This is How a Unicorn Ruts

by AndwhatIseeisme

Rating: mature
Tags: My Little Pony: A New Generation, Sunny Starscout, Zipp Storm, Sex, Hitch Trailblazer, Izzy Moonbow, Porn, Pipp Petals, Comedy
Length: 3831

Izzy teaches her new friends about unicorn butts and all the fun that can be had with them.

After singing the best song in the movie, the mane 5 are ready to head into Bridlewood and take care of business. But an innocent question regarding a certain line of the song soon leads to a discussion of butt sex, and why it's so great. When Pipp and Zipp reveal that pegasi don't do anal, the rest of the group realize that certain things are more important than bringing back magic and fostering world peace. Things like getting fucked in the butt.

Warnings: Lot's of anal sex and assplay, rimming, horn fucking, lesbian and straight sex, mentions of sex between stallions, Pipp being Pipp.

Now with an audio reading by The Mystery Fluttershy Fan, check it out here: https://utreon.com/v/-AHdSuKgTE_

Published 2021-10-08 20:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-10-08 20:00:00 UTC

We Take It Up Our Unicorn Butts

"This is how a unicorn ends this song!" Sunny and Izzy sang, stepping outside the unicorn's home and shutting the door behind them as their musical number ended.

"Oh wow, great song you guys!" Pipp cheered. "That would have gotten so many retwats on my Ponygram!"

"I have no idea what that means," Hitch replied to the excited pegasus.

"Trust me dude, don't ask," Zipp advised the earth pony stallion.

"So! Is everybody ready to go look for some crystals?" Izzy asked.

"Sure! But, um... listen. Hold up a sec, Izzy," Sunny requested. "Look, the song was great and all, but what was the point of having us shake our asses at the camera back there? Why sing about looking at unicorn butts?"

"Huh?" Izzy asked, tilting her head in confusion. "Oh! Right, that part. Pfft. Duh! Unicorns are all about looking at each other's butts! It's like, 24% of our daily routine."

"24%?" asked Pipp.

"Yeah, it's 20% higher a percentage than 20%, ya know?" Izzy explained. "Gotta bump up the numbers for a new generation."

"Right..." Zipp said incredulously, "not even going to bother questioning that logic. But what's the deal with you all looking at each other's butts?"

"Well... because they're sexy, of course!" Izzy replied. "Ever since unicorns lost their magic way, way, waaayyy back, we haven't been able to cast contraception spells. So, you know, we kinda had to start fucking each other in the butts if we didn't want foals. After so many generations of that, we all sort of have a thing for butts now."

"Oh! So that's why you've been checking my rump out ever since we left Maretime Bay!" Sunny proclaimed in sudden understanding.

Izzy nodded. "Yep! You've got a super cute butt, Sunny," Izzy told her, her eyes dancing across the other mare's ass . "As a matter of fact, you all do. I bet that part of our song is going to be super popular."

"Wait wait wait! Hold up," Zipp interrupted. "You have sex with each others butts?" she asked in disbelief. "Ewww. That's disgusting!"

"Yeah, seriously," Pipp echoed her sister. "Don't get me wrong, I've done some pretty weird stuff for my Pippsqueaks on my PonyFans account, but I've never let anypony put something up my rear. That hole's exit only."

"Really?" Izzy asked. "Wow, you pegasi are really missing out. Taking a stallion up the butt feels super good! I mean, as long as they know what they're doing."

"Eugh! No thanks," Zipp replied, grimacing at the thought of taking a stallion back there.

"What about you guys?" Izzy asked as she turned to Sunny and Hitch. "Do earth ponies have butt sex, or are you as boring in bed as the pegasi apparently are?"

"Hey! We're not boring in bed!" Zipp protested.

"Well, I mean... you kind of are," Pipp murmered.

"Oh please, just because I'm not a camwhorse slut like certain princesses," Zipp countered.

"Hey! Just because I have sex on camera for money doesn't make me a camwhorse!" Pipp argued.

"That's literally the definition of the term!" Zipp stated in frustration.

"Anyway," Sunny interjected, trying her best to ignore the pegasus siblings' bickering, "earth ponies do indulge in anal, I guess, but it's not really something mares do often."

"Yeah," Hitch added. "usually butt fucking is just something that happens between stallions."

At these words, Zipp and Pipp immediately stopped arguing and stared slack-jawed at Hitch. Izzy quickly ran back into her house, grabbed one of the tea cups from her set, ran back outside, gulped it down, and spat it out in shock.

"Are you telling me-" Izzy began.

"-that earth pony stallions-" Pipp continued.

"-fuck each other? Without a mare?" Zipp finished the collective though.

"Um... yeah," Hitch replied, unable to understand the three mares' shock.

"Why wouldn't they?" Sunny asked. "Surely you three have fucked other mares, right?"

"Yeah, of course," Pipp and Zipp stated together.

"Obviously," Izzy replied, "and don't call me Shirley."

"So why's it any stranger that two stallions would have sex?" Hitch asked.

"I'm not sure," Izzy admitted. "Stallions fucking stallions is just, I don't know, weird."

"You know that's exactly what they said about butt sex," Sunny reminded her friend as she gestured to the pegasus sisters.

"Yeah, cause you're all weird," Zipp stated.

"We're not weird!" Izzy protested.

"Well, you kind of are," Hitch said, "but not for the sex stuff necessarily."

"Hmm... fair enough, I suppose," the unicorn admitted. "Oh! Hey! Everypony shut up and listen, I've got an idea!"

"Is it butt se-?" Sunny started

"It's butt sex!" Izzy proclaimed. "Hitch! You've got to have butt sex with all of us!"

"Whoa, hey! I did not sign up for this!" Zipp argued, backing away slightly.

"I don't know if we really have time for this, Izzy," Sunny said. "I mean, we still have to find that unicorn crystal, which is definitely the only other crystal around because surely there wasn't a third mural depicting a crystal of a third race in that empty window panel that was exactly the same size as the other two windows and between them."

"That really framed you, the earth pony, really well in that shot, by the way," Zipp added.

"Thanks!" Sunny said.

"Now, just hold on a minute here girls," Hitch started to say. "I admit, I wasn't too keen on traveling with unicorns and pegasi when we started all this. But, after spending time with all of you, I realize that Sunny has been 100% right all these years. We should all be friends with each other, and I think all three races can one day come back together in harmony and friendship. But, if we're all going to be friends, we should be open to trying out other culture's traditions."

"You just want to fuck us all in the butts," Sunny admonished her friend, bumping against him teasingly as she did and trailing her tail beneath his dock.

"Well, yeah," he admitted.

"I'm up for it," Pipp stated. "If it's as good as you all seem to say it is, I'll be able to get sooooo many tweeters on my tickdock by introducing a new sex act!"

"You've got to be kidding me," Zipp said.

"Oh come on, Zipp. What's it hurt to give it a shot?" Sunny asked, rubbing herself against the pegasus. "I know you've been trying to get Hitch's cock in you since we escaped Zephyr Heights."

"Ugh! Fine," Zipp relented. "I guess I'm down with it if everypony else is."

"Alright, great!" Izzy shouted as she pushed everypony back into her cabin. "Let's do this!"

Back inside, the five friends made themselves comfortable as they prepared to partake in a bit of casual butt sex.

"Well Izzy, you're the expert on this. How do ya want to do this?" Zipp asked.

"Hmm..." Izzy stroked her chin as she contemplated the logistics of getting four mares laid with only one stallion to share between them. "Alright! Let's give the pegasi the first rutting. Zipp, Pipp, lean over the table over there and hike up those tails. Hitch, you and me will get them prepped and then you can fuck them. Sunny? Get Hitch fluffed up so he can give those mares a proper pounding."

"Yes, ma'am!" The other four instantly moved to follow her instructions.

Zipp and Pipp got into position, presenting themselves to their friends as they prepared for what was to come. Neither was sure what to expect with this whole 'butt sex' thing, but they figured they might as well just relax and go along for the ride.

"Alright, first thing we need to do is get you two ready," Izzy explained. "Since neither of you have ever been fucked in the butt before, we've got to stretch you out so that it doesn't hurt too much. Don't worry, Hitch and I will take care of you. Which one do you want to prep, Hitch?"

"Hmm..." Hitch debated as he admired the asses of the two pegasus mares in front of him. Did he want Zipp's tight, athletic ass first, or Pipp's more plump and doughy rump. Decisions, decisions...

"Too long!" Izzy interrupted his thoughts. "I'm taking Pipp, you get working on Zipp," she ordered as she lightly shoved the stallion toward Zipp's waiting ponut.

Hitch shrugged and leaned in to prepare Zipp's hole. "Alright, Zipp. This is going to feel a bit weird, but just do your best to relax and enjoy it."

With that, he lapped his tongue up Zipp's crack, from anus to dock. Zipp shivered as she felt his tongue touch her ass. The stallion started to gently massage her anus with his hoof, playing with it and wriggling the tip of his hoof inside of her. Zipp moaned as she felt her ass hole being stretched and opened by the stallion. She gasped in surprise when she felt his hoof replaced by his tongue, the wet appendage snaking it's way inside of her.

"Woah! That is definitely an interesting feeling," she muttered. "Keep that up sheriff and I might come around to this whole butt thing."

Hitch pushed his face further into Zipp's rump, encouraged by her words. As he wriggled his tongue deeper inside of her, he began to push a hoof back inside her too, stretching her walls wide enough to accommodate his girth. Speaking of his girth, he moaned into Zipp's ass as Sunny's mouth engulfed his cock. Sunny's technique was well practiced on Hitch, and he was quickly hardened to full mast.

Meanwhile, to the side of them, Pipp was moaning lewdly as Izzy fucked her with a hoof. Hitch was impressed that Izzy was already able to get half her forehoof inside the pegasus. Perhaps Pipp wasn't as inexperienced in anal as she had pretended to be.

Izzy smiled at Hitch as she worked her hoof inside Pipp's ass. "I think this one's ready for you, if you want to switch it up," she offered.

"Yeah, sure," Hitch shrugged, stepping away from Zipp and pulling his dick out of Sunny's mouth. Izzy was quick to take his place stretching Zipp out, and Sunny had no issues swapping from Hitch's cock to Izzy's pussy.

As the three mares worked on each other, Hitch mounted up on Pipp. He pressed the flare of his cock against Pipp's butthole, and prepared to push inside her.

"Alright Pipp, get ready for me and try your best to relax your muscles around your rump," Hitch advised. "This might feel weird at first, but give it a little time and I promise you'll start to like it."

"Oh! Oh! Hang on," Pipp said before pulling out her phone, "I want to make sure I get a good selfie of this to post on Marebook later."

"Seriously? How many of those sites do you pegasi have?" Hitch asked as he pressed his tip into her.

"Only about sixty ni- oh wow! That feels weird," she said.

"Just wait until I start really rutting ya," Hitch warned.

"Check it out, Pippsqueaks! I'm here in an actual uni-- oh geez Hitch, you're big-- unicorn cabin, getting fucked by-- oh gosh --by an earth pony!" Pipp spoke to her camera as she struggled to accommodate Hitch's cock inside her ass.

"Oh, for the love of-- Will you just shut up and ride his cock so I can get a turn?" Zipp cried out in frustration. Her ass was still being worked on by Izzy, and Sunny had moved her attention to Zipp's twat, but the pegasus was still eager to get some dick inside her.

"Ugh, fine!" Pipp moped, setting aside her phone as she settled in to enjoy Hitch's dick.

Hitch didn't really care whether Pipp was on her phone or not, he was just enjoying the feel of tight princess ass wrapped around his dick. Now that she had gotten used to him, he was able to rut her without holding back. He continued to pound her ass while she moaned and writhed beneath him. The feel of fucking a cute pegasus, the sight of Sunny eating Zipp out next to him, it was all perfect. What else could a stallion ask for?

Wait, where was--

Hitch gasped in surprise as something long and thin began to penetrate his ass.

"Whoa, hey! Wait Izzy, are you sure that's... oh wow," Hitch's protests died away as Izzy began to horn fuck his butt.

"Hehe, don't worry Sheriff Hitch, I've got quite a bit of practice at this," Izzy reassured him. "You just keep rutting Pipp there, and let me worry about what my horn's doing."

Hitch wasn't about to argue when what Izzy was doing felt as good as it did. He wasn't sure how she was managing to do what she was doing without stabbing him, but he figured he was probably better off not asking her. No sense trying to bring too much logic into a sex scene like this, right?

"Oh gosh, Hitch! I think I'm -- I'm gonna, ahh" Pipp moaned, tightening around the dick in her ass as she came.

"Wow sis, that looked like a pretty good one," Zipp commented, watching her sister's climax as Sunny continued to eat her out. "Haven't seen you come that hard in a while."

"Tell me about it," Pipp agreed as she slid off the table she had been leaning on and collapsed onto the floor. "I'm definitely telling all my followers on WhatsPlapp about this once I can move my legs again."

"Hey Izzy, quit it for a moment, will ya?" Hitch asked as he slid his cock out of Pipp's butt. "You're going to make me cum before I have a chance to give the other princess a ride. Why don't you and Sunny play while I deal with Zipp."

Izzy slid her horn out of Hitch and turned to look at Sunny. The earth pony mare pulled her face away from Zipp's crotch and smiled at her unicorn friend.

"I get to give oral to an earth pony, a pegasus, and a unicorn in a single orgy?" Sunny asked with giddy excitement. "It's like all my foalhood dreams come true!"

"Well, what are we waiting for then?" asked Izzy. "Let's get our freak on, mare."

Izzy and Sunny quickly entwined their bodies together, rubbing and grinding against one another until their faces found each other's pussies. Hungry mouths feasted greedily on the nectar of the other's arousal, both mares moaning and grunting as they rolled around on the floor, lost in pleasure.

Zipp was watching the two of them with some envy in her eyes, having discovered how talented Sunny was with that tongue of hers. Fortunately, she was quickly distracted by the weight of a stallion on her back. Hitch's cock was sandwiched in the crack of her rump, throbbing between them as he prepared to take her.

"Whoa there, Sheriff. Feels like your packing some serious heat back there," Zipp teased, wriggling her rump against him.

"You bet I am, Zipp. You think you're up to taking it?" Hitch asked, grinding himself into the cleft of her butt.

"Only one way to find out," Zipp replied.

"Sounds like someone doesn't seem as grossed out about the whole butt thing anymore," Hitch teased.

"Oh my gosh, will you two just fuck already!" Pipp demanded, one hoof playing with her pussy and the other holding her phone, recording the action. "My Smackchat followers don't have all day, ya know?"

"Speaking of things going up asses, I've got a few ideas about what to do with that phone of yours, sis," Zipp threatened. Pipp responded by sticking her tongue out at her sister, before returning to her recording.

"Ladies! Come on, no need to bicker," Hitch admonished the two mares. "Just focus on the ol' Hitching post and enjoy."

Zipp silently mouthed the term 'hitching post' to Pipp, who rolled her eyes and both sisters shared a silent giggle, before Hitch began to push himself inside the princess. Zipp hissed in mild pain as his cock invaded her depths. Even with Hitch and Izzy's prep work, she was still tighter than even Pipp's butt had been, and the stallion was careful to take his time and enter her slowly and deliberately.

"Hnnf. Fuck, Hitch. That stings back there," Zipp complained as she took his cock farther inside of her.

"It'll feel better if you quit being so tense, Zipp," Hitch assured her, having gotten about half his dick inside. "You're ass feels like it's got me in a vice back here."

"Right, sure... relax," Zipp echoed, taking a couple deep breaths and trying her best to ignore the pain. Focusing on the muscles in her sphincter, she did her best to release the tension back there. "Alright sheriff, give me what you've got."

Hitch waited for another moment to allow her to adjust to his girth, before he began to push into her again. Slowly thrusting forward, doing his best to keep from causing too much pain to the pegasus. After a little while of going in at this pace, he finally was able to hilt inside of her, the entirety of his length buried in her rump.

Once he was inside, he began to rut her properly. Gently at first, but increasing in speed and power as her walls loosened around him, until at last he was pounding her rear end as hard as he could. Zipp was yelling and grunting with each thrust, doing her best to stay upright and not be overwhelmed by the stallion above her. There was still some pain for her, but she no longer cared in the least. She had never felt so dominated by a stallion, feeling completely at the mercy to the strength and vigor of the earth pony currently rutting her. The sensation of his cock pistoning in and out of her ass was completely new to her, and her mind was so focused on trying to process the feeling she was experiencing that she was unable to think about anything except for the pleasure of being taken and claimed.

Sunny and Izzy trotted over next to Pipp and sat next to the pegasus. Both their faces were soaked with cum, having successfully driven each other to climax. Now the three mares sat together to watch with hungry envy as they watched Zipp and Hitch fuck. They cheered and shouted encouragement to the rutting pair as they casually played with each other's bits. It was doubtful that Hitch or Zipp were even aware enough of their surroundings to notice, but a good audience still makes their appreciation for the show known. Besides, Pipp hoped the background noise would help earn her some upboops when she got around to posting the vid on Reddick.

Oblivious to their audience and their cheers, Hitch and Zipp continued to fuck with reckless abandon. Both ponies were quickly reaching their limit, and were doing their best to suppress their climaxes in order to make their rutting last longer. Hitch's hips were pounding against Zipp's rump, his balls slapping against her each time he thrust into her ass. Zipp was splayed on top of the table, tongue lolling out of her mouth as she was overwhelmed by the vicious pounding Hitch was giving her.

Eventually, the rutting couple were unable to hold back their pleasure. Zipp was the first to cum, screaming as her whole body spasming uncontrollably as marecum gushed out of her pussy. The feel of her body squeezing and shaking around his cock as he fucked her through her orgasm pushed Hitch over the edge. With a final grunt and thrust deep inside of her, he began to fire shot after shot of his cum into her bowels. He pulled out of her and fired one last shot across her back as the rest of his cum pooled out of her ass and onto the table. The stallion fell on top of Zipp's prone body and both ponies lay on the table in exhaustion.

A round of hoots and stomps came from across the room as Sunny, Izzy, and Pipp cheered the performance they'd borne witness to. Zipp and Hitch could only respond with an appreciative smile as they received their friends' adulation. Neither had the energy to stand up or move, so they settled with cuddling up and relaxing in a pool of their collected cum.

"See? Told you anal was fun!" Izzy proclaimed proudly to the group.

"Heck yes it was!" Pipp agreed. "Looks like my sister enjoyed it too, though you're gonna have to wait a bit to hear her admit it," she said, looking over at Zipp, who had passed out and was currently drooling beneath an equally unconscious Hitch on Izzy's table.

"Sorry about your table..." Sunny muttered as she watched the cum dripping off it and onto the floor.

"Pfft, don't worry about it," Izzy dismissed her concerns. "Not like it's the first time a mare's been fucked unconscious on that thing."

"So, I guess we're not going to be crystal hunting today, huh?" Pipp asked.

"Yeah... I don't think either of them are moving anytime soon," Sunny observed. "Plus, I think we could all use a bath before we head into town. I'm not sure us all walking into Bridlewood soaked in each other's cum would really help with the whole 'blending in' thing."

"You might be surprised," Izzy murmured.

"So, what to we do now, then?" Pipp questioned.

All three mares shared a look between them as they mused upon their next action.

"Lesbian three way?" suggested Sunny.

"Livestream us having sex on Ponehub?" Pipp offered at the same time.

"Make macaroni pictures?" Izzy chimed in simultaneously.

Pipp and Sunny both stared blankly at Izzy, who was smiling brightly back at them and practically bouncing in place. A long stretch of silence passed between them all. No pony said a word, until at last Sunny sighed in defeat.

"I'll go get the glitter," she mumbled.

And so they spent the rest of the night doing arts and crafts projects, until they all fell asleep.

The end.

Author's Note

Here's a fun game.
1. Open this video, preferably in multiple tabs with the sound desynched between them all.
2. Watch and listen to Izzy and friends shake their unicorn butts on loop.
3. Write a fic while you do this.

I don't know why I do this to myself, but this is what you get from it.

Also, one of these days I'm going to learn that writing sex scenes involving more than three characters is really tough. Sometimes I think I have some sort of extreme masochistic streak that only comes out when coming up with and writing story ideas. Or maybe it's some from of sadism directed at myself?

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the fic.