor then glanced at his flank, barely covered by his long brown tattered coat, to show off a strange cutie mark: a golden hourglass.

Twilight rolled her eyes, how could an adult pony not know the basics already? He must've hit his head or something, he certainly hadn't denied it when she asked before.

"It's your cutie mark," she explained. "It describes your special talent. Since yours is an hourglass your talent is probably… time!"

"Yes! That's me, the Time Pony. Or is it Lord of Pony Time?" The strange earth pony then began to trot in a circle, awkwardly walking with his legs slightly shaking, as if each step hurt. "But then, what does your, ah, cutie mark mean? It looks quite strange."

Coming from this mad pony who popped out of a box, she wasn't very insulted. "It represents my special talent; magic."

"That doesn't really look like magic really," he said. "It looks more like a… sunburst, really."

"It's a bit ambiguous," she admitted. "But I have a lot of magical ability, the Princess said so herself, you know?"

She explained this with such pride in her voice that she had puffed out her chest and closed her eyes, waiting for him to exclaim in an impressed tone of voice. But silence had only answered her; she opened her eyes to see the Doctor running all around this hill. He was looking at the grass, sniffing the trees, and even licking rocks! All the while mumbling to himself in his excitable manner.

"Magic, you say?" he remarked half-heartedly. "Aren't all unicorns capable of that? You know, with the magical horns and stuff?"

"Yes, but, wait!" Twilight had to run to catch up with the awkwardly tumbling Doctor as he rushed past her and went toward the castle. "Unicorns can perform magic, but the basic kind! Since my specialty is magic, I can do a lot more than normal unicorns!"

The Doctor may not have heard Twilight, as he showed no indication that he was listening. Instead, he continued mumbling to himself as he ran away. "Why did the TARDIS send me here? As a horse?"

"Pony," Twilight corrected. "And wait!"

Magic gathered at her horn, she hadn't yet used this spell yet, but her small little legs couldn't keep up with the Doctor even if he didn't have full use of his yet. With a swift crackle and a flash of light, Twilight disappeared from her spot and reappeared right in front of the Doctor.

"What is the TARDIS, who exactly are you? You seem awfully suspicious for a doctor, w-wait, what're you, AH!"

Without stopping, the Doctor ran right over Twilight, but instead of trampling the little filly, she tried to jump to avoid him but ended up bumping right into his body, flipping up and landing right on his back.

"Time And Relative Dimension in Space, and honestly Daytime Sparkle-"

"You're getting close at least," she remarked sarcastically.

"-I thought you were smarter than that. I already told you, I'm the Doctor."

"Doctor Who?"

"Even unicorns will say that then huh," he snickered as he trotted along.

"Where are you going?" Twilight asked, desperate to get some information from this strange pony, she hated not knowing something.

The Doctor stopped immediately, causing Twilight to fall off his back and land on the ground. Before she could get up, the Doctor was already in front of her, nose-to-nose. His playful expression was gone and replaced by a moderately serious one, his eyebrows were furrowed and his intense blue eyes seemed to pierce her very soul, as if he wanted to will her life-story out of her.

"The TARDIS may be acting a bit… erratic as of late, but she doesn't take me somewhere where I don't need to be. Wherever, or whenever, this place is, it must be important. Right now, I'm trying to figure out what's so important about this place," he explained with a smile. "Any questions? No? Didn't think so! Now, in the words of a very important m-, er, that is, pony, allons-y!"

Frowning, the Doctor quietly repeated that strange word to himself. "Did I really used to say that? No, no, I'll need to think of something different something new."

"Think of what?!" Twilight asked, very close to yelling at this Doctor.

"A catchphrase! Every hero has a catchphrase, and if I'm going to be a pony hero, I'll need an accommodating catchphrase."

"Like Mare Do Well?" As soon as Twilight said that, however, she bit her tongue. Why had she let it slip that she knew Mare Do Well? Twilight was a very serious academic pony, always focused on her work, but there were times, quite rare mind you, where she would take a break from reading those dusty old books and read comics.

Her favorite was The Adventures of the Mysterious Mare Do Well, a relatively new comic series that Twilight got hooked on when she accidentally checked that out instead of a book on astrophysics.

"Mare Do Well, who is he?" The Doctor asked.

"She is a superhero, of sorts. She's a comic book character, her real name is Felicity Peridot, and she's an intrepid reporter for-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, but why did you mention her first? What's so important about her?" he asked again impatiently.

"N-nothing, she was just the first to come to mind, that's all." Twilight quickly explained.

The Doctor looked behind her quickly and, for a fraction of a second, his eyes widened but to avoid alerting her, his neutral calm expression reappeared and he stared right at her.

"Describe her, go on, her outfit and everything," he asked in his rapid-fire speech.

"Um, well, Felicity is a unicorn who-"

"No, no, I meant her costume, Mare Do Well, what is her costume like?"

"Oh, well, her original costume was pretty cool, but in the Ultimate Universe she got a redesign and-" she stopped when she saw the Doctor's glare intensified at her digression, "But, um, her original costume was mostly black and purple. She wore form-fitting tights that covered her entire body, a black mask with purple eyes, a large collar, a long billowing cape and-"

"A very large purple hat," the Doctor finished.

"Yeah, how did you know that?" she asked naïvely.

"Twilight Sparkle, what I need you to do is to continue looking at me. Under no circumstances will you turn around, do you understand?"

"Wait, why?" she turned her head slightly but the Doctor stopped her, holding her cheeks with his hooves and turned it back so she was still face to face with him.

"No!" he said, "Never break eye-contact with me, do you understand?"

"Doctor…" her voice became a little shaky with how sudden his change in mood was, one moment he was cheerfully bouncing like a mad pony and the next he spoke frostily and seriously, "What's going on? Doctor, what's behind me?"

"Twilight," he started, ignoring her question, "Do you know how when you're scared and adults try to calm you down by promising you that everything will be alright and you suspect them of lying?"

"Y-yeah?"

Then, he pressed his head against her forehead and smiled that delightfully cheerful yet arrogant grin, "Everything will be alright Twilight, trust me, I'm the Doctor."

Her vision went black and the next thing she heard was the sound of an explosion.

~--~

Daylight filtered through my window, unnecessarily bathing me in its warmth, rousing me from my sleep. I shook slightly, startled at this sudden greeting from Celestia's sun. Refusing to open my eyes, I grumbled under my breath and dug deeper within my blankets.

Last night was exhausting. Pinkie and I spent the entirety of it running through the rather dirty streets of Manehattan, searching for a pony that had escaped the mental hospital a week ago. By the time we found the squirrely escapee, I was ready to slip into a week-long coma with how tired I was. I don't remember how and when I got home, but this bed was too comfortable to leave.

Wrapping my legs around my pillow, I hugged it, happy for its warmth and feel. Except… wait, it felt like fur and I could feel a heartbeat under my hooves. I opened my eyes and saw a bright wall of pink in front of me, because the pillow I was hugging was Pinkie Pie, whose face was only inches away from mine.

If I had jumped any higher I would've taken to the skies.

"P-P-P-Pinkie! What're you…" I stammered stupidly as I sat there on the foot of my bed. Pinkie, now fully awake from my brief lapse into insanity, stared at me past the blankets and gave me a small smile.

"Good morning Twi!" she chirped before yawning which made me yawn (stupid sympathetic yawn).

"Pinkie, why were you sleeping in my bed?"

Pinkie frowned and tilted her head curiously. "Because you invited me to, remember?"

I thought back to last night but couldn't recall anything. I don't remember getting home or even getting into bed! Had I… Oh Celestia, please tell me I didn't.

"P-Pinkie, did we… I mean, were we…." I couldn't muster up the courage to spit it out, how could I ask her if we… you know?

She leapt off the bed and patted my head. "We were both tired from the case last night, and as I was about to go back home you suggested I spend the night here so I don't have to walk far. I was supposed to stay on my side of the bed, but you crawled over and hugged me!" She laughed innocently. "You were pretty warm Twi."

I'm sure I turned as red as a beet as I felt warmth tickle my cheeks. The only thought that had occurred to me was that Pinkie and I hadn't done anything… well, risqué last night, a mixture of disappointment and contentment had churned in my stomach; or perhaps I was just hungry.

"S-sorry about that then," I muttered, feeling particularly sorry for myself.

Pinkie shook her head. "Nah, it's okay, I slept pretty well! Except for when you jumped out of bed like that, that was scary. Did something bite you? Ooh! Did a radioactive spider bite you and now you have superpowers?"

Her little deviation had made me feel a little better. To know that she didn't seem affected by our sleeping conditions, I would hate to think that I was an uncomfortable pillow or that my breath smelled bad.

Ah, maybe I should cut that part out…

Anyhow, Pinkie and I fixed ou- er, that is to say, my bed and we went downstairs. Although my ears were still ringing from the prospect of sleeping with Pinkie (I'm not a pervert, I'm just saying it was kinda nice waking up to see her) my mind was still clouded from that dream.

It was a dream from when I was younger, when I had spent my first night at Celestia's castle as her official student. I was so excited that I could barely sleep and then, from out of nowhere, a UFO crashed! Like the silly filly that I was, I investigated. It was there I met the Doctor for a very brief twenty seconds. In a lot of ways, he reminded me of Pinkie, so blissfully cheerful with excitement gleaming in his eyes. But I remember those eyes, they were so old as if he had seen the infinite expanses of everything and was consequently burdened.

Afterward, I don't really remember much. I remember the Doctor's last words to me "Trust me, I'm the Doctor." then the next thing I knew, I woke up in my room with a bunch of books thrown around on the floor, it was morning and I was at my desk as if I had been there all night.

Desperately, I had called the Royal Guard and insisted that the Doctor existed and that everything the night previous was true. I even showed them the crash-site but, to my surprise, the Doctor's strange vessel (what had he called it?... The TARDIS?) and its occupant was gone. The Guard was convinced that I was just a sleep deprived filly who had a nightmare, but the Princess wasn't so sure.

She asked me to recollect everything from that night. Nervously, I explained everything. The more and more I talked the less sense I was beginning to make, even I couldn't believe my own story. I was beginning to lose faith and I imagined Celestia was as well, until I mentioned the Doctor.

Her eyes widened like saucers, she stepped closer to me and asked. "The Doctor? You met him? What did he say? Did he do anything?"

Naturally, I was terrified. I had never seen the Princess act so passionately before, so, I did what any other filly would do in that situation. I lied. I told her that it was probably a dream; that I had read about a cartoon character that was a doctor and made him up. The Princess wasn't convinced but she hadn't pressed the issue.

Still, I couldn't help but think, even to this day, that the Princess knew the Doctor. Maybe she had heard of him or maybe she actually met him? Whatever the case is, the Doctor was a very strange pony and I would hate to imagine what it would be like if he met up with Pinkie.

I wasn't sure why I was thinking about him, or even why I had a dream about him last night, but I was very distracted and Pinkie had very predictably noticed.

"What's wrong?" she asked with those impossibly large eyes of hers.

"Nothing," I lied. "Just had a weird dream."

"Oh, me too!" she jumped grinning madly. "I had a dream where I was like four hundred feet tall and could eat the clouds and drink rainbows! It was cool until the giant robot started to attack, but hey, what're you gonna do? It was part of the giant robot parade."

I giggled as she explained her strange dream because it was just like Pinkie to inadvertently cheer me up with her eccentricity. I felt very compelled to tell her about my dream, but I wasn't sure how she was going to react to it; would she laugh at me? Call me crazy or imaginative? No, this is Pinkie we're talking about; she wouldn't make fun of me.

"Pinkie, I-"

"Oh, Twi, I gotta head out soon actually," interrupted Pinkie as she headed into the other room. "Princess Celestia is waiting for me to bring something to her."

"Wait, the princess called you?" I asked, following her, why would the princess call her and not me? "What does she want?"

"Top secret business Twi, you understand right?"

I frowned, very offended that my own teacher, the mare that practically raised me like a surrogate mother (actually, I would rather think of her as an elder sister) would be more interested in taking Pinkie over me! Don't misunderstand my dear readers; I'm not angry at Pinkie, just… confused. Did both of them just not want to be with me today?

Dear Celestia, I sound like a filly.

I know that I haven't talked to Celestia in a while, but still, couldn't she have, I don't know, sent a letter to say hi? Then again, it isn't like I've sent any letters to her either.

"Yeah, I guess," I answered finally, my voice faltering.

The ever hyper-observant Pinkie noticed my sudden change in mood and turned around with a big smile on her face. "Don't worry Twi, just going to bring something to her then I'll be back in a jiffy!"

To top it off, the wonderfully silly pony hugged me; like a mother comforting her foal. Pinkie giggled into my neck which tickled me causing me to giggle back.

"Jiffy huh? Isn't that a weird word? It's like, what are you? A measurement of time or distance?" she mused innocently.

"Yeah… weird."

It was about eight o'clock when she left. The Royal Guard had sent a chariot to pick her up, and she waved goodbye to me as I stood pathetically at the library doors, watching her fly away. It felt like I was some distressed bride, biding goodbye to my lover. Maybe I should scratch that part out…

Anyways, with Pinkie gone I had literally nothing to do. Spike was also in Canterlot on official royal duties, so there is no one here to keep me company, well, except for Gummy and Owlowiscious, but the two stoic pets paid me no mind as I sat depressingly at my desk.

Owlowiscious flew over to me with a plate of food in his beak. "Hoo," he advised.

"No thank you," I answered. "I'm not hungry…"

"Hoo."

"No, not thirsty either."

"Hoo."

"I don't know, she said in a jiffy, and I looked up the word in every dictionary I own, and I still don't know what it means!"

"Hoo."

"You're right… I can't just mope around like this, I'm not some foal who is missing her friend. You're right Owlowiscious, gosh, you always know what to say."

"Hoo."

"You. I'm talking about- Oh, ha, very funny Owlowiscious," I giggled as the owl kindly, and partially, bowed and flew off, content that he had cheered up her owner.

But Owlowiscious was right, Pinkie wouldn't want me moping around like a sad pony. She'd want me to be happy, after all, the heart grows fonder with distance!

…

I'm definitely going to scratch that part out.

But, as I got up the entire library shook. I had to struggle to maintain vertical as I heard a familiar sound that chilled my bones. It was an almost lyrical wooshing of the air, as if the universe was having difficulty breathing. Then, after a few seconds, a loud thud shook the library and I turned toward the source of the sound to see an impossibility.

Because standing over at the corner was a very tall blue box with the words "POLICE BOX" written on the top of it. The very same police box I had seen years ago as a filly.

It couldn't be. No, it simply couldn't be, it was as the guard said! It was just a dream! It isn't real, it can't be real, and there is no such thing as materializing boxes and crazy ponies that ride it…

What if the Doctor was…

No, no, Twilight get rational! He can't exist, he's just a dream.

The doors opened inward and a stallion poked his head out and looked at me with a wide smile. I stood frozen as I recognized those bright blue eyes filled with energy. It was the Doctor.

"Hello!" he chirped. "I was wondering, do you have anything to eat?"

The Impossible Hero (2)

I wasn’t very sure if I had reacted properly to a big blue box materializing in the middle of my library and a pony that had been deemed a figment of my imagination so many years ago popped out of said blue box, but, personally, I think I gave it a good shot. For starters, I stood there, mouth agape, as the impossible pony jumped around the library, staring at all of the books with infinite curiosity.

“I say, you even have books here!” he quipped cheerfully. “But how would you hold on to it? These hooves are rubbish for fine manipulation of objects, I- op!”

The curious stallion tripped over his own hooves and fell flat on his face, but that hadn’t impeded his happy demeanor as he simply laughed and got back on his hooves again to continue babbling on. I stood there and stared at him, trying to absorb every single detail about him. I knew of Pinkie’s methods, I should apply them shouldn’t I?

First thing to note is that this pony appeared to not have aged a single day! He looked exactly as I remembered: messy brown mane, big bright excitable blue eyes, and a golden hourglass for a cutie mark. The only real difference was his clothes. Instead of his tattered coat, he wore a clean coffee brown jacket that only partially covered his cutie mark and a curious red bowtie around his neck.

“Ah, hello! Is anyone there?” Suddenly, the pony was right in front of me, staring at me with infinite curiosity. “Are you okay? Didn’t hit your head there did you?”

“I-I-I…” was all I could muster.

“That’s three ‘I’s in one sentence, it makes you sound like an egotistical young, uh, unicorn,” he laughed, as if he were sharing a secret joke with me. “But really, do you have something edible here? I think I could eat anything, I’m so hungry. Well, except for pears, do I still hate them? Ah, best not test that.”

“H-how are you here?!” I cried. “You can’t exist, you were just a figment of my imagination. It isn’t scientifically possible that you’re here, you’re not scientifically possible!”

“And why not? I may be a horse now, but I’m still me, at least, I think so. But still, these hooves are absolutely terrible, it’s impossible to walk on them much less fly the TARDIS.”

“And on that subject, what is a TARDIS? Who are you? How are you here and for Celestia’s sake, please don’t break that!” I ran over to him as he was moving toward my bust of Leonard DiHoovsie I levitated the bust away from him and safely secured it by the front door.

“Fascinating!” he gushed. “Telekinetic abilities through a localized resistant medium. I wonder…”

He then reached into his coat and pulled out a strange little device, it looked like a wand except it was silver with a bulb at the end of it. At first I thought it was some sort of weapon, so, I stepped back, entirely wary, but he then dropped the device. Cursing, the pony tried to pick up the wand with his hooves but awkwardly fumbled it.

“How do you horses pick things up with these hooves it’s impossible I tell you! Give me five minutes and I’ll figure it out.” He turned back to the wand and struggled to pick it up, giving up finally after thirty attempts; he simply bent over and picked it up with his mouth.

He grinned at me and said something that was incoherent, but I think it went like this: “See! Figured it out!”

“Listen, I, ah!” I stepped back because the wand was now glowing a dull green and he aimed it at my horn. “What’re you doing?!”

He spat out the device and pressed a button on it which made it open up and he stared at it for a second. “Scanning your horn, don’t worry, completely harmless that is until it shorts out. Ho, ho, that’s how you do it. Redirecting the energy there but with several psychic barriers to prevent it from clogging up and causing a nasty little explosion, it doesn’t seem designed for simply telekinetics, probably a learned function.”

Then, he flicked the wand, causing it to jump in the air and caught it effortlessly with his right hoof. Raising his eyebrows at me, as if I were supposed to be impressed, he pocketed the device and smiled at me. “Say, you look familiar then again I don’t know many purple unicorns with attitude problems.”

“Attitude problems?”

“Exactly! Do I know you from somewhere?” He got uncomfortably close but this time I hadn’t backed out. Letting him get this close was only affirming my theory, this was the Doctor, the same eccentric pony that bounced into my life for fifteen seconds and left just as quickly.

“Twilight Sparkle,” I told him. “You know, the little unicorn you scared half to death eleven years ago?”

“Twilight Sparkle! You mean the little unicorn with the attitude and the rather high opinion about herself who thought she knew more about ponies and horses than me?”

“Yes!”

“Never heard of her.”

“Doctor!”

“I’m just kidding!” the Doctor then wrapped his legs around me and put me in a great big hug. “Haha! Twilight Sparkle, the curious little unicorn! How could I ever forget you? It feels like last time I saw you, you were only a child! Oh, or is the term filly?”

I pushed him off and glared at him indignantly. I don’t quite appreciate a pony messing up my childhood and having everypony think I’m a crazy unicorn with an imaginary friend suddenly reappearing in my life as if he were some long lost friend. Whoever this Doctor thought he was he had a lot to explain.

“Filly, I was nine back then when you fell from the sky! In that… TARDIS whatever it is. You know how embarrassing it was to explain to the princess what happened that night? She looked at me like I was crazy! The guards were convinced that you were just a figment of my imagination, and I nearly got sent to some ‘special’ doctors as they put it. What are you doing here again? What exactly is a TARDIS? And that strange device you had earlier? WHO ARE YOU?”

I probably shouldn’t have raised my voice like that, but I was frustrated. Pinkie leaving earlier had put a toll on me, something that I hadn’t expected was entirely possible, and then this pony comes back again to make everything worse. Anypony in my situation would’ve reacted the same way, I was not in the mood for the Doctor’s games, and I wanted answers now.

To my surprise, however, the Doctor hadn’t reacted to my sudden mood change. He looked at me with those enigmatic eyes of his; he wasn’t smiling anymore but wasn’t frowning either. His expression was absolutely neutral.

“Time and Relative Dimension in Space,” he said simply. “I’ve told you this before. It’s a time machine, with it, I can go anywhere in space and any time, and the whole universe is at my beck and call, if you will. And as for this”—he took out the wand—“it’s a sonic screwdriver, as I said. It can do pretty much anything I want it to, much like your horn except cooler.”

“Time travel?” I scoffed incredulously. “That isn’t possible. There aren’t any spells for major time travel, only one that lasts for, like, fifteen seconds.”

“Well, obviously, you lot haven’t tried hard enough, you see, it is relatively easy once you understand the basics of quantum temporal-spatial manipulation to- ooh, what is that!”

Like a sugar-wired hyperactive foal, the Doctor ran across the room and toward my desk where Owlowiscious stoically stood, unimpressed with this so-called time traveler. Rolling my eyes, I followed suit as the Doctor marveled at the simple owl, which made me think how a time-traveler could be easily impressed by a woodland creature.

“You are beautiful, been a while since I’ve seen an owl, hopefully, this one won’t fancy me for a meal eh?” He looked over his shoulder and grinned at me before turning back to Owlowiscious. “Hello, I’m the Doctor.”

“Hoo,” responded Owlowiscious.

“No, just Doctor.”

“Hoo.”

“Me, I’m the Doctor.”

“Hoo.”

“You cheeky little bird-“

“Are you quite through yet?” I interrupted, staring incredulously at the Doctor. Here I was under the belief that this Doctor was an amazing, yet eccentric, pony but he was just a strange stallion with some serious attention span problems. “Why exactly are you here then?”

“Twilight, how much do you remember about that night eleven years ago?”

“What do you mean? I remember your TARDIS dropping from the sky and you running around like some sort of foal, you couldn’t even stand up straight you were so disorientated.”

“I told you, it’s difficult to walk on these hooves! After 700 years, I’ve grown fond of feet,” he defended childishly.

“Anyways,” I continued, ignoring the bit about feet. “Then we were talking about super heroes then about Mare Do Well then..”

I frowned, my memory stopped there. I couldn’t remember what happened next, but it was so fuzzy and so physically there that I could basically imagine what had happened. You know when you have a word on the tip of your tongue? Like you know what the word should be, but can’t remember what it is? It was like that for me, except about something that I could never ever forget; but why did I forget it?

“You don’t remember, do you?” the Doctor guessed.

“N-no,” I muttered, my heart racing a bit, this was impossible, how could I forget? It’s like forgetting the face of your own mother. “I don’t. Doctor, how could I forget it?”

“Twilight, don’t panic, I wouldn’t expect you to remember much anyways. You were so young,” he trotted toward me and I hadn’t backed off, placing his hooves on my head, he stared intensely at me, “I’m here because you were attacked back then Twilight. Normally, I would have been able to handle whatever that had attacked us, but this horse form is too awkward to navigate.”

“Pony,” I corrected as a nostalgic smile came to my face, back then he couldn’t tell the difference either, I suppose ponies don’t change.

“Right, pony,” he chuckled. “I need you to remember what we were talking about, Twilight. About superheroes.”

“What? Why? Just tell me about whatever that had attacked me, I can help you-“

“There’s no time for that. Just remember.”

I wanted to argue but I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere with a pony as stubborn as he was. So, instead I remember about our conversation. The Doctor wanted to come up with a new catchphrase because his old one, apparently, wasn’t suitable. Then I brought up Mare Do Well and that’s when the Doctor behaved weirdly. He asked me why I brought up her and then asked me to describe her.

I haven’t read a Mare Do Well comic in a very long time, but I could remember what she looked like. She wore form-fitting tights with a large, obnoxious purple collar to match her purple cape. Her mask was as dark as her outfit along with her eyes, and atop her head, hiding her unicorn horn, sat a very large, very fancy purple hat.

The entire library became twenty degrees colder. I heard Owlowiscious fly away and I shivered, it was as if a snowpony was standing behind me, breathing down my neck. Opening my eyes, I yelped, because right behind the Doctor stood the Dark Pony, the Mare that trots in the night; Mare Do Well was standing right beside the TARDIS.

I couldn’t see her expression underneath her mask, but I swore she was glaring at us, as if the Doctor was her coltfriend and she was jealous that I was making a move on him. Instinctively, I backed off as the Doctor turned to look at Mare Do Well.

“How did she get in here?!” I cried.

“Short range temporal displacement via vortex manipulator, very nasty way to time travel,” answered the Doctor as he walked toward the masked hero. “But you! I thought I got rid of you so long ago! What are you doing here?”

Mare Do Well looked at him, then moved her head a fraction at me. The Doctor looked at me then back at her and laughed. “Her? Why do you want her? She’s a bit loud, and rude, oh, and she’s always in a bad mood-“

“Hey!” I interjected.

“So why her?”

Mare Do Well stared at him for a few moments, and I still couldn’t really believe my eyes. This was the real Mare Do Well, exactly as I imagined her, either this was a very, very avid fan who could piece together that suit so quickly or this was… no, Twilight, that’s impossible.

Looking at the Doctor, however, I was beginning to accept that impossibilities are disturbingly more common than I would hope for.

“She is the daughter of the sunburst,” Mare Do Well said, but not in a normal voice. Her voice was mechanical, and lacked any semblance of emotion, but it wasn’t robotic, it was still pony-like but was dead in terms of tone. “She will do.”

“For what?” the Doctor asked. “What do you want her to do?”

“She is the daughter of the sunburst.”

“Yeah, yeah, heard that part already, what does that entail?”

“She is the daughter of the sunburst.”

“Doctor,” I whispered to him, even though I was sure that Mare Do Well could still hear me. “What is she talking about?”

“I’ve got a few hunches. Maybe seven. Good news is, they aren’t bad hunches,” he whispered back before diverting his attention back to Mare Do Well. “Well! Now that we’ve got that out of the way, I’ve got some bad news to break to you Ms. Mare Do Well. Whatever you want with her, whatever you plan to do with, or to, her is going to be horribly impeded. Because last time we met, you weren’t a very nice super-hero to me, tried to blow me up, I don’t appreciate that very much; I try not to get blown up before Thursday. Whatever you want, you’ll have to go through me, Twilight Sparkle and this whole planet is now under my protection!”

Mare Do Well hadn’t reacted, maybe she wasn’t affected by his oh-so riveting speech as he had expected. In fact, she stood so still I thought she had been inflicted by a cockatrice’s stare! After a few seconds, she tilted her head, like a confused dog.

“Threat determined, Time Lord. The daughter of the sunburst will remain unharmed,” she said in her mechanical voice.

“See!” beamed the Doctor. “All better.”

“You will be extinguished Time Lord, your involvement will not impede my progress, as you say. You will die, Time Lord.”

“Wait, what did she call you?” I asked.

“That’s what you’re concerned about. Not the fact that she threatened to kill me?!” squeaked the Doctor.

“Sorry! But Time Lord what kind of pony is that-“

“Move!”

The Doctor tackled me as a fireball flew past my head and incinerated a bookshelf. I yelped in horror as I watched the Mystery section burn up. To my right, I could see Mare Do Well floating, she was several feet off the ground but she wasn’t using her wings, she just floated there. Her eyes were glowing white and her horn burned with magic.

“Those are offensive spells!” I cried.

“Yeah, well, she doesn’t seem very pleased with us now does she?” the Doctor snapped.

“No! I meant these spells are something even the Royal Guard aren’t taught. They’re too powerful and unstable, the only one capable of using these spells would be the princesses or me!”

I saw another fireball spelling being conjured by Mare Do Well. I needed to act fast or the entire library would be burned down. Using my legs, I kicked the Doctor off me and sent him flying across the room, hopefully he’ll be safe.

As expected, Mare Do Well focused her attention on me. If she wanted me so badly, she’s going to have to try very hard. Her horn glowed and mine did as well as I charged up a spell. Another fireball shot out of her horn, aimed right at me, but it got absorbed by the force-field I erected. A large purple bubble surrounded me as the fireball neared and diminished as it touched it. The bubble disappeared and I countered with a magic blast of my own, not a fireball, of course, but a bolt of pure magic.

The bolt struck Mare Do Well in the chest, making her stagger in mid-air, I thought I had properly stunned her but she just looked angry. She recovered from her hit and fired a beam of magic at me, having no time to produce a force-field I faced her beam head-on, and by that I mean I fired a beam at her as well. My beam of magic collided with hers and I nearly passed out from the intensity of her power.

I focused, I wasn’t Princess Celestia’s pupil for no good reason, I was chosen because of my raw ability; now it was time to prove it to this imposter. Managing to maintain my magic, we stood at a stalemate for a few moments. I was so focused on my magic that I hadn’t noticed the Doctor to my left fumbling with his sonic screwdriver.

“Twilight! Keep that up, I’ve got a plan!” I heard him yell.

I wanted to respond but the most I could muster were awkward groans and pained mutterings. My body was burning now, my muscles felt weak and my mind addled. I felt faint as a rainbow spectrum of colors dotted my vision, I was losing consciousness.

Hurry Doctor, I screamed in my mind. The magic beams were now growing unstable, as wisps of energy sparked out of the stalemate and clashed against the walls and ceiling. If this continued, the entire library would blow up from the raw energy creating friction between them.

A very loud, very painful buzzing noise was then emitted from the Doctor’s direction. As soon as I was able to hear it, my mind went fuzzy, my muscles felt like jelly and my spell was stopped abruptly. It wasn’t from an outside source, the spell was stopped because I was unable to concentrate on it; thankfully, however, Mare Do Well’s spell stopped as well and when I looked up I saw her reacting to the Doctor’s interference the same way I had.

I dropped to my knees and placed my hooves on my head, hoping to stop the ensuing headache that made the world appear monochromatic. As much as I wanted to cry out in pain, I couldn’t for my mouth was useless and wasn’t listening to my commands.

As suddenly as it came, the noise stopped. Instantly, my mind cleared and my body slowly recovered from the pain. Blinking the dots out of my vision, I saw the Doctor run up to Mare Do Well, aiming his screwdriver at her.

Because he had the screwdriver in his mouth, it was difficult to understand what he was saying, but I hazard to guess he meant to say, “What are you? And why take that form?”

But Mare Do Well was tougher than she appeared; she had recovered faster than I from the Doctor’s attack, spun around and expertly kicked him on the chest, sending him across the room. I stood to help, but I was too weak and was useless as she looked right at me and said, “The Doctor will continue to interfere, it seems. You are no longer of any interest, daughter of the sunburst.”

I was going to say something cool like, “What does that mean?” but mumbled incoherently as a sphere closed around Mare Do Well and she disappeared.

“No, no, no! Blast! Who knows where she’ll be now?!” The Doctor ran around the library like a crazed pony. Thankfully, he had helped me put out the fire but the library looked horrible. Books were thrown everywhere, the walls were charred from the power of our magic, the windows were broken, but thankfully, my bust of Leonard was untouched.

Then, the Doctor turned on his hooves, his flank slamming into my bust causing it to fall and shatter on the floor. Oh, great…

I didn’t have the energy to yell at him for destroying a priceless artifact, so, like a weak foal, I got to my hooves and turned to the Doctor.

“What was that thing? Why was she calling me ‘daughter of the sunburst’?” My voice was hoarse despite not having yelled, high intensity magic of the degree I produced earlier was enough to knock out a fully grown Guard pony.

“But where could she have gone?” he mumbled, “And why here? Why not when she was younger?”

“Doctor, what are you talking about?” I moved toward him and nearly tripped over myself, the Doctor caught me with his shoulder, preventing a nasty fall.

“What does an inter-dimensional, shape-shifting psychically imbued time-traveling alien want with a simple, yet powerful, unicorn? There is something I am missing, something out the corner of my eye…” he mumbled to himself, my head swam as he talked and I was unable to follow his rather sporadic train of thought.

“Can you start making sense any time soon? And make the room stop spinning,” groaning, I shook my head to get rid of my disorientation and my near-debilitating nausea.

Ignoring me, the Doctor brandished his sonic screwdriver. Placing it within his mouth, he pressed the button and swung the device around the library, scanning it, I presumed. After he was done, he spat out the screwdriver into his hoof and looked at the readings.

He frowned, which didn’t exactly help my nausea. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

Placing his screwdriver behind his ear, he looked at me and smiled. “Nothing, nothing. I know where she’s going, but it might get a little complicated. New universe, new rules, haven’t memorized anything here, if we’re lucky we won’t end up inside a black hole or a dwarf star.”

“Lucky?!” I chocked.

“Don’t worry, that has happened in a long time. Come along Twilight, we wouldn’t want to keep our alien waiting now would we?”

“Wait, wait, but you drove her away! She’s gone right?”

“Don’t be silly Twilight! It was only a mild cognitive disruption sound frequency, I got the proper frequency from when I scanned your horn. Thankfully, since she has perfectly assimilated to your kind, she copied that sort of frequency as well. Think of it as a sort of anti-magic charge, sorry about that by the way, you should be feeling tip-top in a few minutes though!”

“Okay, but- wait, Doctor, where are you going?!” I nearly tripped over myself following the Doctor as he ran toward the TARDIS.

“We need to hurry, the TARDIS has been acting rather temperamental ever since she dropped me into this universe. I’m not even sure how long she can maintain herself here.”

He stopped in front of the doors and frowned, looking at his hooves he stamped his hind legs in frustration. “How do you ponies cope without fingers?! Ah, whatever, I’ll manage!”

By the time I caught up with him, he was glaring at the TARDIS doors as if willing them to open with his mind alone. If I weren’t so ill at that moment, I would’ve laughed at his silly expression. But, to my surprise, the doors flung right open (inward, strangely enough despite the sign).

“Won’t it be a little cramped?” I remarked, noting the rather unaccommodating size, “We’ll be pushed up against each other.”

“Oh, there’s no need to worry about that Twilight Sparkle.” He looked over his shoulder and smiled that arrogant grin of his as he made his way inside. I followed and for the very first time in my life was left speechless.

“It’s… bigger on the inside.”

Oh, it certainly was.

Inward, completely betraying my expectations of the relatively small was an entire room. Perhaps room was an embarrassing understatement, more like control center. It was about the size of my library as a staircase ascended upward into the more centralized part of the “room”. A large tower, which glowed a sickly color of green, sat in the middle of everything while more staircases sprawled outward from it. The floor, underneath the entire platform, was yellowish and covered in holes which reminded me awfully of Swiss cheese.

On the console itself were a slew of strange contraptions and devices which, I imagined, operated this.. machine, ship, whatever it is. But these controls weren’t designed with a pony in mind of navigating it. Some of them required more delicate tactile manipulation, some that were unkind to the Doctor’s hooves as he fumbled with them.

What had Mare Do Well called him?... A Time Lord?

Somehow, I get the feeling that a Time Lord is anything but a pony.

Snapping out of my TARDIS-induced stupor, I focused on the Doctor, wary and suspicious of the mad pony as he ran around the consoling pressing buttons and pulling levers at random, it seemed.

“Doctor?” I asked, walking up to the console. “What is-“

“It’s basically like a dimensional rift within the TARDIS which is what makes it appear bigger on the inside. Imagine, if you will, two cakes, one larger than another and placed at a certain angle where the large cake appears at the same size and it’s basically like that. Well! It’s actually nothing like that, but if it helps you understand then go for it, well! Don’t because that would just make me hungry.”

I shook my head, unable to both understand his strange analogy and cope with my nausea. “No, I was going to ask-“

“Why the TARDIS is a blue police box? Every time with you lot. The TARDIS likes that form, and it certainly has nothing to do with the malfunctioning chameleon circuit I may or may not have forgotten to fix-“

“Doctor!”

He staggered back, tilting his head the other side as if I had damaged his ears.

“Um, yes Twilight?”

“I was going to ask what you are. She called you a Time Lord, what is that?”

He didn’t answer and pretended to be busy with his controls, fiddling with knobs and levers like a hyperactive foal.

“You’re an alien.” It was more of a statement rather than a question.

“Yes, from your point of view, I suppose I am an alien. I’m not from this universe and, for some reason, adopted a pony form. And Mare Do Well, it seems, followed me here, there is no way she would’ve gotten here by herself after all. But we are in luck! The reason she is hunting you is because of how strong you are, traveling to this new universe must have drained her considerably. Which is understandable, even the TARDIS is weakened by this new environment. But now she has determined that I am a threat to her and will protect you at all costs, so, logically speaking, she is now going to go for the next available target.”

“Who?”

“Let’s find out, shall we?” With that, the Doctor clamped his mouth over a lever and pulled it down. The entire ship began to shake violently, nearly knocking me off my hooves. The Doctor tried to hold on to the console, but his hooves slipped and he crashed into me as the world tilted sideways.

Sparks then began to fly from the console and from the Doctor’s reaction, I figured that wasn’t a good thing.

“No, no, no!” He jumped toward the console and tried to fix it but his hooves were too awkward for the small buttons. “If I can adjust for orbital velocity…. There! Hold on tight Twilight, this might get a little bumpy!”

I wanted to complain that this entire escapade was already “bumpy” but to keep from biting my tongue I just wrapped my legs around the railing and held on for dear life.

The Doctor laughed as the TARDIS shook more, and I figured, well, this is where I die huh?

“Geronimo!” He cried joyfully.

There was that lyrical wooshing sound of the air, it was as if the universe was catching its breath at the sight of the TARDIS in transit. Then a dull thud which reverberated off my very body and the shaking ceased.

The Doctor frowned as if he ate some bad apples and looked at me, “Geronimo? Did I really used to say that? Ah, rubbish, I’ll need to think a little more huh?”

“What are you talking about?” I complained, following the Doctor to the doors.

“Well! Time we should get going right? If my calculations are correct, we’ll have landed right where she is intending to jump to. But whatever is out there, I can’t expect they’ll be more than receptive of us. The landing was a little rough and, to be honest, I have no clue where, or when, we are. But that’s the fun in it, right?”

“Wait, wait, wait. You basically take me into a crazy ‘ship’ that’s bigger on the inside, time-travel right toward a rampaging, raging alien with no idea where, or when, we are? No, that’s not fun, that’s crazy!” I yelled as he stood at the doors. The Doctor turned and smiled at me, those bright eyes glittering with excitement.

“What’s the difference?” he said with that brilliant smile of his.

He opened the door and we stepped outside.

The Oncoming Storm (3)

A Study In Pinkie Pie

Twilight Sparkle knew this was a bad idea when Rarity flashed that particular smile of hers. Although they have only been friends for a few weeks, Twilight had quickly learned the types of expression the fashionista wore. Ever since she’s moved here and opened up the Carousel Boutique, she and Twilight became friendly over that time and Twilight has learned more about her. The smiles, in particular, were dangerous territory.

There was the, “Oh you flatter me” smile that Rarity wore whenever complimented. The “You’re so sweet and innocent” smile when she teased Twilight, the “Haha, you’re so funny but not really” smile that she wore when annoying stallions are trying to flirt with her. But the most dangerous smile is the “Can you do me a favor? Pretty please with a cherry on top?” smile.

Twilight has had nightmares about that smile. Whenever Rarity flashed that, the librarian knew she would be in for a horrible time. Yet, despite knowing about the dangers of that smile, Twilight never said no to Rarity. It was difficult, impossible even. Rarity just had this natural charm that ensnared Twilight, making her meek and mute; Rarity enjoyed that.

So, when Rarity dropped by the Golden Oak Library, Twilight nearly cringed when she saw her present company. Three young fillies stormed inside like a miniature hurricane, screaming and yelping with joy as they jump about the library running through every book and nearly destroying everything.

“YAY! CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS SLEEPOVER BEGIN!” they cried in unison in front of Twilight, nearly obliterating her hearing.

Rarity swaggered behind the Cutie Mark Crusaders with a small apologetic smile. “Apologies for being last-second about this request. It’s just I promised Sweetie Belle that her little friends can sleepover but I completely forgot I had a huge order to fulfill by tonight.”

Twilight shook her head, partly to stop the ringing in her eyes, partly to reassure Rarity. “Don’t worry about it, happy to help a friend.”

The fashionista smiled warmly at Twilight; ah, this was smile number six. “You’re such a darling, thank you so much.”

Twilight nodded but before she could respond Scootaloo ran right past her, spinning Twilight right around before crumbling in a dazed heap. Rarity apologized further as she helped Twilight back to her hooves. “Are you sure you can handle this? Spike and Pinkie aren’t around to help, I wouldn’t want to impose on you.”

“It’s no imposition at all,” promised Twilight. “I can handle it, after all, I’ve read ‘So, You’re Foal-Sitting And Don’t Know What to do’ the third edition. I think I’ve got it handled.”

Rarity didn’t appear very impressed at Twilight’s studying habits, grimacing slightly as she brushed off Twilight’s mane. “I see… well, I suppose I should leave everything in your capable hooves then.” She turned to leave but the sound of an expensive vase shattering stopped her. “Are you sure you can handle this?”

Twilight smiled reassuringly. “I’m sure. Now go on, you’ve got a lot of work to do.”

Reluctantly, Rarity returned her smile and left the library. As the door shut, Twilight’s face fell and worry began to form on her expression. “At least, I think I’m sure.”

It took a while to round up the Crusaders, Twilight was forced to run around the library and grabbed each one by the tail before capturing them in her magical grip and sitting them down center library. By the end of it, Twilight already had a headache pounding her temples. The Crusaders, as expected, were entirely restless.

“You’re a detective, right?” asked Scootaloo.

“Well, not exactly—“

“Which means, yah solve crimes an’ such, right?” added Applebloom.

“Yeah, actually—“

“Rarity talks about you all the time!” squeaked Sweetie Belle. “Is it true that you have a crush on Pinkie Pie?”

“W-well—“

“Where is Pinkie anyways?” chimed Scootaloo.

“Ah think she’s on a case,” answered Applebloom.

“Why aren’t you with her, Twilight?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Duh, it’s an easy case. Anything difficult, Pinkie would need Twilight, but if it’s easy she can handle it,” answered Scootaloo.

“Oh! Applejack told me that detectives can tell anythin’ about anypony with a single glance. What can yah tell ‘bout me?” asked Applebloom.

“No! Do me!” protested Scootaloo.

“Me!” cried Sweetie Belle.

The Crusaders were beginning to get violent and a brawl may erupt if Twilight didn’t intervene. Her horn filled with magic and a burst exploded, briefly eclipsing the lights and showering the library in a cacophony of colors and fireworks. The Crusaders were speechless as the beautiful display of light burst in front of them.

“Ooh…” they harmonized.

“Now that I have your attention, maybe some peace and quiet would be nice?” Twilight suggested. The Crusaders groaned in response.

“But, we’re the Cutie Mark Crusaders!” protested Scootaloo.

“On a quest to find our cutie marks and our destiny!” added Sweetie Belle.

“What kind of cutie mark can we get from bein’ all peace and quiet-type?” asked Applebloom.

“Well, maybe we can play a game?” Twilight suggested, trotting over to her cabinet and pulling out several board games. “Look! Trivia! Or… Clue? Oh, I sorta destroyed that…” She recalled the last time she played Clue with Pinkie where the revered detective suggested that the cause of the crime was self-inflicted despite the fact that it was against the rules.

“The rules are wrong then!” Pinkie had said.

Since then, they never played Clue and Twilight destroyed the game.

The Crusaders didn’t seem interested in the games anyways, they were in the house of the famous assistant to the Great Detective! They wanted to hear stories.

“Tell us a story about Pinkie!” Scootaloo suggested.

“Something dangerous and edgy!” Sweetie agreed.

“Like th’ Pony With Th’ Aluminum Crutch!” said Applebloom.

Twilight considered for a moment. That particular case wasn’t exactly appropriate for fillies, but a story wasn’t such a bad idea. The unicorn tilted her head and smiled slightly. “I’ve got a story.”

She walked over to the other side, surrounded by bookshelves and under a warm light. Laying out a few blankets and pillows, she beckoned the fillies to sit as she took center stage.

“I’ll tell you about the day I met Pinkie Pie, and our first case together.”

In the Name of the Doctor (4)

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A Study In Pinkie Pie

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The Ponyville Party Pony (2)

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The Science of Deduction (3)

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Angel Bunny, Destroyer of Worlds (4)

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Enter Ditzy Do (5)

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