A Totally Normal Fic I Totally Didn't Write Under The Influence Of Alcohol and a Possible Hypomanic Episode

by Leondude

Rating: teen
Tags: Toola Roola, Twilight Sparkle, Profanity, Random, Violence, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Coconut Cream, Comedy
Length: 1236

It was a normal day in Equestria where nothing crazy ever happened...Except when it did.

Twilight woke up to experience another normal day in Equestria. Except she had this weird sense of deja vu and other abnormalities.

And to add onto the abnormalities (even though it was supposed to be another normal day in Equestria, not an abmoneral day), she and her entire reality is now being dictated by the whims of a capricious deity who, for once, isn't Discord.

Published 2021-10-07 19:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-10-07 19:40:01 UTC

Even Though, As Far As I Am Aware, I Don't Have Bipolar

It was another sunny day in Equestria, with foals running about merrily and an old mare trotting over to the marketplace, as Twilight confidently trotted her way through Ponyville. And then a stray cupcake flew into her.

"Oops," a filly said sheepishly.

Twilight looked at the filly and saw it was none other than Toola Roola.

"Sorry, Princess Twilight," Toola apologized before pointing at Coconut Cream, "That was meant for her."

The other filly scowled as she prepared to lob a sundae at them, even though it wasn't even Sunday.

"Incoming!" the filly yelled.

Fortunately, Twilight and Toola ducked to avoid the sundae as it landed on some random stallion's table. Not bothered by this unusual and surprisingly fortunate turn of events, the stallion shrugged and dug into the sundae.

"Toola Roola!" Twilight exclaimed, "Coconut Cream! What are you doing?!"

"That was meant for my ex-friend," Coconut replied.

"I'm not your ex-friend," Toola retorted "You're my ex-friend!"

The two fillies immediately tried bombarding each other with whatever confectionaries they can get their hooves on, only to end up hitting Twilight Sparkle instead. Amidst being covered in delicious desserts, Twilight had this nagging sense of deja vu. She could have sworn she dealt with a similar situation not long after she published her Friendship Journals. In fact, she was very certain she was supposed to be in Canterlot because the princesses had retired and left her in charge.

Unfortunately, her train of thought ended when a spoon went in through one of her ears then through her brain and out the other ear.

It was another sunny day in Equestria, with foals running about merrily and an old mare trotting over to the marketplace, as Twilight confidently trotted her way through Ponyville. And then a stray cupcake flew into her.

"Oh, no," Twilight said quietly to herself before galloping backwards to avoid the incoming onslaught of desserts. And when the two fillies finally ran out of things to throw at each other, she trotted forward to confront them.

"What is it that caused you two to stop being friends?" Twilight asked in an annoyed tone.

"We found these three crystals that contain all the magic in Equestria," Toola replied as she held up three crystals that were joined together.

As if Twilight's day couldn't get any weirder, Tirek burst out of the ground at full power.

"THEEEEEEEEEEERE!" Tirek yelled, "IS YOUR MAGIC!"

Rather than take all of the magic of Equestria from the two fillies, Tirek simply disappeared back into the ground. Twilight scratched her head in confusion. Since when was all of Equestria's magic contained in three small crystals? Where did Tirek get all of that power? And most importantly, why does it feel like she's living a repeat of one of the worse episodes of her life. And to make matters worse, Toola Roola and Coconut Cream are now playing tug-of-war with the crystals.

"Give them to me!" Toola yelled.

"They're mine" Coconut yelled.

In their struggle, they separated the crystals, which caused the magic to disappear and the floor to collapse beneath them because of Tirk's entrance.

💀 Princess Twilight Sparkle fell to a clumsy, painful death.

It was a suspisciously sunny day in Equestria, with foals running about merrily and an old mare trotting over to the marketplace, as Twilight constantly looked over her shoulder. She expected Toola Roola and Coconut Cream to start hurling desserts at each other but she encountered two other but more recognizable fillies fighting instead.

"Being gay is bad and y'er aunts should feel bad," Apple Boom said before shooting Scootaloo in the face with a shotgun, splattering the poor fillie's brains all over the stallion that had the misfortune of dining there.

Twilight was both appalled and confused by this sudden burst of violence. Since when was Apple Blom homophobic and since when did the Apple family have a shotgun?

"Do you ever get that feeling of deja vu?" a familiar voice asked her.

Twilight turned around and saw a familiar draconequus behind her.

"Is this your idea of a joke?" Twilight asked.

Discord chuckled, "Oh, Twilight. I assure you this had nothing to do with me. For example, I draw the line at killing ponies."

Discord snapped his fingers to make the splattered remains of Scootaloo's head reassemble on what remained of her neck.

"Ow!" Scootaloo exclaimed ass he rubbed her head, "I can't believe you shot me!"

"What did y'all expect?!" Apple Bloom asked, "Me to shoot Twili-"

Because she didn't put the safety on, Apple Bloom's shotgun fired at Twilight's face as she pointed the gun at her to (ironically) point out she wasn't going to shoot Twilight.

It was another sickenly sunny day in Equestria, with foals running about merrily and an old mare trotting over to the marketplace, as Twilight groggily trotted her way through Ponyville carrying an ice pack on her head. And then a crude drawing of a cupcake flew into her. She looked down at the drawing and saw the entire ground had turned into paper. And when she looked up, she saw all of Ponyville looked like a doodle that was crudely drawn on paper. She turned to where Toola Roola or Scootaloo would have been and saw a fluffy cloud thing that was leaking a red fluid out of its bottom.

"My anus is bleeding!" the fluffy-looking thing exclaimed.

Twilight retched at what the fluffy cloud-looking thing said, especially when its blood was slowly puddling its way towards her. At this point, she would rather be covered in desserts by a pair of fillies having a tiff with each other.

"Okay," Twilight said irately, "What the fuck is going on?"

As if to answer her question, a red unicorn with a dishevelled mane and tail appeared out of thin air. He had a mug of cider in one hoof and the Time-Twirler in another.

"It was me," the unicorn replied as he took a swig out of his cider, "I did it like this."

In a demonstration of the Time-Twirler's power, he made the blood of the fluffy-cloud thing re-enter its body.

"Woop-de-ddo!" he exclaimed before taking another swig, "That's a joke, lads."

Twilight was less than amused. And then a piano non-fatally fell on her.

Twilight woke up in her bedroom within the Castle, hyperventilating from the nightmare she experienced. As she looked around the nit-lit room, she saw the rest of Canterlot out of her window. She breathed a sigh of relief as she lied back down on her bed.

"I am never eating Pinkie's homemade sherbert dip ever again."

Author's Note

The title is a lie. I was drunk, as one can tell by the occasion al spelling and grammatical error.

And in a very evelated mood too. :twilightsmile:

P.S: This is not the first time my OC messed with reality and one of the Manr Six for his and other people's amusement:

EDash Clash

MLP: FiM

Comedy

Random

Rainbow Dash and the writer of this fic had some creative differences with hilarious results.

Rainbow Dash

OC

Leondude · 1.1k words  ·  51  3 · 776 views