Anonymous in Nu-Questria

The visit to Bridlewood was quite brief. There was nowhere to land inside the dense forest canopy, so mostly you all just waved and shouted to the unicorns below as you hovered past.

Sunny was right. They were inspired from seeing the huge vessel and the ponies inside. Yet it was nothing compared to the next stop.

The press conference started almost immediately after the ship touched down near the big open field by Sunny’s lighthouse. They had a stage and a microphone set up and everything. It all went pretty smoothly. The ponies handled all the talking, and all you had to do was stand, wave and look presentable.

Sunny looked incredibly energized talking up at the podium. Her passion for what she believed in had started to spring forth into every movement of her hooves, and every word she uttered.

The crowd was buzzing with reporters and the flash of cameras. It was the largest spectacle that had come to the sleepy seaside town in months.

After things started to wrap up and the crowds had wandered away, evening descended over the town. The neat rows of buildings by the coast looked calm and serene in the golden-orange light.

Sunny had insisted that you try the smoothies from the local smoothie cart in town after the conference. She said it had to be the very first thing you tried.

You obliged her.

The other ponies worked to pilot the airship towards the lighthouse to dock it by the cliff as you and Sunny walked right in to Maretime Bay proper.

Sunny seemed so elated to get to the front of the line. You ordered the largest size. Mango and pineapple. It was freshly made, tangy and quite delicious.

The ponies of the town left you both alone for the most part. A few asked for pictures, both from you and Sunny, but they didn’t linger very long.

You sat on the bench overlooking the small stone railing and out into the bay. Long shadows of buildings rise along the cobblestone streets around you as the sun dips further below the horizon.

Sunny is next to you. She seems a bit worn out from the conference, but she’s relaxed and pleasantly comfortable on the bench. You both already finished the smoothies.

In the distance, the airship hovers by the imposing rock cliff face by the gently glowing lighthouse. Its powerful arcane engines hum with shifting iridescent light beneath the stern. The patchwork balloon, mostly consisting of blues and pinks, bobs gently and soaks in the last drops of evening sun.

The sound of waves lapping against the rocks below comes in rushes with the wind. Sunny shifts up in her seat.

“Hey Anon.” she says.

You look at her. Her orange coat is glowing in the evening light.

“What did he want from you any way? That stallion, Patrice.” She asks.

It’s only been a few days... but feels like history already. You remember Patrice was charged with several felonies for theft, destruction of property, foalnapping, attempted murder and illegally housing a class 4 mythological creature.

The negotiations for his transfer to Bridlewood were still underway. The pegasus guards had him in a maximum security cell under constant watch. In the mugshot you saw, he was wearing a shiny new magic suppression ring on his horn.

“Well...” You say.

“He told me that he wanted to bring back the glory days of Equestria. He wanted me to help him do it. Yet what he had in mind sounded more like the rule of King Sombra than Princess Celestia. He wanted fame, power, mares... you know. The usual things for a young stallion.”

“Hm...” Sunny says. She turns to look out over the bay.

The sun disappears below the horizon. The sky, with its deep violets and blues, hangs suspended in a transitory state of dusk. The stars begin to appear in the sky.

“What do... you want, Anonymous?” Sunny asks.

She turns to look at you.

You look down and scratch your head.

“Me...?” You say.

You honestly hadn’t thought about it. Not since the forest.

You glance at the mighty aircraft by the lighthouse, docked and waiting. You think of the ponies inside. You think of their kind hearts and warm smiles.

You glance at Sunny. She is studying you with her large, turquoise eyes.

“I um...” You say. “I suppose... I don’t know any more.”

Sunny lets out a short sigh. She smiles and shakes her head.

“I had a feeling you’d say that.” She says.

Suddenly, she looks at you with a mixture of concern and compassion.

“I... have something to give you.” She says.

“Hm?” You say. You sit up in your seat.

Sunny reaches into her pack and takes out an old, yellowed piece of paper that’s folded over. It looks like a letter.

“Hitch found this when we were looking through the documents in the warehouse.” Sunny says.

“I’m sorry for keeping it from you until now... but, I felt like you needed some time to process everything...”

“What? Why?” You ask.

Sunny flips over the letter slowly. There’s a wax seal on it. Mint green with a small harp symbol pressed into it.

You feel your heart skip a beat.

You reach out and gently take the letter. It’s long since been unsealed, and the wax is cracked and hard from age.

Sunny looks hesitant as she watches you take the letter. She lowers her hoof without saying a word.

You hold the letter in your hands, staring at the symbol. The mark you know all too well. This letter carries so much weight now. Both sentimentally and historically. The words inside are now priceless artifacts from a lost, mythological age. Should you even read it?

No... You need to.

Very carefully, you unfold the parchment. Your heart thumps loudly in your ears.

Anon,

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to write this letter, or how many times I’ve torn it up and thrown it away. I was never as good at words as you were. You know that. It is very, very difficult for me to even write anything now. Even if I do write this letter, I don’t think I will be able to send it to you.

When you read this please don’t be angry with me.

I know now that what we had was poisonous to us both. In a way I knew it from the start, but I didn’t care. You always blamed yourself all the time, for every little thing. That hurt me and made me so mad inside. I wasn’t so helpless. I could have stopped. I did it to myself just as much as you did it to me.

I don’t care about it any more. I don’t think about the fake promises or the crushed dreams or the other mares. I don’t think about being human. You probably don’t believe me but it is true. I am trying to put it all behind me so I can live a normal life again. And I really really want the same for you.

Anon. I realize now that you need someone that will love you for who you are and not what you are. I was selfish because I kept you from that. I hope that you can forgive me.

But at the very least, please stop blaming yourself, Anonymous. I ask this for your sake, and for the sake of what we had. What happened is in the past now. It is hard but we need to let it go. We need to even forget the good times we had if they hurt us too much. I know you don’t want to do that and I don’t either, but I am going to really try from now on.

If you can’t forget me, even after all these years, then I want you to at least remember one thing.

You made me happy, Anon. You gave this mare everything she wanted, and more.

Wherever you are, please try to find peace. I love you and I always will.

Truthfully,
Lyra Heartstrings

You force your hand to stop trembling and you put down the letter.

Sunny sits silently, waiting for you to say something.

Your eyes are burning. The emotions inside are a churning sea of many distinct feelings all rushing and bleeding into each other. The memories long past, once content to lay at the bottom of the ocean, are burning and boiling at the surface with vivid intensity. You can do nothing but let them flow along with the tears.

For a long while you sit there, looking out into the bay.

The twilight has faded when you weren’t looking. Now there is nothing but a black, star-filled sky.

“Anon...” Sunny says, finally breaking the silence.

You remain motionless in your seat, still clutching the letter. A thin breeze runs over the sea wall, and the constant crash of waves is ever-present below.

“After all... that you’ve been through. And what you just read...” Sunny says.

“I can’t image what you’re feeling right now...”

You lift your head up.

“Please, just... don’t run off on me again.” She says very quietly.

You slowly fold up the letter and tuck it into the shirt pocket of your suit.

“Sunny. I’m very tired.” You say.

She looks down at the stone street.

You shift forward a bit and sigh. “But I think I’m even more tired of running.” You say.

“For nine years, I let myself believe that everything I experienced here in Equestria was just... one long, fucked-up dream. It didn’t feel real. It couldn’t feel real. I felt like if I acknowledged what happened, or what any of it meant to me... I would risk bringing it all back. I would have to face a world I hated again. So I didn’t.”

You shake your head slowly.

“But now that I’m back... everyone I know is dead. Everyone and everything is telling me to just let go of the past. To move on. And now I realize it.” You say.

“I realize that I never did let go. All those years on Earth, I was stuck right here, in my mind.” You say.

“I don’t hate this world. I love Equestria. I love ponies. I love being here. To think that I’m supposed to let that go... that’s what I hate. That’s what I can’t fucking stand...”

You slowly stand up out of your seat. You dust off your sleeves and gesture casually.

“Ever since I’ve got here I’ve just been waiting for the inevitable to happen. For something from the past to come up and hurt me.”

You shrug and slip your hands into your pockets.

“And well, it now its happened. It wasn’t trying to survive in the forest on my own, and it wasn’t a psychopathic unicorn trying to kill me. It was this letter.” You say.

Sunny looks up at you. You notice the silent plea in her eyes. She knows you’re teetering on the edge again.

“And you know what I realize?” You say.

“I just don’t care any more. I don’t care about how much it hurts me. It’s going to keep happening, and honestly... that’s fine.”

“I can’t run away from it. There’s no point. I have to go with you. But... it’s not a choice, Sunny.” You say.

You clear your throat and look down.

“I’m coming with you because... I need to understand something. I need to know what it means for me to be here. Even if there’s no answer... I need to try.”

Sunny can’t meet your gaze any more. Tears form in her eyes.

“Whatever truth that may be, it will either destroy me, or I’ll find my peace.” You say.

“... Not really much of a difference when you think about it, huh?”

You turn towards Sunny and wait for her to say something. Anything.

Yet there’s nothing more to be said.

With a casual turn of your heel, you take a step away from the bench. You start to walk away, heading along the road that skirts along the sea, a slow bend that curves towards the lighthouse and the airship in the distance.