Worlds Apart

by Incandesca

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Princess Celestia, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Sad
Length: 11370

After Luna's banishment, Celestia faces her new reality without her sister and the role she had to play in shaping it.

When you spend your entire life with one person, it can become difficult and even frightening to imagine what things might be like without them. For the ponies of Equestria however, they have the benefit of mortal existence to ease such worries.

This is not the case for a young Princess Celestia. She has lived nearly every waking moment with her sister Luna until tonight. Now, she must face the reality of going on without her by her side, and come to terms with the part she had to play in her sibling's fall from grace.

Published 2022-10-10 19:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2022-10-10 19:40:01 UTC

That Fateful Night

It was morning that day, yet it was also night. My sun hung high above as it always did, but its life-giving warmth did not shine down upon the world as it should have. Instead, the Moon had usurped its rightful place in the sky, blotting out its rays in exchange for a cruel shadow.

I wondered what my ponies thought in that moment — when they looked to the horizon and saw the celestial bodies converge, casting them into darkness. Could they grasp the significance? Did they hold their loved ones tight and whisper reassurances into their ears that they themselves did not believe?

I could only begin to imagine the answers to these questions as a blue streak of light shot past me. It narrowly missed my head but singed the white fur of my cheek black. The burn was not hot like fire, but cold like ice, and any thoughts of vanity over my coat was stripped bare by searing pain.

I reeled, pausing only momentarily to wince and readjust my stance in the sky. My attacker saw the window she'd been looking for and took it, sending out a second round of rapid fire bursts denser than the previous. I dodged and weaved deftly between each missile, but I was on the backhoof every step of the way. For all the combat experience I'd gathered in years past, she had just as much.

Just when I thought to be in the clear, a crackling bolt aimed straight for my heart, forcing me leftwards. Heartbeats away from oblivion, the shock of being attacked by my own sister — or whatever had assumed her place — was beginning to lessen, and it finally dawned on me that I was in a fight for my life.

I felt the horror of betrayal over the peril of mortality. There is something chilling which cannot be truly described when you look into the eyes of someone you've loved and trusted only to see an alien thing which wishes you ill. It curdles the blood, and leaves your chest a gaping hole into which your worst doubts may manifest. You wonder if you ever knew them at all, then, you are expected to fight for your very existence.

Surely though, this creature before me could not be my Luna. She did not look like her nor sound like her. We may have had our tiffs in the past and more frequent and serious as of late, but we'd never traded anything beyond remarks soon regretted. Even the ugliness of our last argument failed to explain a reaction like this.

Desperately — perhaps naively — I made a last effort to reach her. I called out, but she did not respond just as with my previous attempts. Her face didn't twitch in the slightest to show she'd registered any of it. Her will was like a fortress, and my words were nothing but bricks thrown at its base.

I saw her charging up another assault and inhaled deeply, knowing what I must do. The time for pacifism was over. Sister or not she had proven herself a danger to the order of things, and that I could not abide. If she would not surrender willingly, the choice would be made for her.

Mirroring her actions, sunlight yellow gathered at my horn's tip as glacial blue swelled at hers. In that brief second I steadied myself, grappling with the fact I was about to harm my own sister.

The breath I'd unconsciously held went, and my attack did with it. A great stream of energy shot to her side, causing the air around it to thrum with power and her to sweep sideways. Where my lance ended hers began, and we found our positions suddenly reversed. The battle was even now, but it was far from over. It went on like that for the next few minutes, our bodies rolling and wings flaring against the wind as we brought an opposing dance of lights into the starlit sky. I remained collected where she was relentless, I in control but her free of inhibition. The whole twisted tango of Sun and Moon reminded me in some perverted way of how we'd dance with one another at balls in our kinder years.

The memory was enough to throw me off balance at just the right time for her to seize advantage. She charged in close, I using flight to propel myself backwards. Our magics clashed like blades again and again, and a second of hesitation from me gave her the opportunity to kick against my chest.

In an instant, I was falling with the breath knocked from my lungs. My eyes flicked to the ground below, mind panicking as it rushed up to meet me. Seconds from collision, my wings spread out wide and carried me swiftly upwards. Following right after was the sound of an explosion's impact, showering earth down over me in clumps and blinding dust. Through it, I turned my head and peered, just barely determining the form of my attacker — now pursuer — trailing close behind.

I flew without a second thought, heedless to where I was headed. The mistake made itself evident when I opened my eyes fully and found myself nearing the city gates, but it was too late to turn back. I was going too fast, and the pressure of unrelenting shots forced me onwards.

My questions from earlier were solved as I gazed out upon the streets. Lights had turned on in the impromptu evening, exposing the uneasy expressions of those both inside and outdoors. They seemed relieved when their attentions turned to me, and then they saw what chased me.

They called after me as I streaked overhead, terrified and seeking comforts I could not give. For as much as I wanted to, I could not spare the time to stop and explain what was happening. How could I? I myself could scarcely comprehend it when not an hour ago all was well. All I could do was press on and pray for the nightmare to end with my life intact.

Reluctantly pulling my focus away from the frightened streets below, I saw the dark outline of an arch fast approaching. Hooves before me, I dipped, swerving to the right as a blast of magic burst against the left support. Fragments of pulverized stone shattered outwards, crumbling in dust and debris to the cobble pavement. Speeding past, I dared not to look back and merely hoped none were caught in the rubble.

The next arch I went over instead thinking I might better avoid danger, but that theory was quickly disproven by a sudden volley of fire. I dove. Yet again my sister proved unrelenting in her prsuit, aiming her attack at the last arch's bridge in what I presumed was an attempt to crush me. Although I pushed ahead of the collapse, I was slowing down enough for a rogue chunk of stone to fall and clip my wing, sending me veering towards an upcoming statue.

Hot tendrils of pain spiked through the injury, distracting me from the flight and throwing off my balance. My strained flaps grew more frantic the closer I came to the statue, its details becoming apparent as impact seemed increasingly imminent. It was of a mare I recognized from decades ago, the chief architect who'd planned the city's initial layout.

I felt my stomach drop when a lance of light came into view, aiming not for me but the monument. It cleaved through its neck, slicing through the marble as easily as a knife through butter, leaving the cut a mirror-like polish. Head bearing down upon me, it became clear how hellbent on my destruction she was, casually disregarding the city and those within if it meant getting to me.

Fine then. If she wanted a fight so badly, I'd take her far above the city where she could cause no further destruction. In one swift motion I weaved around the toppling head, looked to the sky, and shot towards the heavens.

Wind howled past me as I rose, deafening my ears and pushing my body to its limits. For a moment I sensed my sister giving chase, but not long into my ascent the feeling was gone. I stopped and turned, looking down to the city miles below and saw the reason why.

I only had a second to prepare before she lashed out with her strongest attack yet. My jaw clenched as our beams struck, then exploded outwards in a blinding flash. The shockwave left me temporarily stunned, and it took every ounce of my strength to hold firm. It would have been easy to let go, but the thoughts of what was at stake kept me steadfast. Defeat wasn't an option.

I still couldn't believe the course that had taken me here, scraping by the skin of my teeth for survival against my own sister. She was the only pony in my life who made me feel whole, the one who'd been with me since the beginning. The memories we'd shared and trials we'd endured had softened us in ways and hardened us in others. It was to that extent I understood her jealousy, even her anger over the denial of recognition she deserved, but I couldn't understand this.

Wetness beaded at the edge of my vision as I struggled to keep my magic from wavering. I knew that if my concentration broke my willpower would follow. Worse was my energy, sapped from battle and too many close calls. Too soon, I realized I wouldn't hold her back for much longer.

I took in a final breath as she pushed closer, my eyes closed and expression solemn. i accepted my demise. If nothing else, I prayed to the Stars Luna would return to herself when I was gone.

As her magic edged nearer, memories of our childhood came to my mind's eye — the sound of her laughter as we chased one another in the garden, the smile of pride on her face when we'd ascended and been crowned the rulers of Equestria, the smell of her freshly washed hair in the mornings and the way she'd take the time out of her day to craft a beautiful night sky for those who would appreciate its majesty.

A smile touched my cheeks, and I let the light overtake me.

I awoke to agony blooming across my body, from the back of my aching skull to the joints in my legs. My ribcage felt smashed in, and a succession of hacking coughs brought up red. Despite a terrible soreness the likes of which I had never experienced before, I was still — to my utter shock — alive.

Turning my gaze north, I saw what had happened. Through the dome ceiling was a fresh opening from which the dim magenta of the eclipse could pour through. For a moment I wasn't sure where I was until I noticed the stained glass windows. With how far up and away I'd been thrown, it was a miracle I'd survived even as an alicorn.

My attention turned as a fuschia jewel clattered to the tile floor. I recognized it immediately. There was something about the idea of using it against my own sister that repulsed me. It felt wrong, but nothing about this day had gone right. What was one more grievous deed? With the state I was in, did I even have a choice?

I was never given the chance to consider otherwise. The window shattered and in charged the warped visage of my sister. Fate had made its decision for me, and I could do nothing but comply. Time seemed to stretch on forever then, although I knew it to be no more than a breath. My horn lit, and I activated the very things we'd used to banish evil from this world twice over, now turned against her.

The power of the Elements flared bright, then spilled forth in a wave of brilliant spectra. Its shimmering beauty turned my gut, and I felt sick as immediate regret came crashing down over me.

It was too late now. The act was committed, and I could do nothing more but watch on, a horrified captive, as the only true companion I had disappeared before my eyes. Her form quavered as the Elements' barrier pushed her back, as if distorted by water, until she had gone fading into the night's tapestry like she'd never been there at all.

In the wake there was silence, a haunting stillness which threatened to suffocate me from the inside. So many emotions filled my head that they blurred together until I felt none distinctly, only their collective. I reached out to where she had been not but moments ago as if I might still feel her there.

When my hoof met air, I broke. My chest hitched and my vision welled with tears that stung my eyes. No amount of pain I'd endured that day nor any prior could compare to this kind of anguish. It was cruel and merciless, unforgiving as it wrapped tight around me like a vice and squeezed so hard I thought my heart might collapse.

Each time it came, it pried a strangled sob from my throat, and reminded me what I had done and that there was no taking it back. My sister was gone, and it was by my doing. I never told her how much she meant to me, and in our last moments together she hated me.

Finally, past the point I could take it all back, I understood why this had happened. She had put just as much if not more love and effort than I into her celestial rule and received nothing for it. The nights she so painstakingly crafted went mostly unseen, those who recognized it for its worth few and far between.

But me? I was adored and praised. I was the mare who controlled that which gave life. I was warm, kind, and gentle like the rays of the very Sun I guided. Ponies would bask in my presence, not shy away from it. It was I who received all the admiration she wished to have a fraction of.

And it was I who had failed to recognize that. It was I who hadn't made the effort to understand her and what she was going through. I was her sister, and I hadn't given her the support she had needed most. The blame was my own, yet it was upon her shoulders which the punishment fell.

I had taken her for granted, just as everyone else. To them she was a pillar of their world, unmoving and unchanging, and to me she was my little sister, forever and always by my side. The thought I might lose her had never even once crossed my mind, and it was that thinking that had led me here.

From deep within, something bubbled to the surface. Everything around me went black as a fresh cascade of tears sprang forth until eventually the world was reduced to just me and the weight of my sins. My eyes remained fixed on where Luna had come, though I could no longer see it, and my throat clenched.

I screamed, and I screamed until there was nothing left I could give. An eternity passed before I could stop, and when I did I felt empty, lying on the floor in a crumpled heap. All the emotions which had built inside had fled, and in the void they left behind nothing rose to fill it.

Feebly, I stood on shaky legs. With the Sun and Moon as they were earlier, I could not know how long I'd been crying, but I could guess by the dryness of my cheeks. The Princess in me told me I should return to the castle and address my no doubt terrified subjects, but I remained still for a while longer.

When I made to leave, it was with a hollow heart and labored movements, urged onwards solely by the obligation I had to my ponies. I flew up through the hole in the ceiling and took off in the direction of the palace, making my way in silence. With the battle over, the evening had grown calm, a small comfort which did little to ease my loss.

Even taking my time, it was far too short before I arrived at the castle gates. Unsurprisingly, the courtyard teemed with cityfolk, all agitated and mumbling to one another. Their din quieted on my approach, succeeded by gasps at what I could only presume was my disheveled appearance, then rose into a tide of questions before my hooves had touched ground. I hadn't the willpower to answer any of them.

My address was simple and brief — I assuaged their fears and assured them I was alright, and that I would properly explain everything on the 'morrow. This, thankfully, appeared to satisfy most, and the ones who asked after Luna I ignored.

From there the crowds slowly dispersed, adn I teleported directly to the castle halls. Mercifully, they were empty; the last thing I needed was aides inquiring about where my sister had gone.

The walk to my chambers was far from soothing however, each turn or passage another shackle around my heart. I knew these halls, I recognized its sights, but they all felt vacant and cold. Gone was the warmth and welcoming of familiar dwellings, in its place a reminder of what I had lost that fateful night. With the absence of Luna by my side or the knowledge she waited somewhere within, my echoing hoofsteps rang only with a profound emptiness.

When I came to the last stretch of my journey, any vigor I'd maintained had dissipated. The chains on my soul weighed heavy, and I found myself struggling more to reach my destination than I had fighting Luna.

I rounded the corner to my room and froze. There, opposite my chamber doors, were those of my sister's, still narrowly open as if expecting her return. I turned my gaze away a moment after. I could not bare to see them now, and it took an inner strength I hadn't known I possessed to reach my room.

Door shut and consciousness fading, I made for the balcony to lower the Sun, regardless of the actual time. As it sank into the landscape below, unveiled was the Moon, its pale shine freed. There, on its shining surface, was something new. I looked into the pattern now adorning, and I instantly understood its meaning. My sister was there now, trapped and banished by the will of her own flesh and blood. For a while I stared back at her, and I felt her judgement given back. I wondered then if I could ever look upon the dusk horizon and see anything but my folly, rather than the transcendental majesty it once held.

I slid into the sheets without further distraction and closed my eyes, wanting nothing more than to be rid of the waking world, however fleeting that solace. I dared not think of the day before me, let alone the many to come after.

Sleep found me quickly, and I graciously let it pull me under.

The Day After

I awoke to a field of flowers. It was not a place I recognized, but when I looked to the northeast I saw the royal castle and city surrounding. The light of the setting Sun shone brightly upon it, casting all the rooftops and landscape around in golden splendor, and across the sky not a cloud disturbed the shifting pinks and blues of encroaching night.

I closed my eyes and exhaled softly, basking in a sense of sublime tranquility. This was a peaceful place, and even with my vision gone I could sense everything around me in exquisite detail. The air was cool, but pleasantly so. It reminded me of autumn's dawn, when the wind was crisp but yet to turn biting from winter's chill and the leaves like flame, vivid before they turned brown and fell to be reborn in the spring.

Compared to the hustle and bustle I'd become so accustomed to as Princess, things were so much quieter here. It wasn't often I got the opportunity to step out from my responsibilities to enjoy the simple pleasures nature offered freely. It wasn't rare either, but it was uncommon enough for me to find joy in taking this for its worth.

Here, there were no palace aides insistently waiting head over hoof for me, no local lords or mayors with disputes they demanded settling. There was only the gentle breeze, the sound of my breathing, and the birds chirping amongst their rustling branches.

Above this, however, was a sense I could not shake. With each inhale, I took in the floral scent pervading the air around me, which to some might have been considered cloying. The smell piqued my interest, as I had never determined the type of flowers I'd woken among.

Curiously, I opened my eyes again to note their appearance. Perhaps, I thought, I could commission for these to perfume the castle halls upon my return.

Surrounding me on all sides was an army of perfectly snow white cups, splayed out towards the rim with several fronds poking from the center.
I smiled. They were moon lilies. They weren't just any moon lilies either, but the most pure kind I'd ever seen, so flawless they seemed to glisten with the glow of the actual Moon itself.

I went to inspect more closely, but as I drew near they almost seemed to shrink away. I dismissed this as a trick of the eye. Perhaps with the strangely illustrious quality of their shimmer and the force of the breeze combined it made them appear leaned in a certain direction, but when I moved for them again it happened once more.

I felt something then, stirring in the pit of my chest. It tugged at me uncomfortably, nagging that something was off. I realized all of a sudden that I was afraid, but of what? There couldn't possibly be a thing to be frightened of in a place like this.

Without warning, I turned to face the east horizon, but it was not of my volition. I no longer felt truly in control of my own body, and the rising fear at the pit of my stomach boiled over into dread.

There, staring back at me, was not an oncoming evening but a shadowy blackness. It spread across the sky like far too much ink bleeding across paper until all visible light had been snuffed out. Yet it did not stop there. To my horror, it continued on until it touched the very land itself. In its all consuming abyss, it swallowed everything it touched — towers, homes, farms, mountains, and streams.

I felt myself start backing away from the field's edge before I could think to. Any illusion of control I'd had was shattered, replaced with the strings of a marionette which played upon my every action down to the breath.

Below my hooves I felt the lilies and cast a glance down to meet them. I couldn't help but to continue my retreat, and with each step backwards I left blackened, withered flowers in my wake as if my presence alone had become a pestilence. In terror, I whirled around to see if the west remained untouched. To my relief it was. I didn't know what was transpiring, but there might still be a chance for me.

When I turned back around, the darkness sat inches from my face.

I came to with a start, bolting upright and with my heart pounding against my chest. Shadows encompassed me, and my frightened mind momentarily seized at the idea that horrid dark had followed, but my eyes adjusted soon after. I was still in my room, wrapped up in sheets that clung to my now sweat-slicked fur.

It was to my relief, but only minorly. The nightmare was over, but the rest of the day and its numerous challenges lay before me like a series of traps, and I had nopony but myself to navigate them. Today was the day after my sister's banishment, and I was alone.

Delaying my duties as long as possible, I gradually rolled out of bed with a grunt. The sheets were soaked through, and with the filth and blood I'd accumulated from the night prior I'd need to have them washed. That could be sought to later though — for the present, my first duty of raising the Sun called more urgently.

The task was simple enough. I had performed it countless times over the years — none beyond myself were alive or had been in decades since the unicorn tribe had to move the celestials themselves — and soon the beginning rays of dawn's light pierced through the milky blue sky.

What was not so easy was lowering the Moon. The actual manipulation itself came to me almost as naturally as with the Sun, but I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming wrongness at doing so. This was my sister's, not mine, and to touch it with my magic, let alone move it felt like an act of supreme violation, as if I'd rummaged through her most personal belongings and stolen something for myself.

Watching it disappear from view, I remembered when I'd done just that as a foal. There'd been one marble among all the others we'd played with that Luna had cherished the most, and I'd grown jealous when she refused to let me touch it. Ironically, it looked strikingly similar to the Moon as it was now.

So, being young and yet to learn proper respect for others, I'd awoken once in the dead of night to take it. I'd felt giddy holding it in my hoof for the first time, but when morning came it was only guilt that remained to weigh on my consciousness. I'd returned it to her and apologized profusely, and promised never to commit such an act again.

As the final glimpse of my sister's Moon dipped out of sight, I realized I'd broken that promise. But unlike that incident so long ago, I had nopony to apologize or return it to. The Moon was my responsibility now as much as I didn't want it to be, but it would never be mine in the way it had been hers.

That taken care of, I shut my eyes and let out a shuddering breath. This day was already proving more difficult than I'd predicted.

But, contrary to what I might have wished, the oath I swore held more importance than myself. I turned to leave, and once entering the hall was once again faced with the sight of my sister's parted bedroom doors. My gaze lingered for a heartbeat, and as I passed from there to the bath house I made a mental note to request relocation of my chambers as soon as possible.

My morning routine went on as it always had, save the presence of one. I showered without feeling or thought, until abruptly I hadn't. Like thunder from the blue I was struck with grief, but my sorrow was just as quickly washed awaying by the rains pouring above me. All it had taken was a moment of remembering her face and I'd cracked, crying out at the knowledge she'd been here with me not even a day past.

It was then to my further chagrin what I saw in the mirror. The grime had been washed from my body, and although bruises and the puffy redness of my eyes stood out starkly against my white fur none of that earned my scorn. Those could be fixed with makeup. What could not was my mane.

Both it and my tail were different now. Where once had been a pastel pink transitioning to sparkling yellow, pink now made up but a single streak in the dazzling array. Observing with bitter irony, I noted how together it with blue, green, and lavender represented all the colors a daytime horizon could display, except the brightest of all. There was an odd flow to it too, waving about in the air as if caught in a breeze where none was present, no longer in strands as before.

I had to wonder what had done this, and the only possibility I could grasp was a byproduct of the Elements. Even now, I mused, they mocked me, and I suddenly understood the perplexed look on the faces of the gathered crowds from last night.

Afterwards was breakfast, which I'd reluctantly ordered prepared for me. The chef had taken painstaking care in procuring a delicious looking meal of honeysuckle eggs benedict, but when the fork came to my mouth there was no taste. My stomach growled regardless, and so I ate it with the same liveliness as a machine. All the while, I did my best to ignore the vacant seat across from me, and pressed on further with my day.

Before long I had finished, which meant addressing the matters of yesterday to other ponies. The last thing I could let happen was let the court officials and dignitaries see me buckle, and thus I was made to don a mask of impenetrable stone. However heavy it weighed upon me I could not allow it to sleep, and no amount of hurt could I permit lest it crack. I suppose it just as well that I wore one; I had a role to perform after all.

Walking down the corridor to the courtroom, I could already hear it brimming with activity beyond the thick oaken doors. Upon my arrival it rose to an even higher pitch, and I first made the mistake of trying to answer their questions all at once. Overwhelmed, I was forced to use my royal Canterlot voice to silence them — only then I could address their concerns.

Cooly, I informed them of what had transpired the other night — that which I knew, anyhow — excepting the reason for Luna's betrayal. On that topic I lied through my teeth, manner composed as ever, and I planned to do so again later to the public. In their minds the only cause for the battle and the lack of their other princess was due only to a possession by some evil spirit. They had no reason to know the truth of the matter, so personal as it was to me, and so I did not offer it to them.

The news was received better than I'd expected, and for some in the court went over too well. To my disgust, several appeared pleased at this change, and I knew precisely the reasons why. Some simply did not give Luna the respect she deserved and had always seen her as the lesser of us while others found her off putting, but the ultimate reason for their apparent satisfaction was her honesty. She was not an easy mare to work with and she made her opinions known without watering them down as I did.

I did not show my disdain no matter how much the mask threatened to splinter. Instead I took note of their names and faces, and how little it was to my surprise that most of them were from the upper crust of society with their decadent balls and false personalities. I would not dismiss them outright, but if there was found even the slightest infraction in their roles they'd quickly discover themselves removed from office. The process of rearranging the systems of governance without Luna would be long and bureaucratic, and I could not tolerate the thought of their presence making it worse than it already would be.

With day court adjourned and a foul taste in my mouth, the thing I'd most dreaded had finally caught up to me. It was no small part of me which mulled the possibility of delegating a public speech to somepony else, but I hadn't the heart to do it. Unlike many of the court officials, I cared deeply for my ponies. They deserved an explanation from the sole mare who could give it to them regardless of how painful it might be.

Nevertheless, as I stood atop the balcony looking down upon the thousands gathered below, my resolve threatened to shatter. Behind my face of stone and level voice was a hurricane I could scarcely control, but I spoke vigilantly onwards. I spoke of the battle which had taken place and the choice I had made to protect them. I spoke of the sacrifice that choice had meant the new paradigm which would rock the foundations of our kingdom.

And lastly I spoke of mourning. This would be a time of sorrow not only for myself but for those who loved my sister as much as they did me. Those words were the hardest for me to swallow — I tried not to think bitter things about how they could never know the loss I was going through, the grief I was experiencing, even if I knew it to be true. The life of mortals was wrought with such tragedies as mine, I told myself, but in the end they would face the same fate. They would be given the gift of release from this plane of existence. I, however, was not so fortunate.

When the address concluded, the masses were at a loss for words. Some ponies laughed. Some ponies cried. Most were silent, but none cheered or smiled like those in the court had. It soothed my stormy inner self somewhat knowing that all these ponies, despite what my sister believed, had indeed loved her.

If only they could have shown her that, then perhaps she'd still be here with me. But no, I couldn't allow my grief to blind me to who was ultimately at fault, no matter how much easier and tempting it was to blame others over myself. They hadn't the sight nor power to see and stop what had led to this, not like I had.

Thankfully, address now delivered, there were no other tasks left which I could not delegate. The moment I'd taken my leave from the podium I saw to precisely that, and once finished just as quickly made to retire for the remainder of the day. My ability to push my inner turmoil down had all but drained by that point, making the experience of having to bear everyone's sympathies trite or otherwise a grueling one.

Upon arriving to my room, I looked for the third time to my sister’s. I stood there, pinned between the two chambers like a fly caught in a spider's net, staring down what I could see through the doorway. It felt like centuries had gone by when I took a step in its direction, but eventually I'd come to stand right before it.

This would be the last time this demon would haunt me, I decided. I was putting an end to this, here and now.

I took in a deep, deep breath as if I were preparing to jump in a lake, and took a step forward.

A chill ran up my spine as I entered. She no longer slept here, nor would she again, but I felt her presence here in the same way I felt it in her Moon. Here was where we'd had our final argument before the end. Little did I know that was my last chance at saving her.

Quietly, I moved from corner to corner, observing every object and personal belonging of hers with great caution. I dared touch not a thing, terrified by the possibility I might break something. There were so many things I recognized too, from idle toys and knick-knacks she'd kept from herfillyhood to precious stones she'd collected and birthday gifts I'd given her. Looking at them all made my chest hurt unbearably, but I forged on.

Coming towards the end of her shelves, I spotted something which gave me pause. Sitting on the top shelf sat an intricately decorated jewelry box, one of a pair which our parents had passed down to us after their deaths. Luna's had been dusky blue with silver trimmings and sapphire, where mine was white with gold and amethyst. In their will, they'd told us to put whatever trinkets we clung to most dearly within. In other circumstances I would have never done this, but my curiosity overrode my better judgement. Carefully, I used my magic to remove the box from its resting place and bring it to me.

I opened it, and let out a short, mournful noise. Inside were three objects. One was a gray-flecked white marble that almost glowed, and across from it was another I'd not seen before, larger and pale yellow with golden orange swirls throughout. Between the two was a silver chain necklace with a moonstone pendant, similar to the one I owned with gold and sunstone. They'd been presents for us from Starswirl before he'd disappeared.

Resisting the urge to avert my gaze, I closed the box and shakily slid it back into place before moving on. There wasn't a second more I could take staring into its contents.

Next was her desk. Upon it was an open tome I figured was her diary, header written but entry left blank. A filled inkwell with quill dipped inside sat to the upper righthoof corner, ready to transcribe her thoughts. Further to the left I saw a book she'd been in the process of reading — one I'd been recommending to her for ages but she'd never quite gotten around to — bookmarked a fifth of the way through.

I trudged ahead in silence, mind as statically morose as my surroundings. Her shut wardrobe came next, but I moved on without sparing it a second look. I'd had my curiosity well enough sated after that box for a lifetime.

Lastly I stood at her bedside, the corner still untucked as if she'd just rolled out of bed for the morning. Was that when she'd decided to confront me, I wondered? Were her last dreams of imagining my demise?

I shook myself free of the questions and sat down, lifting one of her pillows up from the bed and pulling it towards me. When it was close enough for touch, I let it fall into my open hooves and held it for a time. Then, hesitantly, I brought it up to my face and inhaled.

I could still smell her.

In an instant, a day's worth of tears burst forth, spilling down my cheeks in hot waves. I barely made a sound, but my chest heaved nonetheless again and again so hard I thought my ribs might simply cave in. My hitched sobs were like pathetic whimpers, and I eventually just curled into a ball, cradling that pillow tight.

Stars in the Heavens above, what had I done to deserve this? Why had I been so blind? Why did she have to leave? Why couldn't I have died last night? It would have been so much easier than this.

After a while longer of wallowing in my own self pity, I pushed myself to my hooves. The pillow had miraculously survived the ordeal without a hint of wetness, and I settled it back where it had been. The sheets were tugged up after, then tucked in as on the right. If I closed my eyes, I could almost feel like I was tucking her into bed like I did when she was little, kissing her on the forehead and wishing her a goodnight.

Sniffling, I turned towards the door. My business was done here. Rounding the corner however, I was stopped in my tracks by a mare.

She was a pretty young earth pony, with cream-colored fur dusted by freckles, wide amber eyes, and a mess of brown curls pulled up into a hasty bun. She wore the gentlest and most apologetic look I'd ever seen in my life, and reached out to me with a smile.

I recognized her. She was one of the several maids assigned to the palace, and I'd always gotten on with her splendidly. At first I thought to be angry at her for eavesdropping, but it quickly melted away. She was simply going about her work the same way I did — what right did I have to be mad at her?

She tried to apologize regardless, but I assured her it was fine. I blanched, however, when she mentioned Luna's room, and again at her offer to clean it. Not to clean out or rearrange, she'd specified, but merely to clean. A second or so passed where I didn't understand what she meant, but when I realized what she was offering I tried not to break down all over again.

I nodded, and that was that. There was no further exchange needed, and I shut myself in my chambers to wait for evening. There was one more place I wanted to visit before the day's end.

Music.

That was the only word I could use to adequately describe the beauty of nature — music. The chirp of crickets, the rustle of leaves in the breeze, and if so close to civilization perhaps the faint background noise of ponies living all came together to form a symphony that even the greatest musicians could only try to replicate. Despite the nightmares plaguing my waking world as much as the dreaming, I could always rely on the soft embrace of nature to distract from my troubles.

It was for that reason, after setting the Sun and raising the Moon, that I'd come here tonight. These city gardens were a dear solace I could not find in the unwelcoming fabricated corridors of my solitary palace. This place too was pony-made, but the grass and dirt beneath my hooves and the trees and hedges around me were still alive, home to insects and critters of wide variety.

There was another reason for coming to this place, though. It felt like ages ago now, but once upon a time this city had been little more than a quaint town. But when Luna and I had surveyed the lands for our nation's capital, it was that very same town we'd chosen to expand. Off to the distance rose the peak of Mount Canter, its expansive mountain range like a barrier to keep us safe, and on the opposite was the wild but rich Everfree Forest. Surrounded on all other sides by viable farmland, it was the perfect location for a settlement.

However, in sketching out the plans, we both had wanted to bring something of home with us. We'd been born into a backwater village rather than a modern metropolis, but one thing of note from that hamlet was its gardens. They were massive and gorgeous, and nearly as large as the rest of the village itself, and it was after that that we'd modelled the ones here.

There were parts unknown to me branching out elsewhere for those who wished to enact their botanical creativity, but we'd designed a specific area that would be preserved. At the center was copied precisely the spot from our birthplace's gardens that we'd played in as foals, meant to be untouched except for necessary management. We'd even transported what we could from that original locale, like flowers and stones.

It was here I found myself, reliving memories generations past. Yes, these were not technically my gardens — not really the ones I'd grown up in — but that didn't change anything. It looked familiar. It smelled familiar. And many of the things that had dwelled within it still sat, either as ancient rocks or descendants of the original flora.

This was home, and each otherwise insignifcant thing that anypony else would have overlooked stood out to me in vibrant detail. Each arrangement of shrubs or pebbles turned over another memory, forgotten through the passage of time. I saw them all, playing out like a scene before my very eyes from an outsider viewer looking in.

I heard us laugh as we chased one another with ladybugs on sticks, or me comfort her as she cried at her scraped fetlock. Eventuallity it became too much for me, and I looked up into the horizon instead.

There in the sky hung her Moon, gleaming as bright as it had a short day but also an eternity ago, flanked from every angle by twinkling points of light. The air was still, and the harmony silent. She was alone up there, as I was down here, but together I could keep her company.

I looked higher still and caught her gaze, staring up into her solitary downcast eye. Some force beyond my comprehension compelled me forwards, although to what purpose I didn't know.

There, upon her bed of moonlight, she slept,and it was only I who could lull her into the dreams of sweet comfort she'd rightfully deserved all along. The words came to me more naturally than the steady rise and fall of my breast, from some spiritual place I could only sense. In these next endless winters, she would not feel pain or sadness. I would ensure that, to the best of my ability.

Calmly, I held her gaze, parted lips, and sang.

Many Moons Later

Through the forest canopy, twiddling fingers of orange-pink light dappled the ground where two pairs of tiny hooves scampered. The sound of giggling fillies intermingled with the sounds of nature, and to those whom it belonged wove about the trees stretching high above them

Father had forbade them from the woods, warning of the potential dangers lurking within, but Luna hadn't paid it any heed. In her mind, any monsters that might spring from the shadows would be struck down by her awesome might. It was ironic, Celestia thought, given the fright a murkbeast had given her that past summer. Ever since, she'd refused to go near the lake without their parents. The fact murkbeasts were entirely harmless and ate nothing but crustaceans and algae blooms hardly seemed to matter.

Such being it was that they found themselves here to play their little games. Celestia had needed some convincing to go along with it, but it didn't take long at all for her to concede. With springtime well underway, she couldn't resist the forest's beauteous allure with its verdant greens and brilliant blossoms.

Father wouldn't return home for another fortnite, off to the city to do whatever it was he did that put food on the table. Mother meanwhile got so often wrapped up in her artworks that the pair could slip out from their cottage's yard to the treeline with as much ease as a mouse. An afternoon's span could pass before they'd draw suspicion, and in that time a whole wealth of grand adventures could be had.

They were engaged in one of their favorites - sailors versus swashbucklers. As Luna chased her through the wood, the folded hat made from paper the filly wore and the eyepatch and bandana she herself boasted made it clear which of them took up which role. In both their magical grips were held aloft a matching set of wooden swords, glancing this way and that with clumsy childish practice between girlish screams of delight and yo-ho-hos.

Hopping over a stray log, Celestia turned on her hindhooves, bringing up her blade in a defensive posture. Luna took this for an opening, foolishly, and her attempt at Celestia's heart was blocked effortlessly.

The battle continued from there, sometimes running and other times standing. Branches were snapped underhoof and bird's nests disturbed by the wooden thunk of oaken weapon against tree trunk. Gradually, the light of sunset began to fade to a purplish blue, announcing the time for making way back would come soon.

When it came to their play fights, Celestia never much cared who won or lost, but the same could not be said of her younger. Luna was a fierce competitor - although blessedly not the sort to cry foul when fairly defeated - but she knew Luna would not allow them to retreat homewards until one of them was the victor.

Celestia stopped to make her final play, even if that meant shameful surrender. Luna may have found such an action boring, but she wouldn't deny a victory by default. All that Celestia was concerned for was wrapping up cozy with sister and mother alike over good warm stew and cups of fresh-squeezed peach juice. The pink-haired foal's tummy rumbled and tongue grew dry at the very thought.

She readied her sword as Luna approached, heart thumping rapidly against her small chest in anticipation, only for the other filly to keep on right past her. Confused, Celestia turned tail to follow, but could find no trace of her. She stayed quiet and careful as she tread, wondering and becoming fearful of the increasingly intrusive thoughts of what might have spurned her sister so. Had there perhaps been a timberwolf, or stars forbid a manticore? But surely, if that had been the case, Luna would have spared to mention, wouldn't she?

The unicorn swallowed and cast a glance at the area surrounding in a new, more grim light. Shadows which had seconds prior gone unnoticed now lept about in creeping ways, contorting to coalesce unknowns that promised terrible fates for young fillies like her. That she called out to Luna and received no answer only heightened her fears.

Then, with a suddenness that made her heart leap to her throat, Luna cackled and pounced on her from a tree above. Celestia was too paralyzed to act, and it was with a satisfying thud of the wooden plaything against her withers that Luna claimed winner.

I was pulled from the memory by the telltale sound of a letter's arrival. All around me, the details of the memory dissipated, falling into reality like the drawing of a curtain. I sighed and turned to my desk to see who it was that had interrupted me. Though, for as much as I wanted to be annoyed, the memory spell had nearly wrapped up anyways.

The memory spell was quite the thing indeed, something that only a caster of truly powerful persuasion might be capable of conjuring successfully. It had served me well in times past and on days such as these. The Luna which I shared them with may not have been true in the realest sense, but her presence was a consolation without which I could scarcely cope. Seeing her, touching her, so long after she'd gone from my life outside of dream or mind's eye was a gift I never once took for granted.

It was that which kept me going through the long years, mundane and uneventful as they were. One thing a pony learns after the loss of someone they love is that the period of mourning never truly ends. One might deign to recover, put the broken pieces back together, but the ghosts you leave behind follow you to the ends of the earth.

I was blessed in innumerable ways. The gold of my crown indeed could weigh heavy, but it also permitted me problems to focus my attentions upon. Diplomacy, ensuring fair elections, regulating the kingdom, and overseeing parliament - dull or grating as the role of monarch might be, it kept the dark waters at bay.

And between those duties, it was not as if I hadn't ponies to forge relations with or the little things that brought a smile to my lips. Maybe those little things were silly in the face of my history but the value of a properly entertaining play or friendly hello could not be understated, at least to my mind. It was then that perhaps some might view my reminiscence of events centuries buried with worry that I clung too tightly to the past rather than standing in the present and looking to the future, but my ability to live those moments again was just another little thing to improve my day. It was peace. It was solace, in a world relegated now to the yellowed pages of dusty tomes and cobwebbed archives.

There was that, and the pursuit to make the need for those living memories unnecessary.

After that terrible night, it took a long time to feel close to normal again - close to, for in the wake of such a trauma 'normal' could never be re-attained. My days were gone about mechanically, from dusk till dawn in a hazy stupor. The seasons passed and the world spun as it always had, caring for my plight no more and no less than the passing of a fly. Everything was gray then, from the winter ice to the summer fields. My eyes registered the colors, my brain processed them, but to me they appeared as vibrant as a charcoal sketch.

Then there came anger, a bitter and restrained breed of scorn that made me - to my great regret - resent the world around me. Neither universe nor pony went unnoticed by my secret wrath. How dare they continue about their lives? How dare the planets revolve and leaves change? How dare the constellations shift after what had happened to me?

Humility took residence, eventually. Though I'd not on a single occasion spoken those contemptible thoughts, I'd been arrogant and selfish to think them at all. I had no right to demand time stop for me and me alone, regardless of my grief. Countless before me had experienced the same or worse, and while immortality extended my own there were more important things to concern myself with than mistakes of the past.

One of those important things, among the likes of transforming the fledgling nation of Equestria into a prosperous homeland for all my subjects, was bringing Luna back to me. When the clouds of initial mourning had passed and rendered my judgement more clear, I came to the understanding that what I had done was not permanent. It was a revelation years in the making through the deep studies of the Elements and their powers. They were not merely a weapon to beat back the evils of the realm, but a set of tools left behind for generations of souls to utilize on the road to a better tomorrow.

They could be used for destruction as much as banishment, and in the right hooves even reformation. They could bind, tying the bearers of harmony to lead the way to a brighter future.

But I would not be the one to use them in that fashion. I, as one mere mare, could only do so much with them, and it was at that realization I constructed a plan.

That plan had taken decades to unfurl, and longer to formulate, but on this day I would see to it the fruits of my labor be reaped. The stars would aid in her escape, and I would have my sister back.

Coming to my place in front of the fire, I pulled a cushion from my bed and set it down. The letter followed, and behind it unspoiled parchment and inkwell for writing a return if needs be.

The seal enlightened me to the sender of the missive instantly. I had seen its gold pin and scarlet ribbon time and again for the past several years.

A smile curled its way onto my lips - my faithful student had addressed me. Any faint irritation that lingered at the worry of another trifling political matter clawing for my opinion melted away. From foalhood to the brilliant young mare I'd had the privilege to watch her become, each letter she'd sent my way was like a little gift, no matter how trivial the contents within.

Undoing the pin and allowing the scroll to unfold, I had my inklings to the purpose of this message far before my eyes read 'Dear'.

It wasn't as if I hadn't orchestrated for this exact happenstance from the beginning. I'd left that tome of ancient myths and mysteries in the bookshelf of her study room for a reason. She would recall it eventually, helped along with the nudge of a vague word here and there to jostle her memory.

Naturally, I wrote the only thing I could, and I wondered if she would ever look over it again in the future should my machinations succeed. Nary a lie did I offer in reply. There was nothing untrue about the sentiments imparted. After all, she would never know to use the Elements if she never made friends.

Perhaps it was wrong of me, however. I wasn't blind to my own manipulations, but I couldn't foresee another possibility for ensuring my oldest, deepest regret be remedied. Whom else could claim they'd have so much as the barest opportunity to do such?

No, I had made that decision long ago. I did not feel guilt for my actions, not when it came to matters of blood. What she did not know did not harm her, and I had never falsified any achievement of hers. Those were her own to boast, her own pride to claim. It might indeed have been true that she was chosen because the piece she embodied fit perfectly into the puzzle and not simply due to her arcane acumen, but I did care for her. I loved her even, as if she were a daughter.

If she learned the truth, I couldn't help to think of how she might react. She may come to hate me, but it was a steep price I was willing to pay.

The only thing I regretted in my ambitions was my first failure. She hadn't been the first one I'd selected - not the first to show the same promise. But in my eagerness to see my will be done, I had fallen into the very same trap which had lost me my only kin. For her, I did not know if I could reconcile. I could only hope.

For Twilight at least, I could be proud.

It was towards eventide when I decided to depart from Canterlot. Tonight would be the night of the Summer Sun Celebration in that quaint, queer little town of Ponyville, so it came expected that I travel beyond the mountain city's borders. Guards looked upon me strangely when I'd told them to forgo the chariot and that I would be flying alone, but they did not press the issue. I was the Princess, and regardless of what others thought best for me, they did not hold the power to change how I cared for myself.

To make certain I'd not flag attention, I cast an invisibility cloak over myself before taking off. This flight was a personal one, and I was wary of prying eyes. I did, however, have some guilts over the ponies of Ponyville. They were expecting my arrival shortly, including my faithful student, but I was not to show.

Instead, as I swooped over the rooftops of the city, I adjusted course slightly west of the town. There, flanking the valley, was a great sprawling expanse of deadly thicket. Pointedly, the memory spell from earlier rose to the forefront of my mind - flashes of a smaller village, a friendlier forest, a time both kinder and harsher than today.

The winds picked up as I lowered into my descent, sheer rocky cliffs of the great mountain amplifying the inertia my wings created. In flights such as these, I couldn't halt my thoughts from running philosophical. It put both myself and the tiny, private worlds of my subjects in perspective to look down on them like so. Fragile was the word that came to head. Save my power and the extensions it afforded me, I was not so different from them. It reminded me, inexorably, of why I bore the weight of my crown. My purpose in being put upon this earth was to protect and nurture, for every one of them down to the littlest foal was deserving of a happy and fulfilling existence. Their time to attain such was limited; no such limit existed for me, and that was why my duty was so important.

The dark treetops wavered beneath my wing's buffets as I drew ever closer to the forest. The Everfree it was called now, from what I'd gathered. Not so distant from here was the Whitetail Wood, a far closer version of the forest I'd known as a filly than this wild place.

Parting the leaves as if they were air, I landed upon the loamy ground with a thump. Instantly as a blink, my surroundings went from the still present light of setting sun to a dreary dimension of dark, rich greens and browns. Through the blanket of canopy, not a single ray of sun or moon could pierce and light a traveller's way. The world of the Everfree was wholly different from the one outside it, down to the weather itself.

Dropping the cloak from my form, snouts and eyes and angry teeth peered at me from the blackness between the twisted trunks. This region was host to all manner of dire creature, from those I'd known to fear in fillyhood to new horrors I'd seen only in anatomical illustrations.

For any normal visitor, the Everfree was an awful den to be avoided at all cost. For one the likes of myself, the danger was purely aesthetic. Despite the growls and saliva-dripping maws hoofsteps from my throat, none dared to brave beyond the precipice. They knew my strength and the magic I wielded, and only the mentally ill-fit of them would attempt for me.

The walk took longer than I'd anticipated. The path beneath me was only a whisper now, vaguely familiar but distorted by the Everfree's growth and passage of years. Few cobbles from the ancient street poked through, the rest swallowed up by soil and choked by gnarling coils of roots and vines.

It was difficult to think this place had once been a bustling metropolis, not unlike Canterlot or Manehattan in modern terms, but time had a way of changing things. That was eras away, when the sculpt of the land itself was different. If the flight here had not been humbling, the understanding that these thick woods were all that remained of Equestria's previous capitol was supremely so.

And there it was, where the trees and unrestrained undergrowth tapered out. A shadow of its former self it was, but a landmark nonetheless. The lone reason I could guess as to how it stood the test of time was the hidden magic within, beating back the consuming mouth of the forest.

It had been centuries since I'd last laid eyes upon my - our - old castle. And what a sad state it had fallen into. Once strong impenetrable walls of stone had worn and crumbled, the reinforcement enchantments having dissipated generations ago with no one left to renew them.

Inside the castle, things were surprisingly intact, but no less decrepit. Hallways and corridors were lightless as they were lifeless, the fading glow of my sun providing all there was in way of illumination. Where the ceilings remained and windows lacked, I was forced to light my surroundings myself to expunge the otherwise pitch atmosphere.

To my quiet surprise, anything of organic make was nearly untouched. Dusty and eaten by moths though they were, no mold or rot had marred them in all the decades. Door hinges creaked, but doors themselves did not fall. Books and carpets were as usable as the day they'd been abandoned, save some minor refurbishments.

Fascinating as this all was, to see how these dwellings had changed in the absence of mare, it was not why I'd come.

Walking past the rooms which had been mine and my sister's, I fleetingly thought of peering in. With some reluctance I pushed open the door to the latter's, I was met by a heart-stopping sight.

Even now, after all this time, it looked the same. When the city had been evacuated, I'd taken many of her possessions with me for keepsake, but the remainder was left alone. Her bed, shelves, and carpet all stood as the day they were cleaned - no holes, no webs, not even a mote of dust.

I swallowed hard. A lump had formed in my throat stubbornly refused to go down. I didn't know how, what kind of spell she must've employed, but that pony had stuck to her promise. Even in death, she'd preserved this place, just for me.

Bowing my head in reverence, I backed away and shut the door to leave it undisturbed. I tried not to lament that she'd been buried in the city graveyard before the collapse, and that it was likely I'd never find her to pay my respects.

Sighing, I finally resolved to where I'd intended to go from the beginning. The courtyard was a short jaunt from the main body, and it was where I'd sit when she returned.

Tilting my chin towards the sky, I settled in against the ground and pressed my flank to the overgrown grass. Evening was soon to come, and after morning, if my beliefs held firm. My magic came alight and it was not the moon I focused on as I began the process of unwinding.

I'd loved her. I'd missed her, all this time, all these miles away. I did still, or fate would not deem it I be here doing as I did

I had faith in my most faithful student to do what was right. A plan generations in the making would come to fruition, and a grave folly a thousand years committed would be undone..
The stars would aid in her escape, and I would gaze upon the face of my sister once again..

Author's Note

Wow this thing has been through a lot. Took me many reconsiderations to get this thing into its final state. I actually wrote the first chapter for it all the way back last October, but never went further.

Then I rewrote it in August, and had thought of publishing it that month, but realized with how many things I had on my plate it was going to be too much. September came and went, and I didn't get anything else done until the final chapter these last couple days.

So, after trials and tribulations that could be a story in and of itself, here it is. Figured it'd be fitting to publish on one of the series' anniversaries.

I also placed a few challenges on myself for this one.

The first was writing in first person, seeing as I only ever write in third. There's the obvious exception of this rule at the start of this chapter, but I felt the stylistic distinguishment justification enough.

The second was no dialogue. I could describe general conversations and sentiments, but nothing word for word. This was mostly to challenge myself as already mentioned, but I think it serves the story's framing of being very much inside Celestia's mind and seeing the world through her eyes -- my interpretation of her at least - rather than a more objective standpoint.

The last was to include at least some lyrics from Lullaby for a Princess in each chapter, as that song and animation was what gave me the inspiration for this story in the first place. I'm sure all you intelligent, attractive readers out there can find them. It's not like I tried to hide them honestly.

So, after that mini-essay of an author's note, I hope y'all enjoy. Let me know what you thought and felt, and feel free to offer criticism. I'm always looking to improve.