*Ring Ring*
“Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Feather! Or my phone, anyway. Sorry I can’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a wonderful day!”
*BEEP*
“Uhh h-hi, there. My name is Sparkle. Er, Chaser. Sparkle Chaser. I was just calling to say hello and, uh, maybe talk with you. Umm, I’ll try calling you later. Okay, bye.”
Great first impression: fumbling up my own name. And “Okay, bye”, seriously? Could that have been any more awkward? But, it’s natural to be nervous, nothing to freak out over. Happens to lots of ponies. And it’s not like she saw me make a fool of myself. Just think of it as a practice run.
“Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Feather! Or my phone, anyway. Sorry I can’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a wonderful day!”
*BEEP*
“H-Hey, it’s Sparkle Chaser again. I uh, thought you’d be available, but I guess you’re still busy. That’s okay. I’ll try again later. Um, goodbye.”
Of course she's still busy. Why wouldn't she? But that could mean she probably hasn’t heard the first message. Which means I’m still good impression-wise. So take it easy and wait a little longer. Everypony has their downtime. Even someone like Phyllis.
"Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Feather! Or my phone, anyway. Sorry I couldn’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a wonderful day!”
*BEEP*
"Hey again, this is Sparkle Chaser. I guess you're in the middle of something, which is fine. You don't need to call me back right away; I can try again tomorrow. Well, goodnight."
That sounded much better. Still weird she hasn't answered so far (is it?). Maybe she’s in the shower? Forgot to unmute her phone? Should I call back? No, no, it's pretty late. Last thing she needs is to be bothered before going to bed. But we're getting there.
"Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Feather! Or my phone, anyway. Sorry I can’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a fantastic day!”
*BEEP*
"Looks like I just missed you. It's Sparkle Chaser, by the way. I don't know if you got my other messages, but I’ll try back later. Bye."
Guess her mornings are super busy, too. Or her phone is kept muted. Makes sense, if she keeps it with her at all times. Would be embarrassing to have it ring off in the middle of a broadcast. Professionals can’t have that. I probably should have called back sooner...
"Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Feather! Or my phone, anyway. Sorry I couldn’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a fantastic day!”
*BEEP*
"Hey, it's Sparkle Chaser. I hope your day hasn’t been too hectic so far. I probably caught you at a bad time again; sorry about that. I’ll call again later. You can call me back whenever, of course; I’m open for the rest of the day. Oh darn, that's right, I haven't given you my number. You can reach me at 426-668-9355. But I’ll still try again. Alright, bye.”
Maybe she’s so used to getting calls she tunes them out. Apparently there are ponies who can ignore a ringing phone completely. Must be an acquired skill in her line of work. Yeah, definitely a hectic environment if you need to master something like that.
“Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Feather! Or my phone, anyway. Sorry I couldn’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a marvelous day!”
*BEEP*
“Hey hey, it’s Sparkle Chaser! I also go by 'Sparky', which is what my friends call me (no they don’t). Just calling to say hi and have a quick chat. Call me after you've had time to relax. Until then, have a good one.”
Yeah, more confident. It’s important to sound confident. A nice encouraging voice to boost the spirits; that’s probably what she needs after a long day. Although, if she listens to those other messages… That could make things weird. I may want to fix that.
“Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Feather! Or some phone, anyway. Sorry I can’t take your call, but if you leave your name, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a stupendous day!”
*BEEP*
“Hello, this is Sparkle Chaser. I’m a fan of your work, and was hoping to meet you. Or even just talk to you. You’re welcome to call me back and leave me a message if I’m unavailable. Have yourself a good one.”
The waiting is the worst part, when it comes to making calls. Sitting here, counting the seconds, listening to that ringing. It makes me nervous no matter who I call. More so when it’s with somepony I’ve never talked to before. But, that won’t deter me. I will get through to her. I have to.
(Why though?)
“Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Feather! Or my phone, anyway. Sorry I still can't take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a fantastic day!”
*BEEP*
“So I've missed you again; certainly must be a busy day. Well, no helping it, I suppose. I'll just... try again later. This is Sparkle Chaser, by the way."
Late as it is, she has got to be available. What's her social schedule like? Probably packed. But too packed for her to check her phone, not even once? That’s impossible for somepony in her position, right?
The average phone call travels approximately 185,000 miles per second, yet that still isn't fast enough to catch her.
I just have to keep trying. One of these has got to reach her.
“Hi, you’ve almost reached Dazzle Feather! Just my phone, anyway. Sorry I couldn’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a swell day!”
“I really do want to talk to you. I’m not sure how busy your week is, but I'm open for whatever arrangement is convenient for you. Just let me know. I appreciate it."
It might be that she's swept up with meeting all those different ponies, getting interviews and such. It's a truly exciting time: so many new faces to see and be introduced to. It's probably overwhelming. Bet she could use a friendly face right about now. (Not yours)
“Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Feather! Or this phone, anyway. Sorry I couldn’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you as soon as possible. Have a fine day!”
*BEEP*
"I hope you're not freaked out by me. By my messages, I mean. I'm not trying to frighten you. I just want to talk, share a few words. Just, please call me back."
It can be pretty scary for somepony like her. But that's not a bad thing. To be scared is to be prepared, right?
Why you?
She just needs someone to tell her things are alright. Someone who’s sincerely nice.
No one knows who you are.
A willing, friendly, helping hoof. Just regular, plain, no-frills, relatable.
What do you even do?
“Hi, you have reached Dazzle Feather! Only my phone, anyway. Sorry I can’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I might get back with you as soon as possible. Have a fantastic day!”
*BEEP*
"There's no need to be afraid. It's bewildering, with all these different ponies going around, but I can help you. Show you around Maretime Bay for starters, all the good kind folks here. You could even show me #%@$!&$. Like a cultural exchange. It's no issue for me. It would actually be an honor! Think about it, please."
There's so much she could be learning here. Unicorns are interesting, yeah, but so are earth ponies. We have our strengths; we're just as special in our own way. (Except you) She can really learn a lot about our culture. (You have nothing) See how industrious we are using just our two front hooves. And I can show her.
Friendship comes at a cost.
What can you give??
“Hi, you’ve reached Dazzle Wazzle! Or a phone, anyway. Sorry I shouldn’t take your call, so if you leave your name and number, I may consider getting back with you. Have a splendorous day!”
*BEEEEEP*
"If you’re feeling confused and uncertain, that can all be taken care of with a simple meet-up. It doesn’t have to be a luncheon or anything long. Just a quick hello on the sidewalk. Where there are crowds. It could even be by the police station if that makes you comfortable. I’m very flexible, honest. Just tell me how you want to do this. I’m all ears.”
She can easily swoop down here. Several of them have been coming into town. (How would you know?) You’d think she’d be among the first. Gotta get that big scoop. Immerse herself in the culture. Familiarize herself. Learn about us.
It takes about 12 seconds of straight falling, a distance of 450 meters, for an average pony to achieve terminal velocity.
Would she be willing to go that far to engage with a punchline?
She’s more open-minded. She has to be. It’s not like she’s some hoity elitist like Phyllis...
Or…
Or is she?
“Hi, you've reached Dazzle Feather! Or my phony, anyway. Sorry I won’t take your call, but if you leave your name and number, I’ll run as far away as possible. Have a terrible day!”
*BEEP*
“I’m starting to think you don’t want to talk to me because of where I am. Or rather, what I am. Not a terribly good image to have in a more tolerant age. Doesn’t exactly spell ‘trustworthy’ to a wide audience. You may want to consider that, then correct it. Some friendly advice.”
I'd know if she had come here already. I know everything that goes on in this town (LIAR). Unless she's spoken to Hitch or Sunny and figured that was enough. That isn’t proper journalism. You can't focus on the (important) popular ponies. You just can't. It’d just be so skewed and trite and unrealistic (more than what you are).
“Hi, you’ve reached Daz^#$%!@#! Or some phone, whatever. Sorry I can and will do whatever I want; leave your name and number, I’ll get back with you never. Have a take the damn hint day!”
*BEE-EEE-EEP*
"I’ll have you know I can show you a side of earth pony culture you wouldn’t get from any celebrity or politician. This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Think of how much substance you'll get by interviewing a (talentless) down-to-earth guy like me. You owe it to your journalistic integrity to get the full story, and I can help (not). You'd be a fool to let this pass by!"
It's such a no-brainer. I mean, what other (set-dressing) would be this willing and earnest to help? She'll come around. Smart girl like her, she'll understand why she needs to do this. Why she needs me.
“YOUR CALL HAS BEEN FORWARDED TO AN AUTOMATED VOICE MESSAGING SYSTEM. [Dazzle Feather] IS NEVER NOT AVAILABLE. AT THE TONE, PLEASE RECORD YOUR MESSAGE. WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED RECORDING, PLEASE HANG UP, OR PRESS POUND FOR MORE OPTIONS.”
*BEEP*
"I know you're avoiding me. Don't think I'm too stupid to realize just because I'm some hollow mud pony. But I can forgive you; I’m a very decent guy, after all. You just need to call me back. Leave a message, a quick hello. That’s all I’m asking. Just some common courtesy. You can afford to do that much, can’t you?”
This is getting ridiculous. Why wouldn’t she want to talk with me? What is there for her to lose? What harm is there in just returning a call? It cannot be that she’s busy, all the time. That’s impossible. No pony alive is too busy to return a damn phone call. And a pony like her cannot possibly be that rude. There’s just no way. Just no way.
“YOUR CALL HAS BEEN FORWARDED TO AN AUTOMATED VOICE MESSAGING SYSTEM. [426-668-7325] IS UNAVAILABLE. AT THE TONE, PLEASE DEFEND YOURSELF. WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED RECORDING, PLEASE HANG UP, OR PRESS POUND FOR MORE UNHELPFUL OPTIONS.”
*BEEP*
“There’s no reason to be scared. I-I might’ve come off sounding upset, but it has nothing to do with you. It’s just… been a bit stressful on my end. I’m fine otherwise. Please, don’t be afraid. Just give me a chance. You won’t regret it. I promise.”
“MAIN MENU. PRESS 1 FOR [This is getting out of hand]; PRESS 2 FOR [Where did you get this number?]; PRESS 3 FOR [Since when did you own a phone?]; PRESS 4 FOR [Since when could you speak??].”
It’s fine, fine, fine. I’m getting wound up over nothing. I just have to be patient. All good things come to those who wait. Good things come to good ponies. Hard workers get their just rewards. Things are looking bright.
"SORRY, BUT THE VOICE MESSAGING SYSTEM IS CURRENTLY FULL. EITHER FACE FACTS, OR CAST YOUR LATEST SAD PLEA INTO THE HOWLING VOID AFTER THE TONE."
*Beep*
“I know you can hear me. I’m speaking loudly and clearly enough for you to hear. You're making this far more complicated than it has to be. Just pick up the phone. Pick up already!"
Everyone gets their day in the sun. To really stand out. To (matter) be something worth talking about. It's my turn. It has to be my turn. My time to truly shine. To be (someone). I waited long enough.
“THE NUMBER YOU HAVE DIALED HAS BEEN DISCONNECTED. PLEASE SURRENDER AND TRY ANOTHER DELUSION.”
*BEEP*
"I'm telling you, there is nothing wrong
There is NOTHING WRONG
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG
There's no need to hide from me. I'm just an earth pony; you can easily get away. But you won't need to, once you get to know me. I know so much about you, it's only fair. Right? Right??"
You can't take this from me. It's not fair, it's not fair. Not what I deserve. Give it to me. I'm prepared. More than prepared. I only want this little thing. Just some recognition.
"NOT EVERYONE CAN HAVE WORTH"
*BEEP*
"Just give me a chance, please. You're the only one who can help me. Can't you understand that? Can't you hear it in my voice? I need you. I absolutely need you."
"YOUR GODS HAVE BEEN FORSAKEN FAR TOO LONG"
*BEEP*
"You're killing me. You are literally killing me. How can you be this evil? Can you really live with yourself, being a murderer? A dolled-up murderer??"
"SOMEONE HAS TO PAY"
*BEEP*
"Answer me, PLEASE!! It’s so damn simple: just pick up the phone! Accept the Call! You know how to answer a phone, don’t you??? Then DO IT!!”
*BEEP*
“It hurts. It really, really hurts. The constant ringing hurts. It’s hurting my ears, my ears, I can feel it in my teeth. And it just keeps getting louder. Can’t you hear it as well? You have too, because I'm not the only one on the line. It’s not just me!”
*BEEP*
“Make it STOP! Just make it ALL STOP ALREADY!! YOU’RE THE ONE WHO KEEPS IT GOING!!”
*BEEP*
“Answer me please answer me answer me just answer me—”
*BEEP*
“Answer me answer me answer me answer me answer me answer me answer me answer me answer me answer me answer me answer me answer me answer meANSWER ME ANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWERANSWER—”
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEP*
*BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP*
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* ~~*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*~~ *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP*
“Hello?”
“What?! D, Dazzle Feather?”
“Yes?”
“Is, is this really you?”
“ Of course it is. Who else would be answering?”
“...Ohhh. Oh, I, thank… I’ve, I’ve been trying to get through to you for so long.”
“I know.”
“I’ve wanted to talk to you so badly. To finally hear your voice, it is just… I’m so—”
“What did you want to talk to me about?”
“...I, don’t really know. I was so focused on just speaking with you, I forgot exactly why I started calling in the first place.”
“Just to hear my voice? Is that really all you wanted?”
“...Only part of it. I want to know more about you. Know you for you; not what everyone else sees. To possess something that no one else has. To be... something, as a result.”
“Well you can’t do that just from talking. Especially not like this.”
“No. I really can’t.”
“You know exactly what you need to do to make that happen.”
“...Yes. But, I’m not sure if I can really go through with it.”
“You won’t know unless you try. Nothing risked nothing gained, after all.”
“And it’s not like I really have anything to risk.”
“It’s solely up to you if you want to take this further.”
“...It really is up to me.”
“Will I be seeing you soon in that case?”
“...Yes. Very soon.”
“Then there is nothing more to say.”
“Yeah. This is goodbye, then. For now.”
“I’ll be waiting.”
“...I know you will.”
*CLICK*
A phone connection can be completed in the blink of an eye...
...But getting there in person is far more rewarding.
Author's Note
Musical Themes
“Nobody Home” by Pink Floyd
“No Action” by Elvis Costello
“853-5937” by Squeeze
“The Rock Show” by Blink-182
“Golden Hymn ~ Ibis Trismegistus” by Wanwan
“Dialtone” by Toby Fox
Prompts: Dazzle Feather, Sparkle Chaser, "Falls for", Disability, Telephone
