Fallout Equestria: Endless Horizon

Chapter 17: Haunted Feelings

Chapter 17: Haunted Feelings

Click.

Have to wonder if those asshole brothers knew how royally fucked we were gonna be when they cancelled construction on their stupid “Spell Safe Silo” bunker. After the town spent all that time and money on the construction, they just pause the project due to financial concerns!? It’s been 8 months! Those bastards took our bits and ran.

I hope the balefire burns those asshats alive. ‘Course they probably have their own private bunker to ride out the shit in. A bunch of folks are heading up to S3-B . Waste of time if you ask me. Survive the radiation long enough to starve to death or run out of air in a half-baked stable knock-off. Fuck that.

I’m gonna go sit on the roof. Have one last beer before the apocalypse kills me. Whatever comes next, it can’t be worse than this.

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I think everyone in the wasteland is running from something. Their past, themselves, or the world itself. The world was a miserable place, of course, and we all have our damage. So mine isn’t special. If no one else could spend time stressing over their childhoods, what right do I have? Sure, my mom was distant, and my parents both died when I was young, but I had a good life. I was fed, cared for, educated even! Scarlet was sold into slavery by her mother! Sky was forced to become an alicorn and serve an evil goddess, then suffer her death through secondhand telepathy. Free was raised in a militaristic society that indoctrinated its people into military service, and lost his leg!

Harmony said I had to work through my issues. Mine. But what about my friends? What about the rest of the wasteland that’s suffering!?! And I didn’t exactly have time to work on myself. I could get all the therapy I needed when my sister was safe. Why my people were cured. Until then I had to keep moving forward.

The factory was even more eerie on my own. My brain couldn’t help but conjure images of how it all looked before the end. Clean walls, well-kept floors, offices full of hard-working creatures. An excited colt bouncing through the halls as their parent shuffled them along on take your foal to work today, trying to quiet them as they passed a conference room full of well-dressed ponies disguising shipping logistics and income graphs. It was all gone. They were all gone. Either died from exposure shortly after the war or of natural causes sometime after in the off-brand stable. Knowing that didn’t stop me from hearing children laugh as they got to see the newest toy before anypony else, or Sans Smirk's monotone voice as he explained how popular the company would become.

I did my best to ignore my overactive imagination. I had to focus!

Of course, the endless sea of red blips on my compass didn’t help ease my discomfort either. My later generation of Pip solved the issue of EFS struggling when it came to buildings with stairs, adding little arrows on each tick to identify if it was above or below me. Unfortunately, if the blips were near one another, they became unreadable. Thank you, Stable-Tec.

I was searching the west wing floor by floor. It was mostly offices, with some private workshops and conference rooms mixed in. Each floor had the exact same layout, making my hunt through the mouldy, rot-scented building as tedious as it was dangerous. Several times I almost fell through sections of the floor no stronger than a few layers of cardboard. If I wasn’t so light on my hooves I would have gotten an express trip to the first floor, complete with fractured bones.

For all my efforts I had; a few stray caps, an audio recording I found in the little filly's room, and a growing sense of anxiety. Almost two hours without a single sign of life, then the second we’re split up the world becomes a wall of red. Like they were lying in wait until we were vulnerable. Skillful hunters waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike.

I shook off the dark thoughts. If that was the case, it was more reason to find my friends. It was likely that the markers were just radroaches getting out of the cold, but if some wasteland hunters were lurking they’d be hard-pressed to take on all three of us.

Finally, the recording playing in my ear came to an end. It was a good distraction from the scary, bone-chilling building, even if it was a sombre one. The mare on the tape was so quick to accept the end. Did she lose hope, or did she just accept the inevitable? If she knew that the ponies would survive for their descendants to build the mining town of Eden, would she have stayed anyway?

Would I?

The next room I tried wouldn’t open. I skipped the last few locked doors that blocked my way, but it felt like there was something moving behind that one. I narrowed my eyes at the door, but it didn’t yield under my piercing gaze. The lock didn’t find me daunting in the slightest. That was fine. I’m a smart mare. A brilliant engineer! Maybe I couldn’t get past a 200-year-old lock, but I had a tool that could!

Hurricane. It felt natural to rear up on my hooves as I drew the devastating weapon in my claws. Like the force of nature it was named for, normal construction was no match! The Novasurge rifle turned a large portion of the lock into peach-coloured slag.

I paused after the fourth shot and frowned. The plasma warped and slagged the deadbolt into a twisted glowing mess I still couldn’t open. All I’d done was make it impossible to unlock from my side. I knew it was a long shot, but I was still annoyed.

Click. Creeeck

Just like that, the locking mechanism clicked, and the door swung open. Did one of my wayward friends open it from the other side to let me through? But as my eyes adjusted to the gloom inside it wasn’t happy smiles that greeted me. A dozen cold dead eyes peered out through the darkness. For a pregnant second, we stared at each other. A hippogriff reared up with her rifle, versus six balefire blasted businessponies.

The nearest ghoul reacted first. It charged with a feral howl. A SATS-guided burst of plasma bore into its decayed mug. The scent of charred flesh and singed hair untied with pungent ghoul rot and bombard my senses. I ignored it as best I could and focused on the fight.

I wasn’t the same filly I was weeks before. I knew it was me or them. With a careful breath, I sent two more bolts at the unholy husks. My target howled and stumbled, its attempt to launch itself over the conference table between us thwarted by a shot to the shoulder. A pained shriek left its toothless muzzle as its foreleg melted away. My other shot went wide to turn a criminally outdated TV into a box of sparking metal.

One wounded, and one dead. That was the best I could do before I lost my advantage. The four zombies closed in fast. SATS was recharging. So I tossed Hurricane over my shoulder and ran. I couldn’t beat them up close, so I had to play to my strengths. With a bit of room to move, I could use my agility against them.

A strong flap of my wings carried me forward. With no way to fight at range, they had no chance! That is until a light figure reminded me most buildings weren’t made for flying by almost taking my head off. I let out a surprised caw and returned to the ground. Far safer to stay on all fours than risk flying into hanging objects.

I drew my trusty energy pistol and fired blindly behind me. Pained snarls met my shots. Despite at least one successful hit, they didn’t relent. They didn’t care about pain or obstacles. All that mattered was feeding their insatiable hunger. I could use that!

The next room I tried wouldn’t open. I skipped the last few locked doors that blocked my way, but I had a feeling there was something moving around behind that one. I narrowed my eyes at the door, but it didn’t yield under my piercing gaze. The lock didn’t find me daunting in the slightest. That was fine. I’m a smart mare. A brilliant engineer! Maybe I couldn’t get past a 200-year-old lock, but I had a tool that could!

Click. Creeeck

A strong flap of my wings carried me forward. With no way to fight at range, they had no chance of beating me in flight! That is until a light figure reminded me most buildings weren’t made for flying by almost taking my head off. I let out a surprised caw and returned to the ground. Far safer to stay on all fours than risk flying into hanging objects.

The running battle was an unfortunate reminder of how out of shape I still was. Every Mold tainted breath burned like fire. The hungry hoard pursued me tirelessly. I was sure the leader was on my tail. Preparing to pounce. I had to keep going. Push a bit harder. Run a bit further. I wasn’t a good shot. My body was far from athletic. But I was smarter than them.

Finally, I felt it: The decayed wood below groaned in protest. The water-logged floor sagged under me. Threatening to send me crashing through to the floors below. Perfect. I unfurled my wings and lept. The ghouls howled and whimpered as the floor came out from under them. They had no idea how weak water-logged flooring could be, or how to keep themselves from falling.

Just when I thought I was safe the wasteland sought to prove me wrong. A crippling weight slammed down on top of me. The full weight of a zombie pony settled on my back as its forelegs wrapped around my barrel. Bright pain flashed through me as cavity-ridden teeth sunk into my armoured shoulder.

The air was forced from my lungs as I was crushed between the rotten pony and the mouldy floor. My pistol flew from my grip. I was pinned. Beak to the bone-chilling floor as it tore away at my barding. My gun was out of reach, and I couldn’t strike at the feral beast with my talons.

The ghoul was smarter than most. Tired of chewing on leather padding it wound a new target. It sank its teeth into my neck and forced an ear-splitting shriek from my throat. Crimson gore stained my legs. I could hardly think through the pain as my vision blurred. The beast was going to eat me. It was eating me! While I was alive! Unconsciousness would come for me. Then I would die. Alone and unarmed.

Unarmed other than Hurricane, but it was slung across my back. A novasurge rifle… On my back. Pressed right into the ghoul's barrel. It was a terrible idea. Possibly the worst I ever had. The rifle could just as easily turn me into a puddle of ooze as the hungry ghoul, and I was not a lucky mare. Still, if I did nothing I’d die anyway.

Pft Pft Pft!

I didn’t need to rely on luck. There were three flashes from down the hall. Then it was over. The beast's head exploded like a rotten pumpkin. “Aella!” The sound of the weapon was familiar, but the concerned shout confirmed it. Sky found me just in time. But I wasn’t out of the woods yet.

I tried not to retch as Sky levitated the body off my back. As badly as my stomach wanted to empty itself, there were more important things to worry about. The angry red medical alerts screaming in my vision made it very clear. The neck wound didn’t hit the artery, but it was still bleeding profusely.

Sky pressed a hoof to my wound to stem the flow “You moron, trying to keep all the action to yourself… You know how much I love a good fight. Now look at ya… Getting yourself beat up when our medic is busy. Dammit, Captain…” Sky wouldn’t meet my eyes as he spoke, his ears laid back.

I giggled a bit and winced. “It’s ok you weren’t here, Sky. But apologies later, ok? Help me get patched up.” Sky helped me sit up, so we could tend to my wound. Though he was unconvinced we’d be able to.

Tense, terrifying moments like that are exactly why I take such good care of my equipment. So I can know they’ll take care of me. I thanked Applebloom for her inclusion of the inventory sorting spell as I had the trusty device to find everything I needed.

Sky levitated the supplies from my saddlebags out, and we got to work. Buck tablet. Chew. Med-x. Inject. Healing potion. Drink. Bandages. Wrap. No, tighter! There. Our work was rushed and foalish, but effective. The magical bandages helped close the wound, while the healing potion worked more deeply. It would get me back on all fours, and hopefully, have me wholly recovered within the next day or two.

Medical alerts faded one by one as I stabilized. All but the temperature warning. Haunting me with visions of a snowdrifted death. Aella-sicles served fresh for every ghoul and beast.

My dower thoughts were dispelled as I was wrapped in a soft blanket of purple feathers. “Here. You can steal some of my body heat while you catch your breath, alright?”

I nodded and nestled into his fur. The fight didn’t go perfectly, but I was fine. I was alive! I fought well! I may have needed help in the end, but I did it! I killed several, and outsmarted the rest! Sure I was sore and exhausted. The drugs and magic wouldn’t help with the fire in my chest or chill in my bones, but I would manage.

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We didn’t rest as long as I would have liked. Just long enough for me to stop shivering. When we found Scarlet, we could rest as long as we liked. And honestly, I felt fine! The drugs in my system lent me the energy to keep moving. When they wore off they’d leave me with a rough crash and a pained shoulder, but until then, I felt kinda good.

Other than the shadows dancing at the edge of my vision. The strange tricks of light started when we arrived but grew more common the longer I searched. The anxiety and self-loathing grew more aggressive as it tore at my insides. No matter how I forced them down and locked them away, they tunnelled through my mental blocks. It felt unnatural. Like something tugging at them. Feeding them. That wasn’t even the strangest thing about the factory.

“Haunted? Like… Like “haunted, haunted?” The buck couldn’t contain his laughter as we combed the building. We searched an entire floor in the time it took for me to explain my theory. “Captain, that sounds mad. And I spent most of my existence as part of an evil hive mind!”

A soft growl escaped my beak. I knew he wouldn’t believe me! Ponies were blessed with more magic than most other species, but they were always so quick to dismiss anything otherworldly or paranormal. Is enough to make a hen tear out her feathers! He saw first hoof how brilliant I am, yet he wouldn’t even consider the idea! It wasn’t fair. “Something is here, doing these things to us. Amplifying our emotions, and targeting our insecurities! At first, I thought it could be an enchantment or artifact. A relic from the war. But that door opened on its own! After I turned the doorknob to slag. I’ve felt something off about this place the entire time, and now it finally makes sense! What else could trap us like this!?”

The buck sighed and shook his head. “I… understand you believe this. I’ve seen some weird things in the wastes Aella, but this… No. I know you like to think you’re the smartest mare in the room, and I know how amazing your mind is. But you’re a child a heart. You haven’t seen the world like the rest of us. You’re probably just remembering some adventure book you read as a foal without realizing it. It being a weapon is a good idea, though. This was a toy and talisman factory, right?” I nodded confirmation. “So it wasn’t a ghost factory?” He laughed at his own pointed joke. That buck sure knew how to ruffle my feathers. Still, I couldn’t change his worldview with my theory or anything.

His attempt to defuse the tension with humour made me huff and flicked my mane in annoyance. Fine. Clearly, the conversation wasn’t going to get anywhere. There was no point in continuing it. “Let’s just find Scarlet before she freezes to death…”

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“How in the hell have we not found her yet? I swear it wasn’t this tall from the outside. This place better not have one of those stupid larger-on-the-inside enchantments or the stupid glamour charms that make stairwells feel larger than they are. Fucking magic.”

We were just making our way up to the next level as Midnight Skies' complaints reached a crescendo. That was par for the course as far as adventures go. Without anything to combat he’d grow bored and restless. But he did have a point. From what I could remember, the office building section of the factory was only three or four stories, but we searched at least six! I didn’t know the exact number, as at some point the floors stopped having proper signage.

I was so focused on covering as much ground as possible, I hadn’t realized how wrong it felt. The floors were exactly the same, the building was messing with us! “We’ve been going in circles… Come on!” I rushed past the alicorn, half running half gliding down the stairwell. We descended three floors before we ran out of stairs. Sky was right.

“If the fourth floor was some kind of funhouse illusion, where the hell is Scar!?” The alicorn was panicked as he Trotted back and forth across the stairwell. We wasted precious time searching for nothing.

I slapped the alicorn with a wing and cawed. “Sky, keep it together, please! I need your help right now. Scarlet needs your help!” I rested a talon on his chest to still him. “We need to go back. She has to be on the factory floor, or the cargo bay.”

The buck gritted his teeth and nickered. “You’re right… Dammit, and I slowed us down even more. Lead the way.”

We didn’t find Scarlet among the rusting machinery and spoiling chemicals of the factory floor, which we agreed was for the best. The older section of the facility had countless holes and cracks along the tall walls and the sunken ceiling, making it far colder than the rest of the building. The last place to check was the loading bay, where just hours before we were revolving in comradery and triumph. It dropped thirty degrees in that time. The rapid change was just a taste of the terrible fury nature could reap.

We found Scarlet hidden among the supplies of the rusty transport carriage in the loading bay. The poor mare was huddled in a mound of fabric as she shivered against the cold. The unconscious mare was cold to the touch and unresponsive, but alive.

It’s hard to put into words just what we were feeling in those terrifying moments. It was such a mundane, preventable way to die for a wastelander. One that would have been entirely our fault. Sky’s voice broke as he asked what to do in a panic. Free wasn’t there, but I knew a bit about treating hyperthermia.

“We need to get her back to her bedroll and warm her up slowly. Help me get her on your back.”

🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦

An hour later, Scarlet was recovering well in the warmth of Mr. Sandwich’s office. We laid her down on her bedroll, leaving it in the corner a bit away from the fire. Sky wanted to move her closer to the flames to warm her faster, but it felt like the wrong move to me. Later Free remarked that I did the right thing, as apparently warming someone too quickly can send them into shock. The charismatic mare was resting softly, her breathing and heart rate far more steady.

Unfortunately, emotions weren’t so easy to heal. Sky and Scarlet had grown close since he joined our mismatched crew, spending more time together. I was so distracted with my quest and my own projects, I hadn’t even noticed.

The buck sat on the stairs outside the office, looking out over the frigid, ruined factory floor. He hadn’t said much since we got Scarlet back in bed. Once he knew she’d be ok, he moved to sit outside alone. I followed him out shortly after.

“Hey.”

I understood he wanted to be alone. He needed time to think! I didn’t need green fur or a horn to know he regretted bringing up Scarlet's past! He was probably mulling over the mistake so he could be more careful in the future, or thinking of ways to make it up to her. Important, alone, self-reflection time.

But what alone time isn’t better with your friend there to talk to? Sometimes all you need is a persistent, annoying friend to help you step back and get perspective on things or talk things out. Or just to know someone had your flank.

"Annoying is certainly the right word…" Sky complained as he rubbed his head with a hoof. Damn telepathy. "I know you know I don't feel like being around anyone right now, Aella. I'm not the touchy, feeling type. Just keep an eye on Scar, or go do some 'ghost facing' or something."

"The novel is called Ghost Finders, and it's a classic. Second, we both know you're going to cave and tell me all about the emotions you're struggling with." I smirked and sat down next to him, nudging him with a wing.

The buck nickered and pushed my wing away with his own, side-eyeing me. "We both know that, do we? What exactly would bring us to that conclusion?"

"Simple: The longer you don't talk to me, the longer I'll continue to bother you. The sooner you yield and chat, the sooner I'm out of your mane.”

I crossed my arms and smirked as the stallion narrowed his eyes at me, defeated. The buck released a long, exhausted sigh. "Fine… but if your thoughts weren't always so fast and all over the place, I would have won that conversation.

"Midnight Sky, not everything is a challenge or a fight. I don't see it as winning or losing, I just wanted to make sure you're ok."

“...You make no sense, Captain." The buck's voice softened as he looked out across the factory. " You throw yourself into danger to help others, even when it scares the piss out of you. You see so much beauty in the world, but all it ever does is steal the air from under you and knock you around. Days of hearing your thoughts, and you still manage to surprise and impress me in such unexpected ways."

"I… thank you? I think?" I had no idea if he was complimenting me or not, but I didn't know how else to respond either.

"Why aren't you upset with me? If someone said those things to me, they'd get a black eye for it. You don't even seem to care! You were so upset by what I said in the moment, and I felt so… satisfied. I wanted my words to hurt you! I'm sorry… it annoys the shit out of me that you aren't pissed, and I'm sorry for how I acted.

I smiled and gave the brooding buck a nuzzle. “I forgive you, which you already know. We all make mistakes sometimes, and we all have things we regret. Trust me, my list is well thought out, and in alphabetical order. Also, none of us have been quite ourselves today.

“As for Scarlet? I’m sure it’ll be fine. It may take some time, but I know she’ll forgive you. Just start with an apology, and go from there.”

“Even if she does, I don’t know if I can forgive myself.” Sky rested his head on the cold metal of the railing and released a long sigh. “I swore I’d never expose someone's true thoughts. This was so much worse! I betrayed Scarlet's trust and weaponized your and her thoughts to try and hurt you. I betrayed myself. That’s why I want to be alone with my thoughts. I deserve to feel this way. I hate myself right now. ”

“That’s perfectly ok.”

The Alicorn wore an uncharacteristically confused expression as he finally met my gaze like he was struggling to find the meaning behind my words. He probably expected me to tell him that none of it was his fault, or that he shouldn’t feel that way toward himself. Validating the feeling was not what the pony expected to hear, from my beak or my brain.

“I understand it… At least a little. The guilt, the uncertainty, and the self-loathing that creeps in with it. Those are normal things to be feeling, and they’re things you need to feel. So, it’s ok. I don’t think anyone deserves to feel bad, but I think feeling bad is part of how we make ourselves better. We let the feeling remind us of our mistakes, and push us to grow.

“I have no idea if the hurting ever goes away. I sort of hope it doesn’t… But whatever happens, you have friends to help you through it. You don’t need to be alone.”

The alicorn was stunned into silence for several long seconds before a powerful, somewhat sad laugh flowed from his muzzle. “I had no idea you could be this… emotionally mature. It’s pretty decent advice.

“I understand… I know what it can be like. The guilt, the uncertainty, the self-loathing. You did something in the heat of the moment that went against everything you want to be, and it hurt. It may never stop hurting… We may just be stuck with this terrible feeling for the rest of our lives, but at least it’ll always be there to remind us to do better next time. And whatever happens, you have friends to get you through it.”

“Aella… I appreciate you coming out here. You gave me a lot to think about. You know you have friends, too, right? Friends who won’t judge you if you need to get something off your back. We all know you’ve been dealing with a lot in the wasteland, not to mention-

“I don’t wanna talk about it. Right now I’m just worried about you two. I promise that I’ll talk to all of you if I need to, but right now I’m handling it all fine. For now, I just need to keep my friends safe and save my people. I’m tired. It’s been a long day.”

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I felt better than I have in weeks. Years, even. The constant ache of overused muscles and half-healed wounds from wasteland survival were gone, along with the loneliness and shame that constantly undermined me back home. No regret or guilt, no heavy burden laid across my back. The worst parts of my life were gone, leaving me with an odd feeling of serenity.

Even the discoloration from the burn scars on my chest and flank vanished. I stretched my wings out to catch the sun, enjoying the warm breeze rushing across my well-groomed feathers.

Most breathtaking was the view. From the foothill where I sat, I saw it all. My home. Not the dying world I was raised in, but the Mt. Aris I saw in textbooks and read about in novels. Lush green fields lead to the foot of the mountain. Beautiful azure rivers ran from the mountain peaks to the endless sparkling ocean.

It was all accented by a beautiful, sprawling village near the top of the mountain, decorated by the fourth wonder of the world. The beautiful stonework of the winged citadel wrapped around the hippogriff city protectively, like a mother with her egg. Cresting it was the tower of Vetera, built to honour the oldest known hippogriff king and house the gateway to Seaquestria. The oldest structure on the planet, filled with our people's history and theology inscribed on tablets and the very walls themselves in our runes. The first written language, a gift from the spirits beyond.

Of course, none of that mattered now.

Brilliant lights of every colour flared on the horizon. Bursts of malevolent magic of such power, the mountain itself was stricken with fear. Tidal waves and endless storms descended on the zebra lands, as across the planet balefire and pink cloud devoured the ponies of Equestria.

Decades passed in seconds. My home grew and prospered at an impossible rate before my eyes. Cities expanded. Rockets flew to space. Then the delicate balance shifted. A sick crimson haze settled over the land, poisoning the animals and creatures alike. Houses were left to be reclaimed by nature as the survivors fell to disease and starvation. Civil unrest grew, as creatures rioted in the streets to take what little was left from each other.

Eventually, order returned, and small pockets of civilization returned. The survivors were wise and resilient but fearful of anything that may tip the scales of survival again.

The world I yearned for melted into the terror of the present as a blue and purple mare I hardly recognized anymore soared toward the ocean, so full of anxiety and sorrow I could hardly stand it. Her wings moved in slow motion, forcing me to relive the nightmare-like flood of anxiety and sorrow that past Aella felt. The day I abandoned my team.

The mistake I made was more clear than ever. A stain on my soul I feared would never wipe away. I made the biggest mistake of my life, and then… when it was time for me to answer for it I ran away. Like a coward.

What was even the point? When the repossession team returned, their reports would say it all. Sure, the council would be lenient given my past, and my technical ability, but that didn’t matter. Being banished to the moon couldn’t compare to how I felt. I betrayed everything I believed in. I was a blasphemer. A Proditor. A stain on my family's bloodline. I’d be more of an outcast than ever. The knowing, hateful looks from others would follow me forever… I’d be better off fleeing into the ocean to live with the sirens or running off to the zebra lands to work as a mechanic. My life was over.

I murdered someone.

“It’s nice to know I’m not the only creature haunted by mistakes. I’d much rather you weren’t though.” My wings unfurled in preparation as I chirped in surprise, prepared to flee from… an orange pony with a weird fashion sense and unrealistically floofy hair? His weirdly tall hat and fancy neckerchief certainly didn’t scream ‘evil raider who wants to bathe in your blood,’ and his presence didn’t feel hostile in the least. I eyed him with suspicion and confusion as I folded my wings against my back. If the stranger noticed me nearly jump out of my skin it didn’t show.

“I used to do everything I could to put a smile on a sad filly’s face like yours, Aella. Parties and gags, jokes, even just sitting down and talking with them like we are right now. It was a brighter, more magical time. Before the world ate itself out of fear and greed. I’m sure I can help you find your smile.”

“W-wait, who are you? What are you doing here? You weren’t here… This isn’t what happened!” I was having a nightmare of that day, again… But I’d had that nightmare half a dozen times, and there was never an orange earth pony in it! Why was the dream different? And why some random pony I’d never met!? None of it made any sense!

The pony sighed and wrapped a hoof around me, pulling me into a tight hug, comforting hug. The kind of embrace that makes you feel protected and fared for, wordlessly promising that it would be ok. The pony hugged me just long enough for me to calm down before releasing his grip.

The buck sat back with a sigh, beaming as he looked out at the ruined landscape. The smile was happy. Like, ‘it’s my wedding day’ happy or ‘getting the job of my dreams’ happy. But the smile didn’t reach his eyes. They were tired and empty, betraying a painful trauma I couldn’t even hope to guess.

“I’m Cheese Sandwich, super duper party pony, and owner of the Amusement Factory! Or I was before the world went crazy!” Cheese pointed his hoof at his head and made a somewhat distasteful circling gesture with it. “Then we blew it up!” Cheese Sandwich, the very buck whose office I’d gone to sleep in… was derailing my dream. And being uncomfortably chipper about the Deluge of Arcana while he was at it. That did seem on brand for him… Apparently, my discomfort showed on my face.

“Sorry about that… All I ever wanted was to make people smile. But my factory made far more frowns than smiles in the end.”

“You didn’t destroy the world, Mr. …Sandwich. No one person could. It’s clear from walking through your factory how much you loved to make ponies happy! The ministries made you build targeting talisman for them. It isn’t your fault.”

The energetic buck nickered as his hair got noticeably less floofy. His tone shifted from light and excited, to serious and low. “I could have done more to stop it. I could have asked Pinkie Pie to exempt my company, but after what happened between us… I didn’t know how to talk to her.” His gaze grew distant and his smile faded. “It was somehow easier to betray my own ideals and work to keep the Equestrian war machine turning. I lost everything to the war… Her, and myself.

“Still, I know you’re right. I’ve had 200 years to think about it. If my company hadn’t made the talisman for war, others would have. It all still would have ended. The plus side of my guilt is we got to meet. Now I can tell you that it isn’t your fault, and you can’t carry this pain forever. You need to stop hiding from your feelings so you can accept what happened and move on. We both need to forgive ourselves.”

Tears stung my eyes as I focused on the clouds lazily drifting along the horizon as I wrapped my wings around myself. “I know. I understand that, now. But it hurts so much… like the feelings could burn me from the inside! Besides, it isn’t like with you. I did what I did. I rushed into a fight against orders because I wanted to prove to everyone that I wasn’t as useless and awkward as everyone thought.”

It was the first time I let myself sit and think about it since it happened. My heart burned and my skin crawled. Guilt, pain, anger, and self-pity threatened to tear me apart… but they didn’t. Having the strange dream version of Cheese Sandwich there to talk with helped. Talking with him made emotions sit just a little less heavy in my heart. With a sniffle and gasping, shuttering breath I continued. “I was so lost in the moment, and when someone came up behind me… I slashed his throat. I didn’t even think! He wanted to know I was ok, and-”

“Shh… That’s enough.” The sandwich pony wrapped his hooves around me and pulled me close, holding me as tears streamed from my eyes. “You want to be the strong one. The one who protects everyone, makes the hard choices and carries everyone's burdens without seeming phased. But you aren’t. Sometimes you cry, and you need help, and that’s ok too. It will hurt to face, but you won’t be doing it alone. Midnight Skies was right, you need to trust your friends.”

The party pony passed me some tissues, allowing me a moment to calm down and compose myself. He released me from his embrace once my face was dry of tears. His smile was back, as was his insanely floofy, orange hair. All seriousness evaporated instantly, his voice returned to its wacky, light-hearted inflection. “Anyway, you aren’t here for all of that!” The party pony grinned as his mane floofed out once again. He sat a hoof on my shoulder. “I didn’t mean to cause you and your friends so much trouble! It’s just I’ve been here for so long waiting for someone who could hear me. I couldn’t let you leave before I could ask for your help.”

“I can hear you just fi… Wait… Oh spirits this isn’t a dream. I mean, this is a dream, but you aren’t a part of this dream! You’re real, and in my dream! So, so I was right? This place is haunted! So you, you’re the ghost haunting this place? He nodded sadly.

It all made sense. He lost his sense of self in that factory. He died, in a sense. When his body died, something dragged his soul back to it. Trapped in the living world. “I’m sorry… All I know about ghosts I learned from stories. I don’t know what to do. I didn’t even know you could reach out to me!”

Cheese gave me a knowing smile. “I think you do.” He waved his hoof above the half-dead grass between us, somehow making something appear on the ground. “Do you like music? Pinkies friend Rainbow Dash said griffs had the best music.”

It was the ocean flute from his office, expertly crafted from a screw shell and adorned with beautiful, complex rune work. I did know… Music. A funeral song, like what the Elders and Prestesss’ performed at Karma’s funeral. Like I sang at June Berry’s, Karma’s mother's funeral.

I smiled and took the delicate instrument in my claws, taking a moment to admire it before responding. “Y-yeah… I like music. My sister and I would… We’d sing together. I was always off-key, but Aqua had such a nice voice.”

“Had?” Cheese frowned at me.

“She had a breathing thing… Cystic Fibrosis. Her lungs failed, and she had an operation.
she has robotic ones now that keep her alive, but I’ve never heard her sing with them. I’m not sure if she can’t, or if she doesn’t. I get it, though. I haven’t felt like singing in a long time either.”

I rested a wing on the party ponies back and smiled. “I’m no priestess, or elder, or… anything, but I’ll try and do this for you. Maybe a funeral song, and someone to confess to will be enough for you to pass on. Make sure to see your Pinkie Pie again, And if you see my mom, tell her…” I gripped the flute more tightly. “I don’t know… I just hope she’s finally proud of me.”

“Bet your flank, I will! Thanks for your help, Aella. Oh, and there’s some stuff in my safe you’ll need for your next adventure. Passcode is 3-10-4-12. Important numbers for Pinkie and me. Take the flute too. I can’t use it, anyway!” The buck laughed.

“Of course. Thank you so much, Cheese. Thank you for speaking with me. And sitting with me. You helped me more than I can even say.”

The buck smiled brighter and tilted his hat to me. “It was enough just to make someone smile again, Aella.”

I lifted the flute to my beak and took a long breath. “Let’s get you home.”

🐦🐦🐦🐦🐦

When I woke, the haunting presence of the building was gone. None of us felt out of sorts like we did before, and none of the doors tried to keep us in the factory. It felt strange. I never considered myself spiritually connected. I preferred to lose myself in books or connect with the world through technology. I discovered this part of me I hadn’t realized I had, but had no one to share it with.

My friends still didn’t believe me when I told them about my dream. Even when I knew the code to the safe, they reasoned I saw it somewhere in the building looking for Scarlet and was too tired to process it normally. At least Axel believed me! He was excited to hear about my extra-sensory experience and was glad someone finally put an end to that poor souls suffering.

Free was excited for an entirely different reason. We arrived at Axel Grease’s workshop to find the pegasus trotting laps around the living area, getting a feel for his new leg. It was bulkier than his ill-fitting cybernetic, and he had to get used to walking on a prosthetic without all the fancy servos and electronics, but the buck didn’t care. He could move around without constant pain in his stub, and that was all that mattered. He also noted that the more solid build would handle the harsh wasteland a lot better, which was true. Axel did great work.

The donkey made sure to show me the basics of maintaining and repairing the prosthetic before he let us leave, and even gave me a book and prosthetic and cybernetic equipment! I returned the favour by sharing some engineering tricks of my own. The buck was more experienced with mechanical systems than arcano-tech, so I had plenty of pointers!

Free spent most of that time fussing over Scarlet, making sure she was recovering well from her hypothermia, and giving Sky and me a talking-to for allowing it to happen in the first place. It was a great way to spend the morning, especially after the hellish time we had.

Sky and Scarlet didn’t speak much, which wasn’t surprising. It would be a while before the tension between them loosened enough for them to get back to normal. Scarlet at least didn’t seem upset or angry about what happened, though she did seem more… reserved. I think she felt bad about how she ran off, knowing how dangerous it was. We all felt pretty stupid about how we acted, after all.

It was almost noon when Scarlet finally put her hoof down about needing to leave. Reasonably I knew the unicorn was right, but it was still hard for me to drag myself away from talking shop with Axel for another exhausting, probably dangerous wasteland adventure. But we were close. Just a day or two away from the medicine that would save my people, and who knew how many others.

Footnotes:
Welcome to level 15!

Perk added: Frostless Feather! Your form has grown more resistant to the cold than ever before! Gain +1 Endurance while in cold climates, and gain increased resistance to ice-based attacks

Item added: Ritual Flute! The late Cheese Sandwich's finely crafted hippogriff flute is yours! Stars hope you won't need it anytime, soon...

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