Chapters Whatever Happened to Diamond Tiara?
It was the end of the school week and all the students of Ponyville Elementary had left the schoolhouse except for one. Diamond Tiara sat at her desk, forelegs crossed indignantly, a scowl on her face.
Exhausted but hovering diligently at her side, Miss Cheerilee cleared her throat. "I realize that most ponies don't like school, but the undue disrespect you show your classmates and I doesn't make it a more positive experience. Next time you feel like putting somepony down, I want you to ask yourself, would I like it if somepony said this to me? And if the answer is no, then just don't say it. Can you do that, Diamond?"
"Fine," she growled, throwing up her hooves in annoyance.
"Thank you," replied Cheerilee, even though she fully believed this was lip service to get out the door. "The other thing is," she continued. "You really need to start taking your education seriously. You're falling further behind your classmates."
Diamond rolled her eyes. "Ugh. So what? I already have money. Why do I even need an education?"
Cheerilee exhaled the air she greatly wished to use on a blunt reply to the stupid, entitled question.
Because maybe with my help there's just the tiniest chance you won't become your mother , snapped her inner voice. She clenched her teeth in a smile but her eyes weren't in it. Her smile had become faker and faker with every passing month of her career.
"More education helps make you a better pony," she argued. "And better ponies make Equestria a better place."
“I don’t want to make Equestria a better place,” smirked Diamond Tiara.
I know you don’t, you insufferable little hellspawn, she thought. That’s why I’m counting the days till you age out of my classroom and are no longer my responsibility. But in the meantime...
"Well, Diamond,” she countered, “maybe not today or tomorrow but someday you just might change your mind about that and it's my hope that if that happens you'll look back at your time in my class and appreciate all the things I did to help get you there.”
Diamond leaned back and cackled derisively in her teacher's face.
Cheerilee pressed her lips together tightly, her cheeks heating up in anger. There was no greater indignity than the honest continuation of this fruitless battle day in and day out. She was still speaking like an idealistic new teacher because she knew it was what she should do. In reality, she hadn't felt that way naturally for years. Her old personality had become nothing more than a teaching persona that she pulled out and put away like a ventriloquist’s dummy, but few ponies seemed to have figured this out. The real her had withered away inside, leaving only a cheerful facade, and even that was beginning to rot as students like Silver Spoon and Diamond pummeled it cruelly with a sledge hammer.
Cheerilee quickly masked her frustration and moved on. "I want you to come in tomorrow for a couple of hours so I can help you with your social studies and reading."
Diamond squinted back at her. "Uh, no thanks. I'm good."
"No,” she replied. “You are clearly not ‘good.’ Hence we are having this conversation.” Her eyes flicked over to the schoolhouse doorway where she spotted a far away Filthy Rich starting up the path to the school. “Oh look, your father's here. Why don't we go see what he has to say about it?" She said this with a genuine smile, but not a friendly one. Diamond Tiara's face fell to her satisfaction, not a spiteful satisfaction, but a relief in knowing she'd been put back in her place for the moment.
The two went out to the playground where Filthy was looking for his daughter in the hooffull of students who were meeting their guardians at the school that day.
“Ah, there you are, Diamond,” called Filthy as he turned around. “Miss Cheerilee,” he nodded cordially.
“Hello, Mr. Rich. I was just speaking with Diamond about her grades.” She spoke softly for privacy. “I have to be here working tomorrow, and I thought it would be a great idea for her to come in for a couple of hours so she can catch up in a couple of subjects.”
“That sounds fine,” he muttered dismissively. Filthy certainly had his foibles, but she could usually count on him to back her up when Diamond stepped out of line.
“But, Daddy,” she whined. “We were going dress shopping tomorrow!”
Cheerilee rolled her eyes subtly. Like I'm super excited to spend part of my weekend forcing you to learn something you should have learned during school hours?
Filthy squinted down at his daughter. “You’re not going anywhere until you take steps to resolve this issue.”
“But, Daddy-”
“But nothing,” he scolded. “I’m not pumping bags of bits into this dump just to have you squander your education. Speaking of which…” His eyes returned to Cheerilee. “How’s that new playground coming along?”
“Oh, It’s just a matter of connecting with the supplier.” Her eyes scanned nervously over the ugly earthworks that had been near the playground for weeks now. Filthy's earmarked donation gave them the money they needed for something big and new, but unfortunately it required coordinating with two different companies, and the task just always washed out of Cheerilee's bloated priorities list. So there it sat, a hideous and unfinished embarrassment that everypony could see.
"Well, in all events,” muttered Filthy, “Diamond will be here at eleven tomorrow.”
“That works just fine, Mr. Rich,” agreed Cheerilee.
"Come on now, Diamond," ordered Filthy as he did an about face on the lawn.
Diamond Tiara followed sulkily, casting a glare back at her teacher.
Cheerilee waved goodbye with a neutral expression on her face. “It’s a date, you little jerk,” she muttered under her breath before shoring up to the playground to supervise Applebloom and Snails.
Before long, Applejack appeared beside her to meet up with Applebloom to take her to Sugarcube Corner in celebration of her good grades. She surveyed the dirt piles and sighed. “Still haven't done anythin’ more with the new playground?”
Cheerilee laughed weakly. “Just... have to get that order all ironed out first,” she breathed, staring at the ground in shame.
“Should at least put better boards over them holes in the meantime. At just a quarter inch thick, somepony could still fall right in and hurt themselves.”
Cheerilee didn’t want to admit that she had to buy all those boards out of pocket and the stronger ones were just too expensive. "Yes, I suppose," she sighed. "But the students at least do a good job of staying out of that area." Even Cheerilee was disappointed with her excuse.
The two Apples meandered away down the path and the teacher turned to the only remaining student, now sitting on the merry-go-round. "Okay, Snails," she chimed. "Time to go."
Snails was always there after school as long as there were other foals around. He was told by his parents to stay at school and only leave when the last student left. That way he spent less time at home, but also wasn’t an unmitigated burden to Cheerilee.
The next day, Cheerilee came into the schoolhouse to clean and change the bulletin boards and the seasonal decor. She planned to work until Diamond Tiara got there. Then when their tutoring session was done, she’d finish up whatever she had left to do. The gramophone in the corner played soft symphonic music and soon she was lost in her work. When she finally checked the clock again, it was eleven ten. Cheerilee frowned. Diamond should be here by now, she thought, but it sure wasn’t hard to imagine her being significantly late to something like this if she wasn’t being escorted.
Cheerilee went to the open door of the schoolhouse and peered out, hoping to see the little pink brat traipsing up the path, her ever present tiara glinting in the sunlight, but there was nopony in sight. She sighed, flipped the record over, and continued working.
At noon, she ate lunch alone and checked the door again. She was almost done working and Diamond was an hour late and counting. Did they forget or did she just ditch and go to Sugarcube Corner or something?
In another twenty minutes, Cheerilee was entirely done with the classroom and sat clicking her hoof angrily on her desk. Diamond wasn’t coming. How obnoxious. She’d now have to follow up on this with a trip to the Rich’s mansion as if she wasn’t already bending over backwards for them, offering free tutoring outside school hours.
Cheerilee growled through her teeth as she locked up the schoolhouse. She slipped the key into her saddlebag and strode briskly down the path toward town. As she passed by the playground and the dirt piles, something caught her eye. She stopped in her tracks and squinted at the anomaly. It looked like one of the holes was uncovered and the board was missing. Curious, she walked closer to investigate. Now what? She’d need to get another board? Who would take- Her thoughts were scattered as she neared the hole and realized that the board had apparently just fallen down. No, wait, it was broken. Suddenly her blood ran cold as the edge of the pit revealed a tiny pink form laying motionless at the bottom.
“Diamond!” she shrieked. “Are you alright?” Cheerilee rushed up to the edge. “Diamond Tiara, can you hear me?”
Diamond laid on her side, eyes open and unblinking, and she still hadn’t moved at all. Cheerilee sat for a moment, waiting to see her sides move with breath. A modicum of reason returned as a thought occurred to her. “You’re not dead. You’re just pranking me. You can’t die from just falling in-” Her eyes landed on a metal bar jutting out a few inches from a red ring on the side of Diamond’s neck. She’d been impaled through the jugular by the exposed metal cage for the foundation of the main play structure.
Cheerilee’s lungs shriveled as the oxygen left them. She scrambled down into the pit to see that a large pool of blood had collected under Diamond. She was cool to the touch.
“This is my fault,” she breathed in terror. “I’m legally responsible. I got a student killed and now my life is over.” A list of things she could have and should have done differently blasted through her mind, but none of it mattered now. Tears began to stream down her face. “I”m so sorry,” she cried.
The unthinkable reality hit her. She'd have to go tell- Wait... Cheerilee stood up, looking out of the pit in all directions, wiping her eyes with one hoof. There was still nopony around. She was the only one who knew about this. She didn't have to tell anypony if she didn't want to. But that would mean-
Hide the body, she suddenly thought to herself. She shook her head, trying to expel the appalling idea from her brain. What? That's insane. But what is there to lose in covering this up? But it's wrong. Diamond's fate is already sealed. Yours isn't. You're already highly culpable for a felony. Even if you somehow skated on charges of negligence, you're still never teaching again and her parents would still destroy you in court and you'd end up in debtor's prison at minimum.
Cheerilee bit her lip. Okay, what do I do now, she asked herself. Knowing the clock was ticking on the success of her ploy, she began to sweat as she quickly formulated a sordid plan. She climbed out of the hole, leaving the body and pulled a board over the top of it from an adjacent hole. Then she ran to the gardening shed and grabbed a shovel. Unfortunately, time and circumstances as they were, she was going to be limited to hiding Diamond's body somewhere nearby. She selected a spot just behind a tree right on the treeline of the woods at the edge of the playground.
Cheerilee began digging up the earth frantically. She wanted the hole deep but also didn't want to take too long making it. Eyeballing it, she decided it was big enough for a filly to be adequately concealed. She ran back to the pit and took a cautious look around before yanking the board off. Then she got back down next to Diamond Tiara's corpse.
Cheerilee’s stomach twisted at the squelch created from lifting the body off of the bar. Fresh blood poured from the hole in her neck. Hesitantly she took Diamond's tail in her teeth and made sure to cover the hole again before galloping across the playground to the grave.
Diamond's body plopped irreverently into the fresh hole, mouth agape, eyes vacant. Cheerilee panted, her heart beating out of her chest, scarcely believing what she was doing.
She cast another glance back at the school grounds to see Ditzy Doo flapping lazily up the path with the mail delivery. The two of them locked eyes and suddenly she changed course to Cheerilee. A bolt of electricity shot through her. She knew Ditzy liked to hoof mail over directly to the recipient. With blood on her hooves and right in the middle of hiding a dead student, Cheerilee began to panic.
"Just- Just leave it on the porch, Ditzy!" she shouted fearfully.
Ditzy's eyes widened, swiveling about in surprise and she stopped to hover in place. Disappointed, she nodded dumbly and flew to the porch to leave the mail.
Cheerilee waited for her to be out of sight before picking up the shovel to fill the grave. She felt a heavy pang of sadness and remorse as the last of Diamond's face disappeared beneath the soil. No foal deserved a shallow unmarked grave like this. The Rich's didn't deserve to have their daughter disappear forever with no answers or closure. It suddenly felt like such a selfish act.
Cheerilee tamped down the dirt and swallowed. "I'm sorry," she breathed once more. Now she had to go get the hose and spray away the blood pool, the blood trail she left on the grass, and the blood on her hooves from tracking through it.
Eventually, after everything was about as good as it was going to get, Cheerilee hurried to the Rich's mansion and knocked on the door.
"Ah, Miss Cheerilee," answered the butler. "Is young mistress Diamond Tiara not with you?" he asked, craning his head out the door to peek.
Cheerilee furrowed her brow. "With me? No. I came to see why she never showed up at the school for her tutoring."
"But she left for the school quite some time ago," he explained.
"Did she? Oh dear."
Cheerilee spent the rest of the day pretending to look for Diamond Tiara. She spoke with her worried parents and the sheriff's department, offering leads and encouragement. She replaced the broken board with a ¾" thick plywood sheet using money she was going to spend on groceries.
That night, all of the things she hid and all of the lies she told came back to her as she laid awake in bed, waiting for sleep to come to her rescue. When it finally did, her dreams gave no sanctuary from the waking horror she'd been thrust into and embraced with both forelegs.
Grudgingly, she did the same thing the following day, searching and putting up missing posters because that's what she would have done in a normal situation where she wasn't responsible for the disappearance of the pony in question.
"I'm a good pony," she muttered to herself in front of the bathroom mirror. "I care. I didn't want this to happen." But on the other hoof, she thought, you know what would have done a lot more good for everypony than performative help after the fact? A thicker board or better yet, a new playground instead of a bunch of deadly holes. Tears began to stream down her face as she opened up the medicine cabinet. They were still there, her bipolar meds. She couldn’t remember when she stopped taking them, but it had been quite a while. She just forgot one day and never got back in the habit. Maybe now was a good time to start again.no good time to start expired meds. She tossed the bottle in the trash. Before she went to bed she took a sleeping potion, anticipating another rough night which she couldn't afford. She had to teach in the morning.
Whatever Happened to Diamond Tiara?
Cheerilee slept through her alarm and was late to school. Her sleep was plagued by nightmares and anything but restful. She stood at the lectern, yawning, still trying to shake off the grogginess of the potion. Her pink mane stuck out in strange directions, not having time to run a brush through it before she left.
"Well, students," she began gravely. "I’m afraid I have some bad news. If you haven't heard yet, Diamond Tiara has gone missing over the weekend."
The lack of a gasp from the class told her that they either already knew or they didn't care.
"Everypony is doing everything they can to help find her. If you have any clues or ideas about where she might have gone or you're worried and just want to talk, please tell me. Let’s all hope she turns up soon.”
Well, isn’t this a metaphor for my life, she thought. Smile and fill everypony’s head with false hope.
She scratched the back of her neck, trying to form a train of thought. "How about for our morning reading game we just do the fill-in-the-blank game from last week? You all seemed to like that one."
There was a general consensus of approving chatter from the class as Cheerilee picked up the word game book. "Okay, Pipsqueak, give me a noun; Remember, that's a pony, place or thing."
Pipsqueak thought momentarily "Umm… hole," he answered.
"Okay, Silver Spoon, name."
"Diamond Tiara," replied Silver.
"Let's do somepony in the room," offered Cheerilee nervously.
Silver Spoon, shrugged. "Miss Cheerilee, I guess."
"Alright,” she sighed, hesitantly scribbling down her own name. “Scootaloo, adverb. That's a descriptive word ending in l-y."
"Oh, guilty ," blurted Scootaloo."
Cheerilee gritted her teeth. "Uh, not quite. An adverb could be something like happily or lovely.”
Scootaloo scratched her head in deep thought. “What about… sneakily? That works, right?”
“Yes, that works,” frowned Cheerilee. “Very good, Scootaloo. Uh, Applebloom, verb ending in i-n-g.”
“Lyin’,” answered Applebloom with a smile.
“Like lying on the bed?” she inquired hopefully.
“Nope. Like tellin’ lies.”
Cheerilee began to sweat. “Of- of course,” she smiled. And on the suggestions went.
“Broken.”
“Messy.”
“Playground.”
“Tree.”
“Behind.”
“Buried.”
“My goodness,” she abruptly declared. “You’re all so very smart. It’s clear everypony has a firm grasp on this and we're all just wasting time with silly games, so let's go ahead and dive right into the next section which is…” she looked at her book. “Advanced punctuation.”
The class groaned in disappointment and Twist raised her hoof.
"Yes, Twist."
"Are we going to have time to work on the exquisite corpse in class today?"
Cheerilee’s eyes bulged, as the only part of Twist’s question that registered in her brain was the word ‘corpse’, which had no conceivable appropriate context off the top of her head. “I’m- I’m sorry what was that?” she stammered.
"Will we have time for the exquisite corpse story today?" clarified Twist, adjusting her glasses.
"Oh," laughed Cheerilee. "I don't know. We'll just have to see." She flipped the chalkboard over to the other side and gasped in shock. There on the slate was a chalk doodle of a pony in the bottom of a hole with exed out eyes. An arrow pointed to the pony with the clear label 'Diamond Tiara.'
Cheerilee turned to the class angrily. "Who drew this?" she demanded.
The students looked back at her in dismay. Rarely had they ever seen her angry before.
"Well?" she prodded. "You think this is a joke?"
Pip raised his hoof cautiously.
"Pipsqueak?" she called.
"You drew it," he answered.
Cheerilee blinked in confusion and then looked back at the chalkboard which displayed the labeled anatomical drawing of a pony she'd made last week.
"Oh… Yes, of course I did, she laughed. She rubbed her eyes and paused to take a deep breath. Obviously I didn't get enough sleep last night, she thought. Or rather, I didn't get any good sleep.
Somehow Cheerilee made it through the whole school day and found herself at the playground, eagerly awaiting complete emancipation from the children.
“Miss Cheerilee?” called a gruff voice from beside her.
She turned with a start to see a dark burgundy stallion, an earth pony with a shock of white mane.
“Yes?” she replied warily.
“I'm Detective Stone Shield,” said the stallion, tapping a badge which hung from his neck.
Cheerilee’s heart began to race. It's fine, she told herself. It's a missing pony investigation, not a murder investigation. He has no reason to suspect you of doing anything wrong so let's just keep it that way. She cleared her suddenly constricted throat. “You’re the PI hired by the Rich’s, right?”
“Yes ma’am,” he nodded.
“Can it wait until after they’re gone?” She gestured to the playground.
“Of course." He lined up beside her to absently watch the students play. "So how long have you lived here in Ponyville?" he asked.
"Oh, all my life," she replied. She looked back at his flank to see that his cutie mark was a single playing card, an ace of spades, and then admired his powerful looking physique on the way back to his face. He was the type she'd be flirting with, had circumstances not been as they were.
"You like it?" he continued. "Is it a nice place? I've never been out here before. It seems nice."
"I like it, but I guess I don't have much to compare it to," she laughed weakly. Her eyes flicked over to the infamous hole. The spot where Diamond Tiara had died was just feet away from them, and the spot where she was buried wasn't much further.
She really needed to keep it together for this questioning. She'd started the day with her filter and social tact working at half capacity, and they'd only been deteriorating slowly ever since.
After Snails left, the two of them retreated to the schoolhouse. Cheerilee took a seat at her desk while Stone sat down across from her with a notepad at his hooves and a pencil in his mouth.
"I'm afraid I can't help you much with your investigation,” sighed Cheerilee, pulling her coffee close. “I never saw her that day."
"That's okay,” muttered Stone Shield. “I have the last time you saw Diamond Tiara as three days ago, is that correct?”
“That’s correct,” she breathed.
“Can you tell me if Diamond was acting strangely or upset about anything before she disappeared? Trauma? Drama?"
"Well, she was not happy about having to come in for tutoring. I know that. Other than that, no."
“She have any other good friends besides this Silver Spoon?” asked Stone before scribbling on the pad.
Cheerilee sipped her coffee. “I wouldn’t say she has any other friends, period.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Would you say she’s an outcast?”
“Eh, not really. She pushes them away. Many ponies just find it hard to get along with her. She could have more friends if she put her heart into it.”
“Does she have any enemies?”
“Well…” Cheerilee paused in deep thought. It was difficult to answer the question without thinking about the obvious implication. Did somepony hate Diamond Tiara enough to make her ‘disappear?’ It sounded silly. Who would levy such a vendetta against a foal? Adults would know better. Another foal maybe? She supposed something like that could happen, like some sort of prank gone wrong. “I wouldn’t say she has any classmates that would reciprocate the same level of antipathy she gives them, if that makes any sense.”
“That’s a good way to put it,” he nodded. “Doesn’t sound like you like her much though.”
“Just trying to be honest with you. I mean, it is what it is,” she shrugged nervously.
“I suppose so... Have you noticed any suspicious characters maybe hanging around the school of late?”
Cheerilee shook her head quickly. “No. Nothing like that.”
“I see.”
She swallowed more coffee and set the mug down roughly. "Um, can I ask you, what do you think the odds are that we'll find her?"
Stone looked down at the table and sighed. "Find her alive or find her at all?"
Cheerilee frowned. "Well, alive, I would hope."
"Unfortunately conventional wisdom says that the clock's about run out on that. In the first couple of days, if they live, they show up at a friend's, somepony finds them or they come home, especially fillies like her who are used to a certain lifestyle."
“I’m not seeing a compelling reason for her to run off and stay gone. If it was an abduction, that’s usually done by a family member and she has no other family here. She disappeared presumably walking alone between her house and the school. It looks to me like an abduction of opportunity possibly by a stranger. It's not for a ransom because the Rich's haven't been contacted with demands, and if it's not for a ransom, well… You know what it's for. They typically don't turn up alive afterwards."
Cheerilee grimaced at the thought. "My goodness. Maybe in Manehattan, but here?"
He put his pad and pencil away. "Could happen anywhere, Miss Cheerilee, but the bottom line is, if she doesn't show before tonight, I wouldn't be surprised if the sheriff's department doesn't break out the cadaver dogs tomorrow morning."
Cadaver dogs, she thought. Like dogs that could find dead bodies? She should move the body significantly away from the school… But that sounded so dangerous. And where could she move it to?
“Well, you have enough to worry about,” sighed Stone, rising to his hooves. He passed her a business card over the desk. “If you see or think of anything else, I’m in town at the Bays Inn. Thank you for your time.”
Cheerilee thought about moving Diamond's body soon after the detective left but couldn't muster the courage. Even though the school was somewhat isolated from Ponyville and saw little activity outside of school hours, it just felt too risky in daylight. She waited for nightfall.
Luckily, there was enough moonlight that she didn't need a lantern to see. She wanted to forgo using a light because it was still too conspicuous for her comfort. Once more, she got out the shovel and in addition, a burlap sack from the shed.
Her heart began to pound as she scraped away the loose soil behind the tree and soon the body was revealed in the soft blue glow of the night.
Cheerilee recoiled in surprise when from out of nowhere she heard the voice of Diamond Tiara.
"Well, well, well. Didn't do such a great job of hiding me, did you?"
She shook her head, trying to dispel the hallucination. Suddenly the smell of the lightly decayed body hit her and she began to retch, turning away.
"Well, what did you expect?" complained Diamond.
Cheerilee ignored the voice and held her breath, quickly scooting the corpse into the bag. She clenched her teeth shut around the top, drawing it closed and then lifting it up. She began to trot through the woods as fast as the trees and her sight would allow her.
“What brilliant place are you going to stick me now?” scoffed Diamond. “The town square?”
Cheerilee remained silent except for her panting. The stench penetrated the course mesh of the burlap and continued to assault her nostrils all the while. She willed her stomach into compliance.
“You’re going to be in so much trouble when my daddy finds out what you did.”
“You’re not talking,” Cheerilee kept whispering. “You’re not talking. You’re not talking. You’re not talking. I’m just tired and it’s my overactive imagination. You’re not talking.” She continued through the woods for several minutes, unwilling to engage with the voice she knew wasn’t real.
Finally she came to the edge of the little ravine. Below was the river which flowed into the Everfree Forest.
Cheerilee took a step back, winding up to sling the sack into the water, then suddenly stopped. No, not with the bag, she thought. It’s evidence, and if she gets found in a bag it basically indicates foul play. That means more investigation. She dropped the sack on the ground and quickly yanked it off of the corpse.
“You can’t get rid of me,” chided Diamond in a singsong voice. “I’m part of you now forever .”
Cheerilee nudged Diamond’s body toward the edge of the bank with her hoof, shoving it roughly at the last inch. There came a loud splash as the remains of Diamond Tiara plunged into the dark river.
Cheerilee looked down to see a black lump drifting away lazily in the current. Contrary to her hope, she felt little relief after ridding the school of Diamond’s body. Instead she collapsed on the ground and began to heave, sobbing in despair, overwhelmed by everything. Diamond’s face. The smell. The deception and the guilt. The absolute horror and disgust at her own actions. The seeming evaporation of her own sanity and every good quality she thought she possessed.
Cheerilee burned the burlap sack in the fire pit behind the schoolhouse. When she got home, she dug her expired medication out of the trash.
Whatever Happened to Diamond Tiara?
Cheerilee laid in bed, staring vacantly into the wall as the early morning light crept in through the windows. When the alarm clock rang, she didn’t flinch. It no longer felt like she was inhabiting a body. She was some sort of vapor cloud spread out thinly across all of existence without power or will or consequence.
She rose shakily to her hooves and shambled over to the mirror. I don’t even know who that is, she thought, staring into the empty holes she called eyes. Her mane was an insurmountable mess. It wasn’t particularly worse than it was any other morning, but she sure wasn’t going to be able to tame it with only fumes of patience and energy left.
I can’t do it, she thought. I need a day off. No. it’s too late to back out today. She rubbed her face, trying to get feeling in it and maybe somehow stimulate her brain.
“It’s fine. I don’t need sleep,” she mumbled, walking into the kitchen. “I just need… lots of coffee.” The jar on the counter was empty of grounds so she reached up and opened the cupboard. She yelped in surprise as the contents of the shelves cascaded down upon her. When she looked down at the floor, she saw a pile of tiaras at her hooves. Diamond Tiara’s tiaras, dozens of them.
Cheerilee’s eyes widened. “What the…” She lifted her gaze slowly to the counter where there sat more tiaras and then up to the cupboard where even more tiaras were stocked, stuffed inside haphazardly with nothing else in sight. Where was her coffee and her baking ingredients? It was all tiaras. She nudged an adjacent cabinet open and gasped as more tiaras clattered to the floor.
“What is this?” she whimpered in confusion. She yanked open a drawer only to find that it was filled with tiaras. Then another and another. Everything was tiaras.
Suddenly, she heard a knock at her door. Her heart began to race. “Miss Cheerilee,” called a voice from outside. “Sheriff’s department. We just wanted to ask you a few more questions about the missing pony case.”
Her voice died in her throat. “Just- Just a minute!” She looked back at the mess of tiaras in horror. How do I hide all of this, she wondered. A big trash bag? She looked under the sink only to be greeted with another pile of tiaras vomiting itself out onto the floor.
There came another knock. “Package delivery,” called Ditzy.
Creerilee squeezed her head between her hooves in distress. “Leave it on the porch,” she cried, whirling around madly in her kitchen as she looked for a solution. Before she could settle on a new course of action, there came a third knock at the door.
“Cheerilee!” shouted Filthy Rich. “Where’s our daughter?”
“I don’t know!” she pleaded, tearing at her face with her own hooves. “I swear I don’t-” She was cut off by the sound of Diamond Tiara.
“I’m in here, daddy,” she called.
Cheerilee’s eyes grew huge in terror.
“Miss Cheerilee’s keeping me in her icebox.”
Cheerilee turned about slowly to face the icebox, all the while the knocks had turned into a constant angry battering and even the windows rattled as if sompony were banging on them as well. Her mane stood on end as she pulled open the door of the icebox. Needles shot up her spine when the twisted, decaying face of Diamond Tiara appeared on her shelf. Her mane was matted with dirt and writhing with maggots. Her pupils were lost beneath a haze of milky white and her mouth... her mouth was hanging open to the side in a silent scream.
Cheerilee slammed the door closed, gasping for air. “I-I didn’t do that!” she spat panickedly. “Why would I do that? Did I do that?” She didn’t even know anymore.
“You need to put new boards over those holes!” shouted Applejack through the still growing cacophony.
Cheerilee covered her ears. “I will, I just need-”
"Miss Cheerilee, this will only take a few minutes."
“I’m not here,” she argued. “I’m late for school!”
"It's a really big package. You have to sign for it," moaned Ditzy.
“Miss Cheerilee, we found a clue!”
Cheerilee threw up her hooves and shrieked so loud that for a moment it was all she could hear as the piercing sound reverberated through her very soul. She turned to run but stumbled on the tiaras, falling flat on the floor. She scrambled, panting and wild-eyed to the back door where she burst outside, screaming with wild abandon down the street.
The entry to the schoolhouse was usually propped open at the beginning of school, but it wasn’t today. The door cracked open and Twist entered alone, warily. The curtains were still drawn, leaving the room unusually dim. For a moment she thought there was nopony else there until she noticed the soft noise of shakey sobbing. On the floor, in the midst of the desks sat a huddled figure heaving quietly.
"Um, Miss Cheerilee?” she called softly. “Are you-"
Cheerilee looked up at her pitifully. "Twist, please help me," she whimpered. "It hurts so much; I can't do it. I can’t- Can you do the other one for me?"
Twist's eyes landed on the floor where sat a pair of scissors and Cheerilee's severed ear in a smattering of blood. More blood streamed down the side of her face from the stump on her head where she held one hoof tightly in place, both trying to stop the pain and the sounds.
"Take the scissors," she sniffed, pointing to the implement. "Cut off my other ear and make them stop talking." Her plea devolved into a fit of sobbing.
Twist shook her head, backing away, fear gripping her throat and taking her voice.
"Twist, please," she cried, reaching out her other hoof in a beggar’s pose.
Twist turned and ran as fast as she could, whimpering to the door.
"Twist!" screamed her teacher in desperation. “Help me!”
Author's Note
"I didn't ask what time it was, you little ginger-headed dork," was the first line I wrote in this story. The whole appeal of the tale for me was to transform Cheerilee into someone angry and paranoid so I set this quote from her blowing up at Twist as my destination and then drove there.
Thanks for reading!My ko-fi if you're feeling inspired to tip me.
Whatever Happened to Diamond Tiara?
Cheerilee didn’t take a sleeping potion before bed, due to the mixed results from the previous night. She woke up feeling even worse, but she did at least make it to school on time. She stood there before the students. Bloodshot eyes. Mind fumbling for direction. The students were out of control, chattering raucously while she zoned out, eyes fixed upon Diamond Tiara’s empty desk.
She was suddenly snapped back to consciousness as somepony threw a fluttering workbook across the room.
“Okay, everypony sit in your seats and quiet down,” she shouted. She quickly tried to get mentally on track while the students settled back down but it felt like trying to scoop up sand with a toothpick.
“Um, well.... Okay, reading. So-”
“Miss Cheerilee,” called Silver Spoon. “That’s not a complete sentence.”
Cheerilee’s eyebrow twitched as the whole room erupted in laughter. A week ago she would have shared a good natured laugh with them, but now she could only feel sad or irritable about everything. Diamond Tiara was gone, and apparently the only pony here that cared was her because here they all were, still able to have a hearty laugh at their teacher’s inability to articulate a coherent thought while she quietly drowned in solitude.
“Very good, Silver” glowered Cheerilee. “Now can you tell me why it’s an incomplete sentence?”
The smile disappeared from Silver Spoon’s face. “Umm… No,” she admitted.
“Then maybe you should spend less time cracking jokes and more time listening in class,” she snapped.
Silver Spoon bit her lip and clammed up in embarrassment.
“As I was saying, you all know that questions mostly only start with a hooffull of different words.” She pointed to the board where many of the words were written down above a pile of short chalk sticks which she could no longer use without breaking. “So for our morning reading game, everypony is going to take turns asking a question beginning with a different word each time until we can’t think of any more new words. Let’s go in order down the rows starting in this corner with Applebloom.”
“Alright,” nodded Applebloom. “Where did you hide Diamond’s body?
“E-excuse me?” blurted Cheerilee in disbelief.
“Huh?” muttered Applebloom.
“What did you just say?”
“Where could my dog be?” repeated Applebloom, taken aback by her teacher’s apparent offense at the answer.
“O-oh." Cheerilee rubbed her ears warily. "Continue.” She pointed at the next student.
"Are you going to run forever?"
Her face tightened.
“Would your parents be proud?”
“Do you think you deserve peace?”
“Could I be next?”
Cheerilee covered her ears but could still hear them speaking plainly. No matter how hard she pushed, their voices made it through.
“Am I next?”
“Will I be next?”
“Stop!” she shouted. “Just stop! You’re not going insane,” she panted shakily. “This will all stop if you just get more sleep. You said that out loud. You said that out loud.” She covered her mouth at the sudden realization of losing her inner voice. “Wooooooooo!” she laughed manically, looking up at the clock and then back down at the students who were all staring at her, dumbstruck. “You know what, everypony? It looks like it’s recess time! Go outside!”
The students looked at each other in bewilderment, but happily obliged, rushing outside to the playground.
Cheerilee sighed like a train engine blasting steam at the station. She flew to her desk and yanked open a drawer, groping around until her hoof touched the liquor flask hidden in the back which she’d use to spike her coffee on particularly difficult days.
"Miss Cheerilee?" called a voice from above her.
Cheerilee flinched in surprise, abruptly slamming the drawer closed.
"It's not actually recess time though," expounded Twist, the only foal to stay behind.
Cheerilee pounded her hoof on the desk. "I didn't ask what time it was, you little ginger-headed dork," she snarled. "I said to go outside ."
"Y-yes ma’am," she cowered before skulking away.
Cheerilee waited until Twist had disappeared from the doorway before reacquiring the flask. She fidgeted anxiously with the screw top and took a big swig.
"Need to supervise them," she muttered angrily to herself. “Before another one falls in a hole.” But she also needed to get her head on straight and recompose herself before trying to teach again. She was really losing it. Never had she felt so out of control.
Cheerilee stowed the flask and wandered out to the playground. She stood at her post, taking deep, rhythmic breaths, trying to clear her head. Her eyes fell on the cluster of boarded over holes. They infuriated her more than ever now. Just one more awful thing on a mountain of awful things. Even now after somepony died, it still needed to be fixed. She couldn't even figure out how to teach anymore. She'd never get this stupid playground built.
She closed her eyes and began taking deep breaths again until she heard Snips and Snails calling out to her from far away.
“Great, just what I-” Her words trailed off as she looked to see Snips and Snails galloping across the field toward her, levitating something in the air and shouting her name.
Cheerilee squinted at the object until suddenly she knew what it was. Her mouth dropped open in abject terror. It was Diamond Tiara’s tiara. She had completely forgotten about the article and just left it there at the grave. She shot a panicked glance to the students on the playground who luckily seemed to be occupied and paying no attention. Then she dashed forward to meet the two unicorns as they continued to shout her name.
“Miss Cheerilee! Miss Cheerilee! We found Diamond Tiara’s tiara!” blasted Snails.
Cheerilee snatched the tiara from the air, obscuring it from the sight of the rest of the students.
“We found it over by that tree near a hole in the ground,” added Snips excitedly.
She leaned in close to them, adopting a deathly serious tone. “I’m so glad you brought this to me but boys, listen, can you promise me something?
The two of them looked up at her and nodded exuberantly.
“I need you to keep this a secret and not tell anypony about it, okay? Not even your parents. It could make a lot of ponies very scared or sad and we don’t want to do that.” She shook her head for emphasis.
“Are you going to take it to the police,” asked Snips.
“Yes, of course,” she nodded. “You don’t need to worry about it. Just go play and remember, don’t tell anypony.”
Snips and Snails exchanged elated glances, adequately content with believing they were contributing to the investigation in secret. Cheerilee left them, rushing back in the schoolhouse. It was horrifying, but not surprising when she thought about it. How could she stay on top of a coverup when she was so frazzled all the time? What else was out there that slipped her mush brain? Though if it had to be found by a pair of students, she was glad it was the two least likely to put two and two together. She opened her desk drawer and shoved the tiara inside next to the flask.
Out of necessity, Cheerilee coasted through the rest of the day with a battery of pre-made busywork. It was the only way she could survive it. After Snails left the playground, she returned to the schoolhouse, planning to ditch the tiara. It was easier and less suspicious than transporting a body so she felt confident doing it during the day. She pulled the article out from the drawer.
“Look who’s back,” mocked Diamond Tiara. “You’re really struggling with this, aren’t you?”
Cheerilee scowled and stuffed the tiara in her saddlebag. She walked briskly out the door with the key in her mouth. The lock clicked shut and suddenly there came another intrusive voice from behind her.
“Hi, Miss Cheerilee!” chimed Sweetie Belle.
Cheerilee dropped the key in surprise. “Son of a whore!” she exploded.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders stared up at her, bug-eyed.
“I mean, what are you doing back here, girls?” she laughed weakly.
“We decided we’re gonna help find Diamond Tiara,” began Applebloom boastfully. “So we’re lookin’ for clues.”
“When and where was the last time you saw Diamond Tiara?” asked Scootaloo.
Cheerilee gritted her teeth in annoyance. “Girls, please, I’ve already done this twice with ponies who actually know what they’re doing. If you want to search for clues, you should do it at her house.” She couldn’t be arsed to try to dissuade them from their antics or get them to act respectfully to the situation. She just wanted them to leave immediately.
“That’s a good idea,” agreed Sweetie Belle.
“Come on, girls,” called Scootaloo. “Let’s go get our cutie marks in detective work!” Undaunted by Cheerilee’s bluntness, they turned to depart down the walk, back into town.
“I wouldn’t count on it,” scoffed Diamond.
Cheerilee sighed and waited until the three of them were out of sight before entering the woods again. She hurried over logs and through dappled patches of sunlight, her face still contorted in worry.
"So what are we doing today?" asked Diamond Tiara. "Besides failing at hiding evidence again."
Cheerilee said nothing.
"Ugh, you're even more boring talking with than you are teaching."
Cheerilee growled unintelligibly.
"Say something already. Why won't you talk to me?"
"Because you're not real," grumbled Cheerilee. "You're my imagination. What would be the point of conversing with my own imagination, especially when it's being so hostile to me?"
"Pfffft. For you, I'm as real as it matters. Get used to it."
"No," she huffed. "You'll be gone soon enough. If somepony finds you, it'll be far away from me and it won't be my problem. Then I'll be able to sleep again and then all this weirdness is going to stop."
"You think you're this way now just because you're worried about getting caught?" laughed Diamond. "The investigation doesn't even matter, Cheerilee. You've already pulled into Crazyville Station and unpacked your bags.
"That's not true," she shot back. "I was fine… mostly just days ago."
"Yeah, until you killed me with your carelessness. You deserve this."
Cheerilee skidded to a stop at the edge of the ravine. She ripped the tiara from her pack and shook it in the air. "You fell in that hole and killed yourself on purpose to get me in trouble! Well you're not gonna win, you hear me? Because I'm smarter than you!"
"You're arguing with a tiara, you loon," posed Diamond.
"You're not a Tiara! You're my inner voice, manifesting as Diamond Tiara's voice and I want you to shut up!"
Cheerilee threw the tiara to the ground and stamped her hoof on it over and over until it was crushed flat. She kicked it into the ravine, hearing it plunk in the water. Then she tore at her mane, screaming in rabid fury, sending echoes through the valley.
