Nazi Zombie Ponies

by NICK4120

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Nightmare Moon, Comedy, Random, Princess Celestia, Crossover, Human
Length: 3332

Tank Dempsey is accidentally sent to Equestria by Richtofen

Since this got so much positive feedback on fanfiction.net, I've decided to put it here.)

After one of Dr. Richtofens plan screws up, Tank Dempsey ends up in Equestria.

Will he learn the true meanings of friendship and become peaceful? Yes.

Nah, I'm screwing with you. Shits gonna hit the fan.

Published 2012-09-10 05:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-10 05:54:01 UTC

Arrival

Chapter 1

NAZI ZOMBIE PONIES!
(I'm not really that good when it comes to writing fanfics, but I do have good ideas though. Please read and review to give some helpful tips. Thanks)

Der Reise

Rictofen was working on one of the teleporters while Takeo and Nikolai were guarding for zombies.

"All I'm saying.." the drunk russian stated. "we can shoot better when we're all drunk. We need vodka!"

"Silence!" Takeo said. "Confucius say: You no drink!"

Tank Dempsey: badass american hero walked toward the Nazi doctor. "Rictofen, what are you working on?"

He looked up to see Dempsey and smiled. "You see, I may have found a way to send one to different worlds using the teleporter! Wanna try? Just step in!"

"Wait, May?" Tank asked. "As in: May not work?"

"Don't worry, American!" Rictofen said. "If it doesn't work, you'll just end up at the mainframe!"

"Hmmm... Not sure."

"I'll give you 50 bucks. AND my Ray Gun. AND my MG-42"

"Done!" Tank said as he walked into the teleporter. "Fire the old gal up!"

Rictofen smiled and pressed the Button. Within a second, a flash of light covered the room and then Tank Dempsey was gone.

"So where did you send him?" Nikolai asked.

Rictofen looked at him. "How should I know?" he then laughed like the maniac he was.

Some place near Fluttershy's house.

Fluttershy was flying around making sure that all her animal friends were all right.

"Come on out, Angel Bunny" She said as she poked her head into his little house-thing. "It's time to wake up."

Angel Bunny just stood still. As if something was wrong.

"what's wrong?" Fluttershy asked. "Did I scare you?"

Angel Bunny didn't say a word. But he did finally step outside his house-thing.

"Did something happen?" Fluttershy asked.

Then behind Fluttershy, A flash of light then came from nowhere. At first, she was scared to turn around until she heard a voice.

"What the fuck? A Pegasus?"

Fluttershy shrieked then fleed behind angel bunny's house-thing and peeked to see who said that.

She saw a Unicorn with a Green coat, a Blonde mane and beard, and a star with a skull in it for a cutie mark.

"H-Hello?" Fluttershy said softly.

"Holy shit, you can talk?" the unicorn said.

"Um, why wouldn't I?" she asked.

"Well, your a horse." He said.

"But so are you." Fluttershy replied.

"What? No I'm not. I'm-" the unicorn took a moment of silence and ran to the river to see his reflection. In the water, he saw he was a unicorn. "Fuck, Fuck, FUCK! GODDAMN YOU, RICTOFEN! WHEN I GET BACK, YOU ARE FUCKING DEAD!" he yelled.

Fluttershy and Angel Bunny then walked toward him.

"Excuse me?" Fluttershy asked. "But who are you?"

The unicorn smiled and stood up proudly. "I'm Tank Dempsey. US Marine. I fought everything from Japs to Zombies."

"Well, nice to meet you, Mr. Dempsey." Fluttershy said. "But what's a "Marine"?"

"A Marine is one of the toughest, baddest mother fuckers you don't wanna mess with." Tanks said. "But don't worry, you don't look like a threat. I won't hurt ya."

Fluttershy looked down to Angel Bunny and. "Is this what you were afraid of?"

Angel nodded for "No" and pointed behind Tank. Tank looked to see what he was pointing at.

"OH SHIT!"

"what?" Fluttershy asked in fear.

"A zombie! They found some way here!" Tank replied. "Let's see what this horn can do!" He charged down the hill to the zombie and jumped on it then stabbed it in the head with his horn. "Take that, ZOMBITCH!"

"Thank you so much." Fluttershy told Tank. "Who knows what he could have done to my animal friends if you didnt do anything."

"No problem." Tank said. "but if theres one, theres probulaly a whole lot more. is there a town around here?"

"Ponyville is just down the street, we can go there." Fluttershy said. "And we can go ask Twilight sparkle about where you came from and what those "Zombies" are."

"Ok then." Tank said. "Lead the way."

Tank then followed fluttershy down to twilight's library. There they meet Twilight, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash.

"Hi. Fluttershy." Twilight said. She then noticed Dempsey. "Who's your friend?"

Pinkie pie gasped. "Ohmaigosh! A new friend!" pinkie pie then went to rapidly shake hands with tank. "Hi! I'm Pinky Pie! Who are you? Were going to be the best of friends!"

Tank Dempsey was in a Japanese POW camp and fought zombies. But for the first time, he wanted to put a bullet through his brain.

Rainbow Dash then pushed Pinkie outta the way. "Sorry about that. Shes kinda crazy. So who are you? I'm Rainbow Dash."

"I'm Tank Dempsey, US marine!" Tank said.

"What?" twilight asked.

"Well after one of Rictofen's fucked up experiments, I ended up here. Near her house." Tank pointed at Fluttershy with his horn. "Then we were attack by a zombie. I did kill it, but there's probably a lot more."

"Then we decided to come here." Fluttershy stated.

"Ok.." Twilight said. "But what's a Marin-"

She was then interrupted by screaming they heard from outside.

"What was that?" Rainbow Dash asked.

Tank looked out of a window. "The Devils Dogs. No match for the US Marines!"

(Expect ALOT of Dempsey quotes. Even some Grayson Hunt quotes because A. They have the same voice actor. And B. They are both equally badass

The Fight

Chapter 2

NAZI ZOMBIE PONIES Ch. 2
(Ok, so far, 1 subscription and 1 review! That's Good so far. On to the story)

Tank Dempsey Jumped on a Hellhound and stabbed it with his horn. He then turned to Twilight "Where do you keep your guns?"

"What are guns?" Twilight asked in confusion.

"GODDAMMIT" Tank said. "So what are we suppose to kill these zombies with? Horns and Kicks?"

"Well, you are a Unicorn." Twilight stated. "How about you try using magic?"

"What?"

"Well, Duh." Twilight demonstrated her magic by lifting a cart and throwing it at a zombie.

"Hmmm." Tank looked amused. He then turned to a zombie ten yards away and concentrated. And out of nowhere, a red laser fired out of his horn and went through the zombie, killing it. He then smiled. "Oh hell yeah! This is gonna turn them into red mist! BRING IT ON MOTHER FUCKERS!"

Tank then used his horn and fired a shotgun-like burst at a group of zombies that were in front of him. He then ran to rainbow dash. "Hey, how much can you carry?"

"I dunno" Dash said. "Why?"

Dempsey smiled. "I got an idea..."

Twilight was trying to horde off the zombies by throwing them or throwing something at them. It didn't work. She was completely surrounded. But then several red lasers came from the sky and killed them.

"WHOOHOO!" Tank Dempsey yelled while riding on rainbow dash.

"This is 20% cooler than flying!" Rainbow dash yelled in excitement.

Tank then jumped off Rainbow Dash and on to a zombie. He stabbed it with his horn. "Ok. That's all of them."

"Wait..." Twilight said. "What if there are infected ponies? Like a Pegasus?"

"I dunno." Tank said. "Why?"

"LOOK!" Twilight pointed up and there were three zombie pegasi!

"SHIT!" Tank Dempsey went for cover to do what he does best: KICK MOTHERFUCKING ZOMBIE ASS! "COME GET SOME!" He yelled at the top of his lungs. His laser took down two of the flying undead, but one attacked him and was trying to bite him. But the the zombie got pelted with a Bunch of apples.

"Twilight!" A southern voice said from behind. It was everyone's favorite Hick: APPLEJACK! "What in tarnation is going on? I came to town to sell my apples then these things come and attack me! What are they? Where did they come from?"

"They're zombies." Tank said. "as to where the fuck they're from, I don't got a clue."

MEANWHILE ON EARTH...

ASCENSION

Rictofen, Nikolai, Takeo, and for comic effect: Chuck Norris were running from zombies while trying to free Gersh.

Rictofen turned to everyone. "COVER ME! I VILL GO FOR THA MYSTERY BOX TO GET GERSH DEVICE!"

Nikolai turned to Chuck "You need gun, Bearded one?"

Chuck then stared at Nikolai. "Chuck Norris doesn't need a gun." Chuck then Round-House kicked an entire wave of zombies.

"I got it!" Rictofen yelled holding the Gersh Device over head. "Let's go!"

A zombie tried to bite Takeo, but Chuck then took the Zombie and bit it. The Zombie then turned back into a human, only to die from a Round-House kick to the face.

"It's amazing!" Rictofen said while observing Chuck. "His kicks are more powerful than Element 115 itself! If only I could harness his powers!"

"Forget it!" Chuck said. "No mortal can harness my power! And you don't need the Gersh Device!"

Chuck then Round-House kicked the Kassimir Mechanism and now Gersh was able to escape.

"Thank you so much!" Gersh said through the Intercom. Everyone then got Death Machines. Chuck Norris wasn't satisfied with the minigun. He then flew up and destroyed Gersh's Rocket ship with him in it.

"Oh well." Rictofen said looking up. "Guess we won't see Chuck anymore..."

Then a giant mass of zombies came from behind. But Rictofen took out his Gersh device and it sucked the zombies into a Black Hole...

"So..." Nikolai asked. "Where does Gersh Device send zombies?"

"I dunno.." Rictofen said. "Perhaps same place Dempsey is?" He then laughed at his joke.

The finale

Chapter 4

Nazi Zombie Ponies CH. 4 FINALE

(At first, I decided to postpone this story so I could work on Recon. But due to an overload of people who reviewed, followed, and favorited, I'm gonna finish it. Enjoy.)

"Mr. Dempsey," Rarity said as she began the final touches on Tanks' suit for Tonight's special event in Canterlot dedicated to the zombie killing Marine.

"Thanks." Tank said.

Twilight then walked into the room. "The Chariots here." she said. "Are you ready, Tank?"

"Oh just a second, darling!" Rarity told twilight. "I'm just putting on the finishing touches." Rarity then stitched in a few things and other fashionista stuff and BAM! She was done. She then used her magic to float the suit to Dempsey and used her hoof to point to a room. "Here you go Mr. Dempsey. You can dress into it in there."

"Thanks." Dempsey said as he trotted into the room. Ten minutes later, he came out wearing a fancy tuxedo.

"Oh wow." Twilight said. "You look amazing."

"Don't try anything." Tank said. "I may be into chicks, but I'm into human chicks."

"Ok..." Twilight said confused. "Well, lets get to the chariot. Those pegasi won't wait long."

"They'll wait for as long as I fucking want them too." Dempsey said as he trotted out the door.

"oh boy.." Twilight said.

"What's wrong?" Rarity asked.

"I'm worried about tonight." Twilight said. "I'm worried that Dempsey will end up displease Princess Celestia. And me might cause something like a cross species incident."

"Twilight, I'm know Mr. Dempsey can be rude," Rarity said. "But I'm positive that even he can be polite when in the presence of somepony like the princess."

LATER...

At the party in Canterlot...

"So Mr. Dempsey," Princess Celestia asked. "You say you weren't originally a pony... What were you?"

Tank looked up at Celestia. "I was a human. From planet Earth."

Celestia looked at Dempsey. "Human you say?"

"Holy fuck. You know what a human is?" Tank asked surprised.

Everypony stopped what they were doing. Twilights jaw was LITERALLY on the floor.

"Oh no..." Twilight thought. "ohnoohnoohnoohnoohno."

"Well," Princess Celestia started.

Twilight was relieved that the Princess didn't do anything to Tank.

"Well what?" Tank demanded.

"thousands of years ago, when Equestria was discovered. The ponies who discovered it also discovered that they weren't the only species there. There were three other species: Sangheli, Orc, and Humans. They were all violent and always in war." Celestia started. "My mother negotiated with the leaders of the three, asking them to leave Equestria. Seeing the power she had, the Orcs and Sangheli left equestria and are now in neighboring nations..."

"And what about the humans?" Tank asked

"The humans... Weren't as peaceful. They declared war on us. They burnt down our towns. Slaughtered the innocent. My mother did the only thing she could do: send them to another world. Far away from here."

"That." Tank said. "Is horse shit."

"excuse me?" Celestia asked.

"Your telling me that you sent an entire species to a planet and that is what started humanity. That's stupid as hell." Tank said.

"That's how it happened. In fact, they weren't the only ones. Some of the Sangheli wouldn't leave. But my mother wasn't around so I had to send them to another planet." Celestia bit her lower lip. "that spell takes too much magic, so now... Any sangheli I find.. Usually is put to death."

"Oh wow..." Tank said. "You homicidal bitch."

Celestia looked insulted. "Excuse me?"

"Just because people wouldn't leave their homes, you either exile or kill them?" Tank asked: "From what I've heard, your suppose to be an all loving all caring ruler. But what i see is a ruthless dictator."

"That's it." Celestia said. Her horn started to glow pink and she was pointing it at Dempsey.

Dempsey was going to douge the spell celestia was about to cast on him, but two large royal guard held him where he was.

Celestia smiled. "Lets see how you like it, on the MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!"

A portal to the moon then opened. But instead of pulling Dempsey in, two other ponies fell through it. One was a red earth pony with a bandana wrapped around his head and a bottle of vodka for a cutie mark. The other was a white Pegasus with a black mustashe and mane with a kantana for a cutie mark. He also had a hat of an Japanese imperial officer.

Dempsey looked at the two ponies. "Nikolai? Takeo?"

The ponies looked at Dempsey. "Dempsey?" they both asked.

"What's going on?" Dempsey asked.

"I don't know." Takeo said. "We were at the moon, then Richtofen did something and-"

"Hold on." Celestia said. "You say you were at the moon?"

"Yes."

"Oh no.."

The portal opened up again. But this time, an alicorn, like Celestia, trotted out of it. Its coat was black, it had snake eyes, a cloud mane, and strange armor. And riding her on her back was..

"...Richtofen." Tank said.

Hey! I'm the narrator. So shut up, Dempsey!

Anyways, so yeah. Richtofen and Nightmare moon working together.

"Oh Dempsey!" Richtofen joked. "Is that you? Your so cute as a pony!"

"You bastard!" Tank said. "You sent me here!"

"That was I intentional!" The German swore. "I'm actually very surprised that your alive! Let alone here! But enough chat!"

"We have places to conquer!" Nightmare moon said.

"Not if we have anything to say about it!" Tank said with Nikolai and Takeo behind him.

"As long as I'll have vodka, I'm in!" Nikolai said.

"My ancestors will guide me to victory!" Takeo exclaimed with pride.

The three ponies charged for Nightmare Moon. She then used her magic to hold the three down to the wall as she readied a spell that would surely kill them... Or worst.

"well guys, you two were the only ones I tolerated." Tank began. "I hated richtofen."

"No vodka..." Nikolai looked like he was going to cry.

"Wait..." Takeo looked around. "Where is..."

He was interrupted by Nightmare Moons shrieks when she was tackled buy a man with a very well-built body. He had on sunglasses and a slim Jim in his hand.

"OH YEAH!" the man said.

Yes. It was the one. The only. MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE!

Macho Man then elbow dropped Nightmare Moon, on behalf of the entire World Wrestling Federation.

Richtofen then began to run, but he was soon cut off by three very angry ponies.

"Richtofen..." Dempsey smiled. "you and I have unfinished business." he then dashed toward Richtofen, jumped, and stabbed that Nazi with his unicorn horn.

Princess Celestia then approached the ponies. "Thank you... But this doesn't change anything Dempsey." her horn began to glow.

"What the fuck?" Dempsey asked. "We saved everybody!"

"I'm sorry.." Celestia said.

"You ain't doin anything!" Macho Man said as he punched Celestia so hard, she actually disappeared into a portal.

"OH YEAH!" Macho Man said.

"Thanks man!" Dempsey said.

"everyone!" Macho Man announced to all the nearby ponies. "Macho Man is in charge now! lets all snap into a slim Jim!"

"And Vodka?" Nikolai asked.

"Oh yeah!"

So everypony snapped into a slim Jim and lived happily ever after.

THE END

(Well, that was fun to write. Thanks to everyone of my fans for supporting this. Now, if you want to see more of my work revolving around the Nazi Zombie universe, check out my fanfiction series, Recon. And soon, I'll be writing a recon story based in the My Little Pony universe. And yes, it will involve Celestias story about the humans, sangheli, and orcs.)

This is the one where Trixie dies

Chapter 3

Nazi Zombie Ponies Ch. 3

After Tank killed a few hundred zombies with his epicness, he decided that his work was done. He then turned to Twilight. "So what now?"

"Let's head back to my library." Twilight said.

As they walked to the Library, they noticed a Wagon stage, with someone claiming she was "Great And Powerful."

"What the fuck is this?" Tank said.

Twilight sighed. "That's Trixie. She thinks she is so powerful."

Tank smiled. "Hold on a sec." He then walked toward the Unicorn, pushing several out of the way.

Trixie noticed him. "Why hello sir. Have you just joined? I was just telling how I, the Great and Powerful TRIXIE, saved Ponyville from the zombies."

"BULLSHIT" Tank yelled. "You didn't do shit. I was the one who killed them with lasers from my horn!"

Everyone then crowded around Dempsey asking him to tell them about it.

"Oh yeah?" Trixie asked not amused. "What can you do that I can't?"

Dempsey smiled."Your suppose to be good at magic. Make me disappear."

"Very well." As Trixie concentrated on Making Dempsey disappear, He shot her with a laser from his horn. Right in the head.

"HEADSHOT!" Dempsey said. He then turned to the crowd. "Nothing to see here. Get lost."

The crowd then decided to run in fear from Tanks awesomeness.

A purple baby dragon then walked up to him.

"Excuse me, Mr. Dempsey?" he said.

"The fuck do you want?" Tank said.

"I'm spike." He said as he handed him a letter. "This is for you from the Princess."

"Thanks." Tank then used his horn to read the letter.

"Your welcome..." Spike then walked away looking nervous.

"Why did you do that?" Twilight asked not amused.

"What?" Tank asked.

"You just cussed out spike for no reason! That's what!" She yelled.

"I was just a little pissed off at the Dumb and Annoying Bitchy" Tank said referring to Trixie.

"Will you don't need to worry about her now." Twilight said. "You killed her..." She Scold.

"Oh well." Tank smiled and looked at the paper.

Dearest Tank Dempsey,

My Favorite Pupil, Twilight Sparkle, Has informed me that you, and you alone saved Ponyville from the Undead.

I, Princess Celestria would like to personally thank you for defending the town by holding a parade, a feast, and a firework show in your honor.

-Princess Celestria

Ps: Twilight also told me about your language. Your gonna have to stop it or I'll banish you to the Moon.

"WHAT?" Tanks said.

"Well.." Twilight said. "You do have a bad habit of swearing..."

"FUCK THAT!" Tank yelled. "I'm from USA! Home of FREEDOM OF SPEECH! I'll say whatever the fuck I want to your "Princess Celestria"!"

To be continued...

(You can bet what will happen next.)