Sunny Side Up
(Sunny’s Lighthouse)
“Dang it Sunny. This is the third time. THIRD TIME this week!” Hitch paced in front of his childhood friend as she laid on the couch with a bored expression, already used to having the sheriff lecture her. “Do you have any idea how dangerous your stunt was!?”
“Relax ‘Sheriff’.” Sunny waved it off nonchalantly. “I’m a pro when it comes to flammables. Besides, I wasn’t gonna hurt anyone. It’s just a big misunderstanding. It’s not what it looks like.”
“You were trying to rearrange the fireworks display controls so that the alignment would create a harmonic figure of Earth Ponies, Pegasi, and Unicorns.”
She paused. “Ok so it is exactly what it looks like. But it wasn’t gonna hurt anyone. The firework display was gonna be on the ocean. Away from town.”
“Do you even realize what kind of reaction ponies would take if they saw a unicorn or pegasi firework in the middle of the harvest festival!? They’d all think it was some kind of invasion. Everyone would freak! You’re lucky I was around to stop you. If it were any other pony, I don’t know what they would’ve done to you.”
“Oh don’t be so dramatic. Everypony here knows that I’m a free spirited pony.”
“You mean rebellious mare.”
“Eh. Tomehto-tomato.”
“I’m serious Sunny. I am giving you your third warning.”
“Sixth actually.”
“Grrr! Sixth warning then. Please… PLEASE! You have to stop doing this. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is having to arrest my best friend on a weekly basis?”
“Then stop arresting me.”
“I can’t. It’s my job.”
Sunny rolled her eyes and walked out of the couch towards her kitchen grabbing a mug of tea. “You know what’s your problem is Hitch? You need to loosen up. We’ve had this song and dance a dozen times before and we both know how this ends. I do one of my usual stunts, you catch me, threaten to throw in pony jail and I convince you not to by giving you a blowjob.”
“Oh no. Not this time Sunny. A blowjob’s not gonna cut it at this point.”
Her head snapped in his direction as her eyes darted left and right. “Oh… OH! You… wanna go the other way?”
“I’d prefer if you actually stayed out of trouble for once. Why can’t you be like the other ponies? Not in your sense, but as an actual law-abiding citizen.”
She laughed unexpectedly. “Oh please. You’re one to talk, Mr. Studhorse.”
Hitch tilted his head. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Just because the rest of Maretime Bay thinks you’re some paragon of virtue. Doesn’t mean they know the real you.” Her grin widened. “I know the real Hitch Trailblazer. And he’s not as perfect as they might think.”
“Oh really?” He challenged back. “Care to prove it?”
“Gladly.” She then gestured to the calendar where the stallion was the model for the portrait sporting a one piece lifeguard shorts. “Observe this…”
“Hey I remember that. The Summer lineup. Good times.”
“Pfft. Showoff.” She scoffed. “Anyway. Not my point. Remember that time when you actually had to do the lifeguard job at the beach?”
“Well duh.” He shrugged. “Of course I do. I had to play the part. And I played it good. The risk of a foal nearly drowning by the beach went down by 70% after I petitioned to get that sea wall put in. I was the champ.”
“Uh huh. And you wouldn’t happen to remember going to the showers with a certain Ms. Mayflower?”
Hitch’s cheeks suddenly turned red as the memories came flooding back. “I… have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Oh REALLY? Because I certainly remember vaguely that Ms. Mayflower and Dahlia asked you for some… assistance handling the camera equipment. And the moaning from the showers. Lots and lots of moaning. I’m actually surprised no one heard it.”
“And how pray-tell, do you know all of this?”
“I was taking a break from selling smoothies and passing by. And trust me, you certainly did not disappoint those mares.”
Oh he certainly did not. Mayflower and Dahlia were easy to pleased. A little lick on the neck, a groping on the ass, a little massage on the breast and they were wetter than a waterfall on early Spring.
“How can you even tell that was me?”
“Trust me. A best-friend knows.”
Hitch eyed her but didn’t bite. “Fine. So what if I did a little do? There’s no law against that. And the two of them were singles. Nothing wrong there.”
Again Sunny rolled her eyes. “Alright. Then how about this?” She flipped the calendar showing another steamy photo of hitch in an easily removable cop outfit. “Your stripper days. Or… as I’d like to call it, the Hitch Stitch days.”
“Oooh right. I remember that. Those were the best times. It was months before I joined the force and I needed money.” He crooned lowly. “Heh. Those were some wild weekends. I was into the stripping business for three months before they kicked me out. Apparently I was booked months ahead of time. I was practically eating up the business of the other ponies. They really couldn’t keep up with me.”
“Oh please. You were not THAT good.”
His dung eating face said otherwise. “Say what you want. That job paid off every bit of my mortgage.”
“Uh huh. And… do you remember Kickback’s wedding?”
“Sure I do. It was with Tulip and……… oh…” His ears drooped downward. “That was…”
“Remember that party that went out of hand?” She winked suggestively.
“I… partially remember.”
“You banged the bride and five of her bridesmaid!”
Yup, it was all coming back to him now. It was perhaps his best performance in his career though much of it were blurry. He remembered the mares there laughing their mouths off as he tore off his shorts, his shirt and his underpants. He remembered that there was a lot of beer, music, a boatload of pixie dust, and a whole load of sex.
The mares had their hooves all over his body and he only had one dick to shove. They really couldn’t get enough of him. But the stallion was not one to fail to deliver. He pumped on and on until he wasn’t even sure who he was ploughing anymore. Even when over half of them were already brain-dead from the dicking, he went on. By the time the next afternoon came, every one of them were stone cold out of their breaths.
Last he heard from the two, the wedding was cancelled because of ‘Financial’ reasons.
“Ok, that might’ve been a bit much.” Hitch admitted. “But in defense, the two of them were not married yet. So I’m in the clear.”
“Sure. Keep telling yourself that.” She flipped another page on the calendar. “Oh… and how about this? Your official promotion to Sheriff.”
“You mean the proudest day of my life?” He smiled.
“Uh huh. And remind me again… what were you doing inside town hall?”
His face again turned red. “I was uh… prepping myself for my cue to be given my official badge.”
“You were bucking the mayor’s wife, his daughter and his secretary just as he was giving out his speech about YOU being a standup pony!” Ah… that’s right. It was… his contribution and thanks to the working political ponies of Maretime Bay.
“How did you even know about that? The walls in that building are supposed to be really thick.”
“I was taking a break from selling smoothies.” She gave a repeated answer. “Sometimes a pony can be at the right place at the right time. And knowing you. You were certainly at the right place at the right time.” She laughed. “How did that even happen?”
Hitch’s eye rolled. “Ugh… you know how long the mayor’s speech can go. I got bored and the secretary led me to an empty office room. Mrs. Mayor and Little Clipboard walked in on us in the middle of the session and… apparently the daughter knew me from my stripper days. One thing led to another and the whole thing escalated.”
“Wow… WOW! You must’ve really done them good. I mean those three looked practically dopey when they came out. I mean when Little Clipboard came up to give you that badge, she looked she wanted to smother her tongue all over you.”
“She sure did. She and her mom anyway.”
“She looked pretty young too. She was legal, right?” A brief silence went by. “She was LEGAL… right~~?”
“Of course!” He paused. “Roughly… probably… hopefully … maybe.”
“Wow… that is wild. How many is that now? Is there a mare in Maretime Bay that you haven’t bucked already?”
“I wouldn’t take it that far.”
She grinned. “I’m not hearing a no.”
“Fine! So what if I’m a little physically active? Are you gonna blackmail me?”
“Of course not. That’s not what best friends do after all. I just want to remind you that you do things that aren’t so morally bad and I do… stuff. So…”
Hitch’s expression slumped. “Ugh… fine. I suppose it wouldn’t be the first time I let you off the hook for no reason.”
“Great! So… all is forgiven?”
His smirk returned. “Eh… I’m not there yet.”
“Ok… how about a quickie?”
“Heh… you know me too well.” They pranced off to the bedroom a moment later.
