Log
Day-

[...]

Dear Diary-

[“No, I haven’t gone that soft.”]

[...]

Journal Entry
XX/XX/XX

I couldn’t do it.

Well, I could have: Aya found me but didn’t force me to come back.

I could have left, but I didn’t.

I still have no idea how I’m going to deal with all this but Aya was right: I can’t leave behind my

[...]

my

[A heavy sigh sounds before writing continues]

I can’t leave my friends behind.

Who’d have ever thought? Sunset Shimmer actually has friends. If Celestia could see me now…

I guess I’ve had them for quite a while, and just didn’t want to accept it. I didn’t want friends. Honestly part of me still wishes I didn’t. But [...] I can’t deny the comfort just thinking that I won’t have to figure all this crap out alone brings me. Like a warmth I haven’t felt since before things soured between the princess and I.

[...]

I don’t know how to be a friend. I’ve never really had any. I was close to Celestia but that was [...] different. More. Well, at least that's how I remember it. It’s not like I would really know though, is it?

Still, I am Sunset Shimmer. All my failings aside, I’ve nev-[...] almost never backed away from a challenge. If I’m going to have friends then I’m damn well going to figure out how to

[...]

friend good.

[“No, that’s fucking stupid.”]

-do it right. Like they say; admitting you have a problem is the first step to success.

[...]

I should probably stop thinking of it as a problem first, shouldn’t I?

Well, I’ll have plenty of time to think about it. I’ve been suspended for two weeks for stealing from the lab. On top of that I have twice as many appointments with Cadence as usual now too. I’m pretty sure Rainbow and Shy are checking in with reports regularly as well. Not that I blame Rupert. Honestly, I’m surprised he didn’t just fire me and stick me somewhere and pump me full of suppressants.

[...]

Actually, I’m not that surprised. Rupert’s a good man. He’s been burned before but still hasn’t given up on the world. He still hasn’t given up on me. The fact Aya has yet to may be influencing that some, but I’m not going to complain.

I owe Aya a lot. I owe everyone at MIST a lot. I’m not going to forget that debt. I may never be able to tell them the truth, but I’m not going to let them down. I refuse to.

I am going to continue my research. The knowledge and technology of Earth can still do a lot of good for Equestria. While I am beginning to reevaluate my motives and planned methods of introducing those discoveries, I’ll be damned if I’m not going to get the credit for at least bringing them back. I may have a lot to learn before I’m ready to be a princess but I’ll still deserve recognition for that damnit!

[A light huff sounds, followed by the sound of someone cracking their neck]

For now though, while I’d like to write more while it’s all fresh, I do have a prior engagement. Dash and Shy are taking me to a movie to try to get my mind off things and it’s time to get ready.

Will write more later.

She set the pen into its base, making sure the flow was firmly off. She didn’t want it leaking all over again. The desk was still stained.

She paused in closing the journal, frowning at the twisted bottom half of the previous page. Looking like someone tore off the page’s bottom half, crumpled it up and then chewed on the ball for a while before slapping it back into the book, it was not a pretty sight. Magic was an emotional force, and reacted strongly to emotions in kind. So the page being as messed up as it was told of just how out of sorts she had been the previous night.

‘Still…’ that kind of response took time if it was caused by emotions. It wouldn’t happen all at once. The only thing she could think of that could affect it so quickly, without just destroying the parchment outright, was arcane overcharge.

‘But there’s no mana burn… ’ she frowned. Maybe she was overthinking it. The journal was damaged after all. While stabilized, she still wouldn’t call the remaining enchantments entirely sturdy anymore either.

“Sunset! Ya gettin’ ready? Flutters likes to see the previews!” Rainbow called down the hall. She jumped up from her seat and gathered her things, quickly moving to the door. She paused as she was stepping out however. The afternoon light reflected off the still open journal, catching her eye. Frowning, she turned back slowly. She leaned in, tilting her head at the chaos of crinkles and folds embedded into the page. She narrowed her eyes.

“Sunset?” she straightened to the sight of Fluttershy, peering down the hall concerned “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, sorry!” the redhead laughed off, pretending to snatch something beyond the frame. “Just took a second for me to find my sunglasses.”

She left the room, closing the door behind her. Fluttershy smiled warmly and turned back to the living room, not seeing the girl glance back hesitantly.

‘Nahhhh’ she shook away the silly thought and joined her housema- joined her friends.

By the time they arrived at the theater, she had already forgotten about the page still sitting back in her room. And why wouldn’t she? It was nothing more than a trick of the light, casting dancing shadows along a marred page and nothing more.

Anything else wasn’t possible.

Not anymore.

…Right?

Author's Note

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