Twilight is giddy with excitement. She had spent all day preparing herself. She wore her cultural saddle, her crown, embellished leg warmers, ribbons and ornaments.

Rarity had styled her from hoof to tail, topping it with a fluffy coiffure, perfect for the occasion. Twilight felt so primped, so pretty, maybe even beautiful.

“How do I look?” Twilight asks you for the tenth time.

“You look amazing.” You say for the tenth time. Trying to sound as convincing as you did the first time.

For the tenth time she soaks up your praise, enjoying every single syllable, as if it was a prophecy dictating she would live happily forever after. She tries to look regal, but ends up looking cute, as she lets out a giggle.

The parade will soon begin, and you do everything you can to support her. If a white lie was needed to boost her courage, then so be it. The truth was you preferred her without any clothes or jewelry at all.

If dressed up Twilight looked amazing, then Twilight au naturel was the epitome of astonishing. You sigh as your mind starts to drift. Reminiscing the purple pony naked in bed, for you to spoon. Wrapped up in your strong arms, pressing her warm purple body tight; feeling her breathing softly in her sleep, that was truly a mare to hug and behold.

“Are you listening?” she says in a serious tone. No longer giggling.

“Yeah... yes I am. Sure!” you quickly respond, trying to figure out what she’s talking about.

“You look amazing!” you eventually add as she nails you with a hard stare. Putting a bit more effort into your smile than you did a minute ago.

The seconds go by while she fixes you with a stern look. In return you show her your most disarming smile. Inside your head, your anxiety is growing. Not the pop quiz – not the pop quiz – please no questions to verify you heard her; is the thoughts you struggle to hide.

Her strict appearance breaks down in a smile, as she closes her eyes, and waves her tail around.

“Okay then,” she says, as she flicks her tail up over her saddle in a squirrel pose. “But perhaps I should wear the wing harness?”

“Just keep them clutched to your body and the wings won’t be in the way.”

“Easy for you to say. You don’t have any wings, and I wasn’t born with mine,” she snorts. “And I’ve changed my mind since yesterday’s rehearsal. You should hold the band with your teeth.”

“No!” you say, doing your best to sound calm and assertive.

“All the books agree the band should be attached to my necklace, halter or around my neck, and the chaperon will show their role by holding it in their mouth. So as a chaperon you must do it.”

“I can’t speak and bite down on something at the same time. I don’t have pony-mouth-dexterity.” you complain. “Yesterday we walked around in the castle for two hours, so I’m confident my hands will work, but biting it won’t.”

Twilight tries to mutter how irritating you can be with your obstinacy, but she’s too excited about the promenade to do it convincingly. She drops the argument and looks at the castle front door. It will take her to Ponyville, and the procession she’s about to embark upon.

With a quick flick of her tail, she puts it down in the proper position. She puffs herself up, challenging the front door with a stare. She lowers her head and scratches her right hoof on the floor, three times. You recognize her little pre-charge pep-talk.

“Ok, let’s do this!” she huffs.

You take a deep breath and walk up to the door. Twilight will not fly or use magic during the promenade, keeping it tribe neutral, so you open the door for her. Twilight moves out, on to the paseo leading up to her castle, brimming with delight. It’s time for her to show a reproduction ritual as old as the cultural saddle itself. It’s Twilight lecture time – big time.

–*–*–*–

The regal princess walks proudly in the afternoon sun. The weathermares have given her lovely weather and dry air. Princess Twilight is leading the way, and you follow behind, holding the band as a leash. Except it had hemstitch and embroidery making it an ornament, and was much too fragile to tug and lead.

The further along the walkway she got, the more it dawned on her. Ponies weren’t just curious about the saddle. They were massively interested in every aspect of this event. Where the path to the castle turned into Ponyville’s main street, she could see hundreds of ponies waiting for her.

She froze in her step. Standing perfectly still. Staring at the huge mob of ponies who had come to look at her. They were supposed to be spread out all over town, as they always were. Conducting their usual chores, while taking a brief pause to admire Twilight as she walked by.

Her carefully prepared crowd-map clearly showed that they would come out in greater numbers than usual, but at their regular spots, close to work. They weren’t supposed to form a large gang. Not now, not until they formed an audience in the glade.

“You should never stop moving your legs, you know.” your cheerful voice tries to nudge her on, but Twilight doesn’t acknowledge your words.

“You can move with tiny steps when listening to offerings, almost walk in place, but you must never stop.” You happily repeat the words she told you at least two dozen times during yesterday’s rehearsal.

“You lead!” Twilight hissed in between clenched teeth, still staring at the crowd.

“Nah, that’s not how we rehearsed it.”

“You!! Lead!!” Twilight scolded while turning her head to stare at you.

“But if I lead, then I will be the one to grant or deny access. But I don’t know these stallions, or your pony preference, so I can’t lead.” you smirk, enjoying her stage fright to the fullest. “Maybe we can tell everyone to wait, while I fetch AJ or Rarity?”

You saw it in her angry eyes. She was furious. She didn’t enjoy your babble. You saw her eyes turning into milky white beacons of light. Her mane and tail starting to flow in a similar manner to Celestia’s and Luna’s.

Oh-oh!! Her horn flooded you with massive energy as a crushing grip enveloped your body and forcefully moved you up in the air. Two seconds later you were abruptly positioned in front of her. The massive energy keeping you immobilized in a vise-like grip.

“You... lead!” she hissed once more.

Only once before had you seen her invoke all of her magic like that. At peak level she lacked full control, and it was both dangerous and scary. You didn’t want her to do it again.

“I lead!” you quickly tell her. “I’ll lead, I will lead... don’t worry sweetie, I got this.”

Her horn calms down, and the magic fades away, leaving you to stand on your own. You take a couple of deep breaths as you turn towards the crowd and start walking.

–*–*–*–

The citizens of Ponyville were surprisingly polite. They all wanted a close look, but you didn’t hear any whispering mumbles, crude comments or snide remarks as you passed by. It was as if they wished Ponyville to host a dignified procession to this unique happening. You considered Twilight a prissy princess, and perhaps they did too? Being mindful of their manners and polite for her sake.

None of the books described lewd audience behavior, but you had secretly been looking forward to sultry comments and innovative cat calls – or pony calls – or whatever lustful cheers they may do. But this audience was a lot better behaved than you would expect. Perhaps they would loosen up on the second lap? You hoped they would.

You glance at Twilight. A most unusual and interesting sight to behold. Her stoic appearance, head held high, trying to hide all of her emotions. She wasn’t constantly looking around, smiling and nodding, as she had been doing during rehearsal. You could sense her being nervous, struggling to shut out everything around her.

It was a shame really. Ponies had taken time to bring out various decorations. Adorned the houses, various landmarks and the local fountain, pimping it with garlands and flower arrangements. It was a pity if Twilight didn’t take time to appreciate it.

Streamers with celebratory messages showed their enthusiasm, but Twilight wasn’t reading it. Staring at your back instead of the crowd.

The ponies knew exactly what path you were going to take. With Twilight’s meticulous plans in collaboration with Mayor Mare, this wasn’t a surprise to you. But it was surprising that so many ponies knew all about it. The time Twilight had forced you to memorize the path, had been a waste of time, as ponies formed an alley for you to follow.

You walk slowly between lines of gawking ponies, as a stallion breaks from the crowd and steps into your path. He bows his head as he meets your gaze. “I’m willing!” he nervously announces, keeping his head low, peering up.

You weren’t supposed to lead, so you’re pretty clueless on how to judge and select. You have a vague memory of Twilight talking endlessly, about everything, during your rehearsal. Including a verbal essay on choices and criteria, but you hadn’t been listening.

Twilight was supposed to field the applicants and give the answers. She was a princess, a figure of authority, and capable of making her own decisions. You were supposed to follow behind, and make observations... of her behind. So that’s what you had been doing during rehearsal.

“We will meet at the Glade.” you say to the stallion. Confirming he passed the first selection and was in the finals. When they later arrived to the Glade of Passion he could be chosen to breed the princess.

No need for him to ask again, he disappears into the crowd. You keep walking, following the path Twilight mapped out. Going at a slow pace, so your five laps will take between one and two hours. It was bad to do more than five laps, or more than two hours, because that would seem desperate.

Still on the first lap, you see another stallion step up. A brutish woodcutter you knew as Jack Lumber, brimming with confidence. The strong type who could make an intellectual mare swoon by being such a great complement to her secluded library life. As a chaperon you must now take your assignment seriously.

“Sadly, not at this time!” you tell him loud and clear as the day. Hopefully to keep him away forever. You wouldn’t let your pretty princess get anyway near such treacherous temptations.

You walk down the street; you walk up the street, reaching one corner of the city, moving towards the next. More stallions appear, and explain how they’re willing. Often without expanding on the subject. You deny them all.

You vaguely remember seeing a few of them, but you don’t know any of them. The standard apologetic phrase came natural now, and with more politeness than the woodcutter got. You had now visited the edges of the planned path and were soon back to where you started.

With the first lap almost finished, you finally recognize some old friends. The Sugarcube Corner was the only shop you visited voluntarily and Mr. and Mrs. Cake frequently let you sample various goods, curious to learn what humans liked.

Mrs. Cake looked happy as Mr. Cake took a few steps up, standing in your path with a big smile.

“I, Carrot Cake, am willing and would be honored, to serve as breeder.” He bows deeply.

“We will meet at the Glade.” you say with a cheerful voice. Happy to give him a chance.

He looks shocked as you slowly walk by. Mrs. Cup Cake’s face mirrors his surprise. He scuttles back to stand with his wife. They give each other a nervous smile as they recollect themselves.

Twilight stares at your back. Or maybe your ass. It’s hard to tell. Her entire visage appears frozen. You have no idea if she’s trying to look regal or if she’s busy fighting her nerves. Well, it’s not your problem. Your problem comes later, when she gives you ‘constructive criticism’.

Your second lap had just started, and the stuck up rich guy appears in your way. He makes a courteous bow and says, “I’m willing to sire the princess.”

You’re tempted to laugh at him. Maybe even point and laugh while picking up the pace. Any pony ignored, or left without a proper answer, perhaps missed because several asked at the same time, could ask again on the next lap. It would be fun to see if Filthy Rich felt too humiliated to dare ask again.

Then you remembered Twilight disliked Filthy Rich. Not as much as you did, but considering she loved everypony, it could be fun to make his day and her nightmare.

“We will meet at the Glade.” you tell Filthy while glancing at Twilight.

You think you can spot her jaws clenching, but it’s hard to tell. Oh, boy would she be pissed if you let Filthy mount her. That would be fun as heck.

Yet another stallion appears, but you have no idea who it is. “I’m willing to do my duty!” he says, sounding patronizing.

Then go home and do your duty; you refrain from telling him. This event is important to Twilight, so with as much honor and gratefulness your voice can muster you reply, “Sadly, not at this time.”

During the second lap you try and get Twilight to notice the banners and streamers. You want to make sure Twilight sees the one outside the Gentlecolts Club: You do your thing – And we do your ‘Thing’.

“Cool streamer!?” you whisper aimlessly above Twilight’s head. You’re not supposed to talk to each other during the event, but some streamers will make an interesting topic in later conversations.

Some oddball pegasus steps up. He’s a previous visitor to the castle, and you know he doesn’t live in Ponyville. Yet it’s easy for a Wonderbolt to get here, so you’re not surprised to see several pegasi in the crowd you’ve never seen before.

“I’m willing to serve the princess.” he says while bowing deeply.

You remember him as a friend to Rainbow Dash and can’t help wonder if he’s just as egocentric. Then again, having a couple of famous ponies in the line-up can’t hurt. “We will meet at the Glade.” you tell him.

Halfway along the second lap, you notice a mare and her son, moving strategically to interfere with your promenade. Or rather she’s moving strategically, dragging the colt along. You recognize her coat and her cutie mark. You’ve met her a few times and considering how lewd she is, it’s a mystery she only has one child.

She practically pushes her son to take the needed steps to be in your way.

“I- I’m w-willing!” he stutters.

You struggle with your facial muscles, giving it your best poker face. With Twilight on a mating table, he would need a stool to stand on.

You look at the princess. Seeking her eyes now more than ever before. Curious if she will break the rules and speak up. Her steely eyes indicates she won’t talk, and you give up trying to get a response.

“Sadly, not at this time.” you tell the colt, who happily runs back to his mom. She gives him a hug and a kiss for his effort. You can hear her voice explain that he took an important step today, towards becoming a stallion.

Over an hour goes by as you keep walking, admiring the scenery they prepared. You also admire the tenacity of the local stallions. You’re sure you’ve denied at least four scores by now. You were supposed to take notes and statistics for your research, but with the sudden change in role, you forgot all about it. Soon the final lap will begin.

Another face you recognize appears along the bystanders. He looks scared; or confused. It’s hard to tell. He looks like he doesn’t know how to proceed. He’s known as the silent type, but you’ve spoken to him a lot. He just never speaks when mares around, because he doesn’t want to interrupt.

Big Mac barely steps forth and not close enough for a proper announcement. With Big Mac as an old friend to Twilight, it’s perfect complement to Mr. Cake, as an old friend of yours. You marvel over your own fairness, handling invitations to Twilight’s inner sanctum with such wisdom.

“Ah am...” he starts.

“We will meet at the Glade.” you cut him short. No point in trying to get him to speak a full sentence in public.

You keep ambulate along your designated path, embarking on your last lap. Most of your spectators have retreated to the Glade, looking for a good place to sit, and you walk your princess the last stretch without interruptions. As the final lap ends, you beeline towards the Glade. The saddle ceremony soon to be settled.

The entrance to the glade appears in front of you. The promenade was entertaining, but now the real fun begins. You smile in anticipation of the upcoming spectacle.

The ribbon between you and Twilight is stretching taught as the distance between you increase. You notice Twilight is slowing down, struggling with each step. Her firm unfaltering face isn’t betraying her emotions, but her smaller steps are. You pretend not to notice.

The Glade of Passion looks packed. From the outside you can only see the slopes, the ground level being hidden by hedges, but the slopes with its makeshift terraces are filled. Not that suprising, considering the local celebrity was doing the walk.

A narrow pergola serving as a gateway through the thick wall of foliage, marks the entrance to the Glade of Passion. Hiding the lewd acts on the other side, from prying eyes on the outside. You smile at Twilight as you coax her to continute. Looking forward to what’s about to happen.

. . .

Author's Note

2021-12-30: Minor syntax/spellcheck. (Vice-like??? Quite a difference from vise-like.)
Need to fix the slow pacing by cutting down the 2nd half by half. Any suggestions?