Discord loved to enjoy the smaller things in life.
Specifically, he liked shrinking down ponies and watching them run around an ant farm while being chased by gummy worms.
It wasn’t something he did often, but the glass case was a good distraction for him as he tried to come up with new chaotic ideas. Things like chocolate rain didn’t just pop out of nowhere, even if they did technically pop out of nowhere.
There was a method to the madness, a purpose for each singing book and jumping teapot. Not that any of the ponies actually appreciated it, of course. They were too busy screaming to enjoy the unsubtle beauty of a flying pig.
But at least he would enjoy the runaway pianos and other chaotic creations he made. If only there was some other creature who understood his twisted tastes, a connoisseur of chaos who could properly enjoy the entropy.
Something like a… What was that word ponies used? The one that usually made him feel sick? Frrrrrrriiiiied rice?
No, not that, but something close. Fingers? Fiddlesticks? Fish-sticks!
“Oh! Now there’s an idea,” he said, snapping his talons to warp a bundle of sticks into a floundering wooden fish. “Hmmm… Not my best work,” he observed, stroking his beard as he idly tried to think of new chaotic creations.
His creative contemplation was brought to a grinding halt as he felt a wave of harmony ripple across Equestria.
“Well… That certainly can’t be good.”
Snapping his talons, Discord appeared inside a tree as six colorful ponies hugged. Six colorful ponies that certainly should not have been colorful and should have been hating each other…
Alright, so plan A to destroy their friendship failed. Not a problem, he just needed to move to plan B… As soon as he thought of one.
Usually, he would have just teleported away and said it was a problem for Future Discord, but…
“Oh… That’s an idea,” he grinned, teleporting back to his throne in Ponyville as he waited for the six ponies to trot back.
Sitting in Fluttershy’s cottage, Discord poured his friend a cup of tea as she regaled him with a story of her younger years.
Apparently, some foal named Ocean Breeze, (he’d remember that for later,) bullied her and Dash into sneaking into the Rainbow Factory at night. There was something about a rumor involving blood and rainbow water or whatever. A bit too gruesome for his tastes, but still a cute story.
He would have loved to hear the end of it if he wasn’t rudely teleported against his will.
Blinking out of a confused daze, Discord looked around the chaotic oil painting that was once Ponyville.
Odd. He didn’t remember doing that recently. That was something the old him would do.
“Hey there, you handsome draconequus,” A younger version of himself bragged, looping an arm around Discord’s neck as he pulled him into a rather awkward embrace. “Come here often?”
“Oh, well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he grinned, holding out a hand to his young reflection. “Discord. You?”
The younger copy eagerly accepted his hand with an olive branch. “Discord. I must say, you don’t look a day over tomorrow.”
“Why thank you. You look good for your age too.”
“Oh, you flatter me.”
“I do my best.”
“Are they hitting on each other?” Rainbow Dash asked, causing the duo Discord’s to look at the mane six.
“Oh wow, you’re all here too!” Future Discord grinned, before a look of worried realization washed over him. “Oh no, you’re all here too. Oh, this…” he hissed through his teeth as he tugged on the grey hairs at the bottom of his neck. “This is really awkward. Um, say, what year is this?”
“Who cares? Time’s irrelevant to us, anyway,” the young Discord dismissed. “But, if I’m right, it’s the last day that they’ll be a problem.”
“Oh, you have no idea,” Discord muttered as his handsome twin from the past began to monologue.
“See, Twilight? I have my own friends. After all, nopony knows me better than myself. Plus, he already knows how to beat all of you, and I don’t even need to raise a paw to help. I can just sit back and wait for my turn in a few years. So, what’s first,” he asked, turning to the Future Discord with a hopeful smile. “I’m thinking balloon animals and jelly! Any thoughts?”
“Do you really think we’ll let you get away with this, Discord?” Twilight asked, stepping forward as she proudly held her head up high.
“Get away? Twilight, look at us, I’ve already won. Now, let’s start with getting rid of those, shall we?”
With a snap of his talons, the younger Discord stole the Elements and hid them all across Equestria.
… For a total of five seconds before a second snap brought them back. “Actually, we don’t win,” the older Discord corrected, earning an equally shocked look from the gathered mares and draconequus.
“Did… Did you just bring the Elements back?” His younger self asked stupidly.
“I did. On any other day I’d probably love to stick around and play jump rope with the timeline, but I need to get back to Fluttershy’s for tea. Oh, that reminds me. Fluttershy, dear, how does the Rainbow Factory story end? I was on the edge of my seat two years from now.”
Fluttershy, being unused to a god of chaos staring at her like a puppy, decided to hide behind Rainbow’s back as her friend took a defensive stance between them.
“What the heck are you talking about, Discord? How do you know that story?” Rainbow demanded.
“Well duh, friends tell friends stories of course.”
“Wait, we became friends? With you?!” Rainbow yelled.
“For once, I actually agree with what’s her face,” the Present Discord agreed.
“Rainbow Dash, and you already know her name. The joke’s stale at this point. At least for me, anyway.”
“Twi, what the heck’s going on here?” Applejack asked, shaking the purple pony out of her stupor as Discord drew them all into a group hug.
“Why Applejack, do I really need to spell it out for you? We’re the best of friends in my timeline!”
“You made me fall in love with a rock, you brute!” Rarity protested.
“Ya made me a no-good liar!” Applejack added on.
“W-well I-I-u-um,” Fluttershy stuttered before Twilight teleported them all out of his grasp.
“Girls, keep your heads straight. This is clearly just another one of his tricks!”
“Oh, Twilight, you wound me. Do I really look like a bad guy?”
“Yes,” his younger self seethed. “Because we are the bad guy! We cause chaos and have fun, we don’t listen to fillies gossip about rainbows or hug ponies! What happened to you? You-you used to be cool! And now you’re one of them?!”
“I am, and you will too. At least if I can fix this little time travel hiccup,” Discord said as he pulled out a broken clock and gave it a light shake.
“Hold it!” Pinkie Pie yelled, earning everypony and draconequus’ attention as she glared at the older Discord. “If you’re really our friend… Then what’s my favorite color?”
The younger Discord rolled his eyes. “Oh please, even I could guess that.”
“It’s every color,” Future Discord answered, causing Pinkie Pie to gasp before she wrapped her hooves around his neck.
“Yes! I have a time traveling friend from the future! I am so going to abuse this for my own personal gain!”
“You won’t because I will never be your friend,” the younger Discord refused, snapping his talons to tear the elements away from the six mares.
His older copy brought them back with a snap of his own, causing the duo to fall into a tug of war with reality, constantly snapping the elements on and off of the gathered mares.
“I can do this all day, you know!”
“As can I. Besides, I know how this ends.”
“Endings are always so predictable. I prefer something a little more… Chaotic.”
A snap was the only warning the future Discord had before a stone statue of himself fell on top of him. “Ugh. Really, using the same trick twice? Now look who’s predictable,” he groaned, quietly noting the sound of several cracks breaking through his old prison.
“Ah-Ha! Free at la—” the stoned Discord was free for all of three seconds before Discord snapped him back to stone.
“Sorry, this story is already confusing enough as it is. And I need to get back to hear the rest of Fluttershy’s story.”
“Over my stoned body!”
“Well aren’t you just full of bright ideas today,” the Future Discord grinned, disappearing as a wave of rainbows crested over the horizon.
His past self watched in dread as the friendship laser came barreling towards him.
“Oh… Right, I kind of forgot about them…”
Reappearing in the present, Discord sat down in his favorite chair as Fluttershy wrapped up her story. It seemed like he only missed a second or two, and Fluttershy was more than willing to continue despite the interruption.
“And that’s when Zephyr started to have a crush on Rainbow Dash.”
“My, my, I never would have guessed that. Of course, I couldn’t expect anything less from my brave little friend,” Discord bragged, earning a light blush from Fluttershy as she sipped her tea.
“By the way, where did you go a few minutes ago?”
“Oh, nowhere special. I was just reliving old memories is all. Speaking of memories, do you remember the day we met?”
“Um, a bit. It’s a little fuzzy at the end though. Princess Celestia said the Elements stole a lot of our energy. I can’t really remember anything after we were about to… Um, you know.”
“Make me a rather pretty bird nest?”
“Sorry about that.”
“Bah, don’t be silly Fluttershy. I’ll admit, back then I was pretty hard to get along with. I certainly wasn’t the reasonable creature I am today, and I just remembered how much I owe you and Celestia. I really wouldn’t be here if it weren’t for you two.”
“Oh, but you did a lot of the work, Discord. You made it here through your own effort.”
Discord couldn’t help but chuckle at that as he ate his teacup. “Oh, you have no idea.”
