Where Only Silver Shines

by oswak

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Death, Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Bat Pony, Alternate Universe, Romance, Original Character, Mystery
Length: 106281

Two young ponies attempt to unveil the mysteries of The Tower, a strange and cruel place that seems to defy many laws of nature.

Sometimes, decades of your life go by without a single pony noticing any of your efforts to move up the ranks. Sometimes, you fall into a hole in the ground, wind up trapped in a political plot, and meet a cute librarian in the middle of it all.
The last part's nice.

Due to the nature of the AU, the story deserves a [Dark] tag, but it's not a good fit for the story's genre. I also strongly hesitated between Mystery and Adventure.
Mild [Profanity] included (but not enough to warrant the tag).

Huge thanks go out to: Everfree Pony, for saving this fic in at least a dozen different ways, Sir Mediocre, for holding my writing to a certain standard and correcting my broken English, Aisteru Fìre for pre-reading, and Cyeion, for his detailed and thought-out critique.

Published 2023-09-12 20:10:01 UTC
Last updated 2024-03-26 19:53:02 UTC

S1 — Darkest Depths

Endless darkness stretched above me, like a pitch-black, starless night.

The dim stone walls surrounding me lacked any sort of ceiling. A heavy wooden door stood at the edge of my vision, and the smell of mildew assaulted my nose. Had I fallen asleep in a ruined old house? Judging by my piercing headache, I was hungover, though my stomach was unusually calm.

How in the Sun’s name did you get yourself into this mess, Silver?

Standing up proved to be a mistake, because it drove a red-hot spike through my head. As I rubbed my temples, eyes shut, somepony sighed next to me.

I opened my eyes to see Halterdawn’s reddish-brown form sitting on a wooden cot, much like my own. Images of last night flooded into my mind. A carriage. Griffins. A fight. My head being slammed into cobblestone.

“Where… where in Tartarus are we?” I asked, surprised to still be alive.

“You just answered your own question, kid,” he monotoned.

I tilted my head and blinked at him. What kind of explanation was that? Were all nobles this cryptic?

He groaned. “We are in The Tower. At the very bottom, apparently. They tossed us in while you were unconscious.”

“The… Tower? You mean like, The Tower? The one looming over the western coastline? The one you can still see from Trottingham? That Tower?” I’d known about it, but not that ponies could actually go inside it. The thought had simply never crossed my mind.

Halterdawn rolled his eyes. “How many other places called The Tower do you know of?”

“Well, it looks like we’re underground, so can you blame me for finding it all a bit odd?”, I said more defensively than intended.

“Sweet Sun,” he muttered. “Why do I bother?”

“What gives? Do you have to be so bloody rude?” Yesterday, he’d been so grateful for delivering that letter to him that he offered me a ride. Today, this? And why did he expect me to know things like that? I was just a trainee guard!

He glared at me. “Oh, forgive me for not wanting to spend my last day pretending to be nice to some annoying brat.”

“I’m fifty-five years old! I’m old enough to drink!” Damn it, he was getting under my hide! Calm down, Silver.

“I don’t care. You act like a child, so I treat you like one. You could be sixty, or even seventy, but with your attitude, I’d still call you a kid.” He huffed. “Maybe by the time you’re half my age, you’ll understand.”

My headache spiked as I gritted my teeth. Why did nopony take me seriously? Was it my height? But that was normal for pegasi! I grunted. “You could at least show me a little gratitude for trying to save you.” Too bad that griffins were cheaters who used size and raw muscle power to overcome their terrible flight. Oh, and there had been six of them.

“Please, don’t make me laugh.” Halterdawn scoffed. “You’re the reason I’m in this mess to begin with.”

“What‽” My headache made me regret my outburst. “I tried to bloody save you! How is any of this my fault?”

“I suppose you wouldn’t know.” He shrugged, huffing. “Your house betrayed you, just like they betrayed me. Not that I ever trusted them.”

My ears perked up, and I tilted my head. “What’d they do?”

Halterdawn groaned, staring at me flatly. “Do I really have to explain everything to you?”

My tail gave a flick. Sweet bloody Sun, what was his problem? Weren’t we in this together?

“The letter you delivered. Bait.” He spat the word out like it was poisonous. “From your employers. A made-up emergency in the capital to draw me out and lower my guard, only to then have mercenaries lie in ambush.” He let out a mirthless chuckle. “Guess that explains why they would send a peasant kid to deliver such an important message, huh. Probably didn’t expect you to hitch a ride with me, did they?”

I jumped out of bed. “I’m. Not. A kid!” I stomped my hooves twice, then winced as my headache spiked again. I needed to stop doing that, needed to stop letting him get to me. “Pearflower told me she picked me for the assignment because I’m the only pegasus on guard payroll, and that the Hockneys didn’t trust a griffin to deliver something as important. They didn’t even tell me what was in that letter!”

Halterdawn, the bastard, only rolled his eyes. “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

With a flap of my wings, I took to the air. “If you’re gonna be like that, don’t count on my help to leave this place.”

“Yeah, as if anypony ever leaves The Tower,” Halterdawn muttered, but I ignored his melodrama. If this Tower was so dangerous, why didn’t he say so to begin with?

Now that I paid it closer attention, the room clearly resembled a cell more than a simple ruined house. Between the smell of mildew, the dim light, and the lack of furniture other than our two cots, it should have been obvious.

But if we were held prisoners, then why did this room not have a ceiling? I flipped on my back to look at the infinite void above me. In hindsight, flying upside down when my head spun wasn’t the greatest of ideas, especially given how hard of a trick it was to begin with.

For a moment, I considered resting here a bit longer, but when Halterdawn let out another irritated sigh, that idea crumbled. With another flap, I bolted up out of the cell, leaving behind the grouchy old stallion.

Or so I would have liked. Instead, I bumped head first into an invisible ceiling, then fell back to the ground like a rock.

The world now spinning, I cursed under my breath. And my headache just got worse. Amazing. Bloody amazing.

“Kid, you’re better off calming down and resting,” Halterdawn said in his bored monotone. “You have a concussion, and it’s only going to get worse if you keep buzzing around like that.”

I rolled my eyes. He just had to use his big words to try and embarrass me further. Well, I wouldn’t let him… As soon as the damn world stopped spinning.

He sighed. “Or not. Hades if I care.”

I lay on the ground for a few minutes, catching my breath all while contemplating going to sleep here and now. At least it would pass the time, right? Stars above, this was going to suck.

The hard, cold stone floor was quickly becoming uncomfortable. I sat up on my rump and took another look around the cell. It wouldn’t do me any good, but I might as well. To my surprise, I proved myself wrong in just a few seconds. Underneath the wooden plank I’d woken up on sat a chest. Curious, I pulled it out and opened it.

Inside, I found my guard tunic, crossbow and bolts, as well as the rest of my belongings. I furrowed my brow. “Why in Tartarus would they lock us up with our weapons…?” Glad to finally have something to drink, I took a sip from my canteen.

This made absolutely no sense. None at all! Unless… we weren’t meant to be locked up? I stood up, head spinning briefly, and walked towards the door. I tried the handle, and it opened.

I turned to Lord Halterdawn with what I could only hope was an expression of utter disappointment. “Seriously? You didn’t even try to open the bloody door of the cell you’re locked up in?” I had an excuse, I’d assumed he’d tried it already.

“Why would I? What would be the point of leaving this cell? Do you really not understand where we are?” Hey, why did he talk like I was the idiot here?

“Well, we’re in The Tower, like you said?” I shrugged. What about this bloody Tower made it so scary to him?

Yet again, he groaned. “I really can’t stand idiots…”

Okay, I couldn’t take it anymore. I was rested enough to walk or flutter. “Alright then, I’m off to find a way out.” While I slipped into my garb and put on my saddlebags, the ground and walls shook. I might have been knocked off my hooves if not for my wings. Halterdawn, however, was surprised only at first, but then returned to his resigned expression.

My jaw dropped, and I furrowed my brow, shaking my head. “Seriously? You’re not even fazed by that‽”

He was exactly as annoyed as before. “I was, the first three times it occurred. It just happens, deal with it.”

“Okay, how long was I out? How long have we been here?”

“I lost track of time. That’s how long.” After rolling his eyes, he sighed. “Maybe half a day?”

I had somewhere to be! I couldn’t risk having Pearflower believe I forgot about my duties! Or worse, that I was skipping them on purpose! At this rate, I’d never outpace the other recruits! Somehow, I couldn’t shake the feeling this would soon become the least of my worries.

“Well, I gotta go for real now, was good talking to you or whatever.” If he wanted to stay here, that would be his choice.

This place was laid out like a maze. A quarter hour later, I was already lost. At least I wasn’t going in circles. Probably. I couldn’t tell for sure.

The brick walls barely lit by weird, metallic lamps all looked the same. On top of that, every corridor and every room had this weird ceiling that stretched out infinitely far when viewed from the floor, but turned out to be plain brick when I flew towards it. So not quite invisible.

Out in the hallways, the illusory ceiling was slightly taller. Not by much, just enough that I’d gotten my hopes up, only to be disappointed when it turned out to be solid. In a way, I was glad this was all just an illusion, because the idea of such a vast stretch of endless void above me hurt my bloody sanity.

Really, the only thing nice about the current situation was how light my body felt, even with the hunger and headache. At least when I was airborne. Hades, in my current state, flying was easier than walking.

The entire building shook again, knocking me out of my loop of thoughts. I let myself fall two paces to see if anything was happening to the walls inside the illusory ceiling. Not that anything could happen, given that they weren’t real. They couldn’t be.

However, by the time I’d created enough distance, everything had gone back to normal. Then again, it just meant that nothing had changed at all. The lack of insight was disappointing, but—

Was that a flyer? Somepony inside the ceiling?

“Okay, weird.” It almost made me reconsider my complete and utter certainty about the illusion, but I wouldn’t fall for cheap tricks like that.

However, the silhouette letting out a piercing screech and diving towards me quickly changed my mind. I pulled back my crossbow’s string and loaded a bolt. This pony might still be friendly, but I didn’t want to take my chances.

She soon landed in front of me, seemingly unbothered by the artificial ceiling. So that definitely wasn’t an illusion. One-way force-field, then? Were those even a thing? But then, the endless dark would—No time to think about that, Silver!

Her—his?—face obscured by the dark, she took a step towards me. Her black wings weren’t feathered, instead reflecting light much like polished leather would.

“Hi?” My voice wavered, but hopefully that would help me come across as non-combative. I was in no shape to fight.

I’d talked to a few saro… saroj… to a few batponies before. I knew what they looked like and that they weren’t all too different from us pegasi. They lived several decades longer in general—at least I’d met some that were over a hundred years old—but were still outlived by earth ponies, let alone unicorns, who could somehow live twice as long. Still, they were usually more than happy to chat with a fellow flyer. This filly? Not so much, judging by the caution she put into every step forward.

As it stepped towards me and into the light, its features became clear. It didn’t take a genius to realise that this thing was far from friendly as it hissed at me.

Its fur and eyes were entirely black, and its fanged mouth hung open. It hissed again, lunging and spreading its wings. I flapped mine, launching myself backwards before raising my crossbow. The bolt skewered its right eye, and the monster collapsed, spewing glowing green from its wound.

In a swift, practised movement, I flipped around to avoid losing my balance from the bolt’s recoil—even though it wasn’t strictly needed for such a small crossbow.

Finally something I could take on! If that was all this place had in store for me, I had nothing to worry about. No wonder Halterdawn was so scared; if he couldn’t fight, and if he didn’t trust my ability to protect him, of course he’d be afraid.

But this was only a monster. I was brought up as a bloody hunter, I knew how to handle those! Just had to outspeed or outsmart them. Unlike griffins, who clearly had no problem outsmarting an idiot like me. No wonder the captain didn’t trust me with anything important.

Not the time for self-pity, Silver.

With my shoe’s hook, I drew my crossbow’s string back and flew upside down towards the ground—a trick that filled me with pride even during such a tense moment. Not only was it hard to pull off in normal times, but being able to do it under pressure? Took months of daily practice, even for a natural like myself.

Come on, Silver, stop getting bloody distracted!

When I dropped down, there were two more black shapes moving around up there, both coming my way. I lamented not being able to shoot through the ceiling, but didn’t let it slow me.

Actually… I didn’t know that. Maybe it only blocked ponies from passing. I took aim at the leftmost bat-creature-thing and shot… only for my bolt to lodge itself in the ceiling. Not surprising, but still disappointing.

Either due to bad timing, or because they’d heard me, both creatures started diving towards me. Frantically reloading, I managed to dodge the first bat as it landed, only for its buddy to cut off the path ahead of me. Seriously, how unfair was this? I wasted no time complaining and shot the one in front as it lunged. I dodged its dead body with ease.

The piercing screech of another thing reached my ears, but I couldn’t afford to look now, not when I was already surrounded. Worse yet, I was starting to run out of bolts. I had, what, three left? What if it was less? Should I recount to make sure?

No time for that. I turned around at the last moment as the bat lunged. Pushing myself away with everything I had, I barely managed to avoid its fangs, only one of them scraping the base of my neck. The gash was far more bark than bite, burning horribly, but not actually dangerous.

Again, I poured every last ounce of strength and magic into my wings in an attempt to stop myself from crashing into the wall. My efforts failed me, and the shock knocked the wind out of my lungs.

The world spun. Two seconds weren’t enough to catch my breath, but they were all I could afford right now. I was lucky I hadn’t slammed my head against the brick wall.

Before the bat could reach me, I took off and flew as fast as possible, leaving it in the dust. A mindless beast had no chance of keeping up with me.

I slowed down to take a turn without pushing my limits. I immediately regretted that decision when I found myself a mere few paces away from a kneeling monster. Damn it, if I’d been faster, I could have dashed past! Now it would have time to lunge.

A third bat suffered a rough landing far away from me, one of its bones snapping noisily under the impact. I took the briefest of moments to thank my luck that those things weren’t good flyers.

That short instant almost proved fatal, as the bat in front of me lunged. Led by instinct, I spread my wings, lowered my head, and spun my whole body backward. I clenched my teeth. The stress nearly ripped every tendon in my wings, but the manoeuvre allowed me to duck underneath the jaws snapping shut where my head had been a fraction of a second ago.

The next moment, I was perfectly aligned to dump the excess momentum with a four-hooved buck right into its barrel. It crashed into the ceiling, skull cracking loudly enough to echo. Meanwhile, I found myself tossed to the ground with enough force to stun me for Stars knew how long. A moment later, the beast fell next to me with a thump.

The world spun, my ears rang. Bloody Hades!

It wasn’t as rough as my previous encounter with the wall, but I knew I was in trouble. I had to get up, but I just didn’t have the time! Wherever I moved, I wouldn’t have enough momentum to dodge those other two!

Screaming swears inside my head, I desperately scrambled to stand up. When I heard them pounce in near unison, I knew it was too late to get out of the way. A flash of genius crossed my mind at the last moment.

I turned onto my back and gave a flap of my wings, sending a gust of wind upwards. It wasn’t quite as strong as I had hoped, since the floor blocked my range of movement, but it was enough to make both monsters miss.

This bought me some time, but not enough to flee, especially as the abomination that I’d sent into the ceiling was already recovering, somehow still alive. By the time I was back on my hooves, a dagger landed by them with a clink.

What? Where did that come from?

No time to think.

With practised ease, I slotted it into my front right horseshoe, right as the bat in front of me leapt again. A single flap of my wings later, I dodged backwards. Its jaw slammed shut right before my neck, its foul breath hot on my fur. That left it wide open. With one slice, I slit its throat, and its glowing green blood seeped into my coat. Don’t think.

I pulled it over me, its remaining momentum helping me pivot mid-air. I kicked the corpse backwards at the bat ready to lunge, using it as a springboard to fly away in the opposite direction.

That left me to deal with the bat on the other side. Were there more? I was starting to lose track of them. Don’t think. It threw itself at me.

Adrenaline and a good weapon on my side, I had nothing to fear. Now that I was used to the height of the corridor, I comfortably dodged up. Pushing myself off the ceiling, I plunged the dagger through the back of its skull before it could even react. Would that be enough to kill it? Don’t think.

Air currents alerted my feathers to another monster diving for me. The creature slammed into me, pinning me to the ground, my blade still stuck in the skull. Before I could break out, the bat brought down its fangs on the base of my neck, barely above my right shoulder.

My skin opposed them for a horrifying fraction of a second before ripping under the stress.

When it scraped my collarbone, I screamed in pain and threw my head back. My awkward headbutt hurt me more than my opponent, but it gave me a brief opening. On their way out, the fangs tore my flesh, and I bit my lip to avoid screaming.

That window was all I needed to turn onto my back, kick it off me, and pull out my blade. In the same motion, I swung the dagger at its face, splattering the nearby wall with my own blood. The blow was a lot weaker and slower than expected, allowing the bat to dodge backwards.

Flapping my wings, I fell back and reloaded my crossbow. The bat didn’t immediately lunge, staring at me instead. Was it wary? Were these things smarter than I thought? I had no idea if it would take the opening the moment I shot, but I didn’t want to risk it. Somehow, neither did it, because it watched me leave.

Now that I had a few seconds to breathe, questions assaulted my mind. What in Tartarus were those things? Who gave me that knife? Where the Hades was I? Would I survive this wound? That was a lot of blood pouring down my back. I clutched my neck with my good leg, wincing at the deep hole and strip of flesh.

As I arrived at a corner, my second question was answered. Halterdawn cowered behind it, occasionally taking a peek at me. “Thanks for the dagger,” I told him.

“You’re probably more effective with it than me. You better protect me with it.” He scoffed. The nerve of that pony. If he didn’t at least help me net my well-deserved promotion after this—

Another bat turned the corner ahead of us. Bloody Hades, I needed to rest up and tend to my wounds!

I’d gone past a few rooms with actual ceilings when flying around aimlessly earlier. If we could find one of them, it would be a defensible position. Hopefully it would give me enough time to stop the bleeding.

But I had to take a gamble first.

“Follow me.” I flew back where I’d come from. A bat was walking towards us, intent but under no pressure. Was it still the same one? It didn’t have any blood on its muzzle.

I tried to keep my neck steady as I approached it, but the seesaw motion of flight seemed to put more and more stress on the wound. I bit my lip and ignored the pain as I pushed on.

Finally close enough, I took aim and pulled the trigger. The bat didn’t dodge, and my bolt pierced into its skull. A shiver ran down my spine.

Then came a thud from behind me. I spun around, ready to impale the bat on my dagger. However, the only creature behind me was Halterdawn, sprawled out on the ground.

“Get up!” Stars above, if he slowed me down…

While I loaded another bolt—one left—he stood up and huffed. “I slipped on your blood!” He pointed at my chest.

“Gee, sorry about that. Lemme just bleed less, why don’t I?” Did I even have a reason to not leave him to die right now? What in Tartarus was his problem?

Two more abominations dropped at the end of the corridor, and I heard the flap of wings of the one above us. It dove at Halterdawn, but I intercepted it mid-flight and slit its throat. As little effort as it was, I still found myself panting, my vision blurring.

I bolted into the nearby room and closed the door right behind Halterdawn. It didn’t have a solid ceiling, but this had to do for now. “Hide under the bed,” I ordered while looking for anything to slow the bleeding. I quickly settled on some dirty rags haphazardly draped over a suspended plank.

As the bats banged on the door—there were now at least four on the other side, judging by the frequency—I tied the cloth around my torso as tightly as I could. This wouldn’t be good enough to stop the bleeding, but it was better than nothing, right? As grim as this situation looked, at least there weren’t any shadows above us anymore.

Hah. I just had to think that. I just fucking had to.

More silhouettes than I could count with my blurry vision appeared above us, rapidly circling down. Was this my end? It couldn’t be. I was way too good a fighter to die in such stupid circumstances. But then, what else could I do? Pray for a miracle? I needed reinforcements, not a Sun-damned miracle.

A bat landed in front of me. I sluggishly raised my dagger against it, only for it to sidestep my blow and knock my leg aside. I took another swing at the silhouette, but it caught my hoof.

With more mental energy than I could spare, I focused the world into sharpness. This was no mindless zombie, but an actual batpony. She wore midnight blue half plate armour, dark grey fur showing through the few gaps in it. In normal times, I could definitely take her on.

Her eyes assessed me with a mixture of concern and fear, but she wasn’t hostile. My body only needed this one realisation to give out, and my legs buckled underneath me.

The room was spinning still, and my ears were ringing louder and louder. The edges of my vision were, too, growing ever darker, but I was still able to see another bat land in front of me. He was gigantic. “Where is that noble?” he barked.

Taking a step towards me, the mare pulled a bottle from her belt.

The stallion pointed at me. “And who’s this?”

Since it took all my willpower to stay awake, I didn’t reply. Meanwhile, the mare poured a soothing tincture over my wounds.

“Not sure. He did a decent job protecting Lord Halterdawn, though, even if the Forsaken eventually wore him out.” She paused for a moment to inspect my wound and make sure the bleeding had properly stopped. “According to Gate, the Lord was brought here along with somepony. I think it’s safe to assume he’s a retainer.”

I checked the cot next to me, where Halterdawn was crawling out of his hiding spot, much slower than he needed to.

Given how calm their discussion was, I found it harder and harder to keep my eyes open. The batpony stallion grumbled, “So he shall have to come along with the noble. How irritating.”

“You should see the upside, Captain sir, Aurora will be more than happy to have somepony like him. After all—”

That was the point where I finally passed out.

Author's Note

It just occurred to me that this fic is technically a G5 story.

A1 — Waning

Doctor Vitro took a step back. “So far so good,” she said, more to herself than me. “Pulse is faster and a lot stronger than last time. Almost normal for a filly her age.” After a content nod, she recorded it on the parchment and slate floating in her telekinesis.

She pointed towards one of the only parts of the white marble wall free of furniture. “Please stand over there, I wanna see if you’ve grown.” Vitro pulled a pencil out from her saddlebags. Once I was in place, she marked my height with her pencil. A few moments later, she measured it and scribbled the result. Again, she nodded. “Grown about two centimetres,” she mumbled, more to herself than me.

Leaving me no time to ponder, she gestured to the sofa. “Lie down, please. On your back.”

The first time I’d seen her, she had complained that my family did not have a proper physician’s room in our residence, and that she had to use a mundane guest room for when she treated me. Since then, Papa had provided her with additional equipment, stored in the various cabinets and drawers. Though likely far from good enough, it did halt her complaints.

I did as told, and mentally braced myself for the invasion of privacy that was about to befall unto me. She was a doctor, and was thus expected to perform examinations such as this one. Nothing in her demeanour indicated any indecent intent.

Still, I held no fondness for the procedure, especially considering her vexatious habit of mumbling her findings to herself, no matter how curt or unpleasant they might be. To my colossal relief, she merely glanced over my more private areas, commented about everything being in order, then moved on to my barrel.

“Incisions have scarred up nicely.” She wrote on the parchment. “Much faster than expected, actually, given the patient’s previous condition.”

Though four months had passed already since my last checkup, I understood her surprise. In my previous state, wounds like these would have needed years to merely close, let alone fully heal.

Content, Vitro moved up my body again, checking my chest’s fur for irregularities. Finally, she turned her attention to my head. Levitating out a glowing crystal from her pouch, she inspected each of my ears, then my eyes.

“Well then, Lady Fell. It seems the procedure has not only been a success, but the recovery equally so.” Her gleeful tone came more from the positive results of her experiment, and less from my recovery. This mare hardly ever cared about anything other than her personal research.

“So…” My voice was weak, full of hesitation. I had already known I was doing better. I could feel it throughout my body. Movement was easier, fatigue only came towards the end of a day, and my appetite had reached new heights. Yet I was so deathly afraid of her answer to my next question. “Does that mean I will one day be well enough to travel?”

Vitro grimaced and shook her head, then furrowed her brow as she looked at the ceiling. She let her gaze wander for a moment before letting out a “huh” as she stared past me. She bit her lip, then made a popping sound with her mouth.

Finally, after drawing out her reflection for much longer than necessary, she shrugged. “I doubt it, but I could be wrong. As far as I know, there’s a fifty-fifty chance of you dying in the first month. But after that? Who knows how well your body would adapt. The treatment for fibrodysplasia ossificans progressiva already weakened you quite a tad, and I have no idea how you’d react to the outside’s… what’s the word—” she gestured at the air in the room “—thing. You know what I mean. Anyway, your body doesn’t know how to deal with it, so it’s all unknown.”

Even after it was cured, this disease still held a grip of iron on my life. I was no longer turning to bone, but I still would never be able to leave the family estate. What good was there in that?

Oh, I had stopped listening to Vitro. I forced my attention back towards chaotic speech. “…But maybe you’ll only need a few days to adapt.” She narrowed her eyes and hesitated for a moment before adding, “Of course, should you insist on trying anyway, and should your family allow it, I will be there all the way with you.”

Taking notes, no doubt.

I did not vocalise that comment. “I see,” I replied as evenly as I could. Again, the answer did not really surprise me, and it ought not to. I would have been a foal to believe my life held any chance at freedom. Any chance of getting out of this miserable residence and seeing even a fraction of the world. Of living even half the life of a normal pony. Of finding love, of sleeping under the stars.

Really, there was no reason for me to be on the edge of tears. The life I had read about in so many books would remain outside my grasp, forever inaccessible.

But I knew that already; I had no reason to feel upset. I thanked the doctor for her work and left the guest room. It took everything I had not to tear up on the way to my room, even though nopony would have seen me.

I lay on my bed, levitating a book in front of me. I had been reading for the past hour, but my mind wandered. Though my eyes followed the words, I hardly paid attention to their meaning.

The previous chapter had left off on a high note, but the narration had since returned to the slow pace permeating the story. Far from dull, it no longer held my attention, for my mind veered deep into the realm of fantasy.

The reason for my daydream was none other than the book itself. A beautiful romance was burgeoning between the Captain of the Guard and her servant, and the previous chapter had nudged their relationship further towards its realisation.

My thoughts roaming free, I wondered about my own life. Who would I be, had I not been born into this dreadful house? A noble family’s loyal guard? Maybe a sell-sword, accepting any work so long as the pay was right, only to be convinced to live a normal life, after meeting the perfect stallion.

Or a pirate, sailing the world and discovering the ancient, lost continent. Perhaps the word explorer would be more apt, in such a case. Archeology, too, was a purpose to which I might have dedicated my soul.

Though, my de facto skill set would have made me into a formidable author. Perchance I could have written as I adventured? However, my talent for magic undeniable, I could also envision life as a powerful sorceress, one who shaped the world to gain ponies’ respect and trust.

Reality was as harsh as it was inevitable. I was little more than a sickly noble of a fallen family, my dreams mere delusions, my only sane aspiration to assume my role as their leader. It would be my duty to restore House Fell; hardly an exciting or alluring concept, albeit better than rotting away without purpose.

Lack of passion notwithstanding, this goal was well without my grasp. Papa wouldn’t allow it, insisting I remain sheltered for as long as he could enforce it.

Oh, what I’d give to live in a different time. Serving the mythical princesses of the lost continent… I wouldn’t need any sort of adventures, content with even mundane jobs in such a bright and colourful world. The wonders of being able to read on a hill during a bright and sunny afternoon. What I would give to see the sun, if only once.

Even that hope was far beyond me; achieving it would be naught but fantasy.

Surely, a mere departure from my routine of reading, sleeping, and studying would be enough to fulfil me. Anything to make my life more exciting, to make it less a burden, would make me happy. Anything at all to give me a reason to push on.

I let out a long, drawn-out sigh. Was there a point to lamenting how pathetic my life was? Hardly; nothing within my ability could resolve that problem. Or maybe… maybe there was some spell that could mend me. There had to be a way to be rid of this mortal shell and live my life as I pleased, with no regard for health or bodily limits.

I shook my head. No, those weren’t good thoughts. Immortality, as attractive as it may be, is a curse, for it leads only to fates far worse than death. Magic of this kind only brings ruin in its wake.

Though perhaps it was worth it. I had nothing to lose and everything to gain. I was not living, only surviving; even undeath would be better than no life at all.

Was my life truly hopeless enough to warrant such permanent measures?

No… No, it wasn’t. I was young, charming, and attractive, and a noble at that. In fiction that would make me the protagonist, or at the very least an important character.

I could not let myself wallow in pity like this. The Tower itself was gargantuan and ripe with mystery. For though I believed it mundane, it was anything but. I merely had to step out into the unknown, into the dark. Not even the longest of books could possibly detail all the secrets that it held. It was a dangerous place, full of adventure.

Maybe I could rescue a handsome servant from a horrible fate, and have a secret relationship with him. Oh, the mere thought sent my heart aflutter.

I would fill the void in my heart, one way or another.

Tomorrow, I would explore The Tower.

Author's Note

Originally, these were two chapters. They were merged after I deleted the old prologue.

S2 — Candle Light

My bed was unusually comfortable. It made me wonder why my shoulder ached, despite this wonderful, wonderful mattress. The last time I’d slept on a bed this soft was when I’d managed to get my hooves on a clean cloud. Too bad it eventually got dirty and started making me sick whenever I napped on it.

Wait! Did I fall asleep on a cloud? My eyes shot open. Even in the near-complete darkness, my bed looked like regular textile. Okay, good. I closed my eyes again, sighing.

According to Mum, it was a miracle I’d even survived that. She’d been inconsolable when she learned that I’d been sleeping on a cloud. And… well, I couldn’t blame her. She thought I might die, and I certainly felt like it. I shifted on my side.

I must have really slept wrong on my shoulder, because this bloody hurt. I rolled on my back to try and massage it, only to find it covered with a bandage.

Oh, right. I was injured in the fight with that bat creature. I groaned as I shifted to inspect the bandage, and found it dry and snug. Definitely better than the makeshift one I had before.

Oh right. I’d gotten injured in that place. Thank the Stars that whole thing was over. And here Halterdawn had been all panicky because he thought he was stuck there. What an idiot. Well, I guess it was possible for him to still be in that dreadful place. I was probably in a guest room at the Hockney manor, and I couldn’t care less about what happened to that weirdo.

Anyway, that was all behind me. I had no idea what the future had in store for me, but I knew the present had a very comfortable mattress. I adjusted my position on the bed, careful not to strain my injured shoulder. Then, I drifted back off to sleep.

Or so I hoped. My bladder had other plans. It wasn’t urgent, but I definitely wouldn’t be able to relax like this. I rolled out of bed, but when my hooves touched the ground, I winced and decided I would be flying instead of walking. That stupid bat had really messed up the muscles at the base of my neck, hadn’t it? Well, I’d rather fly everywhere than walk with a limp. But first, I needed to find my uniform.

The room was barely lit by a nearly burnt-out candle standing on a table in the corner opposite me. Looking around, I quickly spotted my uniform, neatly folded on top of a chest near my bed. Well, that was perhaps an overstatement. As damaged and bloodied as the cloth was, “neat” was not a good way to describe it.

I put it on in a swift, practised move, only to realise that it would reflect poorly on House Hockney to wear this. I’d never climb the ranks if the officers thought I couldn’t even be trusted with proper wardrobe choices. I’d need to request a new one, which hopefully wouldn’t make me seem incompetent. I did lose it in a fierce battle, didn’t I? If anything, they should shave a few years off my training for my heroics. Maybe even promote me immediately.

Walking around naked in such a high-profile place would be rude, too, if only slightly. I could always check out the closet; maybe they had some kind of suitable replacement?

After a few minutes of haphazard rummaging, I concluded they didn’t. Everything here was way too fancy. There were suits like those guards and we trainees wore on formal occasions, but there were also dresses with different levels of frills. There were some slightly more casual sets, but even they were too fancy to wear for daily life.

Not to mention, most of the clothes in here were too large for me. Oh, the joys of being an average-sized pegasus. Although… that one suit seemed really nice and would probably look great on me. Would they notice if this went missing after I left? All to avoid reflecting poorly on the House, of course.

I ignored the temptation and closed the closet. All of these clothes were way too formal for a trip to the toilet, anyway. I turned to leave the room, but spotted something on the table that I hadn’t noticed before. It was a small basket with a piece of parchment lying in front of it, and half a dozen buns inside. I picked one up as I unfolded the note.

Oh sweet Sun, it was cursive. Printed letters had given me a lot of trouble at first, but I’d eventually overcome them. I couldn’t say the same about hoofwriting, especially messy hoofwriting. I vaguely remembered the shape of letters and could recognise a good half of them, but the other half escaped me entirely. Whatever, it could wait until I was bored enough. Then, I might be able to throw myself at it until I somehow deciphered it.

The bun was surprisingly soft and still warm. Definitely better than the stuff Mom used to make, but it had a weird, slightly bitter aftertaste. I took another bite as I left the room and stepped into a white corridor, lit by small chandeliers hanging from the ceiling at regular intervals. To my left and right, it stretched on for the longest distance I’d ever seen inside a building. This wasn’t just a manor, it was a bloody castle! On a whim, I turned left.

I finished my food as I flew down the corridor, hoping to bump into somepony to ask about a restroom. My odds of finding one on my own were pretty slim, given how samey everything looked. On either side of me, the same door seemed to repeat forever. They weren’t actually the same, since the text engraved on the plate above each looked different. Not that I could be bothered to stop and read every one of them. The only other things breaking up the monotony of these apparently endless marble walls were bells mounted at pony height, between every other door.

Thankfully, as long as I headed in only one direction, I couldn’t really get lost, no matter how far I went. My eyebrows furrowed almost on their own… How would I recognise my room? Whatever, that was a problem for Future Silver.

Finally, I reached a fork in the hallway and looked both ways. Neither direction had any obvious clues, so I turned around. This place was starting to feel like a maze, and I refused to take the risk of getting lost. Not even I was that stupid.

Besides, I hadn’t really wondered if there was a pot in my room. After nearly two years as a guard trainee, I couldn’t blame myself for losing old habits; of course I’d assume this place was fancy enough to have running water.

Huh, on the topic of running water: I was clean. I very much appreciated that whoever had taken care of my wound had also had the decency to wash me. Even my mane was properly fluffy and light, a feeling I was not used to in the slightest. I had to admit, this was amongst my favourite feelings overall, only beaten by the truly amazing things. Like sleeping on a nice, soft cloud.

It didn’t take long for me to realise that I was completely and utterly lost. I soon found myself staring at the bells in pure curiosity. Of course I knew their purpose; nobles and their guests would ring them to call a servant, maid or otherwise.

While I had been given a guest room instead of a lousy bed in the barracks, I still didn’t see myself as anything more than a rookie guard. Those bells weren’t for somepony like me. I continued onward, unable to get the tempting idea out of my mind.

Ringing one of them would fix my problems, wouldn’t it? Plus the servants would for sure understand. I’d never been here before, and I hadn’t been given a tour or anything. Fine. I approached one of the bells, grabbed the line with both front hooves, and rang.

I watched the rooms before me, wondering if anypony would come running out of them. Given how empty this wing of the castle was, I doubted it. Then again, maybe everypony was asleep. How late was it, anyway?

When I turned towards the other side, I came face to face with a pony wearing a white ceramic mask. Of course, I let out a not-at-all-cowardly yelp and recoiled out of instinct. The rash movement made my injury hurt like Hades, reminding me of its existence.

“Ya rang?” he droned in a monotone, low voice while I massaged my shoulder. Now that I was a decent bit further away, I had a good look at him. He was a stallion of average height and build, wearing a black dress suit. Other than the mask, he was nothing out of the ordinary. Just a butler going about his job.

I let out an embarrassed chuckle and rubbed the back of my head with my good hoof. “I was looking for the restroom and kind of got lost.”

“Follow me.” Without missing a beat, he walked past me.

After the few seconds it took me to catch up to him, I asked, “And, if it’s not too much of a pain, would you mind leading me back to my room? I don’t really know where it is.”

He nodded. At least I was pretty sure he did, but it could have been his gait.

I was back in my room, and I was bored. I’d deciphered enough of the note to understand that, apparently, those buns contained some kind of healing magic. Also, the pony who’d written the note, Aurora, wanted to meet me when I was well enough to move. Well, he or she should come and find me, then, because moving really wasn’t all that difficult. Painful, yes, if I wasn’t careful about how I moved my neck. Difficult, no.

I found myself staring at the bell sitting on my table. In the dark, I’d completely missed it, but now that Haste—the butler—had lit the main lights at my request, it was more than visible.

Perhaps ‘lit’ wasn’t the best word. The crystal held against the wall wasn’t exactly burning. Was that magic? Had to be, but Moon did I know little about magic. A pegasus didn’t have to understand that stuff, he only needed to use it.

I stared at the light for a few more minutes, wondering how I could even put it out. Damn it, I should have paid more attention!

Unfortunately, not even that could keep boredom at bay for long, and I soon found myself wanting to leave my room and explore the rest of the mansion. It wouldn’t be proper for a guest to walk around their host’s home without at least some kind of fancier-than-normal clothing.

There was some pride in my decision to dress up, but I mostly did it for the sake of House Hockney. Obviously.

I spent maybe half an hour looking through the closet again. With the light on, there were so many more options, so many suits I’d previously overlooked.

Eventually, I settled on the suit I’d spotted earlier. Putting it on wasn’t exactly pleasant, considering my wound, but I managed. To my delight, it even had wing cutouts.

And so, I finally left my room again. After finishing all the buns, that is. For their healing magic, of course. It wasn’t like they were the best thing I’d eaten in months; no, not at all.

Stepping out, I took a moment to read the engraved sign by my room. I was surprised to find that it held my own name. Them knowing my name was one thing, but to think they would go out of their way like this…? Now that was hospitality. I made sure to take a look at the other signs around, but nothing caught my eye. I set out for real.

I headed left again, curious where either of those two hallways would lead. Surprisingly, I arrived at the fork much quicker than last time; had to be my mind playing tricks on me. What was that big word that one of the officers liked to use? Something-phrenia. Had to be that.

I turned right, and started my way down a corridor. Unlike the residential part, this one had barren walls. Maybe ten metres away, there was a nook in the wall. Once I got close, I realised that it was a large recessed door. Beside it, a sign read “Ballroom”, though given the dust on the handle, it hadn’t been used in years.

I shrugged and continued on. After another five minutes of walking past similar—though cleaner—doors, I found a particularly large and fancy one. I took a look at the text engraved on the wall next to it. “Library”.

That was enough to truly spark interest in me. I’d never been to a library before. Without putting any more thought into it, I pushed the heavy wooden door open and entered a gigantic room. The wall on the other side was covered in dozens of rows of books, while bookshelves easily six or seven times as tall as me occupied the centre. If I didn’t know any better, I would have thought this room was designed with flyers in mind. Lamps glowed all around, illuminating the entire room in a dim, cold and ghostly light.

Too bored for my own damn good, I shut the door and flew between the bookshelves and towards the centre of the library. The main alley was wide enough to comfortably fit twice my wingspan, though the passages between bookshelves would force me to fly sideways.

Everywhere around me, books kept catching my attention: a particularly fancy golden trim, a title not even close to readable, a volume so thick it could probably kill somepony just by falling.

Before the urge to touch everything could overwhelm me, I reminded myself to be a good guest. I might be in trouble if I took out a book and didn’t know where to return it.

Instead, I continued to the very centre of the library. Amidst the forest of giant bookshelves was a clearing with comparatively tiny tables, most as clean as they were empty.

All of them save for one: a single open book lay on top, with a few closed ones neatly piled up next to it. Looming over them stood a tall, unlit lamp.

I looked at the open book and hesitated. Well, I had the time, and I could certainly use the practice, couldn’t I? As long as I left everything like I’d found it, nopony would mind, right?

After I sat down on one of the chairs surrounding the table, I picked up the open book, stared at the page number until it was burnt into my memory. It would be rude to mess up the page number, after all. I flipped it back to the first page.

As much as I wanted to get better at reading, my daily routine didn’t allow me to spend all that much time on it. Once a week, I was even allowed to join a class of fillies and colts in their lessons. Unfortunately, I hadn’t been able to save up enough of my allowance to buy myself a book yet, but one day I would.

I turned my attention back to the book in front of me, and it took a while for my eyes to get used to the dark. I only had a vague idea how to light the lamp, and I didn’t want to risk breaking it.

Letters came together to form words, words came together to form sentences. Sentence by sentence, I slowly made my way down the page. The author was talking directly to the audience and was using a lot of fancy words that I’d never heard or seen before. Or maybe I’d heard them but didn’t recognise them. He was writing about how much this work meant to him now that he was in his later years, and I found myself wondering if perhaps the stallion was already dead.

The sound of a door creaking open snapped me out of my train of thought. Thankfully, I managed to keep myself from jumping out of my chair. Still, I suddenly realised just how out of place I was. What had I been thinking? I was in so much trouble, wasn’t I?

Much too soon for my liking, a tiny and cute pink mare walked around the corner, staring at one of the bookshelves. Her long black mane was tied into a neat little bun, and she was wearing a thick grey sweater that hung loosely off her form. Thin, round glasses sat on her muzzle.

With another step, she continued towards me, but it took her a few moments to spot me in the relative dark. She froze as her eyes met mine. “W-what are you doing here?” she stammered.

Something about her seemed off, but I hardly had the time to think about it. I answered her worried look with a sheepish smile. “I am, uh, reading? Am I not allowed here?” Play it cool, Silver, play it cool. Thankfully, the stress kicked me into proper speech. I’d have to thank my officers for that.

That seemed to only make her even more nervous. “I… uh… I do not know. N-normally we do not let guests access the p-private library.” She broke eye contact as she took a single step forward. Why was she more anxious than me?

“Oh, I’m terribly sorry, I will leave right now.” Sweet Sun, I was screwed. Absolutely, completely, and utterly doomed. “I just thought it would be alright since the door was unlocked. N-not that that is an excuse for my mistake.”

“I… it’s… uh… I think it is a-acceptable if you stay here? At least when I am also around. Th-that way you will not stumble upon any cursed books or anything forbidden.” I had to admit, her shyness was pretty adorable, especially with that posh way she spoke.

Wait a second, what? “C-cursed books?” My eyes went wide. “Please tell me this isn’t one of them…” I muttered, pointing at the book in front of me, trying to keep my eyes off it, as if it would change anything.

Worry spread on her face, and she cantered over to the table. It only took her one glance to calm down and sigh. “All these books are safe. I do not think anypony would leave anything dangerous open, let alone read it.”

I let out a breath I’d been holding and relaxed. She sat down, but once again refused to meet my gaze, once again as nervous as before. She reached for a book atop the pile, opened it at the marker’s page, and hunched over it.

She was pretty… I found myself staring. Her mane was unkempt and slightly greasy, and her cheek’s fur messy and possibly stained with drool. Normally I wouldn’t pay attention to such small details, but I wasn’t used to somepony looking less tidy than me, unless they were a peasant as well. Even our outfits were on two completely different levels.

Despite all that, she radiated an air of sophistication quite unlike anything I’d witnessed. Even in her current state, there was something about her I couldn’t quite put into words. Or maybe that was just because she was so bloody pretty, her face so delicate?

Before she could catch me staring, I asked, “I take it, you're the librarian?”

She briefly looked up from her book and let out a quiet “Hmm?” before blinking. “Oh, uh, yes, I am.” She ran a hoof through her mane.

I gave her a small smile, “What’s your name? I’m Silverstring, by the way.” Even if she was too shy to talk, I would be rude if I didn’t at least try to strike up a conversation.

“I am…” She mumbled something too quiet for me to understand.

My smile only grew at that. “Come again? I didn’t catch that.”

She took a deep breath, steeling. “My name is Book K-Keeper.”

“Pleasure to meet you, Keeper.”

She nodded and mumbled something that vaguely sounded like a “likewise”.

After a short moment of silence, she turned back to her book. She frowned, then touched the base of the lamp. After a few seconds, the crystal inside started emitting light. It was really that simple, huh. I stared at it in awe for a few seconds, but then focused on my own book.

It took a lot of focus not to steal glimpses at Keeper. I had to admit, I was really curious about her. The desire to chat her up and figure out what kind of pony she was burned bright and was hard to resist. Only her shy silence kept me from making a complete fool of myself. If I pushed it, I might come across as annoying, or worse, rude.

Paying me no mind, she stood up her book, practically hiding behind it. Finally free of distractions, I managed to return to the proper mindset for reading, though my thoughts did occasionally wander. Eventually, I grew more and more tired. I didn’t even know what time it was, but I knew I wanted to find my bed and practise playing dead for a few hours.

Still, I kept reading until a yawn made my eyes tear up. I cleared my throat and asked, “Hey, can I check this out?” It wasn’t the most entertaining book—then again, I’d only read a hoofful of page—but I’d started it, and I needed to practise.

“Uh-huh,” was all she answered from behind her book.

I hesitated for a moment then added, “Do… Do you need me to write down my name somewhere?”

“No, just bring it back when you’re done,” she replied with a wave of her hoof, and I left her to it.

As I picked up my book, I knew I was forgetting something. Oh well, it couldn't be important.

The way back to my room was surprisingly quick, given that I had no idea where I was heading and still managed to luck my way into finding the right door.

It didn’t take long for me to fall asleep once my head hit the ever-so-soft pillow.

Author's Note

fun fact, this chapter was edited over 7 times end to end.

and they don't stop coming and they don't stop coming

A2 — New Moon

I trotted down a dim passage. My steps echoed far into the distance. My fur stood on end. A shiver ran down my spine. I was safe. I gulped. This close to the sarosian housing area, I was safe. There were guards nearby. They kept these tunnels secure. A bang reverberated throughout the cave. Yelping, I spun around to face… nothing at all.

Somepony had dropped something, far away. Nothing to be worried about. Everything was fine. I was merely restless. I chuckled, only for it to come out forced and nervous.

Why had I come down here, again? I had planned for an entire month. Twenty days of research, yet I remained woefully under-prepared.

I required a distraction. Badly. However, much to my dismay, the only objects of interest nearby were the lights embedded into the arching brick wall: simple kyanite crystals resonating at sub-critical frequencies. Though far too dim for inhabited areas, they could last multiple decades, making them ideal for many of The Tower’s passageways and tunnels.

And… and… it was really dark. I gulped. That... that would merely facilitate hiding. Yes. Should something happen, I would hide in a shadow. Yes. I would be safe. Perfectly safe. Why was my breathing so damn loud?

Come on, come on, devise another avenue of thought. A spell, a novel, anything! I needed to stay calm. Clop. Calm. Clop. Calm. Clop. I took a deep, shaky breath. Stay calm. Calm, calm, calm, calm. Calm. Distraction. Needed a distraction.

Why was I this jumpy? There was nothing to be worried about. I would never achieve my goals if I failed to overcome simple fear. I was a mage of tremendous potential. Were I to encounter any hostile creature, it should dread me. It remained the only logical conclusion.

Besides, these corridors were safe. I was safe.

The distant chatter of ponies reached my ears. Though still out of sight, they would soon cross my path. With practised ease, I pulled the surrounding shadows over my form. A deep breath taken, I carried onward.

On the next step, my fears resurfaced. What if they noticed me? What if they caught me? The spell made me invisible to the naked eye, but did not fully conceal my presence. It only muffled my steps, and only masked my odour.

A few more steps, and they appeared from behind the bend. My gait slowed, nigh instinctively. I watched as the four sarosians trotted onward, their conversation merry and their tone light. Two had purple manes of similar shades as well as grey coats nearly identical. Another possessed a much lighter shade of grey, golden eyes set on her friends as she brushed aside a bang of carmine. The last trailed behind slightly, her mane and coat various hues of blue. I stared in awe at the group. The last time I had seen such a large and colourful crowd was during my fifth birthday, and these memories were blurry and distant.

I turned my attention back to the present. These ponies cared so very little about The Tower’s dangers. They merely trotted along in content ignorance. None of them showed any sign of noticing me as they walked past.

When the distance between us grew comfortable, I sighed and began walking. Finding myself relaxed, I speculated as to why. Certainly such a display would ease the belief of safety, would it not?

I let go of the shadows, allowing the spell to dissipate. Though I had no issues maintaining it, the inability to see where I stepped disconcerted me greatly. With my worries quenched and heart calm, time flowed freely, and I soon walked past a tight corridor branching off, opting to ignore it. Its claustrophobic space, coupled with its poor illumination, would surely rekindle my fears.

Likewise, the risk of losing my way outweighed any potential reward this path may promise. While I could retrace my steps with a spell, it was wiser to leave such exploration for another time, for my plan only included a single layer of contingency.

In contrast, if I followed the main artery between the serf layer and the sarosian housing, as I currently was, I could never get lost.

Shouts echoed out from the side hallway, tearing my mind away from its reverie. Thank fortune I had the clarity of mind not to set out on that path. I briefly froze before once again disappearing into thin air. Just in time, for the voices drew closer. “Left! Go left! We’re much closer to the serf layer at this point!”

A moment later, a group of knights burst into the corridor, flying towards me. Two mostly intact sarosians each carried on their backs a pony trailing blood. The remaining two, though injured and hardly able to stay airborne, led the way and were the first to pass me.

As the rest of them rushed past, the extent of their wounds became apparent. Blood poured from deep gashes at an alarming rate, while barely attached chunks of skin and fur flapped in the wind. My gaze caught on the hindleg of one of the two. Not only was it bent at an unnatural angle, but how it dangled twisted my stomach. With every flap of her wings, it swung in a different direction, threatening to come off.

I stood there for an eternal instant, unable to tear my eyes from it. Only when the second half of the group came near did my gaze land somewhere else. Somewhere worse. One of the knights being carried clutched something pinkish grey and glossy against her side.

When the smell caught up to me, I realised what it was. Only the paralysing horror kept me from screaming and vomiting. Perhaps I did scream, only to be muffled by my spell.

The dull thud of a pony crashing reverberated weakly through the tunnel. It was so far away.

One of the mares right next to me snapped, “Leave her. If you try to save her, you’ll both die.” She too was far away.

“But…” Everything was so far away.

“At best you’ll lose consciousness trying to carry her. At worst, that thing got past Carmine and will be here any second. So go, and that’s an order!”

I blinked. They carried on.

Who were these ponies? Why were they here? Where was “here”? How had they been injured?

The world fell into place, shattering my peace. Without a second thought, I broke into a canter, heedless of the noise. Though my lungs soon began to burn, the knights still outpaced me. Within a few moments, seconds, or minutes, I lost sight of them.

I was alone. My heart thumped, threatening to give out, as I reached another split in the tunnels. Panting, vision blurring, I slowed down and took a few precious seconds to think.

To my left, the staircase to the serf area, the knights’ trails of blood leading down. To my right, a smaller tunnel, even dimmer than the one they had come from.

The beast was bound to follow their trail, was it not? Could I run down these stairs without hurting myself? Was it even still pursuing its prey? My heart’s thunder eclipsed any sounds the monster might have made.

I gulped and stared at the right tunnel. It was the safe option, but oh so horrifying.

I took a step forward. I needed to be quiet again so that it wouldn’t follow me. Step. Slowly. Step. No, not slowly. I had to keep a normal pace. Step. I had to stay calm. Step. There was no reason to be nervous. Step. The beast still had a considerable distance to cross. Step. I didn’t even hear it. It had to be far away.

Step. If it still wasn’t here, it wasn’t even pursuing them. I was safe. Step. Yes, I was safe. At least twenty seconds had passed already. No, definitely more. It had to be more. Yet the tunnel refused to change. Barely lit up by the gems. Dark.

It had been so easy before, why could I not relax? Step. I needed to stop thinking. Step. Or think about something else. Step. Every time my hoof came down, my heart pounded faster. Could I survive this? Step. Even if the monster never caught up to me, my weak heart might not survive such stress. Step. The sound of a pebble rolling far, far behind me reverberated softly. Step. It was just a pebble, and not the first I had heard. Everything was fine. Step. Everything was fine. Step.

An ear-shattering screech echoed throughout the tunnels. I had not recovered yet, but I broke into a gallop. The clang of my hooves on stone thundered, but I didn’t care. The sound was overshadowed by the pounding of my heart. The fire in my lungs burned away any thoughts other than to flee.

A dozen stairs, leading up. My legs betrayed me, unable to keep up. I tripped. The hard edge of a stair dug into the underside of my jaw. My throat slammed shut as I tried to gasp, tried to scream. Tears filled my eyes. Pain spread throughout my entire skull, eclipsing even the fiery agony in my lungs. I couldn’t keep running like this.

No, this was nothing! My surgeries hurt more than this, and for longer! For months! I had to keep running. I had to. I picked myself off the stairs, wiped my tears, and broke into a canter. I would go further if I paced myself.

The pain held my panic at bay for a while, but soon my vision was swimming, my ears ringing. My heart would give out at any moment now. Running was as likely to get me killed as—

A large pebble dug into my frog when I brought down my entire body weight on it. My throat croaked as I gasped, then yelped. My lungs on fire, my hoof searing with pain, I collapsed, tears running down my cheeks. My last thread of concentration snapped, and my spell dropped.

Tears of pain mixed with tears of disappointment, blended with those of fear. I was going to die. The monster would catch up any moment now and it would rip me to shreds. I lay there, my quiet sobs echoing throughout the tunnel. Me, an adventurer? A jest lacking any comedy. Mere, tiny noises drove me to panic. I was no dashing noblemare rescuing bachelors in a bind. I was a damsel who had never before left the confines of her cushy home. A weakling, a coward.

Mother only knew how long I lay there, wallowing in self-pity. Dying here was possibly the best outcome for my life. No more deluded dreams, no more delirious reveries. Just like the old gods, I would be killed by a monster unnamed.

Except I was still alive. Was my mind truly so feeble that such trivial pain had me crave death? No, I would not tolerate it. I could not let it come to pass. Slowly, I breathed out and allowed my eyes to flutter open.

Sniffling, I wiped away my tears. Though it was still dark, the tunnel had grown much clearer. Neither end was visible, but the quiet rush of distant water meant the exit was close.

I should run, I’ll die otherwise!

No. Were the monster still after me, it would have caught up already. I sat up and massaged my sore hind hoof. I winced from the pain, but breathed a sigh of relief when I failed to find any open wounds. Groaning, I heaved myself into a sitting pose.

My neck, however, had not fared as well. Sticky blood seeped into my fur as I touched my foreleg to my jaw. The wound burnt, though would soon scab. The crust and bruise would be difficult to hide, however, and I lacked any means to disinfect the cut right now. By the time I returned to the estate, it would already be too late.

Groaning, I pushed myself onto my legs, shaky as they were, and started towards the sound of water. A few steps later, I once more donned my cloak of shadows. Despite the strange tranquillity washing over me, I opted for safety.

Before the minute turned, my mind wandered again.

I was indeed no dashing noblemare, and would woo nopony with my bravery. Were I to try, it would naught but be a front. Yet my plight was my own to overcome, and overcome it I would. It was long past time I seize my destiny and assume my role. My role as the hero and protagonist of a story my own. Though I was little more than a skittish filly, this would only serve to sweeten my journey’s reward.

And I would have a neat scar to mark the beginning of said journey.

In the distance, the wall grew brighter with every step I took. I would become a knight, no matter Father’s protests.

My mind abuzz, I reached the turn far faster than expected. Excited, I rushed forward, ignoring my tired legs’ complaints. A gentle breeze blew through my sweat-drenched coat, coaxing a shudder from me. I ignored it as well. The air was far too light for me to stop here.

As I stepped into the open, the sound of water boomed, but my grin froze a second later. Endless black stretched out in front of me, only broken by occasional stalactites lit by the town’s lights far below. Tiny ponies milled about small buildings, their features indistinct from such a distance. The void beyond the edge so close grew infinitely more terrifying as my mind finally fathomed the fall.

Through willpower far beyond possible, I managed to tear my eyes away from the horrible cliff. The stalactites possessed a blue tint, their sharp tips glistening in the cold light. They only grew wider and wider as they reached further up, never stopping, blending into the infinite black above.

I screamed, overtaken by vertigo as I fell onto my rump. After an eternal instant, the echo of my own voice tore me out of shock.

I trotted out onto the main artery of the servants’ quarters, making a deliberate effort not to look up. Near the main road, some buildings stood two or even three storeys tall, blocking out most of the… sky? Perhaps the most fitting word to describe an endless black above.

This early in the morning, most serfs were preparing for their shifts, while some were already running errands. On the one hoof, more ponies implied more eyes to notice me. On the other, I would stick out far less. I checked over myself one more time to make sure I fit in, comparing my accoutrement to theirs and looking for other ponies covering their heads with cloth. Fortunately, nothing had changed since my previous assessment, and my simplistic garb hardly attracted attention.

My worries were highly unfounded. Were somepony to find me out of place, they would remain ignorant of my identity. With the many slight magical alterations made to my appearance, nopony short of Father or Aurora would recognise me. An illusion even hid my recent scab.

The complaint of someone trying to squeeze past me snapped me out of my thoughts, and I followed the stream of ponies heading into the market.

I looked around for interesting stalls or shops, but amongst so many others, none stood out. Everything caught my attention; picking a starting point proved difficult.

I walked past the alley where all the weapon handlers held their stalls. Despite myself, I took a few steps back and glanced between the buildings. It would hardly hurt to look, would it? They had so many items of interest, and I had not seen half of them yesterday!

My eyes landed on a dagger, as sharp as it was beautiful. It would help me gather my courage. Without a shadow of a doubt, it would allow me to drive back my fear when venturing out to the prison layer.

I gritted my teeth and turned away. I had nothing to pay with. No, perhaps that was not the entire truth. While I did not carry any tokens, I had lost no blood in recent times. I genuinely needed that dagger, and its price of nineteen tokens was far from unreasonable. Losing almost two litres of blood would weaken me, though not beyond repair. Such a dagger, however, would solve all my issues. I pivoted once again, almost crashing into a stallion.

I shone him a timid, apologetic smile, and he grumbled something under his breath before walking past me.

Was this really a good idea? Such severe blood loss carried non-negligible risk. I started trotting back down the main road. I could always acquire tokens from somewhere else and save up. My family owned The Tower. Certainly I could devise a plan to line my own pockets. If I failed to find any valuables lying around, I could always skip a dozen meals here and there, and eventually I would have my dagger.

Besides, the alley’s additional guards watched closely, in case a serf attempted to seize a weapon. One stroke of bad luck, and I might end up detained for one reason or another. Then, Aurora would find out, and would ruin everything. It would only be a matter of time before—

I needed to think about something else.

What else could I look at? Clothing, tools, food, some stands even sold books! What a wonderful place, filled with so many wonders. Instead of wasting any more time, I turned to the nearest stand. It sold clothes.

I soon lost track of time, and after close to an hour of staring at wares in the market, I now stood just outside the town’s lower exit, in desperate need for a break from the crowd.

A stallion trotted past me, heading for the gate to the prison layer. His face betrayed his concern at the idea of heading down there. His features remained delicate, despite the emotion painted over them. Was this my chance?

“Hey, you,” I called out to him. This would be my first opportunity to test my peasant lingo. How exciting!

He turned his head, his ornate tin collar pressing uncomfortably into his neck. “Me?”

I nodded. “Are you heading down?”

“Yes…” His eyes scanned me for a moment. “Do you… need anything?”

“I’m, uh, headed down as well, and I wanted to ask if you wanted to go with me.” I rubbed the back of my head and let out a nervous chuckle. “I’ve only recently started working here, you see.” I had more experience navigating these tunnels now. I was not scared anymore, and the desire to show that off would surely make me braver still.

“The Reindusk Prison. I have a message to deliver.” One of the richer families, as expected given the intricate design on the collar. “I’m pretty new too.”

“Oh, that’s near where I’m headed as well.” Mentally, I pleaded for him not to ask about my precise task. That part of my cover story was… patchy, to put it in polite terms. I took a few steps towards him, and he waited for me to catch up.

"So, uh, what family do you work for?" he asked as we trotted.

"Farrier." One of the smaller houses who nevertheless employed many ponies and owned as many serfs. A good bet to blend in. "Name’s Avens, by the way." The rest of my backstory claimed that I was the bastard, hybrid child of one of the lower-ranked bats in the family, and that only recently turned old enough to work. My supposed status as a hybrid was intended as a way to explain my lack of batlike appearance.

In theory, I could have done without any sarosian ties, but without a connection to the bat families ruling The Tower, the odds of getting into trouble rose dramatically. For instance, somepony might wonder why I wore no serf collar. With a clear link to an influential family, nopony would question why I was free, at least not immediately.

Or perhaps, I was being overly cautious. After all, non-sarosian employees existed, and though they were rarer and—

"I’m Andesite, good to meetcha. What kind of name’s Avens, though?"

"It’s a flower name."

I sat on the ground. The cold, hard ground. As long as I focused on the discomfort, my thoughts would remain where I wanted them, away from—

The ground was cold and hard. Maybe a little damp, too? Difficult to tell. Perhaps the cold was seeping into my bones. Would I risk illness from this? My rump was awfully chilled. How long had I been sitting here, watching the gate to the estate? An hour? Ninety minutes?

I habitually pulled out my watch, only for my gaze to pass right through the invisible device.

I groaned, the sound muffled by the spell. How much longer? I had made sure to be back before Aurora left the estate, but I had severely underestimated how long she would stay inside. Did she usually stay as long? Then again, part of the issue came from me coming back early due to—

I tapped my hoof on the cold, hard rock beneath me. I wanted to take a bath, not wait around. There had to be a better way in and out of the estate. Having to stand by until somepony opened the gate was utterly infuriating and such a gargantuan waste of my time. Perhaps another passage existed?

Minutes ticked by as my thoughts idled, wandering through forests of speculation and ideas. I found myself growing less and less patient for Aurora to finish her dinner. I craved being back inside and exploring my options, and I needed to rest up so that I could try again tomorrow. I did not want to wait. Today had been a huge failure, but I would not let that stop me. I would make sure to learn from my mistakes and grab onto my courage with all four legs. Never again would I let a simple dog reduce me to a screeching, babbling mess hiding behind the colt I had vowed to protect.

I gritted my teeth as I remembered the scene. I could never see him again, not after such embarrassment. I had been acting so tough, and I even made up a story about fighting off a monster twice my height.

I buried my head in my hooves, as if it could help me escape the shame. Maybe… maybe I needed to go back to the drawing board. I could not endure another failure like that. I needed to learn more magic, read more horror, and more romance. I had barely even known what to say to him past the basic introductions, and here I had thought myself an expert on these things!

I wanted to scream. So what if the posted guards heard me? I needed to evacuate this from my system…

In agonising boredom, I waited for another twenty or thirty minutes. Every passing moment, the temptation to fess up grew. Father would hear about it, and would treat me like a foal, but this boredom was poisoning my mind.

Just as I was telling myself to be patient for the forty-third time, the lock clicked, and the heavy door started moving. Before it could fully open, I stood in front, ready to slip past Aurora.

But when she did step through, I was shocked to see another pony.

Father’s guest, the awfully rude pegasus, walked alongside Aurora. An unfamiliar coat of arms was crudely emblazoned on his garb. What in Tartarus was he doing here?

Well, whatever he wanted down there was no skin off my back.

Author's Note

Oh damn, that one scene was a lot gorier than I remembered writing. And here I told someone the gore wasn't too bad.
I might just go and tone it down if someone complains.

S3 — Twilight

I followed the butler as he escorted me to the dining hall. I was less than thrilled at the idea of a dinner with nobles, but I’d used up all my excuses during the last couple of days.

Even the trip over to the dining hall stressed me out. I tried to make small talk with Haste, but even when I found a good question to ask, the answer was always much too short and to the point to spark a conversation. My ear flicked. We’d only been walking for a few minutes, but the short journey was dragging on.

I turned my attention to the hallway in a last-ditch effort to distract myself from my imminent doom. Everything was the same as always. Indistinct door, followed by a stretch of marble wall, followed by yet another indistinct door. I held in a scream of despair. Each step took me closer to my downfall. Each step took me closer to polite company that would judge me, and find me lacking in every possible way.

Yes, I should use that as an opportunity to make them know my name, to maybe get in their good graces. But I couldn’t.

The day had started off so well, too! I couldn’t remember much of my dream, but I’d woken up with a grin on my face. It had involved a nice mare, but my knowledge ended there.

She’d been polite company, too, hadn’t she? If only I could remember more of that dream. Maybe then I would stop stressing out so bloody much! These nobles would tear me to shreds, and I couldn’t fight back, not like I could when facing those weird bat monsters!

Stop thinking! I stared at an engraved plate as I trotted past it. Arch… was all I managed to make out before I walked out of range. I barely managed to hold in a groan as I continued behind Haste. My tail flicked. I struggled to catch even one proper breath. Maybe I could convince him that I was still too weak to leave my room? Would he buy it? He wouldn’t buy it. Why would he buy it?

We passed a side corridor to the right. A lot shorter than the usual hallway, actually. At the end of it stood a door held shut by chains converging in the middle, where a large lock held everything in place.

A moment later, it was out of sight, but it had burnt itself into my mind. I’d have to come back and take a look. It would be rude to try and open it, but I couldn’t contain my curiosity. The thoughts somehow kept me occupied until we finally reached the dining hall, barely a minute later.

Oh sweet Sun, we were here. I hadn’t prepared anything. I didn’t know how to act! What could I say? I needed more bloody time!

Haste pushed the heavy door open. I gulped. Around the table sat four ponies. I recognised Halterdawn, and the bastard damn near scoffed when he saw me. I stared at the large grey batpony stallion at the end of the table for a good few seconds, before realising I’d met him. He’d saved me back in The Tower. His glare made me take a step backwards and gulp.

I broke eye contact, looking at the remaining two ponies. One of them, a brown stallion, couldn’t be more than a decade older than me. True to his word, Halterdawn seemed to think of him as a colt as well. He hadn’t even noticed me, too absorbed in holding the enthusiastic side of a conversation with Halterdawn.

The last one was a dark purple batpony mare. Her pink mane held several streaks of grey, despite her relatively young face. Maybe in her hundred-and-twenties? Hundred and forty tops.

She held a glass of wine in the… hook? of her wing as she turned to me. “If it ain’t the colt who attempted to slice open one of me knights! Sit down, laddie, come on!” Okay, maybe I had no reason to stress out about this, given a noble here had drunk enough to imitate a cheap Northern accent. The grey one still bloody creeped me out, though.

How should I even respond to this? Play it safe? “Oh, uh, sorry. I couldn’t really see all that well, and I—”

She shushed me with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. “She’s fine. Your swing wasn’t really hard to dodge. Besides, you should apologise to her, not me.” She waved me over. “Now, come.”

I walked over to the table, glad she’d broken the ice for me. What were these batponies doing at the Hockneys’ manor? Unless… unless I was still in The Tower.

I nearly tripped over my own hooves.

The mare raised an eyebrow. “You okay there, laddie?” No time to think; had to appear sophisticated. I nodded.

I sat down next to her, awfully aware of the judgemental looks everypony else was giving me. Well, everypony except the brown stallion, who hadn’t stopped talking Halterdawn’s ears off.

So much for not needing to be nervous.

The mare didn’t wait for me to come up with something to say. “My name’s Aurora, by the way. I’m the Captain of the Fell Knights.” Just like that, her fake accent was forgotten. She then pointed to the large batpony stallion, who was now staring daggers at the two of us. “This here is my uncle—well, technically we’re cousins of some kind, but I never bothered to learn that stuff—Viscount Gaunt Fell. I believe you’re familiar with the other two, so let’s skip introductions.” I didn’t bother to correct her.

I cleared my throat as I looked at Aurora, then at the viscount, and gathered my courage. “My name is Silverstring. It is an honour to meet you.” Hopefully my manners were adequate enough.

The viscount grunted a response, but stopped glowering at me. Aurora swiftly filled the silence. “I’m told you’re quite a flyer and a decent fighter to boot, Silver.” I raised an eyebrow. “I’ll get right to the point. I could really use the help of somepony like you right now. Once you’ve recovered, that is.”

I blinked. “Me? But I work for house Hockney, and they’ll be expecting me to return soon. As soon as I feel better, really.”

“Trust me, they’ll understand,” she said with a gentle smile.

“Still… I’d rather get back. Nothing against you, I just… I wanna make a good impression; that’s why I work so hard. In fact, I’d prefer it if you just told me how to leave this place, and I’ll be out of your mane before dawn.” Wasn’t a very elegant speech, but in my humble opinion, it respectfully—or was it ‘respectively’?—got the point across.

Apparently, I didn’t show enough respect, because the Viscount glared at me again. “You don’t leave.” And there was that.

Hopefully he was just exaggerating to be dramatic, but that line of questioning would have to wait. Maybe Aurora would know a way out if I asked her in private. It wouldn’t hurt to get on her good side, first, then.

After an awkward and long silence, I turned to Aurora and said, “Well, tell me more. What would I need to do? Does it have to do with those monsters I fought?”

She shrugged. “Yes and no. Dealing with the Forsaken is my job—well, among other things—but you’d be making it easier by assisting in other ways and with my other duties.” Was she even still drunk? She slightly slurred her words, and her cheeks held a tint of pink, but she made too much sense.

“Just so you know, I’m not really that good of a fighter.” I offered an apologetic grin, but she just raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I’m fast and strong, but I don’t know how well I’d do in an actual fight. I’m just a hunter.” Best set her expectations low, false modesty be damned.

But then, those griffins really did put me in my place. Even the slow, mindless bat beasts had gotten the better of me. Was—

“Oh don’t you worry, I’m not asking you to fight, I could just really use another pony who can help me out without me needing to hold their hoof.” Her tired smile showed how much she needed the help. She lowered her tone. “If or when you do get out, I’ll make sure to put in a good word with your supervisor at House Hockney.”

Still too loud: the viscount let out an annoyed sigh, but in the end turned his attention away from us.

I met Aurora’s gaze and took a deep breath. “Alright, I’ll help you out, but…” How could I say this in a polite way? “But I won’t do anything that House Hockney wouldn’t approve of, if that’s alright with you, ma’am?” My tail flicked.

She relaxed and nodded.

After a moment of silence, I remembered a question that had been trotting around my head for far too long. “By the way, what were those monsters I killed? You called them Forsaken?”

“There isn’t much I can tell you. They used to be ponies, but they’ve found a fate worse than death, and they are confined to the bottom of The Tower, beyond a seal. Usually, live ponies aren’t supposed to be down there.” My brow furrowed more with every word she spoke.

“So why was I there?”

“By complete accident,” replied the viscount in a low, dangerous tone. “Something went wrong when you descended into The Tower. You ended up at the bottom. It is as simple as that.”

After hesitating for a moment, I said, “Well, that does raise a question…” The viscount glared at me, but I swallowed my fear. “Why am I here in the first place?”

“We were paid to take you in.”

I pointed at my chest, and mouthed, “Me?”

“No, him.” He pointed towards Halterdawn, who grimaced at the sudden attention. “Given that you are his retainer, it is our obligation to treat you as we treat him.”

That set off all manner of bloody alarm bells, but I could think about it later. “I see, thank you.” I hardly understood any of this, but my courage had reached its limits. And hey, pretending to be his retainer might work out for me in the long term. Not sure exactly how, but it might.

So, I remained silent for the rest of the dinner, relieved the attention had moved away from me.

My line of thought was interrupted by Haste and two other servants as they brought in food. Mushrooms in some form or another made up most of the meal, but there was also a small bowl of carrots, and one of rice.

I nearly drew their judgement again when I served myself twice as much as Aurora. Luckily, no one actually noticed. Still, why did she eat so little? Bloody nobles!

A bird chirped in a nearby tree, at the edge of the clearing.

“And then, the Captain went to find me a tunic, and I took a few minutes to transplant the Hockney coat of arms onto it. I still need to fix up the patchwork, though.”

Selena, the blue unicorn sitting across me under the gazebo, set aside the spoon she had used to stir her tea. “Were you allowed to see the lower levels?”

I nodded. “The door to get out of the estate was really thick. For some reason, there was a weird air current right as we walked through it, but nopony else seemed to notice it.” With a couple of careful flaps, I moved my cloud over to the table and lifted my own cup. I blew on my tea before taking a tiny, careful sip. “She showed me where my weapons are, then gave me a quick tour of the servant layer. Said she woulda showed me more, but had to go back to work. Gave permission to look around a bit, though, so that’s nice.”

“And did you?” She smiled at me. She may have been a noble, but Selena was really easy to talk to. Her soothing, kind nature completely disarmed any fear of judgement.

“Mhm. Mostly around the market and things like that, ’cause she gave me a few coins to arm myself. Since, you know, I lost my shortsword when I fought those griffins.” I swirled my tea and watched it spin, expecting her to say something in reply. When she didn’t, I continued, “Guess I also took a quick look around the nearby mushroom farms, but that’s about it.”

Her smile as graceful as ever, she set down her cup on the table. “Did anything strike you as odd? I apologise if the question is too direct, but I like to make sure ponies acclimate well to The Tower.”

“Uh, not that I know of. Was I supposed to?” I nibbled at the inside of my mouth, trying to think of something.

“No,” she said casually. “I was merely curious.” Her smile faltered very briefly. Or did I imagine that?

When she magically lifted her cup, a short silence stretched over the clearing. Was something supposed to be odd? In a way, everything about this place stood out, but nothing especially so.

Sure, it had buildings like I’d never seen before. Sure, the Captain was a little eccentric. Sure, they used a different currency than the rest of Trotland. Sure, they grew other crops. Overall, too much weird stuff made it hard to pick one out in particular. At least I could buy the same weapons as outside, and for the same unaffordable prices—from my own savings, at least.

Wait a second… “Actually… It’s a bit of a dumb thing to pick up on, but out of all the ways to make money, selling my blood is by far the weirdest. I didn’t think that much about it when the Captain told me, but why would they need blood?”

I scratched the underside of my muzzle as I thought. The only explanation was… “It’s really stupid, but do you think they might need the blood to, I don't know, inject into the veins of somepony who lost a lot of it?”

Selena chuckled. “I don’t see why not. It would make sense, too, given how often the knights have to fight.”

Despite my best efforts to appear calm, collected, and mature, I found myself grinning like a foal. “Of course it does! Oh, thank you so much for making me think about it!”

My joy was cut short by disappointment. In my time here, I’d missed at least four days of school. I shook my head, prompting a confused look from Selena. I had access to a library and a lot of free time. Even without a teacher, I had to make the most of it. “I’m just thinking I should spend more time in the library.”

Selena’s smile grew smug. “Oh? Still trying to get the librarian’s attention?”

I broke eye contact and mumbled, “It’s not that. I just need to learn more.”

She chuckled. “There is nothing to be ashamed of, Silver. She is a pretty, young mare around your age; it is only natural.”

I rubbed the back of my neck with a sheepish smile on my face. “I know, I know, it’s just a bit silly for somepony like me to have a crush on an earth pony working a cushy earth pony job.”

Selena said something in reply, but my thoughts were elsewhere. The ponies working the fields…

“They were earth ponies!” I exclaimed, before realising how rude my interruption was.

Yet Selena didn’t mind, only raising a curious eyebrow.

Cheeks flushing with embarrassment, I explained, “I remembered something else that was weird. The ponies working the fields, they were earth ponies.”

“Oh? How is that odd?” She had the same expression as before. She knew the answer, but wanted me to look for it myself.

“Well, earth ponies don’t usually work physical jobs, they usually work in offices and stuff like that.” Her expression told me to keep digging. “But then, I never really thought about why that is.”

I furrowed my brow, but before I could lose myself in thought, Selena said, “Why don’t you ask your librarian friend about it?”

I shook my head. “I wasn’t exaggerating when I said she’s not interested in me. If anything, that’s an under-exaggeration. If that’s even a word.” I furrowed my brow and shook off the thought. “I’ve tried chatting her up multiple times, and I always get short answers. It’s kinda obvious she doesn’t wanna talk to me.”

“What have you tried talking about?”

“Oh, just small things,” I said with a casual wave of my hoof. “Like where she’s from, the kind of food she likes. I’m really starting to run out of conversation starters.”

Selena gave me a knowing, gentle smile. The kind that truly made her wisdom show; the same as my mom often put on when she tried to teach me something. “Perhaps she simply has no interest in small topics? What if you asked her something more meaningful? She strikes me as an intellectual; perhaps she would enjoy sharing her knowledge?”

I blinked. “You think that would work? She didn’t seem very enthusiastic about answering my other questions about The Tower, like where exactly I was, or how long it would be before I could leave. And…” A few pieces of the puzzle connected, and my string of thought snapped, followed by one huge realisation. “Wait a second… Why didn’t you tell me where I am last time we talked?”

How many more things like this had I bloody missed?

Her expression turned serious for a moment, and she let out a small sigh. “I am sorry. I meant no harm, I merely thought it best for you to figure it out by yourself. In general, wouldn’t you agree that learning things on your own is a better way to acquire knowledge?”

My face scrunched up, and I had to concede her point. “I suppose.”

Soon enough, her smile returned. “I am happy to hear.” She smelled the tea before lifting the cup to her lips. “By the way, how is your neck? Are you feeling any better? If you do not mind the change of subject.”

I shrugged. “Yeah. Dunno how. Somehow, I’m pretty much back to one hundred percent. I’ve always been quick to get back on my hooves, but this… this is weird. I mean, I ain’t gonna complain that my wound no longer hurts. Or my head.” Another oddity that I’d completely overlooked.

She furrowed her brow. “Curious. The wound was indeed rather severe.”

“Mhm.” I didn’t have anything else to say, but my thoughts were racing. I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax. I’d give myself a headache at this rate. Thinking wasn’t my strong suit.

We sat in silence for a while, enjoying the tea. Tea usually wasn’t my thing—I mostly lacked the patience to wait for it to cool down—but this cup already had the perfect temperature. Warm enough to force me to take my time, but not so hot as to scald me from a single sip.

I looked around for a moment. The conversation had been so captivating that I had barely thought about the surroundings. We were in a clearing, inside a dense forest like the one I’d grown up in. If I paid attention, I could hear monsters and animals, far in the distance.

Selena interrupted my thoughts. “You seem awfully calm, considering our environment, Silver.”

I shrugged. “I dunno, the really dangerous stuff doesn’t show itself in daylight, and for some reason this clearing just feels safe, you know? I can’t quite place it. I’m sure Aunt Ferris could tell you exactly why this clearing has nothing to worry about, but I just have my instinct.”

Selena nodded. “I see. I shall take your word, Silverstring.”

Now it was my turn to furrow my brow. “Wait, so easily? Ain’t you scared?”

“When you reach my age, you learn to trust ponies’ instincts. They tend to be right more often than not.”

“Your age? You don’t look so old, Your Highness.”

“Looks can be deceiving, young one.” She smiled. Another smile like Mom always wore. A smile that meant I would understand when I was older. No, not quite. This one was a lot more distant. A lot more sad.

She lifted her cup, once again using her telekinesis, and that new sensation washed over me again. Something was off. Something was odd. Weird.

But what? I stared at her floating cup for a dozen seconds before it finally struck me. “You’re using telekinesis, Your Highness! I’m sorry for distracting you and getting you to—” The world shook.

“Silverstring, calm down. I will be fine. There is no need to concern yourself.” She kept her tone gentle, but authoritative, and I found myself obeying even without a second thought.

I didn’t understand why she stayed so calm despite it, but the world shook again, and I forgot what I was confused about.

Everything shook yet again, and I realised that it was somepony knocking at my door, “Whadayawant?” I slurred, stifling a yawn.

Today was going to be a good day. Partly because I was finally going to start doing things other than read and rest, also because of how damn well I’d slept.

I was trotting down the hallway in the batpony housing area, near the passage to the lower levels, headed for the Captain’s office. She would be stuck doing paperwork and planning out her knights’ missions. She still wouldn’t tell me what exactly those missions were, but she probably had a good reason for it, so I couldn’t hold it against her.

To my surprise, nopony guarded her office. Then again, given her lack of staff, it made sense she wouldn’t care to protect somepony who knew how to fight back. Besides, anypony coming up here to attack her would likely meet a guard along the way, and that would have to be good enough.

I knocked on her door and was immediately invited in. Once I stepped inside, she finished writing a sentence, then looked up at me, faint surprise painted on her face. Then, she gave a smile that quickly grew into a grin, in stark contrast with the dark rings under her eyes. “Oh, Silver, I’m very glad to see you today. I thought I’d need to wait a bit longer.” She shook her head. “Anyway. There’s been a terrible amount of pockets opening, and I could use your help.”

Somehow, I ended up smiling. For once, I was needed. I’d be useful to somepony. “Pockets?”

“Oh, right, you wouldn’t know. Sorry. They’re like…” She waved her hoof in a circle. “Passages that are usually closed, but occasionally open.” I raised an eyebrow, and she chuckled. “It’s difficult to explain, but they usually contain valuable resources. Ores, gems. Unfortunately, they tend to be… inhabited. Sometimes by things groups of mundane guards wouldn’t be able to deal with.”

“Oh, and you want me to help?” I jumped into the air and boxed some shadows. “Count me in, I always love to see action!” And it was the fastest way to prove my worth.

She shook her head and rolled her eyes. “Let me finish, please.” I smiled sheepishly as I landed, then rubbed the back of my neck with my ears flattened against my head. “That’s why we send in scout teams first, to ascer—”

My ears perked up, and I gasped. “Oh, I can—”

The Captain’s mirth vanished, and she cut me off with a glare. She cleared her throat, and just as quickly as it had left, her smile came back. “To ascertain the danger. It’s a careful balancing act, since we’re so short on personnel.” She frowned. “Last week, I misjudged a pocket and got two mares killed and three more injured.” She tried to keep her tone level, but guilt and sadness still bled through.

She sighed, and this time her expression stayed serious. “Now, the vast majority of pockets can be dealt with by a single pair of knights.” Oh, I really wanted to become one of them. With my experience fighting monsters, I’d make a great Knight. The Captain had to see it.

Despite my excitement, I somehow managed to stay quiet. The Captain either didn’t see it, or didn’t care. “Unfortunately, there’s a lot of overhead in communication. I won’t go into the details, but it’s pretty hard to keep those smaller squads busy at all times, so they end up wasting a lot of time waiting on orders.” She pointed to me. “That’s where you come in. I need you to act as a runner between squads. If a scout team finds a dangerous pocket, deliver their report to me.”

My entire body deflated. It was still important work, and it would still get me noticed, but I could do more. So much more. Why did nopony see how much I was capable of? “Right. Anything else?” Please say yes, please say yes.

Her mood gradually picked up, and she chuckled. “Well, maybe not for today, since finding your way around The Tower will suck up a lot of your time, but after that… There’s a pile of equipment that needs maintaining, swords that need sharpening, et cetera.”

I tried my best to not voice my disappointment, but the Captain saw through it, and her smile turned sheepish. “On second thought, you’re definitely capable enough to help with public order missions.” I tilted my head and cocked my ear. “Usually, a family and their guards are responsible for their prisons and their vassals. Sometimes, things get out of control, and they need us knights to step up and protect their own.”

At that, my face lit up, and I saluted with a wing. “What orders should I deliver?” Only a matter of time before I could prove myself! I could endure.

She held up a hoof, shuffled around some papers from the chaotic piles in front of her, and took out a half dozen scrolls. Then, she leaned to the side of her desk and pulled out a few notes. “Could you deliver these”—she pointed to the scrolls—“to the ponies at the locations detailed in those?” She gestured to the notes.

I nodded as I pulled the stack of papers. Judging by her smile and sigh, I would make her day a whole lot easier, even if my task was a little bit too mundane for my liking.

“They’re not anywhere too hard to reach, but I figured a detailed description of the way wouldn’t hurt, given how new you are to The Tower. In the evening I might have you deliver some of my personal mail, but that can wait.”

I would have groaned if not for the horrifying sight in front of me. It took one look at her chicken scratch to almost make me go back on my word. Deciphering those notes would hurt my very soul, and would probably be harder than actually reaching those places.

I was about to leave when I decided to ask her a question. “What’s on the notes I’m supposed to deliver?” If she was making me read her terrible mouthwriting, she at least owed me that answer. I could always read them myself, but that was supposedly bad manners.

“Just their standing orders, which pockets they should check out, and so on. Oh, and one of them has some information about you. Good thing I wrote it in advance.”

When I reached for the scrolls, she stopped me with a wing. “Hold on, I almost forgot,” she said with a sheepish smile. “Before you go… If you’re going to be wandering on your own throughout The Tower, you’ll need to put this on.” She pulled open a drawer and took out a simple silver collar. As she pushed it towards me, she revealed the Fell coat of arms engraved on its side.

I tilted my head, but she cut me off before I could voice my confusion. “It shows that you work for me. You should keep it on whenever you’re in public, for the guards might give you trouble otherwise. It’s platinum, and has my house’s coat of arms on it.”

I raised my eyebrows. “Anything more?” This was becoming annoying, if only slightly.

“I suppose I should warn you about the sarosian residents of The Tower. You should always treat them with utmost respect. Even though you work directly underneath me, they rarely take kindly to an outsider acting like they’re on equal hoofing.”

“Oh, that won’t be a problem.” I chuckled. “I’m used to being at the bottom of the social ladder.”

She let out a hearty laugh which quickly petered out and turned into a pained smile.

S4 — Midnight

I took a swig of water from my flask. My wings ached with every flap. Things had been particularly hectic today for the knights, so I ended up having to do multiple trips to and back from the Captain’s office. Worse, many of those messages had been urgent.

At some point, a single group of scouts had me do three back-and-forths, each of which took fifteen minutes! I wanted to complain to the Captain, but after seeing her face when she read their notes, I decided not to. Even if my job was as mundane as it was tiring, I couldn’t deny its importance, and that I was helping. She still refused to tell me any of the details, of course…

Now, I was on my final delivery mission for the day. The recipients of this message were deep within the prison layer; so far in that it came close to what the Captain called the abandoned prisons. I tried asking her what the Hades her knights were doing so deep, but she brushed me off, claiming a lack of time. I’d almost blown up in her face. How could I help if I knew next to nothing about The Tower? She was right, though, and only that had kept me calm. We truly did not have the time.

Besides, I’d get to ask Keeper about it. The thought made me excited to finish my day and meet her in our usual spot. Today I’d insist on resting, though, and wouldn’t let her aimlessly lead me around the serf layer. I’d probably even return to my room at the Captain’s manor a bit sooner. Soft bed to melt in? Yes, please.

Hopefully the scouts were already done, or hadn’t even started. Then, I would just hoof them the note and be on my way. No need to wait around for them.

However, as the pocket came into sight—at a distance, I nearly mistook it for a regular corridor, but from up close, the colour of its walls set it apart—a groan escaped my lips. Nopony stood outside. Those bloody bats, always making me wait. It was late, and I was tired. Couldn’t they have waited for me?

It… it wouldn’t hurt if I checked out the inside of the pocket, would it? As long as I didn’t venture too far in, I would avoid most of the danger, right? If they had gone deeper, they would be none the wiser. Even if they were nearby, would they really get on my case for barely poking my muzzle into the pocket? Unlikely.

I nodded to myself and headed through the narrow passage. Once the cave started opening up again, I spotted the group of four bat ponies sitting in a circle and discussing something. One of them noticed me. Too late to sneak away, huh? I waved.

The mare shushed her companions, and started stomping towards me, glaring all the while. Okay, maybe I’d miscalculated. “Hey, you’re not supposed to be in here!” she snarled.

I winced. “Sorry, ma’am. I have your orders, and I didn’t wanna wait around since it’s so late already.”

Her gaze sharpened, and she opened her mouth. At the last moment, she must have decided I wasn’t worth the rant and instead scoffed. “Whatever. Hoof them over.”

I did as told, but stayed around while she read it in case they had a response. I really hoped they didn’t, because even that little detour to the Captain’s office would be a pain in my neck.

Her eyes scanned over it, and she turned to the rest of her group. “The Cap’n wants us to finish scouting this pocket before we head off. I don’t wanna say I told you so, but I told you so.” Groans rose from the group.

They weren’t very scared; was this just a case of a large pocket that would take a lot of time? “Uh, maybe I could help you guys.” Sure, I was tired, but I could still push myself a little, especially if action and adrenaline were involved. Besides, getting myself in these ponies’ good graces would definitely be a goo—

“Why the fuck are you still here? Scram.” Well, this answered that. I turned around so nopony saw my dejected look. What an asshole.

No, she’d just had a long day. It still stung, but I couldn’t hate them for something like that.

I was just trying to help, though…

I flew off, ignoring the ache in my wings. The sooner I was out of here, the sooner I could talk to somepony who actually wanted me around.

I landed and groaned as I closed my wings. There shouldn’t be any monsters in this ravine; too many ponies around, too well-lit. I’d even crossed a fence.

Come to think of it, I hadn’t seen a real monster since I’d started working for the Captain. Only a few wild or domestic animals, like cows—well, they looked like cows anyway, but they didn’t seem to understand me—or rabbits. Stars knew how they survived down here.

Not that I minded. While I did complain about the lack of excitement, I ultimately preferred to avoid needless risk. Especially after a day like this one. Still, I could relax a lot easier in a well-lit area. Twenty minutes should be plenty to rest up.

I’d arrived in a long ravine in the prison layer, with the occasional building partly embedded into one of the walls. Was this a prison? It didn’t look like my mental image of one, but given the fence and location, there were only so many options.

I almost took off again, but the ache in my wings convinced me otherwise. I didn’t want to meet any prisoners and risk being attacked.

They were bad ponies. Criminals. Of course they would try to hurt me. They were bandits and the like. Evil. They were lucky to be alive. They had been granted mercy. They had killed other ponies, and were now working to make up for it. Their jailors were not the bad ponies. Neither was I for working with them.

Why was I so bloody curious about it, then? Why would I want to see these bandits being punished? I would inevitably feel sorry for them, even though they deserved none of my pity.

I groaned. Why was this trip taking so long? I’d had a long day; why couldn’t my brain simply shut off while I walked? Was that too much to ask? I couldn’t even whine about it out loud, because nopony was around to hear me out. No point complaining by myself.

I tried to spread my wings again, only to decide to wait another ten minutes. I could do that much. I didn’t want to, but I could. I should. I hated not being able to fly. No, not just that. That I could deal with. What I really hated was having to stop myself from flying. Or maybe I was just bored.

This ravine didn’t help, either. The walls stretched so high that the lip was shrouded in darkness. Pegasus instincts drove me to fly up and investigate; that would have to wait. Still, the question remained: Where would it lead? The logical answer would be somewhere closer to the serf layer, but given The Tower’s tendency to disobey basic logic, that seemed unlikely. Since Aurora hadn’t told me about it, I doubted it was a shortcut.

Or maybe The Tower made perfect sense, and the issue stemmed from me. What if the lack of sky had messed up my sense of direction? The horror!

As I continued onward, a turn in the ravine revealed a small village. I’d seen it on the way here, but only from above. The buildings were made of the same materials as the serf housing, but they were smaller, hardly bigger than huts. Unlike the serf homes, they weren’t composed of neatly cut bricks, but of jagged boulders of different sizes and shapes, barely held together by mortar. This had to be a prison, didn’t it? Only one way to know for sure.

In the distance, a mare’s laughter echoed off the walls. As I approached, my ears picked up a conversation. They were out of sight, somewhere near the middle of the small town. I continued onward, until I made it into the town proper. Damn my stupid curiosity.

Finally, I turned a corner and spotted the group, consisting of three unicorns and two earth ponies, sitting at a large outdoor table. Technically it wasn’t outdoor, but that was beside the point. Focus, Silver. I breathed a sigh; at least it wasn’t a prison after all.

To the side stood a scrawny unicorn colt with a dirty golden coat, maybe half a decade older than me. While everypony cheered, he was brooding away from the group. Unlike everypony else, he quickly noticed me and disappeared between two buildings before I even opened my mouth. Was I really that scary? I always liked to think I appeared approachable.

Yeah, Keeper mistook me for a noble! I was bloody approachable, and screw that colt for thinking otherwise.

With that, I pushed the strange young stallion out of my mind. I stood there for a few moments as I considered joining in their little get-together. If it hadn’t been for my meeting with Keeper, I wouldn’t have hesitated. I didn’t know any of them, but that just meant they were friends I hadn’t met yet, and I could definitely go for a drink or two.

I shook my head and I decided to leave. I couldn’t stay more than half an hour, and joining them for such a short time would be awkward, to say the least.

With a flap of my wings, I took off. When I rose over the buildings, a mare called out, “Silverstring, wait!”

I spun around. In front of the largest building in town, above a narrow alley, hovered a batpony mare. Underneath her stood the scrawny stallion, a neutral expression on his muzzle.

I cocked my head and flew towards her. “Who are you? What do you want? How do you know me?” Something was fishy here. Something was fishy about this mare. Her body was riddled with many small scars, as well as a couple of larger ones. Was that really so odd? She didn’t have it much worse than me.

“My name is Bloodmoon. Could you give me a moment of your time? I’ll explain everything.” She gestured towards the building behind her. A moment passed while I considered it, frowning. “Please, it’s important.”

I sighed. “Fine.” Would I ever learn? Then again, what was the worst that could happen? She had no reason to hurt me, so at least I was safe on that front. Probably.

I followed her inside the building, finding it as raw as the outside. The room was rather bare, empty save for a table, three chairs, a single cupboard, and two locked chests in the back.

Bloodmoon sat down, and I soon joined her, not taking my eyes off her.

“Thank you.” She wore a calm smile, which somehow only creeped me out further. “First, I know your name through my connections. I know you work for Aurora, and I know how you ended up stuck here.”

I raised an eyebrow. “If you want anything from the Captain, I can deliver a note.” I had a really bad feeling about this. Bloodmoon already knew this, and her contact could no doubt deliver the message for her.

She shook her head, and her smile grew further, revealing sharp fangs. “No, but you can help us in other ways.”

I stared at her for a few moments. When she didn’t elaborate, I hesitantly asked, “Help you…? With what?” I took a sip from my flask, if only to fill the awkward silence.

“The rebellion, of course.” Bloodmoon was grinning now.

I slowly nodded, then choked on my water. Bloodmoon patiently waited, and once I was done coughing and hacking, I managed to ask, “The bloody what‽ Why would I help with that?”

“Surely you’ve had time to see the state of The Tower, no? I was planning on reaching out to you in another week or two, but since you came to me first…” Her tone, far too suave for my liking, sent a shiver down my spine.

“Yes, but why’d I wanna join a rebellion? I’m a guard. I oppose rebellions,” I said with more than a little snark. If she bloody wanted to play games, I’d play too.

“I know you want to leave The Tower, for one. Besides, you have a good heart, and you are willing to do what’s right.”

My brow furrowed on its own. She was correct; I did aim to help ponies whenever I could. “What makes you think your side is the right one?”

That somehow put a halt to her obnoxious smugness, and she clicked her tongue. “Ah, I see. I guess you haven’t gotten around to grasping how bad things really are.” Before I could truly appreciate the sour expression on her face, it returned to normal. “Give yourself a few more weeks, then come back to me.”

“Why tell me, though? Why are you so bloody calm about this? Aren’t you afraid I’ll tell the Captain?” I started pooling magic in the base of each of my wings. The window wouldn’t stop me if Bloodmoon tried anything.

Yet her expression remained as slimy and smug as always. “Oh, she knows. She just doesn’t have the time to root us out. You could tell her about me, but in time, a new leader would rise up. Unless she cold-bloodedly murders everypony pushing for change, getting rid of me would only complicate things for her in the short term, with no benefit in the long term.”

Bloodmoon hesitated for a moment, squinting at me. “She’d still do it, of course, given enough pressure and incentive from the noble families.” Why was she telling me this? “But where would that leave you? Would you be happy that you managed to have a mare killed for no gain?” Ah, there it was.

She was right, but it still took my entire focus to not lunge at her and beat that stupid grin off her face. Only the knowledge that I would get in trouble kept that particular thread of silvery patience from snapping.

Bloodmoon continued staring at me with that obnoxious smile before dropping the charade entirely. “I hope you realise what I’m putting on the line here. Even if killing me wouldn’t bring you or Aurora anything, I’d still prefer to keep my head attached to my body.”

“Then why are you being such a massive cunt about it‽” I snapped before I could stop myself. For a moment, the conversation outside stopped, only for the silence to be broken by somepony’s laughter, soon joined by others.

“Because I want to make you understand it’s a two-way street, Silver. I am not asking you to help out of the goodness of your heart. Yes, it’s part of it, but I want you to realise I can genuinely help you, if you manage to help me, but also that this isn’t just about you or me. I hold the cards here, and with your help I could actually go all in, and help a bunch of ponies in the process. If I believed that begging was the fastest way to get you to help, I’d do so in a flash.”

Was the room spinning? I pressed my eyes shut. This made no sense. “Why me?” I sighed, folding my ears. After everything, I still didn’t get it. “I’m just a guard in training. I wouldn’t even have that if it wasn’t for bloody dumb luck.” I bit back a tear and shook my head, gulping painfully. “What makes you think I can help?”

How dare you give me hope? A nopony like me couldn’t change anything. Everypony always told me that, even if they didn’t say it.

Bloodmoon was smiling again. Not the obnoxious, overly confident smile of before, but a more genuine one. “Simple. You’re a flyer, you’re decent with a crossbow, and you work directly for Aurora. While she doesn’t trust you, you’re still by far in the best position to stab her in the back. Figuratively, of course. I doubt you would survive if you actually tried to assassinate her.”

“I… see.” When she put it like that, it almost made sense.

“Like I said, take your time to think it over. Take a look at the other prisons. When you change your mind”—If, I mentally corrected her—“I’ll be waiting. I have an outside contact that really holds the cards.”

My mind was stuck on one particular word, though. “The other prisons, you mean that…”

She raised an eyebrow for a moment, before lifting her whole brow, and mouthing an “Oh”. She nodded “Yes, this is a prison. One of the smaller ones, so we’re not expected to produce as much. We mostly survive by stealing the resources the others produce.”

My eyes snapped wide open, and my ears sprang up. I needed to tell the Captain about this! I couldn’t sit by and let thieves do as they pleased! Bloodmoon smiled at me, ever confident. In a flash, my anger died. “She knows, doesn’t she?”

Bloodmoon simply grinned.

“I don’t believe it. Why would she be okay with criminals running a prison‽” I stomped a hoof on the table. “You talk like your cause is just, but you steal from others. You have no leg to stand on!”

Bloodmoon snickered. “Think of how you saw my prisoners when you came here. Think about it when you check out the other prisons.” She snorted. “As for Aurora? She has more important things to worry about. As far as the knights are concerned, as long as each prison produces the resources they’re supposed to, everything is under control.”

“But…”

She shook her head. “I think it’s time for you to go. I’ve told you all there is to tell, and I know that somepony as righteous as you will eventually come around.” There was that tone again. I hated it.

I frowned as I flew away. I needed to talk to somepony about this. If I brought this up to the Captain, would she take me seriously? Or would she brush me off? Worse, what if Bloodmoon was wrong, and the Captain would immediately have her arrested or executed?

While Bloodmoon wasn’t the obvious moral party here, I had to at least give her words some thought. At best, the Captain would be biased and would offer no real advice. No matter how much I wanted to, I couldn’t trust the Captain. She saw me as yet another hoof soldier.

What I needed was somepony neutral on the matter to talk to. Keeper would also be biased. There was somepony else here, though. Somepony I trusted. But who? Her name wouldn’t come to mind, no matter how much I thought about it.

Huh. I was already going insane. Lovely. Well, hopefully insane Silver would have an easier or at least more fun life than sane Silver. Sane Silver was already starting to think of himself in the third person.

I shook my head. I would need to visit one of the prisons.

Keeper and I were wandering the lower parts of the serf layer, currently in a large, well-lit tunnel. One of the main arteries leading down. This was our third venture together into the depths of The Tower, and we were hoping to get further than last time.

“By the way, did you finish Tarot Cloth’s tale?” asked Keeper, still relaxed. She’d come a long way since the first times the two of us had ventured down here.

I smiled and nodded. “Oh, yeah. I forgot to tell you since we ain’t seen each other for a couple of days, but I did.”

“What do you think, now that you have the whole picture?”

Our voices echoed throughout the tunnel, but it was common for ponies to travel through here, so it was safe to hold a conversation, even at this volume.

“I liked it! When I got to the last chapter, I just couldn’t stop reading, and stayed up way too late.”

“So…” She raised an eyebrow. “You actually liked the ending?”

I couldn’t stop the grin spreading on my face. “The first half of the book was pretty fun, but what really drew me in was the final battle, when Tarot killed that evil demon thing.”

Keeper lifted her brow and blinked a few times, then chuckled. “That is the opposite of my opinion of it. I think it starts off great, but the gradual escalation of stakes shifts it away from a character-centric masterpiece and towards a bland adventure that constantly strains suspension of disbelief. The characters never lose their shine, of course, but it eventually becomes difficult to take their struggles seriously. Once their personal stakes waned, and only the grand quest to save Equestria remained, the book lost its appeal to me.”

I nodded as she spoke, and when she was finally done, I said, “I don’t understand half the words you just said.”

As she explained, in detail, what she’d just said, we continued onward, and eventually turned down a smaller path to avoid reaching the prison layer.

I listened carefully. This stuff really interested me. I had no idea this much thought could go into analysing a story! I might’ve dozed off if my actual teacher tried explaining it to me, but like this I managed to stay attentive. I almost lost track several times, and if not for the energy she put into it, I would have. Something in her voice compelled me to pay attention, even when it was difficult.

At some point, I forgot to look where we were heading. Part of me knew this was a bad idea, but I refused to break the moment. Keeper was still as relaxed as before, despite our position in The Tower. I couldn’t take that away from her. We’d passed one of the subtle gates for the prison layer a few minutes ago, and she hadn’t noticed.

Oh, oops. “Uh, sorry, Keep, but I got distracted, could you repeat that?”

She opened her mouth, but shook her head, a bashful yet elegant smile on her lips. “I went on a tangent there, apologies.”

“No need to apologise, it was really interesting, and I wanna hear more.”

“I know, but whenever I talk about this subject, I lose track of time, and I think it is a bad idea to be distracted th-this far in.” Her eyes grew wide, and she practically shrank before my eyes. She’d come to the same realisation as I. Bloody Hades.

After that, we continued in tense silence. We eventually reached an opening, lit by a bright, long cluster of natural gems. A few dozen paces away, a steep drop cut off our path, but we could follow the ledge for a while.

I turned and began walking, but Keeper stopped me with a hoof on my withers. “Could we sit down here? My legs are tired.”

“Sure.” She was tired from such a short walk? Then again, she didn’t get out of the estate much, did she? I was tempted to ask if we could sit closer to the edge, but I knew how she felt about heights. If anything, I admired that she was willing to stay and rest. Yes, everything around us was lit up, meaning nothing could sneak up on us, but that didn’t take away from her fears.

After we settled in, she cleared her throat and spoke up, “You know, Silver… I really admire you.” The words caught me off guard, and I found myself blinking at her, mouth ajar.

I didn’t immediately reply, trying to gather my thoughts first. Eventually, I said, “Because I can trot here without being scared? That’s really nothing to brag about. I was born in a dangerous place and—”

“Not just that…” She sighed, folding her ears. “Yes, circumstances beyond your control have led you here, but what really impresses me is, well, everything else. For one, you are really smart. You were given no education to speak of growing up, but here you are, learning at an incredible rate.”

I tilted my head to the side. “Me? Smart? Just because I like reading doesn’t mean I’m an egghead. It’s just the basics, so this stuff’s easy, especially with somepony teaching me. I had to learn to fly on my own. That was a real challenge.”

She gave me a sad little smile. “I struggled with this subject matter, basics or not.” Before her words could sink in and send me into a state of panic, she added, “I was younger than you, yes, but I do not think that discounts your achievements.”

For a while, I just stared at her encouraging eyes. I couldn’t find the words to express my feelings. I couldn’t even figure out what I was feeling. Should I be sorry? Should I be proud? Should I be happy?

Thankfully, Keeper broke the silence first. “Say, if you could restart your life, as a noble, would you take the chance?”

I nodded. “In the blink of an eye.”

Another sad smile. “I thought so. How come?”

I furrowed my brow. “Isn’t it obvious? I wouldn’t have ever needed to deal with daily survival. My life would have been so much easier. I would have been born as somepony, without the need to claw my way up the ladder.”

She stared at me, eyes wide. “You say that like a noble has no responsibilities.”

“I know they do!” I grimaced and lowered my voice. “It’s part of why I’m so bloody jealous of them. They get to change things. They can help ponies.” I gulped. “When I took the Trial of Soulfire, I was hoping, from the very bottom of me heart, to receive something high enough to make a change. I knew my dreams would be shattered, because I knew I wouldn’t get a good score.”

Keeper listened intently, ears pointed towards me despite the occasional noises far away, eyes beckoning me to continue. I found myself smiling. “Yet I did. It wasn’t high enough to make me into somepony important, but I could suddenly do something with me life. My options were limited, and the best I got was becoming a guard. Still, it was a starting point.” Yet my smile grew heavier with every word. “I could work my way up to a position where I could do good.”

My mouth twisted into a frown and I sighed. “Or at least I thought so. Progress was slow, and being treated like a bloody foal sucked.” Why was I telling her this? She needed somepony strong to motivate her, not a sad stallion moping about his life.

Yet I couldn’t stop. “Most guards start their training at a young age, so I was the oldest. Often by over a decade.” My eyes were threatening to tear up, but I wouldn’t let them. I gulped. “It… it was so bloody hard to convince myself that I just needed to bide me time, to wait for the right moment to prove I was special.”

I sniffed and scoffed. “I want to be somepony who can help others, but the only special thing about me is my wings. I’d give them up in a flash if it meant becoming somepony. Anypony.” I muttered, “I’m so tired of being a nopony…”

I nearly jumped when Keeper put her hoof on my shoulder. She said, “And I bet being thrown in here didn’t help matters.”

My throat locking up, I nodded. “Everything I’ve built up, every little achievement… gone. The Captain said she’d put in a good word for me, but dodges the question whenever I ask her when I can leave.”

I stared at a flat rock on the ground. “What’s her good word mean if…” I held in a hiccup, before slamming the rock with my hoof. “What’s the point if I’m just gonna end up wasting half a decade in here‽” My voice broke mid-shout. I hung my head and started sobbing. Why was it all coming up now? It had been so easy to not think about it.

Keeper wrapped both forelegs around my withers and pulled me into a hug. It was so unexpected that I lost my balance, falling over and knocking her over too. She yelped in pain as she hit the ground, but quickly added, “I’m okay.” This drew a chuckle from me. A chuckle mixed with a sob. I went back to crying.

For a few moments, I lay there, wetting her neck’s fur with my tears. Her heart beat fast, each thump calming me down ever so slightly. Her flowery smell reminded me of the forest. Not the dark, scary parts, but the quiet clearings where I’d often fallen asleep as a foal. Every time she stroked my mane, breathing came a little easier, and tears flowed slower.

When our position finally caught up to my mind, I wrung myself free, a fiery blush on my face. “I… uh… sorry. I didn’t mean to blow up on you like that. You probably think I’m all talk, now.”

Keeper shook her head, blushing even harder than me. “Not at all. If anything, it is reassuring to know that you can be so fearless and so strong, yet still be equine.” Her smile shone brighter than anything around us. “Thank you…”

She looked away for a moment and chuckled sheepishly as she somehow blushed even redder. After regaining her composure, she met my eyes again. “I am amazed you managed to keep it together for so long, even when everything was ripped away from you overnight.”

I nodded, and a comfortable silence draped over us. She shifted closer to me, and we sat like that for a long while. I’d always thought admitting this to anypony would lead to incredible awkwardness. Awkward enough to never look them in the eye. Yet here I was, more comfortable than ever.

Eventually, Keeper stretched and stood up, then something in the distance caught her attention and she slowly walked towards the edge. I followed her.

Far below us was an island, surrounded on all sides by the abyss. On top of it stood some sort of town. “What is that?” I said.

“A prison. One of the bigger ones. I believe the Duskbringer family owns it. If you want to go check it out, I can return home on my own.”

I shook my head. “I’ll go some other day. From what I can tell, I’d need to fly to check it out, and I’d rather spend more time with you.” Also, she would be scared if she had to walk back through the dim tunnels all alone. I kept that to myself, though; she was trying to be brave, and I’d respect that.

“Why do you even care about seeing the inside of a prison? Mere curiosity? That seems… unhealthy.”

Could I tell her? I thought about it for a moment and decided that yes, I needed to trust somepony, or I would go insane. Even if she ended up influencing my decisions, it would be worth it.

A4 — First Quarter

One two three, breathe. One two three, breathe. One two three, breathe. One two three, breathe. One two three, breathe.

I held in a cough as my lungs burnt with every breath. Floating my pocket watch in front of me, I blinked my bleary eyes while my heart desperately hammered away. Seven more seconds.

One… one two three. Two… Could I stop now? Three… This would suffice, would it not? Four… No, it would not. Few… more… steps! Five… My hooves hit the stone in rapid succession nigh in synchrony with my heartbeat. Six… Almost there… Almost there… Seven…

I slowed to a trot, panting heavily. Sweat ran down my brow, and I swallowed the coppery saliva building up in my mouth before it could pool over. My vision blurred and my head spun, but the pride swelling deep within my chest overpowered all. Or was merely that my heart on the cusp of giving out?

I had done it. I had managed the first step in The Egghead’s Guide to Running—an ancient book that had never been translated into modern Trottish; so old we perhaps owned its only copy. It recommended to first trot for four minutes, then canter for one, and to repeat the process for half an hour.

However, it assumed far too much from a pony like me. At first, I found even a ten-second canter impossible without anaerobic respiration—the book’s term for the burning sensation in a pony’s limbs. Five attempts later, I had finally reached the starting line, and I wondered…

Would my lungs’ predisposition to self-immolation ever subside? In stark contrast, my heart had rapidly developed a strength it had never before needed. No longer did I skim the edges of oblivion whenever I broke into a canter. Though my limits still lay far below those of a working pony, this gait came naturally to me.

However, I could not claim the same of the gallop, which I practised every other day. The movement itself was instinctive, but my conscient psyche complicated its execution. It involved momentarily lifting all four hooves, and that realisation had clouded my mind.

Though my glamour hid bruises from older, failed attempts, it did nothing to erase the shame they brought upon me. Most had since faded, while the few that had not served to remind me how far behind I had fallen, but also of my progress.

I so desperately clung to this attitude. It would let me reach new heights, now that I had reached the first page. Silver had the same outlook on life, after all, and he owed it everything.

My lips curled into a smile. Tomorrow, we would meet again after a week, and he would see my progress. He knew how weak I had been; he understood how much it meant. Oh, precious would be the look on his face!

I stopped. My grin dropped. Why did I so yearn for his praise?

I shook my head. What a silly question. His approval meant I treaded the right path. He was my mentor in this regard, much like I taught him about literature. Yet I had never been as eager for a teacher’s favour.

I sat down next to the wall and sighed, searching for answers. Perhaps it was due to my investment in the matter? It certainly made sense, though this answer struck me as incomplete.

No, the real reason was so obvious that I nearly flinched when it hit me. It was friendship. I wanted my friend to be proud of me. I should have realised it sooner; I understood the concept all too well from fiction.

Sighing, I forced myself to rise and began trotting to where I had hidden my saddlebags and clothes. Though I looked nothing like my usual self, I feared that my wings might draw too much attention if spotted. Ponies might wonder who I was.

Luckily, nopony frequented the lap I had chosen for my daily exercise during this time of day and week. Adults tended to their duties, and foals were at school. Though the cliff overlooking the serf village was popular in the evenings, it remained deserted throughout the day.

On free days, when ponies oft wandered these tunnels, I would attempt other kinds of exercise. Unfortunately, few resources intended for beginners had survived since the Equestrian era, making research difficult. My wings in particular were highly underdeveloped, and I lacked even a single book on the topic. Wing push-ups came to mind first, though I managed less than one. Maybe one day, I could find a good enough excuse to ask Silver about it.

Perhaps I could tell him I hid my wings due to the shame of being flightless? The question would then become why I was unable to fly. Maybe he would believe my family had sheltered me and I had never developed the muscles?

But then, why had they done so to such an absurd extent? I could inform him of my health issues, but that might lead to an unsustainable web of lies.

It would no doubt be simpler to tell him most of the truth. Only… Would he remain my friend if he knew my name? Or would my lies hurt him, and lead to our falling apart? Valid concerns, and excellent reasons to keep him ignorant.

Then why did I crave it so to confess? Another pointless question. I knew why. He was my friend. I could be myself around him, more than around anypony else. I needed not pretend to be a good daughter, studying and staying safe. I needed not pretend to be an attentive and clever student. I needed not pretend to be an unassuming cousin. I needed not pretend to be a noble who spoke only in the most polite and eloquent sentences.

While I wore no mask, I nevertheless kept a secret; a lie which hurt my very soul.

My mood improved as soon as Silver stepped around the corner. “Hey,” he said, a smile on his lips.

I returned it not out of politeness, but genuine joy. “Hello.”

“Nice to see you relaxin’ in a place like this.” I raised an eyebrow, and he added with a shake of his head, “Sorry, the thought just kinda popped into me head.”

Placing a hoof over my mouth, I chuckled. “What, because I was slightly nervous at first? Please, I know very well I am safe here,” I replied with mock offence. Silver started laughing as well, and my smile grew ever wider.

He had a point. Despite its location in the sarosian layer, our spot hardly appeared as safe as the town itself, and at first had unsettled me. Ponies rarely strolled here, though couples occasionally found us. They waited little before leaving to find another private corner.

As Silver drew closer, I marked my page and closed my book. When he sat down next to me, I said, “I have been wondering…” Silver looked at me, lifting an eyebrow. “Did you take a look at one of the prisons, like you said you wanted to? I wanted to ask about it last week, but I completely forgot, and you didn’t bring it up either.”

Silver shook his head, then shrugged. “I dunno, days have been passin’ real quick lately. Kinda just didn’t have the time. After a shift, I’m usually too tired to do anythin’. When I’m off, I spend half the day lounging in bed, and then I either train or meet up with you. Sometimes both. Whatever time’s left I spend readin’, ’cause by then it’s already late.” It never failed to surprise me how quickly I had gotten used to his accent. I hardly noticed it anymore.

However, that he had yet to quench his curiosity struck me as odd. My expression must have betrayed my thoughts, for he folded his ears and muttered, “I know, I know, I need to get around to it. Feels like I’m makin’ excuses, but it’s just tough, you know?”

I gave him a flat look and said in an equally level tone, “Silver, a flyer would need less than an hour to look around one of the prisons.”

He opened his mouth, ready to argue, but cut himself short and sighed. “I guess…”

“So, do you still want to know, or not?” I raised my eyebrows, smirking.

“Of course.” Despite his words, his tone lacked conviction. “I’ll get around to it as soon as I get the time.” I stared at him for a few moments, while his tail flicked nervously. “What?”

“You and I are friends, are we not?” Oh, I’d always wanted to say that line! I kept my excitement to myself, and Silver nodded. “Then tell me, please, why are you so hesitant? Are you perhaps afraid? I would think not, but your attitude makes me believe otherwise.”

“I…” He sighed and averted his gaze. “I dunno. I guess I’m scared of findin’ out.”

I tilted my head to the side. “Finding out what?”

He thought for a moment. “Just… What if what that mare said is true? What if I go and see a prison and don’t like what’s goin’ on there?” With his left hoof, he half kicked, half shoved a pebble off the edge of the cliff. “What do I do then? Join a haphazard rebellion that will probably hurt more ponies than it would help? Pretend like nothing’s wrong and continue workin’ for the Cap’n?”

I gave him a look. An unconvinced, flat look. “Is that not what you are currently doing? Pretending like the problem does not exist?” The prisoners’ fate mattered little to me, much unlike my friend’s. Silver’s turmoil pained me, and I needed to do something. Not to satisfy my curiosity, but to help him. “Do you not feel conflicted already? This at least could soothe your worries.” Okay, maybe it was slightly out of curiosity. Only curiosity; prisoners’ fate mattered little to me.

“I… guess.” Somehow, he shrank away further.

Perfectly aware I would regret it later, I said, “We should go together. I would be glad to provide emotional support for you.” His ears slowly rose as his eyes widened.

Realistically, it would go both ways; he would give me the courage to enter such a place, but I would not admit to that, though I supposed he likely knew that already. As he blinked at me, his mouth ajar, I added, “Before you ask, I do have a method to get in.”

My statement practically made him jump. “Wait, how?”

I shook my head. “Unimportant; It is related to how I leave the estate, and it is rather complicated. However, I solemnly promise I will be there with you.” I winced. I had just missed a prime opportunity to reveal one of my secrets, had I not?

I could still tell him. Surely, he would understand. He was my friend; he would accept me… right?

“You okay, Keep?” Silver’s worried tone snapped me out of my thoughts before they could spiral.

I nodded, raising my ears. When had they even folded? “Yeah, I just remembered something very embarrassing from when I was a foal.” I forced out a mild chuckle, almost wincing at how strained it sounded.

He raised an eyebrow, thoroughly unconvinced. “If you say so… You wouldn’t wanna tell me about it, would you? It looked pretty bad.”

I laughed again. “Absolutely not.” Why was I like this?

N1 — Shade

I was sitting a dozen paces away from the cliff. The pull of the abyss was weak today, but after yesterday… I wouldn’t risk it.

I sighed. Mum did so much to keep me safe and fed. Her life was much harder than mine, yet she was always smiling. And I repaid her by lazing around all day and occasionally wondering what it was like to not exist. How much more pathetic could—

“Excuse me,” said a filly’s voice.

I turned my head around to face a dark pink earth pony and a grey… pegasus? Never imagined I’d meet one. They were about the same height as each other—that is to say, almost a head shorter than me. The young mare was around my age; in her early fifties, while the stallion was perhaps four or five years older. Both sat in that difficult-to-define gap between adolescence and adulthood.

“We had questions about life in the prisons,” she continued.

“Questions about life in the prisons…?” I repeated absentmindedly. I shook my stupor out of my head. “What? Why?” Who the Hades was she?

“Well, neither of us has really seen the insides of one, and we were curious.” Then, it hit me. Neither of them wore a bulky prisoner collar, not even a juvenile one like mine. The stallion wore a plain collar made out of some shiny white metal, but it had no handles for chains to hook into. It looked almost… decorational. Meanwhile, the young mare didn’t even have a collar on.

Anger built in the pit of my stomach, but as it bubbled up, I swallowed it back down. “Have you…” I hesitated, trying to come up with the right words, before abandoning it and saying the first thing that came to mind. “Have you come here to laugh at us?” I winced at the bluntness of the question.

Her ears folded, and she opened her mouth, only for the colt to cut her off. He stepped towards me, wings flaring. “No, that ain’t right! We just… I heard things weren’t well down here, and I didn’t want to close me eyes and pretend like nothing’s wrong.” His accent reminded me of that of one older prisoner mare. Where did she say she came from, again? Spurringham?

He frowned. “I s’pose that makes us sound like we’re just here to gawk at your lives, and I’m sorry for that.” He pawed at the dusty rock beneath our hooves. “I just feel guilty about livin’ up there where it’s safe, while others don’t have such luck.”

An awkward chuckle escaped my lips. Maybe I’d overreacted just a little. They weren’t bad ponies, that much was clear. Judging by the scars on the stallion’s neck, he too hadn’t had the easiest of foalhoods. While the mare’s coat was a lot more pristine than his, her face showed only curiosity with no disdain or contempt at all. A rich filly, genuinely interested in our lives? And here I was, nearly snapping at her.

I sighed. “I’m sorry for accusing you. It’s just been a rough few years for me. I’m Nightshade, by the way, but everypony just calls me Shade.” Except Mum, she called me Night.

The mare gave me what could only be described as a polite smile. She nodded. “Avens, and it is I who should be sorry. It did not cross my mind how rude my approach could appear.”

“It’s alright.” I forced a smile as well.

When he saw my expectant look, the stallion said, “I’m Silverstring, pleasure to meet ya.”

Avens gently cleared her throat. “Is this a bad time for you? We can find somepony else to talk to; we would hate to impose.”

I shook my head. “No, I could use the distraction.”

Her ears perked up while her expression grew a tiny amount more genuine. “So, if I may ask, how is life here? We have looked around and gathered a general idea of what goes on, but Silver seems to think it is a lot worse than it really is.”

Silver grimaced; his ears twitched and his tail flicked. “Don’t act like I’m overreactin’. The prisoners are forced to work all day. That ain’t right!”

His harsh tone made Avens wince, but she quickly recovered. “Do you believe a peasant living off the land is free?”

Silver tried to reply, but Avens cut him off, “No, she is not. If she stops working, she will starve. She cannot change professions, or relocate, unless she has stockpiled significant wealth.” She looked him in the eye, but he averted his gaze. “You and your family may be free to live anywhere with wild animals and monsters to hunt, and plant life to forage, but not everypony is as lucky.”

She paused for a moment, allowing Silver’s mind to catch up. Meanwhile, I remained quiet, interested in their dynamic. What kind of pony would have this sort of debate in front of a stranger? Part of me screamed for outrage at her words, but her personality overwhelmed my mind with curiosity. Yet deeper down ran feelings, cold and slimy. I ignored them. What I’d give to have a friend like this…

Right as Silver opened his mouth to rebut, Avens continued confidently, “Freedom is not a commodity, Silver. It’s—”

“Uh, I dunno what a commodity is. First time hearin’ the word.” I nearly chuckled at Silver’s words.

Avens’ gaze softened. “Remind me later. What I am trying to say is that few are the ponies who are free, and none are genuinely so. Even nobles have rules to abide by, lest they lose everything.” She gestured to me with a leg, and I instinctively tapped my own hoof at my chest. “My point being that you cannot quantify happiness when looking at ponies’ lives from the outside. Everypony has problems, and the only way to know is to ask.”

Silverstring turned to me with an expectant look on his face. Great, I’d just met the two, but they were already asking me to settle a conflict. Nothing new in the life of Nightshade. I didn’t bother to hold in my sigh as I racked my brain. “I think she’s right, in a way. Life down here sucks, but when you really think about it, there’s no reason to believe getting out of here will magically fix everything. From what I’ve seen, ponies always get used to the situation they live in.”

Silver blinked a few times, then tilted his head. “Huh?” A quick glance at Avens confirmed that I’d even caught her off guard by taking her side.

With neither of them intent on replying, I continued, “A lot of adults are just as happy as us kids; their lives are so much harder than ours, but it doesn’t stop them from cracking jokes with their friends and—” I shrugged “—I guess, living their lives.” Then there was me; my life was as easy as they came, and I had a great job lined up, yet somehow still managed to be miserable. All because I was too gloomy to ever make a true friend. Whatever, not the time for a stupid pity party. I calmly pulled up the heavy corners of my mouth. “Just because they treat us like cattle does not mean we should be miserable.”

“How… How can you be so positive about this?” asked Silver, still shocked.

I shrugged. “It’s just like Mum taught me. She always says happiness doesn’t come from your surroundings, that it comes from within and from your friends. That if you can’t be happy in a tent, you can’t be happy in a mansion.” I stretched my smile further, looking him in the eye. He was handsome, way out of the league of somepony like me. Not because I lived in a prison, nor because of my looks. No, the problem lay with my brick-like personality. The muscles in my cheek burned with effort.

Avens nodded solemnly, and the three of us stared at each other for a few seconds. To my surprise, Silver eventually returned my smile. His was small, uncertain and rueful, but it was genuine. “Look, this might be a bit weird, but are you okay? You seem kinda sad.”

Way to go, Shade. Just met him, and he already knows you’re insufferably gloomy. Why was I like this? I was lucky to be alive, so why couldn’t I just be happy?

I broke my pity party with another awkward chuckle. “I’m just a bit lonely, that’s all. Don’t worry about me.”

His face brightened until his eyes shone with a brilliant glint. “Well, we could keep ya company, at least for today. What do you say, Keep?”

“I suppose it would be all right. I—” She snapped her head at him. “I told you to call me Avens in public.”

Her glare was met with Silver’s sheepish grin. “Oops?”

Avens—or was it Keep?—sighed, shaking her head. Despite her frustration, a small smile crept its way onto her lips. “No matter. I doubt Shade here would use that information against me.” That was a lot of faith to put in somepony like me. Then again, I had no idea how to even exploit it. Maybe that was why she didn’t care. Turning to face me, she said, “I apologise for lying about my name earlier. I am Keeper. Book Keeper.” Odd name.

“It’s… alright, I guess.” I didn’t like her, because I had a bad feeling about her, but she was willing to be nice. Giving her a chance was the least I could do. I had no reason to dislike her, after all, except for that ugly jealousy at the bottom of my heart.

“If I may ask, why are you lonely? We saw many other foals on our way through the prison.” What was this, an interview? I thought I had those behind me now?

“I was the youngest in my friend group, so when the last one, Andesite, left, a few years ago, I was alone. He was the second youngest, and the two of us were happy just talking to each other. We never really befriended anypony else, truth be told. Without him, I’m stuck sitting here alone, contemplating life.” Hating life. “The only ponies I get to talk to are Mum’s friends. They’re nice, but they don’t get me.” Neither did Andesite, really, but he at least pretended.

Keeper frowned, biting her lip. “I’m sorry to hear that, though I must ask… why don’t you try and befriend the other foals?”

I shook my head. “They… they don’t like me. I’ll be transferring over to the upper layer in three weeks, I can take it.”

Silver perked up. “Well, duh, because they don’t know you yet. I barely know you, and I already like you, so I’m sure they’ll wanna be your friends.” His smile would have made me blush, were it not for the painful memories resurfacing.

“No, they know me. They just… they really don’t like me. The only time anypony talks to me is when something is troubling them, but they always take great care to not be seen with me.” I was nothing but a shade in the night, always listening, but never to be heard or seen.

Silver blinked a few times, then tilted his head. “Huh?” He shook himself out of it. “But why? You seem lovely. I mean, if they don’t wanna talk to you, I’ll do it. I can’t guarantee we’ll become friends, but I do like talking to you so far.”

Yet again, I almost blushed. Or perhaps I did. “It’s a long story…” I looked away, finding sudden interest in a pile of nearby rocks. “I’d be glad to talk to you more, though.” Why? So he could lay all his worries on me while I listened? What was the point of talking to him? Why was I allowing myself hope?

“Hey Shade, look at me.” Reluctant, I did as told and found myself staring into his bright, fuchsia eyes. “If we’re gonna try to be friends, then you might as well open up, no?” He turned to Keeper. “And we have all day, don’t we, Keep?”

She nodded. “I would not be opposed to befriending you either. It might be obvious, but I do not have many friends.” A mild blush shone through the mulberry fur of her cheeks, her expression adorably flustered. Good thing I had given her a chance; she truly was not a bad pony.

“I…” I sighed, letting myself fall on my rump. “Fine. Long story short, I got a filly killed. My best friend, Granite. I really wanted to play in one of the caves because—” a scowl crept up on my face “—it was cool or whatever. There was a cave-in, she died, and I lived.” There. Bandage ripped off. It barely hurt at all. Biting my cheek, I was able to hold in the tears.

Silver’s and Keeper’s smiles fell, and it was the former who spoke up first, “That sucks, but it ain’t like you meant for that to happen.” His smile returned, gentle and fragile as a soap bubble. “You were just a foal, weren’t you? It’s a heavy burden to bear, but it was just an accident.”

Tears threatening to well up, I bit my cheek harder. Damn it. “That’s not what her parents thought…” One more bandage to rip off. I had to be strong. “They wanted to teach me a lesson, to get their revenge. But Mum was stronger. They were both unicorns, and Mum’s an earth pony.”

I gulped, meeting my new friends’ expectant gazes. The words weighed so very heavy in my throat. “She… she beat them both to death in the middle of the village.” They wanted to know? Now they did. They’d hate me like everypony else. Then, I’d be rid of them. Good thing I hadn’t allowed myself to hope.

Keeper averted her gaze, pawing at the ground, ears folded. Silver stared at me, jaw agape and eyes wide. He blinked a few times before finally regaining his bearings. “Fuck. I’m really sorry to hear that. I thought you were exaggerating at first, but I can kinda understand now. Maybe we’ll just stick to the three of us, then.”

I stared at him for a few quiet beats of my heart before my mind caught on to what he’d said. “Really?” I nigh whispered.

He gave a gentle nod, and Keeper shrugged. Finally meeting my eyes, she said, “It isn’t any of my business, really. I wonder, though, does everypony give you trouble, or is it just the foals? I imagine you and your mother must have it tough.”

I closed my eyes and shook my head. “A few of the adults were friends with the Rocks. They kinda hold a grudge against Mum, but no one else really cares.”

“A grudge?” muttered Silver. “That seems like a very mild way to react to your friends’ deaths.”

“Well, they know she’s stronger than most ponies, so taking her down would require more effort than they deem worth. Plus, they don’t wanna get into trouble.” A grim smile crept its way onto my lips. Would I push these ponies away by admitting all this? What if they thought Mum and I were monsters?

Keeper hummed in thought. “If I may ask… what kind of trouble are we talking about? How did the warden punish your mother?” Her voice still betrayed nothing but curiosity.

I blinked at her, relief and confusion mixing in equal parts. “Three years of doubled shifts. For three years, she did basically nothing but mine and sleep.” They both stared at me, wide-eyed. “It sounds bad, doesn’t it? Yet… I don’t know how, but she didn’t seem to mind. She said it would only make her stronger; woke up every morning with a grin.”

“That’s… all?” Silver muttered. “She killed two ponies and all she got was a few years of hard labour? Don’t get me wrong, that sounds as rough as Tartarus, but usually punishment for, you know, murder, is a lot harsher.”

Before I could say anything, Keeper did. “What should they do instead? Kill her? I guarantee the ponies who own this prison would just see it as a waste. They can’t really incarcerate her, either. The Tower is already reserved for some of the worst criminals.” She furrowed her brow and added, “No offence to your mother.”

I shook my head. “No, no, it’s true. She was a bandit before coming here.” I looked over to Silver, who couldn’t believe his ears. “It makes sense they wouldn’t care so much about prisoner-on-prisoner violence. To them, it’s less about a pony losing her or his life, and more about damaged property.”

“And you’re alright with that‽” he nigh shouted.

After wincing at his sudden increase in volume, I got myself to shrug. “I don’t like that they see my mum like this, but what can I do? Besides, it would be something different if fillies and colts were treated like this as well. But we aren’t.”

He fell quiet for a moment, his ears flattened and his eyes on the ground. He gulped. “How common are prisoner deaths? You make it sound like they’re happenin’ all the time.”

“I dunno, one or two every other week? I don’t really pay too much attention to it, but sometimes, somepony comes to me after losing one of their parents.”

He spun around to face Keeper. “Didn’t you say they were being kept safe? This is barbaric and evil.”

“This is safe, is it not? They are not being overworked except as punishment, and they don’t get attacked by monsters. There isn’t much more that can be done, at least not without losing efficiency.” She tried to keep her tone even, but emotions bled into it nonetheless. A mixture of indignation, anger and… something else. She turned to me. “Tell me, how often do ponies here die from something other than in-fighting?”

Thankful for the opportunity to defuse the situation, I took it. “Not very. There are still accidents in the mines, of course.” I frowned as I remembered something I’d heard the day before. “Actually… I think Mum’s friend said something about a string of disappearances? Some kind of monster flying off into the abyss with a pony in its claws?”

In hindsight, maybe I shouldn’t be all alone near the outskirts of the island.

Silver’s eyes popped wide, his muzzle twisted into a scowl and he snapped, “A string o’ them? How many?”

“I don’t know!” I stomped my hoof on the ground. “I told you I don’t pay that much attention to everything around me!”

Taken aback by my little outburst, he looked away. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to…” He shook his head. “Nevermind, can we go talk to your mum or her friend?”

I tilted my head. “Didn’t you say you just wanted to know what life is like here? Isn’t that going a bit far?”

He tapped his collar. “I work with the Captain of the Knights. It’s their job to keep up public order, and if there’s a monster runnin’ rampant and foalnappin’ ponies, then… then I needa tell her.”

“Oh, alright.” I shrugged in an attempt to keep calm. He was willing to go to such lengths for some prisoners? That was admirable, but he might think me creepy if I said it. “Mum should know. She’s off her shift in the cell block, about ten minutes on hoof from here.”

After exchanging a few more comments, we set off. Chatting idly, we made our way to the village. My usual spot was in one of the quietest places on the entire island, furthest away from the cable cart.

When I asked Keeper how she managed to get on the island, I only received cryptic responses. Silver didn’t seem to know either, but we tacitly agreed to drop it. Keeper would tell us eventually, probably. Still, the mystery tickled my curiosity.

The entire prison was built on a plateau completely isolated from the rest of The Tower, with only a cable cart crossing the abyss between them, making it impossible for grounded ponies to get in.

Since the prison was essentially one long strip, it was nearly impossible to get lost; the wall on the other side of the strip was too tall to ever lose track of.

Unfortunately, the thinner parts of the strip forced us to occasionally move closer to the mines. While Keeper speculated that Silver’s collar could keep us out of trouble even if one of the guards noticed us, neither she nor Silver particularly wanted to test that theory.

Still, Keeper had to stop Silver from doing something stupid. When one of the mares collapsed from exhaustion, a batpony overseer soon started screaming at her to get back up. Silver would have rushed to her aid, had it not been for Keeper.

When we got to the buildings, I was finally able to show off my knowledge of this place. It was a tiny, silly and petty little pleasure, but the way my shortcuts impressed them made me happy. We first had to get through the buildings where prisoners processed ore. I didn’t know much about the procedure, but I knew which parts to avoid to stay out of trouble and danger, since some buildings occasionally had air so hot it could burn a pony alive.

Eventually, we reached the village. When we came into hearing range of Mum and her group of friends, I stopped us. “Actually,” I said, “I think it’s better if I ask them. I don't think they’d react very well to you two, even if you’re just trying to help.”

I yawned, then shook my head in a vain attempt to stop my eyes from closing on their own. I shouldn’t have stayed up as late to talk with Keeper and Silver. Whenever they visited me, time flew, but I knew I would be busy today, and I should have kept track.

How long had I even been waiting here? Hours? Once again, I scanned the room for anything remotely interesting, but it remained the same relatively empty vestibule. For what must have been the hundredth time, my attention landed on the tapestry across me: a brief depiction of The Tower’s history.

Batponies chased out of a village. A tall, red-maned mare venturing alone into The Tower. The same mare talking to a crowd of batponies before spreading her wing in invitation.

I’d seen a similar tapestry at the prison, but I’d never stopped to take another look. I’d been too busy wasting my life at the edge of a cliff to take interest in anything other than me. I sighed. How pathetic could I be?

The door opened, mercifully snapping my string of thought. In walked the grey old stallion who had recruited me all these weeks ago: Dusty Pages. “Sorry, Nightshade. I meant to be back sooner, but somepony mixed up the quantities for the pickaxe order, and—” He shook his head. “Nevermind all that. Let us talk in my study.”

Before I could even stand up, the door opened again, revealing a panting maroon batpony mare in her nineties. “Finally…” She swallowed, before taking a few moments to catch her breath. “The guard said you wanted to speak to me, Dusty. Is it about my report?”

Dusty nodded. “Good morning, Granite. We can talk when I’m done explaining the basics of her job to Nightshade here.”

Thus, the mare finally noticed me, scanning my body. “She the new errand-filly?”

“She is.” He gave her a flat look. “If you ever waste her time by having her fetch your booze, or if you ever try to bed her, I will tell your husband what really happened at the last Blood Moon Festival.”

The mare’s tail flicked, and she tsked. “I wasn’t going to. I’ve learned my lesson with the last one.” Sighing, she shook her head. “Anyway, I’m very busy today, and the sooner we talk about my suggestions, the sooner we can put them into practice.”

“You say that like it is easy, Granite, but most of those will need to wait until there is a new Morrigan, and—Bloody Hades, might as well discuss it now.” He turned to me. “If I get sidetracked again when I come out of my office—” he pointed to one of the doors “—please yell at me.”

Barely listening, I slowly nodded. Until there was a new what?

Author's Note

A/N: Did I just make pre-Sounds of Silence me into a character? I think I did. Oops. Well, Shade is way wiser (in relative terms) than I could ever hope to be, so I guess it’s not exact. Enjoy a depressed, pessimistic (“it’s called realism, mom!”), and melodramatic mess of a young mare.

S5 — Glimmer of Hope

“One more thing, Captain, ma’am.”

Aurora looked up from her stack of papers: letters for important ponies, unit assignments and personal mail all chaotically mixed together. “Yes?”

“I’ve heard there is a monster running rampant near the Duskbringer prison. It could be dismissed as a rumour, but—”

“Oh yeah, I’ve heard.” What? I’d spent all that time preparing my evidence for nothing? It wasn’t amazing, but I’d still put thought into how I’d present it to her. At least the situation was under control. “What of it?”

I blinked. Her words caught up to me. “Huh?” I tilted my head and continued staring.

She raised an eyebrow. “If you’re wondering about how I heard about it, it’s the usual. Social gatherings and the like. Only thing they’re good for, really.” She rolled her eyes. “The rumour mill might not be good for hard evidence—Hades, it’s pretty bad in general; someone once tried to tell me my uncle sometimes goes on killing sprees in The Tower—but when you hear the same thing from three or four different sources, there might be a kernel of truth to it.”

She threw her head back, before letting out a long, theatrical sigh. “Fuck me, that reminds me I have another one of those stupid parties to attend, later this week. And it’s at the Redcroups’.” Sighing again, she sat upright in her chair. “I’m getting drunk and there’s nothing they can do to stop me.”

I stayed quiet, unable to form a coherent sentence. Why was she so casual about this? She’d grown more talkative over the weeks, but this…

Aurora looked at me for a few moments. “Was that all?”

“No, Captain, ma’am, I… If I may ask… If you knew then… then why aren’t you doing anything? I-I mean no disrespect, I know you must have a reason.” Damn it, why couldn’t I find the right words? And what the Hades was she thinking?

Her eyes grew wide and her mouth fell open. “Oh,” she mouthed. “Right, you wouldn’t know. So far, the attacks have only targeted their prison. The fact that they haven’t come to ask us means they believe their guard capable of handling the issue.”

“So we’re just letting ponies die because they’re too bloody stubborn‽” I caught myself off-guard with my outburst, but the Captain merely raised an eyebrow.

“Yes. It’s their land and their ponies. We don’t exactly have the ponypower to micromanage each and every prison. If it becomes too much of an issue for them, they won’t have a choice but to reach out.” She gave a stiff shrug and grimaced. “Alternatively, if that monster becomes a public safety threat, we’ll also have to get involved.”

I gaped at her, tail flicking. “If? You mean to tell me it ain’t already? It’s killing ponies!”

The Captain shook her head. “I meant public as in The Tower as a whole,” she said, gesturing around us. “Currently, it’s only impacting a single prison.”

“And why aren’t they asking for our, I mean, your help‽ It’s obvious by now they can’t!” I stomped on the stone floor. “Bloody!” Stomp. “Handle it!” Sweet stars, I needed to calm down. She was tolerating me for now, but—

“Honour,” she replied in a calm voice. Too calm; dangerous. “It’s extremely shameful for a family to have to request the Knights’ help.” Her clear and precise enunciation of every syllable that left her muzzle sent a shiver down my spine. “So far, they must think they can take these losses. It remains to be seen if they’ll have to change their minds.”

I gulped, but pushed aside my anxiousness. “Can’t you do something even without them asking?” Her flat look made me hesitate, and each of my words came out shakier than the last, until I broke eye contact and nearly mumbled, “That thing’s already foalnapped two dozen ponies.” I dared meet her gaze again, steeling my voice and putting on a weak smile. “Nopony has to know you helped.”

The Captain raised an eyebrow, her tone gaining an annoyed edge. “And how would we investigate? We would need to find out where that monster is coming from. We would be noticed in the process.” She leaned forward over her desk, her eyes harder than I had ever seen them. “Even if I did have the ponypower to spare, this would inevitably lead to tensions that The Tower just cannot take right now.” She glowered at me. “You do your job, and I will do mine.”

“I…” If I wanted to say anything else right now, her glare changed my mind before I could even think up the words. “I understand.”

I inspected a cave entrance, pushing aside needless thoughts. Nothing. Not how I thought I’d be spending my fifty-sixth birthday. At least it wasn’t one of the important ones, anyway.

Finding the beast’s hiding spot was proving far more time-consuming than expected. Each of the many, many caves, nooks and crannies surrounding the Duskbringer prison took a few seconds to check out. No wonder Aurora had refused to send anypony to investigate.

I flew away from the wall, looking for another cave. My wings were bloody tired, but I could keep going for another half hour maybe. At least it acted as a workout, so it made up for the time I would have spent exercising. I usually trained for speed and finesse, but I could use endurance as well.

Then again, all the flying I did during the day had got to count as endurance training as well. I shrugged. More couldn’t hurt.

I shook away those thoughts and looked around for another cave—or would those be tunnels?

Oh, there was one that I hadn’t seen before. Must have been hidden behind some rocks. I stopped a dozen paces away from it and stared. Something was different about this cave. A few flaps later, my heart tried to leap out of my chest. Claw marks near the edge of the cave. Individually faint, but numerous enough that somepony like me could spot them from a mile away. Or, in this case, half a dozen paces.

This was it! This had to be where the monster was coming from!

I landed on the side of the cliff and took a few steps inside, a gentle, stale breeze caressing my feathers. My heart beat faster as I made my way deeper into the cave. With every step, my surroundings grew darker, only illuminated by the gem on my chest. The deeper I went, the more tracks appeared in the dust, all leading in and out of the cave. That had to be at least four different animals. Five, if I counted myself. Did ponies count as animals? Whatever.

Thankfully, many of those prints belonged to prey animals. But then… how would a cow even reach this cave? The more I looked, the less sense it made. None of the tracks seemed to line up. Almost like each of the creatures only had one leg. Or maybe a single creature had left all of these. How would that make sense, though? I shook my head and carried on. Too much thinking would only waste my time.

The smell of rock dust hung in the air, though thankfully not strong enough to irritate my nose. The mere idea of sneezing made me clench my jaw and hold my breath before I made myself relax. Being tense wouldn’t save me. Being alert would. I knew what I was doing.

For anypony else, it would have been far too risky to walk down such a cave. However, an experienced hunter like myself would know how far he needed and could afford to venture.

A sharp crack, quiet and distant, echoed up from deep in the cave, making my fur stand on end. Maybe a small rock falling. Maybe a bone snapping.

I gulped. I knew what I was doing. I would be fine. My goal was to find its lair. Nothing else. I would avoid any danger if I turned tail the moment I came close. This last part would be difficult for somepony else. Me? I'd seen more than enough monster lairs to know what to avoid. I knew what I was doing. Besides, I wouldn’t bump into it by chance. The ponies of the prison said no attacks ever happen this late. I would be fine.

Would I, though? I knew next to nothing about this monster. Was it faster than me? Possibly. Was it venomous? Maybe. Was it large enough to pose a significant threat? Absolutely. What if it could hear me long before I reached it?

Calm down, Silver. I had to calm down, or I would only make it harder for myself. Eyes and ears ahead, I focused. The tunnel was dark, to say the least. The gem on my chest hardly illuminated everywhere I needed to see. Unlike the other tunnels, this one was natural, its jagged walls casting long shadows downhill. Shadows the beast might use to hide in, to ambush me.

No, something as large as that monster couldn’t hide in shadows like these. The tunnel was wide, but it would need to be at least twice as big for it to hide behind those rocks.

What if the monster was smaller than they remembered?

Focus. What a stupid thought. Ponies had a tendency to exaggerate sizes, but not to such an extent.

I stopped for a moment and listened. My hearing was nothing out of the ordinary, but it would have to do. This monster was big and fast. In other words, it had no need for stealth when it could rely on strength.

I continued down the cave, occasionally stopping to listen while watching for any sign that I was approaching its lair. Any tufts of fur that could indicate where it relieved its itches, any droppings, any smells. Anything that could show where it spent its time. My life depended on those early warnings.

Yet none of them came as I walked for nearly a quarter-hour, always downwards. Despite the rather mild slope, I’d definitely reached the deepest I’d ever been in The Tower. Well, save for the time I ended up past the seal. Stars, that felt like half a lifetime ago, yet it hadn’t even been two months.

I gulped. I’d almost been here half a year. Whatever, not the time for distractions.

Soon, I found myself approaching an opening of some sort, light pouring into the cave from beyond it. When I stepped out, I found myself in a large, open cave. Its walls glimmered with hundreds of tiny, silvery-blue gems; enough to see ahead of myself without a light. I hid my lamp in cloth before continuing.

Near the centre stood a ruined building, at least two storeys tall. Its walls had crumbled, and many of the rusted bars in the windows had fallen out. I started walking towards it.

Most of the broken sections had merely collapsed, but a few showed signs of being torn open by an explosive force, with bits of rubble lying far from the wall they’d originated from.

A few steps later, I froze. On the ground, a few paces from me, lay a wooden board—probably part of an old cupboard. Several long gashes had torn into the wood, splinters coming off where claws had ripped into it.

Tufts of orange fur were stuck to most of the sharper corners. Claw marks adorned the stone near the entrance.

I pooled magic in the base of my wings and bolted before the beast had any chance to notice me. Something collapsed inside the building, but I was already gone.

“I’m here for Captain Aurora,” I said to the butler of House Redcroup.

He eyed me a moment, saw my collar, and nodded before disappearing inside. When he opened the door, the sound of a piano and a pony singing reached my ears.

Unlike what I’d heard in a nearby pub as a colt, the piano was on-key, and the singer’s voice resonated in his body; he didn’t just shout. I stayed there for maybe a minute, listening to the beautiful music. When the door opened, I had to bite down a pang of disappointment. I couldn’t stay here, though, I had things to do.

Swaying, the Captain emerged from the doorway, giving me the biggest smile I’d ever seen on her. She wore a dark purple dress that shimmered as she moved. It hugged her form perfectly, showing off her lean, toned body. “If it isn’t my favourite pegasus,” she slurred.

“Good evening, Captain. I hope I ain’t interrupting a fun evening.” I knew I wasn’t. She hated it.

“Nah, laddie, yer right on point.” There was the shitty accent again. Just don’t roll your eyes, Silver. “Truth be told, yer savin’ me life, ’cause I was dyin’ o’ boredom.”

“I’m relieved to hear.” My voice dripped with sarcasm I couldn’t fully suppress.

She threw her head back and groaned. Dropping back down to my level, she sighed, letting me enjoy her alcohol-heavy breath. “So, if ya didn’t come here to rescue me, whadayawant?” It took most of my willpower to not cover my snout.

I nodded and kept my tone level. “I’ve looked into the monster we talked about, and I’ve found its lair.”

“Oh c’mon, you’re draggin’ me away from booze fer… fer that?” She rolled her eyes. “Can’t it wait till tomorrow?”

My jaw was tensing up again. Oh, I was grinding my teeth. “No, Captain, ma’am, it cannot wait. Every day, this monster kills at least another pony.”

“Oh, fine, fine. How ’bout you and I go back t’my place and you tell me more there?” She didn’t mean anything by this, obviously. I still raised an eyebrow, drawing a chuckle from her. “The world’s kinda spinny for me right now, ya see,” she added, confirming my explanation. “Help a mare walk, would ya?”

I rolled my eyes, sighed, and walked over, allowing her to put a leg over my withers.

A5 — Smouldering Flame

The sound of Silver’s steps made my lips curl into a smile; somehow, I had learned to recognise them. We had only parted an hour ago at the Duskbringer prison, but I was nonetheless excited to see him.

When he stepped around the corner, he wore neither his smug grin nor his usual content expression. Instead, his brow was furrowed in thought and a frown rested on his face.

“So, how did it go?” I did my best to avoid sounding too chipper.

His ears flattened against his skull, and he grimaced. “Not well. She doesn’t wanna help at all. Said some shit about the Duskbringer’s honour. Why’s honour so damn important that ponies need to die for it?”

Prisoners, I mentally corrected him, but kept it to myself. He would resent such a comment. “I was afraid of that. While keeping the public order is one of the Knights’ jobs, only the most dire of emergencies are handled by them.” When Silver raised an eyebrow, I shrugged. “At least that’s what I think she meant by honour. If you let a situation escalate to the point of needing to involve the Knights, you’ve screwed up. No one wants that label on them.”

He walked over to the cliff and sat down near the edge. I closed my book, stood up, and followed. I kept my distance from the edge.

When I sat down, Silver sighed. “Makes sense and all, but… I just don’t like it. Months ago, she said I might be able to help out on public order missions, but so far there hasn’t been a single one. I thought it meant that everything’s under control, but no, it’s just that everypony’s shoving everything under the rug…”

I had a bad feeling about this. “You are not implying you are planning to go after this monster all by yourself, are you?”

His eyes grew wide. When the shock melted away, he smiled a sheepish smile. “Kind of? I was gonna look for its lair. Depending on where it is, it might convince her to covertly take care of the issue. She wouldn’t even need that much ponypower to do it, and it would be a win-win.”

I gave him the flattest look I could muster. “That still sounds dangerous, Silver. The beast might still hurt you, you know?”

He rolled his eyes. “I promise I can take care of myself, princess.” His wording stopped my heart, but I calmed down when his ironic tone sank in. “It’s not too different from hunting, and tracking game you can’t take down by yourself is pretty common there too.” He gave me a cocky grin. “Besides, I can probably take this thing on anyway. I’m the fastest flyer in all of Trottingham, Coltchester, and Spurringham.”

“Coltchester? You’ve lived near Spurringham and Trottingham, so I can believe you’ve somehow raced everypony there, but what about Coltchester?” Good enough change of topic.

Oddly surprised, he raised his brow. “Didn’t I ever tell you about Gilda? Self-proclaimed fastest flyer of Coltchester?”

I shook my head. “You didn’t, actually.”

“Hmm… I coulda sworn I did.” He shrugged. “Probably just my mind playing tricks on me. Like a day-jar-view or something.”

I chuckled. “I think you mean a deja-vu. I see what you mean, though. You might have told somepony about it in a cramped room, and somehow the memory ended up associated with me.”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “Makes me think we should talk more about ourselves. You seem to avoid the topic whenever it comes up. We always have books to talk about, and I think we understand each other very well, so it’s not like we need it to get along.” Was he nervous? If anything, only I ought to worry; I was the one with all these secrets.

And nervous I was; my voice shook despite my best attempts to keep it steady. “Think it might be because we come from such different backgrounds? I will admit I am a little afraid of it. What if we realise we are too different to be friends?”

“I… That makes sense, and I guess I share the feelin’. Part of me’s scared you might judge me for those things. Like, I don’t actually think you would, but I don’t wanna bring them up until they’re actually relevant to the conversation. It’s not that I want to keep it secret, it’s that I don’t wanna bring it up.”

Oh thank The Tower, he felt the same as I. Though I optimistically believed my status would matter little to him, I nonetheless worried it might passively drive us apart. My secrets and lies, however, might tear us apart. Sweet Luna, I really needed to figure out how to reveal everything to him! But how? Anything—

“Keep, you okay?”

I swallowed. I could do this. Now or never. “It’s just… I have actually been keeping things secret. Things I do not want to talk about, things that I do not want you to know. Things you are not allowed to know.”

“I’m aware.” He shrugged with a sly smile. “You’re not exactly hard to read in that regard.”

“I… I do not know where to start.” Maybe by the fact that I was the heir of the most important family in The Tower? No, that would be too big of a shock. Maybe my real name? No, that would only lead to the first one. My magic? No, that would also lead down a line of questions. That I was a flightless sarosian? No, same issue as the others. I would need to reveal those details eventually, but should not start with them. What else was there, though?

Oh, this would do. “I was born with a rare disease without a known cure." Silver's eyes popped wide. "From birth, my tissue started turning into bone. There were spells to slow it down.” Why would somepony of Keeper’s birth have access to such a costly treatment? No idea. Hopefully Silver would overlook it. Thank the Stars, confusion had prevented him from catching on.

Oh no, I had stayed quiet for a few seconds! “But they also weakened me and stunted my growth. On my fifth birthday, a group of ponies tried a more complicated, stronger version of the spell. One that hopefully would only need to be cast once.” I was simplifying, but I had good reason to. I was not lying. “It was a moderate success, allowing me to start growing, but it was far from a cure. Plus, it was too expensive to be cast more than once.” Again, technically true.

Silver stared at me, silent. I continued, “So, I had to resume the main treatment. Its intensity was reduced, but it still stunted my growth. It is why I am so small, despite my parents’ heights.”

His muzzle bearing a pained mixture of a frown and a smile, Silver opened his mouth a few times before finally speaking up. “I’m sorry to hear that. I can’t imagine what it’s like to need a spell just to survive.” He hesitated a moment. “Is there a chance that permanent spell could be cast again sometime?”

I shook my head. “Like I said, the resources to cast it are very rare. Instead, a doctor helped me with an experimental procedure. As far as we know, I am mostly cured, but the damage has been done. I am almost fifty-two; I have little time left to grow.”

“Oh… so that explains things.” Gears were turning in his head, and realisation dawned on his face, before concentration returned. The whole cycle repeated four or five times. “That actually explains everything, I think.”

A shiver ran down my spine. Did this mean I could keep the secret of my identity? No, I had to tell him the truth. Eventually. No, not eventually. Now. It would be unfathomably easier if I did it right now.

If I told him, he would learn to know me. He would like the real me, would he not? I was the same pony, only with more responsibilities. And a higher status. That would not affect our friendship, would it? However, if he learned of my nobility, he would never confess his deeper feelings.

Ah. Wishful thinking again. Well, not wishful thinking. A better word would be conjecture. I cared little for him as a potential partner. He was too removed from the type of stallion I liked. He was too strong, too capable, his body too toned, too rough. Stupid slip of the tongue. Slip of the mind? Whatever it was, I had absolutely no—

“Keep…?”

My wings tried to flare, awfully sore, but the shirt I wore underneath my sweater mostly kept them in place. I shook these thoughts out of my head, grinning sheepishly. “Sorry, I was thinking about… stuff.” My tail flicked.

He looked at me with a gentle, understanding smile. “Tell me about it sometime, okay?”

I looked away before the blush appeared on my face, prompting a chuckle from him. In desperate need of another change of topic, I said, “What about you? Had any health issues?”

Silver nodded. “When I was little...” He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “I started pushin’ the limits of my… my magic—Stars, still feel weird callin’ it that.” He shook off the tangent. “If I overdid it, I would get sick for weeks, sometimes even months at a time.” He shrugged. “Didn’t even realise I was using magic when flying. Mum didn’t know, either, and she just thought it was normal for pegasi to get sick like that.”

His ears folded against his head. “Even when I figured out that flyin’ made me sick, I never told her. Was too scared she wouldn’t let me do it anymore if she knew. Think it was the loss of my father that had her reactin’ like that.”

“That’s horrible… I’m so sorry for your loss,” I whispered.

He shrugged. “I dunno, never really knew ’im. Hades, I don’t even know if I could talk by the time he died.” He shrugged again. “I did wonder what life would be like if he was still alive, but you can’t really miss what you never had, right?”

His smile was strained; barely reached his eyes.

I leaned in and wrapped both my forelegs around his upper barrel, pulling him against me and crossing our necks. “Don’t try to always be so tough, Silver.”

He sighed as he relaxed into the embrace. “Thanks, I needed that hug. Not really ’cause of my family, but due to this place.”

After that, we continued talking until late in the night, hours passing like minutes. The two of us would be exhausted come the morrow, yet neither of us would regret it.

Before we parted ways, I asked, “You know, I think we needn’t wait for our days off to align: we could meet in the evenings.” I shrugged. “We should not stay up quite as late, but we might not need to if we see each other more often.”

While his mood had lifted significantly over the course of our evening, it had started to darken when we had noticed the late hour. When he heard my proposal, though, his spirits shot back up, and he grinned. “That’s a great idea! What if we also started going down to the Duskbringer prison to spend time with Shade? She’s a good pony, and I hate to see her alone.”

Though my smile threatened to falter, I kept it up by force. “Well, it does take a rather long time to reach. I do believe we should only go there when we both have a day off. Otherwise, we would be spending most of our time walking.” I disliked the idea of sharing my time with Silver with a pony I barely knew, nevermind liked.

Why was he taking so long? He was over thirty minutes late. He had been a few minutes late before. Sometimes I ran a little late. But thirty minutes? Did something happen to him? Did the beast he was hunting hurt him? Oh, why was he late?

I took a deep breath. Aurora probably had him working longer than usual. He said it happened from time to time. It did, did it not? I had no reason to worry. Although working late on a minor birthday would surely tear down his mood.

I breathed out, turning my attention back to the book I had been reading. The heroine and her friend had fallen through a gazebo’s floor and into a vast network of old mining tunnels underneath the capital. As the story described their journey through the dark cave, images of The Tower’s own tunnels flooded my mind.

The tension rose as a pathetic whimper echoed throughout the cave. I flipped the page, my thoughts racing. Was it a pony, or a monster trying to trap the protagonist? Surely these ancient tunnels were crawling with monsters; after all, they were related to the series of disappearances that had led the heroine into them to begin with.

Did Silver have to go through something similar? On the hunt for a monster kidnapping ponies, exploring dark caves. Dark caves that would force him to wear a light and make himself a target.

Something had happened to him. No other explanation. What should I do? Talk to Aurora and reveal my cards, in hopes of saving his life? Or was it already too late? Should I go back on my own? No, I could not fly.

Calm down. I needed to calm down.

I worried over nothing. He was a hunter. He knew what he was doing. He was late because of Aurora. If not, it was too late to save him, anyway.

Oh, why did I let him do such a dangerous thing? I should have said something; insisted! He did it for the poor ponies in the prison, but I should have told him; throwing away his life to fix a short-term problem would solve nothing!

I shook my head. He was fine. He had to be. He was a competent fighter, and possibly the fastest flyer in all of Trotland. He was fine.

I forced myself to continue reading, but kept getting distracted, my thoughts derailed. Sometimes by the story itself, as it reminded me of Silver’s situation. Sometimes by a flyer far below; always for a few seconds, until reality convinced me it was not Silver. After the third time, I refused to raise my hopes by looking. It still distracted me. Minutes crawled by.

Yet again, a flyer above the town. Rather small, and more than fast. Though I knew better, I looked. Oh, she or he had a silver coat. That was him, no doubt about it. I let go of a breath I had held for far too long. The flyer disappeared into the dark, and I waited. My eyes unable to adapt fast enough, I lost track of him.

As the seconds ticked by, I found myself wondering: what could I talk to him about? I would ask him about his day, I would recommend him this book, and I would talk about our plans for our next day off. I certainly would not throw myself at his neck and sob like a filly.

After a dozen seconds, dread began building. He should be here already. He was fast. Perhaps he was tired from a long day. Yes, that had to be it. Yet the horrible feeling persisted. What if that flyer had merely been a lookalike?

Deep breaths, Arawn, deep breaths. Do not panic. Focus on your breathing. The nearby flap of wings snapped my string of thought, and a moment later, Silver landed next to me. I threw myself around his neck.

The fresh smell of sweat, coupled with his panting, sent my mind’s eye into a frenzy. I pushed myself away and thumped both hooves on his chest. “What took you so long?” Again, I thumped. “I was worried!” I shouted with a final thump.

He tilted his head, his ears flopping. “Worried? Why? Didn’t I tell you I was a hunter as a kid?”

“I know that! Try as I might, I could not keep the thoughts away! What-ifs and maybes piled up. Accidents happen. You are fast, and you are skilled, but The Tower is dangerous.” I sighed as I stared into his gorgeous, rueful eyes. “And you were so late…”

Silver gulped, folded his ears, and sighed. “I’m sorry, I shoulda paid more attention to the time.” He furrowed his brow, conflicted, then shook his head. “Actually, no, that ain’t no excuse. I knew it was gettin’ late and still chose to go down that tunnel. I’m sorry, I didn’t think about the impact it would have on you.”

I rolled my eyes with a chuckle, all the tension leaving my muscles over the span of a second. “You don’t do a lot of thinking, do you?”

He burst out laughing. A pure, carefree, and loud laugh that quickly had him gasping for air and clutching his stomach, while I chuckled along. “Guess I don’t, no,” he managed to say between fits of laughter.

Eventually, as his laughter died down, I shifted closer, and he leaned into my hug. I wrapped my hooves around his barrel; he rested his neck on my withers. Earlier thoughts came flooding back, but our position hid my heavy blush. His powerful muscles relaxed underneath my hooves as he breathed another content sigh.

I let myself relax, resting my own head on his withers. The embarrassing thoughts that had up until then filled my mind disappeared as I basked in the moment. Both of us would need to bathe afterwards. Perhaps I could convince him to sneak with me into the baths at Aurora’s manor? She rarely used them, though her maid kept them ready at all times.

When I was reasonably certain my blush had subsided, I pulled away. “Did you have anything in mind for tonight?”

His face lit up. “Oh! Right! I actually found the beast’s lair, and I was gonna go tell the Captain about it soon!”

“You did? That’s wonderful! What’s it like? Where is it?” Hiding disappointment with excitement proved harder than expected. However, this mattered to him; forcing him to prioritise our friendship over his sense of duty would be cruel.

“It’s in the old prison layer.” A shiver ran down my spine. He had been down there? I had been right to worry. “At least I think so, given that its lair is a dilapidated old prison.”

I kept that comment to myself; no sense in bringing the topic back up. “That means it is easy to reach from the main tunnel system, and bringing ponies there to fight it should be feasible.”

“It is? That’s even better!” His excitement bubbled over, washing away his exhaustion. With a flap of his wings, he jumped to his hooves and started prancing around me. I found myself smiling. “Means the Captain has no reason to say no! Shouldn’t take too many ponies or too long to do it, and it can be done all sneaky-like!”

My smile grew wider. “I’m really happy, that’s great!”

He nodded, then froze mid-prance and furrowed his brow. “I’m sorry to leave so quickly after arriving, but I think I have to get going. I still need to freshen up.”

I shook my head, clenching my jaw. “It is fine, we almost see each other every day.” Do not let your smile falter, Arawn. “Before you go, could you tell me about the monster?”

He frowned. “It’s… weird. That’s all I can say. There are tracks of four different animals. Normally, I’d think there are just four of them, but the spacing is off. I’m… I'm pretty sure this thing just has four mismatched hooves. Feet. Paws. Whatever.”

“That sounds horrifying, to be frank.” I had never heard of a creature like this, except maybe in ancient mythology. “It sounds like I was right to be worried.”

He rubbed his crest with a sheepish smile. “So was I, in all honesty.”

I gaped at him. “Did… didn’t you say you were confident in your skills?”

His smile grew uncertain, awkward. “That doesn’t stop me from gettin’ scared, you know? It’s one of the things that helps me push past it, but the fear is still there.” He shook his head. “But if I didn’t have a proper goal, I would not have been able to do so.”

“And for you, that goal is to save ponies. You really are a hero,” I said with genuine awe in my voice. “Risking one’s life for a stranger, let alone a prisoner, is something I can’t understand. Yet it is admirable.” Perhaps someday, I would be a good pony as well.

He chuckled. “Oh, please, you’re gonna make me blush. Besides, I have other reasons. I really want to impress the Captain.” He furrowed his brow. “Don’t… don’t tell her I said that.”

Some emotion spiked through my heart, unknown and foreign. I shoved it aside and giggled. “What, do you like mares twice your age? It is a rather common trope, but I did not think it applied to you.”

“What? No!” He vigorously shook his head, slight blush tinting his cheeks. “I just want her to put in a good word with the Hockney guard.” Relief washed over me—“Once I get out of here, that is. That way, my time here won’t be wasted.”—only to be replaced by a glacial shiver.

It ran down my spine, and I had to force out my chuckle.

He still believed he would be allowed to leave one day. How long until somepony would finally shatter that bubble? Should I do it? He trusted me and might believe me if I explained it to him. Would I even be able to do it? I lacked the courage to even admit to him who I really was. I needed to tell him, already.

I had good reason to worry. He was treating me like a friend, like somepony on his own level. Would that all fall apart once he found out that I was, in fact, not on his level? Would he pretend like it matters little, only for us to drift apart? Would—

“Hey, Keep, are you alright? You’re, uh, kinda starin’ off into space again.”

I flashed him the biggest smile I could fake, and let out an equally fictitious chuckle. Then, in the most sickly sweet tone, I practically sang, “Don’t worry, I just remembered some work I have to do in the library. Section seven-D badly needs reorganising.”

Coward. Weakling. Moron.

Silver narrowed his eyes. “You gonna be okay? Maybe it’s best if you go catch a good night’s sleep. You seem awfully tired.” I nodded, while he examined himself and added, “Look who’s talking. Still, sorry we couldn’t talk as long as normally, but at least we get to see each other tomorrow.”

I was waiting at our usual meeting spot, staring off the cliff that overlooked the servant town. The drop was dizzying; I never dared come close to the edge out of fear I would stumble off. Every once in a while, I fantasised of practising my flight here, but the mere idea terrified me.

In theory, gliding should be easy. In practice, my wings might give out. I had exercised them, but would that suffice? I ought to spend some time researching the anatomy of sarosian wings. Every time the opportunity presented itself, I found some excuse to avoid it.

Now that my body was no longer shackled by my disease, flight had wandered from a distant and impossible dream into the realm of achievability. Yet that was precisely why I feared answers.

My treatment had irreparably changed my body’s development. I was unlikely to reach even average height, let alone one comparable to my parents’. What if my wings had grown malformed? They were tiny, like the rest of my body, but what about the skeletal structure?

Enough letting my mind wander! Where was Silver? He was late again! If we had agreed to meet up earlier, I would have assumed he had merely slept in, but it was past lunch time already! He better have a good excuse.

I sighed. He likely did. He would not leave somepony hanging. Still, I was unhappy with waiting. Waiting without anything to occupy my mind led to my thoughts wandering, and they had a tendency to err in poor places. At least I had no reason to worry.

Since the beginning of my meetings with Silver, my daydreaming had grown especially bad. His presence in my life was an endless source of worry, hopes, and dreams. I liked him. I definitely did. Perhaps it was his attitude, perhaps it was his smile, or perhaps his gentle eyes. Perhaps it was the way he spoke so casually, with seemingly not a thought spared to his words.

Perhaps my feelings were only born from the novelty, and any commoner with decent looks would have caught my eye in the same fashion. Perhaps my emotions only originated of the deviation from the monotony of my life.

Despite my lack of romantic interest for him, I had to acknowledge the intensity of my feelings. Then again, some of the thoughts I had about him were a little more than friendly, were they not?

I shook my head. That was merely hormonal. Medical books said so, and books were never wrong.

Friendship sure was complicated and difficult to figure out. Were there any books on that subject?

Despite all these uncertainties, questions, and worries, I knew one thing. I liked him. Was that not the sole detail that mattered?

Yet this one certainty hardly quenched my anxieties. He and I jelled, and our friendship was pleasant, but how much strain could it endure? He knew nothing, and any of my secrets had the potential to turn him away.

Why did I so deeply worry? Was this simply the nature of friendship?

Yes, of course, why would it be anything else? He was not my type.

Maybe I should stop lying to myself.

The thought hit me like a collapsing bookshelf.

I was not lying to myself. There was no way I would be. It did not even make sense. How could anypony lie to themselves? It would imply they can hide something from themselves, which logically does not work.

Satisfied with my rationale, I grunted.

Except I was not satisfied.

“Ponyfeathers,” I muttered.

Fine. I might have a crush on him. Might. After all, I knew too little about friendship to exclude the possibility.

Regardless, what difference did it make? Nothing beyond the scope of simple friendship could happen. Perhaps he would fall in love with Keeper, the ditzy librarian, and we might build a relationship on a lie. A love bound to fail.

Furthermore, if, by some twist of fate, Papa were to find out, Silver would not survive; not so much executed as murdered in blind fury.

Silverstring deserved to know; deserved to make his own decision: to willingly risk his life, or to content himself with my friendship.

Though I wished for the former, I had no right to push for it.

I furrowed my eyebrows. This was why I hated being bored! It always led to too much thinking! Perhaps I should return to spying on the sarosian families? It would keep the boredom at bay, and knowing more about the political landscape would only do good.

I shook my head. Silver might arrive at any moment.

Technically, Silver was only thirty minutes late when he arrived, but that stretched well into infinity for a pony desperate to keep her thoughts from wandering.

He sat down next to me. “Hey,” he mumbled. He was missing his usual garb, and had skipped over brushing his coat or mane. While his regular style may have been rather simple—a plume quite common on physically active stallions, where the mane was barely short enough to stand up tall—he still took the time to appear presentable. Dark rings bore into his eyes, and a pungent, sickly sweet odour hung off of him. Beyond old sweat. Alcohol, perhaps perfume? Something else was off about him, but what?

Watching the far side of the cave, he folded his ears and muttered, “Sorry I’m late. I couldn’t sleep and woke up too late. I got here as fast as I could, though.”

“Did… did she say no?” I knew the answer.

He nodded.

Silence draped over us. Minutes passed by with only the distant rush of water to break the silence. I held onto my courage and said, “Don’t take this the wrong way, but… did something else happen?” Silver would usually bounce back, or at least pretend to.

He forced a shrug, then turned to me with a weak but genuine smile. “Yeah, but it’s nothing big. I’m just worried about the ponies in the prison.” His gaze was dull, distant. It lacked that clever sheen I had grown to love.

I could dig further, but that could come later. Whatever it was, Aurora’s refusal weighed on him heavier. “Did she tell you why?”

His expression fell, and his tail flicked. “Just the usual. Not enough ponypower, not enough time. Honour. Basically the same as last time, just with more bullshit and less valid excuses,” he said in a heart-wrenching, resigned tone.

I winced and worked my mouth, but failed to find anything that might lift his spirits. What would it cost her to save those lives? I cared little about the prisoners’ fates, but such a mission would hardly take a few hours for even a pair of Knights!

“This isn’t rational!” I shouted before I could stop myself. “Even if it’s not strictly worth it, she loses so little! Can’t she see how demoralised this makes you? Does she not realise how important it is to keep you in high spirits? From everything I’ve heard, you have made her life much easier, and she brushes aside your worries like this‽” As I panted, my voice echoed back to me.

Silver grimaced. “Keeper, please calm down. My head hurts.” His pathetic tone deflated my fury, and I slumped. “I don’t get it either. I mean, I get it. It’s not urgent—to her at least—but how can she just stand by when she knows ponies will die? Isn’t it a Knight’s job to prevent ponies from getting hurt?”

I wrapped a leg around his withers and pulled him towards me, ignoring the unpleasant tang. I had nothing to say; all I could do was show. Silver lay his head on my withers and started sniffling. Soon warm tears sunk into my fur while I caressed his side. Every time he breathed in, his coat brushed against mine. Underneath my touch, his barrel was as soft as it was warm, and I wished I could feel it against my own.

We stayed like this for some time, listening to each other's breathing, taking in the comfort.

The moment was broken by his chuckle, followed by, “I hope this ain’t creepy, but you smell really nice. Makes me feel real bad for not takin’ the time to shower.”

“Don’t worry about either of those. I understand,” I whispered as he drew back out of the embrace.

Silver wiped the tears from his cheeks, the sparkle in his eyes restored. He beamed at me, shaking his head. “What am I doing?” He rolled his eyes. “Why am I just takin’ this to the chin? There’s something else I can do. It’s dangerous, but I can’t believe I would let that stop me.” I blinked at him. Surely he wasn’t… “I’ll take this thing out by myself. I have the weapons, I’m fast, and I used to be a hunter.”

“What? It could tear you apart with a swipe of its claw, you said so yourself!” His smile hid something more. Something bad. Not sadness, nor malice. Not resignation, either.

He chuckled. “Wouldn’t be the first time I fight something like that. Sure, I’d be alone this time, but I know what I’m doing.”

“I cannot talk you out of this, can I?” I could not stop this drive of his, even if I tried. And why would I want to? It was part of what I liked about him. Although… something was off.

I donned a confident grin in an attempt to summon that same drive. “I am coming with you,” I stated.

“No you ain’t!” He hit the ground with a front hoof. “This is too dangerous for somepony without experience. Not to be rude, but you’d be in my way!”

“I am coming with you,” I repeated in the same calm and even tone. “I am not letting you take such a huge risk by yourself. Despite what you might think, I am very capable of defending myself.” I paused, waiting for him to take it in. When he opened his mouth, I cut him off, “I cannot go into details, but The Tower lends magic to ponies willing to learn to understand it.” Covering myself in a blanket of shadows, I stood up.

Silver jumped to his hooves, looking around frantically while I walked behind him.

I dropped the spell. “I move around The Tower like this.” He gasped, spinning to face me. I paused, letting his shock grow into confusion. “Well, I also occasionally take a secret passage, but that is beside the point.”

He blinked at me, understanding starting to dawn on him. I continued, “The way I change the colour of my coat is also not through an artefact, but through my own magic.” I whispered a single, incomprehensible word. A moment later, my coat was back to its natural light pink. The shape of my pupils remained disguised.

He stared at me for a few long moments. Then, he shook his head. “It’s still too dangerous.”

“And? If you go alone, it’ll only be more dangerous. I won’t let you.” He opened his mouth, but I silenced him with a raised eyebrow. “Imagine if I found out you were killed by this monster. Do you think I could forgive myself? You are my first real friend, Silverstring. I do not want to lose you.”

He gulped, breaking eye contact. After a moment, he muttered, “Fine. This wasn’t how I imagined my day off with you to go, though.”

I smiled. “Do you want to nap first?”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “No, a bit of tea, and I’ll be fine. I should probably shower, though.”

Author's Note

Fun fact: this is the longest chapter in the fic. 800 words longer than the climax.
Edit: just finished editing the chapter right after the climax, and it's longer by ~80 words. So yeah. The thing grew almost one kiloword during editing.
Edit2: This chapter used to mention coffee. Oops. That has now been fixed.
Edit the third: Apparently, the edit removing the mention of coffee was rolled back on the gdocs version, thanks to google's perfect engineering, so when I copied over the new edits, the coffee came back. I'm so glad this was the last fic I wrote with that spyware trash.

S6.1 — Hush

I stepped out of the servants’ bathroom—it was more convenient than using the main bath; even the Captain used it—before heading for my quarters.

“Silver, is that you?” asked the one voice I had hoped not to hear, barely loud enough to reach me.

I stopped dead in my tracks. Maybe she would forget she heard me? No, the Captain was too sharp when she was sober. Even when she wasn’t. Could I get away with ignoring her? Most likely not. The maid was already out. “Yes. I’m about to leave, though.” Please, leave me alone.

Her steps resonated in the hallway, almost louder than her voice. “I need to talk to you.”

I continued towards my room. I had to try, even if my odds of avoiding her were low. “Today’s my day off. You promised you wouldn’t make me do anything on days off.”

Aurora turned the corner, and our eyes met. “It’s not about work. It’s about yesterday.” She squinted. “Or was it already today? I can’t tell.” She rubbed her temple and took a step forward, prompting me to take one backwards. Aurora sighed. “And please let me come closer, yelling makes my skull feel like it’s gonna split.”

I softly shook my head. “No.” I managed to keep my voice from wavering, but it lacked the conviction I had hoped for.

She took another step toward me. “What do you mean, no? I understand that—”

“No!” Both of us winced at my outburst. “I don’t want to talk about it. I want to forget about it. Pure and simple.”

She fell to her haunches. Her defeated expression almost made me reconsider. Begging me to let her finish, she opened her mouth. “But—”

“Look, I have something to do right now. I haven’t slept enough, my head hurts, and the tea hasn’t kicked in yet.” Not to mention, my sleep had been broken by weird dreams. “I don’t want to ever talk or think about it again, and certainly not now.” I put my hoof down. “So make this easier for the both of us and leave me the fuck alone.”

Aurora opened her mouth, then sighed, turned around, and left. I took a deep breath before heading towards my room. What the Hades was she trying to do? Why did she want to talk about yesterday of all things? What did it matter?

No, not thinking about that right now. My dreams, what had they been about? Something about a garden. Or a clearing. There was a pony too, wasn’t there? Was it Keeper? No. Aurora? Absolutely not. Mum…? Maybe. Yeah, it was probably her.

She had tried to convince me to be selfish and leave The Tower; made me promise. I finally had a chance to prove my worth and she would rob me of it? Yeah, as if Mum would ever say such a thing. I snorted. Stupid dream.

Besides, it’s not like leaving The Tower is something anypony can do.

Keeper and I were walking down a dim, long hallway, deep in The Tower, well below the regular prisons. The silence had my fur standing on end.

Keeper was on edge as well. Worse than me, in fact. While I stayed wary of my surroundings, she was positively frightened, jumping at every sound, no matter how quiet or distant.

Not that I could blame her. We were so deep in The Tower that nopony had come here in years, if not more. Even the crystals embedded in the walls glowed far dimmer than I’d ever seen.

We hadn’t encountered anything scary yet, and my vision had long since adapted to the darkness. According to the Captain, the worst we could find down here in normal times were animals.

The worrisome part, though, was in normal times.

Everything considered, Keeper kind of impressed me. A few months ago, even the prison layer had terrified her. Now, scared as she was, she led the way at a reasonable pace. Especially impressive, considering she had refrained from casting her invisibility spell.

I still had trouble wrapping my head around the whole thing. How could she do magic if she wasn’t a unicorn? After this, I would have her explain it all. I had no idea earth ponies had any magic, let alone real magic. Technically, pegasi had magic, but not magic. We kinda did, though.

Oh, I was getting lost in thoughts again, wasn’t I?

I turned my head to watch our backs, once again finding nothing.

I set my eyes back forward, only for them to land on her flank, following her graceful gait. Her shabby sweater swayed loosely off her form with every step she took.

Come to think of it, I’d never seen her without it, had I? Kinda made me curious to see the shape of her body. My cheeks grew hot as thoughts spiralled, only to lead to yesterday eve.

I shook my head. That’s what I deserved for getting distracted, I suppose.

I took another look behind us. Still nothing.

My eyes landed on her sweater. Baggy, on top of being old. Surely she owned a newer one, one that fit her better, did she not? Maybe it held some kind of sentimental value?

Sweet Sun, what had happened to my survival instinct? I knew this place was dangerous, that I could not afford to think. And here I was anyway, thinking.

Then again, could I really blame myself? This wasn’t like a forest, where danger lurked around every bush and every tree. We only really had to take care around forks in the road, as well as the occasional nook and cranny.

Watching our backs was necessary, but it also didn’t need all that much attention. If anything ran fast enough to become an issue, surely we’d notice it.

I was travelling with a pretty mare I was close with. Of course I would be distracted.

I took another look back, just to be safe. I was shocked to find… absolutely nothing.

At least it got my mind off of those awkward thoughts.

Did I have a chance with her?

What? Where’d that come from? Of course not. She was a gentlemare, I a guard who’d only gotten this far due to sheer luck.

But at the same time… She’d decided to head into the deepest parts of The Tower still open to the public, just to help me stay safe.

What was I thinking? She was my friend. It’s what friends do. If she had deeper feelings for me, she would have told me.

But then, what if she thought the same? No, that—

A hiss from up ahead snapped my thread of thought. A moment later, a… dog—yes, that resembled a dog—walked out of a nook in the wall, followed by two others.

“Let’s fall back,” I whispered. “Something is weird.” They are usually pack animals. Three dogs are not a pack.

Resolve painted over her fear, Keeper nodded. She turned around, while I kept facing the dogs, after drawing my shortsword and slotting it into the notches on my shoe.

Together, we backtracked. The dogs followed us, keeping their distance. There had to be another path to the abandoned prison. Or perhaps we could find a way to lure them out and slip past.

Before I could come up with more plans, Keeper’s shouted whisper snapped me out of my thoughts. “There’s more of them!” Four of them, to be exact.

“Fuck,” I muttered. “Of course they’d pincer us. Let’s stick with plan A.”

With a flap of my wings, I was airborne and took a look around. A few of the dogs crouched, ready to pounce if I tried to fly above them. All of them started approaching, occasionally hissing. Below me, Keeper levitated out four pristine daggers, now suspended in a deep crimson aura.

In a flash, one of the daggers darted out towards the nearest dog. With a metallic screech, it pierced the beast’s chest. It fell with a yelp.

While the aura surrounding each blade wasn’t blinding, it still allowed me to confirm my earlier suspicion. These dogs were covered in reptilian scales. The blade tugged at the corpse, but without its earlier momentum, Keeper failed to pull it out.

With her attention on the beast she’d just felled, her back was wide open to the dog approaching her. Or it would have been, had I not been here. I brought my hind hoof down into its skull, slamming the beast into the ground with a crunchy thud.

This shared display of force made the pack reconsider. Two out of seven had already fallen, and the rest stopped their advance. Keeper’s remaining daggers darted to another dog and started slashing rapidly. While each individual cut only barely drew blood, the three daggers were fast enough to quickly cover the beast in dozens of shallow wounds.

Each time it tried to duck out of the way of one knife, two others found a way to add more cuts to the rapidly growing collection.

I watched in awe as they drove the creature back. I occasionally glanced behind us, but the other dogs were falling back as well.

I found myself wondering how I would fare against such an assault. The blades were fast, but not impossibly so. They mostly relied on keeping momentum high while remaining agile, and avoided sharp turns.

Swatting one dagger away with a sword would be possible, and would likely create an opening long enough to swat away the others and dive for the mage controlling them. Despite their beautiful movement, the pacing of their attacks stayed rather crude and inexperienced, as made obvious by the many slashes that did miss. However, given more time and training, Keeper would become a formidable opponent.

Still, it was enough to drive this dog into retreat. It would definitely succumb to its wounds sooner or later, but for now it had enough energy to run away with its scaly tail between its legs. Every other dog followed.

I sighed in relief and landed next to Keeper. “Great job, Keep.”

She gulped and took a deep breath in an attempt to relax. Her heart beat hard and fast enough that her neck visibly pulsed. I found myself drawn to it, and almost nuzzled it in an attempt to calm her down. At the last moment, I stopped myself and instead placed my hoof on her withers. She briefly tensed, only to fully relax.

After we both calmed down, we inspected the corpses. While their jaw structure closely resembled that of a canine, their long fangs reminded me of a serpent’s.

The one I’d kicked was still breathing by the time I slid my blade between its scales and slit its throat. The scales were surprisingly hard, and it was a small wonder Keeper had managed to cut into them so quickly.

Though that became less of a wonder when I saw the state of her blades. Nicks and scratches covered the main three daggers, and the intact portions of the blade were noticeably duller. She’d also broken off the tip of the knife she’d thrust into the first dog.

At this sight, I was very thankful for my instincts telling me to kick it rather than slash.

There was a door. There had been many of them, embedded into the dark corridor’s nearly black walls. What made this one stand apart was the light shining through the crack beneath it. Keeper and I had been standing in front of it, whispering ideas on what to do. We could storm inside, but that might lead to unnecessary violence. We could also ignore it, but we were drawing suspiciously close to that prison I’d found; whoever was inside probably knew something about the monster.

The idea that kept coming up was to simply knock. While that was interesting in practice, we also had no clue whether it would lead to us getting hurt. What if the pony inside attacked us the moment she—or maybe he?—heard us? Keeper was optimistic, while I remained on the cautious side.

We were at a standstill. Sun and Moon knew how much time we wasted in quiet indecision.

Really, it shouldn’t have been surprising when the door flew open. Or at least that’s what it seemed like at the moment. In reality, it swung open normally, revealing a dark green unicorn wearing a white coat.

The mare tilted her head to the side. “Huh?”

While both Keeper and I scrambled for words, the unicorn took a step inside, waving us in. “I wasn’t expecting guests, but I do have tea,” she hesitantly said. She was as lost as Keeper and I, despite her attempt to play it cool.

Naturally, we followed her in. Against one side of the room stood a shelf covered with tubes and glass containers, each full of strangely coloured liquids. In the opposite corner was a small table that held a few dirty plates and a big pot of tea.

The unicorn walked towards the table, and we followed. She magically pulled out two cups from the cupboard and poured the tea into them. Her own cup was stained dark brown from tea, not having been washed for at least a few weeks. None of us said a word as we took that hesitant first sip of tea.

She stared at me as she took hers, only to quietly swear as it burnt her tongue. Why was she so familiar? I had never met her before. While she licked her own foreleg, presumably in an odd attempt to cool down her tongue, I leaned to the side, trying to look at her from another angle as if that would help.

She stopped her antics and clicked her tongue several times, trying to get the taste of fur out of her mouth. Finally, she broke the dreadful silence. “So, what are you doing here of all places, Silver?”

I fell out of my chair.

After Keeper helped me back up—something I didn’t need, but appreciated nonetheless—I stared at the unicorn, but she remained perfectly neutral, expecting a reply. I took a few more moments to calm down. “How do you know my name?”

“I treated you when you were a tiny little colt. Of course you wouldn’t remember, but you should still have the scar.” She ran her hoof underneath the left side of her ribs.

I mimicked the gesture, and found an old scar there. In the corner of my eye, Keeper did the same. I gulped.

I always had this scar. As far as I could remember. And I’d forgotten about it.

“I…” I started, but no words. I had no idea what to say, or where to even begin.

“Oh, where are my manners! My name’s Vitro, by the way. Physician, surgeon, and mage. And avid mathematician, but that’s irrelevant. Or is it? I dunno. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” She squinted at the table and started muttering to herself, “No wait, I’ve already met you, so I guess that doesn’t work. Then again, can I really say I met you if you weren’t old enough to even speak or remember me? Probably not.” She gave a satisfied nod. “So yeah, great to meet you!”

I slowly nodded. “Good, uh, to meet you too.”

Keeper took the occasion to introduce herself, “I’m Keeper. Pleased to make your acquaintance.”

Vitro squinted her eyes at Keeper, but then shook her head and said to us in a bright tone, “What can I do for you? Normally I’d complain you interrupted my research, but I was going out on a break anyway.”

“I had something else to ask about, but I’m too curious,” I said. “What kind of surgery did you do on me?”

Her smile grew into a proud grin. “Something very experimental that I was able to perfect over time. You ever wonder why you’re still alive?” She furrowed her brow and quickly added, “Well, technically I haven’t perfected it yet, since I’m still doing research on it, but I’ve improved it a lot. In relative terms, I guess you could say it’s perfect compared to way back when.” Another satisfied nod. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“Something… experimental? What does that mean?” I understood the word, but I couldn’t make sense of what she’d said.

“Means I didn’t know if it would succeed. Your mother was very much against it, but your father insisted.” She’d known my father? “Was kind of his dying wish, really. I would have tried it on him as well, but given how weak he was, it just wasn’t worth the effort because the strain woulda killed him for sure. Still, the fact he was still able to walk at the age of fifty-three was absolutely mind-blowing. That’s what made you and your little sister such amazing test subjects, really.”

My eyelid twitched, and I gritted my teeth. Maybe it was her nonchalant way of saying such important things, but she was really getting under my hide.

Wait. I only used to have an older sister.

“Oh come on,” she said, “don’t look at me like that. Without me you’d be dead. Or, if your father’s blood got stronger, you might still be alive in a bed somewhere. Relax.” The way she drew out that a made me want to draw out her blood.

“You still risked my life! What, am I supposed to be happy that I almost died before I could even fly? And what the Hades are you talking about, my sister? I don’t have a younger sister! Or did you kill her?”

She rolled her eyes, unaware of or uncaring for my building murderous anger. “Well, I was estimating your chances of survival at forty-five percent. Forty-five percent chance of gaining ninety years of life expectancy, weighed against fifty-five percent chance of losing fifty-five or so leaves you with an expected value of a gain of ten and a quarter. It seemed like a net gain, really.”

I had no idea what she was talking about, but every word she said served to piss me off further. My jaw was clenched shut, and I glared daggers at her, but she didn’t even look my way as she continued her monologue, “In hindsight, it was more around twenty percent. There were factors in ponies that I hadn’t accounted for compared to rats, so apologies for that. But hey, it all turned out well. Even your sister survived, despite her lower odds.”

Her face brightened in realisation. “Right! I almost forgot to answer that question. She had complications after the surgery, so I had to take her in for a bit, then leave her with a medically competent family. By the time she was stable, she already thought of them as her family, and it would have been a pain to convince her to leave them.” After seeing my harsh glare, she added, “I mean, uh, it would have been cruel to uproot her,” before focusing her eyes on the mug.

We sat in silence, and her face gradually lightened. Finally, she looked up, only to meet my glare. “Oh come on!” She threw up both forelegs into the air. “I’ve improved the procedure so much! You were both instrumental in saving lives and whatnot! Don’t you care about that? Thanks to you—well, in part, it’s not like you were my only test subjects. Though I suppose you were the ones I learned the most from—I managed to understand an organism’s reaction to the foreign matter much better and can plan accordingly. It’s gotten so good that I was confident doing it on the Fell heir, and she was just about as frail as a sheet of paper.”

She squinted her eyes again and looked to the side, towards Keeper, who was trying her best to make herself as small as possible. Caught off guard by the strange reaction, I didn’t have time to say anything before Vitro shouted, “You! What’re you doing here‽”

Her shout bore no anger, only shock and awe.

Keeper only managed a meek, “I… uh…” before Vitro cut her off.

“I mean, it makes me proud of my work to know you’re well enough to roam the lower floors of The Tower, so I’m just surprised. Why are you even disguised? How did you even disguise yourself like this? This is impressive. Is there magic involved? There’s gotta be magic involved. Oh, I really wanna take a look at your organs again. At your whole body, really!”

Then, she saw my expression. I didn’t know what look I wore, but it made the pieces fall into place for Vitro. “Oooooh…” She dragged out the sound for several seconds, her gaze darting between Keeper and me. “My bad!” She shrugged, before turning to Keeper. “Then again, you coulda just told me to keep it a secret, so I won’t blame myself for this.” The temperature dropped several degrees.

Keeper glared at her. If looks could kill, Vitro would have been blown to dust. “Now that the cat is out of the bag, tell me what you did to us.” There was an edge to Keeper’s voice, sharper than I had ever heard, and coated with venom.

A nervous chuckle escaped Vitro. “Funny thing is, I can’t tell you, haha… You wouldn’t really, you know, understand it. And I kinda need it to keep my livelihood. Like, if anypony were to find out, decades upon decades of research would be stolen from me.”

I joined Keeper in her glaring at Vitro. Only one explanation came to me, but it made no sense.

After almost a minute of heavy silence, Vitro let out another nervous chuckle. “Okay, I can tell you’re both mad at me. In the interest of self-preservation, I’m going to change the topic. What did you come down here for? Any reason in particular?”

Keeper narrowed her eyes, then muttered in a dangerous tone, “We are looking for a monster. It had four mismatched legs, and was much larger than an average pony.”

A sheepish smile made its home on Vitro’s face. “Oh, yeah, the chimæra.” She rubbed her crest. “Funny story… It escaped a few weeks ago. I think it made its nest somewhere near the top of the old prison in that direction.” She pointed to her left.

Keeper stood up and headed for the door. As I followed her, my mind had yet to fully catch up with the situation.

Before we were out of the door, Vitro shouted, “Lady Fell—” She covered her mouth with her hoof, trying to throw discrete glances my way. She gave a sheepish chuckle. “Uh, miss, please wait, I have some antivenom that might be of use!”

Keeper only stopped long enough to catch the thrown vial in her magic before storming out of the door.

The thin veil of denial ripped, and realisation hit me. So if she was… That meant that… But then…? I… She… My…? Her. Who? Us…? Them… When?

What.

I couldn’t make sense of the situation, and only when Keeper—that wasn’t even her real name, was it?—called out to me did I snap out of it.

Finally outside that dreadful lab, we started trotting in the direction of the other prison, heavy silence draped over us. After a while, Keeper spoke up, “I… I’m not sure where to start, Silver. I never—”

“We can’t afford to chat about things like that at the moment.” The chill in my voice surprised me. At least I was calm enough not to snap. I was angry and confused, but I would not allow myself to be killed because of it. “You can explain the depth of your lies to me later, Keeper.” I uttered her name colder than intended, though I did not correct myself.

I knew she had been keeping secrets, but not of such magnitude. Why would she—

No. I would think about this later.

I would think about this later.

S6.2 — Horror

At some point, we’d arrived at the entrance to the prison Vitro had told us about a few hours ago. I’d immediately recognised it.

Keeper was exhausted from the long and careful trip. Or was she just pretending? No, not thinking about that now. I was beginning to feel tired as well, though obviously less than her.

I’d offered to have her stay behind, but she insisted her magic was unaffected. Regardless, we ended up taking a ten-minute break in a nearby hallway, before finally making our way into the open area.

The sight of the old prison banished whatever remained of my fatigue. The claw marks on the doors, the tracks in the dirt, the fur stuck to edges; they all reminded me the chimæra could be around any corner, anywhere.

Since the prison was pretty small, checking the entirety of its surroundings only took us fifteen minutes, give or take. Either the beast was out hunting—unlikely, given the late hour—or its lair lay within the prison itself.

Unlike the Duskbringer prison, this one had an inner courtyard, visible through one of the collapsed walls. The lack of open spaces worried me; the chimæra had many places to hide; walls, corners, old furniture.

While my senses were relatively keen, and my reflexes sharp, I could not claim the same for Keeper. Magic or not, if this chimæra got the jump on her, I wouldn’t be able to save her.

Still, if I placed too much trust in my body, I ran the risk of underestimating the chimæra. A horrible idea, to say the least.

I couldn’t wait to kill it, and finally have Aurora acknowledge me and my talent, but I also couldn’t afford to let my guard down.

Once we worked up the courage to enter, we proceeded with extreme caution. Keeper watched my back, while I checked every corner. As we approached the central courtyard, more and more objects littered the ground. Half-finished weapons, tools, and the occasional steel ingot all lay strewn around. The workshop must have been nearby, but I had no time to think about it.

The courtyard itself further set me on edge. The piles of rubble here stood tall enough to easily conceal even a beast as large as the chimæra. The sheer number of potential hiding places made it impossible to check one without exposing myself to another three.

The solution was to lift off and look around from high above. However, that left Keeper out in the open. Sweet Sun, I knew I should have insisted harder. Yes, her magic was decent, but she still held me back.

That was a lie as well, wasn’t it? That she knew how to handle herself in a fight. Sure, she had a bunch of combat spells, but how far could those go without experience?

Not. The time. To think. I only needed to keep her safe.

Actually, what did I care? She had insisted on coming with me. If she got injured, it wouldn't be my fault.

Stop thinking, already! I needed a way to safely check behind those piles. That was all I could allow on my mind. The easiest way to do so would be to fly straight up.

A shiver ran down my spine. Leaving her to die would make me a horrible pony. She was still my friend, even if her web of lies ran deeper and wider than I could have imagined. Even if she was a total stranger, I might get in trouble.

But she wasn’t. She was my friend. I’d known about her lies; why was I angry that they were more important than expected?

Sweet Sun, Silver, stop fucking thinking!

“Hey Keeper?” I whispered.

She winced. “Yes?”

“What do you think we should do about this?” I gestured to the rubble and collapsed walls. “It’s risky to just waltz in, because the beast could be hiding anywhere.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Can’t you fly above all the rubble?”

“What about you? I’m supposed to have your back.” I tilted my head.

Keeper shook hers. “Just go, I’ll handle myself.” She pulled out her four daggers, each more damaged than the last. Reluctant, I took to the air.

The chimæra jumped out from a collapsed pillar. It happened so fast that I only had a glimpse of it. Then, it was on me.

Ducking underneath its paw, I tried to retaliate with a kick, but had to fly back to avoid its bite.

I kept dodging its rapid swipes, each closer than the last, for a few instants—somewhere between a second and an hour—looking for an opening. Bat wings. A wolf’s head. The other a giant snake’s head. Leonine front left paw. Other one bovine.

Its serpentine maw snapped close where my foreleg had been a split second before. Way too close.

Yet expected. I slashed at its abdomen with the tip of my sword, drawing blood.

It was fast, but its movements predictable. Don’t gloat! I dove to the side, avoiding its scorpion tail.

I saw the paw coming, but couldn’t dodge in time. The gash it left on my cheek burnt. I kept my distance; struggled to get back into the rhythm.

No, it wasn’t just the rhythm. It was faster. Or I was slower. I hadn’t trained enough. Stop thinking!

I dropped under its charge and hit its jaw with a two-legged buck, drawing a satisfying crunch for my efforts. Only for its tail to slam into my ribs. I was sent barrelling, barely able to stop my crash.

I maintained the distance between us, constantly dodging backwards as it lunged, bit, and swiped. I lacked the stamina to stay on the defensive for long, but I needed to think. The chimæra was hurt; unable to close its shattered wolf jaw, bleeding from the shallow cut. A few more injuries like this, and it too would slow down.

Would I slow down faster, though?

A dagger flashed past its torso, leaving a thin wound. Three others joined it, and the four danced around their prey. The chimæra desperately swatted at them, only to be overwhelmed.

I bolted forward, plunging my sword into its side. A split-second later I realised what a horrible idea this was. It let out a furious roar and struck my chest with its hoof. Bones cracked, air shot out of my lungs, the ground crashed into me, and my vision blackened.

That would have killed any other beast… It shouldn’t have been able to…

The chimæra landed in front of me. That would have been my end, had the daggers not drawn its attention again. While I caught my breath, it batted the blades away. The swarm stung and slashed with more vigour than before, but the chimæra had grown wise. With every passing second, fewer blows landed.

It only lasted a few more before the beast spotted Keeper. The instant before it lunged lasted an eternity.

I dashed after it, ignoring my body’s protests. When the beast realised it wouldn’t reach her in time, it spun around. Too slow to dodge my cut, it lost its hooved leg as I flew past it. Arterial wound. Good.

Focusing every feather, every muscle, every fibre of my being, I slowed down, storing my momentum as pure magic at the base of my wings. It burned like hundreds of white-hot needles.

When I released the magic, a split second before hitting the wall, the pain spread throughout my wings, just as intense.

I slingshotted backwards, but the chimæra expected me. At the last moment, I managed to roll to the side while its claws dug into my chest.

Where was Keeper? I had to keep it off of her. If I waited too long, it would find her. I needed to go on the offensive, now!

Blood dripping, I charged forward again. I took a chunk out of its abdomen, but was kicked away by one of its back legs. A rabbit’s?

The pain didn’t register. It dove for me again, and we resumed our dance. I had to take it out before I passed out. Otherwise, it would kill Keeper.

Dozens of manoeuvres flooded my mind, but my body held me back. Even staying on the defensive proved more and more difficult, let alone landing an actual hit. Had Keeper run away? Was she hiding anywhere? Would her invisibility help her against this thing?

I dodged its claws, but its back leg connected with my barrel before I could even think of avoiding it.

I slammed into the ground, breath knocked out of my lungs. As quickly as I could, I flipped on my stomach.

Standing proved more difficult than expected, with one of my hooves slipping in the puddle of blood. The gash ran a lot deeper than I originally thought, didn’t it? Was this the end of me? Keeper was nowhere in sight, for better or for worse.

It only took a few moments for the chimæra to land right in front of me. It was taking its time now. It knew I was done for, but it also knew not to underestimate cornered prey. Its eyes held a glint I had seen so many times; that primordial respect a hunter has for a hard-earned kill.

And the beast was right. I wouldn’t let it end like that. I truly had nothing to lose anymore. If I were to die here, I was sure as sunshine going to drag it to Tartarus with me. My vision was swimming; I didn’t have much time.

My heart sank when Keeper stepped out from around a corner. What was she doing? Her blades hadn’t been more than an inconvenience to the chimæra. It would kill her in an instant, before she did significant damage to it.

I almost shouted for her to flee, but that would have only turned the chimæra’s attention to her. Whatever her plan was, I had to let her try.

I lunged, ignoring the complaints of my bruised and broken body. Driven by instinct, it dodged the blade, only for me to slash again. I left my side wide open; I could only hope it wouldn’t capitalise on it.

My blade connected, drawing blood. The cut ran only slightly deeper than my previous one, but it was a step in the right direction. Its serpentine head snapped at me, but I dodged forward, catching it off-guard. Again, I only found a mild opportunity for a weak slash across its tough hide.

But then, I ended up on the other side. On the same side as Keeper. She was behind me. I’d blown her cover.

So why did something move behind the chimæra? Something red was rising from the ground. My eyes wouldn’t focus on it. The beast once again swiped its claws at me, balancing on its hind legs. Dodging to the side and underneath the swing, I tried to counterattack. The chimæra jumped, now used to my reckless tactics.

I ducked under another one of its blows, and stepped away from another. I was panting. I couldn’t keep this up for much longer. I took another step back, but tripped on a piece of rubble.

The chimæra raised its claw in a last, almost theatrical overhead swing, when a red blade pierced its body. Then another. And another. Seven more impaled it in rhythmic succession. It stood still as a statue for a few more seconds, until the red swords disintegrated into a grey sludge, running down the chimæra’s side along its own blood.

It was then my own body finally gave out, while Keeper rushed to me.

In the dead of night, I stood in the middle of the training grounds that Hockney guards, squires, and knights alike used. A thick mist shrouded the nearby outer walls.

What was I doing here at such a time? A shiver ran down my spine as a glacial breeze bit into my coat. Why the Hades was it so damn cold? We were in the middle of Summer. Winter wasn’t due for another two months!

When did I even leave The Tower? Did they finally discharge me for my heroism? It would sort of make sense, but I would have at least remembered making my way out here. Unless I had slept in the medical wing and walked out here without waking up?

Whatever. It would probably come back to me. At least my wounds had healed up nicely.

Wait. Was this the afterlife? Shit. But why would the afterlife put me in the training grounds? Made no sense.

I started walking towards the equipment shack. It was a minute or two away on hoof. I could have flown there and saved myself the time, but I didn’t. I needed it to let my mind slow down.

A sharp gust blew, chilling me to the bone, making me press my eyes shut instinctively. When I opened them, the fog in front of my hooves was gone. When I lifted my eyes, the starlit night revealed itself to me. The outer walls and buildings that should have surrounded me were gone. Past a few dozen paces, the ground itself was crumbling away, pieces falling into the night sky below.

Okay, this was definitely a dream. Or I guess the afterlife.

I stared at the horizon. Dream or not, this was pretty. Trottish weather rarely allowed for such a clear sky. On nights like these, I would often stay up until dawn, staring and marvelling at the beauty above. Auntie never understood it, but Mum said it must have been because I was born in similar conditions; under the full moon.

So maybe this was the afterlife. My own personal heaven. I spread my wings and lay on my back; the cold no longer bothered me. Stars knew how long I lay there, admiring the moonless night. Minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries, millennia. Time had no meaning. There was only the endless sea of stars.

I roamed amongst them, spending an eternity with each. Some were kind and warm. Others, cold and baleful. Some were wise beyond understanding. Others, tricksters who played pranks on me when I visited them. Some were loud, boisterous, obnoxious. Others, shy but beautiful once I learned to know them. They were all beautiful. Each of the dozens, hundreds, thousands, millions. So many, and so utterly wonderful. I was among them, until I wasn’t. Until I was alone.

With every breath, they shrank back. Was this what eternity had in store for me? I would get bored. What, how long had it been, five minutes? I was already starting to lose interest. What if I was bored forever? That would be torture.

With every thought, the stars trembled. I cleared my mind; continued staring. They were right, I had to calm down. They were so very beautiful.

Yet my pulse kept rising, dread building in my stomach. My fur stood on end. Even the stars were terrified. They knew better. I knew better.

With every beat of my heart, they became scarcer. With every beat of my heart, the darkness between them grew. With every beat of my heart, the sky turned vaster, emptier. The stars were all there, unmoving, unchanging, but with every beat of my heart, I understood how insignificant they were. How insignificant I was.

A pair of eyes met mine. Everything froze. My blood, my heart, my mind, the stars. Above me hung a constellation I had never seen. A skull. Piercing into mine, its eyes were the brightest stars in the sky.

“Come ye and listen, Silverstring, and listen well.” My own voice echoed from everywhere, yet only inside my head.

“Who are you?” I blurted. “What are you?” Why wasn’t I waking up?

The voice chuckled, shaking my very soul. “Thy kind name me Erebus.” My fur stood on end. “Thou art in my domain.”

“I’m sorry, tell me how to leave and I will!” I was stumbling on my own words. Sweet Sun, I wanted to live.

Again, it chuckled. “Escape, yes! For this selfsame reason have I sought thee. We share a common goal.” Despite my thundering pulse, each and every one of its words rang clear, no matter how quiet. “That which thy kind call The Tower belongeth to me. It is my bastion, my home, and I shall have it rightfully again.”

It paused for but an instant, allowing me to speak. I gulped.

“In due time, my power shall return, and my usurper shall fall before me. Remember thy promise, o Silverstring, and slip thy bonds.”

Pain started to build in my body, my chest and wings catching fire, while my skull and ribs pulsed in dull agony.

The next moment, I woke up, drenched in sweat and tears, in the medical bay. I had never been happier to see The Tower’s ethereal lights lining the walls.

Author's Note

Gigantanormous thanks to Sir Mediocre for cooking up some proper ye olde English for me

A6 — Between Shades of Black and White

I slammed open the door to Aurora’s office, making her fall out of her chair with a thud. When her eyes landed on me, she stammered, “You? What are you doing here?”

Something unfathomably stupid. “Holding you accountable!”

She blinked at me, slowly pulling herself back onto her chair. “Arawn, dear, what are you talking about? How did you get here? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m really happy to see you walking around, but—”

“Enough!” Meant to thunder, the word instead escaped my mouth with a shrill crack. I cleared my throat. “Silver was heavily injured because of you, and you will have to answer for it!” Though I was screaming for the entire fort to hear us, I hardly cared.

Confused, she rubbed her temple, frowning. “That’s not true. What grounds do you have for these accusations?” She furrowed her eyebrow. “How do you even know Silver?”

“I was the one to bring him to the infirmary!” I slammed both forehooves down on her desk, causing her to wince, making her cups clink together. “And do not change the Celestia-damned subject!”

She blinked, stared at me in silence for a long moment, and motioned for me to wait, before ducking to pull a bottle of brownish alcohol out of her drawer. She uncorked it with her teeth, threw grace to the wind, and gulped a mouthful straight from the bottle.

She sighed, relaxing, and finally met my glare. “What? My innocent, sickly, baby cousin just barged into my office, started screaming blasphemies at me, all while dropping bombshells left and right. Cut a mare some slack, would ya?”

Aurora took another swig while I stared at her, dumbfounded. She continued, “You’re gonna have to explain some things if you want me to understand.” She met my gaze. “Because right now, I’m lost.” The blank, nigh indifferent, merely confused expression she wore set my blood on fire.

So she refused to take me seriously. I stood in her office, shouting at her, and she had the audacity not to take me seriously. “Listen here,” I snapped. I was no longer screaming. I was far too angry for that. “I know how you’ve been treating Silver.” Once again, I placed my hooves on the desk and leaned in. Aurora shrank back. “I know what you did to him.”

A chill ran down her spine, fur bristling. She gulped, her face falling. “Are you… are you blackmailing me?” She shook her head. “Because that will not work. While certain ponies might raise an eyebrow, I will not get into any trouble.” While she chose her words with the care of an old politician, her voice carried genuine hurt, worry, and fear. “He’s my serf, nopony will care—”

“No, Aurora,” I said with calm disdain. “I am threatening you.” I stared at her, almost content with watching blood drain from her face. “Need I remind you who shall rule The Tower when the time comes?” I laced each word I spoke in ice-cold, burning venom.

“But… but you’re…” She gaped at me, her mouth quivering, her expression filling me with a bitter, intoxicating, horrible satisfaction.

“Well? Tell me. What am I?” I sneered. “A weak, sick foal incapable of anything? A filly unwilling to stand up for her friends? Do you truly believe you can push me around?” I raised my tone. This time, she took me seriously. “My best friend almost died because you decided a few ponyhours were too Luna-damned much!”

Tears of anguish streamed down her cheek. Tears of anger threatened the same for me. She opened her mouth. “But—”

“I do not care. If you value your future at all, you will answer to me from now on.” She stared at me, mouth agape and eyes wide, a drop of sweat running down her temple. A sick smirk tried to creep onto my muzzle. “Do you understand?” She gulped. Nodded. “Good. You will hear more from me.”

I turned to leave the room. As soon as I entered the hallway, my bravado left me, horrid satisfaction turning to nausea. I donned my shadows. Nopony would be allowed to see me cry. Nopony.

She deserved this. She was a horrible, neglectful pony. I had every right to treat her as such. It was her fault, and hers alone, that Silver was injured.

So why in the Sisters’ names did tears stream down my cheeks‽

I sighed as I stepped into the barracks. Every day, I came to check on Silver, and every day I recalled my treatment of Aurora upon seeing these halls.

I had even considered coming less often. Silver had not woken up in almost a week; how long would I allow myself to be disappointed by life? With wounds like his, why would I expect anything else?

The doctor had been unwilling to give Aurora any precise estimates, instead relying on platitudes, showing me how dire the situation truly was. Perhaps his opinion had changed for the better since; a few days had passed since my last eavesdropping on their conversation.

Bah, wishful thinking! For all I knew, Silver would never wake. Life was no cheesy romance novel where my love interest would conveniently stay in bed long enough to build a relationship.

Every morning, my mind danced the same dance. It would let hope and despair wrestle, before I finally put an end to it, and would spend all day spying on ponies around the bureaucratic district to distract myself.

And now, I would turn the corner, and my heart would yet again sink. Silver would lie on the bed exactly as the nurse had left him. I would stare at him for a few minutes from underneath my cloak of shadows before walking away with my head down. It was always the same. It—

On the bed sat Silver against a pillow, reading. A pair of oddly familiar thin-framed, half-moon glasses adorned his muzzle. I knew the book betwixt his hooves: an old favourite of mine. It told the story of a noble filly who had recently developed a case of insomnia. Her sanity kept slipping until she began roaming the night, only finding sleep after ending somepony’s life.

I shook my head. Do not let a book distract you, Arawn.

Only problem was… I had no recollection of bringing him the book.

No matter how he had acquired the book! He was awake! And well enough to read! I nearly threw myself around his neck.

Three factors stopped me. One, he was still recovering. Two, our relationship hardly allowed for this exact sort of interaction. Three, there were two other patients in the medical bay.

One of them was asleep, while the other stared blankly at a wall. I focused, breathing a whistle. Three notes, gentle as a breeze, filled the room.

“Who’s there?” asked Silver.

“It is me,” I replied, my voice hushed to a whisper by my cloak. I let go of the shadows.

He sighed, then blinked, before frantically looking at his roommates. Finding them asleep, he relaxed and whispered, “What are you doing here? Aren’t you afraid you’ll be seen? What if they wake up?”

“They shall not. I have made sure of that.” Realising how ominous that sounded, I added, “I have cast a sleep spell on them. They will be fine in a few hours.”

“Oh. Alright.” He fell quiet for a while, only occasionally holding my gaze, and only briefly. “So, uh… hi?”

“Hey.” The smile on my lips began to grow strained as silence fell. It was no pleasant silence; heavy, suffocating. We struggled to meet each other’s eyes. Seconds ticked by, perhaps minutes. I knew what I needed to say. If only that made it any easier.

What was I doing? I gulped and took a long breath. “I wanted to tell you sooner, but the opportunity never presented itself.” And I was a damned coward. “Had it not been for Vitro, I would have found a much better way to reveal it to you.”

Silver grimaced. “Why’d you need an opportunity? Couldn’t you just have told me?”

“I… I was afraid you would not understand. That you would be angry at me for keeping it from you.”

Silver’s hurt expression stung my heart. “Is that really the kind of pony you think I am?” He frowned, staring at his bed.

I opened my mouth, but words evaded me. I gulped. I had to do this. “No, it is just… I merely…”

He shook his head. “It’s okay, I understand. You couldn’t tell how somepony like me would react to such a big secret.”

If he understood, why did he sound so resigned? I lacked the strength to ask; the pain in his gaze paralysed me.

Silence weighed on us again. This time, I failed to break it.

After a long while, Silver sighed. “I need some time to mull things over. I thought we were closer than we really were.”

“We were!” I blurted. “I mean, we are! You’re the closest friend I’ve ever had!”

He nodded, still with that awful, sad smile. “I know. I just thought it meant more.” I opened my mouth, but he shushed me with his eyes. “Look, I promise I’m not angry, and I promise we can go back to how we were before. I just… I just need to think, okay?”

I nodded, forced a smile, and stormed out of the room. I was going to cry, and I did not want him to see. I could not bear the thought. I refused to manipulate him with my tears. He needed his time to think, and as his friend, I would respect that.

Frustrated. Desperate. Such strong emotions rarely affected me outside fiction. A week ago, I had embarrassed myself in front of Aurora in an attempt to intimidate her. Did she even care? She must have seen right through me. Worse yet, she might have taken me seriously, and I might have hurt her.

Today, I had angered Silver. I had followed every trick my eloquence teacher had taught me, and yet…

Why could I do nothing right?

I lifted a chair with my magic, intent on throwing it at the wall, but I hesitated. I gritted my teeth and put it back down. Self-pity and anger could come later. I had to remain composed for what was coming. I needed to move forward, no matter what. Like Mother would have done.

I bit my lip to hold back tears. Why had Silver reacted like that? In the abandoned prison, he had certainly been upset, but he had given me the impression he would come around; that I needed to explain it to him, apologise, and everything would return to normal.

I must have missed something. A clue, a detail. Anything. Why was he angry now, but not earlier? Why? What had changed?

Oh.

Oh no.

He blamed me. He had thought about it, and had realised I had only stood there and done nothing while he had risked his life.

It… it was my fault. My fault he was injured. Why had I failed to realise that until now?

Like a mentally stunted foal, I had hidden behind a corner instead of flinging suppressive spellfire. The excuse I gave myself at the time was pathetic, too. Strategic choice to find the best opportunity to hit the chimæra? Ridiculous. Laughable. Detestable. Cowardly.

I had been shaking like a filly half my age. That was the true reason for my inaction. My cowardice had led to his injury. He was right to blame me. He had trusted me to watch his back; I had let him down.

Somepony knocked on my door. Oh no, oh no, no, no, no, no! I had wasted my time instead of composing myself! “One minute, Father!”

I breathed in with my stomach. A trick to calm oneself. Deep, slow, breaths. Calm down, Arawn, calm down. It is an important conversation, but it is merely your father.

Whom I would have to lie to. I winced. Not the time. I breathed in, put a hoof on my chest, stretched it out away from me, and breathed out. The ancient breathing technique proved surprisingly effective, and my facial muscles relaxed. I moved the chair back into place at my desk, and sat down. “Do come in.”

The door opened. He walked into the vestibule, where he removed his helmet. When he spotted me, his mouth grew into a smile. “You wanted to speak to me, sweetheart?” He used this tone only with me, and only when nopony else would hear.

“Yes, Papa, I had a few questions regarding a rumour I have overheard.” I kept my tone neutral. It took all my focus.

He blinked, eyes wide. “What kind of rumour? Whom did you hear it from?”

“’Tis of trite interest, but I have merely eavesdropped on Auntie Aurora and one of her Knights.” Draw the blame away from Aurora and unto me. Good. “Apparently, the Knights are finding it increasingly difficult to deal with problems as they arise,” I said with half the curiosity I had intended. Damn it! I had rehearsed this line so many times. Now he might suspect something!

For but the briefest of instants, Father’s muzzle contorted in a frown, savage fury flaring in his eyes. Half a heartbeat later, he wore a reassuring smile. A smile that did not reach his gaze. “Why, whatever could they have meant? To my knowledge, there are no issues the Knights could not tackle.” He shook his head. “There must have been a misunderstanding.”

I returned his smile, though mine was largely more convincing. “Oh, is that so? Still, I thank you for hearing me out, Father.”

At that, his expression grew genuine. “I am always happy to help my little darling.” Then, his tone turned to softly reprimand me, “Still, you should not eavesdrop on somepony, especially when you lack context, sweetheart.”

Sheepish, I stroked my crest—damn it, Silver had rubbed off on me! “My apologies, Father. I shall not do so again.”

“Good, then it is settled.” He nodded. “Though I am afraid duty calls, and I should return where I am needed. We can talk more after dinner, if the pressing matters are settled.”

I returned his nod, and within half a minute he had left.

This turn of events failed to surprise me, though it remained frustrating. Until I broke his illusion, he would always see me as his little foal. Yet I knew not whether he could withstand my shattering of his heart.

Nevertheless, my main goal had been to nudge him in the right direction. Perhaps it would work, and The Tower would recover under his guidance in the short term.

Most likely, it would not. He stuck to the past, refusing to acknowledge the changing times, blindly believing in Mother.

I sighed, opened my book, and began reading. At first, a history book on The Tower. A family record, to be more exact. I knew most of it already, but had hoped to uncover long-lost, useful details. Anything at all to turn the situation. No luck—or, as Silver would put it, no dice. I found it difficult to keep my mind focused, especially on such a tedious activity.

I then attempted to read a political textbook, only to encounter the very same problem. Hours crawled by as I desperately attempted to fill my day productively. When evening came, I gave up, instead opting for a novel to distract myself: a story of a young mare, not much younger than myself, leaving everything behind after having committed a murder, on her way to find a new land to call home.

It almost worked, but even then, my eyes followed the words, but my mind would wander. Too often would I find myself in the middle of a page with no recollection of what had happened over the course of the previous few paragraphs.

I closed the book and prepared myself for bed. Perhaps a good night of sleep would finally allow me to focus on what mattered, and not on what I could no longer change.

Unfortunately, I hardly slept. Perhaps my mind drifted off a few times, but the night lasted much too long. Thoughts of Silver, of Aurora, of The Tower’s future tormented me till the early hours of the morning.

After my lessons and homework, I returned to skulking around the bureaucratic district, as it at least allowed me to distract myself from everything.

The following two nights were similarly restless; on the third, I accepted my fate, staying out several hours later than usual. If my mind was to torment me, it might as well do so in front of a pleasant view.

It was then I stumbled into Nightshade, who suffered from similar problems. Maybe, if Silver would no longer be my friend, Nightshade would. No, he had promised. But maybe—

Regardless, my conversation with Shade had lifted an enormous weight off my heart, and that night, I could finally sleep.

I sat at the usual spot. Shade was nowhere in sight. Already, my mind began to conjure up the worst scenarios. Had I said something wrong? Or had it merely taken Shade this long to realise I was not worth her time? Perhaps she was trapped, and only I could save her?

Oh, shut up. It was nothing of the sort. I was early.

Before my mind could torture me any further, steps drew my attention. Not the steps I had been expecting. Confident, strong, yet fast and light. “Silver?” I said as I turned to face him.

A warm smile adorned his face while he continued towards me. “Hey.”

I blinked. Should I be overjoyed or panicking? “What are you doing here?”

“Shade told me I would find ya here.” He chuckled; the sound warmed my heart and set my insides abuzz. When had he even seen Shade? “Then again, ain’t like this place is a secret or anythin’.”

A sheepish smile crept its way onto my lips. “Heh, I suppose not.”

He sat down in front me; silence shrouded us. At first, it was comfortable, but gradually grew more tense.

Silver sighed. “I owe you an apology.”

I gaped at him until my mind caught up to my ears. “No, you don’t!” The words came out stronger than intended, even making Silver shrink back in surprise. “I lied to you for months, and I almost got you killed. I did not even apologise for those two things!”

Despite my outburst, Silver was smiling. Not an arrogant, condescending smile. Not a gentle, knowing smile. Not even a horrible, sad smile. No, his smile was genuine, blissful, happy, and relaxed.

It took the wind out of my sails. No, it took the wind out of the tempest blowing in my head. “I am so sorry, Silver. For getting you injured, and for lying to you. I wish I had the words to describe how deeply I regret both of these.”

His smile grew ever wider as he stared into my eyes. “Arawn, it’s alright.” He leaned forward, but at the last moment dodged my muzzle, instead crossing his neck with mine. From the other side, he draped his foreleg over my withers. He whispered, “I never blamed you for my injury, and I understand why you had to keep it a secret.” Warm tears wet my fur. “Thank you.” He rubbed my back. “Thank you for apologising.”

Weeks of pent-up emotions relaxed in a few sentences. I leaned into the embrace, and allowed gentle tears to flow.

“And I’m sorry,” he whispered, “for pushin’ you away. I was disappointed that you didn’t exactly see me like I see you, and I thought I’d, I dunno, feel better if I did that.”

I squeezed him tight, and he relaxed into the hug. The moment lasted an eternity, only to eventually be broken by Silver as he pulled out of the embrace. We continued to sit in comfortable silence while I gathered my courage.

“Silver, would you be willing to take my side? It is time I try to change The Tower.”

Author's Note

*incoherent screaming*

This chapter was just pure, unadulterated pain. I had to change so many things from the first draft (because of the way I changed some other chapters prior to this)

Worse yet… I’m gonna have to change future chapters as well. (Etyco-from-the-future here: it really wasn't that bad.)

Also... Happy new year, y'all. To a 2024 filled with mares.

N3 — Quiet and at Rest

“Silver?” I called out as the grey pegasus walked past me in the crowded market.

He continued on. Must have been somepony else. I shrugged and began to turn away, only for him to look around and our eyes to meet.

“Oh, sorry. I was, uh, distracted.” He rubbed his crest with a bandaged foreleg.

“I noticed.” Gripping my courage with all four legs, I pointed towards the plaza. “Would you want to hang out for a bit? I have half an hour or so.”

He hesitated for a terrifying instant. His face lit up. “I’d love that. Haven’t talked to you in, what, three weeks?”

I nodded as we started walking. “I heard about what happened from Keeper.”

His face fell once again. “Did she tell you about…?”

“She told me about your disagreement, yes.” He frowned at that, staring at the ground in front of his hooves. “But she also told me about your injuries; I’m glad you’re already back on your hooves. From the way she described them, I thought they were much worse.” And Keeper kept putting off her real apology, so she hadn’t seen him in a while, either.

“Oh yeah, they finally lemme out. Had surgery yesterday.” He pointed to his bandaged leg.

I blinked then raised an eyebrow. “Are you sure you should be walking around?”

“Dunno, it feels fine. Well, it hurts, but it ain’t nothin’ I can’t handle. I’m just too bloody glad to finally be walkin’ around again to let a bit o’ pain stop me.” Why did his accent redouble every time he was bragging? As if on cue, he pranced twice, briefly hovering in the air and landing carefully to favour his bandaged leg.

Again I raised an eyebrow, as a smirk creeped onto my lips.

A blush on his muzzle, Silver chuckled sheepishly. “I can’t believe I just did that.”

My smirk turned to a grin. After last week, it was nice to finally have a happy moment again. A moment where I wasn’t thinking about—

“Can’t blame you, you don’t exactly seem like the type who’d enjoy being bedridden for two or three weeks.”

“Mhm. At least it was only two weeks.” He shrugged. "Dunno why, but I’ve been recoverin’ real bloody fast ever since I got here. I guess even The Tower has its upsides, eh?”

I quietly stared at him for a while. “What was that surgery about, anyway?”

“Removing some kind of metal rods they’d previously stuck in me leg? I don’t really get it, but the doc says Vitro came up with the idea.” He furrowed his brow and shook his head. “I guess you wouldn’t know her. She’s kind of a cunt. And a bloody creep. So yeah, I’m really glad to finally have that out of my body.”

“I can imagine.” We walked in silence for a few moments before I spoke up again, “By the way, I’m sorry I didn’t come visit you. I tried, but I couldn’t get the permission.” I tapped my collar. “Kinda hard when you’re just barely tolerated up there. Must have been horribly boring.”

He sat down on a bench in an odd, upright position. Was that more comfortable for him because of the bandages? He shrugged. “Kind of. Had a couple of good books to keep me occupied. My boss felt bad for yellin’ at me after I woke up, so she brought me some of hers, and so did Keeper—always when I was asleep, though.”

I sat down next to him, and he continued, “Yeah, it did suck to do nothing but read all day, but it coulda been worse.” He gave me a large grin, which soon turned sheepish. “Then again, I started sneakin’ out before the end of the second week. It’s actually what made the doc take out the metal in me legs. Bloke was surprised I could walk around already, given how many bones I’d broken.”

I gaped at him. “You’ve broken bones, and you’re prancing around like it’s nothing? I’m not a doctor or anything, but that doesn’t sound good.”

Silver shrugged. “I’m fine, really. Like I said, me body’s doing really well in here, somehow.” He shook his head. “Anyway, enough about me. How are you?”

“Could be better. Had a difficult talk with someone last week. Kind of dragged my mood down for a while. I talked about it with Keeper, and she helped me calm down.” I sighed and stared at the ground. “Still, it’s been on my mind since.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Why did everypony want to know about me, all of a sudden? At least this time, I was in the right state of mind to play it off cool.

I shrugged. “Not particularly. I can tell you about it if you’re curious, but as it stands, I’m all right.” Hopefully he would not actually want to—

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Damn it.

“Well, if you are so curious, mind telling me about what happened between you and Keeper? She’s been awfully tight-lipped about it.” Well, if I had to go out of my way to talk about myself, I might as well receive something in return.

Silver raised an eyebrow. “Since when are you so into gossip?”

Rolling my eyes, I smiled. “Always have been. I’m just usually more subtle about getting what I want about ponies.”

“I see. You’re more devious than you let on,” he stated in a completely neutral tone.

“Thanks.”

We sat in silence for a few moments. He sighed. “Keeper kept something from me.”

“She does seem like the type, yes.”

He grimaced. “Well, I knew she had her secrets, but this one… It’s a big one.” He tapped the side of the bench. “On the one hoof, it makes it easier to understand why she did. On the other, it only makes it hurt more.”

“In other words, you understand why she did it, but it still isn’t something you can easily accept.”

“You’re right on. I don’t hate her for it, but it’s just so bloody weird to think about.” He groaned, staring at the ground. “To wrap my head around it all.”

I almost lay my hoof on his withers. We weren’t close enough for that. “Why didn’t you tell her that?”

My question hit its mark, making him wince. “I… I wanted to. From the moment I woke up, I started thinking about it and made up my mind; I would forgive her; she had good reasons.” He gulped, grimacing to hold back tears.

I gave him a sad smile. “But that changed when she actually came by, didn’t it?”

He nodded. “She… she didn’t even apologise. Never once said sorry. She just… explained things. That in itself wouldn’t have made me react like that, but the things she said…”

“Were they that bad?”

Silver’s wings twitched, and he opened his mouth, only to hesitate. His ears wilted. “I guess not,” he muttered. “I’m just a bloody fool and thought we were real close. When she told me she didn’t know how I would react, my own disappointment hurt more than anythin’ else. Didn’t help that I was still bummed ’cause of what the Captain told me. Ain’t no excuse, though.” He laughed a grim, sardonic laugh. “I guess I’m the one who owes Keeper an apology. Too bad I haven’t seen her in weeks.”

“Would you like me to help you meet her?” I asked in a tone so casual that he blinked at me for a few seconds before understanding what I had said.

His ears perked, his wings flared—nearly hitting my face. An apologetic look later, I chuckled. “I’ve been seeing her three times a week. If you showed up instead of me one day, you’d get the opportunity to talk.”

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” he exclaimed before covering his mouth with both wings. He grinned sheepishly. “I’d love that.”

“Then meet her at your usual spot, in three days, late at night. She should be there.” His mirth was infectious, his smile spreading to my face.

“Thanks.” After a few moments of silence, he asked, “Anyway, what about you?”

I pulled out a pocket watch my supervisor had given me. “I’m really sorry, but I don’t think I’ll have the time to tell you. I’m expected at the Farrier estate in fifteen minutes.”

“Well, we can walk together if you want,” he suggested with a bright smile.

Damn it, I couldn’t say no to that. “Sure.” I didn’t want to talk about Andesite, but Silver was my friend, and friends shared their burdens.

“So, still haven’t talked to Silver?” I asked with a playful tone to my voice.

Keeper squinted at me. “I have, actually, but you should know that.”

I smirked. “Well, I knew that I set up a meeting between the two of you. For all I know, you could have run away the moment you saw him.”

She rolled her eyes. “Very funny.”

I waited a few moments for her to continue. “Well? How did it go?”

Keeper relaxed, smiled. “It went well, actually, and I am thankful. I kept putting it off, but failed to realise there was no reason to. I kept telling myself I would do it tomorrow, only for tomorrow to turn into nearly three weeks.” She chuckled. “At least running away from my problems has led me down a productive rabbit hole.”

“What did you even do? You’ve hinted at it a few times, but always dodged the question when I tried to get more out of you.” Might as well ask directly.

Her blank stare told me everything I needed to know. “You have? I must not have noticed.” She shrugged. “Anyway, to shorten a long story, I have been spying on various ponies,” she said in a neutral tone, like somepony talking about their choice of lunch.

I blinked, tilting my head to the side, letting my ears flop along. “Why? Just to distract yourself? That's a rather excessive coping mechanism, don’t you think?”

“No.” She thought for a moment. “I realised there was too much about The Tower that I did not understand: so many moving pieces that I failed to consider.”

Okay, so indirect questions were ignored without a second thought, while direct ones were explicitly dodged. She was definitely keeping a secret; wouldn’t appreciate me digging further in that direction. “Well, what did you learn?” Maybe this one would be alright?

“A lot.” I almost rolled my eyes, but she continued, “But what I have been meaning to talk about is the looming civil war.”

My ears perked. “War? I know there are two different camps that dislike each other, but I wouldn’t have guessed it was this bad.”

Keeper nearly gaped at me. “You knew about the factions? From my research, I thought they were trying to keep it a secret.”

“On the surface, yes.” I shrugged. “But they can’t keep lying. There’s always a tell; always a small frown or a tiny smirk.” I slowly shook my head. “Ponies never expect the errand filly to pay attention to those tells, though.”

She nodded, genuinely impressed. “Well, do you know why they oppose each other?”

I rubbed my chin. “Kind of? I know it has to do with politics. If I had to guess… one side wants to keep things as they are, the other strives for change?”

She gaped at me again. “And you have figured that out only by running errands? The heads of those houses try to keep these secrets to the best of their ability; is it truly as obvious to anypony willing to look?”

“I do think most ponies are aware to some extent of the tensions, but from what I can tell, I know more than most.” I smiled, proud of myself for once. “I listen and observe, and nopony notices me. It’s my special talent.”

“Well, great job on that. You were almost correct. One side—I have started calling them the Loyalists—trusts House Fell to sort everything out in due time. The other—the Rebels—wants to install a new family as the head of The Tower.” She let her gaze wander the abyss below. “I suppose there is also a third. At first, I thought they were merely Rebels, but their goals differ.”

That was new. “In what way?”

“The Rebels want to fix The Tower; return to how it worked before. The Prisoners want to change everything about it.”

I blinked. “Prisoners? How could they hope to achieve anything on their own?” I furrowed my brow. “And why would they want to change The Tower and not just leave?”

“They are no mere prisoners. They have a leader; a sarosian of very low status, who nevertheless appears to have tricks up her sleeve. She has her own agenda, of which I am unfortunately ignorant. Still, I believe they are unimportant, compared to the other two.”

I nodded, gears struggling to turn in my head.

She idly tapped her hoof on the ground. “And in the middle of it all, there is the Captain of the Knights, Aurora. She has ponies from both sides pressuring her to take action.” I’d heard of her. Mostly bad things. Even Silver avoided talking about her. “When you add to that The Tower’s increasingly frequent shifts, she is essentially paralysed, even though she could turn the tide any way she wanted.”

Huh? “Isn’t she Fell as well? Shouldn’t she be with the Loyalists?”

Keeper shook her head. “She is a Knight, first and foremost. She vowed to prioritise The Tower over everything, even if it means turning her back on her family.” She stared off into the distance, breathing out a long, sad sigh.

This again begged the question: why was she doing all of this? Maybe she would answer me if I worded it more subtly. “Forgive me for being blunt, but… You sound like you’re trying to influence the way things are going. I understand the desire, but you might be trying to involve yourself in affairs well past your scope.”

“Well, you see, I know someone who has some sway over Aurora, and I believe I could attempt something through her. She is rather influential—my friend, not Aurora—and could likely convince Aurora to—” She cut herself off, slowly closing her mouth. She shook her head, then sighed. “No. I am done lying to my friends.”

I raised an eyebrow. She took a deep, calming breath before answering, “My name is Arawn.”

“Ara-when?” I slowly repeated, blinking. I had heard that name before, somewhere. A shiver ran down my spine.

She nodded. “Arawn Fell.”

My eyes shot wide open, but I somehow kept my voice even. “That… that’s a pretty bold claim.” Yet her face told me she spoke the truth.

She sighed, and a wave of crimson flame ran over her deep pink coat, leaving in its wake a much lighter colour. She blinked, and her pupils turned to slits, wide in the darkness. A red aura not unlike unicorn magic pulled off two layers of clothing, revealing leathery wings underneath.

She looked at me with an almost sad smile. “I hope this is convincing, though I realise it is hardly concrete evidence.”

“It… it is.” I gulped. Although her voice had remained the same, her tense, formal body language killed the last few doubts. “But… if I may, Your Highness…” I met her eyes, testing the waters, before correcting myself, “If I may, Arawn, I don’t think it was a good idea to tell me.” Her gaze told a thousand words. “But I believe you already know that.”

She nodded. “You and Silver are my only friends. Furthermore, you are both reasonable ponies with good personal skills: something I lack, no matter how confident I used to be that books and eloquence lessons had prepared me for the real world.” Her sheepish chuckle reminded me she was indeed my friend, the same I had grown close to over the past month.

Arawn continued, once again tense, “I know I will have to take action soon, and I want ponies by my side. Ponies I can trust. I already asked Silver, and had been considering you as well. Your ability to pick up on lies and subtext convinced me.” She relaxed ever slightly. “I understand if this is all much too sudden, but I believe this was the best time to bring it up.”

“That is still a great deal of trust to put in somepony like me. What if I betray you and spread the truth?” For that matter, what if Silver did?

Her smile confident as it was serene, she said, “Then it means I am not fit for any position of power yet. I cannot do this alone, and this is a risk I am willing to take.”

“I… see.” I nodded. “What do you plan on doing?”

“I plan on continuing as I have been. Operating from the shadows, gathering knowledge and influencing ponies.” She grimaced, folding her ears. “I have tried nudging my father in the right direction, but I have merely made him angry at Aurora.”

I rubbed my chin. “That does seem like something I would be good at, but…” I tried to gather my words into something subtle, but gave up after a few seconds. “Why do you think Silver or I would be interested in bolstering the Loyalists’ position? We both want out of here.”

“And leave you will. The Tower has not always been this strongly closed off to the outside world: only the past fifty years, ever since the incident involving Mother. If I manage to change things as I want, I solemnly promise I will allow you to leave.” She sighed. “Moreover, I do not want to side with the Loyalists. I want to de-escalate tensions while changing things for the better.”

I frowned. “What if you can’t? What if they are so far gone, nothing will stop this conflict? Will you still help free us, even when the Loyalists win and everything remains as is?”

Arawn grimaced, her tail flicking. “Should it come to that, I am not sure I would even side with the Loyalists. Things cannot remain as they are, and while I believe myself relatively competent, I have no political experience; at first, the situation would deteriorate under my reign.”

She looked away, taking a deep breath. “On the other hoof, I do not know who the Rebels would install as a ruler; it could be someone much worse than I.” She hesitated for a moment, before steeling her resolve. “Furthermore, for reasons outside of anypony’s control, I am the most appropriate candidate to rule The Tower.” She replied to my quizzical look with a curt, “I cannot tell you. Sorry.”

Her eyes betrayed a deep sadness. When she turned to look at the ground, I asked, “There’s something more, isn’t there? Given what you’ve told me, there is every reason for you to side with the Loyalists if push comes to shove.”

She hesitated for a moment, then sighed and nodded. “Yes. It is about Father. Should the Rebels take over, they would likely kill him, then subdue and seal him.” What? Arawn was not keen on explaining, though. “But ultimately, all of that would be far less painful for him than if I betrayed him. Should I rise to the throne, I would need to be the one to banish him.” She gulped. “Flawed as he is, I still love him.”

I stared at her in complete silence. After a few moments like this, she muttered, “I have already hurt one family member, I do not know if I can do it again.”

I shifted closer and pulled her into a hug.

A7 — Evening Drizzle

“Gah, this is so bloody tight,” complained Silver from ahead of me as we crawled through the pocket. I had created it two months ago, and by now had grown accustomed to its discomfort. “Remind me why we’re going through here instead of takin’ the main entrance?”

“Because the entrance is locked during the night,” answered Shade before I could open my mouth. Despite her size, she had yet to complain about the passage.

“Right,” said Silver, far from convinced. Perhaps he was claustrophobic?

“Precisely,” I said. “Still, I apologise for the discomfort. I would have made the pocket larger if I could. Even a tiny one such as this exhausted me so severely that I could barely walk for a week.”

Silver hummed. “Was that when you said you’d caught a cold?”

I nodded, then realised he could not see me. “Yes.”

“It could be worse,” said Shade. “At least nothing can jump out at us.”

Silver’s tail flicked. “Wouldn’t be so sure. Aurora claimed there are monsters in The Tower that take on the form of a shadow.”

“I’ve read about those,” I said. “They crawl onto you when you come into contact, then sap your strength until you collapse. After that, they enter your body and consume you from the inside out.”

Shade’s gasp echoed in the tunnel while Silver uncomfortably rubbed his throat.

Oops. Mood killer. “This passage is safe from them, though. I made sure of that.”

My remark failed to reignite the conversation, and we soon fell silent again. Not that I blamed them. Crawling made talking difficult, and we had entered the tunnel over ten minutes ago. If only I had managed a shorter pocket.

One by one, with a single, quiet Word each, I removed the chains from the old ballroom’s door. Though far beyond something my mind understood, the Whispers’ intent rang clear for me.

I pushed the door open and, my wings still draped over Silver and Shade, stepped into the large room. Only after closing the door did I drop our cloak of shadow.

I let them look around, watching their reactions. Naturally, their stares were stuck on the dozens of what, to them, must have been equine statues made of a white marble.

Moth-eaten, half-century-old streamers hung from the walls and from the mezzanine that lined all four sides. Tables stood covered in plates that had once held elaborate hors-d’oeuvres, but had long since rotted away into brown dust.

“What happened here?” asked Silver, eyes wide.

“A spell misfired.” I walked forward, allowing my gaze to roam the room. Though I had been so very young, the memories of that birthday, forty-seven years ago, resurfaced within the blink of an eye. None of the tables had moved. None of the guests had, either. “Or perhaps it did not. I am no longer certain of Mother’s true intentions.”

Shade and Silver both blinked at me, but it was the former who asked, “How do you know?”

Silver nodded. “Yeah, why would she willingly do… this? Assumin’ I'm gettin’ the whole thing right.”

My cheeks warm, I stared at the ground. Why had I said that? “It is… more along the lines of wild speculation, and perhaps rather silly.” I sighed, before looking up again at the two of them. “I’ve had a long time to think; maybe she knew the spell would kill everypony, but was willing to make the sacrifice.”

Shade raised an eyebrow, while Silver furrowed his brow in thought. “Is she… you know, did she…?” hesitated Silver.

“Is she dead?” I tried to shrug, but it came off a little stiff. “In the usual sense of the word, at least.”

Shade opened her mouth, but kept quiet upon meeting my gaze. I would explain everything soon enough.

Silence again befell us as we made for the centre of the room. Perhaps there was nothing to see, but my heart longed to be here. It ached. A distant ache, dulled with time. A lonely ache, wishing to be reunited with hopes and dreams lost all these years ago. A wistful ache, nostalgic for a simpler time.

I took a deep breath to clear the feeling long enough to speak up, “I know you’re wondering why I brought you here. I could have told you this back in the sarosian district, but you deserve to see.”

They both looked at me with expectant eyes. “You see, I was born with an illness, rare and fatal. I’ve mentioned it to each of you, but I’ve never given detail. Ever since my birth, soft tissue has been turning to bone. Foals like me rarely experience their first birthday, nevermind their fifth.”

I turned to look at the dais, where I had stood all these years ago. “Mother found an ancient spell capable of keeping the rot at bay, of slowing it down sufficiently to buy me over a decade. Unfortunately, the magic attacked everything, stunting my growth and weakening me. I would not have survived like that.”

Shade and Silver stared at me, neither of them daring to interrupt.

“She studied further, and by my fifth birthday, she devised a ritual: an improved version of the spell. One that was not only permanent, but also targeted, and thus less harmful to me. During the celebration, she borrowed everypony’s strength to cast it.”

Silver’s lips curled into a horrified frown. “I’m… I’m so sorry to hear that. Were they your family too?”

I nodded. “Everypony important enough to be invited to the heir’s first major birthday, which included most of House Fell.”

For a while, we walked in utter silence, save for our steps echoing throughout the room. As I drew near the central dais, Silver asked, “If the spell didn’t work, how come you’re, well, still alive?”

I turned around and tried to smile at him, only managing a grimace. “The spell did work. Even if it didn’t fully cure my disease, it made it livable, if barely.” I sat down in front of the dais, sighing and folding my ears. “Only… nopony expected the cost. Nopony was supposed to die for my sake.”

Silver sat down next to me and put a leg on my withers. A moment later, Shade did the same, on my other side.

“I want to cry so badly,” I whimpered, unable to look at either of them.

Silver rubbed my back. “It’s okay, I can’t imagine how hard it must’ve been to bottle it up for so long. You can let go, just one time.”

I shook my head. “I wish I could, but I’ve cried out all my tears already.”

“That’s alright, too. If you just want to talk, I’m here for you. If you don’t want to talk, I’m here for you. I’m sure the same goes for Shade.”

He pointed to Shade, who nodded solemnly.

“Well… I merely… I don’t know. It has been so long. It is all so far away, and I do not know how to handle it. I barely even knew these ponies. I barely even knew my mother. I just… I don’t know how I’m feeling. I am sad, but also so very grateful for the opportunity they gave me. So very happy that I am alive. But I… I just don’t know.”

Silver moved away to look me in the eye. “Do you feel guilty?” Soon after, Shade removed her leg as well, and I suddenly felt so very cold.

“Huh? Why would I feel guilty? This was no fault of my own.” I stared at him in confusion, but my heart burned.

He stared away for a few moments. When his gaze met mine, he bore a heart-wrenching, sorrowful smile. “Aunt Ferris used to have a kid. Thirty-one years older than me; died when she was just fifty. Never had a father, and we weren’t all that close.” He tried to shrug, but the stiff movement would better be described as a jerk. “Or maybe we were, and I’ve simply managed to block out all memories of her.” He shook his head. “What I’m trying to get at is how she died. She was teaching me how to track, and she made a mistake and had us attacked by a beast. On her own, she would have gotten away, but back then I didn’t know how to fly. She gave her life to save me.”

He gulped. “It wasn’t my fault, not by a long shot, but that didn’t keep the guilt away. Truth is, if I hadn’t been there, she would’ve lived.” A lump formed in the pit of my stomach. He sighed, and opened his mouth multiple times before he finally found the right words. “If you hadn’t been born, if you hadn’t been sick, if your mother hadn’t chosen to save you, all these ponies would still be alive today. And yet, it still ain’t your fault.”

I took a breath, but it caught in my throat. Before I knew it, tears were running down my cheeks. Silver wrapped his wing around my barrel, pulling me close. I did not hiccup, and I did not bawl. I pushed my face into his neck and quietly cried. For a short while, I almost forgot where we were.

The moment was broken by Shade’s voice, the fear in it chilling me to the bone. “Arawn, Silver, I hate to worry you, but… I think one of the statues just moved.”

Silver and I stared at where Shade pointed. My heart drummed in my chest, each beat stretching out for an eternity. Finally, after a dozen seconds, I let go of my breath. The statue took a step forward.

My heart stopped, my fur stood on end, and I did the first, most sane thing that came to mind. I whispered a Word.

Power surged through my veins; the statue crumbled to dust. Silver started, taking off. Shade gasped and, when the next statue moved, ran off, quickly disappearing behind the others. Had this forest of statues always been so dense? I tried to follow her, but one of them blocked my way.

Silver turned around, airborne next to me, facing the other way. Now, every statue in sight moved; some slowly, only occasionally taking a step. Others walked forward at an alarming pace. Oh, no, no, no, no, this was bad. What could I do? I was done for, I—

My eyes settled on a single statue blocking my path. I whispered another Word, and it crumbled as well, while liquid fire burned my body from the inside. Silver followed as I came to a trot, careful to keep my distance from the statues. I sped up to a canter, zigzagging between their outstretched hooves.

Yet more and more of them moved, closing in on me. I dove to dash between two statues, but one raised its hoof to strike me. It was intercepted by Silver’s kick.

He groaned in pain, but only knocked the swing off course a couple of hoof widths. I wasted no time, bolting the other way, looking for another gap. Damn it!

I jumped onto the dais as Silver rubbed his hind ankle, muttering something about his weapons. In the distance, Shade was trying to push open the doors, left alone by the statues. My blood froze; were they drawn to me?

I turned to Silver and reached out my hoof to him. “Give me your foreleg.”

He hesitated for a moment, but one glance at the approaching horde changed his mind. “I don’t think I can carry you over them.”

I shook my head. “That is fine.” As a statue started climbing onto the dais, I muttered another Word. Unlike the previous two, it was easy.

Silver gasped as a stream of blood pierced his skin. It flowed out to form a short sword, clasped around his leg with a few braces, and finally solidified.

What the fuck? he mouthed, before tapping it to the ground, curiosity and confusion painted on his face.

He shook himself out of it just as the statue pulled itself onto the dais. Silver dashed to it, and cut through its outstretched foreleg with a lot more ease than anticipated, nearly losing balance mid-air. The statue fell forward as Silver returned to hover next to me. Others had already started to climb onto the dais, closing in from every side. I gulped, then tried to slow my breathing, to a decent degree of success.

Should I do the same for myself? Make a few daggers out of my blood? No. Sharp as they were, I lacked the strength to cut through an entire limb. What other spells could help? Perhaps—

“There!” Silver pointed his blade at the staircase in the back of the ballroom. Few statues surrounded it, making it our best bet. Well, my best bet.

I nodded and broke into a gallop. Anticipating the backlash, I whispered the Word again, and the nearest statue fell. Fire coursed through my veins. I groaned while Silver cleanly cut one’s head off. Four more, and I would have a clear path. A chill ran down my spine; already, the opening we had created had begun to close.

I would pass out if I cast that spell again. I needed something else. Anything else. Maybe… Wait, would that work? I began a Sentence as I arrived vis-à-vis a larger statue. My paternal aunt.

It walked towards me, heavy hoofsteps audible among the cacophony. I recited Words while I retreated, until I was almost surrounded. I gulped and dove past my aunt, just as her hoof struck the tiles, cracking them. She raised her leg to strike again, only to have it cut off by Silver’s swift slash.

Damn it, Silver! Not his fault; he couldn’t know. I spoke the last few Words. Their power coursed through my veins, and the statue stopped moving. After a few moments, it turned to face the two that still blocked my passage and took a step forward.

I tried to run past them, and when the left one lifted its leg to swing at me, I dove to the right, only to land face-to-face with the other statue. My heart skipped a beat while I stared at it, frozen. It brought its hoof down, but I rolled out of the way at the last moment. I failed to tuck in my head properly, hitting on the cold marble with a yelp.

My hooves slid out from under me as I attempted to stand up and run. My vision blurry, my ears ringing, I lay there for just a second too long. The statue almost slammed its hoof into me, only to be tossed aside by my aunt.

When I finally managed to stand up, my heart thundered in my ears, and a horrid metallic taste filled my mouth. I breathed in, spat out my excess saliva, and bolted up the stairs. A thousand flames burned my lungs with every stair, with every step. In the corner of my eye, Silver flew around to land on the mezzanine. An eternity later, I reached the top.

Snap! I turned around to see my aunt, standing over the statue she had just broken, blocking the stairway.

Behind me, Silver stood on his hind legs, against the railing, keeping weight off his injured ankle. “What do we do?” He was panting almost as heavily as I. “I was hopin’ we could lure them to one side, then have you run down, but they’re already starting to crowd the other staircases. Killing them ain’t complicated, but I don’t have the stamina to get rid of them all, even with this really sharp blood-sword-thing.”

The mezzanine only had a dozen statues walking towards us, but that remained too many for us to handle. It would only be a matter of time before they reached us, or before my aunt gave out. Running past them would bring nothing, since we would still need to find a way down.

Shade stared up at us from near the entrance, terrified and worried.

Silver clicked his tongue. “Don’t know either, huh? Can you glide already? Please say yes.”

I grimaced and shook my head.

“Fuck,” he muttered. “What if I glided with you? Do you think your wings could handle that?” How did he already stop panting? His breathing remained heavy, but was improving by the second.

“If you… give… me… five… minutes…” I managed to reply between gasps for air. We didn’t have that long. As if to prove me right, a crash echoed from downstairs. An idea crossed my mind. Risky, but our only option. “Do you trust me?” I said in a single breath.

He nodded.

“Brace yourself.” Hopefully this was the right choice. One Word later, he slumped against the railing as I drained his energy. Just enough to recover. It rushed through my burning veins like a glacial mountain stream, and I immediately stopped panting. “Tell me when you’re ready,” I said.

He pressed his eyes shut and shook his head. “Gimme a bit.”

His essence quickly started invading my thoughts, making me crave flight, making me crave the feeling of wind—

“Okay, I’m ready.” Already? He flapped his wings and took to the air.

I took a few steps back, coming into view of the statues climbing the stairs. “Here goes nothin’.” I ran towards the railing and helped myself jump over it with a single flap—had I always been able to do that? I spread my wings wide.

Flying over the sea of statues, I was on top of the world. I was untouchable. I was free. I was… falling. My wings, unsteady, ached from the exertion. I tried flapping them, but the haphazard movement only accelerated my descent.

I screamed. The forest of statues came ever closer, all of them turning to me, watching me fall. My wings burned. My heart threatened to give out. My throat throbbed painfully. Silver’s forelegs wrapped around my barrel. He slowed my descent sufficiently for me to regain enough of my bearings to stop screaming and breathe.

I was back on top of the world. Wind brushed through my mane and fur, Silver’s heartbeat tickled my skin, and the smell of sweat filled my nostrils. For an eternal second, I forgot where I was.

I reached the ground, and Silver let go of me at the last moment. My momentum overwhelmed me. I nearly tripped as I landed awkwardly on my ankle. Statues, still several paces away, continued to slowly, steadily close in.

I winced but kept running, favouring my injured leg. So close. Silver reached Shade, and the two of them joined efforts in pushing the door, but to no avail. It had not gotten stuck when I had closed it, had it?

I thought a Word, and a red glow spread around the double doors. I poured more and more effort into pushing them, but they refused to budge. Statues continued their approach.

“Silver? Can you buy me a few seconds?” He nodded and darted off. “Shade, help me. Push.” Better than nothing.

Immediately, I started whispering, blood threatening to boil inside me. I took a look over my shoulder at Silver, slashing away at the nearest statues. After failing to decapitate one, he started aiming for their legs instead.

I shook my head. No distractions. I finished the spell, and the door swung open in one fell swoop, resonating throughout the corridor and the ballroom alike. Shade stumbled outside.

Veins scorched and lungs on fire, I trotted through the door, Silver and Shade in tow. Thankfully, the statues were too slow to catch up to us before I closed the doors. To my surprise, it was nearly effortless. I tied the chains back over the door and waited.

My heart beat once. Twice. Thrice.

They started pounding on the door. Strong as they were, the marble stood stronger. After a dozen seconds, the pounding stopped. I let go of my breath, slumped, and fell on my rump, before flopping on my stomach and letting out a long sigh.

So did Silver. I could not tell which of us smiled first, but soon we started giggling like foals. Sweaty, bruised, beaten and bloody, we laughed. His laugh was light, almost high-pitched, and occasionally broken by a snort as he failed to breathe properly.

Mine came from the gut, until it devolved into squeaking. It was embarrassing, but I could not stop. My laughter died in my throat when my eyes fell on Shade, who was watching us with horribly sad eyes.

I dragged myself towards her, before pulling her into a hug with my wing. She remained tense. I whispered, “I am sorry, Shade. If I had known this would be dangerous, I would not have brought you along. I should have made sure it was safe before risking your lives.”

She relaxed in the embrace, mumbling, “It’s not that. I was just… so scared. So scared that these things would come after me. I wasn’t thinking of helping you at all. All I was hoping was that you’d distract them long enough for me to flee.” Tears hit the marble beneath her.

“That’s okay,” said Silver. “You ain’t a fighter, and you ain’t supposed to be. Anypony would’ve reacted like you in that situation.”

“He is right,” I added. “And if you had stayed with us, we would have had to look out for you.”

“I guess…” She sighed. After a while, she shook her head. “We should go back. I need some time to think about it all, and some time to calm down. These white walls will give me nightmares.”

Silver and I sat at the edge of our cliff. A fall would still kill me, especially since my wings were again wrapped and covered, but the void no longer sucked me in; no longer begged me to walk over the edge like a predator luring its prey. One day, I would glide down. One day.

I craved being airborne. Every second on the ground was too long a wait. I’d never experienced the feeling, but I craved it. Needed it. Couldn’t imagine life without it. Soon, I’d be able to do it on my own. I knew it from the strength in my wings. Just a smidge more training, and I’d learn to glide. Just—

“Whatcha thinking about?” asked Silver. “You’re kinda starin’ off into blank space.”

Damn it, stupid drain spell. Whatever remained of his essence in me must have woken up at the thought of gliding.

“Flying.” I sighed. “Those ten or so airborne seconds in the ballroom, they have made me realise just what I had missed, and what I will probably never have.”

Silver blinked. “What do you mean? You were almost gliding. A bit more training, and you’ll have the hang of it. We both know this ain’t your limit.”

“I mean that I will probably never fly. Gliding is one thing, flying is another.” He opened his mouth, but I cut him off. “I know, I know. It is too early to be pessimistic about it all, but I am in that kind of mood.”

He shifted closer, eyes encouraging me to continue. I swallowed. “I am… unsure of what to do. I wanted to give you two some context for The Tower’s current state.” I stared at the cliff’s edge, scowling. “Instead, I almost got myself and the two of you killed.”

“Arawn.” I turned to look at him. His eyes were kind and forgiving, as always. “It ain’t your fault. You couldn’t have known.”

My ears wilted. “I should have been more careful.” I shook my head, biting my lip to stop tears. “Besides that, I should have told you to run when I realised the statues were after me, but it never even crossed my mind.” I stared at the ground in front of him. “I took your loyalty for granted; did not even stop to consider you would want to live.”

There. It was out. Sooner or later, he would have realised it anyway. Realised that I had used him, that—

“As you should.” My head whipped up, and my ears stood straighter than I thought possible. I gaped at him. “I mean it. I’m your friend, and I’ll always have your back. I don’t want you to ever question that, not even for a heartbeat.” A fiery determination burned in his eyes as he reiterated, “Take my loyalty for granted, because it is.”

Words caught in my throat. So many things I wanted to say, yet none of them were appropriate.

Instead, I kissed him. It only lasted a brief eternity. When my mind caught up with my body, I panicked, backing up.

Silver’s mouth hung open as he stared at a point far behind me. “Ahgwah?” was all he managed to say before I started rambling.

“Oh gosh, oh gosh, oh gosh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just kind of forgot to think, and I swear I didn’t mean anything by it and—” I cut myself off, then shook my head. “No, that is not what I should be saying.” I took a deep breath, holding onto my courage with all four hooves. “I apologise for kissing you without asking, Silver.” I gulped. “The truth is, I think I am in love with you.”

He stared at me, mouth agape. Silent, shocked, unmoving. I smiled. “There are so many great things I love about you. Your willingness to stand up for complete strangers, how hard you work for your goals, how you treat your friends, and your seemingly unbounded optimism are the first things that come to mind.” I smiled. Once I started, I could not stop. “But there are also so many little things: the way you rub your neck when embarrassed, your laugh, your accent. So many tiny, insignificant things.”

Tears were threatening to spill. Tears of relief, of happiness, or tears of worry? “But I know…” I tried to keep my smile, but it turned into an uncomfortable grimace. “But I know that we should not; that we could not ever be together. Truly together. Not with how things are right now.”

I clenched my jaw as a single sob escaped me, tears rolling down my cheeks. “And I know it would be hard. I know I could never impose this choice on you.” I sniffed, swallowed, and braced myself. “Thus I swear on everything I hold dear, I will not hold your decision against you. Whether you feel the same or not.”

“I…” mumbled Silver. We stared at each other in silence. Each second stretched into eternity. He kept opening his mouth. Every time, my heart stopped. Every time, he stayed silent. He would look at me, then avert his gaze again. I waited. Every moment passing by, I grew more certain of his answer, yet every heartbeat raised my hopes further.

Finally, his lips curled into a horrible, heartbroken smile. “I can’t, Arawn, I’m sorry.” He tore his gaze away from mine, tears in his eyes, and turned away. “I need to go,” he muttered.

And so he left.

Author's Note

Ktoś, kto oryginalną (to znaczy, bardzo starą) wersję tego rozdziału przeczytał mi kiedyś powiedział "The thing is, I really like it and how it's going but feel like with some polish it could be even better", no to zdecydowałam dla niego to tutaj po polsku napisać.

On a more serious note, huge thanks to Everfree for saving this chapter. I basically wrote it from scratch 3 times, and by the third version it had become a mere checklist of plot points. Everfree convinced me to give the chapter some well-deserved soul.

Hell, I think it’s my favourite chapter now.

Edit from future Etyco: It’s no longer my favourite chapter. I still love it, but there are others I like more.

S7 — Shattered

Aurora’s breath reeked of alcohol. With her foreleg draped across my withers, her head right next to mine, our cheeks occasionally brushed together. I tried to time my breath to avoid hers, but it barely helped.

Holding my breath was not an option, either; I was already panting from the effort of carrying somepony heavier than me.

With every passing second, it took more effort to ignore it all. The way her fur rubbed against mine, how her tail brushed against my legs. Every little touch set my chest abuzz with a dozen emotions, each of them alien and terrifying. Each breath was harder than the last, yet I dared not let it show.

It took more and more focus not to gulp. On second thought, why was I nervous about that? Why would the Captain care if I gulped? Why was I so nervous about any of this, really?

She was just having me help her home. I’d been to her mansion over a hundred times, so why was this time any different? I had a bloody room there, for Hades’ sake. I’d carried injured, heavier ponies for longer distances. This was nothing. Yet, with every step I took, I approached the inevitable conclusion to this night. I knew it, but I could not accept it.

The Captain shifted her head away from my face, but my relief was short-lived, because she instead draped her hot, damp neck over mine. A bead of sweat rolled down her muzzle, and landed on my cheek, making me shudder.

Strands of purple mane. The thump of her heart. The heat of her breath on my ear. The smell of sweat. How much further? The trip wasn’t very long, so we should be there soon. How much longer could I endure?

She swallowed. Her throat brushed against my neck. I almost broke then and there, biting my lip to hold back tears. They threatened to run down my cheek if I blinked too fast or too slow. Why was this such a big deal? I was just escorting a drunk mare back to her place. Nothing more, nothing less.

I tripped. Aurora almost fell alongside me, only to regain her balance at the very last moment. Thank the Stars. If she’d landed on me—

A gust made her step back. No, not a gust; the wind was still blowing, intensifying! She tried leaning forward to brace herself, but an instant later, her hooves lifted off the ground. Another, and the tempest had dragged her away, before stopping just as quickly as it had begun.

What.

I stood up, staring down the corridor. At least it was over. Moon knew how, I’d been saved from this nightmare.

“Take a seat, Silver,” said a voice behind me. When I turned around, Selena was sitting on a throne made of cloud, levitating a cup of tea in front of her. She gave me a sad little smile, and I lay down on my own cloud, lifting my cup off the floating table.

Birds all around the clearing chirped as I hesitantly took a sip. It must have been mating season, given the intensity of their song. I stretched my wings, letting the sun caress my primaries.

I set down my cup. “Afternoon, Miss Selena. Been a while since our last talk, ain’t it?” Something nagged at the back of my mind that I was too calm, that I should be upset, but the reason for it completely escaped me.

“Hello, Silverstring. My apologies, I have been rather busy with my duties, and I’m afraid I have neglected our little talks.” She set down her cup. “How have you been? Are your wounds healing well?”

I nodded. “I’m basically back to perfect health. Don’t understand how, but I won’t complain.”

“That’s great.” She beamed. An infectious grin so broad that it surprised me. It was not a noble’s smile. It was not gentle, yet controlled. No, it was none of those things; Selena was simply that relieved to learn I’d recovered. “I am very happy to hear that.”

“Although,” I added in a sheepish tone, “I’ve gotten myself injured again.” For a moment, Selena tensed. “It’s just a pulled muscle, though.”

She smiled at my antics. “What happened?”

“Arawn wanted to show me and a friend of ours something, but we were attacked by living statues,” I said as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

Selena blinked, though didn’t quite give me the reaction I’d hoped for. “I am intrigued; tell me more.” As I gathered my thoughts to reply, she added, “I understand you and Arawn have made up? I would like to hear about that as well.”

I nodded, and told her everything leading up to our escape from the ballroom. Then my smile turned into a frown. “Everything was going so great, up until she confessed her love to me.” I stared at my hooves, unable to bring myself to say it. When I heard Selena open her mouth I lifted my gaze and said, “At which point I ran away.”

Selena raised both eyebrows. “Did I misunderstand something? Did you not feel the same?”

“That’s the problem!” I said, much louder than intended, making her wince. I lowered my voice to a mutter. “I almost said yes. I know we can’t ever be together, that it would be beyond stupid to try. But when I look at her, at her soft face or at those beautiful red eyes, all those reasons disappear.”

Selena frowned. “I apologise. It didn’t cross my mind,” she said. “I did not mean to tear open the wound.”

“It’s okay.” I gave her a weak smile, then watched my tea as I swirled it. “Her confession was three days ago already. Today, she came to see me while I stood guard for Aurora. Told me to find her at our usual spot in the evening, so that she could take me to her room.”

“Are you worried she would try to…” Selena hesitated for a moment, “Change your mind?”

“No. She ain’t the type to break a promise.” I stared into my tea for a few long moments. “I’m worried I’ll change my own mind. But you already know that, don’t you?”

Selena gave me a gentle, understanding smile. “Apologies. I just wanted to have you say it again.”

I furrowed my brow. “Huh? Why?” Was she playing games? Why would she do that?

“So you would maybe realise that you don’t need to do this to yourself.” She wore a blank expression as she watched me, sipping her tea. “Is it really so bad to bring some light into the dark? Do you truly have to deny yourself something good?”

“It’s too risky! If we’re found out…” I tried shaking my head, perhaps in an attempt to convince myself.

Selena raised a sceptical eyebrow. “You fought a chimæra, but this is too risky for you?”

“Yes, because the bloody risk ain’t worth the reward.” I gritted my teeth.

“You mean that your own happiness is not worth it?” I held her gaze for a bit. When I looked away, she said, “I have met many ponies like you. Pretending you are all right. Suffering quietly. Alone.”

“I don’t do that! I lean on Arawn when I feel down. I just don’t need her to be more than my friend.”

“And yet The Tower is eroding you. Week by week, day by day, it is chipping away at the pony you were when you came in.” She sighed, wearing a pained smile. “You might not realise it, but you’ve matured so much in little more than a year. It worries me.”

“And why is that bad, huh? I’m bloody tired of being treated like a kid.” I huffed. “Besides, you act like I’m suffering, but compared to the foals of The Tower, it’s nothing. I’m lucky. I’m a guest to an important pony, I get to choose how I spend my days, and I’ll be able to leave sooner or later.”

Her sad smile took on a knowing, understanding vibe. It chilled me to the bone. “You haven’t exactly had it easy either, you know?”

“Compared to them? Yes, I have!” I was shouting, tired of holding back. “The Forest of Braymor might be dangerous, but it’s not half as bad as growing up being treated as less than a pony! Did you know the wardens collect blood from their prisoners every month? It’s why earth ponies are considered so much more valuable! Because they can give more of their blood! How is anything I went through comparable to that? I had a bloody normal childhood.”

“I was referring to your stay in The Tower. Ponies born in The Tower have it tough, yes, but they have also never known the outside world. They do not understand it. For many, it’s a distant dream to leave, but nothing more. They cannot miss the sky, for they have never seen it.” I tried to hold her gaze, but her pained smile took the wind out of my sails. “Somepony like you, though… Especially a pegasus. I can only imagine what you are going through.”

“It’s fine. Really.” I pawed at the cloud below me, refusing to meet her gaze. “I’ve been here, what, a year and a half at most? I can deal with it. I have friends.” So what if I couldn’t see the sky? So what if I was stuck here a little? So what if Aurora refused to acknowledge my accomplishments? So what if—

I made the mistake of meeting Selena’s sad, wise gaze again. “Even if you turn a blind eye to your own suffering, you cannot hide it from the ponies who care about you.” She stared at her tea for a few moments. “Just please… please promise me to leave this place when you get the chance. Do not let anypony or anything stop you. Save yourself, Silver.”

I awoke to a wet pillow. I’d had that nightmare again, hadn’t I? Must have been in the middle of the night, because I was calm. For once, I was thankful I did not remember a dream.

I was in Arawn’s room. It was big. Well, I stood in her room’s vestibule, but I could see the rest of it behind her. Sweet Stars, Moon, and Sun, I was in Arawn’s room. My heart beat at an impossible rate. I wanted nothing more than to leave; I couldn’t keep my tail still. When Arawn took off her cloak, I blurted, “Okay, we’re here. Please tell me what you wanted to tell me.”

Arawn winced. “Right,” she muttered as she stared at the ground, ears drooping. “Sorry…”

I vehemently shook my head. “It’s… it’s not that; I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t be in the estate, and I really shouldn’t be in your room.” I tried to smile, but my cheeks were far too heavy. “Ponies could get the wrong idea.”

She pawed at the ground. “Uh, nopony ever comes to my room after dinner time.” She turned away, and quickly added, “I mean, not that it means we should waste time.” She forced out an awkward chuckle, before briefly meeting my gaze, only to then stare at the ground again.

Which was worse: four days of barely talking to her, or having her act like this? The former had me on edge, while the latter pained me. Would it really be such a crime to make her happy? To kiss her soft lips, to run my hooves through her mane, to stare into those beautiful eyes for hours on end?

Oh no. She had started talking while I was lost in thought. “I’m sorry, what was that? My mind was, uh, somewhere else.” Bloody Hades! This had all been so easy to ignore before. Why couldn’t we go back before she made things awkward?

“It’s… It’s okay.” She tried to smile. “I was saying that I am going to, uh, show you something very important.” She ran a hoof through her mane, fidgeting for a few moments, her tail flicking nervously. Hours might as well have passed before she spoke up again, “It’s… it’s not something anypony outside the Fell Family should know.”

What if I married into it? No, shut up! That was a thought I should especially avoid! Quick, what should I say? “Are you sure that’s a good idea?” Absolutely amazing choice of words, Silver. Great job, you bloody idiot.

Arawn winced, then bit her lip, and attempted another smile. “Well, I trust you.”

Did I really deserve to know something like this? But if she wanted to tell me, who was I to say no? Although why would she reveal an important secret to a nopony such as myself? At the very least, why not show it to a smart pony, like Shade? Or was this really a ploy to get me to marry into the Fell family? What if, by showing this thing to me, she essentially made me part of the family?

“Uhm,” she mumbled. “Maybe we should sit down first?” She forced out another chuckle.

I gulped, and nodded.

She gestured for me to follow and turned around, leading me into her room proper. It was larger than what I saw from the vestibule. In fact, it was larger than I could have imagined.

My only point of reference was the guards’ meeting room in Hockney manor—sweet Stars, that hungover morning when Pearflower told me to deliver a letter felt like a lifetime ago. While Arawn’s bedchamber was noticeably smaller, the fact I could only compare it to a room thirty ponies could effortlessly fit in spoke volumes. The ceiling ran so high, I would have needed four or five flaps to reach it.

Yet… as huge as the walls were, they left hardly any awkward empty space on them. My gaze caught on five portraits of Arawn and her family, each painted at a different age.

On the first, she was a baby, barely a year old, held in the foreleg of a mare who could only be her mother. On the other side stood the Viscount, as imposing as ever. Yet, he seemed happy, relaxed. A polar opposite to the stallion I had met a few months ago.

On the second, the mare was gone, and Arawn sat on the ground, wearing a blank expression. Her father stood next to her, a forced, worried smile on his face. The third was similar, Arawn having barely grown despite the decade between the two.

On the fourth painting, Arawn already looked a lot like the one I knew, though younger by maybe two or three years, possibly less, and much weaker. A fancy dress hugged her bony barrel. Dark bags marred her beautiful eyes.

I tore my gaze away from that wall. My eyes landed on her bed. It was easily twice as wide as any I’d ever slept in, the sheets soft and warm. Its four posts nearly reached the ceiling, curtains hanging from them. To the bed’s left, another curtain hung from the wall. Could that be a window to the outside? Like, the outside-outside? Somehow, I doubted it, yet the hope remained.

On the large, thick carpet lay a pile of stuffed animals, many of which I failed to recognise. One of them in particular caught my eye. It had a feline body, but some kind of wild, thick mane. A plush stirred in the corner of my eye. Must have been unbalanced.

I pressed my eyes shut. After my bout of insomnia yesterday, they had been burning all day.

After I opened them again, they settled on a desk in a corner, covered in sheets of expensive paper, as well as a few books. A bookshelf leaned against the wall to the right of her bed, not even a quarter full. From the few books I recognised at a glance, they must have been her personal favourites. After all, why else would she have a bookshelf in her room if she had access to a library in the same house?

An ugly emotion crept its way into my heart as we walked towards the middle of the room: jealousy.

Because I had stopped, Arawn turned around to face me. As she met my gaze, her face grew worried. “Are you okay?”

I winced. Of course she would notice. How could I talk myself out of this? No, it would be far too obvious. “It’s just… I’ve never even really had my own room.” Technically, the Captain had let me use one in the servants’ quarters, but it was more of a guest room, and it was tiny. “And here you are, with something… something like this. I just… I just can’t help but feel a little jealous.”

“I…” She frowned, furrowed her brow. “I’m sorry. I didn’t think about that at all.” She looked away for a moment, hesitant. “I could try to arrange better living quarters for you.”

I smiled, shaking my head. Stars, how I wanted to kiss her. “I appreciate it, but it’s alright.” Then the realisation of what I had just declined hit me, and I winced. “Actually, lemme correct myself.” I rubbed my neck, awfully conscious of it. It was a bad habit. Nevermind that; don’t get distracted. “If you can easily find me a nice place I could call my own—at least until I leave The Tower—I would gladly accept it. I just don’t want you to go through a lot of trouble for me.”

For the first time in four days, Arawn wore a genuine smile. “I’ll see what I can do.” My stomach fluttered. Damn it, bad brain! Down!

She lay down on the carpet in front of me, and her mask of pretend calm returned. My heart sank, and my ears wilted. “I think we should discuss what I wanted to show you, before we get sidetracked.” She took a deep breath. “Do you remember what I told you about ruling The Tower? That I am the most qualified?”

I nodded. “You also said you couldn’t talk about it.”

“Tell me.” She looked me in the eye, nervousness replaced by resolve. “Who do you think is currently in control of it?”

“Of The Tower? Wouldn’t it be the viscount?” Probably not the case; else she wouldn’t have asked.

She confirmed my suspicion with a shake of her head. “Father has sway over the political side. No, the pony who actually runs The Tower is Mother.”

Wasn’t she dead? How should I ask that tactfully? Oh, right. “She’s still around?” Actually, that sounded a lot more awkward than it had in my head.

If Arawn minded, she didn’t show it. “Not quite. Her mortal body has perished, but her soul is bound to The Tower, united with it.”

I blinked. “What.”

“It… it is complicated to explain. Please take my word for it, for now.” I furrowed my brow, but nodded. Arawn breathed in. “It is what makes her the Morrigan.”

“The Morri-what?” Half an instant later, I added, “Nevermind, dumb question.” I let my mind run free for a few moments, answering obvious questions before my mouth could ask them. “And I take it nopony other than you can take her spot? Because you're her daughter?"

"Yes, and no, respectively,” she said, bobbing her head left, then right along her words. “I brought you here to show you the specific reason; it has to do with why I am capable of magic."

“Hey, just so we’re on the same page; I appreciate you wanting to share this with me, but…” How could I put this without sounding dismissive, or like I didn’t care? “You don't need to show me if it's such a big secret. I believe you. I really do.”

“Do not think of it as me doing you a favour. Think of it as me asking you for one. It is important to me that you understand the extent of my situation.”

“Wait, what? Why didn’t you lead with that?”

“I did not really know how you would react.” She turned her gaze to her hooves, picking at some lint stuck to her clothes. “I know it is silly, but after I screwed things up between us, I was worried you wouldn’t be willing to do a favour for me.”

It took a lot of focus to not cut her off. “You didn’t screw things up. I don’t think any less of you for it.” In fact, my feelings for her had redoubled at the idea of them being requited. Anyway! “And besides, I meant what I said about leaning on me. Anything you ask of me, I will at the very least strongly consider.”

Her mask crumbled away, replaced by a beautiful smile. “Thanks.” As it turned slightly sheepish, she passed a hoof through her hair. “And I apologise for worrying so much about this.”

Warmth filled my chest. “It’s okay. We both know you’re a worrywart.”

“Hey!” she protested, before averting her gaze and pouting.

A chuckle escaped me. “Anyway, why do you think of this as a favour? Are you worried it might be hard to keep such a secret from me? Or is it maybe so important that ponies might come after me for knowing it?” I stood up on my hind legs, balancing with my wings, and boxed a few shadows. “Well, they won’t have a good time catching me.”

Arawn burst out laughing. Oh how I had missed the sound of it! Unfortunately, it only lasted a few moments. When she opened her mouth, any mirth had left it. The sudden change dropped a boulder into the pit of my stomach. “No… It is something you might end up wishing you had never seen.” Her tone perfectly conveyed the severity of her words. If it hadn’t, I would have brushed her off.

I gulped. “I can deal with that, I think. At least, I’m willing to give it a try for you. Show me.”

“Thank you.” Just like that, her smile was back, albeit subdued. “Though before that, are there other questions you would like to ask me?”

What, did she want to give me a chance to change my mind? Still, I thought about it for a long while, and nodded. “There’s something I don’t get. If your mother’s still alive, and she’s in control of The Tower… why doesn’t she fix things? Or is she like your father, unwilling to do so?”

“She is mindless,” Arawn stated as though it was the most normal thing in the world. “Without a body, the soul stagnates; it cannot comprehend new information. The Tower is constantly changing, and sometimes in ways a mere soul cannot comprehend. There are ways for us to slow the decline, but Father refuses to acknowledge the issue; he has too much faith in Mother.”

“I... see.” I stayed quiet for a few moments, blinking as my poor brain struggled to put together what she had said. “So essentially, you're the only one who can become the next Morrigan and fix everything? Did I get that right?” She nodded. “Well… uh… when do we start?”

“Not now, nor within the next decade. There are too many things I do not understand about the Morrigan. That knowledge is usually passed down from mother to daughter, but mine never had the time.” She bit her lip, grimacing. “I am nowhere near ready to take on that role. Instead, I want to strike a deal with the rebels. I have asked Shade to figure out the best avenue to approach them. Thankfully, Farrier is siding with the Rebels, which should make her job easier.”

“Then… what do you want me to do?” I wasn’t exactly as subtle as Shade.

“Be by my side and help me face the storm. Act as both my advisor, and later my personal knight.” She wore an expression I loved seeing on her; resolute and confident, it elevated her from a cute filly to a beautiful young mare.

Yet, after a few moments, the giddiness faded. I slowly nodded.

My disappointment must have been obvious, as Arawn hesitated before adding, “Though right now, I would appreciate it if you could put aside some time to look for Doctor Vitro. I wanted to talk to her about the surgery; try to coax some more information out of her, and figure out whatever the Hades she did to us.” She groaned. “However, when I went to see her again, she was missing. Her lab was completely abandoned.”

“I can do that.” My lips curled into a smile. “Thanks.”

“Think nothing of it.” Her smile disappeared as quickly as it had appeared. “Was that all?” I nodded. “Then it is time for me to show you the source of my power.”

Oh, right. “Actually, that brings up another question: is that why it needs to be a secret? Because otherwise, anypony could wield it?”

She nodded. “Partly. It is a family heirloom. In reality, it would take decades for somepony to reach my level—longer without the same blessing as I have—but allowing ponies to know about it would only encourage theft attempts. It would probably take somepony well over half a century to learn enough to have a chance at becoming the Morrigan.”

Again, it made sense, but… “Partly? What more is there?”

She sighed. “While most of the family heads are aware of House Fell’s relation to The Tower, none know exactly what that entails. If they knew… chaos would break loose.”

I blinked. “Why? It can’t be that bad, can it?”

“I will let you decide for yourself, Silver, if you’re ready.” After I nodded, she stood up and headed for the back of her room, towards that odd curtain.

“Out of curiosity… Would I be able to learn some of that magic? Or is it a sarosian thing only?”

“In time, probably, but… I would not recommend it.” She hesitated for a moment. “It is far from easy, and it might not be worth the time, effort, and other issues it might cause for you.”

I blinked. “Wouldn’t that be up to me to decide?” Damn it, I’d spoken too quickly! “I mean, uh, if you don’t want me to, I won’t learn it.” I rubbed the back of my head. Stop that! “But if you don’t mind, I would like to at least try.”

She gave me a small smile and shrugged. “I suppose we will see.” She took a few steps forward and waved me over. “Come on. I will show you.”

I followed her to the curtains. Her magic moved them aside, revealing a metal door covered with four chains running diagonally and horizontally across. The chains were held in place by thick locks, similar to the ones on the ballroom door. However, these were engraved with symbols of some kind.

Arawn opened her mouth before turning to me. “Are you truly certain? You will learn things you might prefer not knowing. There will be no going back for you and how you see me. This is the last moment to change your mind.”

Was I certain? Was she overplaying it, or was I underestimating the situation? It didn’t matter. I nodded once. “I’m your friend, and if doing this will take a load off your back, then I’ll learn a thousand dark secrets and whatnot.”

Arawn’s smile was as genuine as it was pained. “In that case…”

She whispered something, and one of the locks clicked open, leaving the chain to dangle. A chill ran down my spine. Another lock, another chill. She reached for the handle, pulling the door open. It had been meant to keep something in, not out.

This couldn’t be that bad, could it? Was it too late to change my mind? Why would I change my mind? It was creepy, but I could handle that.

As she opened the door, a glacial wind escaped it, making me shiver and my fur stand on end. Arawn, however, did not even flinch as she looked back. “Are you cold? Do you want my sweater?”

I slowly shook my head. “No, it’s fine now…” The cold had left as quickly as it had come.

The door had revealed a long corridor, but Arawn blocked my view of what lay at the end as she led the way. I followed; with every step, more of my coat stood on end. Eventually, a pedestal came into view, a thick book bound in plain leather resting atop it. With every step, the room grew colder. Yet I was sweating.

My body screamed at me to run, louder and clearer with every step. Yet with every step, the book’s pull grew stronger. I needed it between my hooves. I needed to feel its soft leather cover. I needed its smell of old book. I needed everything it could tell me, show me, teach me.

The Whispers grew louder. Whispers I had never heard before. Whispers that had always been there, that had always surrounded us. They were here. They were everywhere. At every moment, at every instant.

My heart beat several times a second, loud as a drum. Yet it was so distant, so inconsequential, so mundane. It didn’t matter. The Whispers mattered. The book mattered.

I reached out to touch it.

Screams echoed around me. Tens, hundreds, thousands of souls cried in dissonant unison. Visions of destruction, blind and indiscriminate. Overwhelming pain, omnipresent and ever-intensifying. My nerves burned, my muscles spasmed, my eyes shook, my ears rang.

It all stopped, and I was the only one screaming, lying on the floor, drenched in icy sweat. Arawn’s concerned face leaned down right as the edges of my vision blackened, and I lost consciousness.

I understood. I understood how little I knew, how little I was. I understood so much of the magic inside the book, the magic around the world. All of it beyond my grasp. I knew so much, yet understood none of it.

I shifted on the extremely soft and warm bed. Did the medical ponies give me a bed upgrade or something? I turned on my back and settled into a more comfortable position, groaning as the blanket slid off of me. I’d somehow fallen asleep in a position that was far from good for me; several joints popped.

Unfortunately, I was awake. I wanted to enjoy the comfort a bit longer, but my mind was already set on starting the day, so why resist it? Oh, right, I was released from medical care a while ago already. Did Aurora get me a better bed? What was my schedule for today, anyway?

No, I was still off duty for two days. Did I have anything else to do today? Didn’t Arawn want to—

My eyes shot open. I scrambled to close my legs and get into a more presentable position, only to end up sitting on my rump with my legs in front of me.

Arawn sat at her desk, hunched over a book. She slowly turned around and said, “Oh, you’re awake.” I had the briefest hope that somehow, she hadn’t seen anything, but the intense blush beneath her ever so light pink coat told me otherwise.

Fuck. Sweet Moon, drop a star on me. “I’m so sorry!” I blurted out without stopping to think. “I wasn’t awake, and I just–I didn’t know where I was, and I-I’m so sorry!” I jumped out of bed.

Arawn forced out a chuckle. “The fault is not thine—” She shook her head, rubbing the back of her neck. “Sorry, I was reading a weird old book. It’s not your fault. I should have made sure to properly cover you, and—actually, can we drop the subject?”

I nodded and went to lay with my stomach on the thick carpet. A moment later, she sat down in front of me.

A heavy, awkward silence stretched over the two of us as we avoided each other’s eyes. I was trying to find something to say, but my mind would not leave the horror of what had just happened. Even the book—

Nope, not thinking about that, either. “So, uh, read any good books lately?” I asked.

“Uh, yeah.” Arawn let out another nervous chuckle, meeting my eyes for a few seconds. “Apart from the one I mentioned earlier, I’ve been reading one about a mare who believed she was a fruit.” She rubbed her hoof on her leg. “It is hard to say why without ruining the story, but it is a very good book.”

“That sounds pretty interesting.” It kind of didn’t. “I’ll have to check it out.” But I’d have to trust her.

Silence fell over us again. I looked around the room, desperate to find something to turn the conversation towards. Should I talk about the grimoire? I shuddered. No. The family pictures? As if this conversation wasn’t already awkward enough. What about… “By the way, what’s with that pile of plushies?”

Arawn blinked, before breathing a relieved sigh. “Oh, those? I made them. Well, except that orange tabby. That one is Mother’s work.”

“I didn’t know you sewed.” Please, let this topic last.

“I do not. What I meant is…” She furrowed her brow in thought. “Actually, I think it is best to show you.” She turned to the dolls. “Everyone, let us play.”

One by one, the plushies rose and walked down the pile, through no apparent effort on her part. There were maybe a dozen.

A few moments later, they surrounded us, hopping and skipping. Most of their movements were mechanical and unsophisticated, though the tabby danced around much more fluidly. Was it staring at me?

To give the animated dolls more space, I stepped closer to Arawn. Oh. I was too close. Not that she would mind. No, not thinking about that now.

She nodded at them. “Like I said, most of these are my own creations.”

Before either of us could say another word, the tabby jumped me with enough force to knock me off balance. It started repeatedly slamming its paws into my chest. It wasn’t much worse than a colt or filly wailing on me, but from something so small, it came as a surprise.

Before my mind could truly catch up to what was happening, Arawn stomped her hoof. “Enough.”

The dolls fell, limp.

“What the…?” I said.

Arawn ran up to me, offering me a hoof. “Sorry! She’s never done that before. Not to me or Aurora, at least. Are you okay?”

I took her hoof and sat up. “She?”

“Mother’s finest magic; my sister.”

I blinked and nodded. I didn’t want to think about any of this.

Arawn offered an apologetic smile. “Like I was saying, my magic isn’t quite as good as Mother’s… but this is the first time she’s done something like that.” She sighed, slowly shaking her head as she enveloped each plushie in the same nearly invisible red glint she used to lift her blades.

We sat there in silence for a while longer. I didn’t know what else to say. The dolls creeped me out, but I might hurt Arawn if I said anything about it.

“I think…” said Arawn. “I think I should address the elephant in the room. What did you think of the Crimson Skin?”

I blinked. “The what?”

“The book you saw in the back of that room.” She pointed to the door, once again locked up and chained.

Right. That.

Come to think of it… What had even happened back there? It had been unpleasant, and the book would forever haunt me, but why? I had no idea. “I… I don’t know. I vaguely remember what happened, but…” A shiver ran down my spine as more memories poured in. It was a miracle I hadn’t soiled myself. Sweet Sun, perhaps I had, and Arawn had to clean me up. I pushed the horrifying thought aside, pretending like I had never had it. “What is it? It felt like… like so much more than I can understand.”

Arawn nodded. “That is all normal when meeting it for the first time. Still, I think your reaction was admirable.”

“It was?” I raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t I scream like a colt?”

Another nod. “You did, but I was worse. At least you managed to get close to it. When I was little, I tried to show it to Aurora as well, and she ran out screaming not even halfway down the corridor.” She tried to reassure me with her voice, but her eyes betrayed how guilty she felt about it. “Anyway, you asked what it is. It is a… family heirloom. The Crimson Skin used to be malicious; it used to try to exploit ponies who made contact with it.”

“You’re saying that it’s no longer malicious? The way it called out to me, how it was trying to trick me to touch it… If that thing is capable of malice, then I’m pretty sure that was malice.”

“It used to be worse. It used to promise ponies everything they wanted. The ponies who used it, thus, were wretched and vile. As it absorbed part of them, it too became vile. It preyed on ponies willing to give up their equinity for power.” Was that pride dawning on her face? “Not my family. We have been giving ourselves to the Skin for generations, without expecting anything in return. I think things would have gone very differently if you had encountered the Crimson Skin of even a thousand years ago.”

I gulped. “Still. It’s creepy, and I don’t like it.” There. The bandaid was off. Hopefully she wouldn’t hate me for this. “It reminds me of that nightmare I had about a few weeks ago, right after my fight with the chimæra.”

Surprise dawned on her face. “Nightmare? You never told me about it, but it sounds like it’s a big deal if you still remember it.”

“Never got around to it.” I shrugged. “Then I kinda forgot.”

She smiled. “Well, tell me. What was it about?” Finally, our conversation was beginning to sound normal again.

“I dunno. Way too abstract for me. I was in the training grounds, at night, when some kind of star monster started talking to me.” I chuckled. “I realise it doesn’t sound very scary when I put it like that, but in the moment it was terrifying.”

Arawn shared my laugh. A sound I could never get enough of. Maybe things could go back to normal after all, even with her confession and my screw-up.

“What did it say?” she asked. “Did it threaten to kill you?”

“Worse. Kind of. It wanted to make a deal with me of some kind. Claimed The Tower didn’t belong to ponies or whatever—did I mention the dream didn’t even happen in The Tower?—then offered me freedom if I helped it.”

With every word I spoke, Arawn’s smile faded further. “Did… did it give you its name?” Her low, worried tone sent a ball of ice into the pit of my stomach.

I gulped. “It d-did. It called itself Erebus.”

Arawn went pale as a sheet as she stared at me, and gulped. “That… That is bad. Things are a lot worse than I imagined.”

“Is there something I can do?”

“Not right now. I was planning on having a friendly sleepover with you after I showed you the Skin, but I’m going to have to stay up all night and study up on things.” She cursed under her breath. “I’ll get you back to the sarosian district first, don’t worry.”

A8 — Hidden Phantoms

I dove for the manticore and planted a kick in its ribs, finally earning its attention. “Hide! There, in the rubble!” I shouted to the bright red colt who had almost fallen prey to the beast. For but a moment, he stood paralysed, before diving for a gap between the rocks.

I ducked underneath the swing of the manticore's claws, the wind left in its wake much too close to my throat. With a double-legged buck, I pushed myself away from it. The other manticore—female, given its lack of mane—dove for the rocks, and began swiping its paw inside the gap, making the colt shriek in terror.

After a deep breath, I gathered magic at the tips of my wings, and dove forward, slashing at the male. He ducked underneath it, but I left him no opportunity for a counterattack. I was fast; too fast for a beast like him.

However, two might be a problem. As he roared, the female turned her head towards us. Her eyes locked on me, and she took off. Two on one would be difficult. At least she had stopped harassing that poor colt. And hey, I had an excuse to stop holding back.

Never taking my eyes off either manticore, I reached for a strap on my thigh, hooking the dagger’s handle into my shoe. My throw was too fast, and the male just barely dodged, the blade cutting a few hairs’ widths into his hide.

When I threw the second dagger at the beast, it completely missed its mark. However, the first dagger had already returned and slashed across the manticore’s back.

The female started closing in on me while the male turned to face what had attacked him. Pretending to aim at the female, I threw another dagger, only to launch it at the male at the last moment. The female tried to avoid it, which only slowed down her flight.

I dove at her, shortsword brandished. My three daggers kept the male occupied, diving in and out of his paws’ range, leaving shallow cuts all across his body.

I easily dodged out of the female’s way, throwing the last of my knives at her. Between my rapid-fire slashes, and my dagger cutting into the beast whenever she was distracted by the batpony in front of her, the fight was over in moments. Each wound across her wings slowed her down, further facilitating my job, until I finally slit her throat in one fell swoop.

By the time I was done with the female, the male had already bled out from the dozens of wounds my daggers had left on his body.

Heart pounding in my ears and grin on my face, I turned my attention to the pile of rubble the mare had hidden in. When I landed, she asked before I could speak up, “Is it safe?”

“Yes, you can come out.” I donned a more reassuring smile as the tall blue unicorn crawled out of the debris.

When she stood up, she smiled back at me. “Thank you for saving me, miss. I don’t want to think about what would have happened if you hadn’t been here.”

I brushed her off with a wave of my hoof. “Oh, don’t mention it. I am merely glad I could help.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Well, for somepony as strong as you, it shouldn’t come as a surprise, right?”

I shrugged and waved for her to follow as I started walking towards town. “Well, there are always monsters scarier than the last, so you can never underestimate them. There are also times when you simply cannot help somepony, no matter what you attempt.” A sad, pained half-smile crept its way onto my lips. “Sometimes, try as you might, you do not make it on time.”

The mare stood there for a moment, staring at me, before catching up to me. “You’re pretty wise, miss.”

I feigned an offended gasp. “Why do you sound so surprised? I’ll have you know I’m the wisest pony my height within line of sight.” It took all my focus not to laugh at my own joke. I was in way too good a mood today. Why was that? Maybe I’d see my husband again? I didn’t remember.

While I was busy with my thoughts, the stranger laughed. “No, I just meant that you’re pretty young. Usually, you hear old mares say things like that.”

I theatrically skipped over a small rock before smiling at her. “I know, I figured.” I walked backwards for a few steps as I asked, “By the way, what’s your name? It’s probably a good idea to ask before we part ways, you know?”

She chuckled. “I’m Selena. I’m a farmer around these parts. What about you?”

“Fate. Well, my full name’s Fated Strings, but everypony just calls me Fate.” I joined in her laugh, rubbing my neck. “Well, except my Auntie, who still calls me by my old name, I suppose. And I’m an odd-job filly-slash-adventurer. On my way back from a really tedious and exhausting job.”

She looked at me, then tilted her head. “You don’t look all that tired, if you don’t mind me saying.”

“I was exhausted from the trip up until today, truth be told.” I shrugged. “But I guess knowing that I’ll be home soon gave me a bit of a second wind.” For emphasis, I jumped into the air, looping once before landing.

“I’m glad to hear. So, Miss Fate, would you like to come to our farm? We don’t have much to offer in terms of gold, but I’m sure there’s a pie we could give you.”

I waved my hoof. “No, no, it’s fine, you don’t need to pay me or anything. Really, I wasn’t looking for a reward or nothin’.” Heh, I’d accidentally used incorrect Equish. I was getting used to this life. How long had it been? Come to think of it, how had I left The Tower? I—

“Oh please, I insist. I’d feel horrible if I didn’t at least get to give you a proper token of my gratitude. Besides, this year’s been treating us farmers well, so we really won’t miss a single pie. Especially not compared to losing a family member.”

“Fine, fine, I’ll accept your rewards,” I said in mock offence. “But only this one time. I wouldn’t want ponies to believe I only help when it benefits me.” I chuckled.

We continued on while chit-chatting, until we eventually arrived at their farm on the outskirts of town. Selena disappeared inside, then came out with the promised pie. Cherry, by the look of it. “Well, here you go,” she said before presenting it. “Do come by occasionally, because it was a pleasure to finally meet you.”

I lifted an eyebrow. “What do you mean by finally? I thought you didn’t know me.”

Selena smiled sheepishly. “Well, you see, when you said your name, I kinda recognised it. You and your husband have made a bit of a name for yourselves in town.” She averted her eyes, shame seeping into her tone. “But there were rumours about you. Like why you never went out to drink, or why you acted cold towards others. Things like that.” She forced a happier smile that quickly reached her eyes. “I am merely relieved you are a good pony after all.”

Now it was my turn to smile sheepishly. “I’m just not the most social of ponies, you see. I like talking one-on-one with ponies, but bigger crowds drain my energy faster than I can say my name.”

“I understand. Makes me feel rather silly for my preconceived ideas of you, Miss Fell.” Her expression turned sour. “I am sorry. I really am.”

“Think nothing of it.” I brushed her off with a wave of my hoof. “All’s well that ends well, right?”

A few hours later, I woke up from a silly, foalish dream. Good thing I remembered next to nothing of it, because I would have probably died of embarrassment.

I pushed open the door to Aurora’s office. When she lifted her gaze towards me, her eyes popped wide and her entire body tensed. “Good evening, Aunt Aurora,” I said, “I have come to apologise.”

Though suspicion did not leave her eyes, her entire body relaxed. She nodded towards the door, then to the chair before her desk.

Once I sat down, she watched, waiting. In front of her stood a glass of alcohol. As usual. Focus, Arawn. I swallowed the lump in my throat, barely holding her gaze. “I should not have screamed at you or threatened you, and for that I am sorry.”

As her eyes gradually lost their edge, the rest of her face softened as well. “Thank you. It means a lot to me.” Within moments, the Aurora I knew had returned. She took a deep breath. “And I want to apologise for treating you like a foal.”

“Thank you.” Yet her words did nothing to untie the knot in the pit of my stomach. “But I cannot forgive you for how you have treated Silver.”

She winced, but nodded. “I understand.” She attempted a weak smile, though it far too soon turned sour. “For what it’s worth, I genuinely feel bad for it, and would take everything back if I could.”

My lips twisted into a bitter grimace. “I am not the one who needs to hear these words.”

“I know…” With a sigh, she folded her ears. “I did try, but both times he would hear none of it.”

I gulped. “Then, until he forgives you, neither shall I.”

She gave a single, solemn nod. “I understand.”

I held her gaze for a while. It showed genuine remorse and acceptance. Damn it, why need she make this so difficult? I averted my gaze, contemplating a way to bring up my ulterior motive. I had long meant to apologise to her, but had ultimately only ended up here because of—

“I know this might not be the best moment to ask this, but… is he your coltfriend?”

My head snapped at her. “What?”

“Silver. Are you and him, you know…?” She gestured vaguely in the air.

I blinked, then gave a—perhaps a little too vigorous—shake of my head.

“That’s good.” She gulped, but then let go of a long breath. I relaxed as well. It was just a guess on her part. Nothing indicated that she knew. “But… you’d like him to be, wouldn’t you?”

Her words hit me like a whip; my body went stiff. “What? Of course not, he is merely a serf. He and I could never be!” I tried to give her my best dismissive laugh, but her slowly growing grin informed me that I had failed. What in Tartarus was I doing? I was supposed to talk her into helping me, and here I was, allowing her to read me like an open book! Regarding irrelevant topics, no less!

“I can tell, you know? I’ve known you since you were a foal. I could tell you were up to things for many months now. Your behaviour during dinner, the mere fact you bothered to show up to dinner at all, how often you smiled, how you daydreamed when you thought nopony was looking. Everything. Even your father noticed you were a lot happier, but he believes it was just a physical change due to your treatment.”

I gaped at her. She’d known all that? “Then why…?”

“Why I haven’t said anything?” She shrugged. “At first, I wanted to. I wanted to warn you of The Tower’s dangers, tell you where to stay to be safe. But I kept putting it off; didn’t really know why.” She played around with her glass before looking up at me. “At least until I realised that I wanted to leave you that little bit of freedom. Having an adult hover over you would have ruined it, wouldn’t it?”

Why was I still letting her talk? I had not come here for this! And yet… “Thanks, Aurora.”

“You’re welcome.” She held my gaze, her eyes full of love and warmth.

She had my back. She really did. I sighed. “There is… one more thing…”

She raised a half-worried, half-curious eyebrow. “Yes?”

“I… I need you to speak with Father. Convince him to tackle The Tower’s issues.”

Aurora winced, averting her eyes. “I’ve tried that, Arawn,” she muttered. “He doesn’t like hearing about things not going to plan. The state it puts him in… frankly, it’s a bit scary.” She forced a strained smile. “As silly as it is, it reminds me of the old rumours.”

I blinked. “What rumours?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She shook her head. “Your father can be scary, but I know he’s not a bad pony.”

“I know.” I smirked. “Better than most, I would wager.”

Aurora chuckled. “I suppose.” After a moment all too short, her mirth faded. “Still, I’m not sure I can get through to him.”

“Yet you are the pony with the best odds of success. We need to change his mind, and he refuses to take me seriously.” I offered her my best understanding smile. “I know he is feared. I have heard what others say of him. However, you cannot let your fear stop you, Aurora. Please.”

“But—”

I cut her off with one look. “I know you are scared of him. I get it. Fear paralyses you. It stops you from doing what is right.” I took a deep breath, hoping my tone would adequately carry my sympathy. “But I also know that sometimes, you have to push past it, or you lose somepony you care about.” Stars, did I have to play into such an overused trope? Moving on. “Convincing Father is the only way to avoid needing to betray him. At the end of the day, no matter how scary or flawed he is, he is still our family. I do not think you want to hurt him any more than I do.”

Aurora grimaced, biting her lip. “You’ve grown so much.” She looked away and stayed quiet for a few moments. “You’re right,” she muttered. “I don’t want to hurt him, but you make it sound like those are our only options. There are ways to fix things that don’t require such a sacrifice.”

“If only. Things are worse than they seem. You see…”

The following evening, I sat at the end of the dinner table, across from my father. To his right sat Aurora. I had planned to stay in my room today, but Aurora had agreed to bring up the topic tonight, and I owed her what little moral support I could provide. Though I also knew far too well I would be incapable of focusing on anything whatsoever if I did not see it for myself. In fact, I had arrived at the dining room first, ten minutes before anypony else.

Closer to my end of the table were two nobles whose names I had never remembered, or asked for, as well as Halterdawn and Red—our other guest, a stallion only a little older than Silver. Compared to what Silver had told me of the two, Halterdawn appeared a lot more pleasant, while Red somehow managed to surpass any expectations with his obnoxious chatter. While I had previously shared a dinner table with them, I had usually remained closer to my father’s side. Neither of the two lesser nobles dared come close.

At some point, Red had chatted me up, and I had made the blunder of giving him polite but non-committal responses. He, of course, had mistaken them for interest in what he had to say.

He had talked for at least five minutes about dethroning nobility, mounting militias to secure farm villages, et cetera, before Halterdawn took pity on him and informed him that I was, in fact, the heir of House Fell. Red had been rather lucky that Father had not joined us yet. Father had arrived last, a minute or two after Aurora.

Since then, I had occasionally taken impatient glances at Aurora, waiting for her to bring up the topic. So far, she was still looking for an opening.

For a few minutes, I poked at the mushrooms on my plate, if only as a distraction. I had eaten already, and this minuscule portion looked nowhere near appetising as of now.

I continued to steal glances at Aurora for the next dozen minutes, until, finally, she whispered, “We need to talk, sir.” Not a single guest heard her. Neither would I, if not for my perception-enhancing spell.

Barely interested, Father looked up from his plate, raising an eyebrow. “What about?”

Aurora gulped. “Many things.” She avoided his eyes for a few moments. Only his annoyed sigh made her continue, “Things like the state of The Tower. Or the unrest among citizens.”

Father shot a glance my way. Just in time, I managed to find my food ever so fascinating. He leaned forward and hissed, “Can this not wait until after dinner?”

Aurora stared at him for a few long seconds before slowly shaking her head. “Sir, I’m afraid it’s urgent. Things have reached a critical point.” Strictly speaking, it could have waited, but that might have led to him yet again dodging the problem.

“Like what?” he spat. “Do the Bloodstones still want more pocket resources? Are they again threatening to lower their production?”

For the shortest of moments, Aurora met his eyes before looking ahead again. “Not only that. House Midnight, among others, needs more outside food to nourish their cattle. Not just them, either. Most families are going hungry. Farrier lacks equipment.”

Father shot another glance my way, but I had too little time to avert my gaze. Horror shot across his face, and he hissed to Aurora, “Enough. I will not risk my daughter’s health any further. Let us go for a walk.” My health? Was he worried hearing about this might make me keel over?

Aurora gulped. Nodded. As the two went past me, Father tried to give me a reassuring smile, while Aurora avoided my gaze. When they passed the doorway, they turned left.

I waited for several minutes, forcing down a few more mouthfuls of mushrooms. Hopefully, I hid my plan to follow them well. After I stood up and left the room, I turned right, before making myself invisible and going down the corridor the two had taken.

I came to a trot, then a canter as I followed the sound of their hoofsteps. Eventually, Aurora spoke up. She was far and kept her voice low. Even with my magic, I hardly heard everything she said, and understood less. She was merely listing off families and their individual troubles, though.

After another minute of chasing them as fast as I dared, they finally came into view. For a while, Aurora continued to list off issues, until Father interrupted her.

“Enough. What is this really about? All these issues are unfortunate, but I cannot fix them, as it would require lifting the lockdown. I cannot do that. Not yet.”

Aurora looked down, took a deep breath, and met his glare. “There’s a rebellion being planned. I’ve been trying to slow it down, but to stomp it out would require spilling blood. Ours, theirs, and innocent alike.”

His eyes grew wide, and his mouth fell ajar. “Rebels? Did you not say they would be dealt with?” He gulped.

Aurora could no longer hold his gaze. “I thought it would be easier, but the roots ran much deeper than I originally thought,” she muttered. “It became clear that it was more than just one family I could threaten into submission. An all-out confrontation was inevitable. Back then, it was only a hoofful of families that would have put up a fight—a fight which we didn’t need.” She once again tried looked him in the eye, grimacing. “So I avoided it. Tried to find a peaceful solution still.”

Father stopped. “And for what reason did you not tell me any of that sooner?”

Aurora continued for a few more steps before coming to a stop as well. She didn’t turn around, staring at the ground instead. “Because you told me, screamed at me, not to bring it up again until it was dealt with.”

“I…” He furrowed his brow. “You should have told me when the situation got worse, Aurora!” He put a hoof to his temple.

“Well, I didn’t!” Aurora put her hoof down. Her ears wilted as her voice lost its edge. “It was a mistake, and I admit to it, but we can speak of my punishment after this has been dealt with. I’ll gladly step down when we have the luxury to afford giving my role to someone new to it.”

Father took a deep breath that only partly calmed him down. “Tell me, how bad is it really? I presume the families you’ve listed are all part of the rebels?”

She shook her head. “Almost every house in The Tower has some major problem due to the lockdown and the frequent pocket appearances. However, many still believe in House Fell, and some are on the fence. I’d say about two fifths of the families are aligned with the rebels.”

Father sighed. “That is not good, but better than you made it sound.”

Aurora nodded. “They are getting increasingly brazen, however. They’ve recently managed to steal weapons from the Knights’ storeroom.”

Father tensed up and took a few deep breaths. “I can see the situation is serious.” He slowly enunciated each word, like it pained him. He gritted his teeth. “It would be unwise to punish you for it now, but depending on the consequences for The Tower, your head might roll later,” he said through his teeth, barely managing to stay calm. He rubbed his temple again.

Aurora gulped. “I’m… I’m aware, sir.” She opened her mouth and hesitated for a moment. “But that’s not all. The catalyst for me talking to you is something far more worrying.”

“Aurora, I swear…” Father hissed.

“The Tower is losing stability much faster than you thought.”

Father went so pale, it was noticeable even through his dark fur. “No, that cannot be.” The terror in his eyes chilled me to the bone. I had never seen him as afraid outside of his talks with my physician. “You are wrong. It is nothing more than a temporary period of instability. It will get better. It is not the first time something like this has happened.”

Aurora shook her head. “No, it’s been going on for too long. We need to do something, or the rebels will be the least of our problems.”

“It will have to wait!” His shout echoed throughout the corridor, painful to my ears. “I will not let you take Arawn!”

“Sir! While we don’t need to involve Arawn, you shouldn’t discredit her, she’s a fine, very intelligent young mare. She could help us.” She met Father’s wrathful glare, but could only hold it for a few seconds before gulping and taking a step back.

He stayed silent, and pressed his eyes shut as his headache worsened by the second. “I said no. It will have to wait.”

“But we don’t have time! The Erebus has shown itself!”

Father’s mouth fell ajar as he stared first at Aurora, then at a point far behind her. “No… no… no…” he whispered to himself. “It cannot be.” He pressed his eyes shut, rubbing his temple with a trembling hoof.

He screamed. The sound tore into my very soul and split my ears. I closed my eyes for just a moment. Then, ten of him, each dark grey, were closing in on Aurora. She took to the air, bolting as quickly as her wings would carry her. From her own shadow, another copy jumped out at her. She barely dodged his sabre as she disappeared around the corner.

The shadows gave chase.

S8 — Midnight Frenzy

“Thanks, by the way,” said Shade as we walked down a dim corridor.

I turned my head to face her, eyebrow raised. “For what?”

“Hanging out with me while I run errands.” She came to a stop, rubbing a leg against the other while avoiding my gaze. Before I could ask if she was okay, she shook her head and shone me a bright smile. “And also for being my friend in general. I didn’t think I would bounce back anytime soon after losing Andesite. It still hurts, but it’s not the only thing on my mind anymore.”

“You don’t have to thank me for being your friend. You’re a really nice young mare, and I’m glad to be your friend.” I kept my comment about Andesite to myself. He was an idiot to not see how great Shade was, but Shade wouldn’t appreciate me saying it. “Oh, and no problem for the errand. It’s my last day off, so I figured I might as well spend it with somepony nice.”

“Oh, you.” She blushed, looking away. A moment later, she nodded for me to follow as she continued.

Oops. I hadn’t meant it like that. But it would be way too awkward to say that now. Not that she was unattractive, far from it. I just had other priorities.

Or did I? I would be here for a while longer. Only Stars knew how long. She was kind, cute, and close to my age. Then again, so was Arawn. And Arawn had already told me her feelings. She would be hurt if I showed that kind of interest in Shade. Besides, even if I did try anything at all with Shade, I probably wouldn’t be able to get Arawn out of my head.

But Arawn was not an option. It would be suicidal to court her. Whoever told me I deserved some happiness clearly didn’t understand how complicated my emotional life was! Who’d even said that?

Gah, stupid, irrelevant thoughts. I didn’t ask for them. Didn’t need them. I just wanted friends.

Actually… Shade wasn’t very used to affection in the first place, even of the platonic variety, so she might have interpreted it exactly like I meant it; I might just have read the signs wrong.

Whatever! “Where are we going, anyway?” I asked in a desperate attempt to quiet my overabundance of thoughts. I’d learned that word recently, and I loved it. Couldn’t wait to use it in actual conversation instead of mentally. Words like these stopped my mind running around where it shouldn’t.

“The Bloodwing prison,” she answered without turning around. “Have to pick up a list of materials they would like to trade for.”

I furrowed my brow despite myself. “This might just be me being stupid, but… wouldn't it be easier if you went to their mansion?”

She groaned, ears folding. “I wish. Bloodwing is notorious for having few servants; they don’t even have messengers, so news from their prison rarely ever makes it up to the bureaucratic district before the evening. Instead, they prefer to borrow other Houses’ servants.” By the time she was done, her expression had relaxed again.

“That’s… weird and oddly complex.”

The tunnel forked ahead of us, and Shade shrugged before gesturing to the right passage. “They pride themselves in their pragmatism and whatnot. Claim they don’t need servants to get the job done.” She rolled her eyes. “Until someone else needs to rely on Bloodwing. Kind of annoying, if you ask the pony who’s been doing back-and-forth trips daily for almost a week now.”

“Yeah, rich ponies are weird.” I chuckled, then kicked a rock. “What do they even need to trade for?”

“The Bloodwings are a smithing family, so they mainly need ingots, as well as some rare gems that only appear in pockets.”

“What would they need rare gems for?” Another question came to mind, but I kept it in the back of my head.

“They make enchanted weaponry. Well, they don’t enchant anything themselves, but instead make weapons that are good enough to be worth enchanting, and have the necessary gems embedded. It’s a whole—” she stopped and waved her hoof overhead “—process.”

I let out a nearly instinctual “Oooh” at the mention of enchanted weapons. “You think I could get one somehow?”

She snorted, then shook her head. “No way. As far as I know, they’re mostly for export, and what remains is for the Knights’ use only.”

“Bloody Hades…” I grumbled, making an exaggerated sour face, which prompted a giggle from Shade. I chuckled as well and sighed. “I think I had another question, but I managed to completely forget about it.”

Shade looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

What was it…? I mentally retraced the topics of our conversation, and it took me embarrassingly long to remember. “Oh, right! They’ve always been a smithing family, correct?”

“Yes, as far as I know. Why?”

“Then why do they suddenly need you to run errands for them? Shouldn’t they already have something in place?” This was a stupid question, wasn’t it?

Yet Shade didn’t take it as such, and merely nodded. “They used to. They had a direct deal with the Duskbringers, but due to tensions, that recently fell through. The new deals are a lot less profitable for Bloodwing, but they have to take them, else they can’t fulfil their duty to The Tower.”

I tilted my head. “Their duty to The Tower?”

“Yes. Each family needs to produce certain resources. They each produce something different. But most of them have…” She looked away, grimacing. “Cattle.”

I could understand her disgust, but, having grown up as a hunter, didn’t quite share it. “Yeah, I’ve seen some cows around. Wondered how they feed them.”

She frowned, but kept quiet as she continued on. Touchy topic, huh?

I was flying back and forth between the stalactites hanging high over the serf village. My wings were getting sore.

I finished another lap and took a while to rest. Ever since my arrival in The Tower, my training had been going well. Much better than usual, in fact. At first, I had chalked it up to motivation without giving it a second thought, but ever since my injury, I had made such huge strides that it became hard to ignore the underlying issue. If it could even be considered an issue.

Today, for instance, I had been meaning to train my sprints—fly a short distance as fast as possible, take a breather, repeat. Yet no matter how fast I flapped my wings, my heart was able to effortlessly keep up. I ended up skipping most breaks, since I was not even getting winded.

I squinted, trying to remember what that anatomy book had said. Did this mean my lungs and heart were able to pump more hydrogen—or was it oxygen?—than my wings could consume? In my head, it all made sense, but I was surely missing something. Why was anatomy so bloody complicated? I used to think it couldn’t be that hard to understand one’s body, but now… what in the Sun’s name?

It had to be from the near-death experience, but how? Normally, that kind of stuff weakens a pony, doesn’t it? Yet here I hovered, stronger than ever. Then again, maybe it was from Arawn’s Book.

Or maybe not; she was winded at even the thought of running, and she had spent a lot of time near that thing.

Really, I only suspected the book because my magic, too, had made a leap. It was even harder to quantify, and I knew even less about it, but there was just… more of it. My wings still burned if I funnelled too much magic through them, but I had yet to grow tired from using it. Since sprinting required dispro… disprapo…

Since sprinting required a lot more magic than regular flight, it had a particularly strong tendency to wear a pegasus out. Well, this pegasus at least, since I didn’t have many others to compare to. Batpony flight was different, and I knew even less about that. Not that I was on great terms with many sarosians, either.

I shook my head; I’d rested long enough. I started another lap, this time with the intent to push some limits. I began channelling ever higher amounts of magic into my wings, quickly reaching terrible efficiency.

I appreciated the reprieve for my poor muscles, but what really quenched my worries was the sound of my own heart beating in my ears. I hadn’t realised it, but I had feared something might be wrong with me, as silly as it may sound.

I’d never channelled this much magic for an extended period of time; my head spun from the exertion. Still, this felt good. Like I had shoved a thick window between reality and myself. Everything grew distant. The occasional shouts from the village. My guts shifting inside of me with every lap. The bright gems embedded in the walls and ceiling. The wind brushing through my sweaty coat. My heartbeat thundering in my ears. The smell of dust in the air. The metallic clangs from the workers. The coppery taste in my mouth. The stalactites rushing past me with a deafening whoosh. The fire in my lungs.

It all was so far, yet so sharp, so clear; like my senses finally had the time to truly process the world. Like the distance made it easier to see the full picture.

I blinked, before letting myself come to a stop. How many laps had that been? Twenty? Thirty? Fifty? The excess magic must have been flowing in my brain. Or something. Beads of sweat rolled down my hide as I panted. I let my vision grow blurry as I hovered there, allowing my whole body to rest.

Shouts from below snapped me out of it. Panicked shouts. I let myself drop, following the source of the screams.

“…everything off! Nopony goes down! Nopony leaves the upper layers! Get the Knights!” a guard cried.

I bolted. Whatever emergency this was, I would be needed. The timing was bad, but I had to press on.

Within a minute, I came to an abrupt stop in front of the barracks, kicking up dust. I ran through the tight corridor that led to the Captain’s office, and banged on her door.

No reply. I shoved it open. Empty. Why did she have to pick now of all times to be out of office? Where could she be? Out on patrol? On the toilet? Sick? No, I’d seen her this morning. Think, Silver, think!

Oh. She was in the estate. The one place I couldn’t access. She always had dinner there in the evening. Damn it! I had to get somepony to tell her! But who? My best bet was the guards in front of the estate. I rushed out, almost forgetting to close the door behind me. Why did she even leave her door unlocked? Whatever!

I landed in front of Aurora’s manor, trotting towards the door. Damn it! There’d been nopony before the estate, and I’d needed a minute or two to find a guard and tell her to send somepony to fetch Aurora. I’d bumped into a few Knights who were also looking for her.

I pushed the main door open, relieved the maid hadn’t locked it. I was here to fetch my equipment while I waited for Aurora to show up. As much as it pained me to follow her orders, they were likely my only way to help stop whatever monster was rampaging in The Tower.

Bloody Hades. I should be out there, doing something. Had my encounter with the chimæra made me a coward? It definitely had. Or maybe it had just made me more inclined to take care of myself?

I should really be hunting the beast myself. The guards were horrified, and even the Knights seemed unsure. It had been killing innocents while I wasted time looking for Aurora. No. I wouldn’t let it. Just needed to get armed and armoured first.

So what was I waiting for? Shouldn’t I be bolting to my room in the servants’ quarters? Yet I found no energy to rush. The sheer fear in those guards’ eyes must have struck something. Damn it! Stop being a coward. Or was it just a strategic choice?

Reaching my room broke me out of my stupid cycle of thoughts, and I finally found the mental strength to jump into my meagre barding, picking up my crossbow and shortsword. How many ponies had died because I hadn’t acted faster? Would I be able to live with myself once I saw the body of some colt, lying in his own blood, all because I’d been too lazy to act?

Whatever. Not the time. I tied two weapon belts around my barrel and attached my crossbow and shortsword to them.

I wasn’t supposed to keep any of this outside of the armoury, but the guards were a pain to deal with whenever I went to retrieve anything from there. Even with my collar, they were always reluctant if they’d never seen me before. What about my role as Aurora’s right hoof was so hard to get?

Yet here I was, often treated like a serf. If Aurora hadn’t reassured me I wasn’t one, I’d be beginning to feel like I was.

I furrowed my brow. Had she really said that, or was I misremembering?

Whatever! Not the time for any of this! As I cantered past the living room, movement caught my eye. The maid? I took a few steps back.

On the couch, wearing a torn evening dress, lay Aurora, hugging a half-empty bottle of wine to her barrel. She took one look at me, then at her bottle, before lifting it to her mouth and finishing it.

I stared at her, blinked at her. It was only when she tossed the bottle behind herself, and it landed with a thud on the carpet, that I unfroze. “Captain! There’s an emergency!” How could she be drunk in a moment like this?

The blank, disgusted look she gave me chilled my spine. “I know.”

I gaped for a few moments before my mind caught on. “But how can you know? Nopony could find you.”

She snapped her head at me and screamed, “Because I caused it!” As quickly as it had appeared, her anger vanished, and she grimaced. She leaned down, wrapped her wing’s hook around the neck of a full bottle lying on the floor, and pulled it up.

“What do you mean you caused it?” I kept my tone careful. Neutral. “Shouldn’t you be fixing it if you screwed up?” The alcohol probably hadn’t even properly reached her bloodstream. If she vomited right now, she could still—

“Because!” she slurred. She rolled off the couch, nearly falling over. She pressed her eyes shut, head drooping. It all took a few seconds at most, but it might as well have been an eternity. “Because…”

Aurora snapped up at me. “Because I can’t!” For a fraction of a second, the world was silent, and I stared at her wide, teary and bloodshot eyes. “I fucked up! Too big to just fix!”

A chill ran down my spine as my blood boiled. “So you ain’t even gonna try‽” I stomped both front hooves, only for the blow to be cushioned by the infuriating carpet. “You’re gonna let things get worse and worse, because of what‽” Spittle flew, but I cared little. “Ego? Rank? Stability? Some other bullshit excuse?”

She stood up and walked over to me, barely swaying. The cold fury burning in her eyes calmed my outburst, and I gulped. When she spoke, the reek of wine dug up unpleasant memories. “Because if I do anything,” she hissed, “even more ponies will die.”

Despite my best efforts, I shrank back. She lifted her hoof, but the blow never came. She fell to her haunches, staring at the ground. “I thought they were just rumours,” she muttered.

“That what was just a rumour?” I snapped. “If you won’t fix your own fuck-ups, somepony who actually cares will have to.”

She lunged at me. With a swing of her hoof, she knocked me to the ground. “This isn’t something you can fix, you stupid colt! It’s not something anypony can fix!”

I put my hoof to my cheek. A trickle of blood ran down it. The blow itself hurt a little; I’d been unprepared, and she’d struck my bone. Yet it paled in comparison to her raising her hoof against me.

I sat there for a few moments, rubbing my cheek in sore, aching bafflement. Yes, I didn’t have the best memories involving her, but those were my fault, not hers. That she would strike me like this…

I turned away before tears threatened to run down my face. Before I could leave the room, she begged, “Wait…”

I whipped my head around to glare at her, silently hoping to deny her the satisfaction of seeing me hurt.

She gulped; grimaced. “Don’t go out there, please. I’m sorry for hitting you, I was just so mad and—” She shook her head. “Just… please. You don’t deserve to die.”

“Then you better tell me what’s waiting for me.” Was I using my own life as a bargaining chip? Fucking absurd.

She braced herself, taking a deep breath. “It’s… it’s the viscount. I tried seeking out his help and he… he… I think he lost control. He tried to kill me. But even when I got away, I heard screams from around everywhere.”

Confusion, anger, and fear wrestled for control within me. “And why didn’t you do anything? Ponies are dying!” I gritted my teeth. “Because you’re scared? You have your Knights, you have me, and I’ve even heard you’re a good fighter yourself! So why are you so scared?”

“Because he’s just that terrifying!” she shrieked. “I get rid of two, three, maybe four of his copies, but my Knights could barely take one on each. You, too, would die to him.” She was crying, hiccuping. “And besides! Killing him would only fracture his psyche further and it would only make it worse!”

I could only stare at her, eyes wide, while hers were begging me to understand. Begging me to stay. Begging me to live. Begging me to pity her.

“And even then!” she shouted between a series of sobs. “Even then I would lose so many damn ponies to him. We’re already at our limits, Silver, we can’t afford to lose more Knights! Maybe if I had another pony like me, then we could maybe take him on with no casualties, but as it stands, it’s a sacrifice I have to make!”

I scowled and turned my back to her. “Coward.”

I was flying down a corridor in the lower Tower. I didn’t know where I was, but I didn’t care. Every few minutes, I stumbled upon another corpse. Another pony guilty of being at the wrong place, at the wrong time. By now, my heart had grown numb to them.

No, not numb. It was burning with hatred. Cold, vengeful fury. At the viscount, for being a murderous monster. At Aurora, for causing this and for not having the guts to stop it. And at myself, for being a worthless coward, using orders as an excuse to save myself.

When I’d left Aurora’s mansion, I had been scared of finding the viscount. Terrified, in fact. He was so much larger and stronger than me. I was probably faster, but that would only get me so far. A single strike of his would be the end of me. Even if I blocked it, it would just send me into a wall. And that before I accounted for the difference in technique.

But each dead pony I found, each mangled corpse fuelled the glacial inferno in my heart. Weaker or not, I was eager to find him. Eager to find a way to beat him. Eager to drive a sword through his rotten heart, as many times as needed. Eager to watch him beg for his life. Eager to die and get what I deserved.

Another corpse in the distance. The prisons he had hit were worse, supposedly. Guards spoke of corpses littering the streets of Duskbringer prison. Of a headless filly clutching her plush bear. Sweet stars, even foals hadn’t escaped him.

I wiped the tears off my muzzle. They brought me a strange comfort. At least I could still feel. I hadn’t realised it, but I’d been scared I’d lost all emotion other than hatred. That one stray thought had quenched the fire in my soul, but now, despair threatened to overtake me.

I landed and started slowly walking. I had been too late; I had to accept it. The blood trail was dry. The viscount was long done with his vicious killing spree. He was probably back in the estate, having a cosy, hot bath. Or perhaps he was in the dining hall, having tea and snarling at anypony who looked at Arawn wrong.

A monster like him was beyond comprehension. How could he do such a thing? How could anypony do such a thing? The answer was simple. He was no pony, and I’d made a mistake in ever seeing him as one.

Aurora claimed to not have known, but it could all be an act. What kind of pony would openly admit to knowing her cousin is a monster? For that matter, how much did Arawn know? The thought stabbed into my heart like a dagger, but I couldn’t allow myself to push it away. She’d lied to me before, why would that need to be the only time? She—

My eyes flickered to the corpse, now much closer. My heart stopped. Pale lilac hooves clutched a deep stomach wound, fur soaked crimson. Shade was sitting against the wall in a wide pool of blood, head hunched forward, obscured by a long, dark purple mane.

No, this couldn’t be true! I pulled out a vial of potion and dashed forward with a flap of my wings. If I stopped the blood loss, she would live! I’d come back from worse, and so would she!

When I landed in the pool of blood, I slipped and fell on my side, and some of my joints impacted on the stone. I winced, but ignored the pain. I lay her out on the stone floor. She was so cold. I pushed aside her indigo mane, poured some of the potion into her mouth. She was so damn cold. The rest went into the deep wound on her stomach.

She was a little cold, but she was still alive. I tapped her cheek a few times. “Nightshade, come on, wake up. You’re okay now.” I smiled at her, waiting for her eyes to open. Tears blurred my vision. “You’re an earth pony. I know you guys don’t die so easy, so you can stop pretending. This ain’t like you.” I gulped down a sob. “Just open your bloody eyes, damn it!”

My scream echoed throughout the corridor. It was desperate, pleading, and so very aware of reality. Shade was dead. I’d known it the moment I had spotted her.

Yet I sat there for Moon knew how long, staring at her with a hopeful, desperate smile, all while her blood soaked into my fur and clothes. It was as if leaving her was accepting her death. If I fled, any chance of seeing her again would vanish. If I stopped hoping, she would truly be dead.

But she was, wasn’t she?

What did she do to deserve this? She was the kindest, purest soul I had ever met, and she had been cut down like an animal. She hadn’t even hated her best friend for stabbing her in the back, and yet here she lay, executed like a criminal.

But then, had the other ponies who’d died to his frenzy deserved it? Maybe some of them, but certainly not the serfs. Neither had the children.

Yet when I looked at her face, frozen in pain and terror, everything else disappeared. Nopony else mattered. Nopony else had suffered like she had.

A loud bang finally snapped me out of it long enough to realise I had something to do. There was only one thing left for me.

A9 — Full Moon

I slammed open another door. I had not intended to, but with each room I found empty I only grew more impatient. Why did Aurora need all these rooms? Aside from her, only two ponies lived here! Whatever. I closed the door.

I started when hoofsteps came from a room down the hall. The old maid’s door opened.

Though my spell muffled my every sound, I still held my breath as she poked her head out of the door. What was her name again, Amethyst? Ruby? She picked up a candle holder and carefully stepped out of her room. “Silverstring? Was that you?”

No reply. Please, please, please go back to bed.

I stood still as a statue as she walked past me, headed for a door on the other side of the corridor. Wait, she could lead me to Silver’s room! Light on my hooves, I followed.

She knocked on the door and waited a few moments. When she opened it, she revealed a room that could only be Silver’s. I held my breath and looked around the corner, at the bed.

Empty.

Amethyst closed the door, muttering something. When she rounded the corner, I fell on my rump.

Empty.

I continued to stare at the door, vision blurring as the world swam around me. Silver’s room was empty.

I blinked.

Where could he be? I had checked all of his usual spots! He couldn’t have gone off to fight Father, could he? No, no, no, push the bad thoughts out of my mind. Silver was no fool, certainly not enough to challenge Father… Was he?

Both were missing. Perhaps Father had returned to the estate whilst I was searching for Silver. But Silver? Could he still be out, helping the victims? That had to be it. Now, I merely needed—

“Oh, not again!” cried Amethyst from the living room, snapping my thread of thoughts.

I took a look at the dark, empty hallway, before creeping towards the living room. Amethyst came out of it, catching me off guard. I took a step back, and held my breath as her ears perked. One heartbeat. She furrowed her brow. Another heartbeat. She relaxed, shaking her head, then continued towards the crystal lamp.

Only when she reached to turn it on did I remember to breathe. The next moment, my world exploded as the bright light overwhelmed my night vision. I squeezed my eyes shut and let go of the fibre of magic I had woven into them, before sneaking away while Amethyst searched a nearby closet.

I had ignored the living room upon my arrival, but I had perhaps been wrong to do so. Silver never spent much time there; why check it? Could it be that he—

Aurora lay on the carpet, unconscious next to a pool of her own vomit. Amethyst must have turned her on her side.

Shit. Luna damn it all! I needed her more than ever, and she had drunk herself asleep! I shook my head. No time to waste, I had to find Silver.

Nothing. Only the occasional corpse. My heart would sink at the sight of each of them, but when I confirmed it was nopony I cared about, relief would wash over me, only to be replaced with guilt.

At least, that had been my reaction to the first two or three dozen. Now, I merely grew more and more worried with each hour. Every hallway I trotted down was another opportunity to find him dead. Every intersection was another possible wrong choice. The prison layer would take me days to search, even superficially. I had so little time.

I had checked everywhere I knew of, from the small nooks, to big, pony-made structures. Even the Duskbringer prison, in desperate need of assistance, held no trace of Silver.

As a last resort, I had checked the abandoned prison where we had fought the chimaera. Nothing.

Thus, I was reduced to wandering the corridors, hoping to stumble upon a new place to search.

My entire body ached. I had been walking for hours without finding a single trace of him. Nothing. Not a feather, nor a dagger. Just. Nothing. I was powerless. Couldn’t even find the one pony who had changed my life.

My mind was tired as well; what if I had passed him and not noticed? Would I need to redo my entire search? Maybe he was asleep somewhere, and would find me in the morning? I dared not hope. I had to keep searching.

Another intersection. Who in Luna’s name had laid out all these tunnels? Had she tried to create a maze, or did that merely emerge from her sheer incompetence? I stomped both front legs with enough force to wince from the pain.

My eyes landed on a signpost, and the world stopped. I had been here already. I dropped to my rump. I had been here already. Tears ran down my cheeks. I had come full circle. I had already searched either direction.

I fell to my stomach, clutching the back of my head with both hooves. I lay like this, crying, for Mother knew how long. Why did everything have to go so wrong? Why did the universe hate me? What had we all done to deserve this?

These thoughts all rang out in a horrible cacophony of my mind, quieting down with every tear shed, until there was nothing but my sniffles, echoing through the empty tunnel.

Only when a shiver broke my pathetic lament did I realise how badly I needed to rest. I was in no condition to keep looking; physically, mentally, or emotionally. If Silver was still out there, he would probably hold out long enough to survive.

If not, it was too late already. I needed to come back with a clear mind and plan.

Yet my worries refused to ebb and continued to torture me over the hour it took me to return to my room. It was morning already.

I rubbed my eyes as I stepped into Aurora’s mansion. I had barely slept, if at all, and was paying the price for it. Several cups of tea later, here I was. Somewhat awake, but so very exhausted.

I checked the living room; the maid had cleaned it, and moved Aurora to her room. I continued towards Silver’s room, each step only worrying me further. I had not returned here yesterday—well, earlier today. A clear mistake, in hindsight. Knowing my luck, he was back in his bed, snoozing peacefully. Yet the knot in my stomach refused to yield unless I saw it for myself.

I gave the door a gentle knock. My heart sank further with each second, until I finally gathered the courage to push it open. The room was empty. A chill ran down my spine.

Stars above, something had happened to him!

Tears were beginning to well up. Damn it, I’d wasted so many hours trying to sleep. I should have kept looking! Stupid filly.

No time for that. Silver was missing, and only one pony could help me.

I turned around, rushed up the stairs, and dashed to Aurora’s room, in the middle of the first floor. I knocked, entered, and found her sleeping on her bed, the carpet next to it soaked with vomit.

I refused to let disgust stop me, and I cantered forward, careful to avoid the puddle. Then, I dropped my spell, clearing my throat. She did not react.

“Aurora,” I said.

She stirred.

“Aurora!” I shouted.

She groaned.

When she rolled onto her other side, I poked her ribs. “Get up, Aurora, it’s an emergency.”

“Go away, my head hurts. Go talk to Witherbloom.” Her second-in-command. He did not know me.

“Auntie…” I started, unsure if I wanted my tone to be threatening or pleading.

She turned on her back, looking at me. “Oh, it’s you. Whadayaneed?”

Her breath still stank enough to make me flinch, despite the distance between us. I shielded my nose with a leg. “Silver is missing. I need your help to find him.”

She blinked at me a few times. “Why do you need him?” she slurred, but before she reached the end of the sentence, her eyes went wide. “Sweet Sun.” She jumped out of bed. Her balance impressed me, considering her state, but begged a question: Would she even be able to help me?

She pressed her eyes shut, shook her head, and swayed. “Give me a moment. Can you wait for me downstairs?”

I nodded, and did as told. Thankfully, it only took her a few minutes to come down. She had haphazardly brushed her coat, and the perfume she wore overpowered any other smells. In other circumstances, I might have dared a joke.

Aurora waved for me to follow her, and the two of us left through her front door.

“So, any idea where Silver could be?” I asked.

She shook her head. “I… He tried to talk to me yesterday. Tried to get me to do something about… about…”

“About Father?”

She gulped and nodded. “I tried to explain to him how dangerous it would be to try and stand up to the viscount. But Silver didn’t care…”

My entire body froze; a rock landed in my stomach. Through sheer willpower, I opened my mouth. “Then… if he’s not back…”

She nodded again, unable to hold my gaze. “Things are grim indeed.”

I fell to my haunches. “Sweet Celestia, what do I do?”

Aurora barely flinched at my choice of words. She gulped. “Maybe… maybe he just didn’t make it home for some other reason. We shouldn’t lose hope.”

Why did she care? She had not even lifted a hoof to help him. He was gone because of her!

No. Thinking like that would solve nothing. If, and only if, we found concrete evidence of his death, then I could blame her. Until then, I needed to believe.

“It’s all my fault.” Aurora sighed, coming to a stop. “Silver was right. I should have known when he started clutching his head. I should have done something! Should have guessed.”

I blinked. “Who, Silver?”

“No, your father. I think… I think he lost control.” She grimaced, gritted her teeth, then sighed. “He’s not a nice pony by any stretch, but he isn’t the type to mindlessly rampage. He may not show it, but he does value life. Even if he didn’t… he would be aware his actions have consequences for The Tower.”

“Lost control? How is that possible?” The stupid question escaped me before I could even think it through. I knew what she meant.

“I don’t know!” She stomped with both hooves. As her voice echoed in the tunnel, she covered her mouth. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t know. The Archknight rituals are heavy on the soul. It’s the reason why all the other Archknights have been sealed.” She grimaced. “I just always believed it was for their sake; to give them peace. Not to shield us from them.”

“I know that…” I grimaced. “I just… I do not know how it can already be so bad. I thought we had decades, perhaps even centuries.”

“I’m… I’m so sorry, Arawn.” Her voice quivered, tears pearling in her eyes.

I met her gaze with a rueful little smile. “It’s all right, Auntie. None of this is your fault, and I already knew I would have to seal him sooner or later.” I feigned surprisingly little of my solemn composure.

Aurora watched me for a few moments, lips twisted and brows knitted, before shaking her head and resuming our journey.

Somehow, in the face of sealing my own father away for all eternity, I remained collected. Did I even love him? Or had I grown tired of him after I began living for myself? Perhaps I truly had come to terms with the idea.

Or maybe the opposite was true: I yet failed to grasp the severity of the situation. Though I had seen many corpses littering the lower layers, and though I knew my father had been their killer, part of me refused to accept it.

Enough thinking. The answers would come in due time, and any further contemplation would bring naught but headaches. “By the way, where are we headed?”

“The emergency morgue,” Aurora replied without turning around. “There is a place between the prison and the serf layers designated for situations like these.” Her ears flattened against her skull, and she needed a few moments before continuing, “It’s never seen any use in my lifetime, but if the Knights have been following protocol, they will have gathered all corpses there for identification and cremation.”

Shade was dead.

Nothing could change that simple reality. She had been found in the upper prison layer. Had she been there on orders from her House, or at my behest?

I might have caused her death. Had I not asked her to investigate some of the rebel families, she might have avoided Father.

Shade was dead, killed by my own father.

Even if her owners were the reason for her presence in the prison layer, I remained the cause for my father’s break. Had I not requested Aurora talk to him, Shade would be alive. Had I stepped out of hiding as he attacked Aurora, Father would have calmed down.

Though I had intended none of this outcome, I yet held the responsibility.

Shade was dead because of me.

Everything blurred. Because of me. My ears rang. Because of me. My head spun. Because of me. The edges of my vision darkened. Every shaky breath I took felt shallower than the last as my mind repeated this thought again and again.

I pressed my eyes shut. I had to calm down. I had to find Silver. He was still out there, probably still alive. My entire body relaxed, only for my guts to tie into a knot. I had caused a friend’s death, yet I could only think about Silver.

Shade was dead, and I was relieved that somepony else might yet live.

Shade had listened to me, given me advice, and supported me, yet here I was: happy that she had died, and not Silver.

Disgusting. Vile. Selfish.

Aurora stepped out of the room, staring at her hooves. A knight had asked her for orders while we walked through the rows upon rows of corpses. I had finished my search, and only now did Aurora catch up to me.

I released my invisibility, stood up, and met her gaze. She tried to say something, but her hollow eyes told me everything.

I dared not ask. I knew the answer. She had found him. Yet I clung onto hope. “Have you… have you seen him?”

She shook her head. My heart sank, then my mind caught up, and my body sighed as it relaxed.

When Aurora shot me a glare, it struck me again. I was a horrible pony. Over a thousand ponies had died, yet I only thought about a colt I liked. Nopony as heartless as me deserved to rule.

Aurora’s eyes softened. “Let’s… let’s go back to my mansion and take a break. We need to reflect, and I need a drink.”

I blinked at her for a few long moments. Take a break? Silver was in danger, and she wanted to take a break? Ponies were dead, and alcohol still plagued her mind? My heart thundered in my chest and ears. My neck grew hot.

She wasn’t even looking at me. I burst. “A drink‽ You need a fucking drink‽”

She stumbled away from me and fell on her rump. “I… I just—”

“Just what? What in Twilight Sparkle’s name are you thinking? Ponies need you, and you just… you just want to get drunk again!” I hissed, furious and disgusted. “I thought I was being heartless and self-centred, but you just had to eclipse me, didn’t you‽”

“I… I…” Any moment, she would break down crying like the worthless hag she was. Any moment, she would fly away and find the nearest bottle. Any moment, she would disappoint me again.

But she did not. She swallowed a sob, took a deep breath, and, in a quiet, yet steady voice, said, “You’re right. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

I opened my mouth to scream at her again, but the look in her eyes deflated my fury. Sadness mixed with determination, level-headed, yet compassionate. At that moment, I saw the mare who had earned her place as the Captain of the Knights.

The captain gave me a weak smile. “I insist on taking the break, though.”

I gaped at her. “What? Why?” My tail flicked. “You left your bed an hour ago, and I do not need a break! Silver is somewhere out there, and—”

She shut me up with a look. “Wherever he is, a half hour won’t make a difference anymore. You look like you haven’t slept all night, and we need to formulate a real plan. We should both take time to clear our thoughts and breathe a little. In the long run, it will help much more than forcing yourself.”

My ears wilted, and I found myself staring at the ground. “I can’t relax if I know my only remaining friend is in trouble…”

Aurora lifted my muzzle with her hoof, offering a brittle smile. “I know, but you have to try.”

I swallowed, somehow on the brink of tears. “All right,” I muttered.

Aurora turned around and started walking back up. “I have a special blend for moments like these. It’ll help.”

It was raining outside. Selena lifted her cup off the marble table. “Hello, Arawn.”

I managed to meet her sad eyes with a solemn nod, then leaned down to smell my tea. Chamomile. How I despised chamomile. I took a sip nonetheless.

Selena set down her cup. “How are you?”

How was I? What a stupid question! One of my two friends was dead, and the other one was probably dead. How dare—

A single glance into her sorrowful eyes deflated any indignation. I sighed. “I don’t know… I just don’t know.” The last word caught in my throat. Hot tears streamed down my cheeks, and I slammed my hooves onto the marble table. “I don’t know what to do! I don’t know what to think! And I don’t know what to feel!”

For a while, Selena merely nodded, quiet as the night surrounding us. “Nightshade did not deserve this,” she finally said. “Neither did any of the other victims.”

“Then why the fuck did it happen‽” I grimaced, my anger melting as quickly as it had sprung up. “I do not understand. I knew life is unfair, but, but…” Ears wilting, I stared at the marble table.

“But there is a difference between knowing something, and actually experiencing it, isn’t there?”

I stared at her gentle smile for a never-ending moment, before breaking down crying. Why, just why? “And Silver… He was the b-best pony I ever knew. All he ever wanted was to help others. And now… now… now he’s dead!”

It hurt so bad. I had been trying to keep hope until now, but I could deny it no longer. He was dead. Just dead. Soon, the Knights would find his corpse. What would I do then? Would I—

“Silver is alive. I’ve talked to him.” I blinked. Her voice lacked any malice, any deception, any jest. Yet I could not believe it. I blinked. “He made a foolish decision, but he is alive. Uninjured, too.”

“How do you know this?” Immediately after I opened my mouth, pieces started to slide into place. “I am asleep, am I not?” Selena hummed in response, brow raised and eyes wide. “But you are not part of my dream, are you? And you are telling the truth.”

Selena nodded. My entire body relaxed, and I slumped onto the table, as if only worry had kept me together. Silver was alive. Safe.

“I am surprised,” said Selena. Arching a brow, I looked up at her. “Most ponies only start to recognise the pattern after years of my visits.”

“I think it is due to your magic.” I sniffled. “It feels similar to how I cast mine.”

“Ah. I should have known. I suppose it was part of why I avoided you for so long.”

“Just who are you?” I asked, but immediately understood the foolishness of the question. I knew. Speaking her very name was blasphemy to most ponies. “Better question. What are you?”

Luna met my gaze with a rueful smile. “I am a goddess. A dead one.”

I stared at her, my eyebrows knitting together and ears slowly perking up. “Of course,” I said like it was obvious, though it made no sense to me. What else? Questions rushed to my mind, piling up quicker than I could keep up. “At the risk of sounding stupid… if you are dead, then how are we talking?” Shade would love to hear about this.

I winced.

“I have always been able to talk to ponies in their dreams. When I died, I found that the Land of the Dead is nothing but an endless sea of dreams conjured up by unchanging souls, ever frozen.”

I furrowed my brow. It made all too much sense. “And The Tower bridges the gap between the Land of the Living and that of the Dead.”

Luna nodded. “Precisely.”

We sat in silence for a long while, barely enjoying our tea; I, scrambling to organise my thoughts, she, patiently waiting.

I cleared my throat. “So, you talk to everypony in The Tower, and we somehow forget you ever existed?”

“To be exact, I suppress your memories. I fear the knowledge of my existence would only lead to conflict and destabilise The Tower.”

“I see. Is this mere entertainment for you?” Despite my attempt to sound genuine, my voice held a sardonic edge. My tail flicked.

Luna’s smile faltered, and she sighed, then shook her head. “I know it may seem like it, but please believe me: I only seek to help. I never fully suppress the memories of ponies’ conversations with me, such that they remember the conversation, but do not remember having it.”

“I… see.” I took a sip of tea to give myself the time to find the right words. “Would you be willing to tell me where Silver is, and allow me to remember it in the morning?” I squinted. Morning? But I hadn’t— “She drugged me! She made me fall asleep!”

Luna had to hold back a laugh as she swallowed her tea, before setting down her cup. “I believe she only gave you something to slow down your mind. You fell asleep all on your own. You would not be able to dream if you had been drugged.”

Any mirth disappeared from her face, and she sighed. “Before I tell you about Silver, I need you to promise me one thing.”

Awfully ominous. “That depends on your terms, but I am listening…”

“Please, leave The Tower when you have the chance. Leave it to its rightful owner, and let somepony else handle it.”

“What? I am the rightful owner.” We shared a look. “Fine. Perhaps that is not entirely true, but if I leave, many ponies will die.”

“And none of it is your fault. You should not have to pay the price for the foolishness of your ancestors.” Under her pleading gaze, my ears wilted alongside my conviction. “Please, leave. Take Silver with you and live a happy life. Let me at least save two children from the horrors of this place.”

I gulped. If only it was as simple as that. “I… I will think about it. I swear I will consider it.” The idea was tempting, but hidden behind many thorns. “But I cannot promise any more.”

Luna sighed. “I thought as much. I will tell you all I know about Silver, but he has not gone back to sleep yet. I have little clue where he could be right now.”

S9.1 — Bloodied Silver

“I hate rain,” I mumbled under my breath as heavy drops soaked my fur, mane, and feathers. The air was heavy, the clearing bleak, and the cloud underneath me cold and wet.

“Me too,” said Selena as she sat down next to me.

Without looking at her, I scoffed, my mouth twisting into a scowl. “What do you want?” Why was I even mad at her?

In the corner of my eye, she recoiled, then took a deep breath. “I… heard you lost a friend. I wanted to keep you company.” She sounded so genuine, so hurt, that I almost gave in. At my lack of reaction, she sighed. “I can leave, if you would prefer.”

I wanted her to. I wanted her away. I wanted to hurt her like she had hurt me. But I didn’t want to be alone. Hades, why was I even mad at her? How had she hurt me? I couldn’t even remember her name when I had gone to bed!

I blinked. Realisations flooded in. Puzzle pieces fell into place as her spell broke and long-hidden truths were dragged into the daylight.

“Oh yeah,” I snapped, “keep me company so that you can continue to spout empty platitudes while everypony else suffers?” I turned to her and jabbed her chest. “You could have actually helped me. Instead, all you ever do is talk philosophy or whatever!”

She blinked, at a loss for words. “What do you mean?” Yet her eyes betrayed her understanding.

“Don’t play dumb with me! You knew! You knew so much, didn’t you? You knew I was nothing more than Aurora’s slave, no matter what she called me. You knew about Arawn. You knew about the viscount! You knew he was a murderous, vicious monster that needs to be put down! And you knew about the prisons! You knew. You knew, you knew, you knew!”

Did she really? Or was I just hoping to justify lashing out against her? What did it matter? She’d hurt me. Nothing she did was well-intentioned.

I was panting and crying, furious and desperate. “Tell me, if you’re so bloody kind, why did I never remember you? You were scared I’d figure you out if you let me think about it while awake, weren’t you? Or are you maybe gonna claim it wasn’t your doing? I don’t know what you want from me, but I won’t be your plaything!” My wings flared out as I reared.

Selena tried to wear her usual understanding, gentle smile, but not even that could hide the hurt in her eyes. “I’m sorry.” She averted her gaze, and soon turned away entirely. “I’ll leave you be.”

She started walking away, but with my rage vented, my heart ached. “Wait…”

She looked at me, but I didn’t manage to meet her eyes. “I’m sorry,” I muttered.

Why couldn’t I stay mad? Why was I so weak? Damn me and my soft heart.

“I understand.” For a moment, there was only the sound of rain. Then, she sat next to me. “Life has not been easy on you.”

“This ain’t about me…” I huffed, a bitter scowl on my face. “Last time I checked, I was still alive.”

“That does not mean your life is easy. It is…” She hesitated to continue, but shook her head. “It is part of why I have hidden the truth from you. I did not want to risk you suffering more than you already had.”

“In other words, you bloody took pity on me,” I muttered, unable to keep my hurt pride out of my voice. Shifting away, I turned to face her, water running down my cheeks.

Selena’s ears folded back. “I did, and for that I apologise. But… when you talked about everything with such hopeful eyes, I did not want to take it away from you.” She grimaced. “I should have known better. I failed you, Silverstring, and for that I am sorry.” After a heavy moment of silence, she added, “You didn’t deserve any of this, and certainly not being left in the dark.”

I scoffed. “But I do. I’m a horrible pony. I got dozens, if not hundreds of ponies killed, but I sit here, wallowing in self-pity.” Staring at the ground, I gulped. “Worst of all, I was ready to accept their deaths, just like that. I was ready to just bloody say, Oh well, nothing I can do here, and be on my merry fucking way. I changed my Stars-damned mind when I saw the corpse of my friend. The friend I got killed!”

My shout echoed through the clearing, and I found myself panting. “Somehow, she’s more important than hundreds of other ponies. Just because I knew her.” I lay down on the cloud as the raindrops continued to pelt me. “I’m a horrible pony. I deserve everything that happened to me.”

Selena draped a wing over me, shielding me from the rain. “It is completely natural to be affected more deeply by the death of somepony you knew. It happens to everypony. When…” She gulped, furrowed her brow, then shook her head. “When I was young, ponies kept dying around me. Suddenly, ponies I barely knew were gone forever.” She took a moment to gather her thoughts. “I understood the concept, and their deaths saddened me, but most of all, it felt surreal. The idea that I had already seen them for the last time—that there wouldn’t be another—would trot in my head for a few days. Then, I would go back to business.”

“But it’s not the same…” I protested, only for my thoughts to run dry. It was different! But how?

Selena waited for me to elaborate, but eventually continued, “One day, one of the maids died. I had known her since she had started working in the castle as a young mare. She had been the one in charge of the area around my room.” Selena wiped a tear before it could spill. “I would bump into her at night, once or twice every week, and we would chat. I did not even notice as she aged.” She swallowed a sob and forced a steady voice. “Look at me, crying as I try to console you.”

“It’s… it’s okay,” I mumbled, fighting off tears of my own. “I don’t mind hearing about it. How did she die? If I can ask.” I didn’t deserve to forget about everything I’d seen today, yet I could not stop myself from escaping these thoughts.

Selena watched the ground, dozens of paces beneath us, and for a while I didn’t know if she would answer. “Old age. During her funeral, I realised she could have retired a long time ago, but chose to keep working. She did not have many friends, and those she did have, she knew from work.”

“I’m sorry to hear that…”

“It is all right. I have had more than enough time to come to terms with her passing, although her memory brought me to tears.” She paused for a moment, perhaps to reminisce. “You know, for a long time I blamed myself for her death. Maybe if I had talked to her outside of work, she would have lived longer. I was her friend, yet I never reached out to her.”

“That’s not the same!” I shouted. “She wasn’t killed in a blind rage, she chose to continue working!”

Selena gave me a small smile. “I never claimed it was, and I was not trying to insinuate anything.” She turned solemn again. “Tell me, Silver, why do you believe to have caused these ponies’ deaths?”

“I… because I failed to save them. I could have rushed off immediately, instead of waiting for Aurora. I could have tried harder to convince her to do something. I could have been faster. Or picked a better path. Or anything at all.” I slumped. “I failed everypony.” The more reasons I listed, the more I wondered if I was really to blame. No, I had to be. Who else but me?

“I know it doesn’t make sense,” I muttered. “It’s just… I feel like such a hypocrite. I’ve been happily ignoring the horrors of this place, pretending like they weren’t my problem, just ’cause I thought I couldn’t do anything to fix them. Would things be different if I had tried? Can’t help but wonder…” I laid my head on the wet cloud, and sighed. “And now…”

“And now,” said Selena, “you cannot hide from the problem anymore, because somepony you knew was involved.”

I tried to reply, but the words caught in my throat as I suppressed a sob. I gulped. “I’m such a selfish, ignorant idiot…”

“You are not. It is one thing to accept that awful things might happen far away from you. It is another to have a loved one die, especially if you blame yourself. Anypony would react like this.”

I had no reply, only tears. Nothing made sense. I could have saved her. Could I really? I didn’t know. I couldn’t know. Why was it so much easier to blame myself than to accept she was gone? Did part of me believe that, if I shouldered the guilt, she would come back? How stupid.

But then, what else could I do? None of this made sense!

I mumbled, “She deserved better. So much better. She was such a good pony. Caring, wise, kind. So many things I wish I could be.” I choked back another sob, gritting my teeth. “Why am I alive, and Nightshade dead‽” I cried into the empty clearing.

The echoes only made me angrier. “Why is the viscount alive‽” I screamed. He deserved to die more than anypony! “Why is Aurora? Why is Halterdawn? Why are the nobles that let entire villages starve, and why are the kind and loving Princesses dead?” I smashed the cloud below me to bits.

As I fell, my tears followed me, as did the rain. Selena was falling next to me, though her mane and tail remained static, as if she wasn’t moving at all.

“You too are a good pony.” The desperate sorrow in her voice matched my own pleas. Damn it, why did she care? “But you need to accept that you have limits. Even the Princesses made mistakes, and they were thousands of years old! In fact, they made some of the biggest mistakes known to ponykind. They were so grand, so wise and powerful—they were idolised, Silver, worshipped! Both of them. Even with their power and wisdom, they failed. Even together, they still couldn’t save everypony. Not even themselves.”

“But they tried! And they cared! I don’t!” I stopped falling, paces from the ground, and the world froze. Hanging my head, I closed my eyes. “It’s so damn easy for me to ignore the suffering of others. It’s so damn easy to shut it all out, to forget about it. I tell myself I’ll help them when I can, but here I am, only ever thinking about myself and those close to me. If I hadn’t been so bloody selfish and stupid, I would have visited the prisons immediately after arriving, and I would have helped Bloodmoon much sooner.” I clenched my jaw in a last attempt to stop myself from breaking down. “None of this would have happened if I genuinely cared about ponies less fortunate than me, rather than pretending to make myself feel better!”

When I heard her open her mouth, I cut her off. “I’m not wise, either. If I was, I would have known what to do from the beginning. I would have caught on that Halterdawn would betray me. I would have known how to get him not to!”

I spat. “And kind? I’m a snarky, arrogant asshole who always tries to look like the smartest, coolest person in the room. I was nice to Arawn because I found her attractive. How’s that kindness? I wanted to be Shade’s friend because I took pity on her. That ain’t kindness, either!”

Selena cut me off by wrapping her hooves around my neck and withers and pulling me to her. “Hush now, dear Silver.”

Anger and indignation flared, only to be washed away as I started sobbing into her chest. I was a foal again, crying my eyes out in the warm embrace of my mother. She stroked my back and whispered sweet reassurances. Long after I’d lost track of time, I pulled myself out of her hug, sniffling.

Her smile so awfully sad, she whispered, “Please promise me you’ll leave The Tower, Silver, no matter the cost. You too deserve so much better, and this place is eating you up. Day by day, you lose more of yourself. If you stay, you will end up like Nightshade. Or worse, like Aurora.”

The world began to swim, and Selena frowned. “What unfortunate timing; you are waking up. This conversation is far from over, though.”

My fur was still wet with the water I’d splashed on my face. “So, what do you need me to do?” I asked Bloodmoon, forcing a weak smile. I had to do this. I had to side with her.

“We need weapons,” she stated. “Unfortunately, while the nobles could get away with stealing some of the Knights’ arms, that is not an option for us.”

She gave me a moment to interject, but I only replied with an expectant look.

“That leaves us with two options. Steal back the prisoners’ belongings, or find the caches in the old prison layer.” Wasn’t the first the same as stealing from the Knights?

“I can do that. Tell me where to look, and I’m on it.”

She shook her head. “You’re a good fighter, but I wouldn’t send you alone into the depths of that place. You’d be down there for hours.”

I arched a brow. “Then you want me to steal back the prisoners’ weapons?”

Again she shook her head. “I have a contact in one of the noble families, a serf.” My mind conjured up a memory of Shade, telling me about her duties. Then, lying in a pool—I gritted my teeth. “She steals a dozen weapons at once, bundles them, and tosses them over the nearest cliff, which leads straight to one of the old prisons.”

My ears perked up. “Then you want me to fetch that?”

Yet another shake of her head. “Not quite.” Could I really trust her? Her motives were pure on the surface, but—I gritted my teeth. The longer this conversation went on, the more chances for me to change my mind. I didn’t want to change my mind. I had to kill the viscount and everything he stood for. “In fact, I count that pile of weapons as one of the caches we need to find. Once we have enough weapons, I can start sending ponies to fetch more.” With a half-smile, she shrugged, tilting her head. “First, I need a decent stock, though.”

“Then what do I do‽” I snapped, wincing at my outburst. I needed to do something already. I’d sat around long enough.

Bloodmoon frowned. “Sorry, I thought you would want to know the details. I’ll cut to the point, then.” She looked at me, and I nodded. “You’ll fetch a crate my contact recently dropped. I’m pretty sure it’s either in the Nightfang mushroom fields, or in the Fell coal mine.” I blinked. I’d forgotten House Fell owned one of these, though they only rented it to others. “I figured you’d have an easy time getting into both of those, since you’re Aurora’s personal serf.”

I winced at the reminder. I was her slave. She owned me. I’d known for a while, but kept pretending like I was just her assistant. My talk with Bloodmoon, yesterday evening, had ripped that bandage off once and for all.

It had also shown me more of the real Bloodmoon. Given the situation, she had fully dropped the mask, stopped playing games, and told me about her family. They’d held a grudge against the monstrous, murderous viscount for generations, and Bloodmoon had known the rumours were not rumours. She, too, blamed herself for the situation, and had finally decided to take action.

However, while her words painted her plans as selfless and heroic, something had struck me as wrong. She’d talked about improving prisoner lives, freeing those who’d served their sentence, and liberating the serfs.

“Silverstring?” she asked, her eyebrows knitted together and a frown on her mouth.

“I didn’t want to talk about it, but I’m afraid things will go wrong if I don’t.” I sighed. “Bloodmoon, is there something you ain’t telling me?”

She squinted at me. “About what? This mission? Yes, I skipped a lot of details, because—”

“No. About why you’re doing this. I believe you when you say you want to help ponies at the bottom of society, but…” I grimaced, swaying my head. “I think there’s more to it.”

First, Bloodmoon met my eyes, but after a few seconds, she was staring off into the distance, brow furrowed. No immediate rebuttal or lie? How odd. Maybe she hadn’t realised it, like I hadn’t truly realised I was a slave? Or how my concern for others was just a front for my selfishness?

“Oh,” I said. She’d never mentioned her role in any of this, like she’d been avoiding the topic. “You want to use this as an opportunity to move up the social ladder, but you’re not admitting it to yourself.”

She stared at me, wide-eyed. “That’s… that’s not true. The only reason I would want power would be to help those below me.”

“If you say so.” I shrugged. She sounded genuinely convinced by her own words, but I knew better. “Anyway, I’ll get you your weapons.”

She was just like me, which meant I knew what to expect from her.

I trotted along the path between two mushroom fields, the gems strapped to my chest and flanks illuminating everything around me. On the one hoof, it made me stand out. On the other, it allowed me to spot anything that might try to sneak up on me. As unlikely as it would have been in normal times to find monsters this high up, the bloodshed might have stirred something up. Besides, nopony had been here for a while, not since the field had been sown.

Fortunately, I had encountered nothing so far.

Unfortunately, the light also allowed me to spot things I would have preferred not to see, such as the occasional skeleton overgrown with mushrooms. Presumably belonged to an overworked prisoner or serf that had been left to rot.

If not for my crystals’ bright light, I would have remained blissfully unaware of its presence. Perhaps it was for the best, then, since it forced me to acknowledge The Tower’s horrors.

I should have known. All the times Aurora hesitated or acted shifty when she said something. She wasn’t just randomly being awkward, she was actively trying to avoid inconvenient topics. Yet blindly trusting her had been comfortable. Damn it, I should have known. Shade would still be alive if I had.

I should never have trusted Aurora. I shouldn’t trust Bloodmoon, either. She would try to manipulate me, to use me.

Damn it! Only a few hours had passed, and I was already starting to doubt my judgement. What in Tartarus had happened to I know what to expect from her?

Regardless of how trustworthy she was, arming the prisoner rebels would cause a lot of bloodshed. Guards who had done nothing wrong. Prisoners who would be drawn into a fight they might not want. Even many civilian sarosians would get caught in the midst of it all.

I sighed, shook my head, and took to the air. Sweet Sun, was my conviction truly so weak? Guards chose their career themselves, and they chose to keep up the status quo. Sarosians were responsible for the situation to begin with, no matter their excuses. Prisoners who weren’t willing to die for their freedom didn’t deserve it, anyway.

Perhaps that took it a bit far. Was I really stubborn enough to justify ponies’ deaths? All of that had been so insignificant yesterday, or even this morning. Back then, only saving The Tower had mattered, I now wondered… what did it mean to save ponies, if it implied spilling their blood? Was it worth it?

Why did I have to make such a choice? I was just a guard. Damn it, why was it so hard to be true to my desires? I was selfish, wasn’t I? So why couldn’t I sacrifice these ponies to move up alongside Bloodmoon? Why was it so damn hard?

I’d never asked for this. I just wanted to prove myself and become somepony. Now, I finally could… but at what cost?

My thoughts continued to torment me in this endless cycle, only finally broken by a wall, barely illuminated by the crystal on my chest.

This might be where I would find the bundle of weapons. I had to stay sharp.

Fortunately, after a few minutes of flying around the area, I found it, despite my inability to focus. My mind had kept wandering off towards topics I wanted to forget.

The bundle was wrapped in planks held together by rope, which also tied together most of the weapons inside. At first glance, none of them appeared damaged.

I pulled a sheet out of my saddlebags and wrapped it around the bundle, before placing the whole thing on my back and tying it down. The weapons barely rattled, firmly kept in place by the rope. I had wondered how to make it past the guard, but given my collar, it was unlikely he’d bother me about some cloth on my back.

I’d betray Aurora like she’d betrayed me. Like she’d betrayed Shade. Like she’d betrayed everypony killed by the viscount. I’d do things my own way and see results.

Even if it meant spilling ever more innocent blood?

No, I would not allow my conviction to falter due to some necessary deaths. I had to make sacrifices. Everypony had to make sacrifices.

That would make me just like Aurora, wouldn’t it?

But if I didn’t, the viscount would get away with it. He—

Thou seemest uncertain, boy. The alien thought echoed in my mind, uttered like one of mine. Yet I knew. I knew how my fur bristled. I knew the shiver that ran down my spine. I knew the piercing, empty eyes of the skeleton in front of me.

My entire body tensed up, I gritted my teeth, and the skeleton stared. “What do you want‽” I managed to shout.

I would give thee recourse. An option.

“What, a magical solution where nopony gets hurt?” Like I’d believe that.

I would tempt thee not with the impossible. Instead, I shall tell thee of another way out. A means to avoid further trial and turmoil, and regain thy freedom.

I blinked. A way out? I had been here over a year, yet the idea of busting out had never crossed my mind.

There is a passage near the seal, in the abandoned prison layer. It is lost to time for most, yet the Doctor knew of it. Take this path, Silverstring. Take it and save thyself.

Why would I? Why was it suddenly nice to me?

The choice is thine to make; thou alone canst save thy soul.

And then, it was gone, though its words remained.

A way out. A way to avoid taking a part in the bloodshed bound to happen. A way back to normalcy.

Aurora had promised me the same, but what in the Sun’s name did her word mean anymore?

But leaving would be selfish. I would be washing my hooves of the bloodshed to come, but at what cost? I would feel guilty for leaving everypony behind.

Yet the thought hurt less than expected. To leave this accursed tower. To fly through an open sky once more. To breathe dirty but fresh air. To live again. The idea lightened my entire body like a cut ballast rope.

“Fuck The Tower,” I murmured. I chuckled, blinking tears of relief away. None of this was my problem! I could leave. I could leave! My chuckle turned into a laugh, then into a mad cackle, echoing off the walls. It was so simple. So Celestia-damn simple.

I didn’t have to do the impossible. I didn’t have to save anypony who could not be saved. I could live.

Yet a thought remained in the back of my head. Nothing important. I would be free. Free!

I dropped the bundle of weapons, spat at it, and flew up. High in the air, belly up and limbs sprawled, I laughed as I let myself fall like a feather.

I would need to show Arawn this trick when she learned to fly.

My heart dropped into my stomach. Arawn! If I left, she would be alone. And I would be alone as well. I would lose my best friend. I would go back to being a name in a list of trainees.

I gulped, tears running down my cheeks.

I needed to speak to her. Maybe she would leave with me.

Author's Note

Again, huge thanks to Sir Mediocre for the ye olde english

S9.2 — Silver Blood

I stroked Arawn’s mane as she slept underneath my wing. The moment was so surreal that I kept needing to remind myself how I had gotten here.

To my utter surprise, I’d found her in my bed of all places. It had taken me a few moments and a whole train of thought to realise why she was here. She’d been worried about me, and somehow ended up passing out on my bed.

That had left me with very few options. Ultimately I had decided to wake her up and accompany her to the gates of the estate, all while trying to nudge the conversation towards the topic of freedom. Maybe she would be okay with leaving alongside me. Or maybe I’d gather the courage to leave her behind.

However, only the first part of my plan had succeeded. Arawn had nearly panicked when I’d woken her up. Had babbled on about ascending, about stopping the slaughter, about saving ponies. Must have dreamed about Shade.

After she’d finally calmed down, she’d reaffirmed that goal. Thus, my burning determination to leave The Tower, no matter the cost, had fizzled out, the joy that had overtaken me suddenly inconsequential.

I couldn’t leave my one friend behind, could I? That would be past selfish, and I could never forgive myself.

Instead, I had reaffirmed my vow to support her throughout it.

We’d hugged, and neither of us had let go for a long, long time. I had managed to stop thinking about Shade until then, but that moment of calm was all it took for my feelings to catch up with me.

I’d cried into Arawn’s shoulder, and she into mine. Nothing new. Eventually, she had fallen back asleep. In my bed.

I should wake her up, find another bed for her.

Or I could do that tomorrow. Tomorrow sounded nice.

I closed my eyes, drifting off to sleep.

Or so I would have wanted. My neck was beginning to hurt. Arawn had laid hers across my withers, while I’d twisted mine to lie on her forelegs.

I began to extract myself from the embrace. Arawn groaned, and I whispered, “Sorry.”

If she woke up now, it would probably be for the better. She’d leave my room, and we’d meet up tomorrow morning. It really wouldn’t be good if we were caught sharing a bed, after all.

As I nearly managed to pull myself out from under her, Arawn wrapped a leg around my barrel and dragged herself on top of me, her muzzle resting near the base of my neck, breath hot on my hide.

Muttering a swear, I tried to move the other way. Arawn, however, held me tight. I turned my head to say something, but her smell nearly overpowered my desire to leave. Her usual and various soaps had been overshadowed by her own, slightly sweaty, scent. It was intoxicating.

Focus, Silver. “Arawn, come on. You need to go,” I managed to whisper. However, she didn’t react to my pleas. Probably still asleep, huh?

At least I was comfortable now. Mostly. One of her elbows poked my ribs, her fangs scraped my neck, her hot breath made my head spin, and her weight compressed my stomach, making breathing slightly harder. Still, this was better than before.

Might as well stay like that. Nopony would know, anyway.

Arawn licked my neck. My eyes shot open, and I gasped. Then, she sank her fangs into me. The pain lasted a fraction of a second. Had I imagined it? No, her mouth was pressed against my fur, and her throat brushed against me with every gulp.

I closed my eyes as I let go of my breath. Thoughts screamed in my mind, but they were distant, incomprehensible, irrelevant. My skin tingled. She smelled as wonderful as ever. Only her sips broke the utter silence in the room.

All too soon, it was over. She licked my neck a few times before letting her head fall on my withers. A distant part of me expected the wound to bleed, but the characteristic heat never flowed.

Author's Note

~~If anyone is surprised by the vampire reveal, I'll buy a hat just to eat it~~

A10 — My Own Cloud Above

A10 — My Own Cloud Above

Aurora yawned as she sat down in front of her cup of tea: a brew so intense its smell assaulted my nostrils from across the table.

She took a long sip, louring at both of us. Silver avoided her eyes, while I tried to defuse the situation with a sheepish smile.

She had not been pleased to find out she had stayed up all night, mobilised her entire Knight regiment in search of Silver, only to find out he had not only slipped through the cracks on complete accident—in her hurry, she had told none of the serf layer’s guards to look for him—but had then spent the night with me.

Well, we had merely taken comfort in each other's presence, cried into each other’s shoulder, and fallen asleep like that. Aurora, of course, believed none of that.

Moreover, that mattered very little. The true problem lay in neither of us thinking to inform her. I had already profusely apologised to her, and even Silver had reluctantly done so. She would forgive us in due time, but right now she was decidedly and profoundly annoyed with us.

Aurora cleared her throat. “So, what is this serious matter you needed to tell me about? I don’t exactly have all day.”

Pushing aside any sheepishness and shame, I met her eyes. “I am going to ascend. Tomorrow.” Maybe as an excuse to avoid Aurora’s gaze, I glanced over at Silver, who was staring at the table—or rather past it.

Aurora blinked a few times, eyes wide. “What?” she mouthed before shaking herself out of her daze. “Didn’t you say we needed to buy more time?”

“I did, but plans change. The rebels are bound to grow in numbers, while the loyalists’ will shrink. Things will continue to worsen by the day until it results in another bloodbath. After Father’s rampage, I think we are out of time left to buy. I will have to learn as I do.” I did not want to bind my soul to The Tower, but what choice did I have? “Should we opt to work alongside the rebels, they will still require my ascension to correct many of The Tower’s inherent problems.”

“What about the viscount?” Staring at me, she gulped. “There will be another rampage.”

I held her gaze. “I know. That is why I am talking to you.”

Aurora continued to stare at me, eyes growing wider with every moment, till she muttered, “You want us to contain him while you go through with the ceremony.”

I nodded.

“But…” After a few moments, she closed her eyes and shook her head. When she opened them again, they only held determination. “I will do it. Consider the Knights on your side. However, we will need more time to prepare. Tomorrow is simply too soon.”

“That is fine as well; I just want a definitive time and date to set it all in stone.” Even if I tried, I would not be able to hide my relieved smile. “How long do you think you will need?”

“Give me four days. At the beginning of next week, we will fix this.” She took a long swig from her cup. “We’ll talk again this evening when I have a basic plan. Do you need anything else?”

“No.” While Aurora finished her tea, I turned to Silver, who was rubbing his neck, though not in the usual, sheepish way. “What about you? Did you need me for anything?”

He shook his head. He had stayed oddly quiet this morning. Then again, he was far from a morning pony. He had already donned his caparison so he was presumably ready to tackle the day.

“All right. I will be back this afternoon. I have to do some research on… well, on everything.”

“I’ll be trainin’. Might take a nap, though,” Silver said in a tone that lacked the lethargy I expected. Was something on his mind?

Later that day, Silver and I sat down at the edge of our old spot, and I sighed, relaxing. Finally a moment to myself.

Though only a few days had passed since we last met here, the sight of the barely lit serf town filled me with nostalgia, with memories of what felt like a lifetime ago, of—

This late, nearly nopony walked the streets below.

I glanced at Silver, who was staring out into the open cave before us. I tried to follow his gaze, but found only stalactites amidst the darkness. He had not spoken much today, and I had assumed he would turn more talkative once he and I were alone again. Our trip here had proven me wrong. I would have to incite him to open up, though given how much time we would spend together, I needed not insist.

After all, I would be staying at Aurora’s mansion for convenience. She and I had decided on that during our long and meticulous conversation earlier this evening. She and I would need to communicate extensively to plan my ascension, but she dreaded entering the Estate; she feared meeting the viscount again might trigger another episode.

I would still have to return daily to check on Father, who had retreated to his quarters, and had not left them since. Though I had cast a spell on his door that would alert me if he left, it would be wrong and cruel to pretend he no longer existed.

Though I would betray him soon enough, I needed to show him some kindness until then. He remained my one and only father, even with his psyche on the verge of permanent breakage.

His was the fate of a pony bound to The Tower; a pony who could no longer die, but whose soul would continue to deteriorate. It would continue to rot, until naught but a shadow remained: a Forsaken, pushed into an incomprehensible hell, into an endless nightmare.

I smacked my lips. Perhaps I needed a distraction. I sighed, looking over to Silver. He was rubbing the side of his neck yet again. Could it be…? No, of course not. “Are you okay, Silver? You haven’t said much all day.”

I offered him a smile, and he returned it, albeit weaker, bordering on a grimace. “Not sure. I don’t know how to feel.”

I nodded, then stared at the town below. “Me too. Nothing will be the same, and it is… terrifying to be on the brink of something as huge as this.”

He chuckled. “Well, that too, I suppose.”

I hummed in reply. Was I even ready? There were numerous gaps in my knowledge of the ritual, like new words in an ancient text. Individually, they had obvious explanations or definitions, but together, they cast doubt on my understanding of the whole.

I squinted. Wait a second. “Too? Then what did you mean?”

Tilting his head, he furrowed his brow. “How does my blood taste to somepony like you?” He spoke the question in such a neutral tone that my mind needed a few moments to catch up.

My heart stopped. I blinked several times at him before memories crashed into me like a tidal wave. My jaw fell open, and I averted my eyes. “I… I thought that was a dream,” I mumbled.

Silver watched in silence, but I dared not meet his gaze. What could I even say? This would be the end of our friendship. How stupid, disgusting of me. How dare I do this to him? Treat him like my property? Like he was just another prisoner, paying his blood tax? I stared at the ground, at the verge of tears. I was awful.

But I had to try. Sweet Celestia, I had to try.

Still unable to meet his gaze, I gulped. “I’m so sorry. I… I was hungry and I… I wasn’t really thinking and… and it all felt like such a haze. When I woke up, I completely forgot about it and I—”

“I guess that does make sense.” He forced a chuckle, but the pain in his voice hurt even me. “You were… you were completely out of it.”

My head shot up to meet his gaze. I had expected scorn, but found only a weak smile and half-closed, sad eyes. Selfish relief washed over me, but I refused to let it sweep me away. “I know it is no excuse, but I promise it will not happen again.” How could I have been so foolish? I hadn’t eaten in nearly a day. I should have known! I should have fetched some food as soon as he woke me.

“Am… am I gonna turn into a batpony now?” I would have laughed, if not for the genuine worry in his voice. “As much as I want to stay with you and help you out, I also don’t like the idea of never seeing the sun again, and I—”

“No. Popular depictions of vampires do not apply to sarosians.” I kept my tone matter-of-fact. This was important. “We simply crave blood, and need it to survive. Vitro told me we struggle with iron deficiencies and can barely produce our own red blood cells.” To be exact, she had rambled on about it to herself. I had merely been in the room.

Head tilted, Silver only replied with a blank stare.

“I do not fully understand what that means, either, but in laypony’s terms, we need others’ blood because ours isn’t good enough.” I almost tried to give him a reassuring smile, but could not force myself. I had just admitted to being a parasite. There was nothing to smile about.

Yet he smiled at me. “Then I don’t have any qualms about forgivin’ you. It didn’t hurt, and I already knew you guys drank blood, so it ain’t much of a shock. Bloodmoon told me. Well, I should have guessed before that, but I’m pretty damn stupid.”

He… forgave me? But how? Even with his explanation, it made no sense! I had used him. Treated him like property. Taken him for granted. I—

“At some point,” he said, breaking the short silence and snapping me out of my stupor. When had I even looked away from him?. “I was wonderin’ if you would ask me to give you some o’ mine, and I decided that yes, I would, but I also didn’t expect you to actually bite me, let alone without askin’, and so I was worried, and I… I’m rambling.”

He sighed, and his smile shrank a little. “In the end, I was just bothered that you didn’t ask, but I can’t blame you for actin’ on instinct.” He shrugged. “Even if it does feel weird to be treated as a meal.”

“Thank you,” I replied with tears in my eyes. He had not only accepted my condition, but had also forgiven me. What had I ever done to deserve such a good friend? “I do promise it will not happen again.”

“I mean… it could.” I blinked at him as his smile turned sheepish. “If I can help you, then I don’t exactly mind. As long as there is no risk for me, and as long as you don’t take too much, I’m willin’ to let you do it on the regular.”

I let go of my held breath, and returned his smile.

He chuckled, and curiosity returned to his face soon after. “By the way, what does my blood taste like? You never answered. Or does blood always taste the same to you?”

I shook my head. “There are minor variations. Yours, however, has the same oddly bitter aftertaste as mine. Nothing major, but it does stand out. I kind of thought it was exclusive to my own.”

“What a weird coincidence.” He scratched his chin, brow raised high. “Any idea why?”

I furrowed my brow, and my ears perked. “Come to think of it, I am unsure whether it has always been like this, or if it has changed after the surgery.” Silver squinted. “Maybe Vitro would have known.”

“It’s probably for the best she’s disappeared, then.” He shrugged, but elaborated when he met my quizzical gaze. “I don’t think I coulda heard another sentence from her without wanting to end either my life or hers,” he deadpanned. “Preferably hers.”

After a quiet second, I burst out laughing, as did he. When we eventually calmed down, we sat in a comfortable silence for a while. I had nothing to say as I stared at his beautiful smile.

All too soon, it disappeared, turning into a frown.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

Silver winced. “This heart-to-heart reminds me there’s somethin’ I should tell you. I’m just…” His ears drooped. “Not sure if I should ever bring it up.”

“What is it? Is it about the plan? If you are having second thoughts, then you need to tell me.” I touched his cheek and smiled. “You know I can’t do this without you.” Or, rather, I did not want to do it without him.

“It’s… Kind of. Not entirely, but sort of. I just…” He gulped. “I don’t know how to put it.” He sighed. “I don’t want to burden you with this, but I know it’s stupid to hold it in.”

Silver took a few deep breaths, and finally said, “I found out about a secret exit from The Tower, but when I thought about you, my gut tied itself into a knot.” He looked me in the eye, grimacing. “I couldn’t bring myself to leave without you. You mean so bloody much to me that I simply can’t choose freedom over you.”

The world stood still. Was this—No. He had already rejected me once. Why would he change his mind?

“Then you said you wanted to stay.” He tried to smile, but his eyes held far too much doubt. “Please, don’t take this as an attempt to change your mind, but…” He hesitated for a moment. “I just wanted to say how much I’m willing to give up, and…” He gulped. “And how much you mean to me.”

Calm down, Arawn. He will merely call you his best friend. Best friends always did such things for each other.

“But the truth is…” He rubbed his crest, briefly staring at the ground. “I rejected you only because I was afraid. I was afraid of ponies finding out. I was afraid of your father. I was afraid for you and your standing. I was afraid of taking advantage of you. I was afraid of ponies paying attention to me, only to judge me unworthy.”

No, this was too good to be true. Any moment now, he would say but or however and then reject me again.

“But…” My heart skipped a beat. “But in reality, the only opinion that matters is yours. You deemed me worthy, and I was too cowardly to accept it.” He let out an awkward laugh. “It’s funny that, out of everything in the world, a confession would be the scariest.”

I stared at him, mouth threatening to hang open. He was saying all that, and I was misinterpreting it. That had to be it.

“Arawn,” he said, “I love you too.”

With five words, he melted the knot in my stomach. I sat there, paralysed, a grin slowly spreading on my face. Before I knew it, our lips touched, and he ran his hoof down my barrel, his caress nigh electric on my hide. I lost myself in the moment.

After Stars knew how long, I finally pulled away, panting. With my left hoof, I wiped off the strand of saliva on my chin. Caressing Silver’s chest with my right one, I shared a look with him, and his happy grin soon turned to disappointment, before growing sheepish.

I chuckled, enjoying the slowly fading warm fuzziness in my chest. “Don’t worry, I hate to break the moment as much as you do, but we should talk this through sooner, rather than later.”

Silver pouted, then reluctantly shrugged. “I guess you’re right. I just forgot everything else for a while, so this is quite the whiplash.”

“Trust me, me too.” In fact, I had almost failed to work up the incredible willpower needed to break myself off of him. “But I too need to be honest with you.” I gulped. “I want to leave as well.”

Silver’s eyes popped wide, but my grimace shut down his grin. He gulped. “What’s stopping you?”

“In theory, nothing. If we give The Tower over to the rebels, and if the Knights take care of Father—” I grimaced “—then, they can rebuild it as they see fit.”

“And in practice?”

“For one, I don’t know their odds of success. Maybe it is easy, but maybe they are doomed from the beginning. There are too many details I fail to grasp, too many unknowns.” I sighed. “Should they succeed, I still don’t know if they would establish a new order that could improve on the state of affairs. If they fail, will they even have the courage to admit it, and to evacuate?”

Silver furrowed his brow and stayed quiet for a few moments. “In other words, you don’t want the responsibility, but you don’t trust anypony else with it either.”

I opened my mouth to rebut, but closed it again and hummed. “Actually, that is a good way of putting it.” I frowned, looked away, and sighed yet again. “I do not want to abandon my duties, but the longer this goes on, the less I trust even myself to handle it well.”

Staring at the ground, I muttered, “I think…” I looked up at him, heart hammering in my chest. “I think you gave me the last push I needed to accept it.” A smile spread on my face, as a weight fell off my chest. “Let’s leave, you and I.”

Silver blinked a few times, brow knitted and ears perked up. After a moment, he shook himself out of it and asked, “What about Aurora? Are you okay with betraying her?”

“Actually, the topic came up when we were exploring all our options. She’s the one who first brought it up.” I had dreamed about it, too, but had not seriously considered it until now.

He quirked an eyebrow. “So she knows about the hidden exit?”

I shook my head. “As far as she and I know, you and I could simply leave through the front door.” Would that even be open? “If not, we shall use the one you learned about.”

Silver wrapped a wing around me and nuzzled my cheek. “That works for me.” Oh, how I wanted to forget everything and lose myself in his eyes, his embrace, his body. “You wouldn’t believe how relieved I am.”

“Oh, I would.” I chuckled. “I have always dreamed of leaving this place, but I have long since learned to suppress that fantasy. Now that it is dangled right in front of me, I don’t think I can go back. I do not want to return to a life dictated by duty and obligation.”

I kissed the underside of his muzzle. And how long had I dreamed of doing this? “And I want you to be happy, to be free, even if it means I have to be selfish.”

And selfish I was. I did not even know if I could survive the outside, yet I wanted to take the risk. I was willing to die for my dream, apparently. But if I told Silver… he would never leave The Tower.

Thus, I committed the most selfish act of all: I made the choice for him. It was my life and my risk to take, was it not?

Enough thinking. I kissed his throat, then his collarbone, breathing in every last bit of his scent. Tonight, we would forget about it all. I would forget about it all.

Silver pushed me away, and my heart stopped. Had I done something wrong? Then, his chortle quenched my worries. “Shouldn’t we get somewhere more, uh, private?”

I let out a sheepish chuckle. Silver joined me, and soon we were laughing uncontrollably. After a few moments like this, we finally calmed down, and let out a content sigh. How silly of me.

“Well, let us head back, shall we?” As I turned away, I brushed his muzzle with my tail. I held in a giggle. I had always dreamed of doing that!

A second later, my heart started hammering. Sweet stars. I had just done that. We would be… I gulped and kept walking.

Thankfully, this new source of anxiety kept my thoughts away from any serious topic for the entire trip back.

S10 — Life Outside

I awoke to Arawn licking my neck, and groaned as I stretched. “Do you need to wake me up like that?” I muttered in mock annoyance.

“No.” She chuckled. “But I want to.” I stared into her red eyes, barely lit by the light coming from underneath my door.

For a moment, I lost myself in her gaze. For a moment, we shared a simple, happy smile. For a moment, nothing mattered. I brushed the mane out of her face and kissed her.

But today was the day. The thought hit me as we parted. We would be leaving The Tower, out through the front gate, and hopefully never look back. I’d been here for over a year and a half. Hundred and sixty days. Six months. Today, I would finally leave.

Any joy vanished from Arawn’s face as she furrowed her brow. “Just a few more hours, then we will be free. I am as excited as I am terrified, to be honest.”

I nodded before rolling out of bed. “Me too.” What I would do outside remained an open question. Aurora had given me a letter of recommendation, but whether the Hockneys would take me back remained to be seen.

Arawn stood up as well and levitated a brush over while I slipped on my tunic and fastened a few protective plates to my body.

What would happen to Arawn? If I went back to training, how would she survive? Mom would probably accept to take Arawn in until I could support her, but that might mean I wouldn’t see her for another decade.

Even that wasn’t our most pressing concern. Once we were out of The Tower, we would still need to find a way down. Arawn had put a lot of effort into learning to glide over the past week, and had even gotten the hang of it. However, it remained to be seen if she had the endurance to pull off a long flight, even with my help. If she lost altitude too quickly, it would also—

“Hey, Silver, could you hurry up?”

Arawn stood near my bed, mane brushed and wearing her caparison.

I tried to let out a sheepish chuckle, but it came out forced. “Sorry. Got kinda lost in thought.”

Her warm smile partially melted my worries away. Even if the future was uncertain, we would at least have each other. “Kind of funny that our roles are reversed on the day it might actually matter, don’t you think?” she teased, before sitting down on the bed. “With you taking forever to get ready.”

I rolled my eyes, but couldn’t stop myself from smiling as I finished putting on my rudimentary barding. “There, all done.”

Arawn looked and gestured up. “Do you think Aurora is awake already?”

I nodded, walking out into the hallway. “Definitely. She’s usually up early for her duties, since they’re one of the rare cases where she occasionally tries to be a decent pony.” I ignored Arawn’s disapproving look. “I doubt she will slack off today of all days.” I adjusted a strap on one of my pieces of armour. “I really hope things will go well for the Knights.” For all I cared, Aurora could die today, but her mission was important.

Arawn’s mood soured further. “Me too.” She sighed. “Things in here will get crazier and crazier, until they finally manage to calm the storm… Or have to evacuate. Having her actively help me leave, when I know she’ll struggle so much more… It feels wrong. It feels selfish to leave her behind to deal with it all.”

Her words sent a pang of guilt through my stomach. When we were together, it was so easy to forget about it all. Of course, all our worries had to come back down on the day itself. “Are you sure there ain’t anything we can do to help the ponies here? I still don’t really get why you can’t stay here for a few more years, help the rebels fix up The Tower, then leave.”

For as much as I yearned for freedom, could I really take it at the cost of so many lives?

Yet Arawn shook her head. “It is best I stay out of it unless I intend to ascend. Even with my help, their odds of calming The Tower are slim. If I stay, they will either force me to ascend, or keep trying until there is nopony left. Without me, they will have to come to their senses eventually, and evacuate. I hope.”

I gulped.

As she entered the living room, Arawn’s ears wilted. “But by then, many ponies will have lost their lives. Lives I could have saved by ascending.”

I wanted to tell her that it wasn’t her fault, that nopony could push this responsibility onto her, and that her life was her own to make, but I understood all too well why that would not be the truth.

She grimaced, gritting her teeth. “I don’t want to ascend. It’s a duty I would have to bear until the end of my days. I just… can’t bring myself to want it. I want to live with you, free. I want to run around in the sunlight, fly in the open, and I want to have foals that can do the same.”

“That’s good,” said Aurora from upstairs, startling us both. “Because unless you took precautions, you probably have one on the way.” I froze, as did Arawn. Aurora’s lighthearted tone made me want to wipe her stupid grin off her face. How dare she?

Aurora was completely unfazed by my death glare as she made her way down. When she saw Arawn’s mouth hanging open, she chuckled. “What? You two aren’t as quiet as you think you are.”

Arawn was ready to die from embarrassment, and I ready to kill. On such an important day, she was wasting time teasing us? How incompetent could she be?

Aurora's mouth fell into a solemn frown. “Jokes aside, I don’t know if you’re actually pregnant, and I don’t want to know the details. I just want you to keep it in mind when you get out. A little over three years is not a lot of time to get ready to support a foal.”

Shit. She was right. Worse, I’d judged her too harshly. “Thanks for the heads up,” I said, managing to keep my tone neutral. Another thing to add to the growing pile of worries.

“You’re welcome.” One more smile crossed her face. “Just make sure to name the foal after me if I die. Stars, even if I live.”

Her antics drew a laugh from Arawn, and even I found myself smiling.

As we reached the large, chain-covered door, Arawn dropped the invisibility spell. I shivered, suddenly feeling awfully exposed. The barely lit, white marble hallways thus far had all been empty, but the threat of the viscount was ever-present, oppressive. He could easily kill any one of us. Within minutes, he could be anywhere in the estate.

At least we were here. Arawn undid the locks, one by one. How she’d led us here without getting lost was a mystery to me. If I didn’t know better, I’d think the estate’s layout kept changing.

Pushing the doors open with her magic, Aurora spoke up, “So, I guess this is goodbye, then.” Despite her attempts at an even tone, she failed to keep her eyes dry.

With a heartbroken smile, Arawn was tearing up as well. “Goodbye, Aurora. I’ll miss you.” She barely managed to stop a sob mid-sentence.

These words broke the last of Aurora’s façade, and tears began streaming down her face. “I’ll miss you too. So damn much.” The words caught in her throat, but she forced them through.

Even I was starting to tear up, despite my distaste for Aurora. She was finally making the right choice, even if it might kill her. Even if it took her remaining family from her…

Before the moment could stretch on, Aurora shook her head. “I should get going, before one of us changes her mind.” She turned to me. “Silver… I know things haven’t been good between us due to my actions, but I don’t want to leave off on a sour note.”

As she hesitated, I tried my best to keep my eyes hard, but hers held such genuine remorse that I had to focus to avoid crying.

“Please accept my utmost sincere apology for the way I’ve treated you. Forgive me for deceiving you, for not listening to you, and, for, well…”

“I forgive you, alright,” I grumbled, still clenching my jaw and holding back tears. “I won’t hold onto a pointless grudge just ’cause you hurt me. ’Sides, it was my fault as well. I won’t remember you fondly, but I ain’t gonna spend the rest of my life hating you.”

Aurora smiled weakly. “Thank you.” She nodded once again at Arawn before taking a deep breath, turning around, and walking away.

Arawn and I looked at each other, then faced the doors. We walked into a large, open chamber. My jaw fell as my eyes adjusted to the dim light inside. Unlike most of the other open rooms I’d seen, this one wasn’t a natural cave repurposed by The Tower’s inhabitants. Instead, ponies had carved out the walls and covered them with smooth marble slabs, resulting in a throne room as big as House Hockney’s. If not bigger. Probably bigger.

The Tower only had one official way out of it: a throne room. Only the Morrigan decided who was allowed to leave.

Though… where was the exit? We’d assumed the Morrigan had left it open, but was that a good choice? Arawn had claimed it made the most sense, and given her knowledge of The Tower, I trusted her. Only… what if she was wrong? The exit was nowhere in sight.

We would need to take the secret exit, but what if that was a trap? Erebus was our enemy, so why had it suddenly decided to help me? It claimed it had its reasons, but could I really trust it? I hadn’t even told Arawn, out of fear this might change her mind, but I should have. With every passing day, I liked the idea of following Erebus’ route less.

While I was lost in thought, Arawn had approached the ornate throne in the middle of the room, lit up by dozens of gems embedded in the dais. On top of it stood a statue made of bone, just like the ones in the ballroom.

I squinted my eyes at the statue. It looked a little like Arawn, who soon turned to me and asked, “Do you mind if I take a few moments?”

“’Course, go ahead.”

As I turned away, Arawn tugged at my tail. “I do not mind you hearing this. In fact, I think it’s better if you’re here.”

She took a deep breath and faced the statue. “Hello, Mother. It has been a while, hasn’t it? I am sorry that I have never come to talk.” I was reminded of ponies I’d seen talking to their loved ones’ graves. Though, if Arawn was correct, some of her words still reached her Mother.

“Pity that it is under such unfortunate circumstances, and that it is the last time we shall ever meet. I wish I had another option, but I either have to leave, or take your spot as the Morrigan. As ponies say, I am stuck between a rock and a hard place.” She let out a small chuckle.

“Father will disapprove of either option. It will tear him apart. I wish you were here to calm him. Then again, I suppose you disapprove of them as well, don’t you?” She ran her hoof through her mane, a naïve smile on her lips. “I want to believe you understand, at the very least.”

Arawn gestured to me. “Perhaps I should have started with this, but this is my coltfriend, Silverstring. As you can see, he is not a sarosian, nor even a noble.” She shook her head. “You probably already know all of this, but I wanted to tell you in person.”

The statue remained silent as she sat on her throne, perfectly still.

Arawn sighed. “Whilst he may not be a noble, I love him dearly. He is brave, strong, and smarter than he gives himself credit for.” She grinned. “And he is weird in the best of ways.”

I shared Arawn’s laugh, but rolled my eyes.

Arawn had never really met her mother, so I wouldn’t dare interrupt. She was like me in that regard. I hadn’t realised it until now, but it was our one point in common. Yet while she had been stuck with the viscount and Aurora, I’d had Mom and Auntie Ferris to raise me.

Would they be willing to take us in while we found a way to make a living? No, that was not even a question; of course they would be. Yet it kept coming up, as if my subcon—as if my brain was trying to tell me something.

Maybe… maybe the real question was whether I was willing. I would be leaving behind my opportunity to become somepony, to have a shot at changing things. Alone, I could have gone back to Hockney, and explained the situation.

If Arawn went to live with my family until I could support both Arawn and a potential foal—

My heart skipped a beat. I might become a father. The realisation had not hit me until now. How long would my training even last? Another decade, if they didn’t let me skip anything.

What point was there in freedom, if I couldn’t see Arawn? What good would there be in becoming a mere guard, if it meant my foal would go seven years without its father?

No. Going back to House Hockney was not an option. I would need to be there for Arawn, and she for me. Otherwise, freedom would be utterly meaningless.

“Silver, are you okay?”

I nodded and tried to smile. Yet when it came out as a grimace, I dropped the façade. “I’m having second thoughts.”

Her eyes popped wide. “You are? How come?”

“I’m thinking about life outside. It’s been so easy to kick the bottle down the road, but now that we got so close, the questions have been creeping up.”

She offered a weak smile, but unlike mine, it was sincere. “Please tell me about it.”

Frowning, I shrugged. “I don’t know what there is to say. I’ve already told you everything.” I touched her cheek. “Look, I’m not gonna change my mind. I love you, and I trust you. I trust us. I know we’ll make it work, I just…” I shook my head. “I dunno. It’s hard to explain.”

Arawn averted her eyes, fighting to keep her lips curled up.

I tried to lift her face to look at me, but she pulled away and turned around.

“Arawn, what’s wrong?”

She sighed before facing me, eyes wet with tears. “I am sorry, Silver, but I cannot keep this in. I avoided telling you because it would have influenced your decision, but in hindsight it was damn stupid of me. You deserve to know.”

My heart threatened to stop. “Know what?”

“That I might die within months if I step outside The Tower.” I blinked at her. That couldn’t be true; I’d just misunderstood. “My body is weak, and the miasma will take its toll.” Her ears flat on her skull, she looked away. “Vitro said the odds were against me, but I thought that the progress I had made would improve them. I wanted to ask her again, but she was already gone…”

I stared at her horrible, sad smile in a desperate attempt to make sense of the situation. How could she say that? How could she believe that monster?

“I don’t know how long it would take. Maybe a few months, or several decades. Perhaps I’d even live a few centuries.” Yet Arawn had good reasons to think that…

Damn it! “Then why did you agree to take the risk? Arawn, that’s insane!” I stomped my hoof on the marble floor, and the sound echoed alongside my words in the giant room.

For a second, all was quiet. Arawn stared at the ground, passing a hoof through her mane. The statue watched us with its unmoving regal gaze.

Arawn sighed. “Because I want to see the outside world… because I don’t want to become the Morrigan, and because… because I want you to be safe.”

Never. I wouldn’t ever allow her to die for me.

She looked up at me, grimacing. “But I am scared. Terrified. I thought that I would be able to push past my fears if I faced them with you, but as we draw ever closer to our goal, I cannot ignore them anymore.”

“Didn’t you say you didn’t want to bind yourself to The Tower?” My wings flared on their own as I took a step forward. “That the records claim your personality will change?”

She nodded with a pained smile. “While that also terrifies me, it does so to a lesser extent.” She fell to her haunches and pawed at the ground. “I wanted to think that I was brave. That I would not mind dying, as long as I spent the last of my days with you.”

I sat next to her as she bit back tears. She’d lied to me, but she’d also lied to herself. I wanted to be upset, but this was not about me.

“But life isn’t one of my trashy old-world novels,” she muttered. “I want to live with you, but more than anything, I want to live…” She slumped.

Before I could say anything, she cut me off, “Please do not try to change my mind…” Because you might succeed, her eyes finished for her.

“Then I’ll stay with you,” I replied immediately, a grin on my face. Maybe this was my chance to make it big. Shut up, brain, not the time.

My heart sank when she frowned. “I… I don’t know, Silver. I would love nothing more than to spend the rest of my days with you, but I cannot bear the thought of robbing you of your freedom, of your dreams.” She gulped, unable to hold my gaze. “You… you were a great distraction from my duties, but I think it is time I turn the page.”

“Arawn…” I pleaded, but she didn’t turn to me. “Arawn, look at me.” She bit her lip and hesitated, but eventually did as asked. “No. I will not leave you behind.”

“But—”

“I know I’ve already told you, but I mean it. I’m willing to give up on my dreams if I can be with you.” As I stared into her eyes, I could only hope my determination showed in mine. Besides, my real dream was—No, not giving in to that thought. “I will bear the burden with you, no matter how you might change.”

I kissed her. Was this truly for the best? She was sacrificing her life just for a chance to extend it. Would living really be worth it if it meant losing your freedom? What right did I have to influence that choice? What right did I have to ask her to die for me?

I took a step back and attempted a smile.

“Silver, are you sure?”

I opened my mouth to affirm. Was I? Would I regret my choice? Could I really claim I understood what I was promising? I shook my head. “I’m not, but we no longer have the time for certainty. I only know that I don’t want to lose you. If this is the only way, then what choice do I really have?”

Then, it was her turn to kiss me. I leaned into it, and allowed the world to melt away for a short few seconds.

All too soon, Arawn pulled away with an apologetic little simper. “I think the best time to ascend would be now, since the Knights are ready. My father will try to stop me when he realises what I am doing, and we will need Aurora’s help to prevent him from interfering.”

I tilted my head. “How would he know?”

“He’ll know. Everypony in The Tower will know.”

I almost asked a stupid question, but then nodded and zipped off towards the estate’s entrance. I really hoped I hadn’t just made a huge mistake.

A11 — Burden

I idly tapped my hoof on the cold, hard floor as I waited in the middle of the empty throne room. How long ago had Silver left? How much longer till his return? Aurora could not have gone far.

Could something have happened to them? Unlikely, for the estate was the safest place in The Tower. My spell had yet to alert me, meaning that Father had yet to leave his room. Perhaps I could see him one last time, truly bid—

I tapped my hoof on the cold, hard floor. How difficult could it be to keep my thoughts occupied for a dozen or so minutes? Why were they taking so long? Perhaps they had lost their way in the Fell residence’s ever-shifting layout.

Even Aurora seemed to occasionally struggle with the estate’s whims. Few ponies understood it, fewer still could navigate it effortlessly: myself, the butler, and Father.

I winced. Stars above, how long would my mind insist on torturing me? I pushed the thought away.

How cruel could a daughter be? That I refused to even think of him spoke volumes of me, did it not?

I grimaced. No… I just… What good would it do to dwell upon it? I wanted to bid him goodbye, but with my ascension, he would miss the opportunity to read the letter I had left on my desk, as cruel a farewell as it may be.

I could not tell him in person, for he would forbid, nay, prevent my departure if he knew of it, yet even this paled in comparison to the betrayal by my ascension. Not content with turning my back to him, I would oppose him. I had to.

“I’m sorry, Father,” I whispered, as if it would change anything at all. It would not. After this, he would be sealed away. His soul would rot away for the rest of eternity.

Perhaps we could outwait his fury; defend against his onslaught. Then, following my ascension, he and I could talk one final time. Yet the odds of him remaining sane frightened me. Each part of him, each copy that the Knights would kill, would only further erode his soul.

We would lose many ponies tonight to fend him off. A price we needed pay, but could not afford to double. We could not fight him again. Aurora would seal him after my ascension. She had to.

I knew this, yet the thought insisted on haunting me. I would seal away my father without even a goodbye.

Would Mother have done the same? Or did she know of a way to calm him? I glanced over at her statue, but it remained as silent as ever.

I was to ascend soon, but I knew so little, even of the ritual itself. I was terrified. I faced dozens, if not hundreds of unknowns, of potential ways everything could go wrong. Still, it was better than nearly certain death. It had to be.

At least I had Silver. Were I a better pony, I would have insisted he leave me behind, but I could not. I wanted him with me, even if it meant he would bear part of my burden.

S11 — Hesitation

Arawn stood on the dais, facing away from the throne. She, Aurora, and I shared one final look before Arawn started reciting something in that strange language that transcended reality itself. The two dozen knights, as well Aurora and I, spread out in all directions around the dais. For a paralysing long while, we stood there and waited.

A knight opened a pocket watch, and for a few moments, its quiet ticking joined Arawn’s arcane whispers. Nopony else spoke. Nopony else moved.

Somepony gulped. Somepony took a deep breath. Perhaps it was me.

The Tower began to rumble, and I whirled to look at Arawn, whose breath misted in front. Moments later, the wave of chill reached even us.

As the ground, walls, and ceiling continued to shake, the tension only grew. We stood there for seconds, minutes, or maybe hours. Some of us shuddered from the cold, while others exchanged nervous glances.

Then, the muffled, heavy flap of large wings reached the room. An instant later, the doors flew off their hinges, the massive marble shattering against the floor, as Viscount Gaunt burst into the room. He floated in front of the entrance, brow furrowed, half-open mouth frozen in a scowl. With each pony he laid eyes on, he only grew angrier and more confused.

His gaze landed on Arawn, then on Aurora. He froze. Any trace of confusion disappeared and he screamed, colour draining from his hide; within seconds, he was entirely grey. He drew his sword and charged at Aurora.

Her blade caught his, but she struggled to stop his momentum as she fiercely beat her wings. After a few paces, they came to a stop, bounced off of each other, only to again clash.

I almost took off to join her, but a glance from Steel—the knight closest to me—reminded me of the plan.

That Aurora could catch his blade at all bordered on a miracle, given his size. Her armour glowed with every blow she deflected, as did the runes etched onto her and viscount Gaunt’s swords. Without them, the steel would have long since shattered.

Her armour allowed her to hold on without the help of anypony, but could she beat him? Would he grow weaker once he split? If not…

I gulped. How much longer? How much longer till the shadows came? Focus, Silver. Don’t let him catch you unaware. I finally managed to tear my eyes away from their duel. How many would we have to fight? Seconds passed with nothing but their grunts and the sound of steel clashing filling the silence.

Was Arawn okay? I wanted to look over at her, but I fought off the urge.

A chill ran down my spine. What was I doing here? Arawn and I should have left The Tower hours ago. Why—

A pang of steel and a cry of pain echoed through the room. I spun around to see an exact copy of the viscount, standing over a prone knight mare. Her severed leg lay next to her as she attempted to back away from him. Three other knights surrounded the shadow viscount, and one intercepted his blow as he tried to finish off the prone mare.

Survival instincts kicked in, and I turned around to face the shadows. More and more clangs filled the room. A glint of metal in the dark. I flew back, barely dodging a swing aimed for my neck. I lifted my crossbow and shot, but the copy swerved, and the arrow pinged off its armour. Steel and another two knights encircled him, but he broke out with a flap of his powerful wings and charged at me.

I ducked under his blade. I could have slashed at his armour, but that would only hurt me. I rolled to the side, away from his sword as he brought it down, slicing the space I had just occupied.

Before I could dive for his neck, he charged again. This time, I dodged upwards. I aimed my sword for the gap between his crinet and flanchard, but he whirled around too fast. If I could block it, I would have an opening; his movement was rough, almost animalistic. But I couldn’t. I flew higher, and he followed.

Our dance continued for Stars knew how long. He would swing, I would avoid it. What could I do? He was faster and stronger than the chimæra. I should have listened to Aurora. My blade or even bones would break if I tried to parry him.

Why was I here? I was a nopony, trying to fend off an Archknight. I’d insisted, and I would die here. I’d worried so much about Arawn’s safety, and then I’d thrown my life away.

Focus, you idiot! Our rhythm had grown repetitive, but that was no excuse to get distracted! At this rate, I would tire myself out before I even landed a single blow.

And yet I wasn’t even winded. In fact, I was cold. My wings effortlessly kept up with the strain, and I barely felt my heart beat. Not even my lungs burned. On the defensive, I could hold out. I thought I needed to pace myself, but maybe I could afford an offensive.

I let more magic flow into my wings.

Immediately after avoiding a horizontal swing, I dove for his helmet, aiming for the slits in his visor, which forced him to counterattack.

I left his reach with a strong flap and flew over him with another. His muscles strained to stop his blade’s momentum, while I lunged at his back. Another pre-emptive swing, followed by another easy dodge.

I was grinning, even as I began panting. I kept up the cycle, diving for a reckless attack that would normally easily be punished, only to elude his riposte. Gradually, his counters grew slower, my margins thicker, until eventually I plunged my sword between the plates on his neck. Instead of bleeding, his body burst into a cloud of shadow.

Catching my breath, I took a moment to watch the battlefield. A dozen knights lay still on the ground in large puddles of crimson, while half of the remaining ones trailed blood wherever the battle took them. I had caused this. If Arawn and I had left, the battle would have gone differently. The Knights would only have needed to stop the viscount from leaving the estate.

Occasionally, a group would manage to destroy a copy, only for another to step out of the shadows a minute later. Would this even be worth it? Would Arawn be able to fix everything? The Knights had lost so many.

No! I had to stop wasting time with these stupid thoughts!

How could we deal with the copies? There had to be a limit to how many he could make. There were a lot fewer of them than before. That had to mean something. What if we took out the original? Was there even an original?

I quickly found Aurora hovering over the dais, staring wide-eyed at me, her mouth half-ajar. The clouds of mist in front of her muzzle weren’t as big or frequent as mine, but she too was panting. At least she’d managed to defeat the copy without any injuries.

She shook herself out of it, nodded to me, and dove to help a group of knights, one of which had just been struck down. I considered doing the same, but I needed more time to catch my breath.

My eyes settled on Arawn, still reciting the spell while her whole body shivered. Ice was beginning to form on her robe and fur. Would she be okay? She had to be, she knew what she was doing!

I couldn’t simply abandon the knights, but I had to help her. I searched the room for a moment, counting four remaining copies. If I took out one, the knights could overpower the others.

I threw reason and caution to the wind, took a deep breath, and started pushing as much magic as my arteries would allow into my wings. My head started spinning.

With a single flap, I crossed the twenty paces separating me from the nearest copy, and rammed my sword straight into his chest, through his armour. The crack of a whip echoed. I tried to pull out the blade, but the peytral held it in place. What should I do, how should I—

The body vaporised. I bolted. Each beat of my wings sent fire through my veins, as if somepony had covered them hundreds of times and doused them in distilled alcohol.

I didn’t know how I could even help her, but I had to try something. Anything.

I didn’t stop. My head spun, my lungs burned, and my wings were numb. I didn’t stop. Not until I landed next to Arawn, an eternity later.

More ice. Stars, could she do this? She kept whispering the strange words, her eyes barely open. What would happen if she failed the ritual?

I stood next to her, wrapped my right wing over her, and pressed my body against hers. Her skin was colder than ice, but I gritted my teeth and endured. At least it dulled the pain in my wing.

I worked up the courage to watch the battlefield.

With Aurora by their side, and against fewer enemies, the knights were slowly starting to outpace the copies’ ability to appear. Each destroyed clone gave the knights a moment to rest and to regroup. I sighed. It was over. We had won.

Yet Arawn was so cold. Soon, I too started shivering, my wing growing number with every moment. Arawn’s breathing had slowed so much.

Please, Stars, Moon, Sun, save her. She couldn’t die here. Not after everything. The knights would soon finish off the last of the viscount’s copies. Only a few more minutes, and everything would be fine.

Had she known this would be so dangerous? My vision was growing blurry, dark edges encroaching. I pressed my eyes shut, and forced them open. I couldn’t lose here. I couldn’t.

I couldn’t feel Arawn breathing anymore. I was simply numb, and she was alright. She had to be.

Everything stopped shaking. I could no longer muster the strength to smile, let alone shiver. Or maybe I just didn’t feel it anymore. Arawn still wasn’t moving. Slowly, everything stopped mattering. If she was alive, then I’d recover too. If she wasn’t, then I didn’t want to.

Somewhere far away, somepony shouted something, but I didn’t care. I had to keep Arawn warm, or she wouldn’t survive. I had to. She had to.

Somepony was pushing me away, and it took all my efforts to focus on who it was, and what she was saying. “Silver, you need to leave, now! You’ll die if you stay here.”

The floor was rumbling, sinking. It didn’t matter.

“What’s done is done! Move!” she screamed at me. “Go!”

To satisfy her, I tried to move, but something was holding me back. Something tied around my torso. What was it? Oh, it was just my wing.

I couldn’t feel my wing.

Aurora screamed something to somepony.

Again, I tried to yank it off of Arawn, but the layer of ice held firm. I closed my eyes. Maybe it would thaw after a nap.

No. Focus, Silver. I could use magic to thaw it. I had to.

I’d never been good at weather magic, but this was foal’s play.

Yet the magic inside me refused to budge. Refused to reach my frozen wing. I lifted my other wing. At least it still worked.

With a flap, I sent a warm wind over my frozen feathers. It wasn’t fast enough.

Sweet Stars, it wasn’t fast enough! I pulled again, at a different angle, but nothing worked. Nothing worked. Nothing worked!

The floor gave a lurch, dropping several paces.

My wing came free, and I fell to my side. I breathed out, and tried to stand up, but my legs refused to lift me. I kept falling to my left.

Why was this so hard?

I looked at Aurora as she sheathed her sword and detached it from her shoe. What had she needed her sword for? Shouldn’t she help me—

I screamed. It couldn’t be. She couldn’t have. She wouldn’t have. She shouldn’t have.

Yet there it was: my severed wing, stuck to Arawn’s frozen, unmoving body.

Somepony lifted me. Why? Why save me? I didn’t want to live like this.

I tried to scream, but no sound came out. Everything was dull. Nothing mattered. The world was fading to black, and I only hoped it would stay like that. My wing was gone. Arawn was gone.

She and I would have tea with Luna soon.

S12 — The Punishment, Yours

I was flying through the sky, fresh currents caressing my primaries as the sun kissed my back.

Soon, a dark blue pegasus joined me, her long, light blue mane fluttering in the wind. When she noticed me staring, she offered a gentle smile.

She seemed familiar. Where had I seen her before? She was a friend, wasn’t she?

I flapped my wings twice, gaining some altitude. The mare followed, then flew ahead of me.

She’d hurt me as well, but I’d forgiven her.

No I hadn’t. She had hurt me. Why would I ever forgive her?

When she slowed down to fly alongside me, tears fell from her eyes, glistening in the evening sun.

“Why are you crying?”

She looked at me with a grimace, and opened her mouth. A moment later, she shook her head. “I will tell you tomorrow, all right? Let us enjoy our flight today.”

Why tomorrow? What would happen tomorrow? One look at her pleading face told me I was better off not thinking about it. Deep down, I knew she was right.

We flew on into the sunset.

I hobbled towards the throne room, down the cold white marble corridor, each step hurting like Hades. Two knights stood sentry near the door. Blacknight and Silverwing. I only remembered her name because of its similarity to mine. Silver was a pretty common name, after all.

The burning feeling in my missing wing returned. It made it impossible for me to stop thinking about my injury, constantly reminding me that I would never fly again. I needed a distraction.

But then, I was almost there anyway. A few dozen more steps, and I would have very different worries.

Arawn wanted to speak to me. News of her survival had been a huge relief, but I had a bad feeling about this. Why didn’t she come herself? She could have ordered a servant to inform her when I woke up.

Instead, she had me come by as soon as I could walk. I’d known she would change, but to think she wouldn’t even set aside the time to visit me while I recovered… It hurt.

Perhaps what worried me more was Aurora only calling her the Morrigan now. Then again, I refused to speak with Aurora, and only happened to overhear some of her conversations, so maybe I lacked context.

The knights nodded to me before pushing open the oversized door. I thanked them and finally stepped inside. Apart from a crate full of light crystals near the entrance, nothing had changed. Dim walls stretched dozens of paces upwards, bringing back awful memories.

In the centre sat Arawn on her throne, still as a statue; only her eyes, cold and sharp, moved to follow me.

“Arawn?” I knew the answer before I even opened my mouth.

The Morrigan shook her head.

Why?

She looked exactly like Arawn. “Greetings, Silverstring.” Even spoke in her voice. But her smile… Her polite, sympathetic smile drove a dagger through my heart. “Thou hast my sincerest condolences,” said the mare who so reminded me of my love. “As well as my apology for asking thee to make the trip with thine injuries.”

“Why aren’t you… you?”

Her smile twisted the dagger. “The belief that ponies change upon ascension is erroneous: they merely become the Morrigan.”

“Then Arawn…?”

“Is no longer among us. I am sorry for thy loss.” The words rang hollow. She didn’t care. She’d… she’d murdered Arawn, and she didn’t care!

She…

No. She really hadn’t. I had. I could have talked her out of ascension. I could have insisted on leaving.

I could have left without her, and never noticed she was gone.

“However, ’tis not the reason for thy summoning. Thy actions and words have saved The Tower, and for that, I must reward thee.”

I stared at her, unable to put together any sentence. Nothing meant anything. Arawn was gone. I should be sad. I should cry. I should scream. Yet nothing came. Not a thought, nor a feeling, came to fill the void in my heart.

“Thus, I offer thee a wish of sorts. A request thou canst make of me, which I shall fulfil to the best of mine ability.”

I just wanted Arawn back.

S13 — The Road I Dared Tread

I took a step back as Windslash deflected my sword, leaving me wide open. A lunge, and it would be over. Yet when it came, I already stood well outside her range. I took another step back, regained my footing, and counter-attacked. My sword connected, and she fell to her haunches, rubbing her shoulder.

“Ouch,” she muttered between pants. Even through her padding, a blow with the blunt edge of such a heavy sword hurt.

“Sorry.” I rubbed my crest. “I thought you’d have the time to dodge.”

“I tried, but my body just wouldn’t move fast enough.” She gulped, taking a few moments to catch her breath. “I simply can’t keep up with your insane stamina, Silverstring.”

I arched a brow. “Is that why you weren’t flying? I would’ve thought that flying is always worth it, even if it’s more taxing.”

Windslash shook her head. “It just, you know, felt unfair to use my wings when you… you know…”

My tail flicked, and I bristled. “So you’re going easy on me, just ’cause I can’t fly no more? First Clouded Moon, now you?” Why did everypony walk on bloody eggshells around me? At least Clouded had told me she’d go easy on me before we sparred.

She winced. “I… I guess. I’m sorry, I just thought it would be a sore spot for you, given what happened.”

“I’m fine!” I stomped my hooves. “I lost a bloody wing, so what‽ Should I just curl up and fucking cry, and hope some long-dead goddess takes pity on me and gives me back a wing?”

“I’m sorry, okay‽” she snapped. “I get it.” She muttered, “I was just trying to be nice.”

I opened my mouth to rebut, but sighed. “Sorry.” She relaxed after I offered her a neutral smile. “We still on for tomorrow?”

“Nah.” She rolled her shoulder before standing up. “Forgot to mention it earlier, but I’m gonna have a double shift.”

Bloody Hades. “Know if anypony else has the time to spar?”

“No, not tomorrow at least.” She forced an apologetic smile, which soon turned into a grimace. “We had a whole group of guards die on us yesterday, so we have to work extra to make up for the missing numbers.”

Ah, so nothing new in The Tower. “Alright. Tell everypony I said hi.”

She nodded, and the two of us parted ways. What now? Too early to sleep, but I had nothing to do. I groaned. Maybe I could find something to drink, just to kill a few hours?

When I realised I was rubbing the base of my neck, where my collar used to be, I jerked my hoof away. A bad habit I needed to drop. I turned around, headed for Aurora’s manor. Hopefully nopony had emptied the old wine stash yet.

With a final slice, I cut the last of the mushrooms. A long, whitish kind that I’d only eaten once or twice. While I’d done five, Amethyst had prepared nearly a dozen.

“You’re getting faster,” she said with a warm smile.

I shrugged, then pushed the sliced mushrooms into a pan. “I’m still a lot slower than you.”

“And I have nearly two centuries’ worth of experience on you.” She chuckled.

“You have me there.” I forced myself to laugh along, and to my surprise it almost sounded genuine. “What should I do next? After I’m done cleaning the workspace.”

She squinted for a moment. “Actually, I don’t think there’s anything else you can really help me with.”

“I could wash the floors, maybe?”

“Did that three days ago, and ever since the young mistress stopped drinking, the floors have a miraculous tendency to remain clean a lot longer.”

“What about the laundry?”

Another shake of her head. “There isn’t enough to justify heating water for.”

“Well, there has to be something I can help you with.” I was running out of chores. What did maids even do with their time?

“There’s a lot I could have you do, but then I would sit on my rump for the rest of the day. You’re a tremendous help, and I greatly appreciate your eagerness.” She gave me a gentle, wise smile. “In fact, without you, my increased workload would have bitten into my sleep.”

“But…?”

“But at the end of the day, this is not your job. Even though you stay in the servant quarters, you are a guest of the house. My honour prevents me from accepting more of your help.”

I nodded, keeping my complaints to myself as I left the kitchen. Well, back to exercise, then. I went to my room.

But what kind of exercise? I’d already gone for a run today, and I didn’t feel like lifting weights. Maybe I could do some stretches? They were horribly boring, though, and my mind would always wander.

I opened the door, walked over to my armour, and lifted my croupiere onto my back.

What I’d give to regain my flight.

I sighed and rolled my eyes before turning around and heading for the front entrance.

What a stupid thought. Of course having my wing back would solve my problems. I could fly to pass time, yeah, but that meant nothing compared to the real benefit: leaving this place and taking back my life.

After giving Amethyst a quick heads-up, I exited Aurora’s mansion and turned towards the passage leading to the lower levels. I wasn’t in the mood to meet any sarosians today.

I couldn’t get my wing back. That much was obvious. So I would really appreciate it if my mind could stop bloody bringing it up.

For a while, only the sound of my steps broke the silence as I walked down the small tunnel.

Maybe I could ask her to give me back a wing with her dark magic? It wasn’t too far-fetched, given her abilities. But it wouldn’t be as good as my other one. Or maybe it would be better. Even then, that might be a stupid idea. What if there was some other possibility that I hadn’t thought of yet? I couldn’t afford to waste this opportunity.

If I had only one wish, I had to make it count. Even if her magic could fully restore my wing, that would only put me back to square one. Possibly lower, if—

Oh great, I was thinking about that whole bloody ordeal again. Maybe I should figure it out once and for all? Then again, I was tired, and probably couldn’t think efficiently or clearly. This was a task best left for a fresh mind. In fact, I’d need to put aside an entire day to rack my brain for a solution.

I’d put it off for so many weeks, and here I was, procrastinating once again.

Then one more night wouldn’t make a difference, would it?

Whatever, I needed to clear my mind, but didn’t feel like working out. I could always pick up another book, even if they had a tendency to remind me of—

Maybe I could have a drink? Pass. Being drunk with no distractions only accentuated my mind’s ability to torture me. Then again… Why not find a nice pony to spend the night with? Serfs rarely refused free alcohol, and Aurora certainly didn’t need her stash anymore.

Did I really want to risk ending up like Aurora? I shook my head. It wasn’t the same. It just wasn’t. But was I really the kind of stallion to sleep around?

Only one way to find out.

The spider lost its balance as I cut off its last front leg, and my sword finally pierced its chitinous head. I let out a long breath, then wiped my sword, slid it into the scabbard hanging off my side, and unhooked the pins holding it to my shoe.

I took a moment to look around. I’d somehow ended up in the middle of a plaza, surrounded by tall, wide, sarosian-owned buildings. Through sheer luck, I’d been on my way back home when the spider had crawled out of that pocket. Otherwise, that thing probably would have slaughtered the first guard or two reckless enough to fight it. By the time they would have assembled enough of a force to deal with it, it would have killed multiple ponies.

To think that a pocket would open so high in The Tower… Arawn would have loved to investigate it.

I winced at the unwanted thought, then pressed my eyes shut for a few seconds. I’d heard from Amethyst that Aurora had warned ponies things would deteriorate before they improved. How close were we to the bottom of that curve?

Would I be able to help? Stupid question. Of course not. Not in my current state. I had lost anything and everything that made me useful when I lost my wing. I would just be a burden. That was the real reason why that mare didn’t want my help. She knew I was useless.

I had lost my wing for nothing. Not only had I been too stupid to realise the danger I was putting myself in, but I’d been naïve enough to think I could make a difference.

I’d deserved to lose this wing. I’d taken it for granted. I’d taken my whole life for granted, risking it left and right. Not out of a noble desire to help, but for the selfish reason of moving up in the world. I was no better than Halterdawn. He at least had the decency to not pretend to be more. He at least—

Sounds of metal shoes echoed throughout the plaza, and I found four guards staring at me. Three earth ponies and a unicorn. Freshly drafted from the serf population, no doubt. They stood there for a few seconds, before each sighing and relaxing in turn.

They’d barely received the basic training. The unicorn had already drawn her sword, but struggled to keep it afloat in her magic; one fell swoop and it would be knocked aside. One of the earth ponies wore her scabbard too high to quickly draw her sword. The rest hadn’t even reached for theirs, instead just staring.

Wide-eyed, the unicorn gulped. “Are there more of them?”

“Probably not, but stay on guard. I can show you the pocket it crawled out of.” I nodded towards a small street between buildings. “It’s pretty tight, so if another one tries to squeeze through, you can kill it before it does anything.”

“Please do,” she mumbled.

I turned down a small road. The pocket was well hidden. Probably had existed for a few days before anything actually pushed through. I’d only stumbled upon it by chance while fighting the spider.

“You’re Silverstring, right?” asked the only stallion in the group. “The pegasus who saved The Tower.”

I winced and didn’t turn around, hiding my expression. “I am. Why?”

“Well… I just wanted to say how much I appreciate it. I heard about you from my master, back before I was drafted, and she was really thankful to you as well.” He sounded so genuine that it hurt.

“Thanks.” I turned my head to him and forced a smile. This wasn’t about me.

The rest of the short trip passed in silence, and I soon split off from the group. Maybe I’d lost my wing for nothing, but in the end, I’d saved ponies with my other actions, right?

I sighed. I really needed to go for another run, didn’t I? Or maybe something else for a change? It was the most effective way to stop overthinking, but I still needed some variety. But then… my last attempt had resulted in me breaking down crying in a stranger's bed as my mind kept bringing up Arawn—

I shook my head, broke into a trot, then a canter, then a gallop. Running worked. Running worked best. Only running worked.

I rolled my eyes before turning them away from the forest surrounding us and giving Selena a flat look. “You know, it would be a lot easier to come up with conversation topics if you didn’t erase my memories every time I woke up. How many times have we had the same empty discussion in the past month?”

“I apologise.” She offered a sad smile, but tonight, it failed to pacify me.

“You’re my only remaining friend. I’d like to be able to remember you, you know?”

She grimaced. “And that is why you need to leave. A pony like me cannot be your only friend, and I am afraid you might never want to leave if you remember me.”

I laughed, but it lacked any bitterness, even to my surprise. “You would say that.” Maybe a year ago, I would have held this against her. Funny how things changed when you learned to know someone. “Will you at least tell me what you are? I mean, I figured out the whole Erebus bit a while ago.”

She blinked a few times. “What do you mean?”

“Come on. You don't need to play dumb. You scared me the first time you showed me your true form, but you ultimately tried to help, so I can't be mad at you.”

“Silver, what are you talking about? What does this have to do with me or Erebus?”

“So, wait…” I arched a brow. “You are not Erebus?”

Selena shook her head. “I have nothing to do with The Tower.” She shuddered. “In fact, if it were not for the ponies stuck inside, I would not want to ever come close to such a vile place.”

Now I shuddered. “Then… what is he? It?”

“It is the rightful owner of The Tower, but past that, I do not know. It has never shown itself to me, though it is likely beyond equine comprehension.”

I stared at her, eyes wide, and gulped. “What… what did it want from me?”

“I do not know. What did it tell you?”

“It told me about a secret exit, near the seal.”

“Ah. That would make sense. If I had to wager a guess, it wanted you out of The Tower. Perhaps it rightfully believed you leaving would prevent Arawn from ascending?” She shrugged. “Maybe it tried to trick you. Who knows?”

So maybe my choice wasn't entirely terrible. I shuddered again. Not thinking about this. Instead… “Then it begs the question… just who or what are you, Selena?” Somehow, I already knew the answer.

Selena hesitated only a short moment before replying.

I poked at the fried mushrooms with my fork. If The Tower had taught me anything, it was that many different types of mushrooms existed. Unfortunately, they all got old eventually.

In the corner of my eye, Aurora occasionally opened her mouth only to ultimately stay quiet. Good. I didn’t want to talk, and I wished she would stop trying to come up with something.

I turned to the mushroom broth to my right, but it was too hot to drink right now.

Aurora sighed. Damn it, I shouldn’t have stayed out so late. I could have had dinner with Amethyst. I’d figured eating alone for once would do me no harm. She and I had run out of conversation topics weeks ago, so it really wouldn’t make much of a difference, right?

Well, if I’d known that the alternative would have me eating with Aurora, I would have skipped dinner entirely. I would leave right now, but that would only cause more of a commotion. It would encourage her to try and mend bridges or whatever.

I didn’t want to forgive her. I didn’t even want to consider it.

She was the reason everything had gone so bloody wrong. If she had acted sooner, Shade would still be alive, and I would not have pushed as much for change. I wouldn’t have tried to escape, and I wouldn’t have tried to put Arawn in—

If Aurora had accepted my help when I first arrived here, we would have had more knights to confront the viscount. If she had helped the prisons more actively, the rebellion wouldn’t have taken root. If she had known more about the ritual, Arawn would still be herself, and—

She’d cut off my wing, too. I would never fly again, and it was her bloody fault. Because of her, I was condemned to live in a world without Arawn.

If—

“So, uh, how are you holding up, Silver?” Stars bloody damn it all.

Forcing myself to lose my scowl, I met her eyes. “I’m alright.” I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts. The more I said now, the shorter this conversation would be. “Getting better at grounded combat. I killed a monster the other day. Didn’t seek it out. I just happened to be there. Hopefully that isn’t a problem.”

Aurora shook her head. “I’ve heard of that, and so has… the Morrigan.” She tried to hide it, but her voice betrayed a little sadness. “She doesn’t mind, since it was a one-off thing.” She drank some water. “Oh, and congrats. On the whole combat thing. It’s good to see you bouncing back.”

“Thanks.”

Silence fell again. Why was she trying to strike up a conversation with me? Didn’t she know I hated her guts?

Maybe I’d been sending the wrong signals, or she had mistaken my willingness to be in the same room as her as an offer of peace. That didn’t make sense. Why would she interpret it like that? I was hungry and didn’t want to make a scene or interrupt my meal.

I furrowed my brow. Two months ago, I would have done just that. Maybe even spat in her face on my way out. Yet here I was, forcing myself to give her polite replies.

I didn’t want to talk to her, but I didn’t hate her. Not anymore.

She had poured so much of herself into holding The Tower together. I’d heard from Amethyst. Aurora slept the bare minimum to function. For all her flaws, she was not an evil pony. She made many of her choices based on what she believed was right, even if she ultimately ended up in the wrong. I couldn’t hold those against her, and I knew it. I’d done the same, even if my choice had only ended two lives and ruined another.

How childish of me. I’d insisted on hating her just to avoid accepting my own mistakes.

Now, she was desperately grasping for an olive branch. I looked up at her. “I think this is the first time you’ve eaten in your own house since, you know…”

She nodded. “I finally have some time to recover, now that the Morrigan has taken over the political side of things.”

“So things are finally gonna go back to normal?” Maybe then, an idea for my wish would fall into my lap. I lifted my bowl and took a very slow, very careful sip.

Aurora winced, poking at her meagre portion. “Not really. Hopefully, our new plan will let us stabilise things, but life in The Tower won’t go back to what it was before for a long while.”

As I set down my broth, I raised an eyebrow. “How come?”

“I… I shouldn’t tell you.”

“I won’t get involved, if that’s what you’re worried about.” I was done trying to fix these ponies’ problems. They had a plan, and that would be good enough for me.

She stared at me for a few moments, as if to gauge me, before nodding. “She still needs to finish the ritual, but that takes time.”

I blinked, a ball growing heavier in the pit of my stomach. “The ritual wasn’t completed? Is that why everything is going to shit?” Was my one achievement for nothing?

Aurora nodded again. “The Morrigan said it was to be expected, that she needed to catch up on work that should have been done before the ceremony. She’s… vague about it, to say the least.”

“So you’ve been buying time.”

“Yep, but we ultimately decided this strategy would lead to fewer deaths than the previous one. I’ll be turning this haphazard militia full of poorly trained ponies into an organised military might and hold out for longer. Meanwhile, the Morrigan will be doing the same on the political side of things: keeping the nobles happy.” She sure was eager to talk about this. Not that I could blame her.

She rolled her eyes. “You wouldn’t believe how many of them don’t understand that everypony needs to give their all if we want to get through this, and that their house is part of everypony. Or how many of them need constant reassurances that we are doing everything in our power to fix things.” She made a gagging motion. “Sweet Moon, I hate nobles. I hate politics.”

“Sounds pretty optimistic, though.” I shrugged. Naïve was maybe the better word. “You’re already struggling to hold out. Do you really think restructuring your militia will allow you to keep going for, what, decades?”

Her sad smile told me I’d hit a sore spot. “Well, it’s worth a shot. Having me spread thin wasn’t working, so we might as well try something new. Besides, I expect most of the improvement to come from how we train recruits. So far, we really didn’t have the time.”

“That makes sense, I guess.” I scratched an itch on my neck. “Anything else?”

Aurora rubbed her chin before saying, “Yeah, a mare by the name of Bloodmoon—actually, I think you know her. Anyway, she reached out to me and offered to work with us. Apparently, she has a list of prisoners that are not only good fighters, but are willing to take our side.”

My ears shot up. “Bloodmoon?” I mouthed, slack-jawed. “Aurora, Bloodmoon can’t be trusted.”

“Oh, I know.” She rolled her eyes again. “Believe me, I know. The Morrigan has plans to keep her loyal, but I’m not fully convinced they’ll work. In either case, we need her strength now, and she knows she can’t stab us in the back just yet. I think of it like a debt. She might become an issue later on, but for now, we need her.”

I opened my mouth to retort only to shake my head. “If you say so.” Not my problem. Not my responsibility.

She finished her glass and let out a long breath. “By the way, have you thought about your wish at all? Don’t get me wrong, you’re welcome to stay under my roof as long as you’d like—the help you provide to Amethyst more than makes up for room and board. I’m just not sure if staying here any longer than necessary is good for you.”

I grimaced. “I know, I know. I’ll figure something out.”

“If you don’t have any ideas, you could ask her for a talisman that gives you a magical wing. You wouldn’t be as fast as you used to be, or as agile, but you’d get to fly again.”

“I’ll… keep it in mind.”

After that, we returned to silence, albeit much less awkward than before. It didn’t take long for me to finish my meal and excuse myself.

I was flying through the sky, fresh currents caressing my primaries as the sun kissed my back.

Soon, a dark blue pegasus joined me. Her long, light blue mane fluttered in the wind. When she noticed me staring, she offered a solemn smile.

She seemed familiar. Where had I seen her before? She was a friend, wasn’t she?

I flapped my wings twice, gaining some altitude. The mare followed, before flying ahead of me.

“Hey, Luna,” I nigh-shouted over the wind. “Time for our weekly chat again?” We talked more often than that, but I rarely kept track. Ever since she had revealed her true identity to me, conversation came a lot easier.

She nodded, heading for a cloud large enough to hold the two of us. When we landed, a cloud table holding a tea set had miraculously appeared on it.

“You really like your tea, huh, Princess?” She didn’t like to be called that, but she knew I used it only as a cynical nickname.

“An old habit I inherited from my sister.” The next time I blinked, we sat in a gazebo. “We sometimes had tea in the gardens at sunset or sunrise.” Heavy nostalgia weighed down her voice.

“Do you still miss her?” Stupid question, but I wanted to hear the answer. What had even happened to the Sun Princess? Stars, I couldn't even manage to think her name.

The saddest smile spread on her lips. “You would not believe how much.”

“Do you know what happened to her?”

Her ears wilted, and she looked away. “I died first.” Was she… ashamed?

I would ask about that later. “Could she still be alive?”

“I do not think so. I do not know how she would have survived. She might not be with me in the afterlife, but I doubt she lives on. Perhaps…” For a while, she watched her tea as if it held an answer. “If I watch over the dead, perhaps she watches over the living? It would only be fitting.”

I let her words sink in and took a sip of my mint tea. “What was she like?”

She opened her mouth, closed it again, before finally saying, “Difficult to describe. On the one hoof, she was the wisest mare anypony knew, including myself. On the other, she would play pranks on ponies when she found herself a little too bored. I woke up more than once with facial hair scribbled onto my face, and I have seen her trick ponies into overfilling her cup.”

Luna slowly shook her head, a distant smile on her lips. “She cared about everypony, and always seemed to know exactly what she was doing, but also when to delegate a difficult task to somepony else.”

I smiled. “Times were simpler, weren’t they?”

Luna snorted, then started laughing harder and harder, until she caught my raised eyebrow. “Oh no, they were not. Being a princess of Equestria was always hard work. Now, I merely watch over the dead and guide the dreams of a few dozen foals. I am as retired as I am dead.”

“Really? Arawn—” I winced. “She made it sound like the world was so much better back then.”

“In many ways, it was.” There was that sad smile again. “In many more, it was merely different.”

“How so?”

“Oh, it would take days, if not weeks or months, to list all the differences. There are the big ones, like how our years lasted a lot longer, not just around a hundred days.”

“Is it because your sister and you used to raise the Sun and Moon?” Arawn had taught me that, too. I fought to keep my heart from sinking. Not the time to think about her.

Luna nodded. “I was relieved that the two eventually found a balance, even if it took many generations.”

“That… that long? How were things during that time?”

“Chaotic. Sometimes, the Sun would stay on the same side of the world, burning the surface, while the other froze.”

“Wait a second.” I furrowed my brow as I stared at her. “You mean there’s another side of the world? Won’t ponies… fall off?”

Luna chuckled. “The world is round, Silver.”

I blinked three times. “Like a circle?”

She laughed, harder this time. “Like a sphere. I’m surprised you didn’t learn that during your stay in The Tower.”

“I… I’ll believe it when I see it.” I sat on my rump and crossed my forelegs. Did Ar—“Anyway, what was the Great Calamity like?” Good save, Silver.

“I do not know. It happened much too quickly for anypony to remember what set it off. Suddenly, there was poison everywhere, seeping into the earth, the air. Into magic itself.” She fought to keep her expression neutral, the corners of her mouth shaking. “I would rather not talk about it, if that is all right.”

“Oh…”

Silence fell over us. Quick, what other questions could I ask? Before my mind turned to Arawn again. No, not thinking about that. I had to stop dwelling on it. It was over. Nothing I could do anymore. Why was it suddenly so difficult to avoid the thought of her?

“And how are you feeling, Silver?”

“Doing well. Same as always.” I shrugged. “Training, cooking, and everything.” Oh, right! I hadn’t told her. “Actually, I have some good news. I kind of made up with Aurora.”

There was her sad, wise and gentle smile again. “As great as that is to hear, don’t you think it is time you left The Tower?”

“I know…” Try as I might, I couldn’t hold her gaze. “I just can’t figure out my one wish from the Morrigan.”

“It has nearly been three months already.” She sounded exactly like Mom when she scolded me. I gritted my teeth. “You need to cease putting it off, or you will never find your way out of The Tower.”

“I know, I know,” I nearly snapped. “I just… everything I come up with either has a deal-breaking flaw, or seems completely unreasonable. I just want to make it count, you know?”

Luna slowly nodded, eyes narrowed. “Do you know what I think? You do not actually want to leave. You are holding onto this place, because you know that once you accept her gift, you will never come back here.”

“She made that much very clear. She didn’t say it, but it’s obvious she just wants to get rid of me. Tie off the loose end.” So much for my promise, huh? She didn’t need me. Didn’t want me. She wasn’t Arawn. I shook my head; not going down that line of thought again. “But no. I have no reason to stay here, I just have nowhere to go until I come up with a wish that would work.”

“And you have had over two months to do that,” she stated, her look as flat as her voice. “I think you simply don’t want to accept that Arawn is gone.”

“Luna, that’s low.”

“I know,” she replied evenly, “but I need to spur you on somehow.”

“Fine!” I threw my front hooves in the air. “I’ll prove it. I’ll find something right now. Help me think of something.”

Luna smiled. “Good. Tell me about your previous ideas.”

What could I start with…? Maybe… “Before everything, I probably would have asked to get a strong letter of recommendation for the Hockney guard.” I scowled, gritting my teeth even harder. “But without my wing, I would be of no use to them. Even if I got a magical wing replacement, it wouldn’t be good enough.”

“I see.” Luna began pouring herself another cup. “However, you have gained a lot of muscle mass during your stay in The Tower, have you not? I am sure you could make up for your weaknesses if you keep training.”

“But…” My ears wilted as I stared at the cloud below us. “But I’d always be a weakling. I wouldn’t get as strong as an earth pony. I still struggle with balance, and it’s been two months!”

“Does that matter? You want to be a guard, then be a guard.” Her nonchalant tone made my blood boil. Was she playing some kind of game?

“You know I don’t just want to be a guard!” I banged my hooves on the table. “I want to be somepony! I’ll never climb without proper prowess.”

At my outburst, she raised an eyebrow. “Do you know what I think?” She gave me no time to reply. “I think you are overly pessimistic, and that your odds are actually quite good. In half a century, I believe you could reach a rank similar to Aurora’s, if maybe a little lower.”

I grimaced. Why was she giving me hope? I had nothing left, so why trick me into believing?

“But that is not enough, is it?” Luna asked in a tone that chilled my blood. “You have realised that even the ponies in charge cannot change the world by themselves.” She loured at me with cool, hard eyes. “It is why you have not asked for a wing replacement. You are not merely unsure of its feasibility, no, you do not want one. You like the excuse, don’t you?” I glared at her, but she didn’t stop. “That way, if you cannot climb the ranks, you can simply blame it on your disability.”

I gaped at her for several long seconds. “How dare you?” I mouthed. When had she become so cruel?

“I am sorry, Silver, but I am done coddling you. I am not going to allow you to rot in here just because you insist on running from your problems. Make a choice and leave.” She clenched her jaw, fighting back tears.

What did she know? “You act like you understand everything about me! Like I’m a puzzle for you to solve. Like I’m an innocent colt wrapped up in something I want no part in! Well, I’m not! I’m an awful, selfish stallion! You know the part of me I let everypony see. You only see me for how I want to be seen!” I slammed my hooves into the cloud table, cracking it.

“I talk big about caring about everypony and wanting to help, but none of that is true! I’m just an egocentric, arrogant idiot with delusions of grandeur!” Tears were running down my cheeks, but I didn’t care. “Ever since I got my grade at the Trial of Soulfire, I’ve been dreaming of marrying into nobility.

“I kept justifying it to myself by claiming it’s only to help other ponies! But that’s not true! It’s a lie I told myself. I don’t care about helping anypony, I just want to feel important!” I hit the table again, breaking it in half. “I’m a tiny, insignificant colt desperate to have somepony, anypony look up to me! To have ponies envy me and wish they were more like me!

“And you knew all of this already! So why, just why, do you insist on acting like I need to be saved‽ I deserve what happened to me. I made the selfish, greedy choice, and received justice!” I glared at her, met her harrowing, sad eyes.

“But it’s not enough,” I mumbled. “Arawn is gone because of me. I don’t deserve to ever see the outside again.”

I was bawling, but it was too late to stop. “The worst… the worst is that I knew this would happen,” I managed to push out between sobs. “I turned her down because I loved her, but was so bloody scared I would surrender to my selfish desires and use her as a means to an end.” I tried to say more, but my hiccups kept interrupting me.

I screamed into the night. I screamed until my lungs ran out of air, until my throat hurt.

I let myself drop and muttered, “I allowed it to happen, and I lost her because of it. If my hunger for power hadn’t tipped the scales, I would have convinced her to leave.”

Luna caught up to me and pulled me into a hug. As we fell, she pressed my head to her chest, stroking my mane, while I continued to weep.

Many æons later, she spread her wings, righted our trajectory, and levitated me atop her back. She landed on an island, lit only by the plants around us.

When she set me down, she whispered, “I know you won’t agree, but I don’t think you’re as horrible and selfish as you believe. You’ve made mistakes, yes, but I’ve heard you talk of improving ponies’ lives and saving them, and there is genuine passion in your voice.”

I opened my mouth, but she shut me up with one look.

“If you truly were only after your own gain, do you really think you would beat yourself up over it? Even if fame and power drive you, I think you genuinely do desire to help others.” As much as it hurt me, I couldn’t stop looking into her harrowed eyes.

“But…”

She put her hoof under my chin, forced me to look at her, and spoke up. “Silver, I know your heart is in the right place. Even if you crave power, as long as you remain honest with yourself, I do not think you will take the wrong path. You will make mistakes, but you will ultimately do what is right.”

One more time, I opened my mouth to contradict her, but instead sighed. “I still don’t know what to wish for from the Morrigan. If I’m supposed to truly come to terms with being a power-hungry stallion, then I need a good plan.”

“I do have an idea,” Luna said. “Ask her to take over some land.”

“What?”

Around us, the world began to grow hazy, quiet, distant.

“House Fell owns a considerable amount of land outside The Tower. All of it is covered in dense forest; it would be a major investment to begin using it.” Luna’s horn glowed, and the world snapped into sharpness, only to start dissolving again. “What’s more, they would need somepony to volunteer to take it over, and the sarosian families either aren’t trusted enough by outsiders, or do not want to deal with them.”

I stared at her, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. “And you think she will just accept?”

“I am quite positive. I will leave you to think about it, but it seems your dream is ending.”

Then, nothing.

A few hours later, I woke up, as tired as always, but with the memory of my dream clear as crystal in my mind.

S14 — Dawn

The Morrigan tapped her hoof on her throne as she contemplated my proposal. The noise echoed around the empty room, which somehow seemed even larger than when we had first entered it. New crystal lamps lined the walls, illuminating everything in a uniform, cold light.

“Then it is settled. Thou shalt receive five hundred golden bits and the deed to a large plot of land. Additionally, House Fell shall deliver upon thee one hundred golden bits yearly for the upcoming five decades. I shall have a scribe decree this deal, and thou shouldst be able to leave within the week.”

Her solemn, official smile drove a dagger into my heart. Arawn had worn it often, but I had never been its recipient. Behind it, she could hide anything from apathy, through anger, to despair.

Yet something was off. I had stared at that face enough to know even the smallest tells. “Your Highness, is everything alright?” Addressing her like this would never stop hurting, would it? Good thing it would soon be over.

She raised her brow, then relaxed back to her polite smile. “I suppose thou wouldst see it.” She sighed. “’Tis true that the gold will duly be missed in the years to come, though rest assured: my gift to thee shall not endanger House Fell. I even dare hope our alliance with thy shire will prove favourable.”

Of course. What had I even hoped for? That she was sad to see me go? After a few steps towards the exit, I turned around. “Before I go, let me ask something of you, Lady Morrigan.” Her ears perked up, brow high. “I beg your honesty: do you think I made the right choice? In staying here with Arawn.”

One last empty reassurance. Maybe it would mean something when it came from the mare who wore my beloved’s face.

She thought about it. “’Tis a matter of perspective. Whether thou hast taken the right decision dependeth solely on who thou askest. The sarosian families will be grateful to thee for generations, once thy name entereth the history books.” She took a few steps to the left of her throne.

“The prisoners, were they to understand the intricacies of the circumstances, would too be grateful to thee.” Would they? “Many would have lost their lives before the evacuation order. Few would have survived through it. As prisoners, they would have been the last to leave.”

Once again, she made her way to the other side. “Aurora and the Knights, too, owe thee a great deal. Many would have perished, hadst thou not fought by them.”

The Morrigan stopped, turning to face me. “Though these are all positives thou hast brought ponies, they are only a fragment of the answer thou seekest. Only thou canst decide whether thou hast taken the right path.”

My ears folded, I forced myself to meet her gaze and held in the urge to paw at the ground. “I know, but that’s exactly what I’m trying to figure out.” I looked up at her with a weak smile on my muzzle. “But you haven’t answered my question. What about your perspective?” Why had she avoided the question to begin with?

She frowned, looking at me with those sad, cold eyes. She dared pity me? Then again, how could I blame her? My question was basically a plea for pity. What had I expected? A magical answer that would wash all my regrets away?

“I believe that thou hast made a mistake.” My heart stopped. Sank. What? But how? Why? “The Tower was never intended to fall into mortal hooves. I understand that now. It is like a wound, desperately trying to heal. Our grasp on it keepeth it open. Keepeth it festering.”

Her eyes full of melancholy, she reminded me of Arawn. How often had I seen that look on her? Shut up, brain. “Then why hold on?” I pointed to the other side of the room, where I suspected the exit might open. “Evacuate everypony and let go.”

“I cannot. I would forsake the sarosian families. Outside, many would starve to death, while many others would be persecuted. They would not only lose their way of life, but their homes as well.”

I opened my mouth, but no rebuttal came to mind. I hadn’t even thought of that. Neither had Arawn. Or had she merely chosen to keep it from me?

“And that only considereth the living. If Erebus took over, it would enslave the souls of anypony bound to The Tower. I cannot allow that. I cannot abandon these ponies to such a fate.” The finality in her voice chilled my bones.

Still, she was awfully talkative today, in stark contrast with her show of power the previous time we’d spoken. She had not only listened to me, but she had given well-meaning suggestions. Now, she was actually answering my questions!

Thus, I risked another one. “In that case, why do you think I made the wrong choice? Isn’t it good that I spared ponies from such a fate?”

I tried to hold her blank stare, but immediately averted my eyes. I’d pushed it too far, hadn’t I? I’d lost an opportunity for some answers by asking the dumbest of questions.

“I suppose…” she started in a tone far from anger. She looked away, running a hoof along her dark hair. The motion drove a pike through my heart, but the pain was nothing compared to when she met my gaze with her sombre smile. “I suppose I wish for it to end, yet cannot do so myself. It is my duty to protect The Tower, and I will fight for it with everything I have.”

A silence stretched over us. Only the Stars knew how long I stared at her. She was beautiful, in every way Arawn had been. Only her eyes were colder, and so much sadder.

Before the reasonable part of me could protest how terrible of an idea this was, I said, “I’ve changed my mind. I want to stay here and serve you, however I can.” Whatever wisdom had survived my short coma screamed, but I ignored it. “I’m aware you want to get rid of me, and I’m ready to accept your refusal, but know that this is my truest wish.”

The Morrigan blinked. “Why…?” she whispered, slowly shaking her head.

“You remind me of Arawn. I know you aren’t her, but I cannot willingly leave behind the sadness in your eyes.” I bowed my head, my neck nearly horizontal. “I owe it to Arawn, to her sacrifice, and to myself.”

She stared at me, eyes wide. After a moment, she snapped out of it and shook her head with a lot more vigour. “No. Absolutely not.”

“Why not?” I shouted, louder than intended. “You said anything was fine, as long as it was within your power!” Damn it, Silver, calm down. Hadn’t I said I’d be alright with her decision?

“Anything away from The Tower.” She glared daggers at me, but there was something more in her eyes. “I thought that much was obvious.”

“But why‽” Damn it, calm down before you blow this, you bloody idiot.

“Because I do not want you to waste your life here. Leave,” she hissed. Despite the threatening edge to her voice, she sounded almost… sad?

“But why‽” I stomped a hoof, and it echoed throughout the empty throne room. “If it’s my life, then why shouldn’t I be allowed to waste it?”

“Because this has nothing to do with you, colt!” Magically amplified, her voice boomed throughout the throne room, loud enough to hurt my ears, but not enough to deter me.

“It does!” My heart hammered in my chest as I took a step forward. “You're not Arawn, but that doesn't matter! I still promised her!”

She backed away, but I followed. “Why won't you let me fulfil my vow‽”

Her hind leg bumped into her throne, she glanced back at it in near panic.

“You try to act like you are flawless, and have everything under control, but you don't! You don't have a grand plan, you don't have everything orchestrated!” What the fuck was I doing?

She shrank further back, opened her mouth, but I cut her off, “And yet you won’t let me help. Why‽”

“Because I love you!” she screamed.

It echoed off the walls. Her eyes grew wide. Her open mouth quivered.

What? What had she said that could possibly scare her this much?

I’d heard her words, but they made no sense. Why would she say that of all things?

Yet what else could she have said?

“What?” I whispered. It didn’t make any sense.

“Please,” she whimpered. “Please forget that.”

I stared at her, unable to tear my eyes away or close my mouth. “I… I can’t.”

Her heart broke. She fell to her haunches, staring at the ground, crying.

I took another step towards her. How I wanted to sit down in front of her, lift her chin and promise everything would be alright. I would have done so with Arawn.

But she wasn’t Arawn.

Then who in Luna’s name was she?

“Just who are you?” I finally managed to say.

She gulped. “I… I am not Arawn.”

“You’ve said that already…”

“And it is true.” She looked up at me, and in those beautiful red eyes, I saw no lie. The moment broke when she slumped her head. “But it is not the whole truth.”

I waited. Ten seconds, twenty, maybe a minute, maybe ten. When I opened my mouth to ask, she cut me off.

“I am not Arawn, but I carry far too many of her memories, far too many of her feelings.” She slammed the ground, before resting her head on her forelegs. “She should have waited. Damn it all, she should have waited! She should have waited and learned…”

When she started sobbing into her hooves, I finally dared to sit down to her right, extending my wing over her back.

Epilogue

The yard behind the west wing of the Hockney manor was as noisy as ever, the clang of steel from sparring recruits as well as the shouts of their instructor filling the air.

In contrast, the wing’s interior remained as quiet as ever. A group of younger trainee guards sat hunched over their books. Some of them occasionally whispered to each other, only to be hushed by their teacher.

Further down the hall, most offices either stood empty, or were occupied by a pony filling out paperwork.

In one of them, however, a pink-maned white unicorn endlessly paced. Pearflower occasionally bit her lip, clicked her tongue, sighed, or glanced at the clock, then at the note on her desk detailing her assignment. After several more minutes of this routine, she finally shook her head and walked towards her desk.

A few moments after she sat down, a knock sounded at the door. Her eyes shot wide, her muscles tensed, and she scrambled towards it. Pearflower took a deep breath, and her tail flicked before she pulled the door open, revealing a stallion clad in blue dark-steel armour.

Pearflower blinked, looking down at the pegasus in front of her. Despite the dark rings under his eyes, he wore an amiable smile. “Hello, Pearflower,” said Silverstring.

After holding her breath for a few more seconds, Pearflower relaxed. “Silver, what a surprise. Never thought I’d see you again, to be honest. Where have you been?” She furrowed her brow, mouth slightly ajar as she took another glance at his armour. “Wait a second, don’t tell me you’re here with House Fell.”

He chuckled. “I am.” Donning an amused, cocky grin, he raised an eyebrow. “Is that really such a surprise?”

Pearflower rolled her eyes. “Still as serious as ever, I see.” She shrugged. “I guess that explains why they put me in charge of making sure the viscount has a good stay for the negotiations.” She chortled. “I’m hardcore relieved to have you here. You know I’m not the best with words, so I was super-duper worried I would mess it up.”

“Yeah, I remember. You more than made up for it with volume, though. I don’t think poor Sapphire Edge’s ears have recovered.” With a laugh, he added, “Neither have mine, for that matter.”

Pearflower’s smile turned sheepish. “Heh, sorry.”

“Anyway, if we want to keep catching up, we should probably do so in a place that’s not in the middle of a hallway.” He shrugged. “Oh, and I have a long trip behind me, so it would be nice to get out of this suit.”

“Oh! Right.” She rubbed the back of her neck. “We should probably get the viscount to his quarters, too. Deeefinitely shouldn’t make him wait.” She gestured down the hallway. “I’m guessing he’s waiting in the entrance hall. Need to go past it anyway to reach the guest rooms. You’ll have your own as well, right next to his. Are there any other guards with you?”

Silverstring’s grin widened as he left Pearflower the space to exit the tiny office. “Just me and myself.”

As Pearflower locked the door, Silverstring took a few steps forward. When they both started walking, her eyes were drawn to his flank. In the twenty-one years since his disappearance, he had gained a lot of muscle. Without blushing, Pearflower averted her gaze. His face had lost its childlike fat, leaving behind a sharp jawline. While his remaining wing covered one of his flanchards, the runes engraved on the other side showed the real value of this armour set, and, indirectly, Silverstring’s importance.

Pearflower gasped, prompting Silverstring to turn his head and raise an eyebrow. “Your wing!” she cried. “What happened‽”

He replied with a rueful smile. “It’s a long story. We have a lot to catch up on.”

“I’m so sorry…” she muttered.

“It’s all right. I’ve learned to do without.”

For the next few minutes, they continued down the corridor in silence.

When they reached the empty entrance hall, Pearflower’s eyebrows furrowed and lifted. “I think we have a problem…” She quickly checked behind the pillars, as if a pony could hide behind them. She gulped. “Where’s the viscount?”

Yet as she met Silverstring’s eyes, he wore a smug, confident smile. “The viscount came alone.” Pearflower blinked. Silverstring chuckled. “Like I said, we have a lot to catch up on.”

Author's Note

Well, here we go.
Hopefully you enjoyed this story. I'll probably write a retrospective blog post either this week or the next.
Etyco, out

Prologue

Heavy silence hung over The Tower’s gargantuan, round throne room, empty save for two ponies facing each other. Arianrhod forced a smile, her eyes glistening with tears.

Gaunt looked away, at the white marble wall, at the central dais and its empty throne, at the floor before his hooves. Anywhere but his wife’s gaze. As long as he did not look up at her, as long as he did not meet her red eyes, none of this had to happen.

She reached out to brush his cheek, but still he could not look up. “My love,” he quietly pleaded, “thou needest not do this. ’Tis not too late to go back.”

Though her smile grew heavy, she held it. “I must, dear, for it is my duty.” Her voice shook with each word she forced out. “Mother would never allow me to abandon it, to abandon my birthright.” The corners of her lips quivered as she clenched her jaw.

Arianrhod leaned in for a kiss. It lasted only a brief moment, but it gave Gaunt one final look at his wife’s visage.

“Stay strong, dearest,” she whispered. “For I will need thee after the ritual.”

As she turned to stride towards the centre of the room, he whispered, “Please, don’t leave me.” He hoped she would hear him, but he did not want her to. He knew it might change her mind.

Author's Note

Hey, before you read the rest of the fic, I wanna beg you real quick for comments. I love all comments. Positive and negative (in fact, I love critique).
So, if you have anything at all to say, feel free ^^

Also, the old prologue can be found here as a bonus chapter.

A3 — Moonlit Reunion

There he was!

Silverstring sat at the edge of the cliff overlooking the serf village. Basking in the dim silvery light of a crystal formation overhead, he read. I took a few steps away from him, ensuring he would miss my sudden materialisation.

I called out, “Hey, there you are!”

His ears swivelled towards me, and he looked up from his book. As he turned to me, something gleamed around his neck. Perhaps jewellery? In this light, it blended into his coat’s colour. “You? What are ya doin’ here?” Though I had found his accent unpleasant at first, exposure had warmed my opinion of it.

I donned my best, most gentle smile as I approached him. “I, uh, I noticed you haven’t been to the library in almost a week, and I grew curious.”

“Wait, really?” His eyes wide and his mouth hanging open, he blinked a few times. Before I could confirm, he closed his mouth and said in a hesitant, quiet tone, “Kinda thought I was just botherin’ ya.”

I nodded, making his ears droop. “At first you were. I thought you were a noble, so I remained careful around you, nervous even.” I looked away, embarrassed by such a mistake. “One day, you disappeared. I asked around, then found out you’re apparently just a guard.”

Silver stared at me, brow furrowed, and mouth ajar and frozen in a frown.

In reality, he had left a few days after I had first seen him with Aurora. However, I found it easier to lie than bother with the truth.

Finally, Silver’s mind caught up to reality, and he burst out laughing. “Me, a noble?” he managed to say between fits of laughter. “How'd ya get that idea? I was born into a poor family of hunters.”

I huffed, warmth rushing to my cheeks. “You were well-dressed, and usually only nobles stay as guests in the estate.” His silver coat held a peculiar lustre that I had foolishly mistaken for a sign of extensive grooming and good health; it turned out to be naught more than natural sheen. His visage, with its delicacy, had fooled me into believing him gentle. “And your attitude radiated nonchalance usually seen in nobles.” In hindsight, his rudeness hailed not of condescendence, merely of a lack of manners.

He was no noble; silly of me to have thought so. Even aside from the dead giveaway of the serf collar around his neck, it was evident. Numerous scars, shallow and deep, long and short, new and old, peeked through the gaps in his garb. His lower neck, now bare, had previously been covered by his shirt’s collar. On closer inspection, only his face and upper neck remained rather immaculate.

Silver chuckled. “I mean, I know I’m pretty good looking, but I ain’t used to ponies downright starin’.”

I slowly nodded. Actually, his cheek had a small cut, albeit barely visible. No wonder it had slipped past me when he had sat on the other side of a lamp, back in the library.

Wait a second, what did he say?

“W-what? No, I’m just wondering how you managed to avoid getting scars on your face and neck and—”

Silver’s chuckle cut me off. “Relax, I figured it was somethin’ like that. You were kinda starin’ past me half the time.”

“Oh.” I let out an awkward giggle, cheeks heating up.

Silver tilted his head, still smiling. “Though I’ve gotta wonder, how’d my speech fool ya? I don’t exactly sound fancy. Or do I? I’m kinda used to how I talk.”

Forcing myself to relax, I shrugged. The motion came off more rigid than I would have liked, but my shoulders loosened up nonetheless. “Like I said, I thought you were just being rude. Besides, I’ve never heard an accent like yours before, so I thought that maybe it was normal for nobles from where you are.” Oh Stars, I was rambling.

He too shrugged before replying, “Dunno, it’s just the normal Spurringham accent. Don’t think I’ve ever talked to a noble from there.” Scratching at the ground, he pondered for a moment. “Actually, not sure Spurringham even has nobles, come to think of it.”

Now that I carefully listened to him, his accent had a certain rugged beauty to it. Though it was not the easiest to understand, nor did he put great care into diction, it nevertheless carried a pleasant rhythm. In particular, short u sounds tended to replace certain o’s. How his r’s rolled, too, broke the monotony of spoken Equish as I knew it.

After a moment of silence, his expression soured, and he muttered, “Probably for the best. Schemin’ bastards, the lot o’ them.” With a sigh, he turned away, staring at the town far beneath.

The words stung, but I remained quiet. Were he to look at me, he would no doubt see through my façade.

Thankfully, he did not: after a moment of silence, he said, “It’s why I was kicked out of the estate. It’s that scumbag Halterdawn. He sold me out by cuttin’ all ties with me. I went from bein’ a guest in the estate to bein’ stuck down here. I shoulda just let him die!”

His eyes popped wide, and he covered his muzzle with a hoof. “I… I don’t mean that. He’s a jerk, but he doesn’t deserve to die. I’m just… upset.”

The look on his face distracted me from my selfish concerns, and I gave him my best smile. “I would not hold it against you if you did mean it. He sounds like a truly awful pony. Frankly, ponies like him are why I avoid dealing with nobles.” Had I said too much? No, most likely not. Unless…

“I bloody hate it.” Now, he was pouting. Not that I could blame him, given everything he had gone through. “Why do awful ponies get the best lots in life? I’m here clawing my way to the top, and this asshole gets everything for free.” His anger went as quickly as it had come, and he sighed, grimacing in an attempt not to frown.

Silence stretched over the two of us. As tempting as it was to explain the reason for Halterdawn’s presence here, it would not make Silver feel any better.

Staring at the ground, I tried to will my mind to find something, anything to break this dreadful silence, yet the page remained blank.

My original plan had involved befriending this poor soul in hopes of learning from him. Who better to learn bravery from than a guard? Their strength hardly extraordinary, they still faced danger on the regular. In many ways, they were champions of courage.

A true friendship could hardly be built upon such a basis, but that detail had mattered little. However, I now wondered: perhaps I could legitimately befriend him. Given the difficult times ahead of him, he needed a companion. He needed somepony to talk to, and it would do me no harm to fill that role. Though I would not care to seduce him, I too could greatly benefit from even a single friendship.

How could I have been so blind? Of course he would make a good friend; he believed us equals. Even now, with the serf collar resting on his neck, he spoke to me entirely unaware of any barrier between us.

Though I struggled with the filter instilled into me from an early age, I could not deny the surprising comfort of such a casual environment. So inured was I to the judgement of my every word that a mere break from it enraptured me to the highest extent. And despite my trouble and oft aloof attitude, he kept returning to talk to me. I needed to grasp this opportunity.

Yet I would have to keep lying to him, or risk losing his friendship.

My heart sank. I would need to keep wearing this horrible—but so wonderfully warm—sweater, keep my mane tied in an uncomfortable bun, and keep casting glamours to hide those few key details of my appearance, such as the shape of my pupils. He had not noticed it during our first meeting, though only through a great deal of fortune.

Until he was ready to accept the truth, I would have to remain Book Keeper, the awkward earth pony librarian, even if it meant sustaining this guise forever.

With a sigh, I finally broke the silence. “I don’t know what to say. I am sorry to hear that, but I cannot think of a way to make you feel better. If you want to talk about it, I shall happily hear you out.” Yes, textbook friendship! Great work, me! I kept my enthusiasm to myself, most naturally.

Silver forced a smile, and I perished the absurd thought. “Thanks, but there ain’t much to say. I dunno if I should feel betrayed, or if I should just be mad at my terrible luck.” He sighed and shook his head.

After a few moments, his smile reached his eyes. “You know, it really does make me happy that ya came to see me. I really thought ya didn’t like me, so this warms my heart.”

I shared his smile. “I apologise for my awkwardness. I will try to be less distant from now on.” I furrowed my brow, pretending to think. “If I may ask one thing… would you mind keeping our encounters a secret? I am not supposed to leave the estate. They say it would cause unrest if word got out that an employee is allowed to live with the nobles.”

Eyes wide, Silver jumped to his hooves with a flap of his wings. “And ya still came out here just for me? Please don’t take risks like that!” I raised an eyebrow, and he flushed, his ears folding as he sat back down. “I mean, I’m flattered and all, but you don’t need to do that for my sake. I’ll be fine.”

I shook my head. “It is my choice. I wanted to see you. Besides, I have always dreamed of seeing the rest of The Tower. I know it is dangerous, and I know it is a silly dream, but I cannot help it.” I waited for my words to sink in, then added, “Would you mind showing me around? You are certainly strong enough.” Despite my best efforts to keep it still, my tail flicked nervously.

His eyes widened further and ears perked up. “Are ya sure? What if you get caught because of me?”

I shook my head. “I shall take the blame, claim you did not know.” If anything, this would keep him safe. If Father found that a guest had been seeing me in the estate, awful brutality would await Silver. Like this, Silver had an excuse.

“How are ya even out here? How did ya get past the guards? And why’s your coat colour different now? Was that just the light in the library? It looks a lot darker now.”

His questions assaulted my unprepared mind, and I found myself staring past him. What could I say? The truth? No. Part of the truth? Yes. But what?

“Miss Keeper?” he asked, slight worry seeping into his tone.

“An artefact!” I blurted, then covered my mouth as my ears folded back. Letting out the most awkward chuckle in aeons, I averted my gaze, unable to stop myself from blushing. “Sorry, I got lost in thought.” Why did I have to pick now of all times to lose any ability to tell a convincing lie?

I shook off the mist clouding my thoughts. “I have an ancient magic brush that allows me to change the colour of my coat. It would work on my mane as well, were it not so dark already.” Crisis averted. “As for how I made it here… Well, there are only guards in front of the estate during the day, when ponies might actually go through it. At night, nopony is allowed to come or leave, and the door is locked from inside.”

And during the day, I could simply follow a pony through the gate while invisible.

“So you’re breakin’ yet another bloody rule‽” Though his entire body tensed, he succeeded in remaining seated.

I rolled my eyes. “Yes, for I am tired of this gilded cage. I understand the risk I am taking, so please do not try to talk me out of it.”

He was going to object, but the stern look on my face convinced him otherwise. “Fine,” he grumbled. “I have another question anyway, about what you said. Ya mentioned day and night, and while that kinda makes sense, I don’t really get the point if most ponies here don’t see the sun anyway.”

A tiny smile crept its way onto my lips. “It is more about agreeing to have the same time convention, even if the outside world follows a different one.”

“I… see. I think I had another question, but I can’t remember what…”

Silence draped over us yet again. Try as I might, I found nothing of interest to bring up. He too remained deep in thought. Should I ask about his past, or would that open wounds that should stay closed for the time being? Perhaps I could inquire about his training regimen?

Oh, right. “If I may ask, Silver…” He raised an eyebrow, then nodded. “You said your family was poor, but somehow you were able to afford guard training.” Hopefully, the topic was safe.

“Got lucky.” I was relieved as he shone me a smile. “Got a 1.4 at the trial o’ Soulfire, and that made House Hockney take me in as a trainee guard.”

“That makes sense.” A 1.4 lay well below the average for nobles. Though for a commoner, such a score signified a few steps up on the social ladder.

Still, a 1.4 could only control a few of the ancient magical artefacts in the heart of the capital. Even Father, with his extraordinary score of 4.0, hadn’t been able to open the door to the castle. It—

Silver looked at me and said, “I remembered my question.”

I took a moment to catch my breath, my heart thundering for a few seconds. “Oh?” Was it another question about my means of remaining unseen? I needed to come up with solid excuses ahead of time. “What might it be?”

“I’ve been all around the Tower, including the mushroom farms. Back there, I saw something that weirded me out… Earth ponies working the fields. I never really thought about it, but usually earth ponies tend to do less physical work.” He averted his gaze and squinted at nothing. “Come to think of it, I can’t figure out the reason for it, one way or another.”

"How is it odd?" I asked before giving it any real thought.

In the brief moment it took him to come up with a reply, the pieces slid into place, and I understood the point of confusion. He had lived outside for a long time, perhaps even his whole life. “Nevermind, I know,” I told him. “It's got to do with the way ponies cast magic. You see…”

As I explained it to him, I grew more and more relaxed. The more I talked about theories, ancient and new, the easier words came to me. The mask I wore faded into the background, and I found myself smiling as I overwhelmed him with information.

I was pretending to be another pony, and yet it was so genuine. I was playing a pony more me than even my usual self.

I had made the right choice in befriending him, and it would only improve from now on.

Author's Note

I was trying to hint at Silver's accent in the previous chapters, but in hindsight, I kinda messed it up. I'll have to fix it when I have the time.

N2 — We, Here Tonight

I sat in my room, contemplating life while looking out over the now mostly empty brick road, ghastly in the dim, pale blue light. Even the gemlights in most flat-surfaced sandstone houses had gone dark. My roommate was sleeping. I should be doing the same, really, but this was one of those nights. Sleeping would make me feel better.

Deep down, I didn’t want that. I would never admit it to anypony, much less to myself. Really, what was there to admit? Why would I enjoy feeling bad?

Back in the prison, I would have sat at the edge of the cliff and sulked, despite the danger. Or perhaps because of it.

Up here, I had yet to find a good place to sulk. Perhaps I’d never find one. Perhaps I’d remain stuck sitting in a room with a total stranger. No. I’d been here for only a week. I’d eventually find a nice dark corner to brood in. I’d eventually find my friends again.

What if they didn’t like me anymore? Keeper and Silver had promised to come see me in the prison, but only showed up once after our first meeting. I’d hoped to stumble upon them in the serf layer, but it was all so big and so full of ponies. I hadn’t even seen Andesite yet, and he was big enough to stand out.

I sighed. I hated it here.

“Hey, asshole,” muttered my roommate, “if you’re gonna keep sighing every twenty seconds, can you go outside? Tryna sleep here.”

Oh, I guess she wasn’t asleep.

I sighed again, then made my way out of the room and down the stairs. On the bright side, maybe I would find a good spot if I took a stroll.

Once outside, I picked a random direction and started to walk before I even considered where to go. I had so many options, so many places to see. Too many.

I could head down, towards the prisons. That would certainly give me the privacy I so craved. However, none of the many dark corners felt cosy. Well, maybe there was a hidden gem, but it was hard to imagine. Something about those corridors was heavy and oppressive. Like most corridors in The Tower, come to think of it. Just worse.

The one time I’d wandered down there, I’d followed a thin, deserted tunnel, only to find myself in a room with four pony skeletons. Four serf skeletons. Three irons, and either a copper or a bronze. All four collars had lost their engravings to corrosion.

Some of their bones had been cleanly cut through. I shuddered. No, exploring the prison layer on a whim was decidedly not a good idea. Ever.

I could also stay around this level, but that might ruin my mood since everything piqued my curiosity. This region mostly consisted of farms, but had a few mines as well. I’d like to see a few of them, though that would come soon enough. The serf town lay near the centre of The Tower, underneath the Fell Estate, so coal deposits were very common.

On lower levels, these chunks of land near the core were owned by various less-than-wealthy families. Surprisingly, land became more valuable further away from the centre of The Tower, since the outskirts held iron and crystals, while the central axis only had coal.

Up here, most of the mines were owned by the Blackmoon Family and rented out to smaller, poorer families. Nopony wanted to have a proper prison this close to even the serf housing, much less the sarosian residences. Still, they were fine with individual, supervised groups of workers coming for a few hours every day.

It was fascinating. A week ago, I would have known none of that, but running errands for House Farrier taught me so many interesting tidbits of information. They specialised in logistics and helped with deals between families, so I saw many interesting things every day.

Huh. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.

Before I knew it, I found myself in front of the stairs leading to the sarosian layer. As a copper-collared serf, I was allowed access to the outermost residential area, as well as my House’s estate. The latter only while accompanied, of course. It was uncommon for a new recruit to receive a bronze collar, nevermind copper or higher, but it was necessary for the job they’d given me. Farrier needed somepony to run errands, and I just so happened to be available.

Well, they did ask the new wave of recruits about our skills and talents, and apparently being a good listener led to this kind of job. It had to do with a pony’s ability to follow instructions.

I started climbing the stairs. Even if the bureaucratic district was as boring and public as places came, there were spots up there that I had never seen. I wouldn’t get in trouble for this, would I? The guard at the foot of the stairs certainly didn’t mind me.

Once I reached the top, I almost continued through the tunnel. There was another path, wasn’t there? So far, I had ignored it due to time constraints, but it was rather dark. Perhaps even cosy.

My eyes took a while to adapt to the dim light, but after a few minutes, they spotted a familiar face. Keeper was walking with her head down, wearing an expression I was usually known for. As she went past, she ignored me.

I blinked. Had she even noticed me? I called out, “Miss Keeper!”

She turned her head. As she met my gaze, her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She blinked, then shook herself out of it. “Good evening, Nightshade.” Her tone was neutral; the kind of neutral a pony like me used when she hid her sadness. She nodded towards the direction she had come from and trotted up to me.

Once she was close enough, she slowed to a walk, and we continued together. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it?” I said. “I was beginning to think I might never see you or Mister Silver again.”

She winced, then shook her head. “Please do not call us that. I am younger than you, and he is barely three or four years older than me.”

That was a relief. “So, what have you been up to? Any shelves need reorganising?” I said with a chuckle. What did a librarian even do all day?

She let out a nervous giggle. “Yeah, and other, uh, librarian things.”

I dropped my smile and turned to look her in the eye. “Would you like to talk about it?”

She tried to run a hoof through her mane, only to find it tied up in a bun. She averted her gaze, forced out another laugh, and shook her head. “No, no, it is boring, you know. Nothing much to talk about.”

A few more moments passed before she met my eyes again. Within a second, her mask crumbled and her smile turned to a grimace. “You can tell, can’t you?” I nodded; Keeper sighed. “Very well. Let us first sit down; we are drawing near.”

We walked on in silence for another minute before sitting down near the edge of a cliff. Below, the servant town’s lights stood out in the darkness. I had to hold in my excitement. This whole area was perfect!

“So…” said Keeper. She kept her mouth open for a few more moments before sighing again.

“Did anything happen between you and Silver?”

Wide-eyed, she blinked at me, her ears perking up. “How did you know…? It is a big part of it.”

I smiled. “A hunch.”

Keeper took a deep breath. “To summarise, he and I had an argument. I…” She hesitated for a moment, thinking her next sentence through. “I lied to him. I had good reasons to, but I nevertheless regret it. I should have told him sooner, at the very least.”

I raised my brow. “I take it he found out?”

She grimaced, nodding. “Through a shady third party.” Her hoof slammed the ground, making me flinch.

As I recovered from my start, she gave me a smile. “I apologise; I did not mean to alarm, I am just… peeved. At the turn of events, and at myself.” Turning away, she sighed. “Then, he was injured and lost consciousness for three days.” She clenched her jaw, eyes glistening in the dim, blue light while her ears wilted. “All because of me.”

I replied to Keeper’s expectant gaze with a nod, silently encouraging her to continue.

“I saw him in the medical bay, earlier today. He is recovering well. I talked to him, apologised.” Her gentle face contorted into a grimace. “He did not accept it. Said he needed more time to come to terms with everything.”

She wasn’t telling the whole story. Nevertheless, I nodded. “Why do you think that is?” She must have had her mind running circles around her.

“I…” Her ears were now flat against her head. Poor thing. “I think he blames me for his injury.” She gulped. “Understandably so.”

I blinked. “How come? How did it even happen?” Did he get hurt defending her?

“He fought the chimæra. The one attacking the Duskbringer Prison.”

My eyes bulged. My tail flicked. “Sweet Moon, that is reckless.” I furrowed my brow. Silver indeed was the type to play hero, but why would Keeper be to blame? She would tell me soon. “I presume the monster left him for dead? Who found him?”

She shook her head. “He killed it. I was the one to stop his bleeding and bring him to the medical bay.”

I suspected a lie, given her frame, but her eyes betrayed none. “To me, it sounds like you saved his life.”

She slammed the ground hard enough for it to echo. “But I am the reason he was injured in the first place! I insisted on going with him. I distracted him. I…” Her chest heaved with each gentle sob, tears glistening as they fell.

I said nothing, letting my gaze drift over the landscape before me. After a few minutes, when her sobs quieted down, I whispered, “You really blame yourself, don’t you?”

She nodded. “I need to apologise for that as well. I was too ashamed to bring it up when I saw him. I merely babbled on, desperately trying to justify my lies and secrets, and…” Her mouth hung open for a few moments as she stared somewhere far behind me. “Sweet Stars, I think I forgot to even say sorry.”

I gave her my best, reassuring smile. “You definitely need to talk with him about it. Perhaps he blames you without realising it,” I said after a few moments.

She sighed, nodded. Silence fell over us again. It lasted for a few minutes before she broke it with another sigh. “Thanks. I needed that. I did not realise how much I was bottling up.”

“No problem. It’s what I do.” I shone her a smile. “Anything else on your mind?”

She opened her mouth to say no, but hesitated, then shook her head. “There is somepony else I hurt. I lashed out at her when I should have calmly talked things through.” She shook her head again. “But I have no desire nor need to talk about it. I do not think it would help.”

She gave me a genuine smile. “Instead I would like to talk about you.”

I blinked. “Me? But why?” The words escaped my muzzle before I could stop them.

“Because you are one of two ponies I consider my friends. You always look so sad, so distant. I want to know why. I want to be there for you, like you are for me. I read it is what friends are for.” Was she trying to trick me? Why would she trick me? Her ears folded. “I mean, uh, you don’t have to.”

“Sorry!” I nigh shouted, before covering my mouth and chuckling. What was I thinking? “I guess you’re right…” I bit my lip. “I just… There isn’t much to talk about, really. I’ve started working up here, and I have a decent position. So everything’s well.”

“But?” Had her eyes always been so sharp, so inquisitive? Had I merely never noticed them? They were such a deep red, so beautiful, too. What was a pony like her doing with a mere servant? A complete nopony.

Like me…

I gulped, my ears folding on their own accord. “But for some reason I’m still not happy.” I shook my head. “I don’t know.”

“Maybe it is because you are lonely?”

I almost snapped at her. If it hadn’t been for the complete absence of malice in her voice, I would have. Still, it stung, and my reply came out harsher than needed. “Please, I’ve always been lonely. I don’t know.”

Yet her smile remained gentle. It pissed me off. “What about your friend, what was his name… Andesite?”

“What about him‽” What did she want from me? If I kept answering like this, she’d leave me alone, wouldn’t she?

For an instant, her eyes betrayed the grief I’d caused her.

Why was I doing this? She was trying to be nice, and I was pushing her away. Enough was enough. “Sorry.” I broke eye contact as I gathered my thoughts. “I guess you have a point. I do miss Andesite, but I have no idea where to find him.”

“Well, what have you tried?” She put on a brittle, gentle smile.

“I… uh, nothing? I don’t know.” Why was it so easy to talk about other ponies’ problems, but when it came to me, I always ended up on the back hoof? “I haven’t really had the time, you know. I’ve been here a week.”

I took a deep breath and looked out over the vast emptiness below. Feelings raced in my mind, faster than I could keep up. I grimaced, not knowing why. I wanted to say so many things, yet none of them made sense to me.

“Shade? Are you all right?”

“I don’t know, okay!” Keeper shrank back. I frowned. “I’m… I’m sorry. I’m just bad at this. I don’t know what’s going on inside my head.” How could I put into words what hardly even made sense as thoughts?

Oh great, and now I was crying. What the fuck, Shade?

Forelegs wrapped around my withers and pulled me in. For less than a second, I resisted it. My whole body relaxed into the embrace. “I have to admit,” I murmured, “I was not expecting a hug. It’s just so… out of nowhere.”

“Well, it is what they do in books, and it has so far worked well at cheering up Silver.” She chuckled.

I laughed. Thank the Stars I hadn’t let my first impression cloud my judgement. Keeper was an amazing young mare, and I was glad to have her as my friend. “Did you get everything you know about friendship from books?”

“Uh… kind of?” At least she had the self-awareness to sound sheepish.

“Hey,” said Andesite as he sat next to me. He’d wanted to meet somewhere open and brightly lit, and the plaza in the centre of the serf quarters was ideal.

“Hey yourself,” I replied with the most genuine smile I had worn in years. Thanks to Keeper, I’d finally worked up the courage to talk to Andesite again.

Andesite nodded, looking out over the plaza.

I followed his gaze over the crowds of ponies. “Quite lively today, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“I wonder if there’s gonna be a big feast or something. I know Farrier’s not involved, otherwise I’d be swimming in work. And judging by the fact you’re also free today, I’m assuming it’s not Redcroup either.”

He shook his head.

We fell quiet for a few moments.

“Hey An,” I said, “is there something bothering you?”

“No, I’m fine.” His voice failed to convince me.

“We’re best friends. We haven’t seen each other in a while, but I can still tell if something’s wrong.”

He opened his mouth, but ended up staring at the ground. “It’s… it’s stupid.”

“You can tell me, like you always have. You know I won’t make fun of you. Is it about a filly? Or a colt?” I put a teasing edge to my voice in an effort to alleviate the tension.

Andesite grimaced, then let out a resigned sigh. “Fine. It’s about you. Your collar, to be exact.”

I touched a hoof to it, returning him a quizzical look.

“When we stumbled into each other in the market, I couldn’t believe it. I thought I was happy. Instead… I’m jealous.” He lifted his chin to show off his tin collar. “We have the same job, you and I. Deliver messages, carry things, run errands.”

He gulped, tears pooling in his eyes. “For three years I had to run around in the serf layer, trying to be as productive as possible, just to get out of my iron collar. Over three hundred days of not being able to leave this bloody town. Three hundred days of having to endure whatever my supervisors wanted from me. Always without a single complaint.” He hung his head low and muttered, “And I’m still not out of the woods.”

Tears began to stream down his cheeks. He looked me in the eye and, in a tone so venomous it froze my blood, he said, “Then you show up wearing a damned copper collar.”

My heart stopped. I swallowed. “I swear… I didn’t do anything special.” The muscles in my cheeks ached as I forced a smile. “I was just lucky.” Redcroup was bigger than Farrier. They had a tiered team of errand runners. Farrier only had five of us, and they needed us near their estate from time to time, where bronze and below weren’t allowed.

In an instant, the venom gave way to dejection. “I know. And I was unlucky.” He sniffed. “That’s exactly why it hurts so much, you know? I didn’t do anything wrong.” He gave me a pained smile, face soaked with tears. “I was just born wrong. Born having to prove I’m just as capable as everypony around me.”

Part of me wanted to mention Silver; how he had started out with a platinum collar. It wouldn’t help, though.

I leaned in to hug him, but he pulled away. “I can’t, I’m sorry.” When he looked at me again, his face bore only pain.

I swallowed. Nodded. Smiled. “That’s all right. I’ll wait for you as long as I have to.”

He shook his head, a terrifying sadness in his eyes. “It’s not just that…” He grimaced, hardly able to meet my gaze. “I thought it was, but the more we talk, the more I’m realising how much I was lying to myself.”

“What? Why?” I knew why. I knew exactly why.

“I think I’ve realised it over the four years I’ve been here. When your mom killed my parents, I stuck with you, even if everypony else left. I kept telling myself it wasn’t your fault. That nothing you could have done would have changed the outcome.” He gulped. “And I know it’s true. I know it’s not your fault.”

He looked away and muttered, “Yet I resented you for it. I remained your friend out of pity, but never admitted it to myself until now. Whenever I was with you, I was playing a role. I played a role for twenty years, Shade.” A horrible, relieved smile hung off his face. “I don’t know if I can keep going.”

“That’s… that’s okay.” I gave him the brightest, most gentle, most understanding smile I could muster. Tears ran down my cheeks.

I stood up, but Andesite reached out. “Wait, I’m not done.” What, did he want to hurt me more? I tried to pull my leg out of his grasp, but his pleading eyes relaxed my muscles. “I don’t hate you. Not anymore.” He swallowed. “I just don’t know if I can be your friend. But… but I promise I’ll figure it out. I just need some time to think. Okay?”

I nodded, before turning away and trotting off.

I sobbed in Keeper’s embrace like a young filly who’d just woken from a nightmare. Except this had really happened.

Keeper and Silver would never be able to replace Andesite, but for the long hour I spent in her embrace, I didn’t care.

I had lost my only friend. What was there left for me? Why was I still trying?

Keeper gently stroked my mane as my sobbing picked up again.

Author's Note

Boy, this chapter was a doozy to edit. Originally, it was 1.7 kilowords long, then it grew to 5.6k, then I cut out two scenes and placed them in a separate chapter.

N4 — Moving Tides as She Wept

I was sitting at the edge of a cliff, a chill breeze caressing my fur. It reminded me of where Arawn and I usually sat. It had been a few days since we’d last seen each other. Maybe even a week.

Steps echoed behind me. Silver? Arawn? No, somepony else. I turned around. “Oh, it’s you, Princess Luna.”

She nodded, as solemn as always. It was why I liked her so much. She understood the value in sadness, knew it was okay to not always be fun and laughter. Tonight, though… “You look sad, Princess.” More than usual.

Luna smiled. A smile so sorrowful, sad, and wistful that it infected me as well. I sniffled, tears welling in my eyes.

We sat there in beautiful silence, watching the starry night sky. I did not understand what had left her in such a state, but I did not need to. I would listen in due time. For now, I merely cried alongside her.

No sound to ruin the moment. Only Luna’s tears as they fell to the ground. Hours went by like this. Stars wandered across the sky, as did the moon, but the Sun never came up.

All too soon, perhaps a day, maybe an aeon later, she turned to me, whispered, “I am sorry, my child.”

For another eternity, she wept for me, and I wept too.

Finally, she took a deep breath, and I understood. For a moment briefest, I understood everything. “Farewell, my little pony. May all your dreams be sweet, from now until eternity.”

With that, she was gone.

I was sitting at the edge of a cliff, a chill breeze caressing my fur. It reminded me of where Arawn and I usually sat. It had been a few days since we’d last seen each other. Maybe even a week. I missed her.