An Outcast's Realistic Perspective

The captain had left me alone after some minutes of starring at the slowly disappearing land of Equestria. I stood there leaning on the wooden edge of the ship and looking out as the darkness slowly took over and the day had turned to night. I can hear motion and orders being given out, and yet no one had bothered me or even called me. I guess they either do not know what work to give me or they are possibly too intimidated to approach me. It did not matter to me either way at the moment as my mind has turned to thoughts about today’s events.

It was either the lack of sleep or the lack of proper nutrition that has made my judgment rather poor lately. If I am trying to avoid being caught by a ruler who has almost cult like followers as her subjects, then walking in to a populated area for any reason at all was doing the exact opposite of that. I could have done everything differently than what I have. I could have just stowed away on the boat at night and dealt with whatever happened later, or I could have just not gone to the bath house and stayed on the ship. I still smell bad so who gives a shit if I washed myself before I put on dirty clothes again. This always happens, I think everything through carefully and then later on I find something wrong with it. I either missed something, I didn’t see it coming or I later find something that could have been done differently. Well, at least it is over and I didn’t get caught. Someone had to have heard of me or wise up when I was walking through the street. Me being seen by the locals guarantees that somehow someone will bring up the news and Celestia will figure it out or maybe not. I cannot tell the difference between logical deductive reasoning and paranoid delusional thoughts anymore.

The temperature is rather worm outside even though it should be fall by now. I counted the days since the first week up to my first month. I stopped after that because there did not seem to be any point in doing it. All those holidays and birthdays seem to mean nothing now that I am in a different world. What is the point of celebrating a holiday that does not exist in this world or a birthday that no one will ever remember? Having a reminder of these things would serve me no purpose, if it were not for my family than I would probably not have bothered in celebrating anything. Seasonal changes should be evident by the temperatures and changes in climate. Counting the number of years is just not appealing enough for me to be bothered with yet. I keep track of the weeks passing so I know how much time I have spent here. It is interesting for me to see how fast time seems to fly by. One day you are young and free without a care in the world, and the next you are in fucking cartoon world that can kill you. That is just weird and wrong in so many ways.

Although the weather seems to be warm, my hair is still wet from the washing and I don’t want to catch a cold. It would suck for me to be sick on this ship and have to work. Wait, if I get sick then where the hell am I supposed to go to get better? The hospitals on this world know nothing of human diseases, anatomy or physiology. One small pill that they give to their kids could potentially kill me; anything that they have as medicine could kill me! If I get sick with something serious than I have nowhere to go and no one to turn to. I will suffer slowly and then I am going to die. Fuck! Zecora’s recipes are great for small ailments like headaches and wounds, however I do not think that they will be very effective against something that needs surgery. My paranoia is having field day with this. God I hate my life.
Not wanting to get sick I turn around and go to the ship’s deck. The sails were fully erect with the wind blowing at them and propelling us. The remaining griffins looked like they were checking over the knots, sails and other parts of the ship. The rest were probably bellow, where I would go to and start the awkward session of having them stare at me in silence or with a multitude of questions. Great, now I have something to look forward to. Going down the stairs and turning to the door I take hold of the door knob and stop. Looking at the door, I have come to realization that did not occur to me when I first came to it in the morning. If the majority of the world’s living creatures are quadrupeds that barely reach up to my waist, then why were the doors made the perfect height for humans? Seriously, the griffins walk on all fours all the time and ponies are smaller than them, why are the doors made to be so tall? Even in Ponyville the doors were bigger than me. I am not even complaining about door knobs, it is too easy to say something about it. Fuck it, this is a world made by five year olds. Duh, I am in a cartoon for little kids, no shit there is going to be a lot of things that make no sense. I don’t know why I still bother with thinking about this crap.

Opening the door and going through, I notice that there is light coming from the captain’s room. I have some questions that maybe he can answer. Coming up to the door, I don’t bother knocking anymore because now that I am on the ship I don’t have to play the role of the poor wretch with no other choice but to beg for a ride. Walking in the captain was still seated at his table with papers spread around him and the quill still in his claw. Wow, paperwork sucks no matter where you are. It looks like he was writing for a long time even though I saw him like a few minutes ago. The quill looks really warn out, there are ink blots on most of the papers and some of it on his claws. His writing looked like squiggly lines from the door; I should be able to read the words from this short distance. The writing would still be illegible to me though. The captain looked up from his writing with a tired look.

“Sorry to bother you, I have some questions if you don’t mind.”

“I’m kinda busy, but I guess I can take a break.” He was rubbing the space between his eyes with his left claw as he said it. “You should go get some rest while you can, we start work soon.”

“Alright, first question. Why did we set sail in the evening and not in the morning?” I don’t know anything about sailing, but I do think that it is better to set sail in the morning to have a clear view of direction and to catch the winds. Maybe I am wrong, I do know that star navigation is utilized even in the modern day if the tech fails for some reason. But that does not make sense, the guy should know the directions and have travel routs memorized.

“Doesn’t really matter what time we set sail, we are good on schedule and we can spare a day or two if need to. But I’m pretty sure that the crew would like to get home sooner.” That explains the working at night part. The sooner we get there the better or everyone.

“Do they all come from Avias city?” Even if it’s a bird pun the name is not half bad.

“Some of them do, were goanna dock there for a week, have a new shift of workers come in and then back to work again.” Now I know the future plans of this ship, this will give me some time to think through my next move. Now it’s time to figure out where exactly I am in regards to the show, throughout my whole time here I did not know in what time or episode I am in. Zecora had very little interaction with the ponies, so her knowledge of events is almost nonexistent. The few times that the ponies or the cutie mark cru… (god I can’t even think those words out) have visited her, they rarely talked about their adventures except for the CMC who have adventures every day. I don’t even know what season I might be in, or if the show was even relevant to their lives. For all I know, the show might have just been making up the adventures and using the characters as a means of telling it. I know that I am at least past the first episode because the main characters have already met.

“Have you heard of anything happening in Ponyville lately? Maybe an Ursa Minor attack, an old spirit of chaos making a return, a wedding, changelings?

The captain had a confused look on his face, like I just asked the weirdest question or something.

“Well I never heard of a Ponyville before, is it some small village?”

A village? It is in the god damned name! I am not too surprised that he does not know about it, small villages don’t really get much recognition unless they have some great quality to them. I thought that Sweet Apple Acres would be known, I guess it is just a local farm that gets through the years with its sales. The farm is not rich after all. He should have at least heard of it, that was where the sun celebration happened that Nightmare Moon crashed, Discord had a field day there and Spike had a Godzilla moment there. Come on, this is news worthy stuff here.

“Yes, it is a small town near Canterlot.”

“Oh yeah! That’s the place where Princess Luna came to after her thousand years of banishment. I don’t know anything about any Ursa attacking, and a… spirit of chaos? What?” He had confused look on his face as he moved to the subject of Discord.

Ok, I can understand him not knowing about Discord. The ponies did not know anything about him until old sun ass told them. And his so called reign of chaos lasted only a day. God of chaos my ass! True chaos cannot be contained in stone or anything else, it is a law. He was actually my favorite character, hell he was the reason I even found the show. Never really thought about what a shity god he is, losing to six talking barnyard animals is a MAJOR low point for a god. What the hell is the point of having reality manipulating powers if you don’t use them?!

“Never mind. What about Canterlot? Was there a royal wedding lately? Anything involving changelings? Maybe something about a Chrystal kingdom?” Give me something to work with here, where am I in the shows chronology?

“Ok. I heard there was some wedding about a month ago. It was attacked by some swarm of pony like black insects or something. I think they were called changelings, I’m not sure. I never heard of any Chrystal kingdom in Equestria or anywhere else really.”

Apparently I am past the second season by about a month here. I came into this world earlier than the show ended back home and the show ended almost six months ago adding in the two and a half months spent here. So I arrived before the wedding and probably an episode or two before the finale. He does not know about the Chrystal kingdom, I thought that it was a small part of Equestria that Cadance and Shiny governs but is still under the rule of the two princesses. So how will it come up in the third season? Is Cadance going to make her own kingdom or something? Or maybe the show is relevant in the sense that it happens as the writers come up with it? Whatever, I am not in Equestria anymore so who cares what happens there.

“When are we going to arrive to Avias?” Might as well know how long this trip is going to be and maybe try and figure something out for the future.

“If everything goes right, then we should make it in three days.” I have three or more days for me to figure something out, not too bad. Not time for some experiments.

“Would you have any spare piece of paper that I could use?”

“I don’t know, let me check” He started rumeging through the papers on his desk. Picking some papers up, looking them over and then setting them down. Then he opened his drawers and started going through them. He pulled out one decent sheet of paper, looked it over from both sides for any writing and then outstretched his arm to hand it to me.

“What do you need it for?” Everyone here is too curious for their own good. There is no point in telling him that I am going to try something and probably waste it.

“To write a letter.” The paper felt real in my fingers even if it looked fake and somewhat slightly grayish. The papers on his desk were mostly parchment scrolls which I guess were meant for documents and important paperwork. That is probably normal except that there is not a lot of need for that. Plain paper is actually better than scrolls just because of their practicality. They have regular mail envelopes and all that, so then why does Twilight use scrolls all the time? Then again this is monarchy ruled lands, so the classics still hold true. That’s probably not even parchment because if I recall correctly it would be made from dry animal skins. Most likely papyrus or something similar. There is no point in asking him about it, it is not like it makes any difference to me.

“Then you’re probably going to need some ink and quill. I don’t k now if I can spare any…” He was rummaging through his table drawers again as he said it.

“It is fine, I have something to write with.”

“I can maybe find a pencil for you.” At least they have pencils, maybe I can draw something later to pass the time.

“Really, it is fine. Thank you.”

“If that’s all then I should really get back to my work. And you should go get some sleep or you will be too tired to do anything.” He is right, I don’t know what work waits for me and I should get some rest. Although something tells me that there might not be any sleep for me tonight.

“Thank you for your time. You should get some rest yourself.”

“I would if I could, but this pile of forms and letters aren’t going to write themselves.” His words came out with a smile as though the idea of going to rest now is humorous to him. Paperwork really sucks.

Leaving the captains room, I turn to the stairs and go down to the main barracks. I can hear the sound of talking before I even reach the door, it seems that nobody is sleeping yet. Before entering, I stop to collect my thoughts and prepare myself for what might happen next. In real life, there are many ways in which something like this situation could play out. It could be fine and no issue would arise, if only life were that easy. From their point of view I am the oddity that none of them has ever seen before. It is inevitable that I would receive stares as though I were some new exhibition in a zoo. I might me barraged with questions to which I would most likely have to lie. Their curiosity is understandable as I know that I would be in their position. I might be met with prejudice or some other reaction, possibly fear. Then again my paranoia might be making this into a bigger issue than it is. That and I do not see why I should care what anybody thinks of me, three days and I am gone.

From what I can understand based of the cartoon, everyone in this world is openly trusting, open to being befriended eventually and offer a chance at it. It was as if they were never exposed to treachery, deceit and real betrayal. They were like a young child’s idea of what an adult is. My first interaction with the ponies, the captain and the old bath house lady were evidence that it might hold true. However, the main characters and the sun cow were the opposite of that. I continue to ponder on that out of character behavior from time to time. (They were exactly like in the show until she came and spoke her warnings about me.) Regardless, I assume nothing about anything and I have nowhere better to go.

I open the door and walk into the barracks, noticing the details of the surroundings through my peripheral. The room was lighted from what looked like gas lamps on the ceiling that were not there when I first came here, seriously where the hell did that come from? The majority of the griffins were in their beds, there were two groups in different parts of the room seated around some of the beds and looking like they were playing cards and talking. Some of the griffins were simply resting in their beds, there is one in a top bunk in the closer right side of the room who is reading a magazine and there is one who is standing over the bed of another and looking in at a newspaper that one of them was reading. Their coat and feather colors were interesting as they were not natural in comparison to my world. Many of them were a variation of the brown and blond, two I thing were dark green and there was a blue one there too. I guess they are like ponies, colored in by a kindergartener who was color blind and never seen what animals look like except in cartoon pictures. This really getting stupid, what other messed up colors do these poor bastards have. This world has hair dye, use it!

The ones in bed didn’t pay attention to anything as most were either sleeping or too occupied with talking. Some of the griffins that noticed me were simply looking at me curiously and some looked over whatever they were doing and went right back into it without any interest in me. Overall I did not seem to change the mood in the room to much, a decent reaction considering it could have gone worse. The griffin who led me to the bath house most likely told everyone about me and some of them had to see me on the deck when she ship was setting sail.

I walk up to my bed and climb onto to the top bunk, my backpack remains undisturbed as I have left it. My shoes are not visibly dirty, they are however worn out from being constantly worn for two straight months. I do not want to have to sleep in them if I can, however taking them off would not be very appealing for the others whit whom I will be sharing a room. I do not want to antagonize them without a good reason, so I am going to have to do a little more acting then I would like to. The bed feels comfortable as I sit up and lean on the side of the support beam. I am still wearing my jacket and hood to hide some part of me from their eyes, and I can feel their stares from behind and around me. Wearing the same clothes for so long can make anyone feel uncomfortable after some time. This jacket is comfortable by itself and practical for the situation I find my life in. However, the black color is slowly losing its luster and beginning to have signs of aging, it smells of dried old sweat and forest grime and it can only be worn so long before I find myself wishing I had something else to wear. The black shirt underneath is in no better condition. It smells, it is ripped and when it will get colder I will not be able to protect myself properly from the weather. I actually like cold weather and enjoy the winter season. However, having a high tolerance for cold does not mean that I cannot get sick, it might be worse because I don’t necessarily feel it when the weather could reach dangerous temperatures. New York weather was really screwed up within the last few years. Global warming, what more proof do you need when people are walking around in shirts and shorts in October?

The heat of wearing a jacket indoors is annoying me, might as well take the jacket off. It feels nice to have my arms free of cloth for the second time today. If there were any sounds of surprise or gasps I did not pay attention to them. My hair is free to fall on my shoulders and back being slightly damp, should dry soon. Folding the jacket and placing it near my makeshift bag, I close my eyes still seated and take in the sounds. The ocean can be faintly heard from behind the side of the ship, the talk of the crew was slightly quieter but not relenting. I can hear their talks of their card game, the food they and some of it regarding me. The long hair made some of them assume me to be a female. Not the first time in my life that my long hair had caused me to be in to some less than pleasant situations. I have my mother’s face and with long hair my features become slightly androgynous and the issue with my voice makes it sometimes worse. Regardless I don’t want to cut it and nor do I have any rubber bands, so I have to deal with it. It still is annoying as hell to be confused sometimes for a different gender.

The talk about me had died down as their interest was lost, good for me. Sitting on the bed, I thing about how I am in a room full of griffins. I really prefer solitude over crowds of people; this is obviously not a crowd, however I still want to be alone. At least they are courteous enough to not bother me now or not interested enough, I am fine either way. The topic of me being alone always frightened my mother and grandmother. Mom wanted to have at least two children, she was an only child herself and she said that she knows how horrible it is to be alone. However, things do not always go as one whishes and my mother ended up with just me. My family wanted me to go out more with friends, find new and better friends, to get myself a girlfriend. Hell my own mother told me that I need to get laid. We always had this openness with each other and so conversations were easier with them then most people would have with their parents. They never understood my desire to be alone, they always thought it was because of my last girl friend breaking up with me. The truth is I never really had much in common between us and when we broke up it did not really change anything for me. Parent being parents, they think they know best and yet forget their own mistakes of youth. Their hypocrisy never ends to annoy me. All that open talk didn’t help much as they were certain that my desire of solitude was some kind of complex, a phase or my depression acting up. I did not bother in trying to explain anything anymore as I find that they were certain that they were right and I was wrong. At least I listened to what they had to say, I was not given the same courtesy or if they did listen than it was not evident in their conversations.

How good it is to be left alone without being annoyed by every minor thing that comes up. I used to hate having a cell phone because they would call me constantly to ask me the same questions that have the same answers. And then they expect me to call back and do the same. We see each other at the end of the day, so what is the point of having to call them at all? It is not like they don’t see me for weeks. I understand that they are my family and that they care for me, however that caring is sometimes really annoying. They get emotional and unreasonable with their demands, always having an issue when there should be none. I do not do anything to bother them; in fact I go out of my way to not bother or to be bothered. People need a break from each other from time to time, except that now the break seems to be permanent. Why could we have just gotten along when we had the time, it could have all been different. Sadly this issue was around long before I was born, longer than my mother even.

Slowly the conversations died down and everyone had started to go to their own beds. I open my eyes and see how everyone began to go to sleep and rest. One griffin was walking up to my bunk bed, most likely he sleeps in the bed beneath me. His lion body is light brown, his head and feathers were white, he has grey eye shadows and the feathers on his head were stylized in a rather modern hairstyle with the tips colored slightly red. His eyes were yellow like eagle eyes should be. Overall the guy was one of the most normal looking of them all or at least as far as normal goes in this place. He looked up at me and noticed I was looking at him. His expression became nervous and he smiled at me sheepishly.

“Hi! I guess were gonna share a bunk bed huh?” He has a young voice, probably somewhere around twenty. He is nervous and yet he did not stumble or break eye contact as he spoke with me, that gets him points.

“Yes, we will. Good night.”

“Goodnight!” He seemed more at ease after I spoke, probably worried I would be jerk or something.

The lights was slowly dimmed and then turned off completely. I can see through the darkness clearly and make out all the details of the room. The night in this world was never dark enough for me like back home, part of the problem why I could not sleep in the first month. The sounds of breathing, light snoring and the ocean water was all that could be heard in the room. I am left to my thoughts again as I consider trying to go to sleep. My jeans are comfortable, however sleeping in them is not. The temperature in the room is worm and will guarantee that I will sweat at night. I already know that it will be difficult for me to fall asleep tonight, I don’t even feel tired yet.

Sitting on the bed in the dark is not doing me any good. My hair is dry and some fresh air would do me well to help with my insomnia, there is no way that it will stop from just one good night sleep. I do not trust the sleeping griffins enough to leave my jacket in the same room with them. Placing my jacked over my shoulders, I slowly get down onto the wooden floor of the room and quietly make my way to the door. My feet make no sound as I walk, which again I have to question because the floor was plain wood with no carpet or rug to protect it from feet (claws I this case.) Going through the door and gently closing it without any sound from the hinges. In the unlit hallway I notice that there are two more doors. Opening the closest one, I see that inside there are mops, buckets, sponges, bottles of cleaning soap and some rags. A regular janitor’s closet with all the cleaning utensils, how did I not notice this the first time? Walking up to and opening the next door, I see that it is a bathroom with a small metal sink that is near the height of my waist and a wooden bathroom stall door. A bathroom within a bathroom, yea that makes perfect sense like everything else around here. I have not heard of a wooden ship that has running water and plumbing, or at least not in the classic wooden ship. I am not complaining because this solves a problem I have not even thought about.

I quickly made my way up top floor and noticed that the captain’s room was dark. Most likely finished his work and getting some rest himself, more than I can say for myself. I am out on the deck again and I savor the view of the night, cartoonish as it may be I still enjoy the night. Walking up to the right side of the ship and lean on the railing to look at the scenery. The smell of the ocean air is a nice change after the two months of constantly smelling the woods. The salty air is good to breath in, helps to clear out the nostrils and the mind. Eyes closed, I listen to the sounds of the ocean while taking in deep breaths of air. The wind blowing through my hair feels nice, it gives me moment of peace. But only a moment as I cannot lie to myself into thinking everything is fine.

I hold my hands together with the fingertips touching each other, the sensation of my finger nails makes me open my eyes and look at them. My nails are long, dirty and jagged from lack of maintenance for so long. It was nice to not be badgered about my nails from my parents for so long, however the sharp and uneven points make it uncomfortable sometimes when dealing with fabric. Thankfully there are no loose threads for them to get caught in. Cutting my nails was more along the lines of personal grooming rather than hygiene or necessity. I doubt that the locals would know the difference between nails and claws, on the ship there will most likely not be any issue about it considering that the griffins have sharp eagle claws. I do not want my nails to be tangled in the bed sheets or annoy me in any way, cutting them would reduce the chances of any of that. I take out my multi tool from my belt bag and open up the pliers. The tool does not have scissors, so I would have to improvise with the wire cutting part of the pliers. Each cut is uneven and more than once the nail simply bends rather getting cut. The length was shortened enough to be less noticeable, however they are still long enough to cause my parents to frown. I cut the thumb nails in to sharp point, nails are useful sometime too. Too bad that I did not have any of the manticore venom, I could have placed some on my nails and have them as sharp weapons like how the women did in medieval times. A less know used method of killing in the old ages of man, however it was rather effective in its purpose. Then again, it would suck if I were to accidentally cut myself with them. Man would I feel stupid if that were ever to happen.

My body is somewhat numb from the long day even though I feel like I could go on for hours. I find my feet to be stiff as I stand and my arms feel weak as I lean forward on the rail. The idea of how much my body changed in such a small amount of time aggravates me. All that time and effort I put into exercising and training feels like a waste now, then again it can be said that all my work was a waste to begin with. I am person of a different time in the modern world, or was to be more exact. I am a fossil dreaming of the glory from the past while only moving forward to the future. It is depressing to realize how the things you like have little to no value to anyone in the future, or rather it was when I was younger. I enjoy fighting almost more than anything else, and would join any sparing matches or even street fights that I could. Friendly neighborhood fighting competitions were often made amongst the teenagers as we did not have many video games and all the good movies are only shown in the evening. I had less and less fights as time progressed when I first came to New York. People interested in fighting were hard to find and to join in any clubs cost money that I did not have.

Looking back at how I was and how I am now makes me depressed and angry as hell. I have no idea when I can start to exercise again or if even there is a point to it anymore. I am in a cartoon for Christ untsake! Everything is just pissing me off more every second. Just looking at the things around me makes me want brake everything with my bare fists, except that then I remember how weak I have gotten and that just makes me even madder. It is really good that there is nobody around because if they were to talk or bother me, I would honestly kill them and throw the body overboard. God how I hate being weak like this.

I walk around the deck for some time to get myself well acquainted with the ship and to know where best for me to jump off said ship if the need should arise. It is not likely that I would get into any real trouble, however trying to think with reason is rather difficult for me at the moment. Having an escape route or two planed out would not hurt. There are no life boats as far as I can see, they have wings so they can fly away if they have to. I do not have that luxury, so if the ship goes down for any reason I am going to have to swim for hell knows how long. I really hope it will not come down to that. The mast is tall and it can be climbed to the very top where the flag would be if it were there.

The moon is full tonight as the stars are clear with only a few clouds in the sky. The whole scene in the sky is beautiful even for a drawing. The idea that Luna had made the sky is rather ludicrous for me or anyone else really. Then again who cares if that is true, it would not change anything for me. I would stand there all night but that would not do anyone any good in the morning when I would have to start work. I do not even know what work I might be assigned. They are probably going to give me all the crappy jobs that nobody wants to do, assholes. Whatever, three days worth of labor for a free ride across the ocean sounds like a good deal to me. I turn and make my way to the cabin door and down the stairs to the barrack room.

The inside of the room was calm with only the sound of breathing being audible. The griffins do not react as I slowly make my way to my bunk. Lifting myself up to my bed quietly, I take of my jacket and with some hesitation I take off my shirt. I am going to keep my shoes and jeans on. I never want to get caught with my pants down, literally or otherwise. I place my backpack and clothes near my feet under the covers so they don’t fall out. Lying down on the bed in the dark, I try to rest and fall asleep. Not surprisingly I end up in the bed awake for some time. Not having a watch, I cannot tell how long I have been awake in this state. I am not certain that I will be getting any sleeping tonight.

After some unknown amount of time, my tired body was starting to affect my mind as I felt myself slowly drifting to sleep.

“Rise and Shine!” The loud sound and the sudden appearance of a bright light woke me in a startle. My heart is racing as though I have encountered a wild animal ready to pounce and kill me. My body filled with adrenalin as awareness slowly took over. I t was time to get up and go to work. I do not feel rested at all, sometimes it feels like the whole universe is out to get me. Fuck you universe!