Torah Ponies: A Tale of Exegesis, Magic, and The Moon

I wake in a weird ethereal plane, not as a Jewnicorn, but as myself, in the original body that G-d gave me. I am wearing a white cloak, similar to the burial shrouds Jews wear when being laid to rest.
“This is new. I never had this before when meditating or learning Torah.” I think to myself as I walk around and see someone familiar, but strange.

“Hey, Weinstein. Don’t worry, you’re not dead.” The man says.

“E… Eliyahu HaNavi?”

“Yup. It’s me. Elijah the Prophet of Jewish fame, herald of the Messiah, and drinker of Passover wine goblets. You almost died. Frankly, if you were entirely human, you would have died. You are one lucky Jew.” Elijah says with a grin.

“Wait...if I am not dead, why am I in Olam Haba?” I ask Elijah, who shrugs.

“You aren’t in Olam Haba. You aren’t dead. You are somewhere else. Where? I don’t know, but it is a very important place in this “Equestria” universe.” Elijah says, before noticing screens all around me depicting my life. From my boyhood in Monsey to my time as the Jewnicorn, to my fight with Daybreaker, to my teacher being killed by her!

“No… no…” I think to myself, watching over and over again as my teacher, my rock, dies over and over again. Four thousand years of Jewish history, coming to an end because of some power-hungry mare.

“I… I can bring her back. I… I can rewind time!” I think to myself before Elijah puts his hand on my shoulders and says. “You are a time guardian. You know better than anyone that death is an absolute point in time, and only can be undone at Techiyat Hametim.” Elijah says, embracing the young man in front of him.

Watching my teacher die over and over again filled me with rage, but also with purpose. Not only to avenge her but Efraim Narcyz, the other partisans, his family, my race, my nation.

And then, it finally clicked. The Ein Sof made sense to me now! All the learning with Nightmare and my ancestor’s books. It all makes sense!

“I… I get it now. It’s not just the HISTORY of Am Yisrael that gives me magic, it’s the FUTURE of it, too! I can’t just be a bookworm and remember history, I have to be an active part of it as well, ensuring its survival for the future!” I exclaim.

“There are 1001 gates to the Pardes or the Orchard of Truth. One can only enter through his gate, and not someone else’s. You just found your gate, Noah.”

Finding gates, a Pardes, what the hell is he talking about? I am just a normal Torah student! I don’t know any of these esoteric concepts?

“Shabbos 33, Noah. Your ten thousand years of frozen time was like the 10 years Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai spent in the cave hiding from the evil Roman Empire. It had the same effect on you. I don’t know much about how it manifests in this universe, but I remember reading somewhere that when a pony realizes his full potential, he becomes an “alicorn”. Don’t know what that is, to be honest.”

Wait...no freakin’ way! Did...did he say I met my purpose? If I get sent back, am I going to have wings? Don’t nerd out, Noah!

“Hold on, Eliyahu...does that mean if I somehow get back to Equestria, I am going to become an alicorn?” I ask, eager to hear the prophet’s advice.

“I honestly don’t know, but I would assume so. Your teacher did want you to succeed her, so her death also makes you Prince of the Night.”

Woah Woah Woah! Prince of the Night? Alicorn guardian of spacetime? Avenging Daybreaker? Too much all at once!

“I have one more word of advice for you before you go back to “Equestria”, Noah. “הִנֵּה מַה טוֹב וּמַה נָּעִים שֶׁבֶת אָחִים גַּם יַחַד” (Behold how good and how pleasing / for brothers (people) to sit together in unity.) (Psalms, 133)

“In this universe, friendship is key to everything. You need to work on that, too. Just because you are free of death by aging does not exempt you from finding a group of peers to interact with. Find someone to enjoy company with. Farewell.” Elijah says, vanishing in thin air.

I feel something weird like time is moving forward faster. I am flung forward through the cosmos and I am thrown back into my body.

***

Daybreak is looking at the carnage she has caused. She killed her sister, her pet Jew, but his sister has good reflexes! She escaped before the blast could engulf her, flying off to the distance.

“My...my big brother is gone!” Rivka says to Twilight, who is trying to get back up on her hooves once again.

“I...I am so sorry, Rivka.” Twilight says, hugging the violet pegasus on her right.

“Might as well burn the corpses, so I can spit on their tradition again. I know cremation is against the Jewish faith, so depriving the Jewnicorn of burial is a double death!
***
Just as she says this, I wake up. My legs are still broken, and I see my baby sister hugging Twilight.

“I have to do something! I MUST DO SOMETHING!”

I don’t know how, but my body begins levitating off the floor.

“Hm, what is going on, Jewnicorn?!?” Daybreaker says as she sees my body get enveloped in cyan magic. I feel my body heal, but I feel something else. My horn is getting longer, and I feel something protruding out of my back.

That can only mean one thing.

I ascended.

“Luna, you sick, sick mare. I miss you already.” I think to myself as a giant explosion of magic reveals my new, enhanced state.

“I am Jewnicorn, ALICORN OF TIME!” I say, somehow using a new, more regal dialect. Is that the Royal Canterlot tongue?

“Ooh, nice powerup. Still going to kill you.” Daybreaker says.
“No...you won’t. I have my friends to help!”

Showtime, for real!