ACT OF WILL
by Present Perfect
Dear Princess Celestia,
I haven't had much to report about friendship lately, so I thought I would write you a letter about what's been going on around Ponyville instead.
Applejack tells me that Sweet Apple Acres had a bumper crop of zap apples this year. I can't decide which is better: eating the jam and other delicious treats the Apple family makes from them, or watching the zap apples grow on the trees! It's a truly wondrous sight to behold, as no other fruit grows as quickly or magically as zap apples do.
Around town, things are pretty normal, except for that strange box that showed up last night. At least, I have to assume it was last night, though I can't find anypony who actually saw it arrive. The box is over by City Hall at the moment. It's made out of a dark wood that's quite lovely, but nopony's sure of what it's for, so I thought I'd have a closer look today.
Oh, and before I forget, the Cakes' twins turned a year old yesterday. Time really flies, Princess! It doesn't seem like all that long ago they were still crawling around making baby noises. Now they're walking around making baby noises! Pinkie threw a huge party for them and at least half the town showed up. I can't remember the last time one of her parties was quite so... amazing! It was a really good time, and I think that's part of the reason why Rarity ended up sleeping the entire day away.
Silly me, I forgot to mention that! Rarity was up for four days and nights, working feverishly on a new series of designs she says "are not yet fit to be beheld by pony eyes". She told me she wants to unveil the dresses at this year's Gala, so I guess we'll have to wait until then to see what all the fuss is about! (I tried sneaking a peek, but Spike stopped me, which is why I'm writing this letter myself. Apparently, he thinks he's protecting her and her dresses!)
Anyway, that's the news from around Ponyville, Princess. I hope things are going well in Canterlot! If I learn anything new about friendship, you can count on hearing from me again!
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Celestia,
Since you asked, I'll tell you more about the box. I did get a chance to look at it, but I have to say, I'm completely stumped! I'll enclose a photograph, taken by a young local photographer, for precision's sake.
As you can see from the photograph, the box is about one and a half times my height, and a little less wide than a pony is long. It appears to be constructed of a metal frame with wood paneling, and features three orifices: a small vertical slot, a large hole with a rubber curtain that would be about the right size to fit a hoof, and another, horizontal slot below that.
Since I couldn't figure out at a glance what it's meant for, I attempted to take a look inside it with a viewing spell, but was unable to see anything because the spell didn't work correctly. Or at least, I guess it didn't. It was as though I was looking in one side of the box and out the opposite side without seeing anything in between. I'm fairly certain this result suggests that the box has been enchanted to keep ponies from seeing what's inside. Of course, the viewing spell is something I have not cast since I learned it for an exam two years ago, so me being rusty is perhaps an equally likely prospect ~~though I really don't think so~~.
But it turns out the viewing spell wasn't entirely necessary, as we found out today what the machine does, if not its purpose. Garden Salsa, a local vegetable farmer, realized that you could fit a one-bit coin into the smallest slot. The object -- I have to assume it's a machine, since what else would accept money like that? -- did nothing, but somepony else had the idea that, since the largest hole was about the size of a hoof, perhaps there was a button inside to press.
From what I've been told -- and I should mention that this is a third- or fourth-hoof account that I am relaying -- Garden did so and yelped as something pricked her foreleg. When she withdrew her hoof, there was a tiny hole on the underside, welling with blood. The machine then emitted a whirring noise for a few moments, after which a bell chimed and a slip of paper appeared in the lower slot. I've been told it read, in large print, "URSA MAJOR".
We have no idea what this means, Your Highness, but I will begin researching to see if I can get to the bottom of whatever this thing is.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Celestia,
So much has occurred over the past two days that I've only now been able to find enough time to write you about them.
You've no doubt heard about the Ursa attack on Ponyville. My friends and I distracted it while Fluttershy used her as-yet-unexplained Stare power to calm the beast and send it back into the Everfree Forest. In the meantime, the marketplace was destroyed and a lot of ponies lost their homes.
The property damage was severe, but it can be repaired, whereas the loss of life sadly cannot. The ponies whose homes were attacked first were the ones most severely injured, and Garden Salsa was found in the rubble afterward. I've never seen a dead pony before, Princess, at least not one who perished violently. I'm still not sure I know how to deal with everything I witnessed that day.
I mention this terrible news because it was shortly after the cleanup began that somepony -- I think it was Carrot Top, who had been Garden's friend and was the one who had suggested she use the machine -- remembered the slip Garden had gotten from it, the one that read "Ursa Major".
Needless to say, this caused a ripple of panic in town. Some said that the machine had predicted Garden's death. Others thought that it had prognosticated the attack on the town and could be used to tell the future. A couple of ponies called for its destruction, suggesting it might have actually caused the attack. This is no less ridiculous a notion than the first two, though I must confess the motives behind the Ursa's attack remain unknown at this time. Fluttershy only said that it was confused and angry after a mishap with a beehive.
At this point, a number of other ponies rushed to the machine and put bits in to see what else it would ~~predict~~ produce. I have confiscated the slips of paper and labeled each with the corresponding pony's name, for research purposes. I've tested the slips for enchantments, but each is simply ink on paper. The only thing remarkable about them is the mechanism used for printing such regular block letters. The slips read as follows:
OLD AGE
CANCER
WATERFALL
COOKIES
I cannot determine as yet what any of this means, though the "old age" and "cancer" slips suggest that perhaps cause of death is what is being predicted. However, this notion is completely ridiculous. Fortune telling is impossible by magic, thus there is no way a simple machine can do it. My research continues, and though I have yet to find any mention of this machine in the books I've read, I will keep you informed of whatever I find.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Addendum to previous letter:
Moments after sending that last letter, I was informed of a fifth pony who used the machine. Old Mister Waddle received a slip reading "HEART ATTACK". He died on the spot shortly thereafter, of what looked like a heart attack to the ponies watching.
Needless to say, tensions in town are high and my blood is running cold. Some are saying the machine caused the heart attack, though I would say it was only insofar as making Mister Waddle anxious about the possibility of having a heart attack, which could have been enough stress for him to give himself one. That he died shortly after seeing his slip and that poor Garden Salsa met her fate within a short period of time after getting hers are cause for concern, but I think I can safely say that the machine did not kill these ponies. After all, Minuette has not aged into an old mare overnight, nor has Sea Swirl been tossed over a waterfall, though I hear she cancelled a planned whitewater rafting trip.
The Mayor has declared that the machine be placed under lock and key until we have discovered its true purpose, and I think that is the best solution for the moment.
With trepidation and hope,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess Celestia,
If what you say is true, then we are dealing with something far beyond the understanding of mortal pony. I hope that you can arrive soon, though I understand that the negotiations both you and Princess Luna are mired in must be prioritized.
I write with disturbing news. As I said in my last letter, the machine was placed in City Hall's only jail cell yesterday on the Mayor's order. It took four strong stallions to even begin to lift the machine, as though it were determined to remain in place. Of course, it's silly to ascribe sentience to a machine, but...
I myself watched as Big Macintosh and the others loaded the machine onto a cart and took it to that jail cell. He told me afterward that the cell had been locked with a key only the Mayor has access to. This morning, the machine was back in its original place. The cell was still locked and the keys hadn't left the Mayor's side during the night.
I'm so frightened, Princess. We all are. At first it was a curiosity, and then a threat... Now it's become a menace. Ponies are talking and I have no idea what to do.
Worse yet, I'm still coming up short on my research. I mean, there's not even a smidgen of an iota of a clue about this thing in any book I've gotten my hooves on. I vow I won't rest until I discover the meaning behind this machine~~, but I'm not sure if I can~~.
Your fearful student,
Twilight Sparkle
Dear Princess,
At your behest, I will do everything in my power to destroy the machine.
Before I do however, I must inform you of the slips that have come out since my last letter. Ponies keep using it; it's like wanting to know how you'll die is some addiction. I certainly don't want to know, but everypony else seems fascinated by the ~~stupid~~ thing.
Out of the twenty ponies who have used the machine, the results have been: five "OLD AGE"; two "CANCER", one of which was specified as pancreatic; four "NATURAL CAUSES"; and then "DRAGON", "CIDER", "BUNNIES", "INFIDELITY", "MANEHATTAN ARMS", "MUFFINS" -- Derpy was understandably very distressed by that -- "STAMPEDE", "BARN COLLAPSE", "FIRE" and finally "DROWNING BELOW ICE". The Mayor declared that the machine is now to be kept under guard 24 hours a day and that nopony else will be allowed to use it.
I hope that when next I write, it is to inform you of the machine's destruction.
This whole situation is so morbid, Princess. Why would anypony make something like this?
Your determined student,
Twilight Sparkle
Princess,
It happened again.
It took me two days to work up enough spells to break the ~~damn thing~~ machine, but I killed it. It was gone, totally destroyed, and then...
Then it came back.
I want to emphasize how difficult demolishing this thing was. I used fire, ice, lightning, and acid spells. I tried shaking it apart, crushing it, and beating it with hammers. Finally, I just flung it straight up and let it fall, but it survived all of that. After so much exertion, I was too exhausted to continue, so I rested while others worked at it with rocks and tools.
My nap ended up being a full night's sleep, and in the morning the thing was completely untouched. I noticed that nopony was out, save the two guards, and even they were giving it a wide berth. I went through every book on evocation that I have in this ~~useless~~ library until I found one that would destroy it in pretty much every way possible at once.
I cast the spell. I haven't put that much of a strain on my magic since I sent the Ursa Minor back into the Everfree Forest, and that was four spells cast together, not one. I watched as the machine was taken apart piece by piece, and then those pieces disintegrated at the molecular level. Finally, the cloud of particles collapsed in on itself and exploded. (Seeing the pieces got me no closer to understanding what the infernal thing is or how it works, by the way.) There should be no way that thing could ever come back.
The townsponies applauded me for a job well done. Everypony breathed a sigh of relief and was looking forward to going back to their normal homes and lives.
But the ~~fucki~~ machine is back, Princess, as of this morning. If we weren't scared out of our wits before, we are now.
Overnight, one of the ponies with a "natural causes" prediction passed away in her sleep; the doctor confirmed the cause of death. There's talk from ponies of wanting to move away, and at least one family already has. You have to help us, Princess. You're the only who can now.
Please, save us from this thing. It's driving Ponyville mad.
Twilight Sparkle
From the journal of Twilight Sparkle, head librarian of Ponyville:
Name of the Sisters, what's happened to Ponyville?
Ponies are either running away or wrestling with the guards for a glimpse of their own mortality. They're hurting each other trying to get to it and the hospital is almost full. Ponies have stopped working, stopped going to school. Instead they spend their time contemplating their deaths, drinking themselves into stupors, or doing crazy, dangerous things because they know they won't die that way. Except that sometimes they do anyway, and it turns out they just misinterpreted the machine's prediction.
I've seen store windows smashed in. There've been at least three fires. The Mayor was beside herself until she used the machine. Then she asked me, "What's the point when you know how it's going to end?"
Some ponies have given up, while others have only now started to live. Despite all it's been through since I came here, I've never seen this town worse off.
Rarity and Sweetie Belle left for Canterlot. Fluttershy won't come out of her house. Pinkie Pie's mane has been flat for days and I haven't got the first clue where Rainbow Dash is. Applejack says she's not leaving ever, but I haven't seen her set hoof outside her farm, not since the machine came back last time.
It's like an itch. Wanting to know is, I mean. I can feel it creeping at my skin, lurking at the back of my brain. I'm trying to deny it.
How can you not want to know?
From the journal of Twilight Sparkle, head librarian of Ponyville:
I used it.
It's just part of my research, to find out precisely what the process feels like. I keep telling myself that. But I had to know.
It only hurt a little. I didn't look at the paper, except I did. I saw the words as I destroyed them. I don't know what they mean.
I can't even write them here. If I don't write them down, they won't become real, right?
We all have to die someday. But what's the use in thinking about it?
~~WHAT DOES THIS FUCKING THING MEA~~
Dear Princess Celestia,
Please destroy this letter after you read it. I don't want anypony but you and I to know about this.
Since you intervened, the machine has not returned. Whatever you did, it worked. I don't know when or even if life in Ponyville will return to normal, but we're eternally grateful to you for getting rid of it.
I don't know how you did it, but I do know what you tried at first: you tried using it. I understand why now, though I didn't initially. Because you're immortal, you thought you could confuse it and destroy it with logic.
But that didn't happen. I saw your face from afar as you read the slip, and then I ran home because I couldn't deal with the thought of you dying.
The thing is, I know what your slip said.
It said exactly the same thing as mine, didn't it?
What does it mean, Princess?
Will we ever know?
Author's Note
For those unfamiliar with Machine of Death, it's worth noting that the stories in the collection always have a cause of death as their title, hence the all caps. Now you get to puzzle this one out.
I originally wrote this for a Writers' Training Grounds prompt. I believe it was "ponies and technology". It was so long ago, I doubt anyone remembers, but in case you do, it was originally called "FORCE OF WILL".
I discovered Machine of Death via Wondermark, an excellent webcomic whose creator is one of those involved in MoD's inception. I enjoyed many of the stories, and the concept overall, and found it strange that no one had crossed it over with ponies. Given that that was probably close to a year ago, and still no one has, is to me amazing. So here you go. For those interested in reading the text, you can find a full PDF download at http://machineofdeath.net/
Thanks to Filler for feedback and soundslikeponies for a review. Cover image by Alexstrazsa, who is a fucking saint. It's good to get back into producing writing again!
