Fallout Equestria: A Wastelander Tale

Fallout Equestria: A Wastelander Tale, Chapter Twenty Five

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I layed in Pharynx’s bed, feeling more satisfied than I ever had in my life. It had been a strange few hours as I played the role of an arrogant, cunning and cruel queen of changelings, but it really got him going. All while two other changelings recorded it all. It seemed that we were reenacting historical moments from the changeling history, but as porn. Low even had the role of different pony leaders from long forgotten civilizations, often tricked and cast down by the changeling queen.

The Duke was quite pleased with it all, and I had to admit that it was rather fun. Though the sex at the end of each seen was a bit awkward, but not all that bad.

After that, it was simple flesh on flesh. Pharynx clearly knew how to please a mare in ways I hadn’t known I could be. I hated to admit it, but Grizzly was right, and I did enjoy this.

At some point Low had left with one of the changelings, the bug turning into Low himself. I was not surprised in the least, and truthfully, was a bit curious.

But as I layed there, the sound of clicks and soft voices, along with a light caught my attention. Looking around, I saw a changeling sitting in a chair, watching a large terminal screen that had been obstructed by curtains before. Moving on the screen was… me.

Shocked and curious, I wobbled over to the lone changeling. There I was, on the screen, dressed as the queen and berating Shrimp. "Wow… I actually look good?"

“I worked hard getting your makeup just right. I wanted you to be at your best, lady Lotter. Now I'm editing the holo vid to make it all smooth.” the changeling meekly said.

The bug seemed strangely familiar to me, but I couldn't quite place my hoof on it.

“Can you explain to me, was this… all this, necessary?” I asked.

“Well… no. I don’t think so.” the changeling nervously admitted. “But Pharynx the fifth loves his movies, and loves seeing actors at play. We even have a collection of wartime movies that has a half changing actor in it, there's even a signed photo of the actor and Pharynx the first in our vault. Pharynx the Fifth says that such video's have the true spirit of a changeling, even when not played by changelings. Them being able to play roles alien to them, and convincing the audience it's true. He thinks making our own will help remind us of who we are. But I think he just has a fetish for fucking on Camira.”

He then pointed to several holotapes next to a terminal. “So far you're the tenth mare to be here for this. One of which is Miss Grizzly when she was younger and Pharynx the Fifth first took over. We can watch that if you're interested?"

I shook my head and looked up at the large screen. The scene started where Pharynx began mounting Low as I stood by. It was still awkward now, seeing it through a screen.

“I think seeing myself on that is weird enough for me. I would rather not see my old boss getting it one with another mare. Was it with another mare?” I told the changeling.

He nodded. "Technically, Grizzly and Pharynx were dating at the time, despite her engagement with Tripwire. I think he stayed in female form most of the time back then. The two have been on and off for years actually."

I tried to imagine it, but the idea of a female Pharynx and Grizzly was a major turnoff, causing me to shiver.

He nodded and pulled out a folder. “Fair enough, I prefer seeing you anyways. Oh and the Duke left me the documents you wanted. Said it was a fair trade all considered.”

Taking the documents, I looked at them, knowing I couldn't read what was inside. "I have a question. Why let me have this? Didn't the duke have a deal with Tripwire? "

"He had a debt to the Duke. Now paid in full. But we're not going to just stay ignorant to his plans. Our kind will play along so long as it suits us, and not for the whims of a wannabe dictator. Or so what the Duke has told us. I mean, we have one queen, and nothing can replace her." He explained.

“That’s good to know, with what Tripwire is planning and all.” I said to him, “By the way, where is Pharynx?”

I could swear the bug somehow rolled his eyes despite having no pupils. “Picking a mare, as his right to have one of his own from the tribute.” He then looked at me, and I was certain I knew him from somewhere. “I’m glad you're not here for that, as I know the Duke would have chosen you to incubate his young.”

Letting out a sigh, and knowing I was not going to like the answer, I asked the big question. “Okay, what exactly are those mares doing?”

“Right, it’s not necessary for you to know, for our safety I think.” He said calmly, then explained. “From what I know how we should work, our queen would implant fertile eggs into our females and the males would fertilize them. But because we have no queen, or substitute female, that's impossible. But, though it may be a mutation, our females can implanted an egg into another creature and have it be fertile. Don’t ask how my ancestors figured it out, it's not a good story, but now we do our best to have a good relationship with Ursa's Rest for access to willing hosts. Though it also has the chance of producing cross breeds if the host's own egg gets fertilized. This is why the Red Light mares have been chosen for this, as they either know their cycle, or are on contraceptives. It also helps that one of Grizzly's ancestors is Pharynx the second."

"Seriously?" I blurted out.

He nodded again. "Something about stopping her ancestors and ours from wiping each other out."

“Wow… heavy stuff.” was all I could say as I really tried to not think about how this practice started. I mean it could have something more innocent, but I had a feeling that it was likely anything but. Still, the fact they have volunteers for this was a bit heart warming. Ponies helping another creature to further exist.

I was also suspecting something from this changeling as well. As though he was looking at me all too softly. “Hmmm… I think you want to take me like that.” I said with suspicion in my voice.

The bug actually blushed, somehow “I ahh… no... well maybe... But I would never do that Lady Lottery. I mean, I don’t have a partner over here to do that with.”

That was it, he called me Lady Lottery. I only knew one pony that called me that. “Shrimp… is that you?”

The changeling fell out of his chair in surprise. “H… how!?”

I sighed. “You're the only one who calls me Lady. Most others just called me bitch, ho, or the occasional Mistress.”

Shrimp collected himself and returned to his seat. With a flash of green flame, he turned into a lanky orange stallion with a pail green mane. This was the form I knew Shrimp as. “S… sorry for deceiving you.”

Rolling my eyes I reached out and pulled him into me, looking up at the screen. On it I was getting fucked by both Pharynx and Low, the lighting for it was just right. “Don’t apologize. Out of all the stallions that spent money to be with me, you were at least the most decent. I mean, you at least washed yourself before seeing me.”

“Ya, It’s not as fun when your partner is dirty like that.” He said in a knowing tone. “Anyways, I felt that you had it rough enough, so the least I could do was help you in the best way I could.”

“So I’m guessing you were following me… because of Tripwire?” I asked.

He nodded. “Pharynx never trusted him, and when he vanished off the map, we were assigned to follow any of his last known contacts. It was a nice change for me, not having to keep an eye on raiders as a raider anymore. But the more I watched you, the more I… I don’t know.”

I smiled and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “Thanks for caring about me. And you did help me, in your own little way. Pathetic as it was.”

Shrimp looked away, and up at the porn of me, clearly having enjoyed that little dig at him. “So… about the document. You want me to explain it for you?” he asked.

I was unsure, as I didn’t plan on going any further then I was now, but my curiosity took hold of me. “Pleas do.”

Shrimp then passed me a photo. On it was Onyx, and next to her was Bandsaw. "Just to let you know, if you, or anypony chooses to follow the leads in the document, you're dealing with some mean mares. From what our spies have found, Onyx is filtering out raiders that can be retrained, from those who are too far gone. Right now, her base of operations is quite literally a massive raider den. It'll take an army to clear them out, or some real crazy ponies."

Looking at the photo of Onyx, the memory of what she did to me came flooding back. But I managed to contain myself.

"She's been getting help from several raider bosses and Balefire Fiend agents." He then pointed at the image of Bandsaw. "Among the most active and elusive is the Balefire Fiend agent Bandsaw, who's been very active for the last month bringing in all the smaller raider tribes and clans. We suspect that the Fiends are planning on backstabbing Tripwire, as they're known to do, but it's unknown who would be worse in the long run."

That concerns me too, but it was not like it was my problem anymore.

A moan from the screen then caught my attention. On it I was riding Pharynx, letting out the very real moans of plaster "th… that's what I sound like." I said in embarrassment.

Shrimp smiled. “You have a very cute voice when you're not acting.”

Placing the photo into the folder I put it to the side. “Well… thanks I guess. But I think it’s time I should get going, now that this deal is done.”

Gently, Shrimp then held onto my hoof. “I know, and you don’t have to stay, but… well I want you to stick around, even if only for a little bit longer.”

My eyes wandered to the screen again, where I had been laid out on a bed leaking fluid as I breathed heavily. Maybe some alone time with Shrimp wasn't a bad idea. “Alright, but no crying in my lap.”

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Time had quickly passed with Shrimp, with him not needing to keep up his own act, so I got the full changeling experience. At some point it became a photo shoot, where Shrimp and I took several souvenir pictures of us together. Some innocent, others I would keep to myself.

Looking at the more provocative photos of myself, it being more porn than anything, I was sure of something now. I actually liked seeing myself like that, in fancy outfits and with a stallion. I mean, I looked good. Like the mares from the magazines… but having sex.

Wanting something far cleaner, something I could take home with me, Shrimp said he could arrange a more normal photo shoot, along with more decent dresses. It was enough to make me giddy, finally getting to actually be like the mares from the past.

Soon after I returned to the lounge, being served coffee and some snacks. Low yawn, seemingly less satisfied than I was. "You alright?" I asked him.

The Pegasus shrugged. "I'm fine, it's just… these ponies lack that spark, you know, a bit too willing to please."

I cocked my eyebrow. "I thought you love it when ponies kiss your hooves?"

"I do, I do. But there's also the thrill of getting a stallion wrapped around your hoof. Seeing them question themselves, and then giving into the truth of my beauty. Sometimes they're angry about it, other times sad, most commonly they are relieved and full of life." Low then rolled his eyes. "These ponies are just hungry. They're good, I mean damn good, but no real passion, just hunger. No giving back the love, just taking."

I sipped the bitter dark brown liquid. "I think I understand. I did feel drained after the Duke was done with me. Even a bit weird when he stopped pretending, and I was just getting pumped by a bi black bug-like pony. But Shrimp wasn’t bad, a lot more tender than Pharynx.”

“Wait, your regular is actually a changeling?” Low said in shock.

I nodded and passed him a few photos. “He's actually a bit cute when you get used to the bug part.”

Looking through the photos, Low then grinned as he pulled out for a closer look. “Probably helps when he has a big dick, I can even see a bulge in you.”

I quickly took the photos back, my face flushed with embarrassment. “So what if I asked him to do that, you can't have all the good fun. Anyways, where did you go with your doppelganger?”

Low then laughed. “To and orgy, fun times, sad you missed it." He said with another sigh. "Almost reminded me of back home."

"Ya… I rather not go into another sex pit." the last thing I needed was to accidentally get implanted with eggs or something. Sticking with Shrimp was good enough for me.

Taking another sip, and feeling some energy return to me, a heavy flop then hit the seat next to me as an exhausted Molo appeared. She took my coffee and finished it off herself, visibly cringing as it went down. "Fuck that’s bitter."

"What happened to you?" I asked her.

She gave a quiet laugh. "Joined the fun, I mean they offered. Some bitch thought she was better than me, and well, we made a competition out of it. Low can attest to that. But where were you?"

Now I sighed. "Private session with the Duke. I can explain later."

Low then laughed. “She's got photos.”

I shot him an annoyed glare, but Low didn’t care.

"Nice, that sounds really spicy. Can I see?" Molo asked.

With a defeated sight, I hoofed over the photos I had.

Molo licked her lips as she looked through them. “Now this is some good shit, I even love how you got freckles down there, really cute in a sexy way.” She said with a smile. but then dropped it, looking a bit more serious as she gave the photos back to me. "So did you get the information?"

I nodded and brought out the folder. "Sadly they only know where Onyx's location is."

Molo took the documents and quickly flipped through them with a stern look on her face. "Lots of annoyingly big words, some maps and photo's. Oh, that's some nasty raiders she's got herself. Smelters and Brain Nails we already know about, several small time groups, but the Smiles and the Murder Ballers. That's not good."

Molo then pulled out two photos that were clearly raider totems. One was of the pink smiling pony from the old posters, but one of her eyes were "X" put, and a bullseye in the other. The second raider totem was of some crude helmet, it having a spiked mohawk and inside it an angry looking ball of some sort.

Molo pointed at the smiling poster then explained. "The Smiles used to live in Fillydelphia, before Redeye got rid of them. They took a real shine to Ministry Mare Pinkie Pie. Something about fun fun fun. Simply put, they're all about chasing a high, and doing whatever they want. Unfortunately they really like to have fun together, and like to drag others along. Simply put, there are a large group of crazies who follow any pony willing to take them to the next party. Wildly unpredictable, and always stick to their group."

She then pointed at the Murder Ballers. "Also a Fillydelphia Raider gang that got kicked out by Redeye. They lived in the old buckball stadium, and still play the game too… though with more deadly gusto. Most of them are Buck addicts, the chem helping them bulk out, but also making them angry all the time. They are also, and unfortunately, extremely organized for raiders. From what I heard, they even gave Redeye's mercenaries a run for their caps, but in the end, Redeye won the game."

"They sound… terrifying." I said, trying to wrap my mind around the idea of organized raiders.

"Ya, it's not a good sign." Molo huffed, then pulled out the photos for the other readers. "Add the fire obsessed Smelters to the mix, and pad the numbers with smaller groups under the control of the Balefire Fiends and you have an army. An army who's not going to listen to anypony, but still an army."

I shook my head, remembering what I had learned from my time with Tripwire. "No, they will do as Tripwire says, he will make them. He mentioned using the mesmetron on raiders, reforming them for a greater purpose."

Molo then frowned "That sounds bad. If you can get raiders to be an effective fighting force, then you have ponies who can tear through most problems. All you need to do is see what Gwadina had done with the Shatter Hoof Raiders to get the idea."

Low then pointed at one photo, concern on his face. "Hey, that's not a raider symbol." The symbol itself was a strange "X" connected to a small circle in the middle, with three skulls in between the top and side arms and below was the letters "E.P.S."

It did look familiar to me.

"That's the Enclave Punitive Strikeforce." Low explained.

We both then looked at Low with great concern.

He then further explained. "Ya, a propeller with three skulls on the side and top, and the initials below. They're the ones who hunt down traitors and terrorists before they could harm the Enclave. Met them on a few occasions, after finding a rather seditious letter you see. They're no nonsense and rather scary, the kind of no fun ponies that I hate."

Molo clicked her tongue. "Well that rules out dropping rocks on them. If Onyx got flyers, it's going to make things really difficult."

"You're still planning on going?!" I asked, my voice filled with concern.

Her smile returned. "Yep. But clearly not alone, the Smelters are going to be on the lookout for me. But it shouldn't be hard to keep a low profile, as I was a raider after all."

"Well I don't like it. It's too dangerous, you shouldn't go." I told her.

She sneered at me. "Well it ain't your concern, Lottery."

"Still, you shouldn't go, it's a death trap!" I more sternly insisted.

"I know that, but I'm going anyway!" She said back, sounding annoyed. "Anyways, ain't you going home after this. And frankly, you should, I imagine your parents are worried sick about you. By Tartarus if I were you, I'd find myself a good honest stallion, and drag him home with me. Possibly getting knocked up along the way."

"Not many good or honest stallions out there." I grumbled, feeling confused by the change of topic.

Molo laughed at me. "You don't find good honest stallions in a brothel. You're more likely to just get knocked up, which works just as well, all things considered." She then smiled at Low. "Say, you wouldn't mind knocking her up."

Low looked nervous as he slowly shrugged. "Well if she wanted, but stallions are my thing."

Looking back at me, with a half smile half scowl. "There you go, bang the pretty colt, what do you say."

I glared at Molo as hard as I could. "I don't want to get pregnant, or sleep with my friend!"

She then gave a long sigh, speaking calmly. "Then don't tell me what to do. I ain't controlling your life, and you're not controlling mine. Lottery, I've been doing all this far longer than you. The abuse you've suffered, been there, the humiliation thrown on you, done that. But you have a family to return to, a real proper family. Just leave the wasteland behind, and never look back."

I felt myself figuratively deflate, unable to argue. It wasn't my fight anymore, I've done all I could do and more. I just needed to collect my prize and finally go home.

"All I wanted was an adventure." I whimpered out. "Find some dashing stallion, maybe some romance."

"There, there." Molo began patting me on the back. "At least you had some fun. Maybe not the story you can tell to your family, but I'm sure they're not going to care if you say nothing."

"Ya…" I said with a nod. "Not the fun I expected. Though it took awhile to stop crying about it."

She then poked me with her elbow. "That's the spirit. Say, we got until tomorrow, why don't we have some more fun. Heard that the locals got a small celebration planned, a bonfire, dancing, and other stuff later. Whoever brings in a good hunt gets to sit center stage."

I guessed it would help distract me. "Alright, and… Sorry for telling you not to go. I just didn't like the Idea of my friend getting hurt… or worse."

Molo laughed. "Been a long time since a pony gave two shits about me like that. Almost forgot how it felt. I guess I was just being a bitch about it." She then whispered into my ear. "Though you should grab yourself a stallion. A pretty and young mare like you, it should be easy."

I gently pushed her away, and told her. "I would rather not push my luck."

After we spent some time recovering, the day went on rather quickly. A bit of shopping, a little bit of hunting, and returning before night fell.

I don't know why, but I had decided to get some earrings that were just decorated screws. It was engraved with small wrenches, and polished to a brilliant shine. They weren't sexy, or all that pretty, but I found them cute, and more… me. It helped me feel less like a sex worker, and more like a pony that doesn't do that kind of stuff.

I also purchased some other accessories from the Duchy, nothing special, just some patches for sewing onto my clothes and such. I even finally replaced my junk saddlebag, getting a rather nice leather bag that counterbalances my holsters and ammo pouch.

Unfortunately my hunt wasn't that successful. Not enough time, and I didn't know the area well. Snagged a few geckos, but some older hunter dragged in a radigator. Oh how I would have loved to get my hooves on the hide of that massive lizard. But the Duchy gladly took my catch, adding it to the cooking pot.

As the sun began to set, the ponies of the Duchy started a bonfire. Many of them painted themselves with ritualistic markings. As I had contributed, I two got painted up, and even was given a checked dress. The dress was rather cute, and I was happy to hear that I could keep it.

The hero of the hunt got a place of honor as others performed a half play half dance of their history. Because I knew they were changelings, I could see the subtext of their story, as they disguise their shapeshifting powers as skilled acts of gile. They used their skill to drive early raiders and other mutant monsters from their home as they built their walls. The performance ended with some sort of fertility ritual, where the mares I had come here with were carted out, all beautifully dressed up and panted. It was clear that they will be treasured here for their stay, so I just stopped worrying about them.

It was rather fascinating to learn some of their history. It was even more interesting to see how they wove the idea of free love into their culture. They can freely love because they were ever vigilant of danger. Though I was sure the truth was that they only protected this area because they needed ponies to feed off of. Still it was a nice thought.

A cup was then levitated to me, held by Shrimp. "Enjoying yourself?" He asked.

I nodded. "You all clearly worked hard to make a safe place for yourselves." Taking the drink, I sipped it, finding it to be a warm and rather sweet alcohol.

"That we did." He said cheerfully. "And I hope things never change. Or at least not change while I live."

"Peace is good, though some change is good too." I said, breathing in the fumes of the drink. "What is this, it’s really good?"

He laughed. "It’s nectar wine, we only bring it out for occasions like this. It helps set the mood for the surrogate mothers."

I took another sip, its warmth flowing through me. "But why give it out to me?"

Shrimp chuckled as he sat down next to me. "It helps ponies relax, clears their minds, and the mild aphrodisiac gets them in the mood."

Now I looked at the drink, feeling a bit conflicted. It wouldn't have been my first aphrodisiac, something the Red Light would give me during my first week. But I was free from all that now.

"Oh well" I said with a sigh and sipped the drink again. "Pretty devious of your kind."

"It's what we do." Shrimp said with a chuckle. "Anyways, there's no harm done. Ponies enjoy themselves and we can just take in the love from the air."

He wasn't wrong. Most of the ponies looked to be enjoying themselves. Molo was dancing and Low was chatting up a rather good looking stallion. Everypony seems to have a smile on their face.

"It's nice. Just being able to forget your worries like this. Pretend that everything is fine, and pretend that horrible things aren't out there." I said listlessly.

"It helps keep ponies sane to pretend. Even the strongest steel beam will break if bent enough." Shrimp said to me, then sighed. “I actually wanted to bring you some nectar wine not long after I started watching you. It’s good for ponies that are troubled and conflicted, it helps them reorganize their thoughts. I was sure that if you had some, it would help you stop blaming yourself.”

I took another sip, feeling a lot more relaxed. “You think I was blaming myself?”

“It… just happens.” Shrimp said nervously. “I did for a time, after I started my duty as a scout. Had to blend in with the raiders, and so, acted like them. Did some bad stuff, and had even worse done to me.”

"How bad are we talking about?" I asked, feeling curious.

He laughed. "I poorly chose to impersonate a raider boss's favorite mare. Got the info I wanted, but let's just say it was through the kind BDMS play only crazy ponies would love. Had to take a month off to recover after that."

Shrimp then pointed to Molo as she danced by the bonfire. "She clearly knows this well too. So much fear and hate in her, yet she forces herself to smile. She must have come to understand that even though what happened to her was not her, it was also partly her fault at the same time. Through understanding that she is able to find some happiness for herself."

He then looked at me. "Your similar, though right now you hate and shame yourself more than you should. I just want you to be free from that."

“And you know all this, how?” I asked.

Shrimp looked over at a crowd of ponies, dancing to a drum beat. "When you spend your life observing others, copying them, you learn to understand them. Eventually you become able to see the trauma in a pony, even if it's from years back. Then you realize that by just living in the wasteland, that everypony becomes traumatized."

I then held myself closer. "And what do you see in me?"

He looked deeply into my eyes. "A few things. Guilt from not being able to save somepony. A slight fear from seeing something nightmarish. Then there’s how, even when you're close with others, your heart is still closed off, a clear sign of betrayal and self loathing. But most concerning was how you protect yourself through acquiring a more aggressive appetite."

"My… appetite?" I asked.

Shrimp nodded. "To be more clear, it's your sexual behavior. As you have experienced, the wasteland rarely gives a pony the time to properly recover. So in most cases, when a pony is raped, they simply have to just keep going on like nothing happened. The ones who break down often don't live long if they don't have support. Most just carry on, already hardened to the cruelty of the wasteland. But some ponies get aggressive, which can lead to some poor decisions."

I must have been the drink in me, as I didn't feel like shutting Shrimp down. I didn't want to talk about it, but I also wanted him to keep talking. "Like becoming a whore. That wasn't my choice," I said in a calm tone.

"On some level, yes." Shrimp said as he pulled out a photo of me, passing it to me. It was one of the more tasteful ones, no sex or suggestive poses, just us having a bit of fun. "You're clearly a good honest pony, not the kind to get into the sex business, even if its the best option for getting paid. But trauma will do that to a pony if left untreated. Weakens their resolve, twists their morals, and wrecks their self worth. For some it's a slow burn, others a quick descent into madness. Made worse if chems and booze are involved. Seen it with raiders, with how they destroy themselves just so that they don’t feel that pain again."

I raised an eyebrow at Shrimp, a bit concerned at what he was suggesting, yet still feeling calm. "You mean going raider, that I could be going crazy?"

He shook his head. "You're not quite the type. Well not for the quick descent at least, but it's there. Though you were pushed into the role of a prostitute, you were quite aggressive in taking clients once you got used to it."

That sounded right. "I was desperate to make money, to free myself, so of course I threw myself into it. Even if I wanted to puke, I did all sorts of things I'm not proud of. So what if I started dragging some clients to the private rooms, and doing what I wanted, it meant I was in charge. It meant I had control. I was held by a contract, what was I supposed to do, argue with Grizzly for a better deal… oh" I then downed the rest of the nectar wine.

Realization hit me like a wagon. What Grizzly had me do was wrong, but I had just let her do it. All that time wallowing in self pity and sucking dick, I could have done something else. Grizzly had offered me to take the odd jobs, even told me that it paid real well, though dangerous to do. But no, I took the easy and safe money, then let myself become some aggressive cocksleave.

Taking a deep breath, I then chucked. "Wow I'm pathetic. Not that I didn't already know this, but now I see that I could have done anything else to improve my situation."

"Knowing is half the battle." Shrimp said as he pulled out a bottle and poured me a bit more nectar wine. "Unfortunately the other half is inescapable violence."

"Oh so much violence." I said with a smile.

We both laughed, and with the laughter my shoulders felt… lighter.

I think it was the wine affecting me, but I didn't care right now. I needed to scratch an itch, and step on some ponies. Maybe I had become messed up, but at least I was more in control of myself… or at least I hoped I was.

“So do you have that photoshoot ready?” I asked Shrimp while giving him a seductive look.

He then looked a bit nervous. “Ya, but Pharynx decided to make the booth part of the private party for later. So we will need to share it.”

I shrugged. “That might be fun, it’s not like all your parties end in an orgy or something.”

“Well actually, this one will most likely have one. With everypony drinking the nectar wine, they need to be pushed somewhere privet before they start having sex in the open.” Shrimp admitted.

I thought about it for a moment, and decided that I clearly didn’t care right now. “Whatever, let's just get those photos taken, and deal with the others when it happens. I just really want to put on some sexy dresses.”

“Should we invite your friends then?” he asked.

I gave the changeling a kiss, “Why not, I want something to remember everypony by.”

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The far more empty wagon back to Ursa's Rest bounced about on the uneven road. Molo, Low and I were quite tired, and we all had beardly hidden smiles on our faces. It was clearly a day to remember for all of us, and we all had souvenirs to return with.

I had my photos and earrings, along with my patches and new saddlebag. I also got a small bottle of nectar wine for Grizzly and a Chrysalis motors gun holster for Wiretap. As for Low, he got himself a new tunic that was checkered. Molo simply bought a bunch of sweet food and had already eaten most of it.

Looking at the photos, I literally looked like the mares from the old magazines, stylish and strong. I even had one in a picture frame of Molo, Low, Shrimp and I together, all looking right out of the old world. It almost made me cry looking at it. I know Ma would love to see it. As for the other photos of me and Shrimp… I still didn’t know what to do with them. For now I’ll hold onto them, and think up a way to make sure my family never sees them.

Oddly, the few photos I had of Shrimp in his true form, his wings had quite a beautiful sparkle to it, something I know Pharynx didn’t have in his true state. Maybe Shrimp was just different, as it was not so draining to be around him as it was around the other changelings.

Across from me was a rather sick looking Low Pressure, having had one to many drinks. He was quite a popular pony all day, always with a stallion or two. From what Shrimp told me, narcissists are to changelings like a flame is to a moth. So likely he was drained dry.

Molo on the other hoof just looked tired, and had fallen asleep as soon as she got into the cart. Between dancing her heart out, and jumping from one partner to the next, I was just amazed that she had so much energy.

But now it was all over, I had the documents, and no reason to stay once I picked up my pay. And thanks to Shrimp and Molo, I felt a bit more at peace with myself, as strange as it sounds. Molo helped pull me out of my rut, and Shrimp finally got my head on straight.

It's not like things are fine now, I know that will take time. But now I understand that I had been in control this entire time. My mistake was giving my control over to others. Since the mule Daral, I had been just letting myself be manipulated and used. And it pississes me off.

Half of my anger was at myself for letting it all happen, and the other half was at those who used me. Ma and Pa were completely right about not going out here, but at least I was alive.

Looking at Molo, I still couldn't help but worry for her. She was planning to dive into a raider nest to steal whatever Onyx knows. I'm sure that if any pony could do it, it was an ex-raider. Still, I worried.

But like she told me, It wasn't my problem anymore. It was not my place to tell her what to do, as it was not her place to do the same to me. In the end we were to go our separate ways and we must wish each other luck.

It reminded me of Spell Circuit, and how we parted. I had invited him to stay with me for a night, worried about being alone, yet he turned me down. Then he invited me to join him, but I turned him down. How could things have changed if I had taken his hoof at that time, or forced him to stay with me. Surely not selling my body for caps, he at least might have helped me with that contract.

How would Wiretap have reacted to meeting her uncle?

All thoughts that left me conflicted, and a clear sign that I had indeed, fucked up. A hundred and one ways to not end up a whore, and I just kept my head down and let others choose for me. No wonder I ended up sucking dick every day. But those days are over, and now I am not going to just do what others tell me. If I was going to be free from all that had happened to me, I needed to start taking responsibility for myself.

But that was all easy to say to myself, I was leaving the wasteland after all.

Yawning, everything that I had done was quickly catching up to me, even after having had a rest. Likely because of the changelings, and how they actually feed on love, which was still a mystery to me.

As my eyes grew heavy, my thoughts then drifted to what dreams I'll have. Was it going to be fun dreams, or a horrible nightmare. Either way, I knew I hadn't drank enough to not have them.

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