The View from Above
Even though the former Canterlogic factory had now been repurposed to produce items that could benefit all ponies, machinery and equipment that could rebuild and repair the long dormant infrastructure between and within towns that earth ponies, pegasii and unicorns alike could make use of, Ivory Cedar still had a job there. He still had friends there. He still had the opportunity to make a career that he was truly proud of. And yet even now, almost two months after the world had changed in a way that almost all ponies had to admit was vastly for the better; a world far less fearful, far less lonely than it had been, Ivory had not attended work even once.
Thankfully, his new bosses had been extremely understanding. They had given him the time he needed, and told him that there would be a position and a team of fellow ponies to work with him and support him when he was ready. But, therein lay the problem. Two months on, Ivory Cedar didn't feel remotely ready, and he couldn't even imagine a world where that changed.
Even now, as the pony stood in front of his refrigerator and stared at its almost entirely empty shelves, he trembled at the thought of what that meant. He would have to go outside. Go out under the open sky where at any moment some freak gust of wind could sweep through the town, snatch him up and drag him away. He wasn't paranoid. He wasn't succumbing to old fears of anti pegasus propaganda. It could happen to any pony. It could happen to him, and he knew because just a few short months ago it had. After all, he wasn't just any pony. He had the newspaper clippings on his coffee table to prove it. He was 'Balloon Pony', and though he had survived that hellish, uncontrolled flight across Equestria physically unharmed, though he had tried to put a brave face on when fate had planted him back down on four hooves in Maretime Bay, the truth was that nothing had gone right for him since that day he was swept away into a sky that was no place for a pony like himself.
Every night, he had dreams. Nightmares of endless, yawning miles of open sky. He woke up screaming, convinced that he was falling, that one balloon after another was popping and dropping him faster and faster through the sky towards a cold, unyielding rocky earth below. Even when awake he was so exhausted that he couldn't focus, his mind drifting constantly to memories of what had happened interspersed with certainties of how it could have been so much worse, and would be if it ever happened to him again. And if he stepped outside his house, if he ventured out under the open sky ever, ever again, it could happen again.
It would happen again. He was sure of it.
With a huff of frustration, Ivory slammed the fridge door shut. His stomach gurgled, but he ignored it. He wasn't that hungry. He'd gone days without food before drifting past an apple tree during his time in the air and managing to snatch a couple of fruits from its uppermost branches. He just had to toughen up, wait a little bit longer, and maybe then, somehow, he'd feel better about the idea of stepping outside his home and trotting over to the general store.
As soon as Ivory Cedar came to that triumphant conclusion though, as soon as he found himself content and certain in his course of complete inaction, there was silence. There was nothing. Nothing more to occupy his thoughts. Nothing more to be angry or worried about rationally, in the immediate moment. The pony whickered softly and shook his head. He didn't have to think about that. He paced across the kitchen of his home, through the living room, then back again. He didn't have to think about how there was nothing more to think about. He didn't have to think about how there was nothing for him to do but sit around for the rest of the day, exhausted but unwilling and unable to sleep, until he was so utterly drained that he couldn't not try to steal a few moments of peace before the nightmares resumed. With a groan, he pressed his head to the floor and covered his head with his forelegs. No. He hadn't just thought about the nightmares. No. No no no. If he thought about them, the thoughts would start coming again. The waking visions of his own doom, his helplessness, his...
The doorbell rang, and Ivory whinnied in fright at the unexpected sound, trembling, blinking tears out of his bloodshot eyes. He tried to gather himself, but as soon as he took a deep and steadying breath it escaped him again in a ragged, emotive rush of sorrow and discomfort. The bell rang again. The pony winced, but found himself taking a step towards the door. If he stayed behind it, if he stayed in its frame, there was no way anything would be able to pull him out. And maybe, if he was lucky, it would be some friendly neighbour checking in on him. They'd done that a lot in the first week or two after his return, less so afterwards, but still. Maybe they'd go to the store for him. Buy him a bunch of supplies, so he wouldn't have to leave his home for weeks. Months, even.
By the time he was at the door, Ivory was actually smiling. A smile of nervous energy rather than genuine happiness of course, but a smile nonetheless as he convinced himself that this visit was a good thing. That it would be the salvation he and his gurgling stomach needed. He reached for the door handle, hesitated, and snorted in frustration before reaching out and grabbing it with one hoof. The pony braced himself, every muscle in his body tense, and dragged the door open, sweeping himself back behind it as he did so and holding back a cry of fright as warm morning sunlight pierced the gloom of his home's interior.
“Uhh... hi. Ivory Cedar, right?”
Ivory's eyes took a moment to adjust to the shape in the doorway. He squinted as he peered out at the pony who was foolish enough to brave the outside and all the sky that loomed over it, and barely held back another scream as the figure solidified into one of the last he had ever expected to see knocking at his front door. He blinked, shook his head just to make sure his lack of sleep wasn't causing him to hallucinate, then looked again.
“Yeah. Y-yeah, that's me. Can I help you... um... Princess, right?”
The pegasus pony flitted her wings in apparent discomfort at that term of address, and tossed her short, skyward pointing mane before shaking her head.
“Just Zipp, please. Zipp Storm. No... uh... 'Princess'. Ugh.”
Ivory nodded nervously.
“Oh. Okay. Um... Zipp. Hi. Can I... help you? If you're looking for Sunny or Hitch or... well, anypony else, I'm afraid I don't know where they are. I don't... y'know, get out much lately.”
Before his eyes, the other pony's expression softened slightly. She nodded, and tilted her head slightly.
“Yeah. I heard about that. Actually, that's... kinda why I'm here. Could we talk? Maybe take a walk and chat a little b-”
The door slammed in Zipp's face.
She blinked, then realised what she'd said and muttered a word under her breath that Pipp would have killed her for if she'd said it while her sister was streaming live. With a sigh and a shake of her head, she knocked gently on the door.
“Ivory. Ivory Cedar? I'm sorry. I should have said... I mean, we can talk inside if you'd like. I can come in and chat, if you'd be more comfortable that way.”
There was silence for a few seconds, then, to the pegasus pony's relief, the door began to swing slowly open once more.
“Okay.”
A nervous voice, frayed with emotion croaked from within.
“But... only inside. I'm not going for a walk. I'm not going anywhere outside. Got that?”
Zipp nodded solemnly.
“I understand. I'm sorry, I wasn't thinking. But I really would like to come inside and talk.”
The door swung a little more open, but not much, and Zipp heard hooves stepping backwards from inside.
“Come in. Close the door behind you, please.”
When Zipp entered, glancing at the drawn drapes across the windows and the rather skinny, unkempt looking pony who had retreated all the way into his living room and was clutching at the arm of a chair as the door remained open, she chided herself angrily for not coming here sooner. There was so much work to be done across Equestria, and she along with her sister and new friends were some of the best equipped ponies to start reaching out to countless communities to help get them talking again. But just because there were big problems to help solve elsewhere, it didn't mean the smaller problems, the individual problems and the ponies suffering them elsewhere in places they had already visited were any less important.
With one hind-leg the pegasus gently pushed the door closed, and trotted over to the living room area where Ivory Cedar had finally pulled himself up into his armchair, drawing a blanket around himself that made his silver haired form look three times as old as he apparently was. Zipp hopped up into another chair across from him, and smiled as she looked across the coffee table at the earth pony. He smiled weakly back, but there was no life in his eyes as he did so, and soon both ponies smiles faded.
“So...”
Zipp's eyes turned downward, to the coffee table between them and the scraps of newspapers littered across it, some from Maretime Bay but also a copy of the Zephyr Heights Gazette and even a Bridlewood Broadsheet represented, all covering the same story from shortly before the headlines had been dominated by the return of magic, and friendship, to Equestria.
“...that kinda sucked for you, huh?”
Ivory Cedar blinked at the pegasus. He looked down at the newspaper stories, then back up at her, and chuckled. It wasn't much. Just a gentle, brief burst of amusement, but it was the first time he had laughed with any sincerity and genuine lightness-of-heart for weeks.
“Yeah.”
Ivory nodded.
“Yeah, it really kinda did.”
And just like that, they were talking about it. Not talking in the way he had with other ponies, with them asking him all the things he'd seen and him trying not to have a panic attack, but really talking about it. About how terrifying it had been. About how helpless he had felt. How powerless, how alone. How it was like the whole world had forgotten about him, because for as long as he had spent in the air and even after returning to Maretime Bay, no-one had shown any sign of having tried to look for him.
Zipp sat and listened. She nodded. She frowned. She flicked her wings in frustration the same way that she had when Ivory Cedar had called her a princess, and finally, when tears began to roll down Ivory's cheeks as he described his inability to sleep or even step outside his own home for fear that it would all happen again, she hopped off the chair and trotted hurriedly up to him.
“Hey.”
She reached out with her wings, and for the first time in his life Ivory was touched by a pegasus' feathers as she delicately wiped the tears from his cheeks with them, before pulling her forelegs up onto the chair where he was seated.
“What you've been through was awful. I can't imagine. I... Ivory, I want to help you. I want to help you not be afraid any more. But, more than that? I want to be your friend. To let you know that there's somepony who does care what happens to you, and wants you to be able to sleep soundly at night. Do you think... would that be okay?”
Ivory Cedar sniffed. He trembled beneath his blanket, and his stomach gurgled with hunger. Still though, he nodded at the pegasus pony who had been more honest with him, and given him more time to speak his truth, than any of the earth ponies he had known his whole life. As soon as he nodded though, his eyes widened as two large, feathered wings engulfed him. Two hooves followed, draping themselves over his shoulders as Zipp Storm hugged him tightly. Ivory trembled. His bottom lip quivered, and a second later his face was buried in Zipp's soft white coat, weeping openly onto his new friend's shoulder.
*********
In the days that followed, Zipp Storm spent a lot of time with Ivory Cedar, or working on problems to do with Ivory. At night she slept in the now mostly rebuilt lighthouse, sharing a little of her own side of things with Sunny but respecting Ivory's privacy and not spreading his business to anyone, even her closest friends. In the morning she grabbed some smoothies from Sunny's first batch of the day, stopped by the general store to continue her slow restocking of Ivory's various cupboards and refrigerator, then trotted over to his front door with a warm smile upon her face.
At first she had just wanted to help him, but the more time they'd spent together and the more that Ivory Cedar had opened up to her about more than just the things that made him miserable, the more Zipp had started to really like Ivory. He was funny, he was really smart and kinda dumb all at once in a way that meant he was never arrogant about anything, and he had all sorts of really cool ideas, all sorts of gadgets that he'd always wanted to work on, but in the past had never had the chance to, with Canterlogic being so strictly in business for one reason and one reason only.
Each morning they sat at the kitchen table together and sipped on their smoothies, talked about what Ivory was going to cook for dinner that night, and whether Zipp had any plans with Sunny and Pipp and Hitch and Izzy for later in the day. They always tried to start off light, but sooner or later the topic of conversation would always turn to more serious matters. How Ivory Cedar had slept. What his latest nightmares had been, and why it was perfectly rational for him to have those fears. Little by little, Ivory started to talk about his problems with less shame. Less anger at himself for simply having them. He started to trust Zipp, and as he came to trust her, he came to believe her when she told him that he wasn't wrong or broken for feeling that way.
For weeks they met each morning, chatted, shared, and hung out for a few hours before Zipp headed out once again, assuring Ivory that she would be back the next day. And she was, and with each new day Ivory Cedar awoke with memories of his bad dreams, but also the knowledge that he wouldn't have to dwell on them all day. That soon he would have a friend to talk with about those problems, or about something else entirely. And even when they were gone, he could think about the next time he'd see them, the next things the could talk about.
He had control over that. Control over his own thoughts, because he could trust Zipp Storm to be there, and that certainty was deeply, deeply comforting to Ivory.
In fact...
One morning, almost three weeks into their regular daily hang-outs, Zipp arrived at Ivory Cedar's house to find his front door open, and Ivory pacing back and forth just inside. He saw her. He grinned, his cheeks stained with tears but his face looking brighter, happier than she had ever seen him before.
“Control.”
He giggled, stepping forward to greet her, to hug her, and without even thinking about it setting a single hoof outside his front door as he raised the other to embrace his friend.
“I think... I think I know how I can feel better about things. A lot of things. I just... I need to find a way to take the things I'm afraid of, the things I'm so scared could happen, and put myself in a position of control, so I can make sure that they won't. Or...”
His cheeks flushed, and he beckoned Zipp inside.
“...or, so I can trust my friends to make sure that they won't happen, for me.”
Of course, simply saying it didn't make it easy. It was the start, not the end of Ivory Cedar's journey. Yet from that first unwitting hoof planted outside the front door of his home, others did follow.
A week later, Ivory peered out of the open drapes of his home's front window to see not just Zipp but all her friends sitting under a large marquee style tent, pitched on the street immediately outside his house. Underneath it there was a table laden with food and drinks, and as Ivory opened the front door and blushed as he was greeted by rapturous applause and cheers from Zipp and her other friends, he looked up to see an extra sheet of the tent's fabric had been slung between the guttering of his home and the actual side of the tent itself, ensuring that not a fraction if his journey would be exposed to the open sky.
That day he sat outside his house with other ponies for three hours and seventeen minutes before quietly, nervously asking Zipp if he could go back inside as a gentle breeze whipped down the street and rustled the tent's fabric. He said goodbye to Zipp and his other new friends, and as he stepped back inside his house he didn't feel defeated or deflated by having to end the party a little early, but proud of himself for taking such a huge step.
One morning, Ivory woke up to a strange sound. A rather frantic ringing of his doorbell and hurried knocking at the same time. He scrambled out of bed hurriedly, bleary eyed with fatigue, and raced to the door, only to find Zipp looking distraught with worry.
“Why didn't you answer? Dumb pony, I thought something was really wrong!”
She gasped as she hugged him ever so tightly, only to draw back and gently headbutt him in the shoulder a moment later. At first, Ivory Cedar simply couldn't explain why he hadn't heard the doorbell from his room as he had every day since Zipp had first started to visit. Eventually though, it hit them both at the same moment. So obvious, yet so unheard of a thing in the history of their time as friends that it simply hadn't occurred to them.
Ivory hadn't heard the doorbell because he had still been asleep.
Because he hadn't woken up.
Because he hadn't had any nightmares.
Ivory had never been hugged so tight, or so long as Zipp held him that day, and when he went to bed that same night, it was the memory of that hug that helped him drift off to sleep without fear, and without any more nightmares. Instead, he dreamed of balloons floating ominously across the skies towards him, only for each and every one of them to be swept far, far away again by the powerful, beating wings of a grinning pegasus.
Another week passed, and one morning as she slipped into the Maretime Bay general store, Zipp gasped at the sight that greeted her in the fruit and veg aisle.
“O-oh. Hi, Zipp. Darn, I thought I was gonna surprise you by having everything already ready when you got to my place. But, uh... to quote Izzy? Ta-daaaaa!”
Ivory giggled bashfully as he stood near a stack of shiny red apples, a basket resting beside him, and four heavy weights strapped to each of his hooves, slowing him down and weighing him down, but not stopping him in the slightest.
A few days later, he and Zipp took a walk together.
A walk, outside.
Some ponies noticed him. Some stared, others said hi and commented how good it was to see him out and about. One began to make a joke about watching out for stray balloons, and Ivory Cedar had never seen a pony intimidated into silence so hard and so fast by the glare that Zipp shot them.
“Well, now you're gonna have to go befriend them for months too, because that look is definitely gonna give them nightmares.”
Ivory joked, and he and Zipp walked on, laughing warmly together, under the warm morning sky.
*******
Six months had passed since the return of magic.
Six months since Ivory Cedar set his hooves back down in Maretime Bay, as he, Zipp, Pipp, Izzy, Hitch and Sunny sat on the clifftop a short distance away from Sunny's home.
“You ready?”
Zipp put a hoof around Ivory's shoulder, grinning as he smiled at her and nodded gently.
“Yeah...”
She murmured with quiet confidence.
“I know you are.”
The other stayed behind, sitting and watching, beaming at one another as Zipp and Ivory trotted a little way along the cliff. Ivory Cedar looked down at his unweighted hooves as he walked, then up. Up at the sky. He heard a flutter of motion beside him, and grinned as he saw Zipp Storm dart past overhead, shooting ahead of him at top speed. He broke into a canter, then a gallop to keep up with her. It took just a few moments at that pace for them to reach their target, and as Zipp strapped herself into her harness, Ivory Cedar scrambled up into the basket.
He watched the pegasus tie on the last of her fastenings and turn towards him, wings flared and ready to fly. He grinned at her. She beamed back.
“I'm so proud of you.”
She called out, louder than she needed to, not just wanting Ivory to know it but the whole of Equestria. Ivory blushed. He beamed at her with gratitude, and after nodding happily at his dear friend once more, he began to unfasten the ropes holding the basket to the earth.
He wasn't afraid.
He wasn't afraid, because he was in control.
He had been studying this for months. Practising every day since it had arrived, tethered safely to the lighthouse as he learned how the ballast and the torch and everything else worked.
But, even if all of that failed, even if he forgot everything he knew, even if a freak gust of wind swept him out to sea, he wasn't afraid. Even if he was totally not in control, Ivory Cedar wasn't afraid any more, because he had a friend with him.
He let loose the last rope, and the hot air balloon in which he was standing began to rise away from the earth. With a flutter of her wings and a surge of pegasus magic, Zipp rose alongside him, her harness attached to the balloon's basket so that even if the wind took it off course, she could guide it and it's occupant safely home again. Home, or wherever else he wanted.
Ivory Cedar could see all of Equestria if he wished. He could fly like a pegasus, he could fly alongside his dear friend Zipp Storm, go everywhere she went and see every airborne miracle that Equestria had to offer.
Peering over the edge of the basket, Ivory beamed as he saw the small figures of Sunny, Hitch, and Izzy leaping around happily on the cliff edge far below. He saw a streak of light and watched as Pipp Petals soared around the balloon in a wide arc, taking photos with her camera and beaming with elation as she watched her sister and their friend fly.
Ivory looked down as Pipp descended once more, leaving him and Zipp floating calmly together. He looked at the lighthouse. At the shoreline. At the beautiful town of Maretime Bay.
He loved his friends. He loved his home. He loved his life again, and that fact in itself was something that Ivory Cedar would be eternally grateful for. But right now, with Zipp grinning and flying alongside him, Ivory didn't think he'd ever loved anything quite so much as the feeling of calm contentment that filled him to overflowing as he peered out over the edge of the balloon's basket, and quietly enjoyed the view from above.
By Jeeves
Author's Note
Ivory Cedar is not the character of "Balloon Pony"'s canonical name, which I believe is unknown as of my writing this, but I found references to him being referred to by that name already in other fan-works, so here we are. :D
