Shining Shits Twilightself

by ESC After Dark

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance, Porn, Fetish, Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle
Length: 4163

Twilight is spending too much time studying on the weekends. Shining Armor takes matters into his own hooves, and they bond in a way that neither of them knew they wanted.

Twilight is spending too much time studying on the weekends. Shining Armor takes matters into his own hooves, and they bond in a way that neither of them knew they wanted.

Does NOT contain shit eating, vomit eating, or putting those substances in places where it doesn't belong. Does contain shitting into a toilet, vomiting into a toilet, and spashback from toilet water and the contents therin. Also, sorta incest?

Published 2021-10-09 06:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-10-09 06:50:00 UTC

The Nasty Chapter

Shining Armor grinned as he saw that his beautiful creation was done. His light blue glow surrounded the pan and pulled it out of the oven, the smell of brownies tempting him as he placed it onto a teatowel on the counter. Grin never leaving his face, he picked up the plate and spatula he had already gotten out. Carefully, Shining cut a square of brownie out of the center of the pan and picked it up with his magic. He levitated the plate underneath the brownie and placed the brownie directly in the center. It was, so far as he could tell, the perfect brownie. The perfect weapon.

Shining put the plate down and picked up the pan, minus one brownie, putting it back into the oven and setting the oven to a high enough temperature that the batch would burn beyond edibility within a few minutes. The pan would have to be scraped and scrubbed clean, but it would be worth it.

Taking a deep breath, Shining schooled his expression and picked up the plate. He immediately left the kitchen and headed up the stairs to his sister's room, thinking of what he would say. Due to the loudness of the sound of hooves on the wood floor, neither sneaking nor hesitating would be an option. He had to act without getting nervous or arousing suspicion.

Shining reached the door to Twilight's room and gave it a couple of gentle knocks.

"Hey, Twily. I got hungry and made some brownies, and I figured you might want one. Mind if I come in?"

"Sure." Twilight answered in her 'I'm only barely conscious of what I am saying' tone.

Shining suppressed a grin and opened the door, walking in with brownie in tow.

"Where do you want it?" He asked as he closed the door behind him.

As usual, Twilight was at her desk studying for some test or another, likely becoming so overprepared for it that she knew more about the topic than her professor.

Twilight just pointed at an empty spot on her desk, not looking up from her book.

"You know," Shining said as he placed the brownie on the desk, "it would be nice to see you more often on Saturdays. You're always up here studying all weekend."

"Mmhm." Twilight answered absent-mindedly as she picked up the brownie and took a bite, her eyes never leaving the book.

"You get a whole two days to break from Celestia's school every week, and you spend it all up here studying." Shining said.

Twilight hummed, but nothing more. Another bite.

"It would be nice to spend some time with you on weekends. It's the only time we see each other these days."

"Yeah." Another bite. She must have not eaten the dinner mom had brought up to her given how fast she was putting the thing away.

"I might have to take some extreme measures to get you to leave this stuffy room if this keeps up." Shining warned.

Twilight reacted a bit to that one, glancing at him with a confused look but returning to her book. She took another bite.

"You curious about what that might look like?" He asked, eyeing the last bite of brownie.

Twilight read for a moment longer, looking like she was waiting for him to get bored and leave. When he did not, she ate the last bite and finally looked at him.

"Fine, I'm curious. What?"

"I put laxatives in the brownie." Shining replied, finally letting his grin show.

He could see Twilight's eyes dancing around his face, looking for something for several seconds.

"You didn't put laxatives in the brownie. It was a center piece, so you must have had at least two yourself." Twilight answered, neither her expression nor absolute attention never wavering.

"I cut it right out of the middle." Shining replied, feeling a bit proud. "The rest is in the oven getting burnt to a crisp so nopony accidentally eats it."

Twilight dropped her book and stormed out of the room, Shining following right behind her. Down the stairs and into the kitchen they went, Shining following closely behind his sister. Twilight made a beeline to the oven and opened it, revealing the now inedibly overcooked brownies.

Twilight closed the oven and stared at it for nearly a full minute.

"Shiny," she said, turning towards him with what he could only uncomfortably consider a flirtatious look, "oh, brother of mine."

Shining began questioning his life decisions when she batted her eyelashes at him.

"My dearest BBBFF," Twilight cooed, sauntering towards him with a noticeable sway in her hips, "if you really did put laxatives in that brownie, you will be joining me in the bathroom to experience every sight, smell, and sound of the...relaxing experience that you have given me."

Twilight's smoldering gaze turned to ice in an instant, making Shining take a step back.

"And if you try for a second to run away from this, I'll...I'll..." Twilight struggled, her cheeks turning red, "I'll think of something, and you'll wish you took this out I'm giving you!"

Twilight stormed out of the kitchen, shoulder checking him as she passed. Watching her go, Shining's mind raced as he considered his options. The two of them had never had a...fight? disagreement? Whatever it was, they had never had anything like it before. Their fights were always emotional, brief, and quickly resolved, but this… Shining could not help bit feel uneasy. A long and drawn out fight with his sister was not something he was accustomed to, and if he did not resolve it quickly, Twilight had promised just that. More a war than a fight, he reasoned.

Not just a war, but a war in which the opening battle involved laxatives and having to choose between watching his sister empty her bowels or something vaguely worse. It was no wonder Twilight could not think of anything worse as a threat, Shining could not either. Twilight was neither cruel nor merciless, but she was not one to back down on things either. Shining had no doubt that she would think of something and follow through with her threat eventually.

Shining shuddered, realizing what he was considering. He entered the kitchen and started trying to think of ways to eat peanut butter other than with a spoon. Supposedly, it tastes the same coming up as it does going down, and he figured that maybe he could dilute what was already in his stomach with it.

Twilight stewed as she felt as much as heard her stomach groan, the rumble and its cause distracting her from her reading. He had seriously went through that amount of effort and thought for what, a prank? It made Twilight furious, but in the back of her mind she felt a bit of regret for having spent so little time with her brother that he would consider doing this.

Twilight felt a familiar, if slightly more urgent than normal, buildup in her rectum. Her regret was immediately forgotten, replaced with righteous fury.

"SHINING ARMOR!!!" She shouted as loudly as her lungs would allow. "IF YOU'RE NOT IN THE BATHROOM IN THIRTY SECONDS, I'M GOING TO DRAG YOU IN THERE AND MAKE YOU CLEAN UP ANY OF THE MESS I MAKE DURING THE TRIP!!!"

Twilight slammed her book closed and left her room, stomping her way to the bathroom. She entered, leaving the door open, and sat down on the toilet with a huff. She tightened her sphincter as much as possible to prevent anything from coming out too soon.

Just when Twilight was about to yell for Shiny again, his nervous face poked around the doorframe and into the bathroom. Without a word, Twilight pointed a hoof at the floor in front of her. She idly realized that it was shaking from rage. Similarly silent, Shining Armor entered the bathroom with his head held low and sat down in front of her. Twilight closed the door.

A moment of realization took hold of her as she looked at her brother awkwardly standing in front of her. She rarely felt awkward of her own accord, but she felt an empathetic awkwardness as she looked at him.

"I don't think this is a good idea." Shining muttered.

"This is your fault, take some responsibility!" Twilight growled.

Twilight's bowels twisted with a rumble, causing Shining's ears to pull further back than they already were. The pressure built, and Twilight realized that there would not be enough time to stop this even if she wanted to.

Knowing that it was too late to back down, Twilight pushed.

Like stomping on a tube of toothpaste with the lid only slightly screwed on, Twilight felt a solid mass of fecal matter explode from her anus. Pushed out by the gooey, slime-ridden, half digested mush that followed it, the turd splashed into the water at speed, creating a splashback that sprayed her rump in toilet water. The mushy paste kept coming out as she pushed, burning slightly along the way as the acids and enzymes within attacked her sensitive butthole.

The tide slowed and the stream became a pitter patter as the soft muck started breaking off of the flow halfway to the water. Twilight looked at Shining with a grimace and noticed that he was looking away and holding his breath. The smell was horrendous, but her olfactory sensors adapted fairly quickly and made the smell unpleasant but bearable. Shining would have no such luxury when he inevitably ran out of breath. Given his reputation for a relatively weak stomach, she had to do something.

"Hey," Twilight said while spreading her hind legs, getting his attention, "you better not miss the bowl and get it on me."

Shining winced, but stepped up to the toilet and looked between her hind legs into the bowl. Whatever he saw made him gag. He closed his eyes and slowly let out the breath he had been holding.

He breathed in sharply through his mouth, his eyes immediately snapping open as his larynx snapped shut halfway through the breath. In a blur of movement, Shining's head was between her legs, and Twilight felt a hint of satisfaction and embarrassment as she heard the gurgling of his stomach rejecting its contents up his throat.

When Shining opened his mouth, his head shook slightly and Twilight felt his snout rub against her clitoris, making her tense. For reasons that Twilight could scarcely begin to hypothesize about, she felt a quickly growing arousal as her mind suddenly began recontextualizing the incoming sensory information into a strangely sensual experience.

Shining spasmed, tensed, and retched underneath her, accidentally rubbing against her vagina as his vomit splashed into the toilet. The sound of him gagging and the splashing that accompanied it came across as intimate, something that ponies did not do with one another. Twilight felt her intestines twist as the laxatives went to work some more. Unlike the first time, Twilight could tell that holding it back was not an option.

"Shining," Twilight called her voice tense from her building arousal and focusing on how she felt internally, "I'm about to...have more."

Twilight pushed as she felt Shining place his hooves on either side of her flanks, squeezing them tightly and increasing her arousal. Shining's ears perked slightly as she felt the excrement passing through her anus, likely hearing the squelching of the mucus-ridden poop sticking briefly to her butthole on the way out. Shining retched again, causing his snout to rub against her clitoris even more.

As an even more putrid brew than before squirted out, burning all the while, Twilight heard a gurgling from her brother's stomach followed by retching and the sound of their combined filth splashing into the water. Twilight felt her body twitch and her breath caught with each of her brother's convulsions as his snout kneaded her moistening pussy.

Twilight felt herself wink as Shining began dry heaving, his stomach having emptied. The rubbing, pulsing, writhing sensation of his snout against her sent tingles up her spine and warmed her whole body. With each wink, the stimulation made her tense and push out more diarrhea, each push bringing with it a more liquidy and fetid liquid with it than the last.

Once his fruitless, pleasurable gagging stopped, Shining jerked his head up and out of the bowl with a gasp and shakily sat up. Bits of spattered...something were speckled across his face. A bit of movement drew her eyes downwards, and Twilight felt her eyes widen as she found herself staring at his fully erect penis.

Shining dry heaved again, making his penis bob. Embarrassed, Twilight looked back up to his face to find him staring at her.

"Don't look at me like that," he said, the look on his face somewhere between defeat and tired acceptance, "I felt you winking on my nose first."

"Well I-" Twilight tensed in pain as her intestines forced the air from her lungs. She noted with concern that she was feeling light headed.

"It's not like I forced you to stimulate me!" Twilight said defensively once she caught her breath.

"You want me to throw up on you instead?" Shining argued back, voice raised.

"No! I want you to not give me laxatives, you jerk!"

"I just wanted to spend some time with my sister! Is that too much to ask for, or did you just forget that you've got a real family once that princess adopted you?!"

"Ado- you-" Twilight was as stunned as she was furious, "She's my teacher!"

"Well you sure seem more interested in her than any of us! It's like you forgot that we exist! I've hardly spoken to you in the last year and a half!"

Twilight snorted in anger and thought back in an attempt to remember something so she could rub it in his face; something to prove that she was right. She thought of Hearth's Warming, spending only a token effort to get presents and spending just a few hours with her family before returning to the palace.

For years, Twilight had felt bad for leaving her teacher alone on Hearth's Warming and had decided to try her hardest to make it special for the princess. As old and powerful as she was, Twilight had often felt an underlying loneliness about her during their more personal moments.

Pressure followed by a loud fart broke Twilight from her thoughts. The snap back into the real world struck her hard enough that she saw their current situation in an entirely new light. She was arguing with her brother while in the middle of a laxative-induced digestive cleanout, and her empty stomached brother was glaring at her with tiny bits of poop, vomit, and toilet water splashed onto his face.

"What? Do you see the problem now?" Shining asked, heated but clamer than a few moments ago.

"We're arguing while I'm pooping." Twilight deadpanned, taking note that her hooves were shaking from the effort her body was putting into clearing her out.

Shining reared back as if struck, looking her up and down as if trying to make sure he was seeing what he thought he was. He reached a hoof up to his face and scraped it across his cheek. He grimaced when he looked down at it.

"I'm going to take a shower. You probably need one too." He said quietly before turning around and turning the hot water on in the combined bath and shower.

"I don't think I'm done yet." Twilight said, shifting her weight a bit on the seat.

Shining gave her a weird look. "Are you constipated or something? If you keep blowing and going like that, you'll end up with your colon in the toilet."

"My colon isn't going anywhere, and...yes I've been constipated lately. I don't get much exercise, and I didn't want to...take laxatives."

"You didn't have the balls to put them in your mouth?" Shining asked with a snicker.

"I don't have balls at all, so no." Twilight answered, frowning at the stupid joke.

"But you did want them in your mouth, right? The laxatives, that is."

Twilight's mouth watered at the teasing as she tried and failed to not imagine herself licking and sucking at a pair of balls. Horny, but unwilling to show it, she narrowed her eyes at him and leaned forwards slightly.

"Big brother," she said in the most seductive tone she could muster, which was rather easy given her state of mind, "I want to suck on them and run my tongue over every last part of those salty, sweaty, smelly laxatives."

Shining blinked at her, staring off into the distance.

"I'm going to get into the shower now." He said, turning around to adjust the cold knob now that the water was coming out hot.

Twilight leaned slightly to get a look under his tail, the part of her brain that processed disgust having long since become too exhausted to function properly. He should not have joked about balls so much if he did not want her looking, or so she told herself.

His ballsack contained balls, Twilight discovered with no surprise at all. They were neither notably large nor unusually small, just balls. Fortunately for Twilight, she wanted to see exactly that. The fact that they were her brother's balls was something that she tried to ignore.

It was only for a second that she saw them, but once she sat up and watched Shiny get into the shower, she knew it was enough. She closed her eyes and pictured his rear as she had seen it, reaching a shaky hoof to her slightly sticky clitoris and rubbing it as vigorously as her shaky limb would allow.

Twilight tried and failed to stifle a moan, followed by a tiny gurgle from her intestines. She hoped there was not much left to expel as she winked into her hoof, tensing up and letting out some of the last waste left in her with a splattery fart.

She pictured those balls resting gently on her nose, nuzzling them and kissing them, giving one of them a deep, open mouthed kiss and licking at it as it bobbed away and rested on her chin. Twilight shuddered out a moan, not bothering to hold it back as she danced her tongue around her open mouth in sync with her fantasy.

"Are you…" Shining asked, breaking Twilight out of her fantasy but not stopping her hoof from its work.

Twilight looked to the shower as she rubbed herself, finding Shining with his head poked around the curtain staring at her with wide eyes and open mouth, his mane dripping water onto the floor.

"You wouldn't shut up about balls, and I was already horny, okay?" Twilight defended, rubbing her hoof in circles against her clitoris.

Shining ducked back behind the curtain without another word. Frustrated, confused, aroused, and tired for a number of reasons, Twilight gave up on masturbating and slumped on the toilet. She could tell that she would not be able to orgasm without significant effort. Having that kind of bowel movement was exhausting, and Twilight was feeling too spent to put in the effort.

"Hey Shining?" Twilight called.

"Yeah?"

"Mind if I rinse off too?" Twilight asked.

"Are you still…" He trailed off.

"No, I'm too tired for that."

Shining was quiet for a moment.

"I was asking if you were still having to deal with the laxatives." He said from behind the curtain.

"Oh…" Twilight said, blushing as she reached for the toilet paper.

"So are you?"

"I think I'm done, yeah." Twilight answered as she wiped some of the liquidy gruel from her anus, wincing as she felt it smear. It had an inconsistent texture, some nearly watery, some slimy, and tiny bits of grainy semi-solids mixed in. To make it worse, the toilet water backsplash had made it cold, and Twilight shivered as she swiped at the mixture with toilet paper.

Her wiping was interrupted by Shining turning off the water and opening the curtain. As he stepped out, her eyes were drawn to the fifth leg dangling beneath him. It was not hard, but it was hanging low and long, and Twilight found herself unable to look away from it and unable to control the blush growing on her face.

It started getting harder, causing Twilight to realize what she was doing and look up at Shiny's face. He was looking right at her.

"Not that it isn't awkward," he said as he grabbed a towel and started drying off, "but I'm struggling to care."

As Shining looked away to focus on drying off, Twilight looked back at his penis and took note that he made no effort to hide himself from her.

"Shiny," Twilight said, getting his attention, "this is weird."

"Yeah." He said as he started rubbing the towel across his forelegs.

"I...can't not look. Can you turn around?" Twilight asked as she imagined nuzzling his slightly stiffened penis.

Twilight saw Shining look at her in her periphery, his blush bright enough on his wight fur for her to see it without even paying attention. Without a word, he shuffled around until he was facing directly away from her, his tail covering anything that she might have been able to see. Letting out a shuddering breath, Twilight slumped on the toilet.

"Sorry Twily." Shining said as he dried off. "This has been an...unfathomable level of weird and I'm not really sure how to react to anything."

"Well you haven't been staring at my vagina," Twilight said with a chuckle, "so you're reacting to it all better than I am."

"Yep, definitely didn't see anything when I was throwing up," he said, drying off his mane, "nothing at all."

Twilight couldn't find a response to that, letting out a sigh. She reached out for the toilet paper once again, and began wiping herself somewhat clean as Shining dried himself off.

Once he was dry, he left the bathroom with a simple "goodnight" and Twilight was alone. After flushing, she showered and masturbated again but couldn't climax. She was unable to shake the uneasy feeling in her gut that was distinctly not due to the laxatives.

After she too was dry and had headed for bed, her studies completely forgotten, Twilight found herself unable to even close her eyes. For as long as she could remember, calming her racing mind had been an issue, but Twilight was free of the usual cacophony of busywork her mind was usually drowning in. Instead, she simply felt alone.

As a socially awkward shut in, she was used to being alone but rarely had ever felt alone. She had books and the anticipation of tests and the excitement of learning to keep her company. As she laid in bed, she realized that neither her grades nor the thought of learning brought her a sense of excitement or joy in that moment. Though she rationalized it as a temporary result of shock due to what had happened, it did not help her relax or sleep.

A glance at the clock revealed that not even an hour had passed since she had laid down, but it had felt like an eternity, an eternity alone. With a huff, she threw off her sheets and left her room. A few steps down the hallway, she faced the door to her brother's room and knocked quietly enough to hopefully not startle him awake.

"Come in." Shining called out, muffled by the door but sounding very much awake.

Twilight opened the door slowly and poked her head in.

"Can't sleep either?" Shining asked her from his bed.

Twilight shook her head. "Mind if I..."

Just like he had when they were younger, Shining didn't give a verbal answer. He simply tossed back his sheets and scooted over. It took effort to not simply gallop to his bed. Instead, she quietly slipped into his room and walked over to him, closing the door behind her.

As she approached the bed, Twilight felt herself relax as she took in the distinct, familiar scent of Shining's room. She gently climbed up into his bed and scooted over towards him, curled up as much as possible. Shining wrapped her up in his hooves as he used to years ago, pulling her close into his chest and kissing her on the forehead.

"Don't study so much on Saturdays, or I'll do it again." He whispered.

Twilight merely hummed in response, smiling slightly.

The sexual thoughts from before were far from Twilight's mind as she quickly drifted off to sleep; those thoughts were completely overwhelmed by the flood of loving tenderness and security that flowed from her big brother's strong hooves wrapped around her.

Author's Note

To whoever had to read this in order to decide if it should be approved, I'm sorry.